Loirston Archives - Aberdeen Voice

Old Susannah’s Journal No. 142 – Face Off

Jan 312014

Old Susannah aka Suzanne Kelly gets to grips with current news in the City of Culture.

Dictionary

The rains are lashing us, the sun never seems to shine, and I know we’re all thinking the same thing – wouldn’t it be great if we could hang around together in a civic square to celebrate.

Until such time a Toto are booked to play an outdoor show on the Sir Ian Wood Public Civic Square and Car Park, I’ll have to make do with some excellent acoustic music at BrewDog on Tuesday evenings (and the prototype beer Intersteller is rather fine, too). Congrats to BrewDog and all its 237 staff for creating some real jobs, real revenue, and of course real craft brews.

I did have a few beers to console myself – Led Zeppelin won Rock Album of the Year at the Grammys; I’d been rooting for Justin Beiber all the way. Maybe next time.

There is quite a bit of news this week, but when it comes to happenings in the Deen, I’m a bit stumped. I’ve been trying to get hold of a local newspaper all week, but when I go to the shops, I can only find architectural journals.

It seems that the most innovative thing since granite web ramps may be heading our way – we may get a glass-covered walkway and a second train station. Apparently the whole city favours these developments; how wonderful is that? The broken heart may yet be mended.

The air quality in Aberdeen may be cumulatively the worst in Scotland, according to those left wing Friends of the Earth people, but just think though – if we cover part of Union Street with a glass canopy, then we won’t have to worry about the outdoor air quality any more. I can practically hear you say ‘connectivity’ out loud, too.

I’d no idea there were so many architectural experts writing for the P&J, and yet only one architectural firm, Halliday Fraser Munro, is of sufficient merit to be worth writing about. Perhaps there are dozens of other firms employing draftsmen and designers to work for free making grand drawings and sending them to ACSEF and Aberdeen Journals hoping for cover stories.

If so, I guess they’re just not as good as the glass ceiling and the glass pyramid near the former Union Terrace Gardens, which looks set to be a concrete slab where we can all get together.

there is a scandalous move to install the Golden Eagle as the national bird of Scotland

Precisely what we’ll all be getting together to do other than shop or park, and when the window of opportunity will come weather-wise, are questions that Halliday Fraser Munro have yet to answer. Keep reading the architectural digest formerly known as The Press & Journal, no doubt all will be revealed.

While it’s not like me to be critical or ask questions, this all somehow seems just too beautiful, creative and wonderful to be true.

In a nutshell, our beating heart needs new life and a facelift to be forward facing, but we can get rid of the green lungs UTG provides, and just ignore the air quality. Perhaps it’s time for some face-related definitions.

But first, there is a serious issue which the Conservative Party’s Jackson Carlaw (no, I haven’t heard of him before now, either) brought up at Holyrood: there is a scandalous move to install the Golden Eagle as the national bird of Scotland. I’m sure you’re as surprised as I am, but no – they haven’t all been poisoned yet. Of course you’ll be as outraged by this affront as I am – obviously the Golden Eagle of Scotland is synonymous with the Nazis of the 1940s.

According to the Herald Scotland, Carlaw wants us to have the Robin instead (which also is a species in decline). Carlaw said :

“The golden eagle is the symbol of an empire that once invaded large parts of Scotland, and more recently of another empire that tried to”

It is not clear in the above sentence whether he was referring to the Nazis, the Romans (who never did anything for us), or the Conservatives.

When I contacted a Jewish friend of mine for an indignant quote about the scandalous suggestion to associate Scotland’s Golden Eagles with Scotland, they said:

“Are you sure you have this right Suzanne?”

I wonder if this association with bad birds was behind the Stewart Milne desire to ‘discourage’ our only city centre pair of Peregrine Falcons from their former Triple Kirks home. He applied for and got permission (big surprise there) to get the birds ‘discouraged’ – i.e. moved on from their roost over UTG when Milne owned Triple Kirks.

Lucky for Aberdeen Milne did so – we could have been associated with Falcons, the Maltese Falcon and the Millennium Falcon if we hadn’t got rid of the birds.

I for one will go to sleep tonight safe in the knowledge that the Conservative Party, having already done so much for Scotland and the UK still has such tireless energy that it can solve our economic problems, support our struggling bankers, care for our environment, and make sure we’re not associated with the Romans or the Nazis because of our Golden Eagles.

If you’re forward looking, you’re cool, happening, modern and with it

With Aberdeen set to demonstrate its love of seagulls with glass covered streets so we can see the birds, and of course experience the beautiful quality of their droppings, I think we should give Carlaw’s brave stance the respect it is due.

Time for some definitions.

Forward Looking: (old-fashioned Aberdonian public sector phrase) – a phrase used to convince the public the city is not backwards looking.

It’s no wonder we are building such amazing glass structures and getting rid of our old, boring granite buildings; we’re forward looking after all. Previous councils said so, so it must be true. Here is an example of the phrase in a sentence from council documents:

“The delivery of the Council New Build Programme is a key objective of the Council’s Vibrant, Dynamic and Forward Looking policy;” from ACC_Contract_Award_comm_report_phase_1_Byron_Parkfinal

(The above phrase comes from documents which they tried to withhold. This was to stop us from knowing how much money one of our illustrious, if follicley-challenged, builders was making from us at the same time as he was buying property from the city for a fraction of its value. A free ticket to an Aberdeen Football Club match goes to the first reader who successfully guesses who I’m referring to).

If you’re forward looking, you’re cool, happening, modern and with it. You also probably want to build cubes with glass curtain walls.

The phrase appears in numerous council documents, although strangely not in any from the time the city was creating Marischal College, St Nicholas Kirk or the Citadel. Rest assured, we’re looking forward. We may be going backward in terms of aesthetics, environment and creativity, but we’re looking forward anyway.

Old Face Syndrome: (modern English phrase) – a common facial trait whereby the corners of the mouth turn perpetually downward in a frown rather than smiling.

This phenomenon may be as old as Sir Ian, but it’s only recently been given a name. Apparently despite our current economic success, equality, fair system of justice and transparent, accountable governments, some people seem to frown. Shocking.

But perhaps there is a more apt local definition of ‘Same Old Face Syndrome?’ The Aberdonian definition is for ACSEF, Aberdeen Journals Ltd and the City to continue to rely on and listen to the Same Old Faces. Need a City of Culture Bid? Let Rita Stephen do it all. Need a quote about how the city’s retail is in trouble? Ask forward-facing Michie the Chemist to supply one (preferably standing in front of his avant-garde shop window).

Need someone to tell us the obvious truth that Donald Trump has brought millions of pounds and thousands of jobs to Aberdeenshire? Get hotelier Spence to tell us about his 93% increase in guests (in the 30 or so rooms in the hotel he’s selling). Need someone to tell us we need to keep building new identikit houses in the greenbelt? Ask impartial Stewart Milne.

Yes, it’s old face syndrome around here as far as I can tell. Still, as they say, ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ – so I guess we’ll keep listening to the same collection of successes.

About Face: (Eng Phrase) – to change direction or decision abruptly

Back when Stewart Milne wanted to get rid of all that boring, underused open space at Loirston Loch to put up a new stadium which all of the AFC fans wanted, one of the forces objecting was the Labour Party.

Labour’s Richard Baker put in an objection to the plan – yet when the official papers were published, only MSP Brian Adam’s objection was printed. Kate Dean sent me an email denying Baker sent anything in, but Richard proved successfully that his objection had been emailed in advance of the deadline.

It was all OK though, that the large public meeting didn’t get Baker’s objection, because Kate apologised after the fact. Calamity Kate (as the mainstream media were then calling her) ran a public consultation, acting as convener, despite her involvement with the local Cove Bay football team, which would have benefitted had the scheme gone ahead. Ah, those were the days.

