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Siege Of Heathryfold Update: Still No Justice For George

Aberdeen City, Articles, Featured, Information 3 Responses »

Apr 252014

Serious questions need to be answered about how Grampian Police – now Police Scotland handled an incident last June. It’s time for a reminder of what happened during the Siege of Heathryfold, and to let people know that the search for answers is far from over. By Suzanne Kelly.

The man who wasn’t there.

George Copland’s home which was at the centre of an armed seige on June 7 2013

In June of last year, witnesses claimed a man with a gun was inside a flat in Heathryfold, Aberdeen.
This was however an empty flat – a flat far from the main road and at the end of a row of two houses accessible by a gate – you would have had to be very close to the windows to have seen anything inside, and no explanation has yet been offered as to what the witnesses were doing and how they conceivably came to the conclusion a man with a gun was inside.

Even though there are many legal reasons for people to have guns (hunting is legal, so are pellet guns), the police decided the answer was to surround the building, cordon off streets, bring in specialist teams, and lay siege to an empty property. [Those of you with hunting rifles, shooting range pistols, starter’s guns had best take note].

They entered, and finding no one home, clearly giving the gunman story the lie, the police decided to ransack the flat from top to bottom. Perhaps the gunman was hiding in the medicine chest or in the CD rack. This search seems to have happened before they finally spoke to George Copland, the property owner, on the telephone.

Seeing his flat on television surrounded by armed men, and getting a call telling him to meet the police (and not saying he could bring a friend, adviser or lawyer) George, who has a history known to the police of physical and mental health issues, was quite understandably frightened, and he declined to meet them.

He says the police were already inside his building; they say they only entered after he refused to meet them. This is one of at least half a dozen questions that need to be answered. But clearly as Copland wasn’t in his home, he couldn’t have been the hunted gunman.

The man with the feather duster gun.

Still, the police were not content with the search results (could it be they didn’t want to look silly for deploying a fair bit of back up at what must have been considerable expense for a hoax?). Days later they burst Copland’s girlfriend’s door down in a dawn raid, and took Copland into custody (whether or not this was a formal arrest is unknown to this day).

Searched, put into a boiler suit, possibly with medication withheld from him (another issue requiring clarification), he was allegedly asked to say that a feather duster he owned could have looked like a gun (the Sun newspaper ran a story on this).

the police have so far refused to release any information on the case

George’s account of seeing a doctor at the time differs with what the police said happened. It is certain they knew he had mental health issues before the siege; it is certain they didn’t let him have an adviser, friend or lawyer during the long hours of his detention.

Copland also says that before his release from custody, one of the police named one of the witnesses – an interesting move on their part, and one which like so many issues needs to be examined. Aberdeen Voice knows the identity of the person allegedly named to Copland, and it is debatable whether they would have made a credible witness.

The Right to Remain Silent – well, for Police Scotland anyway

Left with several eggs on their face, the police have so far refused to release any information on the case. A Freedom of Information request was lodged but information, as well as a reasonable request for compensation, was denied.

Copland was not up to the stress or the challenge of dealing with the FOI process; he asked for assistance. He authorised an Aberdeen Voice reporter to make enquiries of the police on his behalf. Two different signed, detailed permission letters from George bearing his address and signature were submitted to the police by email, and one original letter was delivered as well.

The police still refused to release information or contemplate compensation, and several different correspondents from the police side got involved. Some correspondence was done by email; some via the police’s online comments form. A paralegal refused to use email; and correspondence flew back and forth for months.

Finally, when Police Scotland refused the FOI request, a request for a review of how they handled the FOI request was made. This was submitted on their online form as no email address was given to make an appeal to.

The first time the request for a review was sent, it somehow was never received by the police.

It’s almost as if they had something to hide

The online form was used a second time to request the review. The request for the review advised the police to ask if they needed further information.

This second request via the online form was received, and in due course a letter came, saying a review found they had handled the FOI request perfectly.

The police said among other things that they did not have sufficient permission from George Copland for Aberdeen Voice to be given information. Did they email him, write to him or phone him to corroborate that all the submitted permission forms were genuine? No.

Does it then seem as if Police Scotland are implying that Aberdeen Voice were seeking personal data without authorisation? Yes.

After months of trying to get information and jumping through various hoops, the police refused to explain what they did and why. (It’s almost as if they had something to hide).

At that stage of the labyrinthine process, it was time to bring the entire matter to the Information Commissioner for them to consider. If the previous correspondence with the police had been confusing, the eventual Information Commissioner’s outcome was something else altogether.

It could be called Kafkaesque, but the bizarre decision, possibly unprecedented, also has a Catch 22 element.

Kafka steps in

All the correspondence was summarised, and the important items were sent to the Information Commissioner’s office – this included the request for the review and the letter giving the review outcome. So far, so good.

On 18 April Aberdeen Voice’s reporter received a letter in the post saying the Information Commissioner would not look into this case. The reason? The request sent to the police was not specific enough.

The police had the request to review how they handled this Freedom of Information request. They were told to revert if they needed more specifics. They didn’t. They went ahead and held a review upholding their actions in withholding the facts from George Copland and Aberdeen Voice.

that dialogue aspect of FOI requests doesn’t seem to exist now

Now, months later, someone has decided that the request for the review which was held wasn’t quite good enough. Kafka might have come up with this.

Information Commissioner – has the rulebook changed?

When Aberdeen Voice was involved in a FOI commission investigation into property dealings between Stewart Milne and Aberdeen City Council, we were informed every step of the way as to what the council was claiming and what they were telling the information commissioner’s office.

AV was able to counter points successfully and in the end the City had to release information.

Somehow that dialogue aspect of FOI requests doesn’t seem to exist now. Any first year law student would be making good points as to how holding a review pretty much gives validation to the request for a review.

AV had no such opportunity to put up the case for law, logic and common sense. We will be asking how often this defence is used when refusing to investigate FOI matters. It certainly seems the rules have changed.

Carte Blanche

The police are no strangers to requests for information which wind up going to the Information Commissioner. However, the police do not have to release any info which may make the public lose confidence in them.

This is basically giving the police carte blanche to do as they please with complete immunity and no fear of accountability getting in their way. With public confidence in the police already low, surely this aspect of how the Information Commissioner operates must be reviewed and changed.

It would be interesting to know how many times this public confidence exemption has been used by the police in past FOI appeals to the Commissioner.

More questions likely to remain unanswered.

Whose idea was it to claim the request for a review was invalid – the Police, the Information Commissioner’s office – or both?

Why did they hold a review if they didn’t need to?

Why did it take until 15 April for anyone to claim that the review which was held didn’t need to be held?

If the request was not valid, why did Police Scotland hold the review in the first place?

Since the request for review, as submitted online (no documents could be attached,) offered to supply further details for the review request if needed, why didn’t anyone point out that there wasn’t sufficient grounds given for a review?

How could the police possibly claim they didn’t have enough valid permission to release the requested information at the review stage when they could have had clarification at any time?

Does holding a review validate the request for a review?

Was the way the Siege of Heathryfold handled reasonable? Was the way George Copland was treated legal, fair and suitable for someone with known health issues?

To come back months after the review was held, and claim that the request for the review was invalid makes police Scotland appear either to be disingenuous, or disorganised. Why did they hold a review if they didn’t need to? It’s almost as if someone higher up got wind of this, and decided to try and derail it.

Surely not.

It ain’t over til it’s over.

Perhaps the police involved in this incident may not want to breathe that sigh of relief just yet. Information will indeed still be sought by various other avenues.

Oh, and if the police are interested, the Police Complaints Commission has been formally asked to look into this entire incident as well. Time will tell what comes of that.

More info – previous Voice articles.

seige-a-hoax-but-the-damage-all-too-real/
siege-of-heathryfold-and-george-copland-arrest-latest/
benefit-concert-for-heathryfold-siege-man/
siege-heathryfold-update/
siege-heathryfold-devastation-no-compensation/

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Victoria Road School – A Housing Opportunity

Aberdeen City, Information 7 Responses »

Apr 212014

Torry has some amazing buildings, wonderful open spaces, history, and biodiversity. Victoria Road School is an important part of the community, and it should be rescued and not demolished. Suzanne Kelly reports

Torry has taken more than its share of hits in the past.

The original fishing village cottages were torn down for the oil and gas industry; it had a sewage plant plunked on the coast next to Nigg Bay, and its green open spaces and coastline are under a number of threats.

Tullos Hill was denuded of animals and gorse for a tree planting scheme despite strong local opposition. It was made to sell coastal lands some years back to help the city balance its books.

Despite building new social housing on the school’s doorstep, the school was closed. Now there are plans to flatten one of our most recognisable landmark buildings, Victoria Road School,

Even though Victoria Road School was closed during the austerity cuts (and it should be noted that parents who worked for the council were strictly forbidden from protesting the closure of the school and its services) it remains an important, iconic, historic structure which should be re-designated as much-needed housing.

If the building is remodelled for housing, possibly with public spaces as well, it will benefit the local and wider Aberdeen communities. The council will hopefully be convinced to choose this greener option of re-use rather than destruction to save this important part of our built heritage.

Perhaps even more importantly, choosing a greener path will benefit the environment as there will be considerably less of a carbon footprint associated with re-use of the existing structure. Aberdeen has four of Scotland’s top ten most polluted roads; and two of them (Market Street and Wellington Road) impact on Torry.

The city is behind in its CO2 targets; continuous loss of green belt and destruction of buildings which could be renovated add to this avoidable pollution. Such initiatives have been used in other parts of the UK for quite some time, and it is time Aberdeen embraced such schemes which will preserve the fabric of our granite heritage which creating housing.

The City’s own publication, Torry Urban Trail says:

“ Torry Public School opened on 2 May 1873 on Abbey Road. The local Fishermen’s Association had voted £1400 towards its construction. As the population grew in size there was a need to expand the school. In 1905 the old Abbey Road school was extended considerably, at a cost of £8700, and renamed Victoria Road Primary School. Part of the old building was incorporated into the infants’ section of the ‘new’ school.”

The school was built from the generosity of the Torry fishing community.

The Old Torry area has unique local history, architectural character and environmental sensitivity as well. Doing anything to further alter the nature of the residential area would only be detrimental.

The community was not long ago asked to sell some of its green land to the Fisheries Commission so they could enlarge their own building’s footprint; the gift to the local residents was an all-weather pitch – which was meant to benefit the Victoria Road School children.

Later on social housing was built in the area; one of the main reasons the housing was welcomed by existing community was that the family housing would increase the number of pupils at Victoria Road School. The closure of this much-loved school and community centre has had a detrimental effect on the residents and the area.

It is a building which can easily be re-used for the benefit of all. The housing proposal for this site will benefit the community; it should be the option taken.

Local resident Fraser Mitchell had this to say:

“Granite is part of our city’s USP (that’s Unique Selling Proposition for those not fluent in marketing-speak.) ‘The Granite City’ and ‘The Silver City’ – the alternative names by which Aberdeen is known throughout Scotland, Britain and the rest of the world – conjure up images of imposing structures as Marischal College, the Music Hall and the Town House.

“Somehow ‘The Concrete n’ Glass City’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. But you just need to take a walk or a drive around Aberdeen to see how many recent buildings just don’t seem to fit in with the established ones and look, well, very much out of place. Like a blueberry muffin in a tray of rowies.

“This is why we should be doing our utmost to preserve our existing granite heritage and, where structures are threatened, use our creative energies to ‘reboot’ them for the 21st century.

“The impending demolition of the Lower Hospital at Cornhill, parts of which date from 1822, shows the danger of leaving sites derelict. Gutted in a fire last Guy Fawkes Night, much of the site is to be cleared to make way for a housing development by a prominent building company.

“The same cannot be permitted to happen to Victoria Road School. Although the buildings are neither listed nor in the ‘premier league’ of Aberdeen’s granite buildings, they are of historical merit and without doubt are an integral part of the fabric of Torry.

