Jul 122012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah comments on current events and enlightens us with definitions of some tricky terms with a locally topical taste. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho!  I will start by apologising for a recent column; I clearly misread the signs and got carried away.  Specifically, you don’t need to worry quite so much about wearing sunscreen as I’d suggested.  I also advised to make sure your pets had enough water – well, I think we’ve all had enough water by now.

Moving swiftly along, two art exhibitions are worthy of mention this week.  The House of Annie Lennox exhibition at the Aberdeen Art Gallery opened with a bang.  Ms Lennox was in town and a party and a press launch for the show were held.

Alas I did not get to the party, but it was a treat to have early access to the exhibition.  The show is considerably expanded, and the early mementos and images from her childhood in Aberdeen show the roots of her talents and personality.

More homegrown talent is on display (albeit in Forfar) with artist Anna Geerdes’ exhibition ‘No Place’.  Anna is from the Netherlands, lives in Torry, and studied at Grays School of Art.  Her work explores questions of boundaries and landscapes; she’s had paintings in the Royal Academy of Art in Edinburgh, and I wish her all the best with this exceptional show on until 28 July.
http://www.angus.gov.uk/history/museums/meffan/exhibitions-2012-NoPlace.htm )

Looking out over foggy Aberdeen over the last few weeks (well, some days you couldn’t look very far for the haar) I peer through the mists and am reminded of the old film Brigadoon.  This fantasy version of Scotland was so old fashioned!  A bunch of tartan-clad, happy villagers in a town hidden by mist – really!

Thankfully, Hollywood has ceased any stereotyping.  That’s why Pixar’s Brave’ is so much a hit, that we are helping to promote it and its vision of Scotland.  Its far more realistic version of Scotland features tartan-clad, happy villagers dealing with witches and banshees.   Result!

Rather than definitions from our government and its great initiatives, here is a look at  some Hollywood films set amid the heather of Scotland.

Brigadoon: (proper noun; English) Movie/musical love story set in Scottish Highlands.

The tale of Brigadoon centres on a mythical Scottish town, Brigadoon.  The story opens with American tourists getting lost in the foggy weather – kind of like this past fortnight.  They had been in the countryside to engage in the perfectly legitimate, lucrative tourist occupation of culling invasive species, (ie,  hunting).

  In times past, Brigadoon was beset by evil forces.

The pair sing the memorable songs  ‘no heather on the hill’ and ‘ A forestry-managing we will go’ as they look for deer to cull, carefully hanging warning signs all around them according to their risk assessment document.

The hunters discover the beautiful town of Brigadoon, with its rolling fields, sparkling granite and beautiful development opportunities.   Brigadoon only appears out of the mists once every hundred years.  In times past, Brigadoon was beset by evil forces.

Developers threatened to turn the fields to cheap houses and transform the market square into an iconic TIF project, and put wind turbines o’er land and sea.  So the local minister prayed, and magically Brigadoon was saved from over-development, urban sprawl  and unwanted forestry schemes by being hidden in time, only to appear once every 100 years (about as often as the No. 23 bus).

The villagers prepare for an upcoming wedding; the bridegroom sings ‘Go Home With Bonnie Jeannie’ , and the villagers all reply with a chorus of ‘Go Home, Ho Malone’.    One of the Americans falls in love with the range of development opportunities on offer, and the locals sing a chorus of ‘Scotland’s open for Business,’ and ‘Smart, Successful Scotland.’  He returns to the land of his granny (near enough) and opens a golf course.  Brigadoon is never seen again.

Braveheart(proper noun; English) A documentary film made by Mel Gibson on the life of William Wallace.

This popular historic recreation has proven to the world that Scotland must be independent from England; it’s what Wallace would have wanted if he were here today.

These days some segments of the press are comparing Alex Salmond to Wallace for his unswerving moral code, his desire to uphold the rights of the common man against the wealthy and powerful, for painting his face with woad and going to battle for Scottish independence.

Apparently the referendum will be scheduled near the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn , where Wallace saw the English off.  Salmond bravely rode into battle against Donald of Trump; he and his two merry administration men sailed to far, far New York.  Armed only with taxpayer money (about £6,300), Salmond and Trump engaged in combat at the Battle of Le Perigord (one of Manhattan’s most expensive restaurants).

I guess Salmond didn’t want to see anything that would discredit the great windfarm expert Trump

Both sides claim victory.  Salmond said windfarms were never discussed; Trump says Salmond promised no windfarms near the new Trump resort. Trump won a great victory over the moving sand dunes to tame this corner of Scotland, creating the world’s greatest golf course.

Alex Salmond is, however, not quite brave-hearted enough to watch the film ‘You’ve been trumped!’ .  He has declined several invitations to view it now, including its showing at Holyrood.

I guess Salmond didn’t want to see anything that would discredit the great windfarm expert Trump, whose address at Holyrood will go down in history for its grasp of science, economics and environmental concerns.  Or something.  This film has disturbing scenes of people being critical of The Donald and his flunkies, which some viewers might find upsetting.  The two documentary makers show Trump’s effects on the Scottish landscape and residents, as he changes nature to his own designs.

Some of these unappreciative locals selfishly refused to sell their homes to Trump and even complained when Trump’s minions  accidentally cut their water off and damaged their property.  The filmmakers were quite rightly arrested, and should have been hung, drawn and quartered for embarrassing Trump and Salmond with this film.

It is understood that any day now The Donald will create millions of jobs – cleaners, porters, dishwashers and maids wanted.

Alex Salmond, like Wallace, understands the importance of seeing what assistance foreign powers can bring to the struggle for Scotland’s independence. This is why Salmond allied himself with the great Rupert of Murdoch.  Alex  pledged his allegiance to Murdoch and apparently did all he could to help with the BskyB merger, and exchanged several messages with (soon to be former) culture secretary of the hated English, Jeremy Hunt.

This was apparently done to get the Murdoch empire to support the SNP.  Like Wallace, Salmond has been summoned to England to face his enemies at the Leveson enquiry, where he was asked to explain a few things.  For some reason Mr Murdoch said he could not remember anything about this matter.  Let’s hope Rupert’s memory improves sometime soon.

Freedom!

Brave: (proper noun; English) Animated tale of the real Scotland of ages past, complete with happy tartan-clad villagers, a princess and a witch or two.  Apparently soon to be part of the SQA curriculum for Scottish History.

