Sep 192013
 

refereetallBy Bob Smith.

Ian Black yon fitba player
Some siller he’s bin layin
On results o fitba matches
Far his ain team hid bin playin

A measly ban an paltry fine
Wis aa the buggar got
Wis iss less than aa the dosh
Efter coontin up the tot?

Wullie Woodburn in nineteen fifty fower
Wis fae the gemme suspendit sine die
Fer heid buttin a Stirling Albion player
Faa kick’t Wullie twixt unkle an thigh

The ban on Wullie Woodburn
T’wis lifted efter three ‘ears
Tam Finney the English international
Wis amang fowk faa raised three cheers

So fit’s the worse offence fowks
A heid butt or an illegal bet?
Baith are brakkin aa the rules
Yet different bans they get

Eence mair the SFA fell doon
On applyin the law’s full blast
A langer ban fer Ian Black
Wid show the die’s bin cast

Ally o the new Gers claims
Lots o players hae a flutter
So gie the names tae the SFA
In case ere’s ither nutters

The fitba gemmes in sic a state
Surely integrity it still maitters
Come on ye SFA heid billies
Staun up agin thae betters

© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Oct 292012
 

After it ended a goal apiece at Tannadice last weekend, I dare say it was assumed by a fair number of Dons fans that a thrashing of United’s ‘inferior’ neighbours was imminent. However, the Dens Park side have avoided Pittodrie defeat since October 1993, when Dons legend Duncan Shearer scored the winner. Perhaps a home victory was not so inevitable after all? Andrew Watson reports.

Aberdeen were quick off the mark, and a rampant Fraser was displaying a forward-thinking bloodlust not seen in an Aberdeen attack for a long time.

Vernon seemingly had the cheek to criticise the wee man’s delivery after fluffing an excellent chance to put his side ahead early on.

The opening goal, when it came, was partly thanks to a deliberate fluff by Vernon.

After receiving, again from Fraser, the Englishman dummied the ball and allowed Irishman Niall McGinn to fire the ball into the roof of the net. Heard the one about the Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman?

1-0, after fourteen minutes. Ha ha ha!

Jokes aside, this really should have been a demolition job in the first half. Chance after chance came, and Dundee were lucky to hold on to even the remotest of chances of staying in the game. It should have been well out of reach for them by the break, with an ebullient Aberdeen, prey in sight, knocking the ball into their opponent’s box for fun.

Come the second half, there appeared to be a change of tack by Dundee. They were determined, disciplined and even began to get behind the Dons defence for the first time. Admittedly, Aberdeen were the better side, though it couldn’t quite yet be taken for granted that a victory would come their way.

Then a rather peculiar thing happened. An absolutely awful free kick by substitute Jonny Hayes, on for Clark after 65 minutes, unlocked a dithering Dundee defence at the 74 minute mark. A low shot, hit with little power, ended up in the back of the net. Without exactly setting the heather alight, Hayes proved his worth and raised realistic hopes of a comfortable home victory.

2-0.

Not much of note to report after that. A perfectly legitimate consolation goal for Dundee, which was disallowed, was about it, to be honest.

Final score: 2-0.

There appear to be murmurs of a title challenge for Celtic, in the form of this current Aberdeen side. Undoubtedly they have one of the stronger squads outside Parkhead, if not the strongest.

With St. Mirren in the League Cup quarter finals on Tuesday night, chances of some silverware seem higher than usual. No Aberdeen fan wants to jinx perfectly realistic ambitions, though most surely salivate at the thought of reaching at least one semi-final this season.

Wait, scrap that. Make that one final this season. Maybe they’ll be drawn against ‘Rangers’ at some point, too. A victory at Ibrox, a cup paraded on an open-top bus down Union Street…

Second place in the league. Really?

When you’ve got a good thing going, perhaps being too ambitious is a recipe for disaster. Modesty, never underestimating your opponent, and application are key!