Nowadays, we know that a huge number of birds of different species depend on Loirston Loch for water and habitat. We know that meadowland, an area which supports our threatened but very necessary bees, is the fastest-disappearing type of habitat. We know that Wellington Road, which turns into the dual carriageway at Loirston, is one of our most heavily polluted roads. We also know about urban sprawl and how important green space is to health and well-being.

Therefore it is something of an about face that there is widespread support cross party for developing Loirston as a housing estate. Was Baker acting on his own at the time of his objection? Do Labour care about the remaining environment more than profit? Draw your own conclusions. http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/news/local/planners-back-1-067-new-homes-for-aberdeen-1.174468

Next week: more reviews of the undoubted further http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/news/local/planners-back-1-067-new-homes-for-aberdeen-1.174468exciting architectural news from our local papers.

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ACSEF – Securing Investment For Success

Aberdeen City, Opinion 2 Responses »

Sep 132012

By Andrew Watson.

Where do I start? I have to be frank and say that I’m not particularly knowledgeable about the ins and outs of the City Garden Project and other megabucks initiatives that seem to have been put on ice by the Aberdeen City Council administration.

However, I have an opinion on most of these things, regardless of my sometimes shocking lack of insight.

You see, I voted in favour of the proposal to change irrevocably the landscape of Union Terrace Gardens, and, of course, the city centre itself, because I’m a contrarian by nature.

I was totally fed up with people seeming to bemoan the loss of the heart of Aberdeen, a reference to our great Victorian architectural heritage. Did anyone ever use the Gardens before Ian Wood came along with his £50m? Alternatively, I suppose, would it not cost more than, say, £100m to bring the Gardens to street level? However, why were the proposals thrown out when a public vote, albeit a narrow one, wanted them to happen?

I could have sworn that it was only at that point that the Gardens, admittedly an island of green amidst a sea of cold, grey granite, had anyone taking notice of them. Now they’re holding placards. Better late than never.

Anyway, I digress.

Friday 7 September, was the day when I was meant to have a rather innocuous look at ACSEF’s AECC conference Securing Investment for Success.

Tom Smith, ACSEF chairman, said:

“Our economy continues to punch well above its weight compared to other regional economies in the UK. Yet the public funding we receive is not commensurate with this economic contribution. We are in the process of confirming a strong line-up of public and private speakers and are looking forward to a robust debate and some strong recommendations and potential solutions coming out of this summit.”

Fair enough. A push towards The Big Society? Very nice.

A public consultation? After all, ACSEF is funded by Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire taxpayers.

Not a chance. Just senior managers from the business community, Council officials and local MPs and MSPs.

Despite this, I was told I shouldn’t have too much problem getting in. Well, you’d have thought so. But no, two invited delegates, who couldn’t make it, and from whom I tried to gain delegation, couldn’t help either. One had invited his brother instead. No problem.

“What about you, Iain Richardson?”

“Yeah sure, will ping an email to Katrina Dunbar, Events Director with the Big Partnership”

‘Hi Katrina

Thanks, I’d like to pass my place on to Andrew Watson, please.

All the best

Iain’

I have seen this very email, sent to Katrina by Iain Richardson, stating that he was more than willing to pass his invitation on to me.

Katrina responded:

‘Hi Andrew

The communication I had with Iain Richardson, from what I could recall, is that he was planning to send the invite on to other contacts but we are within our rights to restrict entry to those who are not representing business as I previously stated. I’m afraid that I am only stating the guidelines that I have been given in terms of entry to the Summit.’

Concluded with a rather curt ‘trust this settles the matter’. Our only hope, to be honest, is that our business people represent the thoughts and feelings of the general Aberdeen public as best they can, and I have no doubt they will. However, it doesn’t present the full picture, does it?

Which brings another of Mr Contrary’s bugbears to the forefront

Why were the proposals for my beloved Aberdeen FC chucked out? Pittodrie’s crumbling, or so I’ve been told. Cue angry responses, including from me. I can’t help but feel, rather flippantly, without our slice of Dubai rock in UTG, and without our modern stadium in Loirston, you know, getting with the times and all that, are we forever to be relegated to provincial town status?

Don’t get me wrong, part of me, a defiance rooted somewhere in Teuchterville, wants this always to be the case. I don’t claim to know all the answers, but I know this cannot go on forever, and it irks me somewhat that not more of a concerted effort is being made towards public consultation, rather than just a yap between businessmen and councillors.

Take the proposed pedestrianisation of Union Street, or even the Loirston proposals.

The hub of our one-street town grinds to a halt most days, never mind when the International Market takes place on Union Terrace. What will divert crowded traffic elsewhere? A bypass, perhaps? Is that going even to happen? What about surgery for the Haudagain artery? A long-term chronic heart problem for our city, if we’ve ever had one!

Loirston needs serious work. Where is the infrastructure in the area to support the stadium proposals and the crowds, cars, and busloads of fans transferred from King Street to Cove? Would we be not better taking the stadium somewhere else, which already has easy access in, out and away from the city centre? With common sense, would infrastructure projects like these really have the combined cost of £900 million, mooted by ACSEF?

How about asking bus, truck, lorry and taxi drivers what they think should be done? Or hell, have a consultation of commuters, for all I care. Just get it done!

I’m afraid my generation is the one likely to have to pay for this convoluted ‘granite web’, and the £900 million building plan ACSEF has announced is one bitter pill for the heart.

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An Interview With Ben Hukins

Aberdeen City, Featured, Sport No Responses »

Sep 072012

Ben Hukins gives Voice’s Suzanne Kelly the run-down on his background, races, interests and opinions on Aberdeen’s hot topics.

I meet Ben at Café 52. I’ve been running (it was a Thursday and getting around town on Thursday evenings at rush hour is always problematic) and am somewhat out of breath.

Ben is a local runner with a number of local races and victories under his belt.

He has a girlfriend who is now into running, several cats, a rabbit which has chewed through his mobile phone charger, a father who used to be a professor at Aberdeen University and opinions on the day’s issues.

Unsurprisingly the Olympic Games is our first subject for discussion:

“As a sporting event it was fantastic. I was actually quite surprised we did so well… my girlfriend and I saw several events including some of the women’s running events. I felt like getting on the track and running.

“There was negative press and commercialism…when you have companies like Dow Chemicals involved… but all the negatives such as transport and security – all of that was forgotten. As a sporting event it was fabulous. You couldn’t leave an event without wanting to go run round the track. We watched the women’s marathon on the street. Everyone just got a huge buzz out there.

“The running track is going to stay. There was a huge debate over the stadium with Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham – the West Ham solution was the best. Luckily in the end international bodies intervened.”

But are kids today being active?

“People in my generation all kind of grew up outdoors playing, playing football. Even when computer games were starting up, most people still went out to play as well.”

We get into some early background history. Ben is a Liverpool fan, although he grew up in Manchester before his family moved to Aberdeen. His dad got a position in Aberdeen University and he and his mother moved to Aberdeen once Ben finished his A levels (one week after his 18th birthday).

Ben studied electrical engineering, stayed to work in the energy sector and is now the only member of his family still in Aberdeen. His girlfriend recently took up running.

We then get to Scottish football and the future of Rangers:

“I actually read quite a lot; the actual administration process was interesting; there was so much written about it.”

east_distrcit_xc_league_livingston-ben-hukins

We talk about running – Ben is about to be put in the ‘veteran’ age group for running purposes. He recently ran the Baker Hughes 10K, which is a big charity event.

