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Old Susannah No. 86 – Fun And Olympic Games

Jul 202012

Aberdeen Voice’s Old Susannah can barely contain her excitement over the imminent Olympics, and reviews the week’s past local events. By Suzanne Kelly.

Yet another exciting week in the Granite City has just passed. I had a great weekend with Anthony Baxter, the Milnes, Susan Munro, photographer Alicia Bruce and more at the Belmont on Saturday.

Baxter’s award-winning documentary, You’ve Been Trumped has returned, and at the Saturday evening show Menie residents and director Baxter did a lengthy Q&A session. I enjoyed the additional footage on the windfarm controversy and other updates. The film still makes me angry, it must be said.

Oddly the residents have a completely different take on what is going on at the estate than the Shire’s Clerk of Works – I wonder why?

If you’ve seen the film you will remember shots of trees being buried in a giant excavation. The Clerk wrote to me months back and advised that this hadn’t happened. So there. I sat next to David Milne during the screening; we are both amazed at the unprecedented way this documentary is doing the rounds. Next stops are New York and LA.

Don’t bother looking for any news of You’ve Been Trumped’s return or its many awards in the local press: you will be searching in vain. If however you want a nice picture or two of Ivanka Trump, you’ll be well rewarded. We are all as good as rolling in money and new jobs now, I’m sure.

Sunday was a great day to visit Willows; Sandi Thom performed a lovely acoustic set in a barn packed with peacocks, peahens, cats and people of all ages. I like her voice, I hadn’t appreciated her guitar skills until I saw her play. You can’t fake it unplugged with an acoustic guitar. Even the animals were attentive. The Willows is a wonderful place to visit – and a great place to support.

Later in the week Old Susannah and Aberdeen Voice editor Fred met with some legal consultants. Do watch this space, particularly if you’ve ever had doubts about the legality of some of the previous Aberdeen City administration’s decisions. I even had a nice long chat with a councillor or two about some of the issues of the day. There may be some developments coming in the near future.

Tomorrow there is an event in Union Terrace Gardens. In the words of Dorothy from Common Good Aberdeen:

“There is to be a very interesting and moving event taking place in Union Terrace Gardens this Saturday, 21st July 2012 at 2 p.m. T.A.C.T. Bereavement Support are to hold their service of remembrance for loved ones, with a Book of Remembrance being opened. Quiet observation and reflection would be the order of the day, and what better place to have it. Common Good Aberdeen will be there to support in the form of helping with the afternoon tea.”

Hope to see you there.

Despite all the running around and events, I’m managing to stick to the diet programme I’ve been put on by Temple Aesthetics. It is called the Alizonne diet, it seems to be working a treat, and I do get a variety of flavours in the meals I eat on this plan.

The problem is, my visits to BrewDog are out for now (unless I go there and drink water and coffee – and with the best willpower in the world, I’m not sure I could do that just yet). Still, I’ve lost 5½ pounds in the first week. I hope to be back to normal eating habits soon. And normal drinking habits too.

This week I have to admit that I got a bit jealous of the lucky few who attended the opening of Trump’s golf course at Menie. I’ve had a look at the goody bag they took away.

Wow. Not only did I miss out on the free toothpaste (I think that’s what I saw) and golf goodies – but I have to do without an embroidered baseball cap as well. Shucks. It was clear that this collection of goods was put together by an imaginative billionaire with the highest standards of class and taste.

Even though I didn’t get an invitation or a bag myself (I wonder why?) I will still try and get ‘Trump’ baseball caps for Anthony Baxter and the Menie estate residents; I’m sure that will make everything seem better.

But let’s move on with some definitions.

Miscalculate: (verb, Eng.) to incorrectly estimate a quantity or a situation; to fail to appreciate all relevant variables when making decisions.

For all those Olympic fans out there (I presume there are some, even though there is evidence coming in to the contrary), it seems that a few little errors of judgement may have been made. These involve the demand for tickets, and the all-important security arrangements.

Firstly, despite our Prime Minister pleading with us to agree that the games are great for the UK (he doesn’t want us to call them the ‘soggy’ Olympics, we should think of these as the Great Olympics; do make sure you think accordingly), not all of us seem to be keen on the games. The football matches, which we have all dreamt of for years, are not exactly selling tickets quite as quickly as expected.

This minor miscalculation means that sales have been overestimated by around half a million tickets, depending on who you talk to. The BBC has this to say on its website:-

“Organisers said there had been around one million football tickets left but these have been cut in half by reducing capacity at stadiums. A spokesman for Locog said: “We are planning to reduce capacity across the venues by up to 500,000 tickets across the tournament This will involve possibly not using a tier, or an area of a ground, in some of the venues.”

I hear they might want to hold one of the games in my back garden to cut costs. Old Susannah is no economist of course, but if there are one million football tickets left unsold from an event that was supposed to make tons of money, does that mean we might not make quite as much money as we thought? Even if the tickets were £1 each (they were not), that is one million pounds less than expected.

G4S, has said that it ‘regrets’ taking on this contract. I’m sure they do.

But I don’t want to be negative. I guess people are skipping football tickets in favour of the more important, exciting events, like women’s 10k three legged race or the men’s McDonald’s hamburger eating contest.

I am sure the sponsors won’t mind a little bit that a few million people less than expected will be there to look at their logos and be impressed at sponsorship for the events.

The other wee bit of miscalculation seems to involve how many security personnel would be needed. After all, we have to make sure that no one is allowed to bring in their own food and drink to the stadium village; the sponsors would be up in arms, and sponsorship is what the games are all about.

