Nov 122011
 

Aberdeen Sports Village, a partnership between the University of Aberdeen, Aberdeen City Council and sportscotland, has been short-listed in the category of “Newcomer of the Year” at this year’s prestigious National Fitness Awards.  With thanks to Dave Macdermid and The Big Partnership.

The Awards were launched last year to honour operators from across the UK in the health and fitness industry.  The category of Newcomer of the Year is aimed at facilities who have been operating for less than 2 years (as of March 2011), and who have made their mark within the industry in terms of facilities, services and innovation.

The Sports Village has been nominated in this very closely contested category, against new sports facilities, health clubs and gyms from across the whole of the UK.  They impressed the judges, not only with the impressive facilities on site, but also with the numerous high quality activities and services available to everyone in the community.

Jan Griffiths, Sports Development Manager at Aberdeen Sports Village, said:

“The Sports Village strives to be at the cutting edge regarding all aspects of sport, fitness and health, and we are passionate about everything we do.  The local community have really embraced the ethos of the Village, and we are privileged to be able to support and educate our customers in such a welcoming environment.”

The winners in each category at the National Fitness Awards will be announced on Friday 25 November at their Awards Dinner at the International Convention Centre in Birmingham.

Nov 082011
 

Dave Macdermid brings Voice readers news of the latest outcomes in City tennis competitions.

 The host club’s Martin Harbord, seeded two, won the men’s singles event at the inaugural Rubislaw Grand Prix event with a 4-6, 6-2, 10-4 final victory over clubmate Babak Alnasser, who had earlier eliminated the favourite, Graeme Matthew (David Lloyd Aberdeen), 6-7 (7), 6-4, 10-6 to reach the final.

The women’s final was also an-all Rubislaw affair with teenage Fiona Hamilton triumphing 6-0, 6-3 over Laura Mulders.

Stonehaven’s Patrick Young (pictured) won the second of the monthly Glacier Energy Masters Under 12 event at the Westburn Tennis Centre.  Cameron Edwards (Cults) was runner up.

Oct 092011
 

By Alex Mitchell.

Art Deco: a style in the decorative arts as defined by a major international exhibition held in Paris in 1925.   It had been planned for 1915, but was postponed because of the First World War.   The exhibition was a celebration of modernity, of modern materials and techniques.   The expression ‘Art Deco’ describes the style which predominated there; a jazzy application of a visual vocabulary derived from Cubism, Futurism, Functionalism and other recent movements to a variety of decorative, fashionable and commercial purposes.

There was a shift in emphasis from the Fine Arts to the Arts Decoratifs.   Artists now applied their aesthetic skills to all areas of design, ranging from architecture and interior decoration to fashion and jewellery.   Oddly enough, the expression ‘Art Deco’ did not come into use until a much later exhibition in London in 1968.   In its own time, the style was generally referred to as moderne (not to be confused with’modernist’) and sometimes as ‘jazz’ or ‘jazz-style’.  

Although it applies to the decorative arts and interior design of the 1920s and 1930s, the description ‘Art Deco’ can be extended to analogous styles in architecture, where it is characterised by smooth, sleek, aerodynamic or ‘streamlined’ motifs, reflecting the contemporary preoccupation with speed and the setting of new land, sea and air speed records.

Sunbursts, sunbeams and sun-rays are another very characteristic Deco motif, reflecting the new fashion for sunbathing and the perceived benefits of natural light and fresh air.   The ‘Deco’ style created clean simple shapes suitable for mass production in factories using modern materials such as plastic, chrome and aluminium.   Even mundane objects like vacuum cleaners and radios were given the Deco treatment, adorned with smooth, streamlined surfaces and sleek lines resembling those of racing cars and aircraft.