“It’s great because you get a whole spread of people. There is a guy from Greenock who goes to every single race in a clown’s costume. He must have raised quite a lot of money for charity.”

And if Ben is running competitively?

“I normally take it easy, but I like to get up 4 hours before a race starts. I just have breakfast and get ready.”

Ben enjoyed the Stonehaven half marathon in particular and he discusses some other races:

“It’s a great atmosphere and it’s very well organised. I’m doing the Loch Ness Marathon at the end of September. In April I went to Rotterdam and I’ve been to France. I enjoyed the Champagne region. There are marathons in so many places in the world… I really want to go to America.”

We get around to some of the environmental issues of the region:

“One of the reasons I like Aberdeen is the green space. In no time at all you can get out of Aberdeen into some great countryside. You see the current plans and proposals and it’s like greenbelt means nothing.

“They were going to destroy Loirston. The leadership of the recent council has given me great cause for concern towards the destruction of the greenspace. There was just no joined up thinking. “

I can’t offer any argument against these sentiments. We discuss Tullos Hill:

“There is so much propaganda and misinformation. Tuesday night, for the first time in a long, long, time, I saw deer. The council said there were 28 living in the area. They killed 34. It was clearly a migratory population.”

[note: at the time of publishing, the total looks closer to 44.]

Ben and I note the change in the council and the lack of LibDem representatives in Torry/Ferryhill and Altens post -election. We discuss UTG:

“The ‘For’ (pro granite web) campaign had more money, more press. P&J is clearly pro development of Union Terrace Gardens, shown in the way they aimed their headlines and articles.”

Again, no argument from me.

Ben does as much working out in the out of doors as possible:

“I am a member of a gym which I use sporadically – I’m involved in the STV appeal. They’re trying to cover 10,000 miles on the treadmill. I’ve been doing running; for a fiver I’ll go and do your section of running for you – I’m up to 14 so far.

“You don’t have to join a gym. If you don’t like the gym, don’t do it. These days there so many sports you can do in Aberdeen at RGU and the sports village and other venues.”

STV’s charity event hopes to raise £5,000 by having people donate money for miles run on the treadmill at The Warehouse Health Club on Mearns Street which has organised a treadmill relay where they aim to cover 10,000km – the length of the Scottish coastline. They have already started the run and expect to take around a month to complete the distance.

For full details and to help, visit http://campaigns.stv.tv/stv-appeal/about-us/latest-news/312977-aberdeen-gym-hits-the-treadmill-in-aid-of-the-stv-appeal/

We are in touch after the interview as we didn’t get a chance to discuss the amazing, moving Paralympics. But two recent Scottish running events have had serious issues. A man collapsed and died in the recent Glasgow run and several people had to be airlifted from Ben Nevis.

Ben had this to say:

“I ran the Glasgow event on a number of occasions and it is a very well organised, excellent event. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding the death and it is obviously a great shame, however, from my experience of the event I believe that the organisers will have done everything they could to have prevented this unfortunate incident.

“With regards the Ben Nevis event, I really don’t know much. Unfortunately fell running is a sport with its inherent risks and all competitors are aware of these. Race organisers do their best to manage all the risks as far as reasonably practical. Running isn’t a dangerous sport.”

No, running isn’t a dangerous sport. It is a means of keeping fit that everyone can afford to do, all ages and sexes can enjoy running to their individual abilities and, as the Paralympics have shown, running can change peoples’ lives for the better. ‘What’s not to like?’ as the saying goes.

All the best to Ben in his upcoming races. We will be following his progress and will try and catch up with him figuratively, as catching up literally might take some doing.

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Trumpie The Don?

Creative Writing, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Aug 032012

By Bob Smith.

The mannie Trump a Dons fan?
Gweed sakes an michty me
If he turns up at a match
Wull the bugger git in free

Trump No 1 wis on the shirt
T’wis presintit by Dod Yule
A suppose noo we’ll likely see
Trumpie’s lackies haen a drool

Foo muckle mair hiv we tae thole
O iss fawnin an forelock tuggin
Bi some Aiberdeen business chiels
Noo a fin iss maist affa buggin

The new fitba pitch at Loirston
Micht be Trump International Stadium
The mannie wid be mair at hame
As a comic at the London Palladium

“Cum on ye Trumps” cwid be the cry
If the billie buys ower oor club
Iss thocht wid gie ma nichtmares
Ma season ticket a wid hae tae scrub

Fit a lot o bliddy nonsense
A hear the AV readers cryin
Jist myn far ye read it first
If Trumpie he cums a-buyin

©Bob Smith “ The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Old Susannah No. 80: Alphabet Soup, And A Farewell

Creative Writing, Satire and Humour 1 Response »

Jun 072012

Voice’s Old Susannah comments on current events and enlightens us with definitions of some tricky terms with a locally topical taste. This week, more ABZ ‘A to Z’, some ATOS, and thoughts on the sad loss of a Voice colleague. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho! It’s all been happening up and down the country, and whatever you think of the Jubilee, isn’t it grand that our ConDems have got the unemployed something to do. Not only have they apparently been given important (albeit temporary) jobs as stewards at Jubilee events, but our government employment arm has combined this great work experience with a holiday.

Lucky invitees from the ranks of the unemployed enjoyed several days in London, camping under the stars (and a tiny bit of rain) to help run Jubilee events. I have nothing against the Jubilee itself, and it is great to see people getting back to work.

Soon some of our lazier unemployed, including MS and cancer patients, will be given suitable jobs too; all thanks to our Coalition and ATOS, the kind (foreign) organisation which assess who’s fit for work and who’s not (and gives work to absolutely all of these people anyway).

While the layabouts got to layabout in lovely tents in London, it’s come to our attention that Conservative co-chairperson MP Lady Warsi was roughing it as well. While this frugal woman would apparently stay in cheap B&Bs or kipped on a friend’s sofa (as befits someone of her office), she’d put in expense claims for the maximum amount allowable, and seems to have travelled to Pakistan with a relative/business partner in tow. Result!

Nothing wrong with having a bit of an earner now and then, as long as you’re not unemployed. Voice readers might like to know Warsi’s never won an election. Interestingly she was a ‘community cohesion’ guru of sorts (I’ll have to define ‘community cohesion’ sometime), despite some allegations that her election material was homophobic. It is a funny old world indeed, and we are extremely generous taxpayers.

Old Susannah was up in the lovely town of Helmsdale for a long weekend.

This pretty coastal town is missing several tricks however. There are no concrete high-rise buildings, no development plans, and not even a ring road. There are several grassy areas with no granite webs planned, and the seashore doesn’t have any bingo halls, amusement arcades or huge factories. And somehow, without so much as a single shopping mall, the people were friendly, cheerful and happy.

I met a lovely man nicknamed ‘Klondike Davy’ who took me panning for gold. I say he is nice, but one or two people in the town have ridiculed him in the past apparently. You see, he’s given prizes for the region’s highland games in the form of the valuable gold and garnet gemstones he’s found while panning.

The criticism from a minority, quite rightly, is that he’s given valuables and his time and efforts away for nothing. People like that, or who give money to charities, run parties in Victorian Gardens and so on just aren’t stimulating the economy and are obviously mugs.

Apparently some of the lovely schools are in the wrong place, even after all the 3Rs strategic planning and expensive consultants

We don’t need great acts of generosity, children having fun, family days in parks with music – we need to encourage businesses to come to Scotland. This can only be done by getting scroungers to work and by building granite webs. Perhaps in 20 years’ time people will still remember having a great day out or winning a unique, valuable gift of gold.

Or perhaps in 20 years’ time people will still remember people being generous to a fault. I know which I think is more likely.