“There’s no point in saying what we should have done or could have done once the bulldozers have moved in for the kill – the action must be taken now.”

It is strongly suggested anyone interested in saving this building from demolition should contact their councillors now. You can find them here.

A petition was just launched to save Victoria Road School; it can be found here.

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Old Susannah No. 147 – Mending Broken Hearts & Legs

Opinion, Satire and Humour 12 Responses »

Apr 082014

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho, Cheerio, etc. It’s genuinely been a great week in the granite city. I had some great new BrewDog single hop beers this week; the Amarillo on draft was heavenly (yes, I still have my 5 BrewDog shares).

I also had a great vegetarian meal in Café 52 (yes, I know them, too – funny that my weeks often involve doing things I like with people I like); congrats to them on being named one of the city’s top 10 restaurants in an article by Kirsty Ellington Langan (whose father I know – but I’d no idea she’d written this review – which also rates Rustico and Yatai, both of which I greatly enjoy – though I don’t know the people behind them).

There are however restaurateurs who review their own places on the Trip Advisor website and even offer incentives for good reviews. Such practices are totally against Trip Advisor rules of course (thankfully I don’t associate with anyone like that).

I’m also busy working on some paintings for a group show at Under The Hammer which will be going up next Saturday; do stop in if you’re around (wine will be had around 3pm).

Aside from that I’m busy getting my garden in shape with help from some friends. Lots of bee and butterfly friendly plants coming soon from the excellent Poyntzfield nursery on the Black Isle (don’t know them, but have used them for years). Best of all, Lord Warner (don’t know him) has a scheme which will save the NHS! Result! And that’s how the spring is starting for me.

The campaign to save and re-open Bon Accord Baths has cross-party support and thousands of supporters throughout the area. Lions and lambs are lying down together, doves are flying around with olive branches, and editorials in different local media all seem to think this great idea is a great idea. (PS I’m happy to be helping the campaign in some small measure).

A gathering place for all citizens in the centre of the city, offering affordable exercise and a social hub? What’s not to like? Could this ‘mend our broken heart’ (copyright P&J)?

It looks as if some £5 million or so will be needed to get the baths running. At present a team of volunteers with all sorts of expertise are working on it; help if you can. No doubt some of the city’s better off multimillionaires who want to see a unifying city centre gathering place that benefits the public will be keen to get involved. Let’s see – £5 million is 4.6% of £92 million, and 7% of £140 million. Just saying.

In case anyone’s wondering, that is. Find out how to help here.

Let’s face it; war is hell

It is understood that the officials who banned the BBC from entering the art deco baths to do a spot of filming are going to soon see sense and let the BBC film there after all.

Dangerous buildings are of course something to be taken seriously; no doubt the city’s Westburn House, a listed property at high risk, will be given some tlc.

On the dangerous structure note, things are very grim in Edinburgh. A 12 year old girl is dead after a wall in Liberton High School’s PE block fell on her. Edinburgh Council had an unfortunate recent history of managing public and private property repairs. A scandal is still unfolding wherein its repairs officials forced private home owners to undertake remedial works at hugely inflated fees – some of the work is thought to have been unnecessary.

As the BBC put it:

“Two reports which reveal how a £40m black hole emerged in Edinburgh City Council’s property repairs department have been published. Auditors from Deloitte were called in two years ago to investigate allegations of fraud and mismanagement. They found serious failings and a lack of accountability in how the department was run. The department’s head, Dave Anderson has since resigned.”
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-22314731 . (I hope Anderson got a nice golden goodbye package).

No wonder they didn’t have time to ensure the city’s own properties were well maintained. City Council teams have since “..found nine walls similar to the one which collapsed on Keane in Castlebrae Community High and Leith Academy secondary schools. A number of smaller free-standing walls were also identified in 11 primary schools.” according to Metro 4/4/14). Let’s hope the city will get its act together soon. Perhaps Aberdeen could take some proactive measures and fix its problem properties?

Perhaps it’s time for a few definitions spawned from this week’s news reports.

Trauma training:

Let’s face it; war is hell. Once you’ve signed up to defend your country/king/queen/economy, you may have to kill people. Mostly this can be done these days without anyone but cannon fodder leaving command central. It’s great that we’ve drones that can whiz round to search and destroy; no one’s hands ever need get dirty (well apart from the odd Afghani wedding guest and the like).

Still, if you’re going to send out the infantry now and again (for police actions, obviously not wars), best to make sure you know how to give them proper first aid.

we can’t hurt business, bad for the economy don’t you know

You might get away without giving troopers the right kit for where you fly them, but you’ll need medics; it’s good PR if nothing else. When missile are going off, a medic might well be as useful as a 747 instruction card at 30 thousand feet or ducking and covering in the face of an incoming nuclear weapon. But it makes us look good.

Still, you’ll have to show you’ve got trained medics, and training can only mean one thing: defence contracts. Defence contracts can only mean one thing: money.

How can you possibly train medics and others how to deal with soldiers who’ve been mildly wounded by automatic weaponry, mines, chemical warfare or missiles? Why, by tying up live farm animals, shooting and stabbing them, operating on them as they suffer, and then killing them. Repeat as necessary. Stabbing and amputation is apparently a big seller on the trauma training circuit, though Old Susannah wonders whether there is really that much stabbing happening on our front lines? Not so much I suspect.

Is there a great deal of automatic weaponry created by east and west being used to turn soldiers into Swiss cheese who will be nearly impossible to save? Definitely. Are there plenty of mines out there ripping off the odd human arm and leg? Most definitely.

There are no alternatives to the tiny amount of suffering that the pigs and goats get when their limbs are hacked off by ‘trainers’. You’ve got an industry going now, and we can’t hurt business, bad for the economy don’t you know.

However, according to those pesty people at PETA,

“U.S., Canada, Norway, Denmark, the U.K., and Poland were the only six NATO countries—out of 28—that still stab, shoot, blow up, and kill animals for cruel military training drills.”

What else can we do but make money and make animals suffer? How better to prepare someone for treating a wounded troop than being able to take a bullet out of an enemy piglet? Well, while we’re busy sending troops out to make the world safe (how’s that working out for you by the way?), 36,000 victims of gunshot wounds were treated in United States Emergency rooms in 2010. According to the Los Angeles Times:-

“The medical journal Pediatrics this week reported that, based on the most recent data from 2009, children are hospitalized for gunshot wounds at a rate of 20 a day, or one child every 72 minutes, for a total of 7,391 hospitalizations in 2009. Nine of 10 wounded kids are male, and disproportionately African American, which focuses the problem even more.”
http://articles.latimes.com/2014/jan/28/news/la-ol-kids-guns-hospitals-gun-control-20140128

I don’t know why a Los Angeles paper would be interested in gun crime; perhaps it was a slow news day.

It’s gratifying that people in this kind of training work are so entrepreneurially creative

I think it’s so wonderful we’ve got doctors in the armed forces who want to save lives (doctors who nobly uphold their Hippocratic oaths by being complicit in shooting and killing animals and people). I suppose we could train the forces doctors in emergency rooms where people, not animals, were the ones who were being shot, but that’s probably not much of an income generator.

Then we come to landmines. That would be a good case for blowing live animals up, because there are only 70 landmine injuries a day every day in the world. I’m not suggesting anything ludicrous like sending troops to clean up the landmines of past wars and helping the civilians who get injured by our left behind junk; for one thing, I doubt there’s as much money in cleaning up after military actions as there is in setting them up.

Then we come to the scientific, medical, ethical and logical reasons why we need to stab pigs, sheep and goats to teach people how to treat stab wounds. I’ve no solution to that, as I can’t find any record of knife crime in the US, UK or Europe. Nope, guess we’d best stick it to the animals, literally. As usual.

It’s gratifying that people in this kind of training work are so entrepreneurially creative that they’ve come up with the wheeze of making money by torturing animals for democracy. If that’s not capitalism at its finest, then I don’t know what is.

There is one theory that briefly crossed my mind for a second; I dismissed it promptly. What if the real purpose of getting people to accept the squeals of suffering animals, and to be able to cause that suffering was not to teach how to suture up wounds, but rather to make the trainees immune to suffering, to bond them together in a bloody slaughterhouse, and to weed out anyone who would object to this ‘training’ and say ‘this is wrong’.

I guess my imagination must be in overdrive; surely the military wouldn’t engage in any psychological conditioning. The only stupider idea that came to me was to cut our military spending, and buy more bread than guns, solve conflicts peacefully by building infrastructure, and leave the animals out of trauma training.

To bring it closer to home, an Aberdeen University trained doctor hit a sticky wicket in Afghanistan after he failed to notice that detainee civilian Baha Mousa was beaten to a pulp and then to death by the UK’s peacekeeping forces. A witness reported hearing the murdered widower say:

“I am innocent. Blood! Blood! I am going to die. My children are going to become orphans.”

Did former healer Dr Keilloh act like a doctor should? Well, his pals think so. Dr Jim Rodger, medical adviser at the Medical and Dental Defence Union of Scotland, said:

“Dr Keilloh is extremely disappointed at the decision of this Fitness to Practise Panel and he will need time to consider the implications of this erasure and his future course of action. He would like to say how much he appreciated the wealth of support he has received from his family, patients, colleagues and friends.”

Phil Shiner, of Public Interest Lawyers, said:

“The medical profession is well rid of such a man. All those UK doctors in Iraq who also saw signs of ill-treatment of Iraqi detainees but took no action had best start to instruct lawyers.”
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/former-army-doctor-struck-off-over-death-of-iraq-detainee-baha-mousa-8428695.html

The NHS is saved! Thank you Lord Warner!

It would be good to know if Keilloh had undertaken trauma training. It seems he hadn’t had enough training in the first place, and he was traumatised. How dreadful for him:
Doctor who denied he saw Iraqi detainee’s injuries is struck off BMJ

The panel acknowledged that, at the time, Keilloh was still a junior doctor who had not been given the predeployment training he was supposed to have … accepted that Keilloh’s judgment may have been clouded by the traumatic experience [I dare say Baha Mousa’s experience was probably a bit more traumatic than Keilloh’s; and the torture of the trauma training animals was probably not a great time either]

NHS “membership charge” (Modern English compound noun c. Lord Warner) – a proposed flat £10 per week charge for using the National Health Service.

That nice Mr Nick Tesco of The Members was on Facebook this week, issuing some curious anthropomorphic swear words I hadn’t previously heard. What caused his distress? A think-tank has said we should all chip in £10 per week for the NHS. For some reason, Nick seemed unhappy.

Well, I’m sure like me you’re wondering why we didn’t just think of this sooner. The NHS is saved! Thank you Lord Warner! Warner once worked alongside St. Anthony Blair, who of course had nothing at all to do with sweetening the NHS for privatisation or carving it up for private companies to jump in. (or in engineering wars).

Everyone has a spare ten pounds per week, don’t they? Well, let’s get with Warner’s plan, and pay it, along with our Council tax, to keep the NHS going. Clearly there is no bureaucracy in the NHS, no extraneous middle managers, no ridiculous bean-counting exercises, supply chain mismanagement, fraud, waste or pre-privatisation manoeuvring that could be got rid of.

No, it’s up to you and me to start paying our way for the NHS. Some of you may have been of the naïve opinion your taxes went to the NHS, but that seems to have eluded Warner and his co-author Jack O’Sullivan when they proposed a fair, flat tenner per week tax.

Here’s what my Lord Warner said:

“Many politicians and clinicians are scared to tell people that our much-beloved 65-year-old NHS no longer meets the country’s needs… Frankly, it is often poor value for money. The NHS now represents the greatest public spending challenge after the general election. MPs taking to the streets to preserve clinically unsustainable hospital services only damage their constituents.”