Sep 232012
 

After a long build-up, vitriolic postings on FaceBook, and a call to the media to attend a protest by hundreds of people, a group of approximately 70-80 stood outside Marischal College today for three quarters of an hour.  Aberdeen Voice’s Suzanne Kelly attended.

Background: Aberdeen has been split over a controversial plan to build a £140 million pound series of arches over Union Terrace Gardens called ‘the granite web’.
The city is far from financially sound, and would need to borrow some £70 million minimum to build the scheme, which would also see the felling of ancient trees – some of the few trees in the city centre.

Those against the scheme point out the city has vast areas of disused brownfield, some of which are becoming arson hotspots which could be the site of any futuristic architectural projects.

The web’s opposition also cite that simple improvements to the gardens are affordable and would be sympathetic to the existing area, and that money should be spent on other projects and restoring services cut under the previous LibDem/SNP coalition.

Proponents of the granite web cite projections made by PriceWaterhouse Coopers, which was paid some £44,000 pounds to create projections for the scheme and research the TIF scheme by scheme supporting agency, ACSEF.  These projected benefits included 6,500 permanent new jobs and no cost to the taxpayer.

It has been shown the taxpayer has already picked up a substantial tab for furthering this project (see https://aberdeenvoice.com/2012/02/the-great-city-gardens-project-gravy-train/ ).

An advisory referendum was held; the Labour Party stated from the start it would not be bound by this referendum, which saw the pro-web side narrowly win.
Various issues arose with the referendum, and an anonymous group placed hundreds of radio adverts via the BiG Partnership which were found in breach of code by OFCOM.

PwC refused to say whether or not the ads’ use of its projections as fact was appropriate, as a ‘private company’ (actually  the PwC invoices are made out to Scottish Enterprise) had commissioned the work (which the taxpayer paid for).

Labour’s election pledges included stopping the granite web, and Labour wound up with a majority in the council at last May’s elections.

The Protest:  A Whimper not a Bang
The organisers included Chad West-MacGregor (who resides in the USA according to his FaceBook page, but who now says he will stay in Aberdeen); they had told the assembled media before the event that hundreds would be in attendance.

A video of the speech can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u57XTEus84

This proved optimistic in the extreme.  The weather was dry and sunny; the date selected was apparently the most convenient date for those who wanted to attend, even if there would be no one in the City Council’s Marischal College to protest to.

This lack of relevant audience did not bother the organisers, who posted on their FaceBook page:-

“Providing hundreds of us make an effort to attend, we will have several media photographers and journalist’s [sic] there to show the entire country that we were there and we were loud. Barney’s back hair will be sticking up when he opens the front page of the EE or the P&J and sees his council building swamped with protesters.”

STV reported:-

“More than 400 people had said they would attend the event on Saturday outside Marischal College to vent their fury at the decision to axe the plans to transform Union Terrace Gardens.  In reality, it was probably only around 60 people who turned up to the demonstration but the organisers felt the small band of protesters made their point.”
http://local.stv.tv/aberdeen/news/local-democracy/191410-city-garden-project-supporters-hold-demonstration-outside-councils-hq/

Organisers have made different representations as to the number of protestors; the FaceBook page linked to the protest has posts from organisers saying there were less than 100 present, but a different post says the organisers had more than 100.

This Aberdeen Voice reporter and her friend were present and counted approximately 70-80 people (more than STV counted) – but there was some fluctuation as people left.  There were about ten media professionals covering the event – 1 for every 8 protestors by my account, or 1 for every 6 by STV’s figures.

The two higher-profile attendees were former councillor Kate Dean and Aileen Malone.  Dean held a Cove Bay Supporters Club banner and wore leggings and the club’s shirt.

Aileen Malone’s presence was something of an oddity. The protest was against the council she is elected to, and she had made it plain that the remaining five Liberal Democrats on the council were not subject to a party whip when the vote on the granite web was held.  Precisely why she felt the need to protest against her own party members – who did not all vote for continuing with the granite web – is a mystery.

