Nov 262010
 

Voice’s David Innes, a sometime bastard in the black, looks at this week’s threatened strike by SPL referees after weeks of controversy.

When Willie Collum sent Rory McArdle off at Pittodrie last week, I joined with the rest of the fair-minded, judicious and sagely punters of Section Y in ranting foul-mouthedly about the ref’s dubious lineage, his resemblance to both male and female external reproductive organs and the fact that were he ever to join the Mile High Club, it would be a solo flight.

I was not the worst, but I held my own. Just as we were accusing him of doing, I suppose. That’s where it ended though. No matter what resentment I felt at Collum’s performance, it’s over, it’s in the past and I’m now more concerned about where we’ll be in the table come the festive season.
I think that’s the way most fans take these things. We rage when things go against us but suffer memory blanks for decisions which have gone in our favour. We rant, we rave, we slaver and gnash our teeth, but accept it stoically as part of the game. And we should not forget that it IS just a game.

I cannot understand what goes on in the minds of supporters who insist on taking these things further, to the extent of threatening referees, their homes and property and their families. What sort of empty lives must such individuals and mobs lead to make them behave in such a way? I’m as fanatical as the next fan about my team, I love to see them winning – and it will happen again, believe – and can take defeat badly especially against certain teams.

Of course, I have long held the opinion that those who wish to associate themselves with the alien and discriminatory cultures at certain successful clubs, having no local or cultural affinity with those clubs have something missing from their lives anyway, but that is another debate.

Referees are now threatening to strike because they feel their integrity has been called into question. Dougie McDonald has admitted lying and should resign. That would not be the end of the matter, I’m sure, despite what some influential people claim. Before long, some other poor sap in black would be accused of being part of the conspiracy against whoever feels slighted and who cannot accept that some days you’re the doo and on others, you’re the statue.

Being called a wanker by 10-year olds quickly loses its precocious charm

Do I support the strike? Yes, and not just because of the high profile issue currently exciting Jimmy Inarticulate, first-time caller by the way Jim, and readers of the Daily Paps.

In years gone by, as a fitba coach asked to referee games every week, I thought I’d better do the knowledge and make sure that every time I blew the Acme Thunderer that I knew what the hell I was deciding. I went over to the Dark Side, turned from poacher to gamie, took the king’s shilling and became a bastard in the black. It was great fun. I learned a lot. I found out that playground-ingrained received wisdom was, well, not really wise at all.

I didn’t last too long doing it as a favour to kids’ teams though. Being called a wanker by 10-year olds quickly loses its precocious charm. Dealing with boorish coaches who believed they were Alex Ferguson and who seemed intent on acting out their own fitba fantasies by instructing bairns to kick and maim other bairns saddened me. Doing the right thing by talking to players, telling ‘keepers, “Aye, it’s OK to pick it up, it wisna a pass back” or taking 5 minutes at half time to instruct a constantly-infringing team on the correct way to take a throw-in but being abused by grown men on the sidelines for so doing wasn’t an ideal way to spend a sleety Sunday morning at Aulton.

Watching 9 year olds dive outrageously to try to win penalties (not on MY watch, sonny) and adopt other “professional” insidiousness they had seen on Murdoch TV disillusioned me. It did the same to many of my peers who began with less cynicism than I had. We just became “unavailable” when asked. The message got through quickly enough and the calls stopped.

It begins at that level. It reaches its pathetic zenith at professional level. Someone’s going to get hurt and by then it will be too late for recriminations and hand-wringing.

Have your strike, comrades. It’s unlikely that I’ll be at an SPL game this week, but I’d happily join in the “scab” chants at the shoehorned-in replacements who will be adding to the problem rather than help solve it.

Nov 262010
 

Voice’s Old Susannah tackles more tricky terms with a locally topical taste.

Get Well Soon

To the 126 Aberdeenshire and 169 Aberdeen City Council employees who are either sick or suspended with pay.  Perhaps there is some serious illness doing the rounds in Grampian?