It seems that the firm that won the security contract have got their sums wrong, and every able-bodied police person in the UK is being told that they must go down to London to help out.

Don’t worry about the crime issues locally or the cost to the taxpayer: Cameron has already explained that the Age of Austerity will last until 2020. If we have to stump up a few million pounds in police overtime, and the rest of the UK is hit with crime waves, it’s a small price to pay for finding out who is the best 50 yard dash runner in the world.

The firm which altruistically won the work for Olympic Security, G4S, has said that it ‘regrets’ taking on this contract. I’m sure they do. Having only secured a contract worth an estimated £57 million or more, depending on who’s doing the calculations, or miscalculations, they can hardly be blamed for small hiccoughs.

They might not have hired enough people, not arranged sufficient training or obtained uniforms, offered salaries below industry standards, but they couldn’t have been cutting any corners for reasons of profit. After all £57 million doesn’t go nearly as far as it used to; it would barely get you half of a Granite Web.

The Home Office, which usually gets everything perfect, has also fallen a bit flat. They had no way of knowing that lots of people from around the world would be coming to compete in London. If the occasional terrorist suspect has got through the Border Agency without a hitch, I guess that’s fair enough. I will try and remember that the next time I see a granny or a little child being body searched at the airport.

Tom Smith says economist Mackay just doesn’t understand economics. Good enough for me.

These little miscalculations demonstrate that this kind of thing can happen to anyone. Except that it will not happen with the Granite Web. We don’t exactly know what’s proposed to go in the gardens. We don’t have any working drawings available to the public showing how the ramps over the gardens will be safe, but they will of course have to be enclosed, barbed wire being a cost-effective solution.

We don’t know what the negative impacts will be on the existing city centre businesses, as the streets are clogged with construction vehicles and construction dust, if the thing is allowed to go ahead. If only there were some other Scottish city that had started an open-ended civic project using many layers of public/private companies, then we could get a handle on the potential problems. But I can’t think of a single example.

Failing that, we must rely on PriceWaterhouseCooper’s projections of 6,000 totally new jobs appearing and £122 million pouring into the city every year until 2023. It all sounds so precise, doesn’t it? Of course there was some economist named Mackay, but Tom Smith says economist Mackay just doesn’t understand economics. Good enough for me.

So, since the economy is in such great shape, this is a great time to take an Olympic-sized leap of faith, get rid of the city’s only lungs, the UTG trees, clog the streets with construction vehicles – and of course borrow £92 million to pay for it. It could all either go vastly over budget like the trams in Edinburgh, or turn out to be not quite as lucrative as £122 million flowing in per year.

The Olympics overstated the financial gain case, but this is Aberdeen: the web will be a profitable, problem free project built to budget and completed without a hitch in no time at all, not like these amateurish cities London and Edinburgh.

Same Sex Marriage: (mod. English phrase) Situation in which two consenting adults of the same sex agree to enter into a marriage contract.

Readers of a sensitive disposition might wish to stop reading. This will be a shock, but there are people out there who apparently are not heterosexual. Some of these people want to have long-term, legally-recognised partnerships or even marriages with their beloveds. Clearly this is wrong.

The SNP were going to consider this issue, but have developed cold feet. And too right. What kind of a society would we have if people who loved each other could get married as they wanted? Let’s stick to what we know works – a society where some six out of ten marriages end in divorce and separation.

Actors are exactly the kind of people who go in for this kind of wild behaviour

On what the kids call ‘social network’ websites, there are a number of protagonists claiming that it should be their right to choose who to be with. Top among these is one Mr George Takei. He may be remembered for his role as ‘Sulu’ in Star Trek television and film appearances.

Actors are exactly the kind of people who go in for this kind of wild behaviour. Elton John too has a ‘same sex’ partner. Just because they are intensively creative, intelligent, witty, generous men who have entertained millions for generations is no reason to think this kind of thing won’t mean the entire breakdown of society, or even the planet.

It is clearly our business what consenting adults get up to, so let’s put paid to any same sex marriage ideas here in Scotland – Scotland, arguably the home of modern philosophy, invention and upholder of the Rights of Man. Next thing you know, we’ll have men going around in skirts. God forbid.

Confidential to a certain councillor

I am very glad to know that you are having doubts about the private companies set up to carve up the Common Good land of Union Terrace Gardens. You have confided that you are not sure the financials stack up, and you wonder if this isn’t either a vanity project, or a ‘jobs for the construction boys’ deal.

As you have those doubts, you will have to err on the side of caution, and reject any plans to start any project over UTG at this time. If you vote to go ahead, you are going against your own better judgment. I am glad you have these doubts – and as long as there is any doubt, the project must not proceed. Don’t listen to me: listen to your own common sense.

Next Week: Old Susannah wants your gift suggestions for Ian Wood’s retirement. What do you give the billionaire who has everything?

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News Roundup

Creative Writing, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Jul 202012

Our News Editor, Gubby Plenderleith, provides a brief outline of some of the main news stories from around Scotland.

Police raided a further 10 homes in Strathclyde at the weekend as part of a major crackdown on people who are in possession of products which have passed their ‘use by’ dates.

Officers targeted properties in the Paisley area as part of a second week of strikes on suspected offenders. Two men and a woman have been charged with ‘use by’ date offences, while a further two women were arrested in connection with a number of offences relating to keeping a dirty house.

Dozens of homes have been raided since the campaign – code named Operation Dirty Minger – began and more than 40 arrests having made over the last fortnight.