The Facebook Pages
A page using Barney Crockett’s photo to represent the organiser (for some odd reason), and an ‘event’ page were launched.  The FaceBook pages caused controversy with a wide range of offensive posts.

After one person, ‘Sasha Molyneux’ mocked someone who had been abused as a child, one person who planned to go on the protest said he now would not.  This person was then attacked for being ‘an anarchist plant’ by Molyneux.

Many posters asked the web pages’ administrator(s) to step in and stop the abuse, but the posts are still there (as at 17:30 22 September 2012).

The web ironically was supposed to attract talent from outwith Aberdeen.  Non-Aberdonians and Aberdonians alike were put off by more posts from Molyneux, who wrote:

“Isn’t it strange that inabootcomers like Suzanne Kelly from New York USA (got a current Visa I hope), Alasdair Johnston from Ayrshire, Richard Baker from Edinburgh, Lewis MacDonald from Lewis via Insch, Willie Young from Stonehaven (we’ll let him off with that) and countless other dissidents seem to think they know what’s best for Aberdeen and it’s [sic] citizens. All the while there are others who can trace their ancestory [sic] back hundreds of years to people who have hewn the very rock from the ground that Aberdeen is built from, taught in the schools that were built with that rock, employed generations in factories run by local entrepenuers [sic] and generally built this city from the ground up and afforded others a lifestyle that they enjoy today. The abuse and disrespect coming from the above mentioned individuals is absolutely disgusting and an extreme isult [sic] to our history and heritage and really if they are not happy they should go elsewhere and learn some decorum and basic manners.”

Most of those mentioned above had not even posted on this page.  Brian Scott then countered with:-

“I can hardly believe my eyes. Has some one actually posted a comment about incomers not having a right to have their say on issues because they cannot trace their roots to Aberdeen despite them setting up home here? Isn’t that racist and reminiscent of a certain political party that takes their mandate from a 1930’s movement originated in central Europe?”

Voice’s Suzanne Kelly quoted Sasha’s earlier anti-incomer post (above) and Sasha replied:-

“I know what I said and i’m glad it is on record because it is the truth. As Annie Lennox once said a North East of Scotland upbringing puts a rod of iron in your soul so just remember that. Your Bully Boy tactics and general disrespect for the people in general don’t go down too well with the people up here and if you think you are being smart and clever just consider this we are a pretty stoical bunch up here and we will break you in the long run.”

 The subjects brought up by pro web factions also included one man’s assertion that the English Defence League is a “peace loving group”, and its leader ‘inspirational’.

There was heated debate back and forth between the two camps, but the radical extremist posts of Molyneux and others from the pro web side were considered by many to be highly inflammatory and seem to constitute what is called ‘trolling.’

It is clear that these extremists do not represent the views of all of the pro granite web faction, but it is clear that the FaceBook page administrators, the organisers of this event, gave tacit support to these posts by allowing them to remain and by not banning the posters.

The organisers seem to indicate they will hold more such events.  Aberdeen Voice will keep you posted of any further developments.

Jul 202012
 

By Bob Smith.

The SFA are fair in the mire
Aa their efforts micht nae transpire
Tae keep the Rangers fae crashin doon
An playin the likes o the fine “Blue toon”

SFL clubs said on yer bike
We’ve nivver ivver seen the like
 Construction o leagues wis yer thocht
Bit us chiels can nae bi bocht

Bigger leagues we micht wint tae see
Bit at a time fin the vote’s mair free
An nae presentin like a bliddy bribe
Tae save the Licht Bues an their tribe

Some SPL clubs noo are wailin
Are feart aboot financial failin
Efter SFL clubs ca’ed their bluff
Een or twa hiv teen the huff

The SFA are a bunch o wallies
Wi the SPL are great pallies
Fans care a lot aboot fair play
An think the SFA ken SFA

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Jul 092012
 

A group of Aberdeen FC Fans have launched a new initiative to reward clubs and prominent figures in Scottish football who have called for sporting integrity to be upheld in the face of mounting pressure from the sport’s governing bodies for an unsavoury compromise.  Fred Wilkinson writes.

