Gardens Archives - Page 10 of 17

Where The Square? – An Update On TIF

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Sep 062011

By Mike Shepherd.

Aberdeen Council have recently noted an interest in applying for Tax Incremental Funding (TIF) from Scottish Government funds. The idea is that the Council would underwrite a loan of possibly £80M or more, £70M of which would be used to help pay for the City Square Project. The final application for funding will not be made until December, by which time a business case for TIF will have been completed.

Earlier this year, the then Council leader John Stewart, extended the remit of TIF to include city centre projects other than the city square. These are:

The City Circle Project: A walkway connecting Union Square and the railway station in a circuit from Guild Street, along Market Street through the St Nicholas Centre, down Schoolhill through the City Garden down Bridge Street and rejoining Guild Street to complete the circuit. Basically, it’s a walkway whereby shoppers in Union Square will be heavily prompted to visit the rest of the city by signs and possibly colour coding.

St Nicholas House Redevelopment: A recent council document stated this:

“In the current property market, however, the Council is concerned that developers will be unwilling to take the risk of demolishing redundant parts of the site, delaying any sale and redevelopment and resulting in a vacant city centre eyesore for a number of years. The council therefore wishes to pre-clear the site, to prepare it for sale, and bring forward development.

“The aspiration is that the tower, if not demolished, would be stripped back to its’ skeleton ready for redevelopment, and recladding and put to new uses either as a hotel, apartments or offices, and a new public square would be created to improve the setting of Marischal College and establish a focal point for a new ‘civic quarter’.”

Of interest in this statement is that the possibility of building a public square next to St. Nicholas House has been resurrected. This otherwise hasn’t been mentioned recently in council papers.

The document mentioned is the Aberdeen City Centre Redevelopment Economic Impact Assessment Information, August 2011. This provides information for a questionnaire to be answered by some 500 organisations and individuals which would provide feedback to assess the economic impact of TIF.

Denburn Valley Health Centre Development: From the same document:

“The health centre on the roof is reaching the end of its design life and NHS Grampian is looking to vacate the building. Planning guidance issued by Aberdeen City Council has called for “imaginative” development of the site using the “highest standard of design and materials to complement the surrounding urban form, listed buildings and conservation area”. Redevelopment must continue to provide for substantial public car parking on the site and is expected to comprise largely commercial space for small and medium businesses and some residential development.”

Aberdeen Art Gallery:

“Infrastructure and development required to link the Art Gallery and Cultural Quarter to the City Gardens including partial redevelopment of the gallery and creation of additional gallery space.”

The Scottish Futures Trust (SFT) are seeking six ‘pathfinder’ projects to help establish the feasibility of TIF in Scotland. Three projects have been approved (Edinburgh Waterfront Development, Ravenscraig, and the Buchanan Quarter in Glasgow) and three more are being sought.

There is strong interest as Barry White, Chief Executive of the SFT told me in an email last week:

“I can confirm that we have received a submission from Aberdeen City Council and will be considering it along with the submissions received from many other local authorities over the coming days.”

The Case for TIF in Aberdeen.

Tax Incremental Funding is well established in the United States and has recently been introduced to the UK. The idea is that a local authority borrows a sum of money for a development project from Government funds and that the extra business rates generated by the development is captured to pay off the loan over 25 years for instance.
It works best where a brownfield site is used to develop a large scale business operation, the revenue from which is to some extent predictable. In this instance, the risk on a council borrowing a large sum of money is mitigated by a sound business model.

The Aberdeen TIF case is largely predicated on the City Square rejuvenating business in the city centre. There would only be a small amount of revenue generated on site and this would be insufficient in itself to provide business rates to pay back a large loan. Instead, it would be hoped to capture business rates from the surrounding city centre both from rates generated by extra business and new developments.

Trying to predict how much extra business will result from a new city square will be to a major extent speculative with a large uncertainty involved. In other words, if Aberdeen Council borrowed £80M through TIF this would be based on hope rather than certainty that the money could be paid back.

Aberdeen Council is £562M in debt according to an Evening Express report earlier this year. The interest on the debt is paid from the revenue budget and soaks up cash that could otherwise be used for service and amenities. The Council cannot afford to take a risk on being left with more debt to service, the budget is under severe strain as it is. On the other hand, I have been told that the city is so short of capital for spending that it is unlikely that there would be any investment in the city centre without TIF.

The £70M loan for a city square would be a loan too far; particularly given how unpopular the project is in the city. There is tacit recognition in the questionnaire document that the City Square Project may never happen.

“This option considers the outcome where the City Garden Project is not realisable, but the other projects are. In this scenario, economic benefit and new business rates would be generated primarily by the North Denburn Valley and St Nicholas House developments. Although likely to be less than would be the case if the City Gardens were to be realised, these two projects would nevertheless likely provide the basis for a smaller TIF.”

In this instance, Aberdeen would get a public square at St Nicholas, which is where most people wanted it in the first place.

UTG Is Not To Blame

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Sep 012011

A year and a half ago, Steve Bothwell wrote to express some, shall we say, ‘reservations’ about ACSEF’s master plan and where Aberdeen is heading. It looks as if he had a point or two.

February 25, 2010 – ACSEF’s plan belies anything that can be comprehended as ‘essential to the future of Aberdeen and the North East of Scotland’. As Jonathon Meades put it, ‘Aberdeen is good at being bad’ – Polite prose indeed.

The former glory of George St, with high quality retail and high quality architecture/replaced with the now John Lewis building (formerly the Co-Op) – St Nicholas Centre and The Bon Accord Centre, whilst severing the bloodline to the rest of George St, which resembles a down market version of the down-trodden Argyle St in Glasgow.

The old Co-op Building in Loch St/Gallowgate, which with little imagination could have been a gem of high quality boutique-scale retail, instead of Architecturally impotent office/residential blocks. St Nicholas house dwarfs Provost Skene’s house, one of the oldest and most architecturally significant buildings in the area.

Union Terrace Gardens is not to blame

The Trinity Centre/Trinity Hall, which subsequently moved to an equally, but on a smaller scale, architectural abortion.

The Old Market building (Market Street and the Green) replaced with the New Market building, sporadically raising pointing questions from the public (locals and visitors alike). Amadeus nightclub on the beach front which offers nothing but bemused and disturbed confusion.

And last but not least, Union Square, which is a glorified retail park with parking. This Architectural abomination will need replaced sooner than we think.

Union Street comes up in conversation with great frequency. For the past 30 years planning and control has become so lax that we are adorned with gratingly luminous patchwork of irregular symmetry. Absentee landlords are never held to task, nor are the lease holders.

Union Terrace Gardens is not to blame.

Most City Councils have made errors, and some cities have corrected them.

Aberdeen City Council still strive forth to allow the most banal picture painting of a living hell, by destroying everything in its path.
Either they are missing the clues which sit firmly on their own created door step or are suffering a serious bout of doldrumitis. The Civic Square planning and design details do not excite but only represent the pointlessness of it.

The City Council, along with ACSEF and Central Government wholeheartedly supported the Peacock scheme, providing local planning guidance was adhered to. This was to make it blend into the historic park. Peacock’s did that.

We now have a scheme, which in its vagueness, is impossible to get to grips with. From that I mean, it is quite obvious that this charade is nothing to do with enhancing our city for future energy companies to get comfy with, because as we know, energy companies care about nothing but energy riches and not about Urban realm Strategies, and especially about retail connectivity.