Following its revival in the 1960s, Art Deco has been seen as the natural sequel to the Art Nouveau of the 1890s, of which the early work of Charles Rennie Mackintosh (1868-1928) provides several examples, e.g., the Willow Tea Rooms in Glasgow.   Art Nouveau drew much of its inspiration from the natural world of plants and flowers and is characterised by a sinuous, curvilinear style.   A local example of Art Nouveau is the cast-iron Ventilator at the Holburn Street end of Justice Mill Lane.

But Art Deco is more a product of the machine age, and is characterised by flat, geometric shapes.  

Mackintosh at first incorporated a significant degree of Art Nouveau ornamentation in his work, but he later pared down these decorative elements in favour of a starkly elegant and geometrical aesthetic, e.g., the vertical emphasis of his notorious ladder-backed chairs.

Art Deco and other aspects of Modernism as applied to architecture were in conscious rebellion against pre-1914 styles such as Victorian Gothic, Scottish Baronial and Edwardian Baroque, which came to be seen as dark, stuffy, cluttered, over-decorated, pompous and impractical. It was now felt that design should reflect function, that function should dictate form, and that buildings serving modern purposes such as railway stations or schools should not be disguised so as to resemble medieval cathedrals or castles.

Modernism came to favour asymmetrical compositions, unrelievedly cubic shapes, metal and glass framework often resulting in large windows in horizontal bands, and a marked absence of decorative mouldings or ornamentation.  The pendulum of fashion had swung from the one extreme to the other, from Gothic extravagance and whimsy to a style, or absence of style, often described as ‘Brutalist’, if not as ‘Stalinist’.

Art Deco may be seen, at its best, as a via media, a happy medium between the over-ornamentation and clutter of the Victorian-Edwardian era and the stark, totalitarian style too often characteristic of the 20th century.

Art Deco emphasised stylishness attuned to domestic use and popular consumption, and was characterised by geometric patterning, sharp edges and flat, bright colours, often involving the use of enamel, bronze and highly polished chrome.

The simplicity of the style can be seen as Classical in spirit, apparent in the extensive use of Egyptian, Aztec and Greek motifs.   This reflected the widespread interest in the discovery of the tomb of the Egyptian boy-king Tutankhamun in 1922.

The craze for all things Egyptian coincided with the spate of cinema construction in the 1920s and 1930s, and was often incorporated into both exterior and interior designs, being very apparent in Odeon, Gaumont and other chain-cinemas of the period.

Sumptuous picture-palaces were built in Aberdeen during the inter-war period, the ‘Age of Deco’, including:

The Palace Cinema; the old Palace Theatre was substantially extended in 1931 to create its impressive Rubislaw granite frontage on Bridge Place, which itself stands on a ridge extending from Holburn Street to Crown Terrace. The Palace became a dance-hall in 1960. The building was owned by Scottish & Newcastle Breweries from 1993 until recently, and its shabby and neglected condition did them no credit.   It is now a nightclub, operated by Luminar, who have tidied it up considerably.

The Regent Cinema in 1927, by Tommy Scott Sutherland (1899-1963), was built on the site of the Upper Justice Mill, at the Holburn St. end of the ridge described above.   The Lower Justice Mill was down the brae in Union Glen; its mill-pond lay between the two buildings.   The two mills had been in operation well before 1320, when they were granted to the Burgh of Aberdeen by King Robert I, Robert the Bruce, and were still in operation 600 years later in the 1920s.

The Capitol had the most remarkable interior of all the Aberdeen cinemas, which included a Compton theatre pipe organ

The Lower Mill pond was drained and filled, the three streams diverted and covered and the site was levelled by excavating it back towards Justice Mill Lane.   The Regent cinema occupied the eastern part of the site formerly occupied by the Upper Mill; the western part of the site is occupied by the McClymont Hall.

The frontage of the Regent Cinema (latterly the Odeon) was of Rubislaw granite, decorated with bands of red terracotta, with a polished black granite base.   The vertical central windows, giving the impression of height, became something of a Sutherland trade-mark, later deployed to useful effect in the Kittybrewster Astoria and the Majestic.