Aberdeen Fans For Sporting Integrity snowballed rapidly, sparked by a suggestion posted on the Aberdeen-Mad fans message board by forum regular Joe Whimster on Wednesday 4th July.

This followed the announcement earlier in the day that Scottish Premier League clubs had voted overwhelmingly not to admit Charles Green’s Newco to the top flight.

Joe’s proposal was initially to raise £200 to be offered as a gift to Raith Rovers in acknowledgement of their club chairman Turnbull Hutton’s firm public stance against allowing Newco to ‘parachute’ into the First Division.

This figure was to be gifted in the form of sponsorship towards the cost of a player’s strip over the coming season.

It was envisaged that any spin off from the gesture, in addition to fostering goodwill, might stretch to acknowledgement of the group’s support in the Raith Rovers match programme, and a donation to charity.

However, within a mere 36 hours of the group deciding on a name, more than 70 fans had pledged their support and over £750 collected, prompting calls to acknowledge other SFL clubs which have resolved publicly to champion sporting integrity above self interest. At the time of writing, more than £1200 has been collected.

Joe told Aberdeen Voice:

“We have confirmed with Raith that we’ll sponsor their mascot.  I got an email yesterday from Roary Rover himself (well, the guy in the costume) thanking us and praising our position. 

“They have been overwhelmed with the support received from fans across the SPL, specifically Aberdeen fans and it seems they have picked up a considerable financial boost from various contributions.

 “We have also confirmed with Clyde that we will cover a home and away top at a cost of £150

“I was hugely impressed by the communication from Clyde. They are extremely grateful of the support we’ve shown. I am still waiting to hear back from other clubs”

At a time where Scottish football fans in general, Aberdeen fans more than most, have been accused of being driven by ‘hatred’ and ‘bloodlust’ towards Rangers, it is refreshing to see such a positive initiative associated with Aberdeen FC take shape with such momentum and decisiveness, engendering friendship and respect between clubs and boosting charity into the bargain.

As Joe explains:

“I think any remaining funds at the end of our endeavours should go to
the anti-bullying charity, Beat Bullying”
http://www.beatbullying.org/.

“I have also asked Aberdeen FC for information with regards to any community based projects that are currently in need of funds

“As it stands then, we have a balance of £850.  Some of that will certainly go towards sponsorship packages at other clubs but it will already leave a healthy balance for a Beat Bullying donation.”

It is hoped that the clubs which are offered support in recognition of their sense of fair play will return the gesture by highlighting Beat Bullying or donating items to be raffled in favour of the charity.

  • See links below for more information on Aberdeen Fans For Sporting Integrity and how you can contribute.

Blog –  http://aberdeenfansforsportingintegrity.blogspot.co.uk/
Email – aberdeenfans4sportingintegrity@gmail.com.

  • Comments enabled. Note All comments will be moderated.
Jun 252012
 

It has been a turbulent week in Scottish football, not least for our own Aberdeen FC, with the passing of club legend Teddy Scott, and the departure of five board members including another club legend and former captain Willie Miller. Secretary of the AFC Former Players Association and the AFC Heritage Trust, Chris Gavin, one of the five to depart, shares his thoughts with Voice readers.

“Leaving the Aberdeen boardroom has me filled with mixed emotions. It is a huge wrench because I’m stepping down from close involvement at the very top of the club I love. 

“At the same time it will be quite nice to step out of the direct firing line for a while. 

“To outside observers the five departures from the Pittodrie board will seem to smack of the “Night of the Long Knives” but in fact it is simply the coming together of a number of events and the sole intention is to reinvigorate and strengthen the top echelons of the club.

“There was no bust-up over the Rangers Newco, nor any other dispute on the hurly-burly of Scottish football, and we must look on the change as an opportunity to be grabbed with enthusiasm.