Some years back, the Government and Scottish Enterprise were keen to tell the world that it was wrong to stereotype Scotland as the land of tartan, whisky, castles and sheep.  Times have changed.

According to News Net Scotland, here’s what they’re saying about ‘Brave’:-

“First Minister Alex Salmond said the movie presented a huge opportunity to promote Scotland and said: “This will present us with an immense opportunity when Scotland will be centre stage in the film with all the tourism and business opportunities this will bring.  I fully expect that as the film launches across the world, so will awareness of Scotland increase.  Brave will be the most high-profile film ever set in, and themed around, Scotland, featuring Scottish stars.”

VisitScotland chairman Mike Cantlay said:

“When better than in the Year of Creative Scotland, and where better than right here on Scottish soil, to launch Brave for the first time in Europe? 

“The film will showcase the scenery, humour and culture of Scotland, and we are looking forward to converting cinema-goers into visitors.”

  Why go and see this film, when for a mere £150 or so you can have a round of golf at Trump’s newest venture?

So there you have it – the first minister says that the most high-profile film ever set in Scotland is a cartoon with witches, banshees (no offence Aileen, Kate and Jennifer)  and castles.  Visit Scotland (which is now working with Disney to promote the film) says the film showcases the ‘scenery’ and ‘culture’ of Scotland.  We can at least look back on this film when Aberdeen is choked by housing developments to the loss of any green fields.

So bring on the new independent Scotland, battles in kilts and some witchcraft – that will put any old stereotypes to rest.

Local Hero: (proper noun) Award-winning cult film in which environmental concerns take precedence over greed.

This fantasy film depicts a Scotland which is ‘closed for business’ and as such should not be screened.  Worse still, it foreshadows  a very dubious film indeed…

you’ve been trumped: (proper noun) Multi-award-winning documentary depicting Donald Trump’s  quest for the world’s greatest golfcourse – whatever the cost.

Result!  The galaxy’s greatest golfcourse opened this week!  Why go and see this film, when for a mere £150 or so you can have a round of golf at Trump’s newest venture?

Old Susannah suggests that you might want to see this film yourself when it returns (in a newly edited version with extra footage) to the Belmont Cinema this week.  Saturday will see Baxter and many Menie residents come along (1:15 and 6:00 showings as well as 11:00 am). Details at http://www.picturehouses.co.uk/cinema/Belmont_Picturehouse/film/Youve_Been_Trumped/

Hope to see you there, so you can judge for yourself who is in the right:  an honest American tycoon trying to make an honest pound, or the area residents, mainstream Scottish media, and little-known documentary maker, Michael Moore.

Quotes:

“I heard it was boring.  I heard it wasn’t good.”
— Donald J. Trump (Property Developer)

“Factually challenged”
— George Sorial  (Trump spokesperson)

“I didn’t think I could be shocked by the abuses money and power can inflict on ordinary people, but Anthony Baxter, with a calm but steely determination, exposes the way a ruthless, greedy thug can corrupt the state, the police, the media and academia. …When a handful of decent Scottish people try to defend their homes and their environment from destruction, the angry billionaire seeks to crush them.  For showing us the reality of this “development”, Baxter is intimidated, harassed and bullied. But he succeeds in giving us a film as magnificent as the landscape he tries to save, and as warm and principled as the people who live in it.”
— Jeremy Hardy, BBC

“An amazing film….Director Anthony Baxter throws a spotlight on the contemptuous way in which Trump deals with the residents.  But most controversial of all is the way in which the potential environmental damage caused by the development has been disregarded because of the perceived benefits to the local economy.”
— Bob Ward, The Guardian

 “This is a real eye opener of a film, and a cracking piece of filmmaking from Baxter, who uses his own nous, nerve and a few judicious clips from Local Hero besides, to make a compelling case. See it and decide for yourself who are the real Brave Hearts in this tale.”
— Glasgow Herald

“A quietly angry and important film that will inspire plenty of ire in anyone frustrated by the way money and power frequently crushes anything in its path.”
— The Scotsman

“Rogue filmmaker Anthony Baxter entered the front lines of the fight against the developers to capture the outrage of the locals, who stood tall against bulldozers even as their own police force aided Trump’s henchmen in protecting his project.  This shocking investigative film aims to hold Trump—and anyone else who puts personal gain ahead of the environment—accountable for their actions as it documents a protest that still wages on.”
— Michael Moore’s Traverse City Film Festival (Winner, Special Jury Prize)

See you in the funny pictures.

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Jul 102012
 

Tripping Up Trump’s Sue Edwards sees for herself the preparations for the opening of the golf course at Menie Sands and gives an alternative view to what’s been reported in the mainstream newspapers and on radio and TV.

I went to the Menie Estate on Sunday to see how the final preparations were going for the opening of Trump’s golf course on Tuesday.

Dozens of workmen were busy laying turf, erecting gates and planting trees. Lots of titivating was being carried out before the man himself was due to arrive on Monday.

There was even a road-cleaning lorry scrubbing the newly-laid tarmac leading to the temporary clubhouse.

A row of golf buggies were on one side of the new car park, a surprise to me as I thought they were banned under Condition 10 of the Public Inquiry Report.
No doubt the new course and its surroundings will shine like a new pin for those invited to the opening. Trump will have his perfect golf course, with everything that doesn’t suit his style conveniently hidden.

He has painted the row of old Coastguard cottages sparkling white for their owners, but the properties which offend his eyes have been hidden from view. Having failed to persuade Aberdeenshire Council to obtain these properties for him by Compulsory Purchase, he has decided instead to screen them from his golfers.

Pine trees have been planted around the historic old Coastguard station overlooking the temporary clubhouse. Having been dug from other parts of the Menie Estate at the wrong time of year, most have died off, and now their replacements are either dead or dying.

The TV programme Donald Trump’s Fabulous World of Golf shows Trump driving around the dunes. He says to Sarah Malone,

“Sarah, I want to get rid of that house.”

She replies,

“It’s going to create a bit of a stir.”

He goes on,

“Who cares? Who cares? You know what, who cares? It is our property and we can do what we want, we are trying to build the greatest golf course in the world.