ACSEF’s approach to retail connectivity is fed through a brainwashing exercise in which the retail ‘Pillars’ unease at motions of failure result in the bandwagon bursting at the seams with the ‘I’m on board brigade’ ensuring their retail offerings, bland as they be, will not suffer the ever-changing movement or trends of public spending.

Union Terrace Gardens is not to blame.

It is poignant that public money has been frittered away on asking Joe Blogs about ‘an idea’, an idea which still reveals no real detail of the final outcome, whereas Peacocks had it sorted and without the need for car parking. Their enhancing project upset no one, and has not created the furore that the Civic square has.

Union Terrace Gardens are not frequented often. Perhaps the reason for that is, the general public are more interested in other things. Society has gone through radical changes and people have become armchair deficits. They rage vengeance on slopes and stairs, grass and beauty, nature and health.

Union Terrace Gardens is not to blame.

However, Courtesy of Grampian Police, the facts are this: – There is negligible crime in Union Terrace Gardens. The Freedom of Information Act has provided much-needed defence, where Union Terrace Gardens is the safest area in the City Centre.

It’s plain to see that ACSEF have not used Europe as an example of quality city centres but used America and Australia as examples. America and Australia are fairly recent countries but wholeheartedly celebrate their Green Spaces.

Aberdeen City Council’s budget is tight and perhaps tight-lipped. And the Scottish Government should be representing Scotland and its history, which it’s not.

Union Terrace Gardens is not to blame.

Old Susannah No. 49 – Board Stupid

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Environment, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Aug 292011

Old Susannah watches the latest developments in the ‘Deen and the wider world and feels like a deer caught in headlights. Here is this week’s look at what’s happening where and who’s doing what to whom. By Suzanne Kelly.

Evening Express readers were rejoicing in the streets last weekend as the results of the ‘Happy Tots’ photo contest were revealed. Little wonder then, that there has been no word there or in the P&J of Anthony Baxter’s continued world tour of his award-winning film ‘You’ve Been Trumped, or the screening of Emily James’s film ‘Just Do It’ at the Belmont. Nor was there space for the little matter of the council’s ongoing deer debacle.
Word has it that the SNP is growing squeamish over the blood-letting that the little creatures (ie the LibDems) will suffer at the ballot box when the voting season opens, and are looking for a way out.

Let’s hope so. Not even the most gullible politician believes the promised carbon off-setting benefits of this unwanted forest has any merit. The Public Services Ombudsman likewise are weighing up the City’s actions over the deer. The Ombudsman may soon look at other matters, but that is another story for another time.

In the larger, non EE world, there is violence at every turn it seems. Happily we can all feel safer for a few reasons. One, the use of tasers seems to be going up in the UK. This seems to coincide with the number of deaths caused by tasers likewise increasing – but then again, that means less criminals on the streets.

It also means less innocent people on the streets, but you can’t have everything.

Tasers don’t cause severe agony I’m told, but there was a police official who was going to make a film demonstrating how innocuous the tasers were, using himself as a guinea pig. Unfortunately, he was in excruciating pain, and his little film didn’t have the desired effect. Tasers are only used by calm, rational, well-trained men, and not angry cops who might repeatedly taser a suspect until they die. Usually.

But I feel even safer still: the US Navy’s been spending time (and lots and lots of money) developing a means to make their weaponry even more deadly. It has been said that this new technology means weapons can explode with up to five times the energy of existing armaments. I guess this is their way of trying to be more energy efficient, so that’s quite good. As things stood, NATO was only able to destroy the world a few dozen times over. Now we can sleep soundly in our beds.

Old Susannah enjoyed the (mostly) sunny Tullos Hill picnic last Sunday and was happy to see some new faces there.

It is a beautiful hill with beautiful panoramic views over city and sea – so it’s got to go. Sadly, a second group of picnic-ers failed to find the main party, but a good time was still had.

Anyway, time for some definitions.

Board:

(noun) a collection of people who have managerial, supervisory, or other responsibilities and powers, e.g.. ‘Board of Directors’ ‘Board of Governors’.

Private company boards are established (normally) to oversee methods and manage reasonable, defined objectives. However, we are in Aberdeen, and are ruled by Aberdeen City Council.

There is no shortage of boards set up by the City and given powers – powers which are always used in a fair, reasonable and democratic way. The Licensing Board did itself proud two years ago; it ran straight to the Press & Journal to say a dozen or so restaurants and clubs, etc. were not compliant with new licensing laws. These wrong-doers were named and shamed in the press, and faced being closed, fined, and having their licenses revoked.

In a truly dramatic style, this was announced about a week before the traditional Christmas lunches and dinners were to be held.

Naturally you would expect a Board to have possession of all the facts before going to the papers. Yet somehow this board made a few tiny mistakes. A few of those it named as non-compliant with the law had, er, long gone out of business. Slightly more embarrassing, at least two of the named-and-shamed establishments were fully compliant, having jumped through hoops made of red tape.

Old Susannah had planned a lunch in such a place, and called the Board once I knew for certain how wrong the Board was. I spoke to a woman; she was very helpful. She asked me who I was to question the board, and told me I must be mistaken. However, a day or so later, the Board had gone back to the P&J with a grudging retraction. My Christmas lunch went ahead, and all was right.

But here are a few lines from the Board we should all be looking at:-

“The role of the Project Monitoring Group is to oversee the Union Terrace City Garden project’s progress and ensure that Council’s interests, and that of the majority of Aberdeen citizens, are protected as the project progresses. The membership of the Project Monitoring Group comprises Councillors Malone (Chair), Boulton, McDonald, Kirsty West, Wisely, Young and Yuill”.

“For reference, the membership of the City Garden Project Management Board comprises Councillor John Stewart (Chair), Councillor Callum McCaig and Valerie Watts, ACC; Tom Smith and Colin Crosby, ACSEF; Jennifer Craw, the Wood Family Trust; Bob Collier, Aberdeen and Grampian Chamber of Commerce; John Michie, Aberdeen City Centre Association; Lavina Massie, the Aberdeen City Alliance, Maggie McGinlay, Scottish Enterprise and Paul Harris, Gray’s School of Art”.

– Aberdeen City Council Website

I guess it must be an Aberdonian thing, but here we have a board to oversee a project which 55% of people responding to a survey don’t support. (Arguably the number against ruining UTG is higher, as a tiny hiccough in the online voting system changed negative votes to positive ones – I guess it’s hard to use this new-fangled technology).

Isn’t it wonderful that this Board just sprang into being without the need to trouble the taxpayer or voter as to their thoughts?

Perhaps it will be a difficult job to be a board member here – for one thing these selfless souls have to ‘oversee the progress’ of the project which is unknown (there is no scope, timescale or budget agreed – but I’m splitting hairs). If you look at the paragraphs above, you might get the idea that not progressing the project is not an option.

The tricky bit will be how on earth to ‘ensure that Council’s interests, AND that of the majority of Aberdeen citizens, are protected as the project progresses.’

I vote we protect the Council’s interests above all else. The project will progress, and the vastly different interests of the Council and the citizen somehow have to be both ‘protected’. This Board (led by one Mr Gerry Brough) has so far protected us by employing a wide range of techniques.