Before we continue with our romp through ACC’s A to Z of its spectrum of services, spare a thought for our school children. Apparently some of the lovely schools are in the wrong place, even after all the 3Rs strategic planning and expensive consultants. I think we should close them all down and build new ones.

But if the children aren’t busy worrying about the unending cycle of exams they are expected to take, like so many dogs jumping through flaming hoops, another worry looms. No, not lingering asbestos in Walker Road School, now completely clear of contaminants (I’m sure). I can reveal that Aberdeen Football Club plan to give schools more unsold/unsellable tickets for the home games.

In this heart-breaking development, inconsolable youngsters were given the news they’ll be expected to pack the empty seats. One young person, close to tears, told Old Susannah

“It’s bad enough to know that AFC is our team and that soon we’ll build an even more empty stadium near Loirston Loch, but to actually have to sit through a match will be torture. Not to mention the cost of a coke and burger.”

Reports that child welfare agencies may step in are as yet unconfirmed. A further rumour suggests unemployed might be forced to attend games – but those surveyed so far have expressed a preference for sleeping in tents in the rain along the Thames.

Finally, Willows Animal Sanctuary needs help (the government only has funds for consultants), and it was such a pleasure to see a big help arriving in the form of Paul Rodgers and wife Cynthia.
(See article – ‘Willows Name New Patrons Paul Rodgers And Cynthia Kereluc’ in this weeks issue. )

The last time Old Susannah had seen Mr Rodgers (or ‘Paul’ as he said I should call him) was in the late 1980s, backstage at a concert for the Firm (if you don’t know – you should – Tony Franklin, Chris Slade, Jimmy Page and Paul Rodgers). John Bonham’s son Jason was the opening act (if memory serves this band of his was called ‘Virginia Woolf’ – but don’t quote me). Good times.

The couple are animal lovers to serious extremes, as I’ll describe next week. It was a pleasure to meet them and to visit all the animals at Willows (although I did forego the exotic insects). PS – The New Ark also could use our support.

Right – on with some more listings from the Aberdeen City Council’s matrix of services.

H is for Housing: – but to examine the city’s housing services, policies and expenditures – to say nothing of properties sitting empty – will take a bit more than a column to sort. Consider this on hold for now.

I is for Insects: – Yes, you guessed correctly – the link takes you back to the list of extermination services mentioned last week. I wonder if in the jungles on the equator so many insects and forms of vermin exist as must do here in Aberdeen.

J is for Jobs: – Yes, you can work for the council, and as an added bonus, the city will give you its beneficial assistance when it comes to knowing what you can and cannot complain about in public. The city has apparently told its employees not to get involved with protests over school closures, park destruction, turning Hazelhead into a recycling centre and so on.

The city kindly warns its employees what will happen if they turn whistle-blower, yet somehow seems not to tell them in what circumstances they are meant to be whistle-blowers (as covered previously). I would have expected to see a great deal of jobs for exterminators and pest controllers given the coverage this issue gets on the website, but no such jobs appear this week.

There are jobs for trainee planners (which may interest some of our recently unemployed ex-councillors), and indeed a few vacancies for Freedom of Information Officers – hopefully filling these FOI posts will speed things up.

K is for Kerb: – Old Susannah wondered what would pop up when I clicked on the link for kerb: would it be a reference to the wonderful, smooth, well repaired and dog mess free kerbs we enjoy? Would it be a reference to our former councillor who was arrested for kerb crawling?

No – there is a procedure for changing your kerb. Do you want to go wide? Do you want to change it? Well, there is a dedicated person and procedure. Sleep well tonight in this knowledge.

L is for – actually lots and lots of things: – ‘literacy and numeracy’ spring up (good to know the city is numerate, even if it can’t keep track of its millions or the employees who have embezzled hundreds of thousands over the years), as does my favourite ‘Lord Provost’ (I wonder if the new one will be as frugal – and portrait-worthy as the previous?). L is for Local Plan, Local Development Plan, Local Transport strategy and so on.

But L is for litter. If you’ve wondered why our streets are the envy of Europe, it’s because of our policy:-

“…it is an offence to drop or leave litter in any public place even if thrown from a vehicle. City Wardens assist the local community in maintaining a clean litter free environment and are authorised to issue Fixed Penalty Notices should the need arise.” – Aberdeen City website

Well, I doubt the need will ever arise for a warden to issue a fixed penalty notice, but if you should ever encounter the rare spectacle of someone littering – like the guy wearing a council badge (he had dark hair and a beard) last Thursday evening who put his trash in the doorway of a closed store on Union Street), then call the city, the wardens will spring into action, and the litter will be cleared away.

But that’s enough for now on the alphabet. Time for something a bit serious and sad.

One of the Aberdeen Voice Team has passed away; you might have seen something about this on Facebook or elsewhere in the Voice. She will be sorely missed by friends, colleagues and her family. It was an unforeseen tragedy.

Can I please please urge anyone who is starting to be unhappy for any reason at all or dissatisfied with their life to open up about their feelings at an early stage. There is a friend, colleague or relative who wants to help you, I promise. They would be devastated if they lost you – believe me. If you’re too proud or too afraid to talk to someone in your life (which is totally understandable), then talk to a counsellor. But don’t let things get worse.

Like any problem, the best thing to do is get on top of it while it is still small. If things are already on top of you, then I’m begging you to do something constructive about it today.

A great deal has been done to break down the outdated stigmas attached to depression and other forms of mental illness. It is not a sign of weakness; it is not a sign of inferiority. Above all, it is something that can be dealt with.

Whoever you are, whatever side of the political or economic divide, you are valuable, you are needed, and you have contributions to make. Do please remember that.

Readers are invited to add their views on any issue in this article in the comments box below. Note – all comments will be moderated.

Old Susannah No. 79 – The A to Z of ABZ

Aberdeen City, Satire and Humour 3 Responses »

May 312012

Voice’s Old Susannah comments on current events and enlightens us with definitions of some tricky terms with a locally topical taste. By Suzanne Kelly.

Result! I am sure we have all been dancing in the streets as our benevolent UK coalition Government has decided NOT to introduce a tax on heated Cornish Pasties! What a relief! I feel much better now about the Government writing off millions of pounds in tax owed by Vodaphone (and others). You can’t say the ConDems didn’t look after us.

And here in Aberdeen, the P&J have launched a fantastic survey proving beyond any doubt that people still want the web at all costs (well, £140 million at a minimum).

We were blitzed by hugely expensive print and radio advertising saying the web will improve our lives, make us rich, and give us thousands of permanent jobs.

We were asked to pity poor Tom Smith (of ACSEF, City Gardens Trust, etc. etc.) who the press said had been the victim of harassment and illegal spying in the run-up to the referendum. We were not allowed to examine the voting records for evidence of potential fraud (even after people joked/boasted about selling votes) – but the referendum should be obeyed at all costs.

We don’t have the actual visuals showing what the web will look like when the ramps’ security features are up – but don’t let that worry you. We don’t have either a business plan, or architectural plans, and we can’t afford it – but let’s just go ahead anyway, as that will make Sir Ian happy.

Of course Labour always said they did not want a referendum and they pointed out it is not legally binding. Labour also said that if elected they would scrap the CGP – and miraculously they got elected.

Old Susannah would like to end any ambiguity regarding issues on which public opinion matters:

Public opinion does not matter on: Loirston Loch, cuts to services for the elderly or specially abled, school closures, policing, street cleaning, community centre management, programmes for young people; Tullos Hill and its deer; common good land; Redmoss green spaces; grounds of Cove Bay FC; Don Crossings and Union Terrace Gardens improvement.

Public opinion matters on: Putting a granite web over Union Terrace Gardens and chopping down its trees

I hope that helps.