Interviewed following the raids the officer in charge, Inspector Malkie McSpankiebot said:

“Some o’ they people is pure dead manky, by-ra-way! One of the wumming involved had a raspb’ry yoghurt in her fridge that was o’er a week past its ‘use by’ date.

“Do these folk no’ have ony dignity?”

A report has been sent to the Procurator Fiscal and Aggie McKenzie.

* * *

Following the recent publication of the business case for Aberdeen’s City Garden Project, a local business man has spoken out passionately in support of the development:

“It is my genuine belief that if this iconic development is allowed to go ahead, there will be many tangible benefits far in excess of the estimated 6,500 new jobs and average annual growth of £142m for the city.

“I have spoken to a number of people about the plans and am more than ever convinced that this project could also result in solving the country’s current economic crisis, reversing the negative effects of global warming and finding a cure for both cancer and the common cold.”

He has asked to remain anonymous in case he is asked to contribute towards the cost of the scheme.

* * *

In response to Lord Luvvaduque handing down a 30 year sentence to gangland boss Charlie ‘Pit Bull’ McNutter at Edinburgh High Court on Tuesday, Johan Lamont has asked Justice Secretary Kenny McAskill what he is going to do about the fact that over 30 of Mr McNutter’s employees are now facing redundancy.

* * *

Addressing a meeting of the Carnwath Guild of Mothers for Bigger Bridies this week, Secretary of State for Scotland, Michael Moore made his most impassioned plea yet for Scotland to remain within the United Kingdom:

“What you must remember,” he said, “is that a vote for independence is a vote that’ll put me out of a job!”

* * *

Police in Achiltibuie have reported that a 48 year old man has been detained in custody following an incident in the town centre on Wednesday evening. A spokesman for Northern Constabulary has said that the man cannot be named on account of him being the Chief Constable’s brother in law.

* * *

Archie McDreich, who stood unsuccessfully as the prospective parliamentary candidate for Auchtertool South at the last general election, has announced that he is giving up mainstream politics and joining the Liberal Democrats.

* * *

In the wake of the recent controversy over the proposed visit of the Duntocher Weighwatchers Club to Shetland, Aberdeen Voice can report that NorthLink Ferries have decided to give them a wide berth.

* * *

In a recent interview with Hullarrer magazine, Hollywood megastar Mel Gibson revealed that, on principle, he never wears under vests. A spokesman for Mr Gibson has since denied that the actor is anti-semmitic!

* * *

Clarifications & corrections

In last week’s edition of Aberdeen Voice we described councillor Tam Sproat as a self effacing pragmatist when we should actually have said is that he is a fat, ugly, moron. We apologise for our error.

Behind The Gloss And Glitter Of Trump’s Golf Course

Aberdeenshire, Featured, Opinion 27 Responses »

Jul 102012

Tripping Up Trump’s Sue Edwards sees for herself the preparations for the opening of the golf course at Menie Sands and gives an alternative view to what’s been reported in the mainstream newspapers and on radio and TV.

I went to the Menie Estate on Sunday to see how the final preparations were going for the opening of Trump’s golf course on Tuesday.

Dozens of workmen were busy laying turf, erecting gates and planting trees. Lots of titivating was being carried out before the man himself was due to arrive on Monday.

There was even a road-cleaning lorry scrubbing the newly-laid tarmac leading to the temporary clubhouse.

A row of golf buggies were on one side of the new car park, a surprise to me as I thought they were banned under Condition 10 of the Public Inquiry Report.
No doubt the new course and its surroundings will shine like a new pin for those invited to the opening. Trump will have his perfect golf course, with everything that doesn’t suit his style conveniently hidden.

He has painted the row of old Coastguard cottages sparkling white for their owners, but the properties which offend his eyes have been hidden from view. Having failed to persuade Aberdeenshire Council to obtain these properties for him by Compulsory Purchase, he has decided instead to screen them from his golfers.

Pine trees have been planted around the historic old Coastguard station overlooking the temporary clubhouse. Having been dug from other parts of the Menie Estate at the wrong time of year, most have died off, and now their replacements are either dead or dying.

The TV programme Donald Trump’s Fabulous World of Golf shows Trump driving around the dunes. He says to Sarah Malone,

“Sarah, I want to get rid of that house.”

She replies,

“It’s going to create a bit of a stir.”

He goes on,

“Who cares? Who cares? You know what, who cares? It is our property and we can do what we want, we are trying to build the greatest golf course in the world.

“This house is ugly. There are some houses quite far away from the course but nevertheless they are in view, but we are *berming some of the areas so that you don’t see the houses. I don’t wanna see the houses. And nobody has a problem with it – I guess maybe the people who live in the houses have …”
http://www.twitvid.com/videos/menieconcerns

*A dictionary definition of berm – A small ledge or shoulder of dirt with some type of vegetation, designed to control water runoff, hide something unsightly such as a power substation.

All of the residents have been subjected to constant surveillance by security staff employed by Trump

Leyton Cottage, beside the clubhouse car park, now has a high bank of soil and sand around it to the south and east. The eastern side also has a high wooden and steel gate blocking access to the beach. It is screened to the north by trees.

Until recently, the residents enjoyed uninterrupted views across the dunes, views now blocked by this bank, topped by dying pine saplings. Light to their home is restricted and loose sand is blown into the garden and even into the house itself.

What is a neat grassy bank with shrubs on the golf course side, is a heap of soil, rocks, rubbish, and weeds when seen from the Cottage.

Complaints to Aberdeenshire Council about this high bank have been ignored by the Planning Enforcement Officer, brushed off as ‘a temporary storage of surplus soil’. There doesn’t seem to be any official on the residents’ side.