“I can only really speak about my own departure and can tell Voice readers that it was in the works for quite some time. Indeed, my original intention had only been to stay on the board for three years, but the call of the Dons is strong and I was not inclined to step away from the constant struggle to build a stronger club, hence a tenure of almost eleven years.

“Having said that, there is always a right time to make changes and when the subject finally came up in earnest I was very comfortable with it, and having spoken with remaining directors I have stood down confident that we will see Aberdeen FC pushing on and with courage, fortitude and humour, pushing back up to the top levels of the game.

“This ex-director will remain closely involved with helping the club, most importantly helping to keep the influential Supporters’ Forum going and ensuring that the recently-revived road shows continue at a good pace. I am also secretary of the AFC Former Players Association and the AFC Heritage Trust so there is plenty to do and there is always something new to deal with.

“Today came the sad news of the passing of Teddy Scott who, for me, was AFC royalty, and the storm of messages coming and going from the club as so many of us began to come to terms with his loss. We must ensure that we do right by his fantastic career and the influence that he had on so many of us, players and fans alike”.

  •  Comments enabled – see box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
May 242012
 

By Bob Smith.

Some fowk doon Govan wye
Wi sad facies hiv bin seen
Fair dumfoonert aboot the news
Gers saved bi a mannie GREEN
.
Noo things cwid hae bin affa worse
An fair added ti Blue Noses plight
If Charles G an Craig W jined forces
Gers wid be ained  by Green an Whyte
.
The hail thing his noo becum
Jist like a  Brian Rix farce
They micht lan in liquidation
Sic a richt kick up the arse.
.
Seems Trumpie he wis sniffin aboot
Myn his auld mither cam fae Tong
Bit “The Donald” seen skedaddled
Fin Gers finances gid aff a pong
.
He widna hae hid windfairms
Doon the wye o Copeland Road
An he cwid hae biggit a big hoosie
On Murray Park as his new abode
Wull the SPL becum a coordly bunch
If  a New Co rises fae the mire
An vote ti keep the “licht blues” in
Lichtin Scottish Fitba’s funeral pyre
.
Fan’s wull think iss is the eyn
O sportin integrity in the game
A helluva lot hiv noo threatened
Ti bide awa an stey at hame
.
A final thocht as ti new ainers
Gers fans wid lose aa hope
If een o the fowk in the consortium
Wis the video film mannie Tim Pope
.
We maan tho hae some peety
Decent Gers fans fin it nae funny
A fyow eers they’ve bin supportin
A team wi nae bliddy money
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

.
Image Credit © Copyright G Laird and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence

May 242012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah comments on current events and enlightens us with definitions of some tricky terms with a locally topical taste. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho!  What was that great seismic shake, that sonic boom that was felt all up and down the coast this week?   The police were flooded with calls, so I’m sure the matter is all in hand and the usual suspects have been rounded up (I have an alibi, by the way).

I suspect it must be something to do either with wind farms, unsold copies of the P&J falling off a container ship, construction at the World’s Greatest Golf course, or a stampede of people leaving the Liberal Democrats.  Your theories are welcome.

And welcome to the Age of Austerity.

We’ve done the Stone Age (Isn’t that right Mr Wood – you might remember it, or am I thinking of the Granite Age?).  We’ve done Bronze, Iron and even a Golden Age (a mythical time when reason and the arts as well as science and exploration flourished).  Most recently we’ve had an Information Age (if not much of a ‘Freedom of Information’ Age as we’d been promised).  But here we are, ‘all of us in this together’, you know – it’s the Age of Austerity.

Our local millionaires are starting to feel the pinch, which is unacceptable.  It’s getting so a man can’t build houses on any greenbelt field he wants or even run a football club without people butting in, looking for tax.  It’s clearly getting harder for the Vodaphones and Oil barons to shelter money offshore in tax havens.

In yet more startling economic developments, Aberdeen Football Fans are threatening a boycott!