Aside from Poor Mr Milne having problems with his fans revolting and Portlethen trash accumulation, the sun shone, and people in their hundreds flocked to the FUN Beach, in order to leave litter, barbeque grilles, paddling pools and rubbish in the sand.

Old Susannah asked a guy to dispose of his empty redbull can the other day; all I can say is at least he didn’t curse me out and just ignored me instead. Here’s to the people who join the organised beach cleans, and to the people who keep places like Torrymelinos clean on their own.

Now that we’re back to our usual weather, it’s time to get on with a look at Aberdeen City Council’s internet pages and its A-Z list of services. Visiting the Aberdeen City Council website and trying to find a service? You can easily look up any information you want alphabetically.

Old Susannah takes a romp through the city’s website listings and brings you highlights :-

A is for ‘3Rs’ – (NB: I make ‘3’ starting with a ‘T’. But let’s not split hairs). This great 3R scheme sees the city doing yet more PPI-type deals in which private companies perform a service or build something (like a school) and lease it back to the City for massive sums of money. It’s as if I sold you my flat for a fraction of its value, paid you to fix it up for me, and then paid you to rent it back to me for 10 times its value. Bargain!

Most of the rest of the UK has moved away from this disastrous concept (invented in part by our dear ex-Treasurer, ex-PM Gordon Brown in order to keep debts off the books and make the financial picture look rosy). But here in the Deen, we’re still embracing it, with our ex-Lord Provost seemingly quite proud of his services to the 3Rs (3Rs stands for Readin’ Ritin’ and ‘Rhithmatic – to use the spelling taught in the new PPI outsourced schools).

B is for Bats – Normally you might expect a city council proud of its environment to tell you that bats are a unique and endangered species it is proud to have within its city limits, and that bats are protected by EU as well as national laws. But the A-Z tells you nothing of the kind. It tells you about pest control, and how much the city wants for getting rid of all sorts of critters:-

Insects £56 + VAT
Rodents [Domestic] £78.50 + VAT per course of treatment
Rodents [Commercial] £56 + VAT per visit
Bed bugs £74.50 + VAT per visit.

I suppose the difference between domestic and commercial rodents are whether or not they have ACSEF membership.

Of all the city’s money-making, nickel-and dime schemes, this one seems to be both expensive and extensively recommended, as you will see.

Aberdeen seems happy enough to scare and scatter bats in Union Terrace Gardens by allowing HMT to throw massive fireworks displays at Hogmanay. (What was wrong with the beach as a venue one wonders?) Doubtless the rangers were consulted and saw nothing wrong with lighting fireworks over UTG.

Then again they are happy to plunk a 21,000 seat stadium in an SAC at Loirston, and happily arranged for the eradication of our pesky deer. So what if bats, the peregrines,now ‘discouraged’ from their usual roost at Triple Kirks by Mr Milne, and other animals living in the park were exposed to fireworks?

We might be about the only town centre with this mix of animals anywhere in Europe, but we’ve got webs and offices to build, so let’s use subtle tactics like fireworks to get rid of our annoying wildlife. Again, using any of the tons of empty offices buildings isn’t nearly as important as ensuring construction companies can make lots of dosh. So – mind the bedbugs.

Sadly, the council omitted to say how much it charges to kill your deer.

C is for Civic Receptions – like the one we just held for the outgoing Provost. I never did get my invitation to this £4,000 tradition, which could not possibly have been cut back on. Then again, me and another independent candidate never got our passes for the vote count.

C is also for Cat – the link on the City’s website will for some strange reason take you back to the page where you can get pest control to get rid of your rodents. Hopefully our more bloodthirstier council personnel haven’t started exterminating cats just yet. (I can’t wait to get to ‘R’ to see if there is a ‘rats’ listing – but it looks so far like it is politically correct to say ‘rodent’, not ‘rat’). Note ‘C’ is also for ‘complaint’ – but doubtless no one needs to complain to the city about anything.

D is for Debt Counselling – Old Susannah is not sure she’d take financial advice from a city which hadn’t known it was over £50,000,000 in debt some years back, which had written off £11 million in bad debts in the recent past, and was cutting back on essentials but buying portraits and sending Lord Provosts off to Japan.

However, if you are a football club owner and builder who needs to know how to stop losing money when your team plays or needs help shifting ‘luxury’ flats – do feel free to use this service. D is also for ‘dog’ and ‘dog fouling’ – at least the ‘dog’ link didn’t take me to the pest control site again. As to dog fouling – as I stay in Torry, I really have no idea what this means.

E is for Earwig – yes you guessed it – which takes you back to the vermin control pricelist. Quite frankly, I would probably look in the yellow pages before I went to the City’s site for info on earwigs. Speaking of earwigging, Old Susannah is hearing some very interesting stories emerging from LibDem HQ. Can the Liberals lose any more members? Maybe it can.

E is also for Environment – Were you expecting info on air pollution, the polluted burn at East Tullos (more on that next week), EU environmental projects and protection placed on animals? Well, the link for ‘environment’ takes you to:

And what does it say about conservation areas? “Conservation areas are designated by the planning authority as being areas of special architectural or historical interest.” – so it’s only the build environment we seem to be concerned with at the council. That would explain quite a lot.

F is for Freedom of Information – yes, the council are proud to explain what your rights are, and what the law says. I cannot tell you how swiftly, accurately, completely and transparently all of my FOI requests have been answered. But do watch this space. I am expecting some more info soon – hopefully sooner than my request about property sold to Milne-related companies and contracts these companies also won from the city.

That only took a year and the Information Commissioner’s involvement. Sadly, the FOI team at the city were found to be in the wrong on five different counts on that one. Yes, F is also for five. F is also for ‘feral cats’. Yes, you have guessed correctly – the council’s website for ‘feral cats’ takes you back to the pest & vermin control site.

There must be an awful lot of killing planned for this town. Yes, F is also for fleas, flies and foxes – all of course linking to the vermin control page.

G is for ‘Green Space Audit – believe it or not, green spaces are open, usually green (! really!) spaces in and around city centres. We have a strategy. One which is supposed to …

“… provide attractive and appealing places throughout the city, particularly in those areas identified by the open space audit as low in quality. However within a context of serious financial constraint, it promotes innovative and radical ways of maintaining and managing these open spaces.”

Presumably within our serious financial constraint to manage our green heritage there is a fair amount of room for turning meadows into barren rocky hills,but no doubt Tullos will be tree-covered soon, even if it is a few months since the gorse was largely destroyed, shooting deer (and lots of other things too by the sounds of it), and especially borrowing 90 million pounds to put a granite web over a valley, and turn its earth into a stadium, with seating from the destruction of ancient trees. Yes, that’s quite a strategy.

Well, that’s enough alphabet for now. I’m going to go celebrate with a Cornish pasty, heated as hot as I can make it. Oh, and a new BrewDog prototype beer: American Saison. This delicious offering is made from leaves and berries (like the Cair No Mohr wines I adore).

Next week: more of the city’s website alphabet – and some head-scratching over the city’s wiping £26 million of debt off for the AECC. Hmmm.

Feel free to add any comments below. Note – these will be moderated.

Old Susannah No. 62 – A Tale Of Three Cities

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Environment, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour, Sport No Responses »

Jan 062012

Old Susannah tries to get to grips with the newspapers, the actual news, and council-speak. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho and Happy New Year! Old Susannah’s had a bit of a holiday break in London and New York, but is back in the Deen and looking for news in all the wrong places.
All major world cities have their problems – New York, London – even Aberdeen. It’s how these problems are dealt with that show the intelligence, logic, and well class of a city’s government.
New York at Christmas has subtle holiday lights, but all the stores (particularly 5th Avenue ones) do their best to have creative, exciting, individualistic window displays.