The Regent opened on Saturday 27 February 1932, a few months after the Palace.   The building is now occupied by the Cannon sports centre and health club.   The new owners have renovated the exterior to a high standard, extending to the rear of the car park, where it abuts Union Glen.

The Capitol in Union Street in 1932, by A. G. R. Mackenzie, had a sparkling dressed granite frontage, slightly asymmetrical in layout.   Above the entrance were three tall windows with two shorter windows to the left and three such to the right.   The frontage was/is surmounted by a plain but elegant pediment which had the effect of concealing from street view the high, steeply pitched roof of the auditorium.

The Capitol had the most remarkable interior of all the Aberdeen cinemas, which included a Compton theatre pipe organ, and it was also the most influenced by Art Deco, both inside and out, e.g., the outer doors with their stainless-steel semi-circular hand plates, forming full circles when the doors were closed.

The Capitol opened on Saturday 4 February 1933.   Its more recent conversion for Luminar involved the horizontal division of the auditorium into two complementary night-clubs, one upstairs, one downstairs.   We are unable to say how this affects the Compton organ, or just what remains of the Art Deco interior.

Tommy Scott Sutherland went on to design the Astoria Cinema in Clifton Road, Kittybrewster, which opened on Saturday 8 December 1934.

This was followed by the Majestic in Union Street, (opposite the Langstane Kirk), which TSS regarded as his finest creation.   It had a fairly plain and austere frontage of Kemnay granite in the style by now known as Sutherland Perpendicular.
It opened on Thursday 10 December 1936.   By then, Aberdeen could boast one cinema seat per seven inhabitants, more than double the ratio in London.   (For more on this, see The Silver Screen In The Silver City by Michael Thomson, 1988.)

Other Deco-influenced buildings in Aberdeen are:

Jackson’s Garage in Bon-Accord Street/Justice Mill Laneof 1933, by A. G. R. Mackenzie.   This is a rare example of excellent commercial architecture of the inter-war period in Aberdeen, and has many Deco characteristics.   It incorporates the distinctive horizontal banding of windows and glazing, curving around the corner to Justice Mill Lane.   The Bon-Accord Street frontage has an impressive central section with three very tall vertical windows surmounted by a distinctive 1930s clock.   The building is now occupied by Slater’s Menswear.

The Bon-Accord Baths in Justice Mill Lane, of 1937, is one of the most characteristically 1930s buildings in Aberdeen, being a giant buttressed granite box.   Inside, there is an abundance of curved blond wood and shiny metal; the swimming pool roof is supported on concrete arches.   The window glazing is distinctively ‘Deco’.

Amicable House, Nos. 250-252 Union Street, of 1933, by Tommy Scott Sutherland, built just west of his Majestic Cinema, embodies some Art Deco motifs and characteristics.   The Majestic was demolished in the early 1970s and replaced by the present bland, characterless office block.

The 1930s Medical School at Foresterhill.

The King’s College Sports Pavilion of 1939-41, by A. G. R. Mackenzie; one of the few Modernist buildings in Aberdeen before World War Two.

Tullos Primary School, begun 1937, but not completed until 1950, by J. Ogg Allan; one of the best 1930s buildings in the city.

I should mention the Carron Tea-room in Stonehaven, built 1937 and recently fully refurbished; it may be the finest Art Deco building in the north of Scotland.

Finally, the Northern Hotel, Kittybrewster, of 1937, by A. G. R. Mackenzie.   Its curved frontage is dominated by broad horizontal banding of windows and glazing.   The Northern Hotel is the most distinctively ‘Deco’ building in Aberdeen, and has recently been fully restored.   The interiors are well worth seeing.

For all that, the Northern Hotel is arguably more a thing of interest than of great beauty.   The Deco style seems to work better in pastel colours and in sunny locales.