Warner, in a report he has co-authored for the think-tank Reform, says dramatic action is needed as the NHS faces an expected £30bn-a-year gap by 2020 between the demand for healthcare and its ability to respond, and needs several new funding streams to remain viable.

I’m sure we’ll all be queuing up to help the government monitor our bodies

Revenue could also come from higher, hypothecated “sin” taxes on alcohol, tobacco and gambling, and taxes on sugary foods because of rising obesity. Inheritance tax needs to be collected from more than the current 3.5% of the 500,000 people who die each year, and visitors staying overnight in hospital should pay “hotel charges”.

A £10 monthly fee would be used to fund local initiatives to improve prevention of ill-health and an annual “health MoT” for everyone of working age, say Warner and co-author Jack O’Sullivan, an expert in new thinking in health and social care.

I’m sure we’ll all be queuing up to help the government monitor our bodies – and then get even more money for its new wheeze of selling our health data to private companies. We’ll be in great shape soon! Result!

And it gets even better: Warner wants alcohol and cigarette ‘sin taxes’ for those in the herd who won’t be squeaky clean (but surely government officials will be immune). Sin taxes on the way soon? I’ve enough trouble with my syntax as it is. Let’s just get down to privatising the whole system, and setting up weekly blood and urine tests for the poor to boot.

Alas, reading the 191 page report when I should be painting is giving Old Susannah high blood pressure, and I’m not getting any younger. More later, particularly on the interesting Mr Sullivan and Lord Warner. I wonder if either of them have any reason to want privatisation? Surely not.

Nicky Tesco is interested in this stinktank, and so am I.

Next week: More definitions, if I pass the State’s health tests, and more on the police and related arresting new developments.

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Valerie Watts: So Long, And Thanks For … Errr … ?

Aberdeen City, Featured, Opinion 5 Responses »

Mar 312014

Valerie Watts served as Aberdeen City Chief Executive on a six figure salary from March 2011 until mid-March 2014. She scrapped her job as Derry Chief Executive and came to Aberdeen to give us the benefit of her experience. What benefits exactly have we reaped from the experience of Valerie’s tenure? ‘Watt’ should not be forgot? By Suzanne Kelly.

Backdrop

Valerie Watts’ stewardship as Aberdeen’s Chief Executive of Aberdeen City Council could and should have been a huge triumph by default.

Thousands marched against cuts imposed by the LibDem/SNP alliance in 2008.

The reigning LibDem/SNP coalition not only imposed cuts – they then turned around with some serious audacity to march along with thousands of those whose services they had cut.

Service slasher and budget protest marcher Kate Dean said at the time:

“I will be marching under the banner calling for a fair deal for Aberdeen. I can understand why people need to protest against these cuts but we also need to protest against the reason why we have had to make the cuts which in my opinion is mostly to do with the distribution formula.

“If we had the same funding as Glasgow we would have something like £60m a year more. We have the lowest funding settlement per head of population of any council in Scotland.”
http://www.heraldscotland.com/councillors-to-join-protest-over-service-cuts-1.845949 (Note – when Labour today use this argument in the council, they are derided. It is almost as if politics overrode logic).

LibDem Kate Dean imposed cuts while the city lost millions and gave land away for a song. Then Dean marched alongside people protesting her cuts. LibDem Aileen Malone, an elected councillor, later participated in a protest against the council she was part of (over the failure to build a structure in Union Terrace Gardens). Perhaps this form of protesting against yourself is a LibDem thing.

Some £11 million was written off under Dean as bad debt in one year; a property sale scandal came under her as well. Choices Day Care Centre was controversially closed. Could the then administration have found £60 million to benefit people in need? Not if it also wanted a shiny new office building.

Guess which need won the day. Sue Bruce apparently had enough of the Chief Executive post and scarpered.

Prologue

Watt’s immediate predecessor Sue Bruce moved to Edinburgh by January 2011; Bruce also received a six figure salary. Before her we had the spectacle of Chief Executive Douglas Paterson retiring due to ill heath in June 2008, (coincidentally concurrent with the Audit Scotland investigation into the property sales) days after announcing that he would not resign.

For further background on the property sales including how Stewart Milne was virtually handed land in Kingswells, see past issues of Aberdeen Voice.

Kate Dean and SNP coalition councillor Kevin Stewart tried to sweeten Paterson’s leaving package for reasons only they would understand, but sadly the pair were unsuccessful, as this extra money proved too unseemly even for Paterson to swallow. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/fury-over-pay-off-for-chief-exec-981139 .

some of her less shiny milestones from three years in Aberdeen should be remembered

In the end, Audit Scotland couldn’t decide if the city was amazingly inefficient or criminally negligent.

Aberdeen Voice tried to find the report Audit Scotland directed Grampian Police to produce on the matter.

However, Police Scotland has said they cannot find any record of a report on a multimillion pound real estate debacle they were directed to create by Audit Scotland. It would be difficult to find such a document as you can imagine.

In short, it was a sorry catalogue of scandals that swept through the city’s previous administrations (best not mention a curly-haired councillor disgraced for financial misappropriation or another councillor done for ‘kerb crawling’ while being appointed to work with youths).

Surely the woman who brought Derry its City of Culture status would turn our fortunes around, stop any corruption, and make accountability to the taxpayer a priority, and ensure our vulnerable citizens, our environment and our wildlife would be protected. The only way was up. So we thought.

While some newspapers are busy lauding her accomplishments, whatever they may be, perhaps some of her less shiny milestones from three years in Aberdeen should be remembered too.

She was not amused: Early days at Marischal College

It was not an auspicious start. She was not long into the job when the glorious refurbishment (read gutting and disposal of many architectural and historic items) of Marischal College was announced and an opening scheduled.

The taxpayers were supposed to be forelock-tuggingly appreciative as to how the project apparently came in under budget and on time – a first for Aberdeen by any reckoning. A mere £60 million pounds or so was spent refitting the interior of the Victorian building, designed in such a way that new, smaller office furniture had to be bought to fit the space. All the while, school closures were considered and further cutbacks appeared.

Valuable Victorian books were thrown in a skip (and their rescuer was threatened for saving them by a construction worker).

Amid much fanfare over the £60 million spend when it could have been £80 million, the ceilings leaked dubious substances onto the council offices from a men’s loo.

This £60 million gutting of an architectural gem might not have seemed a bargain to those harmed by swingeing cuts. Since the city doesn’t actually own the building, was this re-fit really a great bargain and the only solution to office space?

The council owns hundreds of office properties for one thing, and surely before embarking on such a project, carefully researched options and costs would be studied. Value for money?

An Aberdeen Voice request to see the costing of alternatives to the Marischal College refit was rebuffed; it was claimed the financials were actually the ‘intellectual property’ of the accountants, not the taxpayers whose money was under discussion and who ultimately had to foot the bill. And Ms Watts had just taken the reins of power. According to STV, she said:

“The City Council has brought to fruition a remarkable project which has created a stunning new public building for all the people of Aberdeen. It will be admired far and wide by citizens and visitors alike and will become the iconic (iconic is a hard word to avoid in Aberdeen) image for this proud city.”
http://news.stv.tv/north/19847-marischal-college-opens-its-doors-to-customers-for-first-time/

For those who opposed the previous budget cuts and saw their effect of people in need, ‘pride’ was hardly the appropriate word for this £60 million pound office building which gutted a gem. So the principle of pride and edifice before people was established in the opening speech.

Alas, nothing could stop the opening of the grandiose ACC offices at Marischal.

Unfortunately, someone leaked the date to the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens and other grass-roots groups, whose members peacefully showed up with placards at the launch of the new Marischal College, protesting the plans to turn the only city centre gardens which happened to be common good land into a development opportunity.

On the day the opening took place, these peaceful protestors arrived with placards. Some politicians chatted to the group; some VIPs seemed bemused. One woman on the scene positively seethed with rage according to several accounts.

As a protestor put it – Valerie Watts (for it was she) might have been fairly new in the job, but it was clear she was ‘fizzing with anger’. Watts had apparently been both on holiday and spray painted an orange/brown tan shade for the event, earning her the nickname in some quarters ‘fake bake.’

Responsibility:

Newly-ensconced Watts said:

“This is an exciting time in the life of Aberdeen. We are facing the tightest squeeze on public spending that almost any of us can remember but this gives us the chance to use our imaginations and rise to the challenges.

“It is my role as Chief Executive to take responsibility for leading on the priorities which elected members and the people of Aberdeen have set for this organisation – and I am bringing together all the strengths of this great city to make sure it continues to thrive.”

No one knew what she meant by ‘continues to thrive,’ but at any rate, Valerie was set to turn things around.

Deer Oh Deer:

Coinciding with Watt’s tenure, the LibDems and in particular their leader, Aileen Malone, were determined to plant ‘A Tree For Every Citizen’. This noble-sounding scheme somehow didn’t seem so noble when it was eventually revealed in Aberdeen Voice that the herd of deer on Tullos Hill, had been set for the cull before the consultation was published.

Deer had existed on Tullos without any cull for 30 years – all for trees which probably would not grow due to soil condition and decades of dumping (including industrial, household waste and some traces of radiation).

somehow her turning seven council departments into three departments wasn’t meant to mean job losses

Aileen Malone, Lib Dem, held all the cards when she was the convener of the Housing & Environment Committee; she issued the unprecedented ultimatum that the public had to come up with £250,000 in a short space of time, or the deer would be killed as the most ‘economic’ way to turn Tullos Hill into a forest.

Watts didn’t bat an eyelash and animal charities and opposition politicians called this unprecedented blackmail. Those in the know, including the Scottish SPCA derided the scheme and its cruelty; much of which has already been written. But it is to the part Valerie Watt played in the destruction of a herd of deer that should be looked at.

Should anyone want to view source documents and a report, they can be found here along with her letter to me.

A whole raft of information was put to Watts as to why the cull was unnecessary, cruel and flawed.

Animal Concern Advice Line, the Scottish SPCA, local residents, community councils all objected specifically to this particular cull and its circumstances. Watts’ behaviour in denying any possible options or alternatives to killing the animals, and her dismissal of all arguments from the opposition might have reminded those she left behind in Derry of her stance on jobs cuts she proposed as a parting gift.

When she was leaving Derry to grace Aberdeen with her presence, she created a plan to restructure Derry’s council. In a BBC report entitled ‘No Job Losses’ at Derry City Council, Watts ‘denied there will be any job losses under restructuring plans’. This then turned out to mean ‘I have worked out that potentially there may not be any job losses, but that depends on the willingness of employees to apply for these new jobs as they are advertised’.

In an article filled with rhetoric, Watts was said to have refused to negotiate over the restructure (as she refused to negotiate over the future of Tullos Hill’s deer), and somehow her turning seven council departments into three departments wasn’t meant to mean job losses, even though people had to apply and be accepted for jobs.

With such a command of logic and mathematics, it is no wonder she had a few lapses in terms of arithmetic with deer-related issues in Aberdeen.

These included losing track of a 3,000-strong petition against the cull and the tree scheme presented to the council’s representative Aileen Malone on national television. She also managed to lose track of anti-Tullos deer cull postcards (thought to be a much higher figure) which were hand delivered to a receptionist at the Town House who said he’d seen ‘tons’ of the postcards.

She used her Watts logic and claimed this had no bearing at all on the question asked

Hundreds of cards were handed out; dozens of people advise they posted their cards in, and over 60 were handed to the receptionist. Watts claimed to have received 35. The Scottish SPCA made a specific objection to the Tullos Cull, calling it ‘abhorrent and absurd’ to kill deer where trees were highly unlikely to flourish.

When given that quote, Watts replied to Aberdeen Voice that there was no evidence the Scottish SPCA opposed deer culls. She had taken a statement made by a senior Scottish SPCA officer directed specifically at the Tullos cull, and managed to come up with a statement which had nothing to do with the fact she was presented with.

This strategy of taking a specific fact and contorting it to either a specific focus or a widely painted assertion seems to be a Watts trademark, whether it is denying facts on deer killing or potential job losses during her Derry job restructuring.