These include setting up a company to take the project forward with no mandate from the people, stacking the board with people who want a Wood Group solution for UTG, and by redacting minutes to protect us from truth. I feel as protected by Gerry Brough and this board as I do by the US Navy and its brand new super-explosives.

It is unclear who designed the make-up of this board, but I wonder – did they have a small, subconscious desire for the project to go ahead?

It almost seems as if most of these people are desperate for the gardens to be turned into whatever Wood (and Milne) want. Then again, the presence of Jennifer Craw to represent the Wood Family Trust is a reassuring sign that everything is totally impartial and ‘above Board’.

Citizens opposed to the project should not bother their heads about the decision the board made: there will be no opportunity at the upcoming public consultation to vote to leave the gardens as is. You get to vote on which of the six shortlisted projects (again chosen by a handful of non-elected people) you want – and that’s that. And this wonderful, unbiased board has just decided at its last meeting to start lobbying government officials to pressure them to go ahead and fill in our garden.

If you want to write to the Board and tell them how happy you are with their work so far, please do. And if you feel like doing some lobbying of your own, you can always write to the Scottish Futures Trust to tell them how happy you are about these fantastic garden-raising plans.

The City is some £50,000,000 in the red

But of all the many boards we have working hard to keep Aberdeen the efficient vibrant, dynamic hub it is, there is a board composed completely of planks.

I refer of course to the Budget Monitoring Board: the City is some 50 million pounds in the red that we know of. That really is some job they have managed these past few years.

Dictatorship

(noun) system of government wherein a single person or small group has undemocratic control and powers over the citizenry; often a totalitarian state.

Despite their threatening and irrational behaviour, it looks as if some of the world’s most hated dictators are set to topple. These hated figures have held onto power at all costs, some for many years, despite people demanding that they go. Dictators try to threaten journalists and other critics; they use threats of legal action to silence opposition. These dictators often look slightly deranged and dress in odd garments, and often look over-tired and slightly bloated.

One of my favourite quotes from the ‘Harry Potter’ series of books by the inimitable JK Rowling went something like this (I paraphrase).

“Dictators always fear the people that they oppress, for they know that one day, someone will rise above the masses and over-throw them.”

– Apologies for the bad phrasing JK, but it’s true. Those who come to power and then disregard clear voices of opposition and who do not play fairly will eventually be overthrown, or just voted out of office.

So dictators, do everyone a favour and just leave when asked to go. (PS – in a related development it seems that Libya has finally got rid of Gaddafi).

Next week: start queueing now: the great St. Nicholas House furniture sale is ON! Grab a future heirloom from the used, battered desks and chairs. You paid for them once – here’s your chance to pay for them again (not to mention the brand new furniture you bought for Marischal College). Sale stars 3 September.

Old Susannah No. 48 – Never A Dull Moment In The ‘Deen

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Aug 182011

Old Susannah looks back at the week that was and wonders who’s up to what and why. By Suzanne Kelly.

The leak’s leaked. Those nice people at Shell seem to have been economical with the truth about their North Sea oil spill; they say they have been completely open and honest. However, some half a dozen environmental/animal groups do not think so.

I know whom I am tempted to believe. I hope Shell can do for us what it has done for Nigeria, farmers in Northern Ireland, etc. etc. If nothing else, it is good to know Shell has gone into public relations overdrive and is pouring oil on troubled waters.

Back on dry land, it is hard to know where to start doing a round-up of this past week’s events in the ‘Deen and the wider world. The Road Sense AWPR appeal has failed. Helpfully, Kate Dean posted on a Facebook discussion thread (you see – she is down with the kids for definite) stating:

“I’m amazed that this topical community hasn’t seen fit to discuss today’s Court of Session ruling on the Aberdeen Western Peripheral Route.”

I told our Katie:

“To Ms Dean – nice to see you weighing in. I think you will find this ‘topical community’ and the Aberdeen Voice have historically dealt with both sides of the AWPR story. As the Voice is a weekly publication, no doubt some contributors will send in relevant items for next week’s issue. You would be welcome to write a piece as well”.

Alas! Kate relied:

“I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to contribute to a publication which habitually refers to me in such a derogatory and insulting fashion”

I tried to explain that my writings are ‘satire’ (well, for the most part). Of course there is not much tradition of important politicians being satirised in Great Britain – well, only since the time of King John, and more recently Hogarth, Spitting Image and Private Eye. (I would have also replied: “XXXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXXXX”, but I could not figure out how to do redacted text on FB). Perhaps I just do not know the meaning of the word ‘appropriate’ – time to see what can be learnt from Kate’s examples (see definitions).

Perhaps Kate thinks that is the end of the AWPR matter, and the necessary, environmentally-friendly, economical road will go ahead. Well, we will see. PS – my Facebook Home page tells me to suggest friends for Kate. Any ideas?

And we have another nursing scandal; this time at Woolmanhill.

A nurse has allegedly been over-drugging patients, and gave a person a salt-cellar instead of their inhaler. We are getting close to a medical scandal a week. I wonder if all the cutbacks to frontline services might be related to frontline services going down the pan.

Old Susannah’s had a senior moment; I remembered writing about the brilliant designs shortlisted for the gardens, and thought I had done so in a column. Turns out I had only done so on Facebook. While trying to find what I did write, I googled my way upon this quotation:

“The gardens have the potential to be transformed in to a popular, attractive and vibrant green space in the heart of the city. The gardens have come under increasing pressure in recent years, with various schemes put forward to raise their level and develop them as a leisure facility. Care must be taken not to over-develop the space and potentially risk losing its essential drama and historical landform”.

– 2007, AberdeenCityCouncil Report

The above was the conclusion the City came to in (yet another expensive) report in 2007. Since then a few things have changed, and commonsense has prevailed: the only thing wrong with Aberdeen is that UTG is not vibrant and dynamic. This is why we are all going broke, crime is shooting up, the independent shops are closing, and the streets are filthy: it is the gardens – they are not used enough and are in a valley!

We may or may not get a vote on the Gardens’ future – but we have lined up five designers who have form when it comes to doubling and trebling their budgets. I guess if you want something as beautiful, as functional and elegant as the Diana Memorial Fountain in Hyde Park, it’s going to cost. Then again, an inflatable Jacuzzi (on sale via ‘Groupon’) would have been as pretty and functional – and costs a few million less.

I’m sure it’s because I didn’t study architecture in great depth, but at first glance I thought the shortlist was the most predictable collection of expensive hacks to ever build boring and unsuitable creations, obviously my mistake.

Still, the Diana Memorial Fountain designer is one of our fine finalists! I hope you are as excited as I am. Since I did not go into detail about the talented designers Malcolm Reading has lined up to fix our city’s problems and how much it is likely to cost and since I cannot find my writings on the matter to begin with, (but I did mention some of the references rxpell uses), here is a good article from rxpell that sums things up nicely:
http://rxpell.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/a-look-at-the-city-square-short-leet/

This article will help you decide which of our five finalists to vote for. If you get a vote. We do not know for sure, even though HoMalone’s promised us a vote, which would include leaving the gardens as they are. But this is Aberdeen, and the government’s position changes more often than the weather.