I used to walk past the Northern Hotel regularly, and it never occurred to me to think of it as a beautiful building; striking, yes, beautiful, no.   By the time it was built, in the late 1930s, the new architecture of Aberdeen had perhaps slipped too far down that long descent from Victorian Gothic to Stalinist Brutalism; all the way from the splendid Flemish-Medieval Town House of 1867 to the irredeemably awful St Nicholas House of 1967.

These bitter-sounding thoughts were occasioned, quite some years ago, whilst walking from the Castlegate back to the Brig o’ Dee.   It occurred to me that every building I liked along the way dated from long before I was born, and that almost nothing put up in my own lifetime was any good at all.   I like to think that things bottomed out, perhaps as far back as the 1970s or ‘80s, and are now on an improving trend, but the evidence is still uncertain.

That said, ‘Deco’ influences are apparent in at least three recent buildings in Aberdeen, as follows:

The Lighthouse Cinema; I like those sleek glass curves along the line of the old Shiprow.

The huge block of student flats in Mealmarket Street/West North Street is distinctively ‘Deco’ in style, brightly coloured in pastel shades of blue, white and pink/orange.

Talisman House in Holburn Street is another symphony in tinted glass with its undulating green roofline, now complemented by Gillie’s new furniture store across the street.

Talisman House is certainly a big improvement on the old College of Commerce; but is the Boots/Currys building by the Brig o’ Dee an improvement on the former, much-unloved, Dee Motel?   At least the Dee Motel was a low-rise building, set well back and largely obscured by trees and shrubs.   The Boots/Currys building might be acceptable somewhere else but, on this prominent corner site, is too big, too far forward and too close to the historic Brig; and it completely dominates the view all the way down South Anderson Drive and out Holburn Street.

Contributed by Alex Mitchell.

Oct 072011
 

With Thanks to Dave Macdermid.

The UK’s largest sports tour operator, Thomas Cook Sport, has become Aberdeen FC’s Official Holiday Club partner, which means that fans can buy anything from charter flights and hotels to complete holiday packages, all at guaranteed discounted prices. Last year Thomas Cook Sport became the Official Travel Partner of the SPL in a three year deal.

Aberdeen FC join a long list of SPL club partners, with fans sure of a discount on holidays booked through Thomas Cook.

Danny Talbot, Managing Director of Thomas Cook Sport said,

“It’s fantastic news that we’re now working with Aberdeen FC, and partner more Scottish Premier League clubs than ever before.  With thousands of fans able to benefit from our Holiday Club discounts, we’re looking forward to building great relationships over the coming seasons.”

An Aberdeen FC spokesperson said,

“Thomas Cook is a fantastic brand for us to be involved with and the Holiday Club is a great initiative that enables us to offer our fans discounts on their holidays, with royalties from bookings being passed on to the club.”

Fans of The Dons can make the most of their exclusive Holiday Club deals by calling into any Thomas Cook or Going Places store – there are around 800 across the UK including Thomas Cook Langstane.

Aug 182011
 

By Stephen Davy-Osborne. 

Three skaters from Aberdeen’s very own roller derby team have been selected to represent Scotland as part of the national team at the 2011 Roller Derby World Cup taking place inToronto, Canada later this year.

The local skaters selected to be part of the team are Carolyn Mackenzie (aka Clinically Wasted), Claire Simpson (reserve) (aka Ruby Riot) and Jill Simpson (reserve) (aka Rock ‘n’ Riot) all members of Aberdeen’s only female Roller Derby Team, the Granite City Roller Girls.

Speaking to the Aberdeen Voice upon learning of her selection, Carolyn Mackenzie said:

“Since October 2009, Roller Derby has become an immense part of my life. Never before had I found something so liberating, enjoyable and welcoming.

“For me, being selected for Team Scotland threw up many emotions including – joy, disbelief, happiness and fear! The road to Toronto, has, and will be a tough one – both physically and mentally, but I will still be there flying the flag for Scotland with the biggest smile on my face.