When asked if a previous failed tree planting scheme on Tullos Hill cost Aberdeen’s taxpayers £44,000, Watts colourfully asserted that this was not the case. When pressed, she admitted that £43,800 (which seems to the lay person as being rather close to £44,000) had been repaid to the Forestry Commission for a failed tree planting on Tullos.

She used her Watts logic and claimed this had no bearing at all on the question asked, because the money was paid in March and the question was asked in May. Surprisingly animal welfare campaigners were not impressed.

Aberdeen Voice also uncovered the fact the cull was being planned, but was kept out of the public consultation (which only mentioned putting in rabbit fences rather than slaughtering deer). Watts wrote the consultation was ‘robust’ and that it wasn’t necessary to spell out what was required to have the projected forest.

She never did explain why then it was spelled out that deer fencing was mentioned in the consultation as a method for the plantation if it was not necessary to say what was going to happen to the deer if the trees were approved.

Several community councils, thousands of petition signers disagreed.

Eventually Aberdeen Voice found out the city spent tens of thousands of pounds on consultant Chris Piper, who would be paid if the trees were planted and the deer culled.

case after case of financial misappropriation arose

Watts could have stopped all this and saved money for the city in the bargain with saving deer, but she didn’t do anything except defend the cull, rejecting the wishes of elected community councils.

(It should be noted that at the following election, the LibDems who supported their ‘tree for every citizen’ scheme so staunchly were themselves culled. Kate Dean lost her seat, and a campaigner who tried to save the animals, Andy Finlayson, was elected).

Thirty four or thirty five deer were destroyed – and the fact remains the soil reports say the hill – a former refuse dump with a radioactive history on record – cannot grow trees that won’t eventually topple in strong winds, something Aberdeen has in abundance.

In the City’s Hallowed Halls:

Watts also oversaw a few internal struggles, as case after case of financial misappropriation arose. People apparently stole money from the council just before her time as well as during it. People engaged by the city to look after the elderly and otherwise infirm turned out to be thieving money from their vulnerable clients The council then had a colourful time as it bungled the potential cut of 150 jobs.

There have been other amusing stories as to the city’s mismanagement (well, amusing if you are not the people involved).

Valerie, while head of the operations, was surely not responsible for what was going on under her. That seems to have been outwith the remit of taking responsibility.

As the council meandered from one pointless expensive exercise to another (remember the City Garden Project anyone?), Valerie found time to invest our money in trying to relive her glory days. Back in Derry she had won the (apparently) coveted City of Culture Award, and she was going to go for it here, too.

Forgetting the fact that the city of culture has not seen any increase in tourists jetting into Derry, and that some of that city’s cultural infrastructure for music is facing financial ruin, Watts nevertheless pursued the Culture accolade for Aberdeen. This would have been a huge comfort to, for instance, the Torry-based artist collective Limousine Bull, which went out of existence.

Rita Stephen to come up with the goods and create a bid

They had provided art courses, exhibition space and studio rooms in Torry which were popular in the area. Bull ran out of money, and for want of a relatively small sum of money, died. Still, we managed to find money for the ‘Retail Rocks’ scheme in Torry.

Virtually all of the shops created in Torry (where shop holders were exempt from paying various taxes and got advice for their shops) folded, but there was no money for the Limousine Bull collective. Rather disappointing in a would-be city of culture trying to regenerate its poorer areas.

Selecting culture expert (???) Rita Stephen to come up with the goods and create a bid, Watts allowed a fair few Aberdonian’s tax pounds to be invested in pursuing the bid, in the process inventing the risible ‘gigs on rigs’ scheme.

City officials thought rock stars and the like were willingly going to go and perform on drink free, non-smoking, oil rigs in the rough North Sea so we could watch the concerts via video linkup in Aberdeen bars; of course these concerts could have been beamed to any onshore location. All of this was rolled out poignantly in what was formerly one of the city’s few independent record shops which also showcased bands, One Up records on Belmont Street.

Before leaving the issue of culture, it would seem that the approved arts organisations and people had no problem with funding.

SHMU, which undoubtedly does some good work, receives some £200,000 per year from the city, whereas Limousine Bull couldn’t get a few extra thousand. A city employee involved in the distribution of Creative Scotland arts funding managed to win enough money to create a film. Precisely who evaluated his bid as successful over the artists who failed to win funding will form a future story.

Artists have approached Aberdeen Voice concerned that the City seems to have used their artwork without prior consent or remuneration.

All this was on Ms Watts’ three-year watch. Where did the buck stop exactly?

Resigned:

Why did Valerie go? Could it have been due to her crossing swords with Alex Salmond over his unauthorised visit to the Bramble Brae primary school during a by election? No other political parties were given a chance to pose with children for photo opportunities at the grammar school. The SNP locally are saying, as published in the local Press & Journal, that Watts was finally tired of Labour embarrassing the city.

It is tempting as an idea, but if Watts were the embarrassed type, she waited quite a time to show it. Alas for the SNP, she’s said Labour was not to blame.

There is no word as to whether a leaving card or a collection is being made. Aberdeen Voice will keep you posted on any card signing, and what kind of severance package is being offered. Who will take the job next remains to be seen.

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Old Susannah No. 146 – Watts The Story? End Of An Error?

Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Mar 282014

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

Apologies for the late running of this service; a fortnight ago I got tonsillitis, which I found over-rated. Had to spend a week in bed (without any BrewDog at all – it was awful); I’d been struck down just after another marvellous Moorings music moment with Kirk Brandon and Dave Sharp.

Thankfully I was back on my feet in time for the Aberdeen Jazz festival. I caught both Gerry Jablonski sets, the first being in the Tunnels. The Tunnels are surprisingly dark for some reason, and the atmosphere was very intimate – I felt as if I were in a New Orleans nightclub at midnight.

Jablonski was on great form, and an hour later, the band were doing another set on the Green, which for some reason was lighter as well as nicely crowded, considering half the city had driven to Glasgow for the football.

Those who spent the afternoon on the Green had a choice selection of music, but the Jablonski band pretty much stole the day (and best wishes to the drummer, who wasn’t well enough to perform, and many thanks to the excellent stand in, DW).

Later that night the Joe Louis Walker Band was at the Blue Lamp; it was a rare treat to see blues done with such regal authority. I couldn’t figure out why no merchandise was on offer, but I’ll soon remedy that with a trip to itunes. Finally, this past Saturday I went with Julie to see Deborah Bonham at the Green Hotel in Mundell Music’s magical Backstage Bar. Another intimate show, and a rare evening. More on that elsewhere.

I also took in the Great Tapestry of Scotland currently on show at the Art Gallery; it is a phenomenal labour of love, and there are opportunities to add your own stitches to one of the panels. This massive series of beautifully stitched tapestries commemorates the good, the bad and the ugly moments in Scottish history; a section dedicated to those accused of witchcraft and executed really does show Scotland warts and all.

Then there was Sunday’s victory parade; congratulations to AFC on its well-deserved victory (as opposed to Arsenal’s wholly undeserved dissection at Chelsea’s hands, only made possible by ref. Marriner, who has basically admitted now that he didn’t have a clue what he was doing. Perhaps he’ll be applying for the newly-vacated Chief Executive of Aberdeen post, except for his admission he made a mistake.

Defence spending is still a worry though. We’ve not got much of a nuclear deterrent for one thing

But the real reason I’ve not had a chance to write was that I’ve been very busy with my financial advisors. Since the Tories announced they’ll turn our massive budget deficit into a small surplus in record time, I’m wondering what to do with my new found wealth. We’ll all be a penny better off when buying pints of beer, and can put even more money into tax-free savings.

Since we’ve all been able to save tonnes of money these past years, I thought I better get some financial advice on what to do with this massive cash windfall heading my way. Perhaps we’ve raised so much money between the bedroom tax and ATOS getting lazy ill people to work that the budget deficit will just go away.

They’ve managed to find some money in the treasury:-

£140m extra for flood defence repairs and maintenance

£200m made available to fix potholes

I think it’s a great idea that the Government will start thinking about potential floods; what a disaster flooding would be. I wonder where they got this flood defence idea from? If I can dredge up any facts on this flood defence budget, that will be more dredging than the ConDems ever did. Dredging rivers was deemed too expensive to do by some beancounter somewhere, and funding was cut. Nice to know we saved some money for a few years without any comeback.

As to the £200m for pothole repair, Result!

Only a spoilsport would point out that Which Magazine estimates the cost of fixing Scotland’s roads would be £12.93 billion. Old Susannah is not much of a mathematician, but what if we took some defence funds and fixed up some of our own wee social and infrastructure problems, and then got on with bombing the middle east for democratic reasons with the leftover money? Just a thought.

Defence spending is still a worry though. We’ve not got much of a nuclear deterrent for one thing, and unless you can blow up the planet a good few dozen times, no one takes you seriously anymore. The cuts have hit the neediest defence contractors to a serious degree; I’ll see if I can find a way for concerned citizens to donate to the military.

Of course there might not be cash in our armed forces for things like proper gear for people on the front lines in our little police actions around the world, but someone somewhere is making some money. Here are the grim facts:-

“Last month defence secretary Philip Hammond claimed to have balanced the budget for defence equipment over the ten years to 2022, outlining plans to spend almost £160 billion on new vehicles and kit [sad to say, but £160 billion just ain’t what it used to be – Susannah].

“The programme includes £35.8billion for submarines, including a replacement for the Trident nuclear system; £18.5billion on warplanes and drones; and £17.4billion for surface ships, including new aircraft carriers.

“Another £8 billion has been left unallocated to cover the risks of cost overruns. The programme meant that “for the first time in a generation the Armed Forces will have a sustainable equipment plan,” Mr Hammond said.” [hard to believe there could be cost overruns in the military – OS]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/Trident-spending-to-accounts for third-of-defence-budget

Again, I’m no mathematician (so I may apply for a job in government’s budget office), but £35.8 billion would buy quite a few Granite Webs at £140 million each. It might even be enough to keep Valerie Watts looking suitably sun kissed for a year. And with that, it’s time for a few definitions, and a fitting send off for Watts-going-on.

Grit and Dynamism: (English Phrase used to describe the departing Watts) 1. Grit – sandy, irritating substance. 2. Dynamism – .

Alas, farewell, cheerio, bye-bye Valerie Watts. Was it our failure to win you a second City of Culture nomination that drove you from the Granite City? Was it hard to keep your natural tan going in our climate? Alas, we may never know.

The SNP are for some reason blaming their political opponents. Kevin Stewart said:-

“Mrs Watts came to Aberdeen with vision, dynamism and real grit and her resignation is a great loss to our city. I am sure that Mrs Watts will give her reasons for leaving, but I am sure that the dysfunctional behaviour of the Labour-led administration has played a part in her decision to go. ”

I’m sure it’s nothing to do with her handling of local issues from killing our deer on Tullos Hill or objecting to SNP’s Salmond showing up at Bramble Brae primary school during a by election. He was only there of course because of Piper Alpha, and nothing to do with publicity – at least I think the press release said something like that. Why is she leaving? So far she’s not saying.

A touching SNP letter appears in the 27/3 Press & Journal. The tears are streaming down my face as I read it:

“Valerie Watts came to Aberdeen City Council with a formidable record and she leaves with the utmost respect of colleagues and citizens alike. I will miss the competence and drive of Mrs Watts at the helm of the council. She has left some very big shoes to fill.” – Christian Allard, SNP MSP for North East Scotland

She may be leaving big shoes behind. Somewhere, perhaps in a cupboard she’s left behind a 3,000 strong petition begging the city not to kill the deer; she certainly didn’t bother to refer to it when writing a letter of 8 July 2011 about objections to the scheme.