(I would love to say I have been out at nice dinners and working my way through the ever-changing Brewdog menu, but for the time being my doctors have me on lockdown, and am forced to live off rice, tofu and yoghurt drinks. Somehow this does not really suit me. Still, I will be back doing the rounds as soon as I can). But now for some definitions.

Appropriate:

1. (adjective) fitting, proper, suitable, in accord with acceptable norms.
Am I ever embarrassed by Kate’s telling me that it ‘is not appropriate’ for her to write in the Voice, as we are derogatory about her. Shame-faced, I asked myself what can I learn from her example of what is appropriate behaviour? I came up with a few examples.

What is appropriate:

To be a supporter of the Cove Rangers, to be the president of its fan club, have a husband who is a Scottish Football Association referee, and to be administrator of the family plumbing business (Brian J Dean) which sponsors the club – and to endorse plans to build it a new stadium without any qualms or conflict
To make comments to the media about how wonderful a new stadium for the Cove Rangers team would be, yet to sit as convener of the Loirston Loch hearing (despite opposition from community councillors) which is tied to Cove Rangers’ future
To comment to the Loirston Loch hearing that you attended a meeting where virtually all present voted against the stadium going ahead, but that you were sure a man there wanted to vote in favour of the stadium – but was afraid to (mind-reading is a skill every councillor should have)
When implementing swingeing budget cuts (and having thousands of people march against them calling for your resignation) to reply ‘I was elected to do a job and I am going to do it’
To accept dozens of tickets to concerts and events at the AECC in a single year, despite guidelines suggesting this might not be ‘appropriate’

Thank you Ms Dean – I will indeed learn much from you, and will continue my studies.

And to whom but Aberdeen’s first citizen should I next turn towards to learn about appropriate behaviour: Mr Milne has it nailed. Out of the goodness of his heart, he allowed people to actually comment on his stylish plan for Triple Kirks (the Press & Journal obligingly called the area an ‘eyesore’ in an article. There goes that bothersome blurring of ‘editorial’ and ‘article’ again, which of course is not appropriate).

Those who did comment on the Triple Kirks plans marvelled at the giant glass boxes (never mind the peregrines). At least Milne said as much, claiming the majority loved his ground-breaking design.

(Hmm, if only there were some nearby, empty space that could be converted to parking, the scheme would be even easier to approve – if they could come up with some kind of a plan…). Anyway, those few who objected and left email addresses got a very appropriate follow-up email from a Milne company, which reads along the lines of:

“From: “sales@stewartmilne.com”

“Many thanks for your enquiry. We will forward details and information to you shortly. We’re here to ensure that buying your new home is easy and enjoyable, so if we can help any further, just let us know. Sell Your Home in 5 Days”

Now if I were a sceptical, cynical person, I would ask myself: is writing to people who opposed your plans and offering to get them a new home in an ‘easy and enjoyable’ manner something that could be construed as a bribe? Well, the City says everything is fine, so I guess it is all appropriate. I have dismissed the idea that offering sales help to people who were against you is at all wrong.

I hope this has cleared up what is appropriate and what is not.

Appropriate:

2. (verb) – to take by deceit or force that which belongs to another.
See: Union Terrace Gardens, City Garden Project, ACSEF, Donald Trump, Compulsory Purchase Orders.

Tradition:

(noun) custom or activity rooted in the past.
People are funny about their traditions. We are being told by the City Council that painting the Lord Provost’s portrait – and celebrating the glorious event with an expensive party is OK – as it is tradition.

Foxhunting (no, not with golf clubs and tame foxes, Mr Forbes) was a United Kingdom tradition going back hundreds of years; it was deemed cruel and barbaric, and therefore has been made illegal. The Catalonia area of Spain has recently given bullfighting the coup de grace – it is hard to imagine anything more barbaric than bullfighting masquerading as a ‘sport’.

I came under criticism (on Facebook again – I really must stay away from that thing) for saying Spain should consider doing away with bullfighting. (PS – if you really think the bull has a chance, and there is no prolonged torture or pain, and it is a brave matador that fights a bull with only a cape to protect himself, then think again – PETA will put you right).

Someone said I was showing ignorance of Spanish culture and tradition. Their point was that tradition was more important than the animal issues. I say “bull”.

The city could not afford to replace broken windows in schools only a few years ago, but wants to shell out on canapés for its elected officials and the usual suspects to celebrate the fact that its Provost is an oil painting. Too right. Without these traditions, we would start moving forward. And the future is uncertain. It is best to cling to what previous generations did – it is safe (well, maybe).

If we always paid for a portrait, then we had better keep paying for a portrait. We might have to cut a few services, but let us stick to whatever was the more traditional course of action. It is important to bear in mind that all traditions are equal in value and all are good. Perhaps we could bring back ducking witches in the loch? Yes, to question traditions is to question culture and nationalism – and where would be without nationalism?

In my world, it is the 21st Century. The whole world is under different pressures than it was when these wonderful traditions came about. There should be more enlightenment and compassion than brutality and superstition; we have run out of excuses. But then I turn on the news, and realise that I have got it wrong again.

Old Susannah is now out to catch something for dinner, and possibly bash a few enemies over the head with my wooden club. Now where did I leave my bow and arrows?

Next week: hopefully some FOI news, more definitions, and a back-to-school special look at education.

Aberdeen Council: Where’s The Brief ?

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Aug 182011

An update on the Council – and non-council designs on Union Terrace Gardens by Mike Shepherd

Six architects are busy designing a modern square and a subsurface concourse for the proposed development of Union Terrace Gardens. The public can expect to see these designs in early October. The architects have been given a design brief by the project implementation team for the City Garden Project, telling them what it is they are expected to design.

Only part of the brief has been made public; most of our councillors still have not been fully informed as to what the architects are being asked to do with our public, open, green space.

Yet, the intention had been for the councillors to sign off the design brief, but this never happened. Councillors are informed about the City Garden Project in a series of meetings for a group called the Project Monitoring Board. The minutes of the meetings are posted on the council website. The April minutes state:

“MRC (Malcolm Reading Company – the company managing the competition) will produce a comprehensive design brief and this will be submitted to Council on 29 June 2011, for ratification, before being issued to the short listed companies.”

Two months later, the June minutes stated:

“Mr Brough informed the group that the project management group had met on Monday the 6th June and had discussed and also amended a draft of the brief that Malcolm Reading has written up. The final brief will go to council on the 29th of June for noting. Mr Brough informed the group that the brief for the design didn’t go into much detail and may seem vague as the brief needed to allow some leeway and not be too prescriptive to the architects.”

This document was provided to councillors and gave some vague details as to what was expected of the architects including a specification for “ a contemporary 21st century garden”. I was present at the Council meeting on 29 June and the design brief was never discussed. There was a lengthy debate on allowing smoking in homeless accommodation and that was more or less it. I asked the council executive why the design brief had not come up. I received this reply on 3 July, just after the council meeting:

“I reported to the Project Monitoring Group what was intended at the time of the meeting. However, it was subsequently decided, by members involved in determining the Agenda for Council meetings, that there was no need to obtain Council approval for this and that it should go to Council as an attachment to the normal quarterly City Garden Project Bulletin report.

“Also, the brief still has to be finalised, by the addition of various technical annexes, before being issued to short-listed companies on 21 July.”