This just makes things look non-uniform and that’s a bad thing of course. If only there were some giant red balls and uniform lights overhead to herald the presence of the New York Government. Better still if such lights would fall down now and then for a bit of drama as well.

There is a policeman on every corner of 5th and people are well behaved as a result. Our streets are of course ‘livelier.’ How sad. No one is allowed to use the streets for fighting/throwing up/robbing/ rolling around drunk in while the police stand idly by. Here in Aberdeen there is more freedom to indulge in these traditional holiday past times.

Iconic landmarks such as Manhattan’s statue of Atlas, Ice-skating rink and the Christmas Tree just demonstrate how stuck in boring tradition NYC really is; hardly anyone comes to see these things. I’d like to see a few buildings levelled (maybe the Chrysler and Empire) and a gigantic concrete public square created – that’s clearly what’s needed to revitalise NY’s dull city centre.

London’s Soho was absolutely packed with people, music venues, and restaurants. Believe it or not, the local shops don’t all close at 6pm; some even close when they feel like it. Trash collections are regular, and I found myself missing my overflowing Torry communal wheelie bin with its broken lid and binbags torn open by hungry birds. There weren’t even any sofas dumped on the streets to sit on.

In a not very vibrant or dynamic tradition, the Geoffrey Museum had its annual display showing how households used to look in times past for Christmas. This tedious attraction could have done so much better if a monolith had been built on its historic front lawn.

You’ll never believe me, but in London’s massive Richmond Park (again just wasted space filled with lots of grass and trees) there is actually a deer park.

I suppose the biggest disappointment in New York and London as compared to Aberdeen is the scale of waste. New York has its (comparatively) massive Central Park and there are long stretches of coastal lands on nearby Long Island. No one’s proposed any football stadiums, giant forests on the dunes, or turning the place into a giant golf course resort.

London has more parks than you could count that are filled with little more than grass – which so bothers Councillor Stewart. These parks do allow food kiosks and restaurants, something our City is far too cool to allow in Union Terrace Gardens (well, at least not until we build something over it first).

New York has great sports teams, but it’s not following our lead. The Rangers continue to play in the outdated Madison Square Gardens rather than building something new outside of Manhattan. Mr Milne could teach them a thing or two. It’s almost as if people were fond of their historic sports venue and wanted to keep using it. I think they’re in denial – the thing doesn’t even glow in the dark.

Finally an old building has been sensitively restored for re-use as a Native American heritage museum. Doubt that made much money for any new-build businesses. Shame.

You’ll never believe me, but in London’s massive Richmond Park (again just wasted space filled with lots of grass and trees) there is actually a deer park.

One of many deer allowed to thrive in major London parks as a highly popluar visitor attraction.

No, the deer are not there for people to have their dogs chase. The deer I have to admit are sometimes culled – when absolutely necessary – after living a lifespan where they can eat, roam free, and live.
Note: They are not culled for reasons other than animal welfare.

No one is proposing to shoot them in order to turn their turf into a lumber-producing forest. Some eccentrics actually go out of their way to come and see the deer, or ‘vermin’ as Neil Fletcher and others would call them.

London and New York should really take a page from Aberdeen’s book and do much much more building in their empty green spaces. The funny thing is that people actually choose to live near such places and pay more money for the privilege.

My one regret is that I missed the Christmas event in Union Terrace Gardens which by all accounts was a perfect afternoon. The children loved seeing their artwork displayed; they loved the vermin – sorry – deer which had been brought in as a special treat. The music was spectacular and everyone had a vibrant and dynamic time. So my compliments to the organisers – the Bothwell family and their friends, and to those who supplied prizes – Lush and The Artist’s Pad on Castlegate in particular.

I was happy to have been one of the judges for the art competition which was a real pleasure if not a nearly impossible task. Watch Aberdeen Voice for an upcoming display of the childrens’ artwork and the entries for the Aberdeen Voice Union Terrace Gardens art competition – as soon as I can scan the 300+ items that were entered, that is.

But at this rate there won’t be room for definitions, so here we go.

Blindspot: (compound noun; English) An area which cannot be perceived whether due to physical limitations or psychological ones.

Old Susannah begins to wonder if any of our local press realise that by 23 January the City must relinquish details to me of what land was sold to Stewart Milne companies and for how much money? If they are aware, they certainly don’t find this revelation worthy of any space in their pages.

When I was travelling I kept up with local news via the internet – there were fascinating pieces on weather, a bit of vandalism, some bits of petty crime, another local store closed, and football games were won and lost. But no word on Aberdeen Council being criticised by Scotland’s Information Commissioner or on the looming disclosure of what property ACC sold to Stew at what price. Guess this just isn’t as interesting as all the other stuff.

seems northern Scotland can get windy in winter. Who’d have guessed?

Still, by 23 January the City is meant to supply me with the info on Milne I requested a year and a month ago.

Let’s see who publishes the next development besides Aberdeen Voice.

I also read Private Eye when I was away (although I usually find it far too critical of our elected officials and millionaires), and a small item reminded me that the National Union of Journalists was ‘de-recognised’ by the Press and Journal and its sister, the Evening Express.

A cynical person might think the owners of these papers want to keep a tight rein on any reporter who goes ‘off message’ and writes anything too critical of their largest advertising revenue sources. I just think the P&J management don’t want their staff to have to have the hassle of Union membership when they are so perfectly well remunerated.

Is there really any bias towards the powerful forces in the City? Just as a matter of interest, a colour advertisement in the Evening Express supporting the ‘phase 2 tree for every citizen’ scheme cost the city c. £145. A similar sized colour ad by those opposed to the tree planting and related deer cull cost over £700 (with 2 reprints in the Citizen). Just thought you might like to know.

Festive Decorations: (noun) holiday-themed lights, banners, etc.

Well, the City’s outdone itself this year. From 21st November 2011 to the 5th January 2011, Aberdeen City Centre was festooned with festive lighting and decoration. Of course some of the lights came down almost as soon as they went up; seems northern Scotland can get windy in winter. Who’d have guessed? (Note – this historic pattern of high winds will of course be no object to planting trees on Tullos Hill, even if a Forestry report says wind is a problem there).

I have my own theories about what the giant, over-sized, totally out-of-proportion red balls symbolised

According to the City’s website ‘Other communities around the City also take part with their own festive lighting on lamp-posts. Aberdeen’s main thoroughfare (Union Street) is the centre piece with 11 cross street lighting all with a Christmas theme.’

I was surprised that Christmas was the theme for the beautiful lights on Union Street – I’d have thought the City was supposed to be non-denominational. But I saw the light. The decorations on Union Street show pictures of presents, toys and sweets – and buying stuff like that is the true meaning of Christmas after all.

I have my own theories about what the giant, over-sized, totally out-of-proportion red balls symbolised, but perhaps I’ll keep that to myself. I look forward to watching them fall down again next year.

Jargon: (noun) vocabulary which is not recognised in the mainstream, is hard to decipher, and which may be deliberately exclusionary.

Next week I intend to look at upcoming budget/financial actions our fair city may be taking. Believe it or not, I am not always convinced their financial skills are as good as you might think. If anyone can help me decipher the following paragraph which I found on the ACC website, then please get in touch:-

“There are also other projects currently active that will produce efficiencies for all Services, i.e. ICT infrastructure and connectivity, procurement revisions, etc. The ICT infrastructure and connectivity work is delivered solely by Service Design and Development and therefore is not included in the above listing. The projects listed above all fall into the category of technology enabling making change happen.”

It sound absolutely wonderful, but I haven’t a clue what it means. It’s from an older document covering finance and budget.