“The objections that have been received by Aberdeen City Council regarding this project since January 2011 to 28 June 2011 total 244 letter or emails from 197 individuals/organisations. This includes letters/emails form 3 Community Councils (Cove & Altens, Kincorth & Leggart, and Bridge of Don”

You might have thought handing in a petition to Aileen ‘HoMalone’ on national television would have counted as objections, but not if you’re Watts. http://news.stv.tv/north/17223-campaigners-hand-over-petition-opposing-deer-cull-to-council/

More on the lady in a separate article. I hope she doesn’t let the revolving doors of Marischal hit her on the way out.

Scottish Public Services Ombudsman: (Proper Eng. noun) Scottish government entity charged with overseeing complaints against Scottish local authorities and other duties.

You will be happy to know that, Aberdeen city still excels in some areas. In a 3 September 2013 letter to outgoing Valerie Watts, the SPSO ranks Aberdeen City Council the worst in Scotland for the number of complaints received in 2012/13 about its housing services, second in Scotland about how its planning services function, and third in Scotland for Social work complaints.

We also come 5th in Scotland for Educational complaints and 7th for Environmental complaints. Considering that George Copeland has for instance waited over 8 months to get a working front door fitted to his flat after the police broke it in while looking for a non-existent gunman, I can’t see why anyone’s unhappy with Aberdeen’s Housing bods.

As to the Environment, where else in the country will you find streets like ours for cleanliness, or more concern shown for the welfare of wildlife and the environment. You will be pleased that Aberdeen had the same ranking for complaints for housing, planning and social work in 2011/12.

Yes, we can be proud of excelling at something.

But that’s enough definitions on the sad occasion of Watts returning to Derry. From what I’ve read, she’ll be helping to increase passenger numbers at the airport, which has not noticed any increase in passengers from its gaining the City of Culture title. You could almost think this ‘Culture’ accolade was a hollow, expensive vanity award with little saving benefits. But surely not.

Next week: more definitions.

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Human Rights In Libya Since Qaddafi

Community, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Mar 282014

In 2011, Jonathan Russell wrote three articles on the Libyan conflict in Aberdeen Voice, in part because of the lack of public outcry. Here he presents the second part of a new four article series.

As in the whole of the Middle East human rights abuses were of considerable concern under the Jamahiriya Government. The Amnesty International Report in 2010 in its introduction makes the following point:

“Freedom of expression, association and assembly continued to be severely curtailed and the authorities showed little tolerance of dissent. Critics of the government’s human rights record were punished. Former detainees at Guantánamo Bay returned to Libya by US authorities continued to be detained; one died in custody, apparently as a result of suicide.

“Foreign nationals suspected of being in the country irregularly, including refugees and asylum-seekers, were detained and ill-treated. An official investigation began into the killing of prisoners at Abu Salim Prison in 1996 but no details were disclosed and some of the victims’ relatives who had campaigned for the truth were arrested.

“Hundreds of cases of enforced disappearance and other serious human rights violations committed in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s remained unresolved, and the Internal Security Agency (ISA), implicated in those violations, continued to operate with impunity.”

What Amnesty fails to report however, is that health services and education were available to a high standard to everyone, food and electricity was heavily subsidised, all the population had been housed and the position of women in society was better than anywhere else in the Middle East or Africa, and in many ways better than many Western countries. The situation in Libya was also far from straightforward.

Numbers of men, particularly from Benghazi, had gone to Afghanistan to the Al-Qaeda training camps then returned to Libya and started a bombing campaign. The largest grouping of Al-Qaeda prior to the conflict fighting in Iraq came from Benghazi.

According to West Point authors Joseph Felter and Brian Fishman,

“Saudi Arabia took first place as regards absolute numbers of jihadists sent to combat the United States and other coalition members in Iraq during the time frame in question. Libya, a country less than one fourth as populous, took second place. Saudi Arabia sent 41% of the fighters.”

According to Felter and Fishman,

“Libya was the next most common country of origin, with 18.8% (112) of the fighters listing their nationality stating they hailed from Libya.”

Other much larger countries were far behind:

“Syria, Yemen, and Algeria were the next most common origin countries with 8.2% (49), 8.1% (48), and 7.2% (43), respectively. Moroccans accounted for 6.1% (36) of the records and Jordanians 1.9% (11).”

This means that almost one fifth of the foreign fighters entering Iraq across the Syrian border came from Libya, a country of just over 6 million people. A higher proportion of Libyans were interested in fighting in Iraq than any other country contributing mujahedin. Felter and Fishman point out:

“Almost 19 percent of the fighters in the Sinjar Records came from Libya alone. Furthermore, Libya contributed far more fighters per capita than any other nationality in the Sinjar Records, including Saudi Arabia.”

“But since the Al Qaeda personnel files contain the residence or hometown of the foreign fighters in question, we can determine that the desire to travel to Iraq to kill Americans was not evenly distributed across Libya, but was highly concentrated precisely in those areas around Benghazi.” ( See chart below from the West Point report, page 9 )

Unsurprisingly, Qaddafi and his government saw them as a threat to the stability of Libya. Apart from the sanctions, this was a major reason why Qaddafi came to the agreement with the West which was facilitated by Tony Blair.

None of this excuses the human rights abuses, but does put them in a wider context.

What can be said is that for the majority of people in Libya, life was good; however, if you went against the regime, watch out.

Though human rights violations in Libya under Qaddafi were bad, what followed in the wake of the so called ‘revolution’ far outstripped the human rights abuses of his time.

Armed militias continue to commit serious human rights abuses with impunity, including arbitrary arrests and detention, torture and unlawful killings. Thousands of people suspected of formerly supporting or fighting for Qaddafi’s government remained detained without charge or trial and with no means of remedy. The most famous of these is Salif Al-Islam, Qaddafi’ second son, who is still being held by one of the militias in Zinan.

Tens of thousands of people who were forced to leave their homes in areas perceived to have supported Qaddafi in 2011 remain internally displaced and continue to be at risk of revenge attacks and other abuses. Undocumented foreign nationals faced arbitrary arrest, indefinite detention, exploitation and torture or other ill-treatment.

Human Rights Watch recently posited the possible reasons for Libya’s current lawlessness. In a dispatch posted on 20^th October 2013, Human Rights Watch described mass executions carried out by Libyan rebel groups on the day of Qaddafi’s death. In the days that followed, HRW gathered hard evidence of the executions and of who was responsible, which it presented to transitional authorities shortly afterward; to date, no investigation has been carried out.

“The failure to investigate systematic executions helped set the stage for the militia lawlessness in Libya today,” wrote Fred Abrahams, special advisor to HRW’s program office.

“Impunity for those and subsequent crimes sent the message that Libya’s armed groups stand above the law.”

Law 38 granted amnesty to those who committed crimes if their actions were aimed at “promoting or protecting the revolution” against Qaddafi.

On the 23rd October 2013 Hassiba Hadj Sahraoui, Amnesty International’s Middle East and North Africa Deputy Director, stated that:

“two years after the conflict, Tawarghas and other displaced communities are still waiting for justice and effective reparations for the abuses they have suffered. Many continue to face discrimination and live in under-resourced camps with no solution in sight.”

Human rights Watch in their 2013 report have said:

“As of October, roughly 8,000 people were in detention. The majority of them were held for more than a year without charge or due process rights, including judicial review and access to a lawyer. The Ministry of Justice holds around 3,000 detainees, around 2,000 are held by the Ministry of Defence or Supreme Security Committee. The rest were being held illegally by various armed groups.’’

Given that most of the country is being run by militias the figures are likely to be in reality much higher.

Conditions in militia-run facilities varied, with detainees in some facilities reporting repeated torture and deaths in custody. Conditions in state-run facilities appeared to improve, although there continued to be cases of abuse and some deaths in custody.

Following rising violence the Interior Minister Mohamed Khalifa al Sheikh resigned in August last year

Non-Libyans from sub-Saharan Africa, mainly migrant workers, are particularly vulnerable to abuse, facing harassment, arrests, ill-treatment in detention, forced labour and no regulated access to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR).

Sporadic armed confrontations between militias across the country have caused hundreds of deaths; the victims included children and other civilians not involved in the fighting. Impunity remained entrenched, both for gross human rights violations committed in the past and for ongoing human rights abuses by armed militias.

Amnesty UK Hassiba Hadj Sahraoui, Libya Researcher, reported the following:

“The authorities have failed to break the stranglehold of the militias. Hundreds of armed militias that fought against Mu’ammar al-Gaddafi’s repressive regime now pose the greatest threat to human rights in Libya.

“In 2012, our researchers visited the country and found evidence of a catalogue of abuses, including arbitrary arrests and detention, torture, unlawful killings and forcible displacement. All are casting a shadow over post-revolution Libya.

“Torture is rife in Libya. It is carried out not just by military and security entities but also armed militia groups operating outside of legal frameworks.

“When our researchers visited 11 detention facilities in central and western Libya used by various militias, there was only one facility in which detainees did not report torture and ill treatment. In ten, detainees showed us injuries resulting from recent abuse.

“At least eleven people detained by militias have been tortured to death.

“So far, not one person has been brought to justice for these human rights violations. There have been no effective investigations into cases of torture and deaths in custody.”

Following rising violence the Interior Minister Mohamed Khalifa al Sheikh resigned in August last year. Some 500 prisoners in Tripoli jail undertook a hunger strike to protest being held for two years without charges. When the government ordered the Supreme Security Committee to restore order, they began shooting prisoners through the bars. Where was the outcry from the West? In July 1200 prisoners escaped a jail after a riot in Benghazi. In short, lawlessness and anarchy is spreading

The position of women

Whilst Islamic law established almost equal rights for women in relation to divorce for the past 1,400 years, under the Gaddafi’s Jamahiriya Government the rights of women became greatly enhanced. Women were granted equal rights to men with many younger women in the cities wearing western clothes and thirty percent were in employment, which compared well with many other Middle Eastern countries.

Women were also increasingly seen driving, shopping and travelling without husbands or male companions, a practice which is forbidden in some countries in the Middle East. Child brides were banned and the minimum legal age to marry placed at 18. Women became lawyers, judges, aircraft pilots, army commanders and Ministers in the Government. It has been suggested that women had a stronger position in Libya than in any country in the world. By all accounts, the rights of women have taken a severe setback since the destruction of Jamahiriya, particularly in areas held by Al Qaeda.

Religion

According to the Human Rights Watch 2013 report, attacks against religious minorities started in October 2011, and intensified in 2012. Armed groups motivated by their religious views attacked Sufi religious sites across the country, destroying several mosques and tombs of Sufi religious leaders. Armed groups attacked churches in at least two incidents in Tripoli in May and September. The government’s security forces have failed to stop the attacks and have made no significant arrests.

Ethnic displacement

Amnesty International has said that a total around 65,000 people are internally displaced across Libya, not just Tawarghas, but members of the Mashashya tribe from the Nafusa Mountains, residents of Sirte and Bani, Walid, and Tuaregs from Ghadames too.

The Tawarghas, ethnic black Libyans, are among those who have suffered the most. More than 1,300 Tawarghas are estimated to be missing, detained or were subjected to enforced disappearances, mainly in Misratah. Most were seized by militias and subjected to torture and other ill-treatment, such as electric shocks, whipping and beatings with metal bars or water pipes in detention.

Amnesty International has asked the Libyan authorities to investigate all cases of enforced disappearance and indiscriminate torture, including of victims perceived as pro-al Qaddafi.

The European Union (EU), last year’s Nobel Peace Prize recipient, and its member states have been assisting the Libyan authorities in tightening border security and developing “an integrated border management strategy” in order to curb “illegal migration” to Europe at the expense of human rights. Amnesty International has repeatedly urged the EU to fully protect the human rights of refugees, asylum-seekers and migrants, and put in place a satisfactory system for assessing and recognising claims for international protection.

Migrants in Libya are often perceived to be a threat to national security. Since May 2012, the Libyan authorities have deported 25,000 persons.