This makes it clear that the brief had not been completed by the time of the council meeting on 29 June, and that ‘members’ had pulled the item from the agenda. The document provided to councillors was not a finalised version. I wrote an open letter to councillors criticising the decision not to allow councillors to ratify the design brief. https://aberdeenvoice.com/2011/07/an-open-letter-to-our-councillors-city-garden-project/

“You have now lost control over the City Garden Project. A non-elected body has now made decisions as to what our city centre should look like. They have decreed that the Denburn should have a “contemporary 21st century garden”, not you. It is this body that is also deciding what the large underground concourse should be used for. If conference and exhibition facilities are to be provided, then this will clearly have implications for the future of the Aberdeen Exhibition and Conference Centre at the Bridge of Don. However, this is not a decision that you will have any control over unless you turn down the city square plans.”

The public should be extremely worried about the loss of democratic control over the City’s assets. The public was ignored when they voted against the City Square in a public consultation last year, now the powers given to our councillors are being bypassed too.”

This was repeated in a letter in the Scotsman and later partly republished by Private Eye. The result was a major row in the council chambers, which still has not died down yet. Some councillors and council officials were very upset at the statement that councillors had lost control over the City Garden Project. Others were annoyed that they had not been allowed to debate the design brief. Labour Councillor Willie Young asked a series of questions at this week’s Council meeting.
http://committees.aberdeencity.gov.uk/ieListDocuments.aspx?MId=1972

One of the questions was:

“To ask the Chief Executive if it is normal for third parties who currently do not own, lease or have any pecuniary property rights over a public asset such as Union Terrace Gardens to actively promote, encourage architectural design briefs on an asset they currently do not own, lease or have any pecuniary right over?”

The Chief Executive replied to this as follows:

“No. Any party does so at their own financial risk. However, the Council by virtue of their decision of May 2010 and those of subsequent meetings have noted and encouraged the course of action undertaken by the City Gardens Trust.”

The following request was also made:

“Council agrees that in order to provide proper scrutiny over an area of land currently under the City Council’s direct control, and to ensure that no citizen or citizens of Aberdeen can accuse the Council of “losing control” over the City Garden Project, as well as to ensure beyond reasonable doubt that there will be a local democratic audit of plans for an area of the city centre that many Aberdonians care passionately about, Council undertakes without delay to determine a design brief to be provided to architects which meets the requirements of the citizens of Aberdeen as approved by elected members, the democratically elected guardians of this fine city.”

This was not debated at the Council meeting on Wednesday. However, I’m told it will come up for discussion at a later Enterprise, Planning and Infrastructure sub-committee meeting.

I would ask councillors to stand up and assert themselves on this issue. You are our elected representatives. There should be local democratic control over our public open green space, its function and its utility. It’s not up to a bunch of businessmen and their friends to decide what our city centre should look like. Nobody voted for them.

An Interview With A Local Green Hero

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Aug 142011

The inaugural Friends of Duthie Park open day was eagerly anticipated by the Aberdeen public. Of particular interest was the return of ‘Spike’ the talking cactus’. After an absence of 10 years, the return of Aberdeen’s legendary talking cactus was a ‘must see’ for Voice’s Fred Wilkinson.

The purpose of the day was to showcase Duthie Park and highlight the major restoration work to be undertaken shortly within the park and to that end, they certainly achieved their objective with a substantial number of new ‘Friends’ recruited.
Over 2000 visited throughout the afternoon in spite of the heavy shower that interrupted proceedings just before 2 pm![1]

Duthie Park Friend David Macdermid told Aberdeen Voice:

“While the queues to speak to Spike the Cactus began long before things got underway, other attractions were also extremely popular including the horse and cart rides, the Grampian Fire & Rescue appliance and, of course, the fun rides for the youngsters.”

I must admit I was nervous at the prospect of interviewing a cactus, particularly such a celebrated succulent. I had not anticipated his initial prickly responses however – particularly to my request for a short interview.

“It better be quick” he responded, ” Ah’m affa busy ye ken”

I assure Spike I am similarly “affa busy” and therefore the interview will surely be a quick one… I certainly do not want to get off on the wrong foot, so having queued up behind several adoring children to grab this opportunity, I hurry forth my next question:

“How does it feel to be back in the public eye?”

“Are you haein a go at me for haein jist the one eye?” ( cue suppressed laughter from a nearby woman and child )

Oh dear, I am not doing well at all. OK, Rephrase:

“How does it feel to be back in the limelight?”

“The limelight? Aye, It’s fine tae be back”

“Good to see you back Spike, and you seem very relaxed”

“Well, Ah’m at hame, if ye canna relax at hame far can ye relax?”

Good point Spike, but the question needs to be asked:

“What have you been up to the past 10 years?”

“Ah’ve been awa on ma holidays. Ah’ve been daein a’ kinds o’ things”

Including raising funds for Comic Relief it would seem. Good show Spike, but:

“Have you been to any exciting places?” I asked.

“Aye, Ah’ve been a’ ower the place. Ah wis awa tae Australia”

At this point I am impressed that for all his lengthy period of absence and all his travels, Spike’s homely, broad Doric accent has survived 100% intact and unaffected. I am also aware that he seems to have become a little less suspicious of my motives so I move on to what might be an awkward subject.

“I understand you have had some lifesaving surgery recently Spike”

“Fa, you hiv?”

“No, not me, yourself. I hear you’ve been very ill”

“Aye, but Ah’m fine now …. thanks tae the folk at Richard Irvin“[2]

I could sense that Spike was reluctant to expand, and that perhaps the experience was a little painful to recount – particularly on such a day of fun and celebration so I decide not pursue the issue.

After all, I am on a roll, and some young, and not so young children are now coveting my position of privilege directly in front of the revered celebrity.

There remained time only for the question which readers would not have forgiven me for not asking:

“Are you going to be around for a while Spike?”

“Ah hope so” he replies …. somewhat unsure ” They’ve nae telt me yet like”

“So, your contract is in the post?”

“No, Ah’ve got the contract…. Ah’ve jist nae signed it yet” ( laughter )

“Good for you Spike, you make sure you get a good deal”

“Are you gan tae come and see me like?”

I surely will Spike. Great to see you back in action. A generation has missed you and a further generation don’t know what they have missed.

The Friends of Duthie Park would like to thank everyone who played their part in making the day a great success and, in light of how well it went, the possibility of further events will be considered by the committee.[1]

Joining the ‘Friends’ is free and application forms are available on www.friendsofduthiepark.co.uk.

Notes.

[1]- Thanks to Dave Macdermid for the supplementary information and input.

[2] – Spike has been in a condition of considerable disrepair for many years and was, thankfully, restored by staff at Richard Irvin Services Group in time for the ‘Friends’ Open Day.

Thanks also to ‘Aberdeen’ community page on Facebook for images.

Disclaimer.

Unfortunately, the voice recorder on my mobile phone proved to be a rather unreliable facility. Therefore the above interview was, for the most part, written from memory. Thanks for the memory Spike.

Friends Of Duthie Park Open Day – Sun August 14

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Aug 102011

With thanks to Friends Of Duthie Park and University of Aberdeen Natural History Centre.

Ahead of the forthcoming major restoration work that will see the return of much of the original Victorian elements to the north east’s most popular visitor attractions, the ‘Friends of Duthie Park’ group is hosting an open day later this summer.
Sunday 14th August will see festivities running between 12 noon and 4 pm and there will be something for all of the family.