“Modern Roller Derby is such a young sport and this will be the first ever World Cup, being broadcast to tens of thousands of people across the globe. To be involved in such an important historic event for our sport, this makes me the proudest person in the world.”

The team are still seeking a sponsor to support them to travel and stay in Canada and to help with uniforms, insurance and training facilities.  The sponsorship provides the opportunity for exposure at an international event that will be attended by thousands of spectators and streamed across the world.

The 2011 Blood & Thunder Roller Derby World Cup takes place in Toronto between the 1st and 4th of December.

– For more information, check out www.teamscotlandrollerderby.com

Pictures: Andrew Leatherbarrow 

Aug 012011
 

A charity is appealing to cyclists to come along and pedal at Aberdeen’s first ever bike powered pop up cinema on Sunday 7th August.

Cornerstone’s pop up cinema, which will take place at Enigma Sports Bar between 3pm and 5pm, uses six stationery bikes to power a 2500 lumen digital projector, which will screen the classic Oscar winning film Casablanca. The event marks the launch of the Cornerstone Challenge, a new Oscar themed fundraising challenge.

Running from 1-30 September the Cornerstone Challenge invites participants to walk, cycle and run as many miles as they can to travel around to different Oscar themed destinations on a virtual map.

Vanessa Smith, Regional Corporate Relations & Fundraising Co-ordinator at Cornerstone explains:

“We thought a biked powered pop up cinema showing a famous Oscar winning film was the perfect way to launch the Cornerstone Challenge.

“We’d like to invite people to come join us for a pedal at this one off, free event. We need to keep all six bicycles going throughout the film for the projector to work, but no one will be expected to cycle the whole time and there will be plenty comfy seats to have a rest in. This really is an opportunity to see Casablanca as you’ve never seen it before, in Aberdeen’s first ever pedal powered pop up cinema”

For more information, visit http://www.cornerstone.org.uk/event-details.php?id=pedal-powered-pop-up-cinema 

Cornerstone is one of Scotland’s largest charities and a leading provider of services for people with disabilities and other support needs.

Cornerstone was founded by Nick Baxter in 1980 when he brought together a group of parents and professionals who were concerned about the lack and quality of services available to people with learning disabilities and their families.

Anyone interested in attending Cornerstone’s pop up cinema should email:
lisette.knight@cornerstone.org.uk

Taco Hell – City Team Roll On To Victory

 Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, Sport  Comments Off on Taco Hell – City Team Roll On To Victory
Feb 182011
 

Roller Derby – Europes fastest growing sport – and Aberdeen is well up to speed. Voice’s Stephen Davy-Osborne and Fred Wilkinson were in attendance to check out the latest bout and spread the word about this new and exciting scene.

Last Saturday saw upward of two hundred brightly clad skaters and supporters descend on the Beach Leisure Centre for a roller derby of epic proportions between Aberdeen’s home grown team the Granite City Roller Girls and the Fear Maidens of Perth. The event was billed as ‘Taco Hell’ – sombreros and painted on moustaches being the order of the day as players and spectators endorsed the Mexican theme.

After an exciting display of speed, skill, balance, agility, and more than a few meaty challenges, the final score was a resounding success for the home team at 129 v 57.

Speaking after the derby, chairwoman of GCRG, Kirsten Reid (aka Krusty Thud) enthused by the success experienced by her up and coming team.

“Saturday was a huge success! 150+ spectators from all over Scotland and some from further field, made it a brilliant day.”

Equally enthused, treasurer Katrina Bird (Blood Red Bird) added:

“It was a good score from us but the Fear Maidens didn’t make it easy and we will have a fight on our hands with our return bout in Perth later on in the year”

The GCRG were founded in 2007 as the Aberdeen Aces, but a lack of training facilities meant that training could only take place in car parks, and other large, flat, open spaces.