“EU funding should be used to promote and protect human rights in Libya, especially while the country is still recovering from a recent armed conflict and confronted with a legacy of abuse,” Hassiba Hadj Sahraoui from Amnesty International has said.

“It is deeply troubling that EU funds appear have been used to support detention centres where thousands of foreign nationals are unlawfully held. Asylum-seekers and refugees who are entitled to international protection and should only be detained because of their status in the most exceptional circumstances are among those routinely detained and abused in detention.”

Libya’s immigration detention practices not only violate the country’s international obligations under refugee and human rights law and standards, but they are also at odds with EU human rights obligations as well as EU standards concerning the detention and return of third country nationals.

Libya’s Constitutional Declaration, adopted in 2011, declares that the “state shall guarantee the right of asylum by virtue of the law”. It is urgent the authorities translate this principle into real action and adopt legislation establishing a national asylum system.

Amnesty International has urged the EU, and member states, not to enter into further agreements on migration control with Libya until the government demonstrates that it respects Human Rights.

Thousands of people deemed to have entered Libya “irregularly” have been held in detention for months before their deportation, without access to a lawyer or the ability to challenge their forcible removal and/or detention.

Hassiba Hadj Sahraoui from Amnesty International (AI) has said:

“The Libyan authorities must amend their legislation by setting a maximum detention period pending deportation for migrants.”

AI also found evidence that the Libyan authorities have resumed deporting foreign nationals diagnosed with infections such as hepatitis or HIV after compulsory medical tests were introduced earlier this year. No individual should be deported on the grounds of their medical condition. Hassiba continued:

“Reintroducing compulsory testing for foreign nationals and deportation on the ground of their health status amounts to scapegoating them and only proves how inadequate Libya’s public health policies are.”

At the time of AI’s investigation a total of 5,000 refugees, asylum-seekers and migrants were held in 17 “holding centres” under the Ministry of Interior, in addition to an unknown number of detainees held by militias. AI’s delegates also met a small number of unaccompanied children, sometimes as young as 10, who had been detained in at least three “holding centres” for months.

Many of the “holding centres” visited had extremely poor hygiene standards exposing those held there to the risk of disease, including chest infections and chronic diarrhoea. At the “holding centre” in Sabha, where some 1,300 were being held last May, detainees were held in filthy, overcrowded rooms.

The prison also lacked a functioning sewage system – and piles of garbage filled the corridors. Around 80 detainees – who complained of itchiness on their hands and genitals, suggesting a scabies infection – were held in a courtyard in the sun as treatment, but became dehydrated due to extended exposure to sun.

Denying detainees proper medical care is inexcusable. Libya’s government must show the world it is serious about protecting the rights of all individuals in Libya, whatever their status and nationality.

To date, NATO, which waged the air campaign against Qaddafi’s forces, has failed to investigate properly at least 72 civilian casualties caused by its airstrikes. The UN Commission into Libya also received written reports from the authorities stating that NATO launched about 3,000 airstrikes on several civilian and military targets in Libya. According to the same unverified reports, these strikes resulted in the death of 500 civilians and 2,000 injured.

The same reports stated that NATO had targeted schools, universities, mosques, and others civilian locations. According to the same sources, 56 schools and three universities were directly hit by these strikes. Furthermore, it is claimed that NATO airstrikes have resulted in the closure of 3,204 schools, leaving 437,787 students without access to education.

Security Council members that initially championed resolution 1970 referring Libya to the ICC have been largely silent on Libya’s obligation under that resolution to cooperate with the court.

The Truth About Libya: NATO Crimes & Mass Media Lies Exposed! Reported by Russia Today in 2011.

Though some of the people in Libya have benefited for the majority life has turned into nothing short of a nightmare.

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A Nuclear Free Scotland Is Possible: CND Spring Walk

Community, Information No Responses »

Mar 282014

Scottish CND will be organising a walk from Scottish Parliament to Faslane and a demonstration and rally on Saturday 5th April in Glasgow. With thanks to Jonathan Russell, Chair Aberdeen and District CND

At present all of the UK ‘s Nuclear weapons are based in Scotland at the Faslane Nuclear base on the West coast of Scotland near to Glasgow and surrounding areas with Scotland’s highest density of population.

The Scottish Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament will be organising two major related events which the general public can get involved with to raise awareness of the horrific nature of Nuclear Weapons.

The first is a Spring Walk which will start on Tuesday April 1st at 12.15 pm outside the Scottish Parliament and takes in on its way Currie, Bathgate, Coatbridge, Glasgow, Dumbarton and eventually arriving at the Faslane Nuclear base on Monday 7th April.

One of our local members Alister Coutts ( pictured ) who is going on the walk gave the following reasons for doing so.

“Even though I’ve been involved in environmental activism for around 10 years, I’ve not been a member of Scottish CND for all that long and only went to Faslane for the first time in April 2013, but I’ve been opposed to nuclear weapons, and indeed nuclear power, for as long as I can remember. My first reason for joining the peace walk is therefore to do as much as I can to remind the public that the stunning countryside surrounding Gare Loch has been completely and utterly destroyed by the abhorrent presence of the Trident Nuclear Missile base for 50 years too long.

“The peace walk will also be a great opportunity to highlight the fact that the upcoming Independence Referendum presents the people of Scotland with the chance to start the process of ridding not only Scotland, but the UK as a whole, of these weapons of mass destruction forever. My hope is that this could also have a positive knock on effect and result in other countries around the world being pressurised into destroying the nuclear arsenals as well.

“From a more personal viewpoint, having a daughter: Kate, a son: Robbie and three beautiful grandchildren: Alfie, Molly and Kenzie, my second reason for taking part in the march is to do as much as I can to ensure that their future is bright in a nuclear weapon free, and I would like to hope, an eventually neutral, Scotland.”

Included in the events of the walk but for all the public to get involved in will be a March and Rally on Saturday April 5th starting at 11.30am and ending at 12.30pm with a Rally. Speakers at the rally will include Nicola Sturgeon MSP Deputy First Minister, Patrick Harvey MSP. Lord Provost Sadie Docherty, Lesley Riddoch, Dave Moxham (STUC) and Rev Sally Foster-Fulton. Music will be provided by the Gleeboom drummers.

Local MSP Christian Allard has put out the following statement:

“There is clear opposition to nuclear weapons being based in Scotland. Yet the Westminster Government, in this latest budget, have missed their last chance to commit to getting rid weapons of mass destruction before the referendum. An SNP Government in an independent Scotland would be committed to removing Trident from Scottish waters for good.’’

“In the meantime I would urge anyone who is concerned about the presence of nuclear weapons in Scotland to make sure their voice is heard at this series of events in April.”

Jonathan Russell Chair of Aberdeen and District Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament added:

“the Independence referendum gives the opportunity for Scotland to get rid of its Nuclear Weapons. He also challenged the Labour Party to end its present stance on replacing Trident.’ Nuclear weapons have the potential to kill us all and are a scourge on humanity. We need to see concerted efforts internationally to get rid of these weapons and here in Scotland we should be setting an example.”

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What’s Satire Ever Done For Us? The Spitting Image Exhibition

Articles, Featured, Opinion 1 Response »

Mar 142014

For 12 years the establishment and celebrities were grist to the Spitting Image mill; nothing and no one was sacred. If you weren’t laughing, you were outraged. By Suzanne Kelly.

Issues of the day were brought to light, political sleaze was explained and mocked in spectacular fashion, and well, those of us with a sense of humour had a great laugh.
A new exhibition in London’s Cartoon Museum pulls together puppets, memorabilia, news reports and anecdotes. It is a small exhibition in a small museum.

However, while floor space may be limited, the depth and breadth of the collection and the Spitting Image exhibition is deeply impressive.

This is also one of the most important shows you’ll have the chance to see, if press freedoms (facing new threats) and political satire are to be understood, preserved and appreciated.

The Cartoon Museum has been flying the flag for the cartoon as art and entertainment since 2006, and features a great diversity of art going back centuries. There are simple cartoons such as ‘Popeye’ which were simply intended to amuse. There are biting political cartoons from the distant past, and social commentary cartoons spanning decades which, when collected and curated, form an extremely important historic record.

But this Spitting Image exhibition must be the most impressive and engaging of all the museum’s major exhibitions to date.

There is an impressive schedule of evening talks and events featuring those who worked on Spitting Image. Roger Law (a founder of SI with Peter Fluck – listen to them on Desert Island Discs here http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p009mlw9 ) will deliver an illustrated talk on 19 March on ‘The Art of Theft’.

There is a Spitting Image Roundtable on 7th May with people behind the show, and a ‘Design your own puppet character’ session with puppet maker and puppeteer Scott Brooker.

“At 10pm on Sunday, 26 February 1984 British television witnessed the birth of a new phenomenon – a satirical puppet show which would push the boundaries of taste and decency, present the Royal Family, politicians and celebrities alike in surreal yet telling situations, and become one of the most talked-about programmes of the 1980s and 1990s. The country had never seen anything like it.” – CartoonMuseum

We may never see the like of Spitting Image again; it was the reactionary product of a heady mixture of Thatcherism, international issues, domestic political power struggles, the Reagan/Thatcher special relationship, and later on celebrities and sports. Apparently Peter Cook once remarked that the sports vignettes were his favourites.

Perhaps they were, but Spitting Image’s satire wasn’t so much biting as it was scorching. Many times it pushed the envelope just a bit further than people expected; many viewers for instance finding the Queen Mother puppet a bridge too far.

Margaret Thatcher in S&M gear likewise provoked a response.

Memorable puppets included a completely grey John Major, a schoolboy Tony Blair sporting an ‘I’m the Leader’ badge, The Queen, and a slobbering Roy Hatterslea will be in the public conscious for quite some time.

In the display was a never-used Osama Bin Laden puppet – it oozes menace.

Imagining what could have been made of this in a sketch is a powerful idea to grapple with; the puppet sits in its case waiting for an opportunity which never materialised.

The exhibition screens Spitting Image episodes, and on the day I visited, many people stopped to watch the segment depicting how Zola Budd came to be English rather than South African, and while doing nothing more spectacular in her Olympic race than tripping up American Mary Decker, Budd nevertheless managed to make a bit of money from her exploits.

Spitting Image was a platform of perfect political satire and the springboard for many of our most important talents – Ian Hislop, Nick Newman, Harry Enfield, Rory Bremner, Hugh Dennis, Kate Robbins and John O’Farrell are some of those who were involved.

The show evolved from the partnership of artists Roger Law and Peter Fluck who met in Cambridge as students. Cambridge and its Granta magazine must have been quite a crucible. Peter Cook and Dudley Moore sprang from that Cambridge seam, and were responsible for an increase in political satire in the 1960s.

Cook’s ‘Establishment’ nightclub in Soho must have been incredible; Roger Law was also involved in that venture as an artist. Cook of course lent his support in many ways to Private Eye magazine, still the zenith of political satire in the UK today.

The exhibition was well attended when I was there; people of different ages and several tourists wound their way through the gallery. Watching the episodes being screened on a wall brought back the importance of the show; we visitors watched in silence except when laughter broke out which it frequently did.

The puppets are quite something to see; the fact they were collected together at all is something of an event. Many were auctioned off and the collection dispersed; one puppet disappeared only to surface years later at a boot sale – from where it was rescued.

The ephemera and historical notes gave insights from many different perspectives; it was safe to say the visitors read the information presented with relish. There are many anecdotes which I won’t spoil by sharing – do go visit the museum if you can.

It’s a gem of a show, and I only wish it could tour the country (with a stop in Aberdeen of course). Actually, I wish that we could have a new version of Spitting Image for today. However, there are many reasons whatever the next big thing in popular political sarcasm is, it won’t be Spitting Image. Gallery Director Anita O’Brien had a few minutes to speak; she explained:-

“Satire is one of the great art forms which Britain invented, which continues to thrive. The difficulty with Spitting Image now, though people would like to bring it back and feel it would be wonderful is that the political climate and landscape have changed, and people are not as politically involved. I think when it comes to people the nature of their political involvement has changed. The media has changed; you had four channels then; it is far more fragmented now.