Residents have been subjected to constant surveillance by security staff employed by Trump. It is hard for us to imagine what it is like to have a security vehicle parked near our home with someone watching at all hours. Only last week a Grampian Police patrol car was outside one of the houses at 3.45 am, and as the owner drove off to work it followed him out to the main road.

So, did those who turned up at Menie Estate on Tuesday to drink champagne and listen to Trump spouting about the greatest golf course in the world, spare a thought for the local residents who have had to live with all of this for the last two years and more, and will live with the consequences forever?

Behind the gloss and glitter and razzamatazz of Trump’s world, did they consider the hidden houses and imagine just what it is like for ordinary, hardworking local people?

Sarah Malone recently stated that 3000 people have signed up to play the new course. According to the ballot on the Old Course at St Andrews, there are just over 256 golfers booked to play today. At that rate, 3000 people could play in just twelve days at Menie.

Can the destruction of the rare dune system and the awful disruption in the lives of the other residents on the Menie Estate really be worth it?’

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Coming Up Trumps: Film and Golf Club Both Open

Aberdeenshire, Featured, News 3 Responses »

Jun 272012

You’ve Been Trumped, the highest rated documentary in UK history, will receive its official cinema release in Scotland just days before the ‘star’ of the film can hit the first golf ball on his troubled development near Aberdeen. With thanks to Anthony Baxter.

The feature, which scooped up 10 major awards during its global festival run, premieres on Friday July 6th in the home of golf, St. Andrews.

This will be followed by an unprecedented cinema run in Aberdeen, Inverness, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Dundee, Stirling and the Highlands and Islands.

The film will also play in London and selected theatres elsewhere in the UK before opening in the United States in August through Manhattan based International Film Circuit.

Hollywood star Alec Baldwin, who is a ‘great admirer’ of the film, has asked to host a screening during You’ve Been Trumped’s premiere week in New York.

The brand new cinema release version of the film, given a PG rating by the British Board of Film Classification, features fresh scenes – including a moment where Mr Trump appears uncertain as to whether his golf course is situated on the east or west coast of Scotland. It also features a beautiful, but scathing, song by Scots folk favourite Karine Polwart.

Director Anthony Baxter, who recently received an apology from Grampian police for being thrown in jail while making the film, says:

“The timing is no accident. We felt it was essential to get the film in front of the Scottish public before Mr Trump’s global hype machine churns into action. And what better place to open the film than St. Andrews, where you really do find the best golf course in the world.”

Donald Trump’s publicity efforts seem not to be as effective as they once were. After a disastrous appearance at the Parliamentary committee looking into wind farms Mr Trump has had to change his plans for his opening fourball, which he once predicted would include Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond and Sir Sean Connery. According to press reports, both men are avoiding the launch of the development on July 10th.

Meanwhile emeritus Professor Paul Cheshire from the London School of Economics, the leading economist who predicts in You’ve Been Trumped the economic benefits promised by Mr Trump and Mr Salmond would never materialise, says he has been proven right and that Donald Trump’s objections to wind farms are a diversion.

“Mr Trump seems to be using the offshore wind farm plan as a way of saving face while kicking sand in the face of the Scots. The people of Aberdeenshire have sadly lost a habitat of wild beauty for no noticeable economic gain.”

“Thus far, only a handful of full time jobs have been created by the resort, just a fraction of the 6,000 promised by Mr Salmond and Donald Trump.”

Leading geomorphologist, Dr Jim Hansom of the University of Glasgow, who gave evidence against the Trump plans at Scotland’s Parliament on behalf of Scottish Natural Heritage, is warning fellow Scots not to be fooled by glossy newspaper and TV images of green fairways.

“What was once a wild, dynamic and inspirational place is now just another manicured and polished piece of coastal real estate. Mountains of sand trucked in and bulldozed into shape are concealed by a superficial veneer of golf-course green. A human-made place and a wilderness destroyed.”

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ATUC Objection To National Front March In Aberdeen

Aberdeen City, Community, Information, News No Responses »

Apr 062012

With thanks to Kevin Hutchens.

Aberdeen TUC successfully mounted a co-ordinated campaign against the plans of the National Front (the NF) to march in Aberdeen on Hitler’s birthday, Friday 20th April.
The NF of course claimed it had nothing to do with the birthday of the Fascist Dictator and everything to do with the founding date of the SNP.

Surprisingly then, some would say, both the reports from Grampian Police and the Human Rights Impact Assessment carried out by the City Council argued that there might possibly be a link between the date and Hitler’s birthday: though both, in the interests of democracy, recognised the need to consider other options .

The Trade Union movement played a vital and crucial role in co-ordinating opposition via written representations, and also expressed its opposition via two media and press events. Not surprisingly, the NF did not help themselves when they accused the media of being “Zionist” because of the way they reported the proposed event .

On the day of the Aberdeen City Council Licensing Committee, 27th March 2012, a small but determined and committed group of activists from ATUC waited outside the Council Chambers. Much was made of this by the NF, but what they failed to realise and mention is that the activists which were present, though small in number, represented the interests of thousands of Trade Unionists from across the North East.

At the end of the day, Aberdeen City Council Licensing Committee refused (“Prohibited” in Council parlance) the application to march, on public order and public safety grounds. What had however been noticeable in the debate was the unwillingness of the NF to move on crucial issues including the planned time of the march, the starting point of the march and the route. Clearly the committee made the right decision on behalf of the City of Aberdeen.

Whatever the decision, it still remains an important role to expose the National Front for the way many of their supporters promote racism, Islamophobia and Holocaust denial.