The Telegraph has produced an interactive map showing Council expenditures and expenses throughout the UK; the number of our city and shire’s absentees on the payroll is many times higher than the number to be found anywhere else in Scotland.  In fact, the Bureau of Investigative Journalism reports Aberdeen City Council is 4th in the whole of the UK for number of staff on long-term sick – with the Shire’s council hot on its heels at No. 6. But when it comes to the average number of sick days lost per year per person, no other council in the country can hold a candle to Aberdeen:  15.5 days each year are lost on average for every one of the council’s employees. The Council makes me feel ill; looks like I’m not alone in that.

Journalism : The free press has been called the ‘Fourth Estate’, referring to its ideal function which is acting as an unofficial fourth branch of government, providing balance and information to ensure freedom of ideas, and thereby keeping a check on government and fostering democracy.  A free, non-biased press should provide information for its readers to digest so they can reach their own conclusions.

No less a figure than outgoing Editor Derek Tucker of the Press & Journal recently addressed the ‘Society of Editors’; he complained that journalism courses are not producing the right calibrate of journalists.  Tucker said “… very few [of the journalism graduates] possess the street cunning and inquisitiveness that is the hallmark of good journalists and it often appears that English is a second language.”

Old Susannah wonders what would make for a bad newspaper.  Would it be headlines created from extremely bad, old-fashioned puns?  Gigantic photos camouflaging the lack of journalistic content?  Deliberately biased stories favouring the plans of the paper’s larger advertisers?  Elevation of minor local news stories above more important world events?  Misleading headlines and stories – perhaps (just as an example) painting opponents of City and Shire council plans (like the destruction of UTG) as being organised, ignorant trouble-makers?  Deliberate lack of investigative journalism focus on powerful local figures and institutions?  Printing stories a day or two after they appeared on the BBC website?  Elevating mediocre stories of minor sporting events to gigantic epics to fill space?  Lack of spelling and grammatical know-how?

Thankfully, we have had Mr Tucker to save us from such appalling stuff.  It is also most unkind that Derek Tucker has been given an unflattering nickname in the ‘Cockney rhyming style’.  Obviously he has studiously encouraged ‘street cunning and inquisitiveness’ at the P&J, by ensuring corruption in public and private sectors is uncovered, and by printing such a wide range of opinion and thought in the editorial section.

We wish “Miserable F…” – I mean Derek Tucker – a happy retirement.

There is nothing natural about the City’s attitude to the natural landscape

Landscapes : In my last column, I wrote about a green, leafy landscape painting of Union Terrace Gardens I’d seen.  Aberdeen City Council, too, appreciates landscapes; in its ‘Planning and Sustainable  Development’ web page it gives the nod to how very important landscapes are.

Believe it or not, landscapes are what we put buildings in. If that is not clear, they have put a picture of a tree in a wide expanse of green field on the web page to illustrate the point – although finding a sole tree in a huge field would be a hard task in this town.

While our City Planners admit on their web page that landscapes ‘..provide the settings of towns and cities and make an important contribution to environmental quality and a sense of place’, they certainly don’t want developers to think the landscape should have to stay as it is.  There is nothing natural about the City’s attitude to the natural landscape – anyone (like Mr Milne) can develop almost anything as long as once they destroy the existing natural landscape and wildlife habitats, they make some new landscape in place of the old.  As the planners put it,

“… when applying for planning permission for a new development, a landscape scheme for the external spaces around buildings will often need to accompany proposals”.

It is this policy which will allow Mr Milne to destroy Loirston Loch’s natural habitats and beauty – all he needs is a scheme to plant a shrub and have some kind of landscape at some future point.  And fair enough – when we are in the community stadium listening to Status Quo or finding out who can do the broad jump further than the next guy, we won’t care what used to be there.  The last remnants of wildlife which depend on Loirston as a stopping point to rest, feed and drink will just go to one of the many other lochs and green fields we’ve got, even if the closest is miles away – the extra exercise will probably do the animals good.  For far too long the developers have had to jump through hoops to get permission for their schemes (permission which they were always going to get in the first place).  Something had to be done to speed things up, and it has…

It is official then – no more boring old-fashioned people interested in the environment, old buildings, history, etc