 “This house is ugly. There are some houses quite far away from the course but nevertheless they are in view, but we are *berming some of the areas so that you don’t see the houses. I don’t wanna see the houses. And nobody has a problem with it – I guess maybe the people who live in the houses have …”
http://www.twitvid.com/videos/menieconcerns

*A dictionary definition of berm – A small ledge or shoulder of dirt with some type of vegetation, designed to control water runoff, hide something unsightly such as a power substation.

All of the residents have been subjected to constant surveillance by security staff employed by Trump

Leyton Cottage, beside the clubhouse car park, now has a high bank of soil and sand around it to the south and east. The eastern side also has a high wooden and steel gate blocking access to the beach. It is screened to the north by trees.

Until recently, the residents enjoyed uninterrupted views across the dunes, views now blocked by this bank, topped by dying pine saplings. Light to their home is restricted and loose sand is blown into the garden and even into the house itself.

What is a neat grassy bank with shrubs on the golf course side, is a heap of soil, rocks, rubbish, and weeds when seen from the Cottage.

Complaints to Aberdeenshire Council about this high bank have been ignored by the Planning Enforcement Officer, brushed off as ‘a temporary storage of surplus soil’. There doesn’t seem to be any official on the residents’ side.

Residents have been subjected to constant surveillance by security staff employed by Trump. It is hard for us to imagine what it is like to have a security vehicle parked near our home with someone watching at all hours. Only last week a Grampian Police patrol car was outside one of the houses at 3.45 am, and as the owner drove off to work it followed him out to the main road.

So, did those who turned up at Menie Estate on Tuesday to drink champagne and listen to Trump spouting about the greatest golf course in the world, spare a thought for the local residents who have had to live with all of this for the last two years and more, and will live with the consequences forever?

Behind the gloss and glitter and razzamatazz of Trump’s world, did they consider the hidden houses and imagine just what it is like for ordinary, hardworking local people?

Sarah Malone recently stated that 3000 people have signed up to play the new course. According to the ballot on the Old Course at St Andrews, there are just over 256 golfers booked to play today. At that rate, 3000 people could play in just twelve days at Menie.

Can the destruction of the rare dune system and the awful disruption in the lives of the other residents on the Menie Estate really be worth it?

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Jun 282012
 

Old Susannah watches the latest developments in the ‘Deen and the wider world and helps Voice readers to get their whites right. By Suzanne Kelly.

One of the best events in recent memory?  The Party in the Park held by Common Good Aberdeen last Saturday was fantastic, despite the rains.  Nearly 4,000 people visited over the course of the day, all of the thousands of home bakes Mrs B created over a course of weeks disappeared long before the day ended, and the shelter of the marquee made the rain a minor inconvenience rather than a show-stopper.

And what a show it was.  Gerry Jablonsiki and the Electric Band opened the entertainment, and played an extraordinary set (I must say the solos Gerry comes out with are riveting, but you can’t play like that without a solid rhythm section.

The big surprise for many was the unique, creative duo ‘The Pounding’ whose electronic compositions went over a storm.

The final act of the day were the school choirs performing ‘Sing’.  The audience went wild as they danced to Danse MacCabre’s ceildh music.

I was honoured to have been asked to do a speech of thanks at the end; it was a privilege to thank the many volunteers who made the day a success, and Mrs B in particular, without whom this would not have been realised.  All around the gardens people commented ‘there should be more events like this’, ‘we don’t need to build anything here, just hold events’ and ‘get me some more of this delicious cake!’

Marie Boulton, Depute ACC Leader, made a brief but wonderful speech; many politicians came out to have fun and talk to their constituents.  Everyone was pleased in particular that Dame Anne Begg MP was there, proving that the gardens are accessible.  They could be made more accessible it is true – but access does exist, despite odd claims to the contrary.

I would like to apologise for not getting to have proper chats with a number of people, but I was charged with getting the acts on and off stage according to a strict timetable. Neale Bothwell and I did a fair job of it, I think.  Don’t wait for someone to throw another event, but when we next do get a dry, sunny day, use your gardens – they are common good land, and you own them.

Another event of this past week was Aberdeen Voice’s 2nd anniversary drinks held in Ma Cameron’s, where the idea for AV was launched.

Members of local band Toxik Ephex had been talking about the need for an independent  newspaper, and two years later Fred Wilkinson and a host of volunteers are keeping AV going.

People came and went over the course of the night; we were pleased to see some of the Aberdeen cyclists, a member of the Silver City Surfers, and in particular Anthony Baxter.   Baxter has a new version of ‘You’ve Been Trumped’ about to start a UK and North American tour (details elsewhere in Aberdeen Voice) with new footage of The Donald.

All of these positive developments are enough to sap a girl of any sarcasm.  Thankfully, there are always a few banking, tax, trident, deer cull scandals to keep me on track.  So, without further hesitation, here are a few definitions.

White Cliffs of Dover: (noun, Eng. geography) A steep, dramatic chalk cliff face on the South of England.

The iconic White Cliffs of Dover are in the news this past week; some NIMBYS are objecting to a proposed housing development near them.

The Cliffs also have some problems with erosion, but the main issue of course is that they are not accessible.  There is no access for the  able-bodied, let alone people with any mobility issues, and to be honest, the connectivity is just not there.

If the cliffs could just be raised (or would that be lowered?) to street level, and a bosque, theatre  and parking be thrown in, they might just be onto something there.  As to refusing a housing development, well, that would mean that England is not open for business.

Craig Whyte: (Proper Noun, possibly Improper noun) – a colourful character.

Oh dear, could it be that Craig Whyte is not whiter than white?  The would-be king of Rangers has had one or two previous problems in the boardroom.  This would-be white knight  sadly no longer looks set to take over Rangers.  Private Eye magazine unkindly suggests that someone with a failed directorship or two is not a fit person for the Rangers role.

Indeed they are correct; Whyte’s considerable talents would be used to best advantage in central government.

To add to this week’s colour theme, it would seem that Green owns the club, but Brown is trying to make the fans see  red, and opt for a buyout.  Will Rangers ever be in the black again?  It is currently a bit of grey area.

Whitewash: (verb, mod English) to cover up bad news, dilute the truth, gloss over facts for political, personal or monetary gain.

Aberdonians and UK taxpayers will be most unfamiliar with this term, and Old Susannah thought you might like to know more about it.  It will be difficult, but I shall try and find some examples.