“No Pasaran” is the call that comes to mind !

Kevin Hutchens
ATUC Delegate for Unite Local Government, Aberdeenshire Branch.

Old Susannah No. 73 – Terrorism Is Over Special!

Articles, Community, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Apr 062012

Old Susannah comments on UK Government proposals to access emails between all citizens in the name of preventing Terrorism.

There will be dancing in the streets, celebrations at public squares (as long as they are vibrant, dynamic and have connectivity), and rejoicing all ‘round: the government has found the way to stop terrorism! Result! Yes, the government is getting rid of terrorism. And your basic right to privacy.

Why didn’t we think of it earlier, we are all wondering. Yes, the Government has decided it has the right to record each and every email you receive and send. And that is how terrorism will be stopped once and for all.

I’m happy to give up my private life forever in order for government snoops to be able to catch the bad guys. I’m thrilled to be treated like a new prison inmate every time I want to get on a plane. I’m sure you are as well.

So what if there are the occasional cases of disabled and/or elderly people being strip searched for having mobility aids. If the occasional frightened child is separated from its parents to be frisked, then so be it. It’s the price we pay for having the fantastic safe and secure lifestyles we have.

It was said by an American founding father, Benjamin Franklin that ‘They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.’ How times have changed.

You could also wonder how secure your business secrets will be when they are intercepted by unknown government spooks. Do people ever mis-use information? Hardly ever. The slightly paranoid J Edgar Hoover kept files on American citizens, and would occasionally blackmail people into doing his bidding. Liberty and Justice for all, except if the FBI wanted you.

That would never happen here. Of course a senior police official was recently found guilty of accessing data on an ex-partner of his right here. I’m sure this was just a one-off, no need to trouble ourselves about it.

It’s also a very good thing that terrorists would never use the Royal Mail. Except for those charming people who sent bombs to Celtic’s manager, that is. No one would ever think of using the post for smuggling, planning terrorist attacks or anything else we should concern ourselves with. Phew!

It would be terrible if there were any civil disobedience over this great move. For instance nothing is stopping you from going to an internet cafe, and creating a free email account under the name of john smith. If enough people did this, and only sent or checked emails at internet cafes, then this little snooping plan of our kind government’s would be toast.

Old Susannah thinks this great scheme might run into a few wee problems anyway. For one thing, I keep getting all sorts of ‘spam’. Multiply all the emails selling you drugs or which try to get your personal details out of you by the country’s population, and you’ll need a bank of computer storage just to keep the spam.

Perhaps we should all go back to sending letters.

If anyone wanted to sign a petition against this great piece of legislation, although I can’t think why they would, the online petition is at http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_big_brother_law_a/?tta

Celebrity Blog from Cattie the Millipede and Milly the Caterpillar

Greetings everyone from our safe house in Torry, where we were airlifted to after our beautiful meadow home on Tullos Hill was destroyed – for a LibDem election pledge. We are surviving the cold snap OK, because we have lots of dead leaves to hide under to keep warm. (gardeners should always leave some dead leaves or other mulch around to keep plants – and creatures like us – warm).

We are even more worried now about our old friends on Tullos Hill. The deer have nowhere near as much gorse to shelter in and it’s cold. The birds lost lots of their shelter too when the gorse was ripped out. We are fine – but we wish our friends were, too.

Election Notes

The Labour Party have announced they would – end the Granite Web in its tracks if elected! Rather than borrowing £140,000,000 to put concrete ramps over our garden, chop down 250 year-old trees to turn into wood chip, they seem to want to spend time and energy on helping people.

Gerry Brough, city employee who has generously volunteered to work on the project is said to be incandescent with rage. So no change there then.

Tullos Gorse Clearance: Is The City Damaging Our Wildlife?

Aberdeen City, Articles, Breaking, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, News No Responses »

Mar 252012

Aberdeen City Council has been warned today that its staff could face criminal prosecution for its activities on Tullos Hill. Animal Concern’s John Robins issued a press release explaining all, and Aberdeen Voice brings you this latest development in the ongoing Tullos Hill saga.

Aberdeen City Council (ACC) has been warned that staff and volunteers involved in the controversial Tree for Every Citizen project could face prosecution under wildlife crime laws.

It is believed workers have started clearing gorse and shrubs on Tullos Hill in preparation for the planting of saplings which is due to start next month.

Gorse is a favoured nesting habitat for a variety of birds including members of the finch family. It is a criminal offence to disturb or destroy active nests or to harm eggs or chicks.

John Robins of Animal Concern Advice Line (ACAL) has asked the Wildlife Crime Officer at Grampian Police to investigate the situation with a view to arresting anyone found to have broken wildlife protection laws. The SSPCA and RSPB have also been asked to intervene. ACAL have warned ACC that their staff and volunteers could be prosecuted for destroying birds’ nests and they have asked the Council to suspend all work on Tullos Hill until September.

John Robins states:

“This tree planting scheme has gone from insane to criminally insane. Who in their right mind orders clearance of nest sites just at the time when song birds are nesting and then sends in an army of tree planters when ground nesting birds are trying to raise their young?

“This latest development suggests that the people behind this project really do not have a clue about what they are doing. ACC claim their Tree for Every Citizen project will provide wildlife habitat. All I can see is habitat destruction and disruption at the very worst time of year for that to happen. Will it take a criminal prosecution before ACC see sense?”

Gavin Lindsay, Wildlife Crime Officer at Grampian Police, has agreed to speak to Aberdeen City Council about possible breaches in wildlife protection laws. The SSPCA have asked their Aberdeen inspectorate to look into the matter. We await a response from RSPB Scotland.