It wasn’t until late 2008 that they were offered training ground with Aberdeen Lads Club in Tillydrone, that they re-launched themselves with a new name and set about recruiting new members, which initially proved somewhat of a struggle.

However, with the release of the film ‘Whip It!’ starring Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page, and an inspirational advertisement from Nike featuring roller derby, there came an influx of new members – with plans now to create a second team for the Granite city.

All this extra publicity can only do good for the relatively unknown sport, which has become the fastest growing contact sport in America and Europe.

“Finally, roller derby is being taken seriously and we are deeply proud to be a part of it” agree Kirsten and Katrina.

With their recent successes, the GCRG are keen to take their team to the next level, even considering the possibility of putting team members forward for the Scotland team competing in the first roller derby world cup, being held in Canada in December of this year.

The team are a non-profit organisation and fund everything themselves. They regularly hold fundraisers, with their sponsorship team always on the look-out for new sponsors, no matter how big or small, to help the team progress to their full potential.

However, it is not all about raising funds for the club –  a home bake sale at the derby this weekend past also saw the team raise over £100 for Northsound’s Cash for Kids charity.
Early March sees the girls heading down to Newcastle to play the Newcastle Roller Girls in their furthest away bout yet, followed by a home game against Edinburgh’s Cannon Belles at the Beach Leisure Centre on April 2nd. More details of these events can be found on the GCRG website:

www.granitecityrollergirls.org.

Dec 032010
 

So, another one bites the dust…The cycle continues… Sack. Hire. Don’t back. Fire.
Put that to a 120BPM scratch beat and you’ve got a rap smash. Shall we say 20%?

Angry and Frustrated of .com (OK, OK, it’s resident fitba curmudgeon David Innes) gives his take on this week’s everyday tale of Pittodrie folk.

This time it’s Mark McGhee, brought to the club in June 2009 to “take us to the next level”. Was he capable? We’ll never know, for once again, we’ll be doling out a considerable six figure sum to bin a management team rather than allocate it to where it’s most needed – the playing budget.

With £400,000 at his disposal, I’m sure McGhee would have had us far higher up the table than we are. What we can almost guarantee is that having spent what appears to be over £2 million in compensating both Jimmies and Sandy Clark, weighing in with a wedge to prise Dingus from Fir Park and now filling his and the bank accounts of Leitch and Meldrum, we won’t be spending on contractual compensation when it comes to hiring this time.

Where does that leave us? Pretty much with those who are not in meaningful full-time club employment and who won’t need their clubs compensating. John Hughes? Binned by Hibs for a horrendous start to the season – would he do any better here? Billy Stark? Relegated St Johnstone and manages under-21 loons for fewer than ten games per year. Gordon Strachan – I think he wants to stay as far away from football as possible. That might of course make him a contender, since there’s not been much coincident with the finer points of the game at AB24 5QH in the past few years.

I had high hopes for Mark. His introductory press conference oozed ambition. He didn’t want to start the season droning the losers’ mantra about finishing third. He wanted to challenge “them”, he wanted to use home-reared players to add energy and spark to a squad and if necessary sell them on to allow purchase of others for the overall good of the squad. Hard-bitten hacks were almost in tears and I swear that Willie Miller was behind the scenes manipulating a C90 cassette tape as the haunting melodies of The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen and Jerusalem played softly in the background. Maybe I made up that last bit.

Given that he inherited a squad decimated by transfers – Nicholson, Severin, Hart, Clark – and had no time to get replacements signed before the transfer window closed last season, McGhee was forgiven by those who actually think about the situation if not by those whose first instinct is to replace the manager. In summer 2010, he signed a formidable number of players, some of whom have been successes – Folly, Hartley and Vernon – and others who have found it more difficult to match their skills to the SPL. November’s been a torrid month. Apart from the results, the injury list has not eased and there have been key suspensions. The squad must currently number around 18, and the average squad age cannot be much more than that.