On the national level, there have been one or two little Inquiries which have unjustly been described as being whitewashes.

There was the Hutton Inquiry into the small matter of how a bland dossier about Iraq was magically transformed into a document proving Sadam Hussein was about to use his Weapons of Mass Destruction on the UK, and would only need 45 minutes to wipe us  out.  This Inquiry found that changing a report into a justification for waging war was a bit naughty, but was fair enough.

No less a person than Alasdair Campbell said he defended ‘every word’ of the ‘sexed-up’ dossier.  Why bother to have an Inquiry at all I wonder?  If the man who wrote the thing for his boss Tony Blair says it’s above-board, then who are we to question it?

We’ve also had the Levenson Inquiry, a great spectacle for the whole family.  One frail little old pensioner, a Mr R Murdoch is cruelly being asked questions about newspaper reporters hacking into phonecalls and emails.  The poor Australian gent keeps telling the investigators he can’t remember anything, but they keep asking him questions.

Just because he and his family own the newspapers which carried out the illegal spying is no reason to think he’d know about it or be in any way responsible for it.

Are there any whitewashes going on here in the Deen?  Let’s think.  The city has been totally transparent over the Tullos Hill deer cull; they pride themselves on their transparency and consultation with the people; quite good of them really.

Freedom of Information requests are answered immediately and clearly.  It’s not as if the FOI officers are waiting until the last moment to supply information, or that the information they supply contradicts information they’ve previously released.   Surely they have nothing to hide?

Were the city in the right to have guns blazing on a hill used by families, motorcyclists, animals and indeed the occasional free-range arsonist without giving warning?  The mainstream press quoted a ‘council spokesperson’ as saying ‘there was no legal requirement’ for any warning signs.  Has this whitewash covered the matter sufficiently?  We shall see what the public and the authorities think.

White Collar Crime: (Modern English phrase)  to commit a non-violent, financial criminal offense.

WE must pause to think of those in our society who are being asked to go without, who are being forced to justify their dependence on State handouts.  Yes, I am worried about our banking sector.

We clearly did not give them enough of a bail-out, in fact, they can’t even afford decent IT systems, and some financial institutions are  experiencing problems with their electronic banking and cash machines.  I do hope none of the bankers will be terribly inconvenienced by people demanding money.

Sometimes however, when forced to the wall, a banker will have no alternative but to turn to crime.  It is because we do not have a caring mentality, and because we do not yet have ‘The Big Society’ (whatever that is) which Cameron wants that poor Barclays was forced to what certainly looks like white collar crime.

Unkind authorities are asking for £290,000,000 from the Barclays group for a wee matter of its fixing interest rates.  What’s the problem?  I thought we wanted fixed interest rates?  Unfortunately the bank seems to have given false information about rates it was borrowing money at.  Firstly, £290,000,000 is really small change, in fact, it would only get you two granite webs at today’s rates.  Secondly, how is a poor bank like Barclay’s going to get its hands on this kind of money?

I think the taxpayer should voluntarily help this poor bank out.  After all, if we don’t do so voluntarily, no doubt the treasury will just give them our money anyway.  I believe there used to be a commercial with Mr Bean with the repeating phrase ‘Well, thank you BARCLAYCARD!’.  Barclays, thank you indeed.

Old Susannah is going to have to cut it there, as she is in Edinburgh – and the sun is out.

Next week:  A look at some of the little arguments within Council Chambers.

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Jun 272012
 

You’ve Been Trumped,  the highest rated documentary in UK history, will receive its official cinema release in Scotland just days before the ‘star’ of the film can hit the first golf ball on his troubled development near Aberdeen. With thanks to Anthony Baxter.

The feature, which scooped up 10 major awards during its global festival run, premieres on Friday July 6th in the home of golf, St. Andrews.

This will be followed by an unprecedented cinema run in Aberdeen, Inverness, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Dundee, Stirling and the Highlands and Islands.

The film will also play in London and selected theatres elsewhere in the UK before opening in the United States in August through Manhattan based International Film Circuit. 

Hollywood star Alec Baldwin, who is a ‘great admirer’ of the film, has asked to host a screening during You’ve Been Trumped’s premiere week in New York.

The brand new cinema release version of the film, given a PG rating by the British Board of Film Classification, features fresh scenes – including a moment where Mr Trump appears uncertain as to whether his golf course is situated on the east or west coast of Scotland.  It also features a beautiful, but scathing, song by Scots folk favourite Karine Polwart.

Director Anthony Baxter, who recently received an apology from Grampian police for being thrown in jail while making the film, says:

 “The timing is no accident.  We felt it was essential to get the film in front of the Scottish public before Mr Trump’s global hype machine churns into action.  And what better place to open the film than St. Andrews, where you really do find the best golf course in the world.”

Donald Trump’s publicity efforts seem not to be as effective as they once were.  After a disastrous appearance at the Parliamentary committee looking into wind farms Mr Trump has had to change his plans for his opening fourball, which he once predicted would include Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond and Sir Sean Connery.  According to press reports, both men are avoiding the launch of the development on July 10th.

Meanwhile emeritus Professor Paul Cheshire from the London School of Economics, the leading economist who predicts in You’ve Been Trumped the economic benefits promised by Mr Trump and Mr Salmond would never materialise, says he has been proven right and that Donald Trump’s objections to wind farms are a diversion.

“Mr Trump seems to be using the offshore wind farm plan as a way of saving face while kicking sand in the face of the Scots.  The people of Aberdeenshire have sadly lost a habitat of wild beauty for no noticeable economic gain.”

“Thus far, only a handful of full time jobs have been created by the resort, just a fraction of the 6,000 promised by Mr Salmond and Donald Trump.”

Leading geomorphologist, Dr Jim Hansom of the University of Glasgow, who gave evidence against the Trump plans at Scotland’s Parliament on behalf of Scottish Natural Heritage, is warning fellow Scots not to be fooled by glossy newspaper and TV images of green fairways.

“What was once a wild, dynamic and inspirational place is now just another manicured and polished piece of coastal real estate.  Mountains of sand trucked in and bulldozed into shape are concealed by a superficial veneer of golf-course green.  A human-made place and a wilderness destroyed.”

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May 242012
 

By Bob Smith.