The Council have put up temporary fencing around and on Tullos Hill. These have yellow hazard warning signs stating “Warning Forestry Operations. Please obey all signs and restrictions.”

A copy of the warning sent to the ACC Chief Exec and the Councillor behind the tree planting project is as follows:-

Dear Ms Watts and Councillor Malone,

I note that Aberdeen City Council has announced its intention to commence ground preparation work and the planting of saplings on Tullos Hill. I understand that this work will involve the removal of bracken and gorse and that clearance of these plants may already have started.

Given the long period of unseasonably mild weather you’ve had in the Aberdeen area over the last few weeks it is highly likely that birds will be nesting early and there will be nests with eggs and chicks in the gorse and on the ground at Tullos Hill. Gorse, which provides prickly protection for nesting birds, is a favoured nesting habitat for finches such as Twite, Chaffinch, Linnet, Redpoll and others. From photographs and descriptions of the terrain on Tullos Hill I expect there are also a fair number of native ground nesting birds such as Lapwing, Curlew, Skylark and perhaps Ring Ouzel nesting in the area.

Yesterday we had a report that someone has heard grouse calling on the hill so it is likely that grouse will be nesting there too. There will no doubt be many pheasant breeding on the hill as well.

As you are probably aware it is a criminal offence to disturb or destroy birds’ nests containing eggs or chicks. It is likely that it would be individual employees or volunteers who would be prosecuted should wildlife protection laws be breached while the gorse and bracken is removed or while saplings are being planted.

I ask Aberdeen City Council to suspend all activities on Tullos Hill until September to avoid disturbing or destroying any active nests. I have notified the Grampian Police Wildlife Crime Unit, RSPB and the SSPCA of the situation.

Yours sincerely,

John F. Robins, Secretary to ACAL

Old Susannah No. 71 – Dr Who Special

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Environment, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Mar 222012

Old Susannah takes a humanoid angle on the Provost’s exit, the who’s who of deer cull councillors, alledged cybercrime, the police box/granite web, and the Cameron and Clegg creatures. By Suzanne Kelly

Happy Friday everyone! So much has been happening in our Vibrant ‘Deen it is hard to know where to start.

Bad news first I suppose: with a heavy heart I must inform you that our Lord Provost will not be joining the council next year. Soon his clothing allowance and civic car privileges will pass to another.

But which young pretender will take the crown, chain of office and supply of carriage clocks?

HoMalone, if she manages to get re-elected may stand some chance; she was deemed the worthiest LibDem in the land. And now that she leads the LibDems, I’m sure there’s no stopping her.

At least we’ll all get to go to Provost Stephen’s portrait unveiling party before the end comes. . . guess his LibDem pals will have to find someone else to hitch rides with other than in the civic car at our expense. Steve Delaney, who will contest the Lord Provost’s seat in the May, got a ride from the obliging taxpayer in the civic car as he was late for something or other. We are too kind. I’d have given him a carriage clock as well, so he wouldn’t be late next time. Perhaps he already has one?

A very silly rumour reaches Old Susannah; it can’t be true. I hear that the virtuous ex-Councillor Richard Robertson, who quit the city council over the 3rd Don Crossing, wants to run in Torry/Ferryhill. Now, as a Torry resident who’s been going to the community council meetings recently, I am not sure that someone who voted in favour of shooting our deer and against letting me and the Cove Community Chairman speak to the Housing & Environment Committee to try and save the deer is going to find many votes in this part of town.

In fact, if the people who we spoke to last Saturday in town while handing out flyers about the cull are anything to go by, then I doubt any of the following deer killers are going to get great receptions at the ballot box.

One ambitious girl seems to have grown up with the Dalek as a role model. Step forward Aileen Malone.

Remember these people; they are the ones to thank over the affairs on Tullos Hill: John Corall, Jackie Dunbar, Neil ‘Fletch’ Fletcher (who sadly is leaving us anyway), Jim Noble, Richard Robertson, Wendy Stuart, Ian Yuill, and new LibDem Darling, HoMalone. The deer’s friends? Neil Cooney, Yvonne Allan, Norman Collie, James Hunter, Alan Milne and Willie Young.

Dr Who has another new companion this week; I’ve been recalling all the frightening monsters, world-destroying creatures, and evil masterminds we’ve seen over the decades. But never mind the city council and its advisors – on with some definitions….

Dalek (noun) part human creature created by Davros, a Dalek is a single-minded creature, repeating the same phrases over and over again, in a robotic voice; most notably ‘Exterminate!’. Daleks are not known for their ability to negotiate, only to destroy.

We all remember being terrified and trembling behind our sofas and forts made of cushions and blankets as the Daleks rolled across our TV screens crying ‘Exterminate! Exterminate!’. Most of us were afraid of these creatures, but one ambitious girl seems to have grown up with the Dalek as a role model. Step forward Aileen Malone.

She will not negotiate a peaceful settlement with thousands of people who want to keep Tullos Hill as a meadow. She operates a scorched earth policy (well, mostly scorched rock policy – I’ve been up there and seen where the trees are going to be planted before they die), and she is going to EXTERMINATE the deer which live there.

Can no one stop the march (well, glide) of this Dalek in its quest for world domination? Like the Daleks in Dr Who, she is aided by one or two humanoids who should know better, but don’t.

Cybermen:

The Cybermen likewise terrified generations of children; they were humans which had been ‘upgraded’ – or rather turned into humanoid machines powered by remnants of human brains. But the question for Aberdeen is: has there or has there not been any Cyber-crime?