Friends Chairman Tony Dawson explains,

“This will be an opportunity to celebrate the park as it is now prior to the refurbishment. I think it’s fair to say that many people know there is major work to be undertaken without necessarily being aware of all that is involved.

“Consequently, we will have a powerpoint display of the planned work, running on a loop, while at 1 pm and 3 pm, there will be guided tours around the park explaining the details of the restoration which is substantial and includes the return of the ‘Duthie fountain’ and the re-establishment of the original promenade.

“In addition, we’ll have plenty of entertainment including horse and cart rides, music from the Bon Accord Silver Band, zumba and fitness demonstrations, gardening workshops and many other stalls and attractions.

“We are hoping to welcome back ‘Spike’ the talking cactus after an absence of more than a decade. However his electrics are in need of some attention and if there is anyone out there who feels they could repair him, then we’d be delighted to hear from them as he would bring back lots of memories for those of a certain generation.”

A full timetable for the day will be available on www.friendsofduthiepark.co.uk from the beginning of August.

Duthie Park Open Day
Sunday 14th August
12 til 4pm
Come along and join in the fun

Footnote:
The “Friends of Duthie Park” was set up in 2006 as a charitable organisation established to promote Aberdeen’s world famous park, one of the most popular tourist attractions within the Granite City.

The Friends work closely with the Park’s owners, Aberdeen City Council to provide a positive mouth piece for the Park’s users.

Currently the Friends organisation is closely involved with the bid by Aberdeen City Council for Heritage Lottery Funding to restore areas of the Park to their former glory.

They actively encourage membership of the organisation, which currently is free, as they are always interested in facts, knowledge or ideas for the Park.

Old Susannah No. 46 – Thinking Outside The Box

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Aug 042011

Old Susannah looks back at the week that was and wonders who’s up to what and why. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tartan Day.

A few impressive pipe bands, some knights in armour, and the Lord and Lady Provost paying tribute to the legacy of William Wallace. Wallace famously fought for independence for his people against the rich and powerful tyrants of the day, who thought they were above the law.

You might say Wallace took ‘direct action’ to extremes. How pleased he would have been to think our Provost and Council uphold the principles for which he was hung, drawn and quartered.

His statue of course overlooks the remains of the historic Denburn Valley, known to you and me as Union Terrace Gardens: also known to Wood and Milne as a cashcow. How exactly the Wallace monument will look adjacent to any of the mysterious, unexplained, undisclosed £140 million pound proposals will be anyone’s guess.

No doubt we will wind up with something that sensitively ‘connects’ the Victorian park to the impressive granite architecture. In short expect glass, concrete, parking spaces and a monorail platform. I suppose we could always take Wallace down and sell him for scrap metal to help with the UTG fundraising. He’d have wanted it that way I am certain.

A few interesting titbits have been coming in from here and there. Ms Valerie Watts showed up to speak to a Community Council Forum earlier this week, but she was unamused to be asked about the Tullos Hill roe deer cull.

Ms Watts also owes me a reply to a formal complaint on the whole Tullos issue; I’ve chased it up (again) today.

In fact the City is launching a PR offensive, and has offered to have officers present the tree proposal to community councils. You might want to contact your council for details – the question and answer sessions (if any) alone should be worth showing up for. We are told the community councils ‘only know what’s been in the media’, and don’t know the whole facts.

Media’s fault of course. Nothing to do with the council not giving the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth from the start of this great plan. Of course if people wanted to write to Ms Watts to either support or reject the cull (or ask how the £43,800 ‘repayment’ was accidentally forgotten when I asked about it), all they have to do is drop an email to her at chiefexecutive@aberdeencity.gov.uk.

Feel free to ask any questions you want; but as a health and safety precaution, do not hold your breath until the answer arrives. At this rate we won’t get on with any definitions, so without any further ado, I will get stuck in.

Association of Community Councils

(noun) a collective body promoting the importance of community councils. A not-for-profit body with the following aims (well at least until it is culled next year):

“To encourage exchanges of information between Community Councils.
“To promote examples of best practice in the work of Community Councils
“To offer impartial and unbiased advice, training and information to Community Councils
“To facilitate communication between national bodies and Community Councils
“To preserve the independence of each Community Council
“To ascertain, collect, and express nationally, the views of Community Councils.
From: http://www.ascc.org.uk/about

Unfortunately, it’s very, very expensive to run this Association. It costs a massive £70,000 per year to run*, so obviously this forum for sharing ideas and experiences to strengthen community councils must be culled.

Aberdeen has its own unique way of dealing with community councils – it ignores them. When it comes to consultations about deer, travellers, Union Terrace Gardens, closing schools or cutting services, our City Councillors generously take decisions without unduly burdening the elected community councillors.

Nigg Community Council was told, not asked, about the takeover of its park by Cove Bay Rangers football club (fan club president: Ms Kate Dean). They were told, not asked over the deer cull and the Loirston Loch stadium. Just this week Nigg CC for some reason objected to a housing officer’s plans to throw Calder Park open to travellers for a few months.

What’s wrong with not being asked about this great plan in advance, I wonder?

This is all part of the City’s ‘consultation’ and ‘transparency’ drive. Once the Association of Community Councils is gone, the Community Councils will be on their own. In fact I’m surprised we haven’t had city councillors trying to kill off the community councils yet. Some of these councils get nearly £3,000 a year or so to help people in their communities.

Perhaps it would be better to leave important matters to our tried and tested, honest, reliable, transparent, vibrant central government officials and councillors (well, the ones who keep out of jail and don’t get arrested for kerb crawling anyway. Great minds like HoMalone, The Fletch and The Dean and so on). I know I can barely get through a day on my own without their guidance.

The Association stood up for the community councils, shared best practice, shared experiences, and helped people (me directly for one) – no wonder it had to go.

*Note: £70K doesn’t’ get you much these days. Aberdeen’s ‘Change Manager’ earns £80,000 per year. Scottish Enterprise costs some £750 million per year. And ACSEF’s annual running costs? No one knows for certain.

Streamline

(verb) to abbreviate, shorten, abridge an object or procedure.

Central Government has recently announced it wants to ‘stop’ people creating future impediments to great projects like the AWPR. The Loirston Loch stadium, being plunked in the heart of greenbelt land, never even got called in.

Time for more projects like the stadium to be ‘streamlined.’

You will have seen the dreadful news this week. There was nothing sensationalist or alarmist in the Evening Express headline which told us in effect ‘Not building the AWPR costs £1 million per month’! Absolutely shocking! To think that people who don’t want this road built actually are standing up and using their legal rights to challenge it! They even have the nerve to challenge the public/private funding mechanism the government wants to use to pay for the dream highway.

Obviously I believe it costs at least £1 million a month not to build the road – but you might want to have a look at what the Road Sense people think actually building the road will cost:- http://www.road-sense.org/AWPR-MortgagingYourFuture.html .

I wouldn’t worry too much about their figures. The road isn’t going to cost you a great deal of money. However your children and their children’s cost for the road is another story, but like Scarlett O’Hara – with PPI financing, you can ‘worry about it tomorrow.’ Financially, it is as sensible as the funding plans for the ‘transformation’ of Union Terrace Gardens.

‘Streamlining’ planning applications can only be a good thing.