Hicham Zerouali lit up the SPL with his outrageous fitba conjuring act

I’m not making excuses, I’m just pointing out that those who make the decisions have panicked and followed the only path they know, with little thought, it seems, given to where we go now. They have failed to match the manager’s ambition, and he’s the fall guy.

Ten years ago, we endured the depths of despair as Ebbe Skovdahl’s first season saw us finish bottom of the SPL, even though we reached both cup finals and experienced some thrills as the likes of the late Hicham Zerouali lit up the SPL with his outrageous fitba conjuring act. As we gnashed our teeth, our families’ teeth, the teeth of close friends and neighbours, we were promised that the new post-Bosman reality had kicked in and that the Dons were at the forefront in pioneering a new financial model which would match wages to hard facts economics and that we would outstrip our high-spending, deep-in-debt rivals as they too had to change.

Well, since then we’ve had the misery of bottom six finishes, harrowing cup defeats, dreadful football, some of the worst players in my forty five years supporting the Dons wear the sacred red and a litany of managers who have not counted among their abilities the skills necessary to turn base metal or straw into gold, or even silverware. Those profligate rivals occupy the ten places above us in the SPL.

There have been two constants during this time – the Board of Directors and the club’s continuing willingness to soak the fans for ever-higher admission prices with improvement neither to the standard of football nor the club’s position.

Imagine, if you will, we had, say, a leading builder on the board, would he continue to charge the same or higher prices for his houses during a recession and a dip in demand? If, perchance, a couple of international financial investment gurus were on our board, do you think that they would fail to speculate to accumulate when they returned from the board lunch to manage their clients’ investment portfolios?

Other opinions are available, but mine is right.

Nov 262010
 

Voice’s David Innes, a sometime bastard in the black, looks at this week’s threatened strike by SPL referees after weeks of controversy.

When Willie Collum sent Rory McArdle off at Pittodrie last week, I joined with the rest of the fair-minded, judicious and sagely punters of Section Y in ranting foul-mouthedly about the ref’s dubious lineage, his resemblance to both male and female external reproductive organs and the fact that were he ever to join the Mile High Club, it would be a solo flight.

I was not the worst, but I held my own. Just as we were accusing him of doing, I suppose. That’s where it ended though. No matter what resentment I felt at Collum’s performance, it’s over, it’s in the past and I’m now more concerned about where we’ll be in the table come the festive season.
I think that’s the way most fans take these things. We rage when things go against us but suffer memory blanks for decisions which have gone in our favour. We rant, we rave, we slaver and gnash our teeth, but accept it stoically as part of the game. And we should not forget that it IS just a game.

I cannot understand what goes on in the minds of supporters who insist on taking these things further, to the extent of threatening referees, their homes and property and their families. What sort of empty lives must such individuals and mobs lead to make them behave in such a way? I’m as fanatical as the next fan about my team, I love to see them winning – and it will happen again, believe – and can take defeat badly especially against certain teams.

Of course, I have long held the opinion that those who wish to associate themselves with the alien and discriminatory cultures at certain successful clubs, having no local or cultural affinity with those clubs have something missing from their lives anyway, but that is another debate.

Referees are now threatening to strike because they feel their integrity has been called into question. Dougie McDonald has admitted lying and should resign. That would not be the end of the matter, I’m sure, despite what some influential people claim. Before long, some other poor sap in black would be accused of being part of the conspiracy against whoever feels slighted and who cannot accept that some days you’re the doo and on others, you’re the statue.

Being called a wanker by 10-year olds quickly loses its precocious charm

Do I support the strike? Yes, and not just because of the high profile issue currently exciting Jimmy Inarticulate, first-time caller by the way Jim, and readers of the Daily Paps.

In years gone by, as a fitba coach asked to referee games every week, I thought I’d better do the knowledge and make sure that every time I blew the Acme Thunderer that I knew what the hell I was deciding. I went over to the Dark Side, turned from poacher to gamie, took the king’s shilling and became a bastard in the black. It was great fun. I learned a lot. I found out that playground-ingrained received wisdom was, well, not really wise at all.