This is over whether or not Mr Milne acts a particular way over the fallen Rangers FC.  I would hate to think of the economic consequences of an AFC boycott – the stand might start looking a bit empty during games.  Let’s hope this never happens.  Could the remaining 31 fans keep buying tickets?  Many thanks – the economy depends on you!

But there is even more hope.  We have the talent and skills right here in Aberdeen to weather this storm.  It is just as well we can call on taxpayer-funded, unelected ACSEF and Scottish Enterprise to continue coming up with money-spinning schemes.

It’s taken years for our local business organisations and lobbyists to get Aberdeen to the shape it’s in today – another few years of more of the same is what we all want, I’m sure.  That and a granite web.

If we’re still paying Scottish Enterprise a mere £750 million per year to protect us (with a third of that going on their wages), perhaps we should have a whip-round and get them some more money?  Just a thought.

  I’m going to write to my MEP (whoever that is), and suggest they call in ACSEF

How exactly did we go from having a thriving Scotland to our current dismal position?  Old Susannah takes a look and makes some recommendations.

So  tighten those belts, re-use those tea bags, and settle down for some Austerity definitions.

European Union: (proper noun; English) the economic and social union of several European countries for the purpose of economic security, creation of a politically stable Europe, creation of a powerful economic entity, and for the guarantee of human rights.

You would have thought with the UK paying millions to the EU, (which still hasn’t managed to submit a set of independently audited accounts) we’d be nearly as successful financially as the economies of Greece, Spain and Italy.  I say give it a few more years and we will be.

Sadly, while the EU has given us peace throughout Europe, equality and human rights, it’s possibly not doing as well with the economy of Europe as it might.  In fact, I’m going to write to my MEP (whoever that is), and suggest they call in ACSEF.  ACSEF could no doubt fix whatever’s wrong with Europe.

If we just build a giant granite web linking Greece to Italy to Spain to Aberdeen, just think of the jobs creation and tourism that would mean!

Old Susannah recommends:  staying in the EU, scrapping the pound for the Euro (or maybe bring back the Greek drachma), giving more money to Greece and Italy, who have used their agricultural subsidies so well over the past decade that no one even knows how much they got or where the money went.

Special Kitty: (compound  noun) A fund set up for a certain purpose into which a variety of people or groups contribute.

Well, here comes the City Garden Project to help lift us out of austerity, raise our spirits, and raise the Denburn Valley to shopping mall street level.  Hooray!  The Evening Express tells us that no less a financial supremo than Colin Crosby says a special kitty is to be set up!  Wow!

I have two special kitties; they are Molly and Sasha, which I adopted from Cats Protection.  However Mr Crosby’s special kitty will find at least £15 million of the £140 million needed to bring us all the web of our dreams.

You know, it’s really surprising how easy it is to find some spare cash when you really need it.  If you’re not able to come up with £15 million in a pinch, then you probably deserve any austerity you’re experiencing.  I got about £0.37 from the back of my sofa, and expect there must be a spare million or two round the flat somewhere, perhaps in an old suit jacket.  I’ll keep looking.

In the meantime, Mr Crosby alludes to yet another great financial idea in the Evening Express story we all enjoyed reading.  And that is…

Endowment Fund: (compound noun; mod English) An endowment policy is a life insurance contract which would pay a lump sum after a specified period of time  – when it matures – or on death, or possibly on critical illness.

To make it even simpler, there are (according to Wikipedia) 1 Traditional With Profits Endowments , 2 Unit-linked endowment , 3 Full endowments , 4 Low cost endowment (LCE)5 Traded endowments 6 Modified endowments (U.S.).

Yes, the latest plan is to set up an endowment.  Clearly this is a great idea, as so many home-buyers who used this great scheme can tell you.  As well as the special kitty, we’re going to somehow take out an endowment.