Some fowk doon Govan wye
Wi sad facies hiv bin seen
Fair dumfoonert aboot the news
Gers saved bi a mannie GREEN
.
Noo things cwid hae bin affa worse
An fair added ti Blue Noses plight
If Charles G an Craig W jined forces
Gers wid be ained  by Green an Whyte
.
The hail thing his noo becum
Jist like a  Brian Rix farce
They micht lan in liquidation
Sic a richt kick up the arse.
.
Seems Trumpie he wis sniffin aboot
Myn his auld mither cam fae Tong
Bit “The Donald” seen skedaddled
Fin Gers finances gid aff a pong
.
He widna hae hid windfairms
Doon the wye o Copeland Road
An he cwid hae biggit a big hoosie
On Murray Park as his new abode
Wull the SPL becum a coordly bunch
If  a New Co rises fae the mire
An vote ti keep the “licht blues” in
Lichtin Scottish Fitba’s funeral pyre
.
Fan’s wull think iss is the eyn
O sportin integrity in the game
A helluva lot hiv noo threatened
Ti bide awa an stey at hame
.
A final thocht as ti new ainers
Gers fans wid lose aa hope
If een o the fowk in the consortium
Wis the video film mannie Tim Pope
.
We maan tho hae some peety
Decent Gers fans fin it nae funny
A fyow eers they’ve bin supportin
A team wi nae bliddy money
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

.
Image Credit © Copyright G Laird and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence

May 032012
 

By Bob Smith.

“The Donald” wis doon at Holyrood
Agin winfairms he did rail
Stop biggin aa thae turbines
Or yer tourism it’ll fail

Ye’ll spile the bonnie coastline
An wi me ye noo wull clash
Nae wird o connachin shiftin dunes
Fin an SSSI the chiel did trash

Trump says the warld’s aa laachin
At fit he sees as Scaatland’s folly
Fowk winna cum ti ma gowf course
An a’ve spint aa iss bliddy lolly

Royal Aiberdeen spoots oor Donald
Wull lose oot on gowf events
A win’ turbine it’ll spile the view
Fae the course an sponsors’ tents

The pledge a wis gien’s bin bruiken
“Nae winfairms wid be near Menie”
A’m dumfoonert an fair scunnered
An winna spen anither penny

Oor Eck cries “stuff an nonsense”
The mannie’s spikkin crap
His “The Donald’s” bluff an bluster
Geen a bittie ower the tap?

Wi aa the rigmarole at Holyrood
Donald playin his “Trump” cardie
It’s mair akin to yon Hollywood
Wi Donald an Eck as Laurel an Hardy
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Image credit:© Mark Rasmussen | Dreamstime.com …. 3 windmills

Apr 192012
 

Jeff Brodie has been volunteered to keep readers of Aberdeen Voice updated on Menie Dunes, renamed The Great Dunes of Scotland by Donald Trump, and on the antics of Trump and his cohorts of Trump International Golf Club Scotland (TIGCS).

Donald Trump approached the business of a building a golf course in NE Scotland very much as he approached his business dealings elsewhere, with a sense of showmanship, bluster, rudeness and outrageous claims. He boasted of creating “the greatest golf course in the world”.

He promised thousands of jobs and over £1bn investment.

No-one has ever attempted to build a golf course in the middle of a mobile sand dune system and the Menie course has been constructed on a Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI).

Scottish Natural Heritage notes:

“Large scale movements and associated redistribution of bare sand within the SSSI have been dramatic. The sand edge has migrated 200m inland during a 27 year period. The position of the northern margin in 1949 barely overlapped the 2006 position of the southern margin.”

Already there are signs that the sand is fighting back, inundating areas of newly-sown fairways and greens.

Europe’s first £100m course has now cost a paltry £6.5m according to audited accounts. His plans for a huge hotel and a small village complex appear to have been abandoned. There is still a large hole in the ground in Dubai, where he also had a hotel planned. George Sorial, filmed in Trump Tower, overlooking Manhattan, ventured the claim,

“For this project to be really great, we need to have a hotel, and I would challenge anyone to find a developer that would put a hotel on that site with some of the properties that are currently there in the states they are.”

So, to attract developers, he needs to clear all surrounding properties and intimidate the Scottish Parliament.

 Security guards continually patrol the ground, intimidating members of the public

His approach has been unorthodox, intimidating and, at times, bullying. TIGCS has taken unilateral action against neighbours, including threats of court action and alleged damage to private property. Behind the scenes, Trump Organisation staff have sneered and laughed at ordinary law-abiding residents who have never objected to the principle of a golf course development.

These residents only ever asked to be treated fairly and honestly, and to have their human rights to remain on their land respected. They want the right to live in their homes in peace and free from harassment and intimidation. Power and water supplies have been cut off without warning or explanation to intimidate residents. Trump even attempted to charge resident Molly Forbes legal expenses, until the Court of Session ruled that she was not liable.

Embankments have been bulldozed and trees have been planted on property boundaries to block out any view from both sides. The trees have often to be renewed, as, to no-one’s surprise, trees won’t take root in sand. Security guards continually patrol the ground, intimidating members of the public who use their right to roam on what was once publicly-accessible land. Work seems to progress on the site with permission being sought later.

Donald Trump is now playing with the First Minister, telling us he is a friend of the environment and that wind turbines would destroy the view from his golf course and the as yet-unbuilt hotel and houses. In a letter to the First Minister, he stated that: 

“wind turbines are not environmentally friendly and will destroy your country and its economy”

Members of the Scottish Parliament’s Economy, Energy and Tourism Committee have invited Trump to appear before them on April 25, after he decided to bankroll an anti-wind farm campaign “to save Scotland”.

Whether you are for or against wind turbines has no relevance here. Only the Scottish people, rather than an American businessman, can decide what is best for themselves. Do we need a billionaire to dictate our lives? I don’t think so.

The course, according to the sycophantic warblings of The Press & Journal, opens on July 10. With weekday green fees at £150 and weekend fees at £200, this is just what we need, when, in the same Aberdeen Journals Extra, they have vouchers for fourteen other golf courses for £12.

The land is owned by Trump International Golf Club Scotland Ltd, (TIGCS) incorporated on 21 October 2005, registered in Scotland under Company Registration Number SC292100 and whose registered office is 20 Castle Terrace, Edinburgh.