Just as time was running out for the referendum vote, along came Tom Smith (connected to the private Aberdeen City Gardens Trust entity – amongst other hats worn) with allegations of illegal cyber crime. Had Cybermen hacked into his emails? Were they intimidating him?

Well, we still don’t know. He’s said nothing, and we wait patiently for the police’s statement on the matter. Until we know otherwise, be on the lookout for cyber-crime – and cybermen. If it turns out to be a case of ‘the boy who cried cybercrime’, Old Susannah will tell you all about it.

Regeneration:

The Doctor occasionally sacrificed one of his several incarnations; usually to save others or for a noble cause. Councillor Robertson, having lost a life when he threw himself out of office over the Don crossing, is going to try to regenerate as a Torry/Ferryhill councillor. Like the doctor, it will be best if he has amnesia, for his support of the deer-cull-for-tree-scheme will not add to his appeal in this (or indeed any other) part of town.

TARDIS: (noun) acronym standing for Time And Relative Dimension In Space – Dr Who’s time-travelling apparatus – normally taking the outward form of an old-fashioned police box; much bigger on the inside than on the outside.

Well, the TARDIS doesn’t have to be a police box, in fact other time lords used different kinds of TARDIS machines. I think I have possibly located one.

Where in Aberdeen will we soon have something that is bigger on the inside than it is outside? Why in the Granite Web, of course.

The architects have promised that we will magically have twice the green space we currently have in the garden now! Surely this is Timelord technology. Despite the potato-crisp shaped concrete web over the concrete indoor/outdoor theatre/skating rink, despite the required ventilation units and means of holding the granite web up, the new improved gardens will be double the size of the existing ones.

There will be all sorts of weird and (allegedly) wonderful underground areas which will be far bigger than the outer structure. I think the plans have space for a lair for the Master, and some Silurians. Yes, I see the Granite Web as a time-travelling icon – it is taking us back to the ‘60s and/or ‘70s – and yet promises to take us proudly into the future. This is time travel at its best – and possibly at its most expensive.

Dr Who and The State of Decay: (noun, television show) Part of the Dr Who Saga in which a planet is dominated by bloodsucking vampires who have caused society to regress.

Old Susannah can’t think why this series (featuring the inimitable Tom Baker) has sprung to mind, but in this story, a small amount of greedy powerful bloodsuckers have taken so much away from the existing society, that it has regressed to a more primitive, poverty-stricken state than it had been in before power was seized by these vampires.

The blood-sucking creatures, Cameron and Clegg, have reduced the NHS to rubble, impoverished the old, got rid of any decent schools, and use the young as fodder for their own selfish ends. One of the scariest parts of the Dr Who story so far. Thankfully, the Doctor and Ramana eventually find a way to rid the planet of its tyrannical despots.

Next week: (Hopefully) deer update, Milne update, Referendum update – and a cheerful look at Aberdeen City Council’s happiest publication – ‘Our Green Times’.

Potential Residential Care Home Vote Fraud Concern

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, News No Responses »

Mar 152012

With thanks to Suzanne Kelly.

A new cloud covers the controversial Union Terrace Gardens Referendum today, as a care home worker came forward with concerns about postal votes sent to a residential home.

The worker, who wishes to remain anonymous, approached Aberdeen Voice to say that over a dozen postal vote envelopes arrived at one residential home – but when the worker went to retrieve them a short time later – they were not where they had been left. No one at the residence seemed to know precisely what became of them. The concern is whether or not the residents’ votes were properly distributed and managed. The matter is still being looked into, and no allegation of wrong-doing has been made at this stage.

Aberdeen Voice’s Suzanne Kelly is researching further, and contacted the elections officer, and the other recognised campaigning organisations on the issue.

Kelly asked the elections officer for the marked Register to be checked with a view to how many care home residents returned votes, and whether there are any unusual voting patterns. However, the elections officer’s position is that “it would be illegal for me to provide this in terms of the Representation of the People(Scotland) Regulations 2001.” In an election relevant parties would normally be able to view the marked Register.

Crawford Langley, the Elections Officer for the Union Terrace Gardens referendum vote, previously contacted the police over potential postal vote fraud in May 2005 when he was elections officer and a small number (between 6 and 12) of anomalies arose, where people appeared not to have received their postal vote forms.

Langley was quoted at the time as saying:

“We are talking about a very small number but, given the publicity elsewhere and the tight ship we run in elections in Aberdeen, it was sufficiently unusual that I needed to do something about it.”

The controversial referendum, which was over the future of Aberdeen’s Victorian Union Terrace Gardens, gave residents a choice to either ‘retain’ the gardens, or to endorse a £140 million pound scheme called the Granite Web. This entails the city obtaining a £70 million pound TIF loan, which will be matched by Sir Ian Wood / The Wood Family Trust (£50 million), £5 million from an anonymous donor, and another £15 from as-yet unnamed private sources. The TIF scheme is still in trial stages in Scotland.

many feel the media bombardment influenced the vote

The referendum was dogged by controversy. Official campaigning groups were entitled to place a 300 word essay into the voting pack, and had to adhere to strict expenditure limits.

The Green Party’s statement was not printed in full. Also controversial were the actions of a ‘secretive’ group (as described by a BiG Partnership employee) known as ‘Vote for the City Gardens Project.’ This federation of businessmen and women, who prefer to remain anonymous, are thought to have spent tens of thousand of pounds to promote the City Garden Project Granite Web.