Modernisation of Planning Process : Scotland, the Shire and the City have been too demanding in the past of the kindly souls who want to turn our fields into housing estates, community stadiums and shopping malls for our benefit.  Thankfully, the process for planning is being modernised.  To modernise means to update a scheme, law, or way of doing things to bring it in line with how it would have been done in the 1960s.  No more ‘unnecessary’ consultations with Community Councils – as Cove and Nigg Community Councils can attest to.  In fact, Aberdeen now boasts that

“…we only consult where necessary with the agencies – SNH, SEPA, Transport Scotland, Historic Scotland, …”

It is official then – no more boring old-fashioned people interested in the environment, old buildings, history, etc. will be engaged unless absolutely necessary.  Build what you want.  SEPA is clearly on board with this thinking already – it had a chance to make an evaluation on the planned ‘community’ stadium’ – and came up with three relatively minor objections relating to drainage and the like.  Maybe they think the concrete and parking spaces will help protect the environment. Maybe SEPA is due for a re-naming and re-branding exercise – getting rid of the quaint references to ‘Environment’ and ‘Protection’ would be a good start.

Nov 052010
 

Books of interest to Dons fans are being published in ever-increasing numbers at the moment. David Innes advises Reds to remember this when writing to Santa next month.

As probably the last Dons striker who fans would have crawled over broken glass to watch perform some mundane dressing room activity such as tying up his socks, Duncan Shearer’s story is told in straightforward style, co-written by Paul Smith.

Fitba biographies are rarely controversial and the stories we really want to hear are inevitably kept from us. Shearer Wonderland is little different although Duncan expresses fairly strong views about his former boss Steve Paterson and that individual’s unfortunate personal problems, and doesn’t hold back when criticising former colleague John Inglis.

He also questions, as many of us do, the wisdom of spending precious cash on a Director of Football when the playing budget is pared to the bone. This is, however, no personal criticism of the current post-holder who Duncan describes as one of the most thorough and passionate managers for whom he played.

However, Duncan’s stint at Pittodrie was only a fleeting part of a long career and he gives insights to his life as a professional at Chelsea, Huddersfield, Swindon and Blackburn. Especially interesting are his reminisces of the financial side of a game which was much simpler then and his reaction to the different managerial styles of those he served, including Lou Macari and Osvaldo Ardiles.

Of course, the chapters about his time in the sacred red will be of most interest to Voice readers. His love for the club he eventually joined in the latter stages of his career, and which he was eventually to manage with Steve Paterson, is obvious. If you were there, you’ll know what a godsend a striker of Shearer’s ability and power was, and how much he was adored.

This affection was reciprocated and Shearer believes that his relationship with the fans was due as much to his refusal to stay aloof from supporters but to mingle with them socially, eschewing the hip footballers’ nightspots and lifestyle. Although he scored in our last trophy win, he is adamant that his most important Dons goal was the one which effectively put despicable Dundee United rather than the Dons into the First Division in 1995. And so say all of us.

Someone could have proof-read it better though – Neale Cooper is Peterheid’s manager – Neil Cooper is youth coach.

There are also intensely personal passages about the poverty of working class Lochaber and his parents’ struggle to survive financially and of traumatic family tragedies. Never forgetting his roots, there is significant coverage of his time in the Highland League as a Clachnacuddin player and as manager of Buckie Thistle.

Shearer Wonderland is well worth reading and it’s refreshing to read the life story of one of life’s good guys who appreciates the hand fate dealt him. Altogether now…”It’s a goal, Duncan Shearer….”

Shearer Wonderland. Duncan Shearer – The Autobiography. Black and White Publishing. 247 pages. £14.99. Co-written by Paul Smith.


Aug 132010
 

Shock after shock for Highland League fans as last Saturday’s results came in. Voice’s David Innes explains.

Deveronvale, perennially among the clubs tipped for trophies, are one of four clubs sitting on no points after Clach, unlucky at Buckie last week, came raiding and sauntered smugly back to the Highlands with all three points and a stunning 3-0 victory. Continue reading »

Aug 132010
 

On Fire With Fergie – Me, My Dad and the Dons – Stuart Donald.