Accounts for the company have been lodged up to 31 December 2010. Over the five reported years

  • TIGCS has made operating losses totalling £2,780,521.
  • TIGCS has fixed assets of £13,155,690
  • TIGCS has debts of £16,579,963.

The accounts are abbreviated accounts in accordance with Section 444 (30) of the Companies Act 2006.

According to the accounts prepared up to and including 2008, the debts were owed to Mr Donald J Trump. In 2009 and 2010, it is not stated whether or not any of the directors are creditors.

The published accounts confirm that

  • Menie Estate was acquired for around £6.7 million
  • investment in the golf course since then has been £6,455,690

This is around a quarter of the figure provided by Trump’s spokeswoman Sarah Malone in November 2011.

Jeff acknowledges Andy Wightman and his blogsite as a source for much of this information
http://www.andywightman.com/trump/ and http://www.trippinguptrump.com/the-wightman-report-0

Mar 012012
 

Why is Donald Trump still a GlobalScot? asks Andy Wightman as he examines the Trumps’ current anti-wind energy stance and the aims and rules of GlobalScot status.

Donald Trump Jr arrived in Scotland on 28th February to further his father’s campaign against wind energy in Scotland.
His father has claimed in a letter to Alex Salmond that “foreign energy companies will destroy your country and economy” and that Mr Salmond “will single-handedly have done more damage to Scotland than virtually any event in Scottish history.”

 He goes on to say: 

“I have authorised my staff to allocate a substantial amount of money to launch an international campaign to fight your plan to surround Scotland’s coast with many thousands of wind turbines.”

One report suggests that he has allocated £10m to the campaign.

Mr Trump has also threatened to bring a lawsuit against the Scottish Government which would, he argues, delay the proposed European Offshore Wind Deployment Centre off the Aberdeenshire coast, and against which he has railed previously.

Now, renewable energy forms a major part of the Scottish Government’s economic strategy – as outlined in their Routemap for Renewable Energy in Scotland. Trump Sr has stated quite clearly that he intends to do all he can to frustrate this through an international multi-million pound campaign and by legal actions designed to delay an important experimental project. Trump Jr has arrived to carry out his father’s instructions and oversee the beginnings of this onslaught.

All of which is rather interesting in the context of a Scottish Government initiative to encourage international entrepreneurs’ support for Scotland’s economic future.

The GlobalScot network is a project of Scottish Development International (SDI) consisting of 746:

“successful executives located throughout the world. GlobalScots all have strong connections with Scotland. Each of them has a strong desire to see Scotland succeed in the global business arena”.

Currently, SDI is:

“not looking to grow the membership significantly – however we are currently looking to identify prospective members in the following sectors”. 

This list includes Renewable Energy, Offshore Wind, and Marine Energy.

No prizes for guessing what Ian Wood, Donald Trump, Stewart Milne, Brian Soutar and George Sorial have in common. Correct. They are all GlobalScots.

In April 2006, First Minister Jack McConnell invited Donald Trump Sr to become a GlobalScot. Donald Trump accepted the personal invitation and Mr McConnell stated:

“Donald has shown me a real passion for Scotland. He is a globally recognised figure who can help us to promote Scotland. I am delighted that he has taken up my offer. This is a good bit of business for all concerned.”

Membership of GlobalScot is: 

“by invitation only, personal and non-transferable.”

The published full list of members is interesting in that Trump Sr is not on the list. Has he resigned? However, Trump Jr is named. When was he invited? Surely he didn’t take over from his dad – as membership is non-transferable?

And where did George Sorial come from? Who invited him?

In Jack McConnell’s letter of invitation to Trump Sr, he wrote:

“I should welcome your participation in the GlobalScot programme because I believe that your experience, knowledge and skills can make a tangible impact on our economic development efforts.”

Which brings me to conclude with the title of this piece.

Why is Donald Trump still a GlobalScot?

Given that both Donald Trumps are funding an international campaign against Scotland’s economic interests and threatening lawsuits to frustrate important projects, it is surely inconceivable that Scottish Development International will now retain Trump as a member.

If they do not act, then the First Minister should, without delay, instruct SDI to withdraw Donald Trump’s and George Sorial’s membership of the GlobalScot network.

Feb 172012
 

Old Susannah looks at the Granite Web, and the impressive effort it has taken to spin.

By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho! Yet another vibrant and dynamic week in the Granite Web City.  Whilst Friends of Union Terrace Gardens, Aberdeen against Austerity, and Democracy Watch engaged in some inexpensive grassroots campaigning by flyer, the mysterious Vote for the CGP group pulled out all the stops and spent, spent, spent.

You could be forgiven for thinking that Northsound is playing City Garden Project commercials non-stop. The Art Gallery has a swish new display showing the Garden plan in its Alice-in-Wonderland perspective and garish colours, and issues of The Granite Web compete in the ugly stakes with the A3 VFTCGP colour flyer sent out before.

News reaches Old Susannah that visitors to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary are being cheered up no end by pro-City Garden Project posters on the walls. There is no escape at work either, as employees of Wood Group (no surprise really), Nautronix, and Taqa all seem to have received lovely e-mails from bosses hinting gently that they should vote for the CGP.

I do find it very touching that employers are looking after their employees so well and giving gentle guidance which puts no pressure on them at all.

Why do I call the VFTCGP members secret? Because I was told in so many words by the BIG Partnership, which does PR for this group and, coincidentally, the artwork for the CGP, that “if the members want to stay secret, it’s up to them.”

But before I return to my Myth-busting busting activities started last week – I only got through the first four of the ten Myths the CGP team say we’re suffering from – condolences to Rangers fans.

Was this one of the top Scottish clubs? Yes.

Will this leave a massive hole in Scottish football? Yes.

Will other sides face similar financial clubs? Looks like it.

I believe one tycoon is still paying some £60,000 of his own money each time his team plays. I do hope this mogul is not getting overly financially stretched. I’d again ask the question if Loirston Loch land – in a Special Area of Conservation – should really be turned into a 21,000 seat football ground with offices and museum in this climate.

  Donald’s granny was Scottish. This gives him good cause to call Alex Salmond ‘insane’

Well, I would ask, but the continuous concrete covering of anything green in Aberdeen seems unstoppable. Thankfully, we all have one tireless, gentle campaigner who is not giving up the fight for ‘Scotland’s heritage’. Step forward, Mr Donald Trump.