Their glossy, A3 full colour brochure went to households in Aberdeenshire which were not eligible to vote as well as to City residents. The group also issued a four-page newspaper format item, and had several full-page spreads in the local press. Local radio stations broadcast pro City Garden Project commercials. None of the officially recognised campaigning groups would have been able to afford such a campaign, and many feel the media bombardment influenced the vote.

The materials produced by the group used projections by PriceWaterhouse Coopers to claim the scheme would create over 6,500 permanent jobs and mean £122 million to the local economy every year until 2023. Those who tried to contest these projections being used as fact found that the Vote for the City Gardens Project group was not accountable either to the elections officer or the Advertising Standards Agency. Other points of contention have been brought to the election officer’s notice as well.

Willie Young of the Labour Party, who were an official campaigning organisation, had this to say:

“We really do need to see the mark register so we can prove to ourselves that the referendum was run correctly. In a democracy we need checks and balances and the Electoral Commission is clear that those involved in an election should be given access to the mark register. I am not suggesting anything is untoward, but it is our right to make sure that it isn’t. We are baffled by the stance taken by the counting officer”.

Suzanne Kelly commented:

“It is abundantly clear to me why my source wishes to stay anonymous. They are keen to continue in the job they love, and are all too aware of what can happen to a whistle-blower. This issue is still being investigated, but I thought bringing it to the election officer’s attention immediately was the right thing to do. This is why we need to check the votes sent to all of our residential care homes – we must ensure no one has been exploited and no votes have gone astray. Were all the votes sent to the homes used, and if not, what percentage went unused? Did the vote split at the residential homes echo the nearly 50–50 split the total vote saw? If not, then further research will be needed.

There is at present no allegation of any wrong doing by any individual – but it is clear that we need to have the transparency we were always promised concerning Union Terrace Gardens, but which we so sadly lacked. We’ve seen redacted minutes – minutes where lines of text have been ‘blacked out’ to keep the public in the dark. Why should there be any secrecy over what is common good land?”

Kelly was chair of one of the recognised campaigning organisations (‘Democracy Watch’) and has been liaising with other campaigners; a number of issues remain over the referendum, and these will be reviewed soon.

Rock Challenge – NE Schools Battle It Out

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, News No Responses »

Feb 272012

By Stephen Davy-Osborne.

The AECC was alive with the sound of music as the region’s academies went head to head in the Aberdeen Rock Challenge heat.
Pupils from Hazlehead, Bucksburn, Mackie, Kemnay, Turiff, Westhill and Fraserburgh, along with premier team Peterhead Academy, danced it out on stage to win one of three coveted places in the first ever Scottish final. Opening the show were first time entrants Hazlehead Academy.

Drama teacher Morag Duncan told Aberdeen Voice:

“I felt that Rock Challenge was something that Hazlehead Academy really ought to get involved with as it brings children from all different year groups together. And by setting them a goal they all try to achieve better things.”

Dancing as part of Hazlehead’s performance was 16 year old Alexa Riley.

“I wanted to get involved to show the younger members of the school that the seniors aren’t so scary as everyone thinks they are,” she explained. “I love dancing, so I just wanted the younger pupils to feel that they could get involved too.”

Megan Joyce, 15, of Bucksburn Academy said:

“This was my third Rock Challenge. I love the atmosphere with all the schools getting involved. Backstage when you’re waiting to go on it’s really really exciting, that’s what I like about it all. And getting ready to go on, that’s a big part for everyone here, just because you’re hyping up, it’s a great feeling. “

Barbara Milroy, a teacher at Bucksburn Academy, said:

“I am so proud of them because they’ve done it all themselves. They’ve created their own ideas and they’ve danced their hearts out. They’ve just put everything into it!”

The idea behind rock challenge is for students to be at their best without any stimulants, but rather to get a natural high from being together and working together as a team. Pupils are also asked to sign a pledge that during the time they are working on Rock Challenge they won’t take part in drugs and alcohol and are going to lead a healthy existence.

“There have been very positive knock-on effects in the school as a result of taking part in Rock Challenge,” added Ms Milroy. “We have pupils who are attending regularly at school because of this activity and making this a focal point in their week, and it’s very evident that they are thinking more about their bodies and how they need to be healthy to take part.”

Playing an on-stage drunk in Bucksburn’s performance was 17 year old Shaun Lancaster.

“It was quite fun because it pushed my acting to the limits,” he explained. “By playing it melodramatically and very big I was able to portray to the audience that it’s not a good thing to be doing, and hopefully encourage others not to abuse alcohol in that way.”

Rock Challenge in Aberdeen has had longstanding relationship with Grampian Police, who have sponsored the event for the past 10 years. Karen Simpson, Youth Diversion Coordinator at Grampian Police enthused:

“I love Rock Challenge, and I think that it is just amazing that the young people are given an opportunity to perform in a venue like the AECC. The teachers are there just to guide them, all of the hard work that you see up on the stage is all their own, and the performances we see just get better and better each year!”

Stage manager Dan McCredy said:

“This year there was so much hype on Facebook and Twitter before the event we knew it was going to be a bit special and the teams certainly didn’t disappoint. The standard at the Aberdeen event was exceptional and the atmosphere throughout the entire day was absolutely electric. It was a perfect way to round off our time in Scotland and was a fantastic showcase of talent of young people in the North East of Scotland.”

Scottish Regional Representative Lesley-Ann Begg added:

“The news of the first ever Scottish final was a huge incentive for young people to be their best and I’m looking forward to seeing the performances again in Dundee.”

Walking away with the winning position from the Aberdeen heat was Fraserburgh Academy, who will be joined by runners-up Westhill and Kemnay for the Scottish final in Dundee in June.

www.rockchallenge.co.uk

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