If anyone out there can figure out how much the AWPR has already cost in consultants and consultations, I’d really like to hear from you. Let’s be fair – there was a consultation. A great big costly travelling consultation, with bells and whistles.

Of course the routes suggested in the very expensive consultation have nothing to do whatsoever with the road plans as they stand now, but let’s not split hairs. Money is very tight right now. We’ve got to cut corners (if we’re going to have the dosh to keep a couple of wars and our banks going).. The suggestion of ‘streamlining’ the justice system to get rid of pesky jury trials was a great idea – we may still get that one.

‘Streamlining’ planning applications can only be a good thing.

It is very reassuring to know that Alex Salmond is putting his mind to this worthy end. We really should have made it easier for that nice Mr Trump from America to build the world’s greatest environmental disaster – sorry – golf course at Menie… Look how much good it’s doing for everyone! Jobs creations! Tourists! Holiday Homes! Stabilised Sand dunes (my personal favourite). So if we don’t immediately agree to start building the £191 million pound road (old estimate), then we are losing £1 million per month – if not per day!

This can’t go on. I wouldn’t dare to question this statistic, as it was in print and must be accurate. (By the way, assuming the costs haven’t risen from the £191 million, the new AWPR can be yours in only 16 years at £1 million per month – or twice that with PPI financing).

Let’s just start saying ‘yes’ to everything. We have a government that wants to build as much stuff as it can, and it doesn’t want the likes of us to have to worry about the details. I think they’re just trying to be helpful. To someone.

Direct Action

(mod English noun) form of protest where the protestors stage some kind of highly visible challenge to opponents, to call attention (especially media attention) to an issue or problem .

This form of protest is increasingly popular with environmental and economic activists. And it freaks the government out completely – which is totally wrong of course.

In a long-forgotten age, if your elected officials acted improperly or against the common good, you could write a letter and expect some form of answer. If you didn’t get the answer you wanted, you could stage a protest march, get petitions signed, and so on.

It’s not as if our Government is scared of protestors.

If you still had no success with your cause in the good old days, you could take to the forests and rob the rich and give to the poor, or board a ship filled with tea from England and throw its contents into Boston Harbour. Or have a revolution.

But no one ever remembers such events these days, and writing letters and starting petitions is much, well –safer. Still, it’s a bit easier to ignore a petition than the Boston Tea Party. Robin Hood is remembered as a hero, and King John the villain. Who I wonder are our future heroes and villains? Whose statues will be revered at the future Union Terrace car park and shopping mall?

It’s not as if our Government is scared of protestors. If they were, they would have (for instance) put an undercover cop like Mr Mark Kennedy in place to spy on environmental protestors for seven years. It does look like the poor policeman went ‘native’ in the end, and the courts did not think much of the police tactics used.

Such unwarranted police paranoia would never override principles of a democratic, free society. But as the Met are not prepared to discuss this matter (even though it’s been all over the newspapers), we have to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Old Susannah will introduce ‘Just Do It’ next week at the Belmont; there will be discussion afterwards as well.

‘Just Do It’ follows a group of environmental protestors as they meet their assorted targets and enemies head on. If you’re free on Friday 12 Aug at 6.30, please do come along. I have had a preview of the film, and can promise it will raise a few interesting issues. (Rumours that the sale of deer antler headbands are about to go through the roof in Aberdeen are unconfirmed).

Aberdeen Voice Art Competition – UTG Theme.

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Jul 222011

Its competition time, and on behalf of Aberdeen Voice Suzanne Kelly extends an invitation to each and every one of you to create and enter works of art with a Union Terrace Gardens theme.

It’s summer in Aberdeen; Union Terrace Gardens are filled with flowers, trees, green grass, birds, animals and people.

What better way to celebrate our unique City-Centre park than with an art competition – open to all – Young and Old, Amateur and Professional.

We’d like to see artwork coming from every age group and walk of life. The competition will be judged in categories by age group and whether or not the artist is a professional.

Send Digital Images Of Your UnionTerraceGardens Artwork

While there are many beautiful photographs taken of the park, Aberdeen Voice would like to see your artwork in other media. Paint (oil, water colour, acrylic), collage, fabric art, work on paper – anything you can make about the Gardens is what we’d like to see.

Prizes To Be Awarded – Work Will Be Shown On Aberdeen Voice

The Voice will ask local businesses to donate prizes for winners and runners-up. These will be confirmed in a future issue of the Voice. We will attempt to show all of the artwork submitted, starting in September. All you need to do is:

1. Make an artwork about Union Terrace Gardens

2. Take a digital photo of your artwork

3. Send it to competition@aberdeenvoice.com
(with your name, age, contact details, name and size of artwork, and what media it is)

4. Consider making an optional donation of £1 or more to the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens
(there is no fee to enter the competition. This is a purely optional request).

We will collect your digital images, and start displaying them in September in the Voice.

Winning Work to Be Displayed In City Centre Venue – Opening Night To Be Held

At a venue or venues still to be confirmed, winning artwork will be displayed. If your artwork wins a prize, you will have the option to have it included in a show. All you would need to do is:

1. frame it or otherwise make it ready to hang on the wall

2. deliver it to a location (to be determined)

3. decide if you want to offer it for sale: you can get all the sale profit for yourself, or we hope you would donate 50% (or more!) of the sale price to the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens

The artwork will be hung in the City Centre venues, and we will have opening events with drinks and nibbles. The length of time your art will be hung up will be determined later (not to be more than one month in any case).

After the exhibition is over, any unsold artwork would be taken to a location for you to collect.

Aberdeen Voice and the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens hope you will take advantage of this opportunity . Look out for further details in future editions of Aberdeen Voice, and from the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens’ emails.

Old Susannah No. 44 – Portraits, Papers And Parties

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Jul 152011

Old Susannah looks back at the week that was and wonders who’s up to what and why. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho! First some good news this week: In a speech to graduating students, our very own Sir Ian Wood has said ‘his generation’ is responsible for many problems that the next generation will inherit. I suppose everyone who is in the great collective of people of his age have had equal power to improve the world as this particular billionaire oil magnate has.
Never before have so few done so much to get rid of a Victorian Garden. Fifty Million pounds – of his own money –pledged to building a parking lot with a bit of grass over it, conveniently adjacent to his friend Stew’s plot of land.

Could there be any better use for that kind of money?

I wonder how much of the remainder of his fortune will be used for the current African drought/famine crisis, to counteract poverty in the UK, to improve care for the elderly, to buy jewellery for attractive statuesque blondes. I hope everyone in Ian’s generation is sitting up and taking notice. It’s your fault – one of the richest men in your age bracket says so.

However, it is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I must report that the News of the World has closed and the Murdoch takeover of BskyB is off. I have been crying over my pints of Brewdog for the last few days, so much so that people have mistakenly think I am laughing so hard I’m crying.

This must be quite a blow for Rup; at least he has his loving young wife Wendy and friend Tony Blair to comfort him (Tony and Rupert spoke quite a bit just before the UK joined in the Iraq takeover – sorry Iraq War). That nice Rebekah Brooks was photographed while being drive away from NotW HQ in a rain-spattered car; it reminded me of the photo of Maggie Thatcher tearfully leaving No. 10 – which also made me very sad indeed. Cheers!

They said he was ‘no oil painting’, but this has now been disproved.