You might have seen one or two small news items saying that this gentle giant wants to build the galaxy’s greatest golf course on a no-doubt-underused stretch of coastline. He’s got rid of many of the view-blocking trees, but there are horrible plans to build windfarms offshore which could actually be seen by his guests, if you can believe that!

Now, windfarms don’t actually work very efficiently yet. The technology can, and should improve. But I guess we’re all agreed there are few things in life worse than being a rich golfer who might have to look at an offshore wind farm. For those people in favour of this kind of blot on the seascape, I would remind you that you’re forgetting something very important.

Donald’s granny was Scottish. This gives him good cause to call Alex Salmond ‘insane’ for supporting renewable energy. Please try to keep that in mind, thank you.

Finally, it might have been Valentine’s Day this week, but it looks like the May to December romance between Callum McCaig and Aileen ‘Ho’Malone is over. One of them is an over-blown, over-hyped, over-rated, naïve, headline-seeking soul, blissfully unaware that they are dangerously out of their depth. The other is Callum McCaig.

No more will they share a coalition; there will be no more romps on Tullos Hill; there will be no more late-night negotiations. Maybe yet the SNP will change its tune over the ridiculous cull of deer to plant trees that cannot possibly grow on Tullos Hill. Watch this space.

  the taxpayers’ side of this great granite garden bargain is to borrow £92m and pay the loan, and its interest, back over decades.

There is certainly a current in that direction, not least fuelled by public anger and the wasting of some £43,800 to date. Still, a break-up is hard to take. Final confirmation of this great bust-up comes in newspaper stories announcing that the coalition is still absolutely fine. I am thinking of offering my condolences to Mrs Robinson, sorry, I mean Aileen.

I’m still thinking on it. PS. Message to Irene – feel better soon!

And now back to debunking the debunking of the Myths. The City Garden Project seems to be the only entity that’s been presented with these Myths, and I commented on the first four last week. Here are a few choice words on the remaining five Myths. Thank you CGP for printing these not-at-all-wild and not-at-all-made-up Myths – we’re all really onside now. Their comments are in bold. Old Susannah’s are in regular type

5. It will cost the taxpayer millions of pounds – FALSE.

Sure. All this happens for free, and you’ve not paid a penny, and you won’t pay a penny. I wonder if the CGP forgot about the £422,000, or probably more, of taxpayers’ money Scottish Enterprise has already spent on this project? And, no doubt, our CGP friends don’t think it matters that some of your city councillors voted to set aside up to £300,000 of your money for legal costs.

Old Susannah is still mulling that one over. A billionaire is ‘giving’ Aberdeen £50m, but there isn’t enough money on his side of the fence to pay the legal costs the city will incur? So, rather than getting granny a new wheelchair, or providing 24/7 care at homes which have just announced cuts etc etc, Wood wants your £300,000. But this £722,000, nearly quarter of a million pounds, is small change.  we’re going to chop down existing, healthy trees, thus getting rid of wildlife that’s called the trees home for decades, if not centuries

Multiply that figure by ten and you get close to the amount of interest on the loan Aberdeen City Council has to sign for this project to go ahead, according to one of last night’s radio show speakers. Thanks to Original FM (on 105FM) for hosting last night’s debate. Anyway, the taxpayers’ side of this great granite garden bargain is to borrow £92m and pay the loan, and its interest, back over decades.

If the 6500 new jobs don’t come in and we don’t make £122m each year (I can’t wait to see how this happens), if we go over budget, if anything goes wrong – then it will cost us an unknown additional amount of money in repayments. The trams fiasco has reached a cost of nearly one billion pounds.

But this won’t cost you a cent. Honest, guv.

6. Fake, plastic trees – FALSE.

It’s a great Radiohead song but a lousy Myth. It has been suggested that fake plastic trees will be planted in the City Gardens to act as vents for the giant car park underneath. If any fake trees are seen they will be beside the flying pigs. 186 new trees will be planted, some of them mature and many will be Scots Pines.

Old Susannah doesn’t know where to start with this alleged Myth. She does find it reassuring to find that a job in public relations entails so much creative writing talent. I know of no-one who’s heard of plastic trees being part of the plan. However, if we’re building underground, then we’ll need plants with very tiny root systems. Goodbye 250-year old elm trees, one of only a few surviving clusters of elms free from disease, and home to wildlife. In comes progress. Who needs fresh air, wildlife, shade and beauty when you can have ramps?

   we’re going to chop down existing, healthy trees, thus getting rid of wildlife that’s called the trees home for decades, if not centuries

My favourite bit is the announcement that the trees stay in the Gardens forever, as wood chip and seating. Well, you can’t say that’s not sensitive to nature. Still, the BIG Partnership’s student placement has managed to make a meal of a non-existent plastic tree myth. Perhaps someone will explain how mature trees are going to be magically planted in the new Gardens?

Where will their roots go, as there is meant to be underground parking? How do we get to have a thriving pine forest in the city centre – something that doesn’t seem possible according to experts including local architects?

If Old Susannah has this right, we’re going to chop down existing, healthy trees, thus getting rid of wildlife that’s called the trees home for decades, if not centuries, plant some new trees, and have the world’s only pine forest in a city centre.

The pines must grow faster than genetically-modified Leylandii hedges if the drawings I’ve seen are correct, and of course, no-one can fault the accuracy of these precision drawings. I like the giant transparent child romping over the flowerbeds best. So, replacing grass and trees with grass, concrete and trees can be done for only £92m. RESULT!

7. It will cost people their jobs – FALSE.

As a result of the project a projected 6500 new jobs are to be created, not taking into account the hundreds of jobs that will come as a result of the construction. In addition, a transformed city centre will breathe new life across the city, helping us become a World Energy City long after oil and gas has run dry in the North Sea. Existing businesses will be retained meaning existing jobs will be safe-guarded.

These 6500 jobs are going to be wonderful! What will they be? Well, for openers we’ve seen how well Union Square has protected high street businesses. Our small high street shops are struggling whilst multinationals got a cheap rent deal in Union Square. But clearly what we need is….more shops. Surely there is nothing we’d rather do than shop, and you can’t have enough shops can you? It’s not as if a glut of shops will ever result in shop closures, price wars and endless sales, especially ‘Going out of business’ sales.