I didn’t last too long doing it as a favour to kids’ teams though. Being called a wanker by 10-year olds quickly loses its precocious charm. Dealing with boorish coaches who believed they were Alex Ferguson and who seemed intent on acting out their own fitba fantasies by instructing bairns to kick and maim other bairns saddened me. Doing the right thing by talking to players, telling ‘keepers, “Aye, it’s OK to pick it up, it wisna a pass back” or taking 5 minutes at half time to instruct a constantly-infringing team on the correct way to take a throw-in but being abused by grown men on the sidelines for so doing wasn’t an ideal way to spend a sleety Sunday morning at Aulton.

Watching 9 year olds dive outrageously to try to win penalties (not on MY watch, sonny) and adopt other “professional” insidiousness they had seen on Murdoch TV disillusioned me. It did the same to many of my peers who began with less cynicism than I had. We just became “unavailable” when asked. The message got through quickly enough and the calls stopped.

It begins at that level. It reaches its pathetic zenith at professional level. Someone’s going to get hurt and by then it will be too late for recriminations and hand-wringing.

Have your strike, comrades. It’s unlikely that I’ll be at an SPL game this week, but I’d happily join in the “scab” chants at the shoehorned-in replacements who will be adding to the problem rather than help solve it.

Aug 272010
 

Introducing the poetic witterings of Wullie McGeezagoal: Poet Laureate of the dung mound!

Pittodrie, spiritual hame o’ the Dons
nae near as guid as it wis once,
So they’re flittin, tae anither place,
the plans are in, an’ for the maist,

They’re lookin grand, but fits the haste?
Nae use in gaun in ower too fest.
Fan the fowk o Nigg are nae ower enamour’t
An the team are seek o’ gettin hammer’t

An the cooncil noo are takkin a beatin,
In Union Terrace, Torry an Seaton,
Ah wid think the last thing they’d be needin
Is the thocht o’ ‘Niggers’ pittin the beet in.

Ther’s fowk fa think it would be best
The build the new perk oot tae the west
Far the much anticipated WPR
Would be better tae get tae in a car

An athoot a great big loch aroon,
Nae muckle chunce onybody would droon
Ye see, park and watter dinna mix
Fan ye want tae see some funcy tricks

Jist look at Motherwells Fir Park
Last restin place o’ Noahs Ark
Cos drainage can be a michty pain
fan yev twinty thoosan on the wye tae a game

Ah surmise a puckly folk micht complain
If they’re forced tae turn their bus back hame
Due tae unprecedented precipitation
The loch grows, an swicks in tae the stadium.

The ducks micht find it weel an dry
whilst the ‘todrie gulls skrakk “far’s ma Setterday pie?”
And the geese come flyin in for a gander
An’ ane say’s ‘My shotty, Ah’ll be Zander?’

Locals canna ging for the Cove game neither
If their perk is ower close a neebour
an the loch taks on the rain an swells
theres naeb’dy tae blame but yer ain feel sel’s

Pittodrie wis made oot o’ a mound o’ shite
but oot o’ that cam mony a night
tae look back on time an’ time again
an’ smile an think ‘noo that wis the game’

The plannin is in, but fit’s the plan?
A’ the fans want tae ken is fan,
fittiver, farivver, fanivver, an’ fit
the Dons can dae tae be a tad less shit!

Nae cups, nae flags for ower mony years,
the fans have lang rin oot o’ tears
nae money for players, nae place in the sun,
But “at’ll a’ change fan we get a new grun”

”Well stick it in a bog, cos a bog’s nae bloody use,
An we’ll dae awa wi Pittodrie cos thers plunty needin a hoose
An if the new grun sinks, then the insurance surely will
Buy aff the folk, an get the park we’re needin in Westhill”

Dedicated tae fowk o’ Nigg and Loirston – See article.