“I think people do different things – there is an emphasis on CGI, and people’s expectations of media has changed – people expect a different look and feel (to the latex puppets of SI). I also have to say cost – I just don’t think the media would be able to bear it – it would be very labour intensive, and a huge number of people would have to come together.

“I think that might be the biggest stumbling block. Also they were all very involved and quite committed to what they were doing. They perhaps hoped they would bring down the government; it didn’t happen [we laugh]. This was the ‘80s; there was a very strong political engagement; very anti-Thatcherite.”

I suggest the fact that the programme existed had an impact on political engagement, and suggest that Spitting Image was the reason people even knew who cabinet ministers were. O’Brien commented:-

“I think a lot of people who maybe might not have read political columns at the time would have watched the programme… Peter Cook said he actually enjoyed the sports more than the politics; if he wanted politics he would have read a newspaper. We’re hoping that people will come who might not have seen it and can come and become more aware of it, and gain a view into satire.”

But what’s the point of political satire? Is it nothing more than childish, vulgar base humour with no hope of achieving anything?

Here’s an example then:-

“In the mid-1980s Gary Trudeau, writer and illustrator of the comic Doonesbury used satire to help put an end to a racially motivated law in Palm Beach, Florida. The law in question mandated that all workers or employees, including gardeners, retail clerks, janitors and taxi drivers, who were part of a racial minority were required to register with police and obtain and ID card within 48 hours of accepting a job.

“In 1985, upon discovering the continued existence of this Jim Crow legislation, Gary Trudeau illustrated a series of comics lambasting Florida’s government for its continued support of a racist law. By 1986, local politicians drew up the “Doonesbury Act” and repealed the outdated law.” – http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/satire.html

Sarcasm and political satire are sometimes the only weapons people have against powerful institutions and powerful people. We now have threats to our free press coming in light of the News of the World hacking scandal, wherein a sledgehammer is being used to crack all the nuts, good ones and bad ones, for the actions of a few corrupt, powerful people in the press, who were buying information from the police.

Compared to the laissez-faire approach and support the government gave to the banking sector in light of the vast scale of corruption it was and is riddled with, does the recent attacks on press freedoms really warrant any new law? Should those who are meant to be scrutinized by a free press have the right in a democracy – whatever that is – to limit the important checks and balances the press provides?

Let’s hope not. It is bad enough that the press is under fire as a whole institution for the actions of a few. Let’s make sure that political satire remains a protected, powerful and widely-used tool of dissent and change.

And with that, I buy a few posters. As I’m leaving, I’m thinking about Private Eye, Hislop, Ingrams, Granta, and ultimately Peter Cook.

Before I leave, I ask when we’ll see the like of Peter Cook again; ‘Indeed’ is O’ Brien’s answer.

Spitting Image – From Start to Finish runs until 8 June 2014

Cartoon Museum,
35 Little Russell Street,
London,
WC1A 2HH,
Tel: 0207 580 8155
www.cartoonmuseum.org

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Old Susannah No. 143 – We’re All Going To Hell Special

Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour 23 Responses »

Feb 072014

Old Susannah aka Suzanne Kelly brings you the latest ungodly news from Aberdeen and the wider world.

Dictionary

Armageddon outta here! It’s the end of the world as we know it. I will tell you about the nice places and people I’ve see next week (from a brilliant new Jo Malone perfume to Brewdog’s newest creations, and CASC) – if the world hasn’t ended by then – but for now, it’s all panic, gloom and doom, you’ll be pleased to know.

People are marrying people who are the same sex; people are falling in love with people – of the same gender. This is an aberration. Speaking of aberrations, UKIP have some thoughts on these dark days as well (more on that later).

It’s rained for 40 days and nights (or so it feels). There are people not resting on the Sabbath. We don’t have a granite web.

Not since the days of worshipping a golden calf and Sodom and Gomorrah has God been so unamused with us. There are signs of this displeasure everywhere.

Best get your affairs in order, buy a few cases of BrewDog, c-rations and long life milk, and get ready to hide in the fallout shelter. Here are some reasons why.

Divine retribution: (Eng. compound noun) An instance of God or Gods carrying out a vengeful act.

As previously mentioned and painfully obvious, it’s raining constantly; some will tell you it’s global warming. However, former Tory UKIP defector David Silvester from Henley-on-Thames knows the truth. It’s God’s punishment on us all for allowing gay marriage.

Sometimes politicians accidentally say the wrong thing, almost like they were mere mortals themselves. Such slip ups are probably how this whole same-sex (do pardon my use of the word ‘S E X’ ) business started. But Silvester’s not made a mistake, In fact, rather than qualifying his remarks, he’s bravely backing them up to us heathens and pagans.

He’s defending his stance that God is throwing thunderbolts and lashing us with lashings of rain.

His rational explanation is:

“The scriptures make it abundantly clear that a Christian nation that abandons its faith and acts contrary to the Gospel (and in naked breach of a coronation oath) will be beset by natural disasters such as storms, disease, pestilence and war.”

“I wrote to David Cameron in April 2012 to warn him that disasters would accompany the passage of his same-sex marriage bill.

“But he went ahead despite a 600,000-signature petition by concerned Christians and more than half of his own parliamentary party saying that he should not do so.”
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-25793358

The scriptures also make it abundantly clear that Lot’s wife got turned into a pillar of salt and that the world was created in 7 days. Best to take all of its contents as equally factual I suppose.

just don’t engage in any non hetro stuff. It will confuse the locals

It must be kind of nice for Silvester and all the other people who have this hotline to the Almighty, and are convinced they know what God wants. Imagine knowing what God wants. Half the time I can’t decide what flavour of beer to drink next, or what to wear to work. Guess I just don’t have the right kind of faith.

Another man of the times who says ‘down with this sort of thing’ is humanitarian Vladimir Putin. It’s a very good thing there are not really any gay people in Russia, as Putin’s very much against this whole gayness thing, never mind gay unions.

He’s always engaged in such manly events (or photo ops anyway) that Hemingway’s exploits look effeminate. If you’re going to the Olympics, be it to look at the captive orcas doing cute tricks, or to see who is better, stronger, faster than the next guy or girl (steroids optional), just don’t engage in any non hetro stuff. It will confuse the locals, and probably get you Pussy Riot’s old prison cell.

So next time you’re sloshing through a puddle on your way to work, just remember: it’s all the fault of gay people who want to have legal protection for their families as if they were normal heterosexuals. Vote UKIP.

Humanism: (Modern English Noun) Philosophy and movement suggesting that people can live ethical and worthwhile lives without worshipping a god, and that there is beauty in this life.

Of all the dangerous philosophies to have arisen in the history of the world, this is possibly the worst. Humanists aren’t afraid of going to hell. They don’t have to dress in a particular way or do any rituals. They do not conform to any one doctrine. And worse, they even let women perform ‘humanist’ marriage ceremonies.

Worse – we might eventually see a Humanist woman performing a ceremony linking two same sex people. Repent now (or it will rain harder).

These Humanists are even in Scotland, which is quite rightly causing a stir. Worse still, the Church of Scotland has agreed with the Humanists that in schools instead of time for prayer, there should be time for reflection instead.

I’m sure this development has angered you as much as it has me. The Reverend Watson, of a parish in Lanarkshire, has bravely decided to leave his post amidst all this heathenism. He explains in the Scotsman:-

“It would be hypocritical of me to preach the Bible week after week if I’m not prepared to live by its teaching, and as a family we have been amazed at the doors that God has opened for us over the last couple of weeks.” – Scotsman 2 February 2014

Looks like the old chap upstairs with the harp and sandals is giving rain to some of us per the UKIP Silvester, but opening doors for the righteous.

recruitment companies and those who work offshore are being greedy if they switch companies

I’m not sure what we should do about these Humanists with their ideas about living a good life, helping others, and so on – but it’s clearly not compatible with the kind of philosophy that Reverend Watson’s church preaches. I also read that Watson has left the Church of Scotland to ‘join the stricter Free Church of Scotland’ – if I figure out how something that’s ‘Free’ is also strict, I’ll let you know.

Greed: (English Noun) Desire to acquire material goods; avarice.

Greed is certainly bringing the world down; even the Press & Journal have a front page story based on this sin on its front cover this past week.

On Thursday the P&J reported on Sir Ian Wood’s latest findings. Sir Ian thinks that recruitment companies and those who work offshore are being greedy if they switch companies to get higher salaries. The amounts of money paid to those who work off shore are going up, and apparently are ‘unsustainable’.

It’s important to remember that there are two kinds of capitalism: first there is the kind Sir Ian preaches (the good, non-greedy kind), and the kind that he wants employees to follow. When the Wood Group came up with an interesting way of paying people via offshore entities to avoid tax, thought to possibly be £15 million a year lost to the UK government, this was not greed.

This was good business sense, and I’m sure everyone was doing it. Sir Ian’s worth is somewhere around the £1,187m mark. This is because he’s a good businessman who takes advantage of opportunities. Some people think there is a growing gulf between the haves and the have nots, but I can’t find any evidence of this.

He does lots for charity – like keeping some £50 million in his family trust. I’m sure it will be used any day now – if not on a granite web, then on turning Rwanda’s forests into tea-producing land for the benefit of the plantation owners and his venture partner Lord Sainsbury – sorry – for helping Rwanda’s poor, AIDS victims and others.

The other kind of capitalism is the bad kind – it’s when you want to get more money to support you and your family. It’s if you are offered more money for your work by one firm, and don’t turn the offer down.

A cynic might think this article and Sir Ian’s advice to the workers and employment agencies is just a tad rich. Like Sir Ian.

Could the P&J article possibly have an unspoken message from Ian to the agencies to freeze salary hikes, keep margins down, and for us all to stop being greedy have anything to do with increasing profit margins for those one percenters at the top of the energy sector hierarchy? Of course not.

Reactionary: (modern English noun) Someone who has knee-jerk reactions to events and situations.

Oh dear. While Reverend Watson, Vladimir Putin and UKIP ministers tell us what God wants when it comes to gay marriage and Humanists, there are those people who just have to go against God’s messengers. It pains me to tell you, but we have a few godless reactionary people right here in Scotland.

I seem to have a defective copy of the bible in the Old Susannah reference library

BrewDog’s founders James Watt and Martin Dickie (I hope that’s not some kind of gay surname) have created a beer that makes fun of Putin. It is such a disappointment, I may have to rethink my fondness for the company after all. (But not until I finish the case of ‘Hello My Name Is Vladimir’ double IPA I’ve got).

Then we have a woman (who should really have stayed in the kitchen) who is an MSP in the Highlands and Islands, Mary Scanlon. After receiving kindly suggestions not to back gay weddings which she took as threats and intimidations, she decided to support homosexual marriage instead.

She was apparently branded (perhaps literally if there is any justice) ‘GODLESS’ for coming out in favour of allowing gay marriage.

Some people have got in touch with her to spread the word of god. Apparently, she should be burnt at the stake as a witch, but they better hurry with that, because others say God will strike her down. I wonder if he’ll use a thunder bolt or just make it rain harder over her home.

The funny thing is, I seem to have a defective copy of the bible in the Old Susannah reference library. Mine has things about ‘doing unto others as you would have others do unto you’, ‘he who is without sin may cast the first stone’, and ‘love one another’.

Far be it from me to suggest that those who clearly know better and who seem to have God as a ‘Linked In’ friend could be somehow mistaken when it comes to wishing ill on others, or telling us God doesn’t want gay weddings. I’ll have to find out what bible they’re reading, and whether or not it only has the old testament fire and brimstone stuff in it, and where I can get a bible without the modern hippy Jesus love each other business.