Hachette Scotland 338 pages £12.99

As promised last week, when Aberdeen Voice appeared to be unique in giving media coverage to the launch of this and the Heritage Trust’s books, Voice’s David Innes, rises from his settee where he’s been glued to On Fire With Fergie since he took it home.

Stuart Donald’s three-pronged approach in writing On Fire With Fergie, documenting his personal rites of passage story of falling in and out of love with the 80s Dons, recording those incredible victories and celebrations whilst paying tribute to his late dad, Gordon Donald, “The Chancellor” to whom the book is dedicated, is beautifully successful.

Although of much older vintage than the author, I can identify with almost every sentence of Stuart’s narrative. The childhood naivety, the swelling hope, the tears, the tantrums, the eventual realisation that The Man in the grotesque guise of the Old Firm will flex his financial muscle, call in old favours and render our spike on the success graph as a temporary and unsustainable blip. But by hookey, it was fun while it lasted.

This is much more than a fitba book – it’s a well-written tale of familial relationships, adolescence, quiet rebellion and growing up and it’s among the best terracing-derived accounts of club football that I have read.

The passages of reported and remembered conversations, especially those featuring Donald senior are rib-tickling and have display stout granite-like profundity typical of wise NE Everydad. That they are reproduced in Doric renders them all the more relevant to the Dons and all the more pointed. I think that most Dons fans would have been able to relate to the sage but passionate Chancellor. It would surely have been a pleasure to have known him.

It’s heartening too that Stuart Donald is unafraid to say what he (and most Dons fans) thought thirty years ago – in turn describing in scornful terms Old Firm violence and bigotry, peer jealousy, despicable Dundee United’s status as a minor irritant to the Dons with whom they were always crazily bracketed by lazy hacks and who always crumpled, papier mache-like, in the face of the Old Firm when the chips were down. I trust he has not mellowed on any of these scores, for these have not changed much.

This is much more than a fitba book – it’s a well-written tale of familial relationships, adolescence, quiet rebellion and growing up and it’s among the best terracing-derived accounts of club football that I have read. I recommend it to anyone who lived through those sweet, heady days or to anyone curious about how fans viewed the most glorious period of our shared fitba and community heritage.

Aug 062010
 

By Dave Innes.

Two weeks in advance of the undoubted sterile dull predictability that will be the 2010-11 SPL, the Highland League kicked off on 30 July, with deposed champions Cove Rangers setting the early pace with a 5-0 win away at Nairn County.

Buckie Thistle, league winners last season for the first time since the late 1950s, opened by beating Clachnacuddin 3-1.

Continue reading »

Aug 062010
 

By David Innes

Aberdeen Football Club in the Scottish Qualifying Cup by Chris Gavin. Published by AFC Heritage Trust. 76 pages. £5.99

 

Published under the auspices of Aberdeen FC Heritage Trust, this first historical book in a planned series is an excellent start and sheds light on the early days of the Dons and their struggle to attain status as a senior club.

Continue reading »

Jul 232010
 

Pittodrie StadiumBy Dave Innes.

Doom, gloom, despondency and rumours of four dodgy-looking jockeys riding over the Broad Hill are prevalent among some Dons fans on websites and in the city’s bijou cafes since the nail-biting end to last season. The weekend’s 3-1 defeat by Fraserburgh did nothing but add to the inevitable white noise of supporter anguish. Continue reading »

Jul 092010
 

By Suzanne Kelly.

Democratic Government

A western style of social organisation existing to ensure that shopping and car park complexes are built, and disadvantaged and misunderstood multi-millionaires have an opportunity to make their voices heard by the ignorant masses. To create a democratic government, ‘elections’ are held, and the citizenry choose upstanding, sober members of their communities to make laws and regulations and shopping and car park complexes on their behalf.

Continue reading »

Jul 092010
 

By Barry Black.

The world watches on.

More than half the earth’s population will tune in to watch or listen to the World Cup, from New York to Sydney and London to Beijing. The world’s starlets display their skills as all set out to prove they’re the best. The cameras show off the glitzy new stadia of the host country. As the world focuses on South Africa this year, it will be no different. Considering the joy and happiness it brings and the revenue it produces, it can’t be a bad thing, can it?

Continue reading »