Is it possible that a lack of straight-talking is confusing issues? No, I thought not. I guess I’m just not ‘falling into the category of technology enabling making change happen’ as naturally as everyone else must be doing.

Final thought: Children in Need:
Spare a thought to those who don’t have the things they need this season. Take the case of Stewart M.

Stewart, aged fifty-something years, will not have a happy holiday season (or any kind of happy season) without some help. A mere 7.8 million pounds will give him the toy football stadium he wants. Next year he may also buy some toy players to go in the toy stadium if it’s not all been thrown out of the pram. Please give generously.

Another Final thought: Electoral Roll:
Live in Aberdeen? Want to vote on the future of Union Terrace Gardens? Make sure you are registered to vote before 10 January. IF you are not on the electoral role, follow this link and register: http://www.grampian-vjb.gov.uk/clients/GVJB/flexviews/core/assets/pdf/er/voterregistrationform.pdf

Resolutions Carried, Revolution Not On Agenda

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, Sport No Responses »

Dec 212011

A £15m debt? Plans to move to new premises that have not convinced the customers and neighbours? Under-performing product? Surely such an organisation’s AGM would see calls for change at the top, summary dismissals, a new financial model? Normally yes, but this is football where normal capitalist business practice is forgotten. David Innes reports from the Dons AGM held on Monday 19 December.

This was, Chairman Stewart Milne declared, the 108th AGM of Aberdeen Football Club. It is the sixteenth of these since the first major share issue of 1996, but whereas the 1996 meeting had to be held in the Capitol to accommodate the hundreds who attended, the 108th meeting quorum was comfortably contained in just one half of Pittodrie’s Europa Lounge.

The systemic stuff, in the form of seven resolutions, was over in a trice. The three directors – Messrs Fraser, Little and Matheson – retiring by rotation were re-elected without opposition, the appointment of two new directors in Colin Welsh and Ian Jack were ratified and the boring accounts drollery was nodded through.

So, to the main course and questions from the floor.

As expected, directors were asked for information on views on debt, Loirston, public relations, the team’s under-achievement, the onfield disciplinary record and the possibility of introducing standing sections in the new build.

There is still an admitted funding gap in the budget for relocation, but we were assured that the bank-demanded milestones relating to this were achievable and that initial construction work was expected to start, on target, in April 2012. The funding needed for the new ground will not affect the football budget which Craig Brown publicly admitted was the fourth best in the SPL and certainly less than his budget when he was Motherwell manager.

On the £2.5m loan extended to the club by the companies run by Milne and fellow director Hugh Little, the latter was blunt in his assessment. This loan, he said, helped Aberdeen retain its football budget at planned levels whilst income had not reached targets, in a time when rivals in Dundee, Edinburgh and elsewhere are cutting theirs.

He mentioned administration as a consequence of living beyond a club’s means. One imagines he had in mind Motherwell’s administration which now sees them in a European place in the SPL, having paid only a percentage of its creditors’ bills post-administration, with morally-suspect consequences for local suppliers. Or perhaps he was thinking of Hearts, where currently payment of staff wages seems to be a monthly option rather than a contractual obligation.

negative press and broadcast publicity from certain media outlets and individuals was difficult to counter

The manager told shareholders that if there were complaints about performance and league position, they should be addressed to him, as the board had accepted his every request for stretching the bounds of his budget, including the recruitment of full backs a year ago and the signings of Chalali, Fallon and Gonzalez.

The responsibility, quite clearly, was his.

On disciplinary issues, nobody disputed his analysis of the sendings off to date in 2011-12. He admitted that his orders to players not to appeal decisions may have cost them dearly and that referees may well “mistake kindness for softness”. Willie Miller conceded that football has radically changed in terms of tackling since he was the nemesis of strikers and that referees were now almost unable to leave unpenalised a “hard but fair tackle”. The big girlies.

The directors and manager agreed too that negative press and broadcast publicity from certain media outlets and individuals was difficult to counter but that the only alternative is to improve the playing record.

That sums it up. Whether or not they are shareholders, fans are only interested in the so-called “football operation”, business-speak for “fitba”. Home games can be held in surroundings replicating the Nou Camp or the old Linksfield, but we don’t care as long as the Reds are fighting like young tigers for the cause we share. We could have the best or worst corporate facilities in the whole of Scotland and it matters not a whit if we’re scoring one more than our opponents.

That was best illustrated by the largely-unexpected easy ride given to those in charge. We’ve just beaten St Johnstone and Hibs and have the good old collective sense of injustice on our side again, following some rather rum refereeing decisions.

Football fans don’t ask for much more, but one wonders if next year the club’s custodians will get it so easy if results remain the same and stadium development and other “non-football operation” activity takes over as priority.

ACC Ordered To Release List Of Property Sold To Milne

Aberdeen City, Articles, Breaking, Community, Featured, Information, News No Responses »

Dec 122011

Aberdeen Voice has learned that the Scottish Information Commissioner has upheld Voice reporter Suzanne Kelly’s Freedom of Information request with regard to land and property sold by Aberdeen City Council to Stewart Milne and associated companies.

Less than a week having passed since Stewart Milne’s appeal to the Supreme Court failed, the Scottish Information Commissioner has decided that the Council must provide Kelly with information on land transactions between Aberdeen City and Stewart Milne companies.

The Supreme Court had been asked to review the details of a land purchase Milne Group made from Aberdeen City Council. The Supreme Court found that Milne must pay the City £1.7 million over the land deal.

The cost of the legal action is at this point unknown.

Kelly had followed the case, and had heard from several sources that there may have been other deals regarding the property developer and the City.

In a Freedom of Information Request made to the City, Kelly asked for a list of property sold to Milne and/or associated companies and the selling price, as well as a list of contracts the Milne companies had won from Aberdeen (there are several companies connected to Stewart Milne). Kelly wanted to analyse the contracts won and land purchased. The City initially refused her request.

An appeal was lodged, and the Information Commissioner was asked to look at the history of the freedom of information request and the grounds for refusal. The Commissioner issued its findings on 9 December 2011. The Commission decided that Aberdeen City Council and its Freedom of Information officers failed to act properly on a number of issues.

Key points include:-

The City did not always respond to correspondence and requests in a timely manner.
The City said it did not have a comprehensive record keeping system and finding the information would be very difficult. Kelly proved to the Information Commissioner that the City keeps much of its property portfolio details on spreadsheets.
The City said it would cost over a thousand pounds to find this information.
Kelly received some of the requested information during the course of the investigation including details of c. £10 million worth of construction contracts won by Milne and associated companies. No information has as yet been released by Aberdeen to show what property it sold to Milne.

The property dealings of Aberdeen City council had come to the attention of Audit Scotland some time ago. In its findings Audit Scotland found:-

evidence of procedural and administrative deficiencies and poor record keeping,
cases where accurate and relevant information was not reported to elected members,
a lack of evidence to support the valuation at which properties were sold, and
cases where the Council may have achieved a better price. Overall, it appears that there is a potential loss of capital receipts which may be more than £5 million.

The City is considering a number of budget and service cuts, and this spurred Kelly on. Kelly states.

“If the city is awarding contracts based even in part on low bids, then I question the wisdom and prudence of selling land at a fraction of its potential market value to a successful bidder. The City has a massive property portfolio, and if must keep detailed and accurate records of its transactions. In light of the Supreme Court decision last week, the decision from the Information Commissioner is extremely timely and most welcome. I look forward to receiving the information I have sought for so many months.”