Next week: four men of the apocalypse (probably shirtless), fire, brimstone, and of course floods.

PS – for the avoidance of doubt, I remain a BrewDog shareholder (less than 5 shares). My name is Legion, for we are many (well, 10,000 other shareholders anyway)

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Old Susannah No. 141 – Greetings From NYC

Opinion, Satire and Humour 3 Responses »

Jan 242014

Voice’s Old Susannah writes from New York and looks at the ‘Deen from a slightly different perspective. By Suzanne Kelly.

Greetings from New York, which I guess is also a bit of a city of culture like Aberdeen is. A foot of snow fell here yesterday, which has led to strange sights. Trucks spreading salt and grit were immediately deployed to major highways and bridges. Ploughs worked round the clock clearing the major roads, then the smaller ones. Most schools were closed almost immediately after the snow was forecast. Things got stranger though.

City and town governments worked to ensure public pavements were cleared. Police were out warning motorists which streets shouldn’t be used yet, and news broadcasts gave on the spot updates.

Furthermore, recorded messages went out to all residents, telling them not to go out if they didn’t have to, advising of changes in trash collection times and so on. These recorded messages reminded people of both emergency and non-emergency telephone numbers.

Neighbours telephoned each other to see if anyone was in need of help or food. People got out and shovelled snow, ensuring that the walkways were all clear. New York, it’s a helluva town. I fondly remembered the past Aberdeen City administration, which ran out of grit, which it said was very expensive. Good times.

Perhaps a few New York and Aberdeen comparison related definitions are called for, all things considered I think New York City and State could learn much from Aberdeen City and Shire.

Municipal Park: (Eng. compound noun) open ground, forest, beach, and other areas owned, run and managed by the public sector.

Long Island is a long, thin island perpendicular to New York. It may be fairly built up close to Manhattan with Queens being densely populated, but there is still scope for development. It has over 60,000 acres of beach, forest, meadow and woodland people can roam. However, I took a long walk on a beach, and I hardly saw any other people: this means land is being wasted.

There is a famous green space called Sunken Meadow, but I can’t find word of any plans to raise it to street level and build a public square on it.

Even without building a granite web, monolith or glass worms being built, tourists and locals seem to want to spend time playing, walking, exercising and indulging in sports in outdoor locations. Much of this land has been designated ‘protected open space’, which means no one can build on it, even if they have lots of money. I guess Long Island is closed for business and not very forward looking.

Donald Trump bid to do some work at Jones Beach

There is no local development plan created by planners and builders, and taxpayers seem to get a say what will happen.

Of course planning should be left to professional house builders, unelected groups like ACSEF and elected officials who instantly become planning experts after elections, just like we do back in Aberdeen.

Long Island has a private trust which works with the government to protect the green spaces; somehow these people cling to the idea that green spaces are good for tourism, public health, surrounding businesses and air quality.

Donald Trump bid to do some work at Jones Beach; initially an art deco building was going to be redeveloped. For decades there was a public restaurant on the beach, and Trump was going to come in, dig several more underground stories (on the beach, which sounds really exciting), and modestly call it ‘Trump on the Ocean’. But Hurricane Sandy was given as the reason for the project falling through.

Oddly enough, other local businesses and structures managed to come back from the storm, but it proved too much for Trump. According to the Huffington Post at the time:

“The billionaire real estate mogul has abandoned plans to build a controversial $24 million catering hall called Trump On The Ocean because it’s, well, on the ocean, Newsday reports. Developers and state park officials are calling it quits on the restaurant, which was planned for New York’s Jones Beach park, citing concerns over future storm damage after the current foundation flooded.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/27/donald-trump-jones-beach-sandy-ocean

So, it seems that building on sandy coastlines that are occasionally hit by storms can be difficult, and moving sand and storms are sound reasons for Trump to cease construction plans and abandon promised developments. I’ll be glad to be back in Aberdeenshire where such a thing couldn’t happen.

Meanwhile back in the Deen, officials have commented on the news that the remains (legs actually) of deer were found on Tullos Hill and on Kincorth Hill earlier in January. The police were swift to correct a source who reported five deer had been killed on Tullos Hill; it was only four – you’ll all be as relieved as I am to know it’s a mere four, not five butchered deer.

With regards to the deer leg found on Kincorth Hill though, things get stranger. The person who found the leg ran into someone who claimed to be a ranger – but the ranger service claim no rangers were in the area.

it preserved the original external wall with its interesting architecture

Whether the deer were chased with dogs, shot, or otherwise killed and how much suffering was involved remains a mystery, but no doubt our ranger service and police will pull out all the stops to find out what’s going on and protect our wildlife.

You know, the wildlife that had no ‘natural predators’ according to our city officials and Aileen Malone, so that they had to be shot for the trees to be planted. At least we’ll soon have a beautiful source of lumber – sorry community forest – that deer can live in, created by killing the existing deer and removing most of the gorse they could have potentially hidden in from whoever is killing them.

So, another ‘Well Done’ goes to those on the tree scheme. Cheers chaps. No doubt you’ll get some more awards soon.

Museums:

Old Susannah visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art; the admission fees are optional, and dozens of schools were visiting. Oddly, there was construction work taking place to keep the building in good repair. There had been an extension built; this was a high ceiling extension with one glass side; it preserved the original external wall with its interesting architecture, yet made a nice large space for modern art.

It would of course been much more hip and happening if they had plunked a giant rectangular building on top of the existing structure, but it took Aberdeen to think of such a concept. In fact, the whole area is part of a historical district and local residents participate in preserving and celebrating the area.

Strangely, this was a natural evolution based on the artists who practiced in the area, the galleries, the high quality of the architecture and so on. If New York were better organised though, it would have a few dozen different groups, quangos and initiatives assigning names to different quarters arbitrarily, and then changing these names around every time a new shop or gallery opens or (more likely) closes.

See you in Aberdeen’s cultural quarter when I’m back – I’ll just have to figure out if it’s still on Holburn Street this week, or if the powers that be have moved it back to the HMT area or not.

I’ll definitely be in the Merchant Quarter to soak up the promised café culture.

“Described as the “beat and soul of Aberdeen” it offers some of the best dining experiences in Aberdeen, contemporary clothing shops and live music venues.”
http://www.rguschoolhillcampus.com/aberdeen/leisure/

There are dozens and dozens of small museums in New York State; many of these smaller ones are run by volunteers, and supported by private and public funds. Even the less profitable museums are retained because they are cultural assets. In short, these places and their collections should be sold to make more money. Raynam Hall for instance is a small white colonial house with exhibitions from the Revolutionary War.

Fundraising would not have worked here in one of Scotland’s richest cities

It’s small, there are no rides, and there’s not even a giant parking lot. The permanent collection will never be broken up, and for some reason local schools make cultural trips and take students to see Raynam Hall and other museums as part of their education. Sounds expensive to me.

Back in Aberdeen, we realise the value of our culture. We sell it. Thomas Glover House wasn’t pulling in enough money, so in 2012 its trustees sold furniture. As the Scotsman reported:

“Councillor John Reynolds, a former Lord Provost of Aberdeen who is one of the Glover house trustees, explained: ‘There was no money coming in and the curator had to go and the place had to close. And for the last two years the building has just been kept wind and water tight.

‘We had two options – either to sell the building or negotiate with the council for them to take it over. And that is where we are this moment in time.”

Mr Reynolds continued:

“We had to clear the place to save on the business rates which were quite exorbitant. We sold some of the period furniture – none of it Glover’s – which we had bought for the house and we put the important items we had collected into storage’.”
http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/heritage/tourist-plan-for-scottish-samurai-s-aberdeen-home-1-3278025

By the way, Glover was a little-known figure who opened up a small country named Japan to the western world; he was also involved in founding a small company called Mitsubishi. The house has been closed for two years. Yes, I guess in a poor city like Aberdeen John Reynolds was right – there were only two options – sell parts of the collection or close.

Fundraising would not have worked here in one of Scotland’s richest cities; applying for grants and loans from public and private sectors here and in Japan would not have been an option, either. Better not to have tried. But there is good news.

Glover made history; he introduced two cultures to each other, brought new art and design to the west, and made numerous contributions to Japan and Scotland. Therefore it is only fitting that his old house is to be relaunched as:

“a temple of good economic relations between Scotland and the Land of the Rising Sun.”

So, forget the Glover-related history, artwork, culture, etc. What we really need is a temple to economic relations.

If there is one thing that we do worship in Aberdeen, it is economics. Pity they didn’t think of turning Glover’s house into a temple to money earlier; no doubt that would have got the attention of Aberdeen’s great and good. Perhaps a Temple to Mammon could be built over UTG as well. There’s no word yet what form of worship will take place in the ‘Glover Temple to Economic Relations’, but I’ll keep you posted.

when the structures have sufficiently rotted, the land can finally be used for new offices or housing

In summary, New York has many small museums which get grants from the public and private sectors. School visits to these places help support their upkeep, and children get to experience the past and their culture first hand – they should of course be learning how to pass exams instead.

Such museums preserve aspects of culture and history, instead of being ‘forward looking’ and take up valuable land which could be developed instead.

By contrast, Aberdeen, the would-be city of culture, is a bit light on such field trips, has high business rates, and allows people to flog the contents of its historic buildings which are left to rot like Glover’s house and Westburn House; in a few years, when the structures have sufficiently rotted, the land can finally be used for new offices or housing.

New York’s government supports museums large and small, and I’m not at all sure if they even have a version of ACSEF at all. Aberdeen instead pours money into worthwhile successes like ACSEF, which have the talent that’s made our retail sector what it is today.

We spend our tax money on really important things like bidding to be City of Culture and paying consultants to come up with great new city of culture proposed events like ‘gigs on rigs’ and the concert on the Dee which was to feature ships’ horns, water and horses, while our existing museums close.

It’s worth mentioning that there is one organically growing sector with a geographical area not planned out by ACSEF or Inspired: The Beermuda triangle is a reality. BrewDog and the Moorings started it with their copious selections of great craft brews; Six Degrees North and latterly Casc have opened their doors to take advantage of the growing interest in beer and the resultant potential for revenue.

This happened without any ACSEF think tanks, no outside consultants, and not even Rita Stephen. We’ve got a mini cultural/retail happening, and it’s happening because of a few innovators. Who knows? Maybe the Beermuda Triangle will make it onto the official ‘quarters’ map one of these days.

Newspaper: (Eng. plural noun) a printed publication containing current events, stories; recent history as well as advertisements and editorials.

Old Susannah has been keeping up with the exciting news from Aberdeen as well as the more mundane New York goings on.

Here in New York, the papers vary widely in political outlook, making it very confusing to know what you should think on an issue. The New York Times, Newsday, The New York Daily News, The New York Post and a few other such minor publications vary widely in outlook, and not too many of these have lots of cute pictures of babies or newlyweds taking up the first few pages of the news.

The stories in newspapers such as the NYT and Newsday can’t be up to much; most of their pieces are available free online. You can subscribe to Newsday for instance and get both a paper copy and the full online version for just about the same cost of getting the web content of the Press & Journal (now a bargain at 1 year: £129.99).

Worse still, most of the New York newspapers print letters from readers on different sides of an issue, thus confusing readers. I can find no traces in New York’s newspapers of ‘Happy Tots’ competitions, and no articles at all about the important work ACSEF does or what its members’ opinions are. It’s as if the New York papers don’t pay attention to the important international news at all.

All in all, we have two interesting cities with coastal areas, meadows, forests, interesting architecture, and a mix of cultures. One city preserves its green spaces and historic buildings at all costs, spends money on ensuring children’s education includes culture, history and arts, has a wide range of newspapers giving different points of view, and favouring citizen-led initiatives to naturally shape policy and where culture and arts evolve naturally with public and private support.

Here’s hoping that New York will forget all that nonsense soon, and start thinking like our quangos and governments do here.

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