Exactly how this will help build the granite dream of Mr Wood is abundantly clear, I’m sure. but if the scheme dies a death who gets the money? Who will fund this endowment?  Who will own the fund?  Who will manage it?

  I hear that a PR company exec is considering even more exciting funding schemes

All these are mere trivialities on the way to our economic recovery, so don’t worry about it.  If we needed to know, Colin Crosby would have told us in the Evening Express.

This endowment and special kitty are news and were worthy of a story in the Evening Express.

The City Garden Project plan has been kicking around for years, but this is news after all.  You see, the Wonder Web will cost a minimum of £140 million, and needs a £92 loan taken out by the taxpayer and yet is still short £15 million.  This is in no way related to the £15 million that we’ve been talking about for the past year and a bit – it’s a different, newsworthy £15 million.

But back to the endowment business and the Evening Express piece:

“The cash would be on top of £15 million of private money to be used to help bridge the £140 million project’s funding gap.  Colin Crosby, a director of Aberdeen City Gardens Trust, said: “Early indications reveal that the additional £15m donations will be forthcoming.” By creating an endowment fund, we will be securing the project’s long-term sustainability and ability to develop cultural programmes.”

Well, that’s good enough for me.  I am sure it’s as illuminating a piece of news and financial wizardry as we could have hoped for.

I hear that a PR company exec is considering even more exciting funding schemes..  I can only hope there is an opportunity to donate a few thousand and get your name carved in granite, or have a tree turned into mulch for a ton.  If not, I know a few graffiti artists who would paint your name on the web for a small fee.

Old Susannah recommends:  importing granite for the web from the third world, taking out an insured, index-linked modified endowment with Jennifer Claw as beneficiary, with Bling Crosby as administrator and executor, funding it via an increase in business rates amortised over time offset by a loan taken as an advance on the £122,000,000 which the web will bring to the local economy every year until 2023.

And that, as they say, is that.  Job done.

Next week:  A look at the A to Z of Aberdeen City Council.

PS:  To Dame Anne – I hope you’re on the mend!

PPS: Summer is here:  austerity or not, don’t scrimp on sunscreen, especially for your children.
Always get a nice high protection number for children, and at the start of the season for adults.  Reapply it every few hours – even if you are only going to be outside for quarter of an hour, you can still be damaged.  Old Susannah has already seen two crying toddlers who have been sunburnt, with baffled parents who had no idea why their child was upset.
Children burn far faster than we do and need lots of sunscreen all over, especially their faces (mind the eyes!!!).  The only reason I’m not more of  a wrinkled, grizzled old hag than I am is because of sunscreen.   And probably BrewDog.   To the man I saw in a beer garden who had turned beetroot red – no, you didn’t look tanned, you looked burnt (and I bet it hurt a lot when you were less lubricated).
If you want to look tanned, get there gradually (or get a spray job – it’s safer – but avoid the tango orange colour).  But if you want wrinkles, rashes, and potential skin cancer, then carry on without sunscreen. And another thing – if you are going to drag your dog all over town and/or the pub, please make sure it gets loads of water to drink frequently.  For the one or two dog owners every year who forget – don’t leave your dog alone in a car.  At all.  Ever.  That’s the official word from animal charities. Forget a dog for even a tiny amount of time in a hot, sealed car (because you’ve run into your pal, are trying on clothes in some exciting shopping mall, whatever) – and you’ve killed it. They don’t sweat.  Water won’t help – only cool.  Another reason for not leaving your dog in a car include the massive increase in pet thefts.  Sadly, most people who steal animals are not going to treat them well.  Thanks for paying attention to this stuff – it isn’t as important or as exciting, vibrant or dynamic as ACSEF – but it is important nonetheless.
Mar 152012
 

For the third time in less than a year, Dons fans and players of a certain age will be wearing mourning clothes, literally or figuratively. David Innes reminisces on Jens Petersen, a man whose dedication to the Dons in the 1960s makes him truly worthy of legendary status among Reds followers.