Bad news close to home as well – one of our Labour Councillors is having a hard time over a dodgy old boiler (no, not you Kate). Councillor Hunter allegedly doesn’t have the correct credentials to fix gas boilers, which is rather unfortunate for someone who works fixing gas boilers.

The P&J had a splendid photo of Richard Baker, Labour MSP for the story it printed about Hunter. The picture of Baker’s caption had a scoop-of-the-year quote: “I know the man” Baker said. I take back everything I’d ever said about the Press & Journal now that they’ve uncovered local Labour politicians are known to each other. We should tell the authorities.

But at this rate I’ll not get on with any definitions, so here we go:

Public Spending:

(modern English phrase) Governmental use of funds to procure benefits, goods or services which may be of temporary or lasting significance, generally for the benefit of the public at large. See also Common Good fund, applicable in parts of Scotland.

There is more trouble in Paradise this week, I am sorry to say. Sadly, some people are being rather negative about our very own Lord Provost having his portrait commissioned. They said he was ‘no oil painting’, but this has now been disproved. This fantastic event will be justly commemorated with a joyous celebration, courtesy of The Common Good Fund.

What could be more reasonable? The portrait cost £9,000 (I guess we could not find any RGU graduates in need of a commission), and hopefully the Chain of Office in the painting will have been gold-leafed on by Italian craftsmen flown over for the purpose. I so look forward to attending this party!

I shall buy a new hat. I’m thinking of getting my own portrait done, and may well pop out to one of those photo canvas printing places in Union Square Mall or similar for the £39.95 photo on canvas.

After all, it’s Common Good money paying for the whole event – so I am taking this opportunity to tell everyone who pays taxes in Aberdeen to show up at the party. If the Council has any objection to us all enjoying the party we’re paying for, I invite them to get in touch with me.

From my point of view the portrait and party represent all the best of public spending: not only do we get a great party for our important citizens, but all of us will have a lasting reminder of the Lord Provost and all he has done for us. In a previous column I complained that our City Councillors no longer had the taxpayer paying for their beautiful photo Christmas cards – this expenditure more than makes up for my disappointment. I may suggest we do a statue as well; they are all the rage at present.

You would have thought with everything the LP (as his friend calls him) has done for Stewy and Ian, they would have clubbed together to pay for the bling portrait

Early rumours that a protest march will coincide with this monumental event are very disappointing.

I would hate to see marchers carrying pictures of our Lord Provost down Union Street on the day and/or holding a parallel party at some suitable venue. If I’ve been spotted buying paint, brushes and sign-making material, it is purely coincidental.

The cost of outfitting our Lord Provost and his wife for a year … £10,000

The cost of a portrait of our Lord Provost … £9,000

The cost of a party to celebrate the portrait … £4,000

The cost of a blonde woman to guard said Provost and his bling necklace … unknown

The cost of the Lord Provost casting the crucial tie-breaking vote that opened the floodgates on developing Union Terrace Gardens: PRICELESS

You would have thought with everything the LP (as his friend calls him) has done for Stewy and Ian, they would have clubbed together to pay for the bling portrait. After all, one good turn deserves another, and what are friends for?

Whistleblower:

(modern English noun) a person who is aware of public or private sector corruption, malpractice or unlawful act(s) who comes forward to expose it.

Private Eye’s current issue has an excellent work concerning NHS whistleblowers and how badly they have been treated – and how vital their whistleblowing has been. If you get the chance, please do pick it up.

Here in Aberdeen obviously there is nothing going on in government which needs any exposure. All invoices are always above board, every councillor declares their interest in advance of any relevant vote, land deals are always done to get best market value, and everything’s just rosy.

As I touched on last week, the City has written to its employees to warn them not to use ‘social networking websites’ to make any comment about their managers or the Council. Many of you have sent me copies of your letters – after all the letters are not marked ‘confidential’ – so why not? You have been wondering what is or is not appropriate to post on websites or ‘disclosing in any medium’. Here’s the Council’s sage advice from those letters (asterisks are mine):-

“to clarify what is regarded as unacceptable*, so there is no doubt about what is being referred to, would include:

“Publishing defamatory or generally unacceptable* comments, views or information about the Council, its employees, clients or customers (including school pupils) in any medium including social networking sites;

“Publishing any photographs of clients or customers in any medium including social networking sites without first obtaining formal permission;

“Breaching confidentiality by disclosing information relating to the Council in any medium, including social networking sites, to persons not authorised to possess it”.

*Old Susannah is no lawyer, but if you’re going to set out to define what’s ‘unacceptable’ and you use the word ‘unacceptable’ in your first point, you’re not doing a great job. In fact, I’d say it’s ‘unacceptable.’

Again, I’m no lawyer, but it might have been a good idea to mention in these great letters that there is legislation protecting whistleblowers. It doesn’t often protect these people as well as it should, as the Private Eye Whistleblower article points out.

However, if you know of something going on that is wrong, then you should forget all about it because you fear the City’s ‘discipline’ procedure which is mentioned later in the letters. I did not read all of the City’s whistleblower policy – but here is a taster of that policy:-

“…The policy allows individuals to voice their concerns in relation to information they believe shows serious malpractice or wrongdoing within Aberdeen City Council. It allows for this information to be disclosed internally* without fear of reprisal and independently of their line management if appropriate. The Public Interest Disclosure Act (1999) gives legal protection to individuals against being dismissed or penalised by their employers as a result of publicly* disclosing certain serious concerns.”

*Once again Old Susannah is not a lawyer, but on the one hand the City says you can disclose information internally – the act says you can publicly disclose serious concerns. Back to that Council letter :-

“…if you make comment on your employment/employer via social networking sites or by other electronic means and this is brought to the attention of management you will be held to account for those comments. Such behaviour will be viewed as contrary to the Council’s Employee Code of Conduct, which is being updated to reflect this issue and will be dealt with under the Managing Discipline procedure.”

I hope everyone who got a letter is suitably frightened.

So to clarify: in the larger world of the UK, it is acknowledged that there are times when public disclosure is allowable. Here in Aberdeen you have the right to complain internally, and if you go public with something, you will be…disciplined. I’m very glad to have cleared that up. It is just as well nothing ever goes wrong or is untoward in our city.

But if you are one of the lucky letter-holders, you might want to brush up on the Public Disclosure Act – just in case you ever find something in our City is not quite as it should be. (Call me; we’ll talk). Obviously no one would ever make an anonymous Facebook page or blog (whatever that is) and air their grievances anonymously.

Finally, just as proof there are plenty of good news stories out there, not only does the Aberdeen Voice bring them to you, but one of the Voice’s contributors has a rather nice blog.

I guess this blog thing is a ‘social network’ thingy that has the City so very worried. This ‘rxpell’ chap and I often seem to be along similar lines – he’s written things in the past just before I planned to, and has made a nice job of it. (Unfortunately he does tend to veer towards sarcasm and cynicism sometimes – which of course I cannot really approve of). The clues to the blog’s content are in the link below:
http://rxpell.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/blundergate-boilergate-briefgate-buffetgate/

Now off to buy that new outfit and hat for the portrait demonstration – sorry, I mean portrait unveiling.

Next week: probably: still no progress on FOI requests on land deals or deer. Hopefully: Aberdeen Voice art competition announcement. Definitely: more definitions

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