I wonder if there is any reason that a cafe culture has never really taken off in Aberdeen? Could it be that it’s often too cold, too windy or too rainy? Could it be because the City Council consistently refused to allow anyone to run a snack bar or coffee kiosk in the shelter of Union Terrace Gardens? Clearly not. One wave of the granite wand, and just like those convincing concept drawings, we’ll all be sitting outdoors in short-sleeved shirts, drinking decaf mocha lattes while Toto play on the brand new stage, in front of the existing indoor theatre.

Right. The taxpayer is propping up the AECC with extra money since it can’t make enough by holding events. Same for the Lemon Tree. But the new theatre won’t have any problems making a massive profit and creating loads of jobs.

 So, ‘how many theatres should a taxpayer prop up?’ is one question.

I for one can’t wait to sit through an outdoor electronic folk music competition in February. But, by winter, this theatre will be an ice rink, thereby competing with the ice rink the city tried to kill off before.

But no, there won’t be any harm to jobs. We’ll need people to cut down the trees and get rid of the wildlife. Then there will be jobs cleaning the graffiti off the Web. Yes, the Web will create more permanent jobs in small Aberdeen than the 2012 Olympics will create in Greater London. Rest as assured as I am on that point.

8. It will be entirely made from concrete – FALSE.

Obviously concrete will be used – would you like to relax, visit an exhibition or attend a concert on top of a cardboard box? The project has been carefully designed so there will be 95% more open, green space with a series of pathways providing access for people through, across and in and out of the gardens. These paths will be made of granite, crushed granite and wood.

By now, Old Susannah is finding the content of the dispelled Myths by BIG just a little bit patronising and smarmy. They thought they had to talk us out of believing in plastic trees. Now they explain that we need to sit on something more robust than a cardboard box. Thanks for that! Appreciated.

So, ‘how many theatres should a taxpayer prop up?’ is one question. ‘How many competing businesses should Scottish Enterprise suggest?’ is quite another. They used to have rules on displacement and suchlike, but these seem to have gone, probably about the same time as your employer started to tell you how to vote.

This project has been carefully designed. Of course it has. More green space, but somehow it manages to have a giant concrete, sorry, granite theatre which takes up some 15% minimum of the existing Gardens. They count the giant granite potato-crisp shaped thingy over the stage as green space.

 what if the architects were to give us some drawings showing how these ramps will work safely now rather than later?

Of course it won’t sustain any wildlife, and at best will be a thin wedge of sod over concrete, but if they want to call it green space, fine.

I guess these people call anything green space if they can colour it green with Crayolas on their paper plan.

Looking at the slope of the ramps both up and downwards, I’m wondering how the aged, infirm or wheelchair-bound are going to find this system easier than the current access. The current access could use an additional ramp and you could probably do this for less than £92m as well. For the truly baffled, there is ground level access on the north side, not far from the theatre. This is where vehicles somehow manage to get in.

Clearly there is no other way to ‘relax and visit an exhibition or attend a concert in this town.’ Let’s borrow £92 million and build this beauty.

9. There will be no railings in the Granite Web, people will fall from the paths – FALSE.

Safety will be paramount. The concept design shows the various walkways at different levels but the final design will show how these work safely. And, seriously, do you think any development in a country obsessed with health and safety would get off the ground without proper safety measures?

Our PR work placement is patronising us again. I might be old, but here’s a crazy idea – what if the architects were to give us some drawings showing how these ramps will work safely now rather than later? Are they going to be enclosed, and of course, not at all potential rat traps? Are they going to have fencing that somehow won’t look like Stalag 17? How will wheelchair users go up and down these steep ramps? Details, details.

Well, Old Susannah has run out of space for one week. We will return to normal definitions next week, and take a closer look at who is behind ‘Vote for the City Garden Project’. You will, of course, want to know what businesses are in this group, to make sure you can reward them with your custom. Or not.

Finally, many thanks to those brave business people who have stuck out their necks in favour of saving our city’s only unique, free, green garden.

That’s you, J Milne. It is appreciated.

Jan 272012
 

One of America’s biggest stars, Rosie O’Donnell, has admitted to millions that she was “moved to tears” by the hit feature documentary You’ve Been Trumped when the film’s director was the main guest on her show last week.

Footage of what the National Union of Journalists (NUJ) described as filmmaker Anthony Baxter’s “violent arrest” was broadcast across  America for the first time.

The broadcast prompted scores of outraged viewers to hit Twitter and Facebook to voice their anger at the actions of Donald Trump, the Scottish Government and Grampian Police.

On The Rosie Show, Baxter revealed how Freedom of Information requests made by the Sunday Herald have only heightened concerns that Grampian Police “have been acting like Donald Trump’s private security force”.  He also accused the force of carrying out a “whitewash cover up enquiry’ into his arrest.

The arrests of Baxter and his colleague Richard Phinney whilst making their film in 2010 prompted fierce criticism from the NUJ. The union described the police’s actions as “a breach of human rights” with “important implications for press freedom”.  

Meanwhile, O’Donnell is urging Americans to watch what she describes as “an amazing film”. She admits to crying during the scene where hundreds of people walk across the bulldozed dunes of the Menie Estate, to show of support for local resident Michael Forbes, accused by Mr Trump of “living like a pig in a slum”.

You’ve Been Trumped will be screened again in Chicago on 22 March, prior to its being rolled out for screenings in Europe as well as in Washington DC, Miami, New York, San Francisco, Arizona and other major American cities.

Clips from The Rosie Show…
http://www.oprah.com/rosie/The-Rosie-Show-Rosie-Takes-on-Trump

You’ve Been Trumped has won a total of eight international film festival awards

WINNER: Starz Denver Film Festival, USA
WINNER: Take One Action Film Festival, Scotland
WINNER: Michael Moore’s Traverse City Film Festival, Michigan
WINNER: DaKINO International Film Festival, Bucharest
WINNER: Hamptons International Film Festival, New York
WINNER: Edindocs Film Festival, Edinburgh
WINNER: Wild & Scenic Environmental Film Festival, Nevada City
WINNER: Sheffield International Documentary Festival UK

Michael Moore hand-picked You’ve Been Trumped for his Traverse City Film Festival in Michigan where it won the Special Jury Prize. It is now well on course to be the most successful cinema feature documentary ever produced in Scotland.