It was with heavy hearts that we learned of the death of Jens Petersen, a stalwart servant of the mid and late 1960s whose brave battle against death ended in noble defeat on 8 March 2012.

This follows far too closely the deaths of Eddie Turnbull in April 2011 and Francis Munro in August last year.

Another one of the Reds family has gone, and it hurts.

For the many friends Jens made during his time at Pittodrie, the hurt is because they knew him, they appreciated his determination to succeed and the inspiring leadership that he offered, but most of all, the lasting friendship that they formed with someone who is unanimously regarded as one of the genuine good guys.

Among the fans who remember Jens, it hurts because we too have lost someone we looked up to, someone who played the game in its proper spirit and a man who took delight in meeting fans, taking an interest in them and making them feel that they, as much as the players, were all part of the same whole.

We have lost a hero.

Jens arrived in Aberdeen with fellow Danes, Jorgen Ravn and Leif Mortensen, all signed by Tommy Pearson in 1965, when Scottish clubs realised that Scandinavia was a new hunting ground for players of good quality who fitted into the Scottish style of play. Whilst Ravn and Mortensen left Pittodrie after a short while, Eddie Turnbull spotted that Jens had something special that would fit with the Turnbull football vision and not only kept him on at Pittodrie, but made him a key member of the first team.

In 1966, the jewel in the Reds’ crown was Dave Smith. His performances in midfield and in the curious “sweeper” role that Eddie Turnbull introduced meant that he was an attraction for bigger, more predatory teams. I recall, to a background of Yellow Submarine, the news coming through in August 1966 that our star had signed for Rangers and that the Dons were £45000 better off.

The money was unimportant; we had lost our most influential player. How, the devastated 9 year old me worried, could we go on without Dave Smith? Eddie Turnbull had a cunning plan: Jens Petersen.

What the Boss had seen in Jens was someone who could naturally play the role that Smith had made his own, a man possessed of an unflappable temperament, comfortable with the ball at his feet in defence or midfield, an athlete, excellent in the air and with an ability to break from defence with the ball, striking panic into the opposition, a sight to behold.

US sports fans were amazed that the players did not wear body armour

The statistics tell us that Jens Petersen made 203 appearances for Aberdeen and scored 11 goals.

These are merely numbers. Influence and dynamism cannot be enumerated.

It’s a long time ago, but I can still remember his late spectacular goal against Morton to put us into the League Cup semi-final in 1966, my uncle’s surprised comment, “Look, the Dane’s wearin’ san’sheen”, when Jens decided that a frosty pitch later that season needed alternative footwear, and his ill-luck in the 1967 Cup final where his shot into an open goal was miraculously saved by Celtic’s Ronnie Simpson’s sliding clearance from the goal line.

When Jens left the Dons in 1970, his number 6 shirt was bequeathed to Martin Buchan. That illustrates the level of talent at which he operated.

My own contact with Jens was limited to a couple of phone conversations about the 1967 Washington Whips. Chalky Whyte gave me Jens’s number and encouraged me to call him in Denmark. He answered in Danish. I said, “Hello, I’ve been given your number by Jim Whyte”. Jens’s response (and that of his wife Dora when I called on another occasion) was that he was delighted to speak to me, but before he spoke about the USA in 1967, how were his friends at Pittodrie?

My lasting memory of the discussion was that he was asked by a US interviewer, “Petersen, have you ever burst a ball with your head?” and that US sports fans were amazed that the players did not wear body armour. His English, and Dora’s, was better than mine and he was a joy to interview.

Chalky, Ally Shewan and Ian Taylor have often spoken to me about the friendship they maintained with their great pal Jens and their memories and anecdotes will help ease some of the hurt that these guys and their colleagues are feeling.

Jens was only just 70 when he died, which is no age at all these days, and he was an outstanding athlete, still running marathons into his 60s.

The Northern Lights are significantly dimmer with his departure.

Image Credit: Aberdeen Voice is grateful to Aberdeen Football Club for use of Photographs.