Milne is also a director of Aberdeen Football Club. It is slated to sell its existing Pittodrie Stadium ( the UK’s first all-seater stadium ) and use the proceeds to build a stadium in greenbelt land near Loirston Loch. Planning permission was hotly contested, with local community councils objecting to the plans. The area is home to a variety of wildlife. The club’s income is thought to be in steady decline, as attendances have fallen and the team struggle to climb the league.

Says Kelly,

“I shall contact Aberdeen Council if I have not heard from them shortly, and as soon as the information is made available to me, I will report back. The Commissioner agrees that the public have a right to have the information I have fought long and hard to obtain.”

Old Susannah No. 60 – Tolerance Special

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Dec 012011

Old Susannah looks back at the week that was, who said what to whom about what, and wonders what Saint Andrew would have made of it all.

Happy St Andrew’s Day! Old Suz is having haggis and whisky, or ‘swishky’ as the man at the next table is calling it. St Andrew’s Day reminds us of our national identity, more on that later. I read that Aberdeen is climbing up the list of ‘best places to live in the world’ and has reached the dazzling height of No. 52.

Well done everyone! And that’s before we get our glowing stadium at Loirston or our giant glass worm. We’ll be number 51 in the world before you know it. Apparently factors like our low crime level feed into how the ratings are calculated. Congratulations to us all for living in this desirable paradise.

These statistics may or may not include the small minority of people who aren’t rolling in dosh like most of us are. The statistics on crime may or may not be being ‘massaged’ – after all, the top brass get nice bonuses if the crime levels are low. How could I think such a thing? Well, the newspapers this week may have something to do with it.

We’ve had a charming man just sent to prison; he kicked a four-year-old child in the head. Fair enough, they had been having an argument apparently. You know what these toddlers can be like.

Another similar humanitarian’s gone down for 3 years for robbing children of their pocket money and jewellery, threatening to ‘slash’ some of them. The fact the victims were boys, girls and an autistic person just show that this particular thief was running his business in a non-discriminatory way. He should be congratulated really. To be even more inclusive, this particular robber tried putting on a ‘Scouse’ accent.

Perhaps his career is inspiring to young people – a nine year old’s been caught stealing a car as well. You’re never too young to learn. I wonder if he at least brought a child safety seat on the job with him?

We’ve had older people robbed, conned and abused. Yes, in our 21st Century world, Aberdeen is the 52nd best place to live. I’d say ‘safe as houses’, but we’ve had burglaries and fire-raising in the news as well. Still, statistics don’t lie, and if there are experts who say we’re no. 52 in the planet, who are we to question it.

I heard something about some disruptive elements holding something called a ‘strike’. I just hope this won’t affect our place in the world quality standing. I can’t for the life of me see why anyone in such a highly-ranked city would have any reasons for unhappiness, although frozen salaries, cut pensions, closed schools, closed recreational facilities, cut school lessons, cut services and cuts to care homes might play a small role.

Someone should look into this. Maybe if we just all looked at the brand new festive lights on Union Street, the rest of it wouldn’t matter so much.

That nice Mr Jeremy Clarkson had a solution for these ‘striking’ workers – he apparently said on air that he’d have them all shot in front of their families. He thinks they get great pensions. Please be a bit patient and don’t judge Mr Clarkson too harshly. He’s got to work for a living, and probably only has a modest pension to look forward to.

It is not like him to be intolerant of other people, and as it’s the season of good will (or is it the season of ‘buy one get one free’ – I can never remember), let’s let Jeremy off the hook. We should be more tolerant, like he is.

Perhaps it’s time for some definitions.

Nationalism: (noun), The belief that a person or thing’s national origin is its most important and most defining characteristic.

Incidents of racism and nationalism are on the rise – not just in the UK at large, but here in 52nd best city, Aberdeen. Still, it’s important to remember just how important a person’s nationality is. If Donald Trump hadn’t reminded us that he has a granny from Skye, we might not have given his development the wink and the nod.

Pretty soon we’ll have the number one golf course in the world near the 52nd greatest city: it will be like paradise on earth. Believe it or not, on my mother’s side I can trace my direct ancestry all the way back to King Duncan, King Alexander and St Margaret of Scotland.

Armed with this information, I intend to ask Alex Salmond to give me privileges as well. Maybe someone will even sell me some land in Westhills for a fraction of its value. National origin is where it’s at.

Of course if someone’s not Scottish, it’s OK to discriminate against them and you can always tell someone’s national origin by looking at them.

We know what a pure Scottish person looks like because of their Scottish characteristics. These Scottish traits come from the Egyptian princess Scota (for whom the country may be named). They also come from the Phoenicians who sailed here, the Celts who came here and the Vikings, Danes, and Norsemen who raided now and then. These pure Scottish traits also come from the Picts, and the Romans (whatever they may have done for us).

Later on continental settlers from travellers and sailors to kings and queens came from the continent. St Colomba came from Ireland, and the movement of people between Ireland and Scotland was massive. So yes – be proud you’re Scottish. After all, it’s not like a Scot is some kind of foreigner or something.

We could learn a lot from that nice lady on Youtube who had a wee bit of a go at foreigners coming over here to live. It’s only been going on for three and a half thousand years or more as far as I can tell. The lady in question is now helping the police with their enquiries.

St Andrew, for those who didn’t know, came from Galilee, and was Jewish-born convert to Christianity. He had this crazy idea of preaching his religion (something to do with ‘turning the other cheek’, loving one another, and so on) to people in every country he could manage to travel to.

He travelled extensively in Europe and is also revered in half a dozen countries and the Greek Orthodox Church. No doubt he’d be proud of the nationalism that seems to be taking hold of a few people here. What he’d say to the giant worm or the monolith plans for Union Terrace Gardens is another matter.

Aberdeen Citizens Party: (noun) A facebook site with some 35 friends.

A wide range of rather strong opinions can be found on this site. The Citizens Party is against Halal slaughter of animals (so am I). It is all for capital punishment, and says that since 80 percent of people (really?) want the death penalty brought back it should be done. I guess if a few innocent people get killed like happens in the USA, then the families can be given some kind of compensation payment. Fair enough.

This page is apparently run by one Patrick Wight; I’m told he has some form of hilarious act wherein he pretends to be a camp homosexual hairdresser named ‘Patrice’. I really must catch that some time (perhaps around the time I want to define ‘tolerance’ more fully).

Old Susannah was surprised to read this on the Citizens page:

“Lets hope that a campaign of direct action can save Union Terrace Gardens and prevent the environmental damage which is to be inflicted upon it by Ian Wood and his yes men. The right to protest peacefully is a fundamental part of our society. We tend to forget that many of the human rights we cherish today are a direct result of protests by ordinary people who were prepared to go onto the streets ..”

I of course don’t want anything to stand in the way of Stewart getting his much-needed parking spaces, and Ian getting his eventual statue. However, I found the above just a little bit of a contradiction to what a Patrick Wight wrote to Aberdeen Voice:-

“Message:
Not affiliated to any political party?
Your having a fcuken (sic) laugh!
Your promoting the day of action rally by the political left and the unions who want to wreck economic recovery and cause public misery across Britain.”

So – a protest is fine, but not a day of action rally by the unions. I can’t quite work out why we have unions anyway, since we’re number 52 in the world. It might have had something to do with workers in the past not having great rights (or any rights). It might have something to do with the infamous New York City sweatshop fire in the Triangle building– all the workers had been locked in and none escaped the fire.

But that was then and this is now. Public sector workers have ‘gilt edged’ pensions; Jeremy Clarkson said so. Let’s all get behind the Aberdeen Citizens Party and protest against the gardens, but complain about unions having a day of protest. Makes sense to me.

Next week: more definitions, including ‘slacktivist’ – someone who likes the idea of supporting a cause, as long as it doesn’t mean doing anything much.

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