Aug 272010

Introducing the poetic witterings of Wullie McGeezagoal: Poet Laureate of the dung mound!

Pittodrie, spiritual hame o’ the Dons
nae near as guid as it wis once,
So they’re flittin, tae anither place,
the plans are in, an’ for the maist,

They’re lookin grand, but fits the haste?
Nae use in gaun in ower too fest.
Fan the fowk o Nigg are nae ower enamour’t
An the team are seek o’ gettin hammer’t

An the cooncil noo are takkin a beatin,
In Union Terrace, Torry an Seaton,
Ah wid think the last thing they’d be needin
Is the thocht o’ ‘Niggers’ pittin the beet in.

Ther’s fowk fa think it would be best
The build the new perk oot tae the west
Far the much anticipated WPR
Would be better tae get tae in a car

An athoot a great big loch aroon,
Nae muckle chunce onybody would droon
Ye see, park and watter dinna mix
Fan ye want tae see some funcy tricks

Jist look at Motherwells Fir Park
Last restin place o’ Noahs Ark
Cos drainage can be a michty pain
fan yev twinty thoosan on the wye tae a game

Ah surmise a puckly folk micht complain
If they’re forced tae turn their bus back hame
Due tae unprecedented precipitation
The loch grows, an swicks in tae the stadium.

The ducks micht find it weel an dry
whilst the ‘todrie gulls skrakk “far’s ma Setterday pie?”
And the geese come flyin in for a gander
An’ ane say’s ‘My shotty, Ah’ll be Zander?’

Locals canna ging for the Cove game neither
If their perk is ower close a neebour
an the loch taks on the rain an swells
theres naeb’dy tae blame but yer ain feel sel’s

Pittodrie wis made oot o’ a mound o’ shite
but oot o’ that cam mony a night
tae look back on time an’ time again
an’ smile an think ‘noo that wis the game’

The plannin is in, but fit’s the plan?
A’ the fans want tae ken is fan,
fittiver, farivver, fanivver, an’ fit
the Dons can dae tae be a tad less shit!

Nae cups, nae flags for ower mony years,
the fans have lang rin oot o’ tears
nae money for players, nae place in the sun,
But “at’ll a’ change fan we get a new grun”

”Well stick it in a bog, cos a bog’s nae bloody use,
An we’ll dae awa wi Pittodrie cos thers plunty needin a hoose
An if the new grun sinks, then the insurance surely will
Buy aff the folk, an get the park we’re needin in Westhill”

Dedicated tae fowk o’ Nigg and Loirston – See article.