Apr 182014
 

Aberdeen Voice’s ‘poetry mannie in residence’ Bob Smith revisits the land of Lear and returns with more topical limericks.
clownlow

There is a mannie ca’ed Trump
Fa is a maist affa grump
Fin nae gettin his ain wye
Wid lit oot ess cry
Menie a micht hae ti dump
.
There is a chiel named Tucker
Ti some he wis a richt f- -ker
Ti “The Donald” aywis fawnin
Fin the Trump era wis dawnin
Some fowk he played fer a sucker
.
A lad doon in Glesga ca’ed Ally
His team wisna able ti rally
The Gers hidna a clue
Their fans war fair “blue”
Raith Rovers war haen a ball eh?
.
There wis a young loon ca’ed May
Fer St Johnstone he won the day
Aiberdeen fans were pissed
Fin chunces war missed
Nae Cup Final fer Dandies in May
.
There is a mannie fae Muse
Fa tries ti mak us swally a ruse
“Fowks views we did heed
Bit gless biggins we need
Gweed views ye’ll jist hae ti lose”
.
Scotland’s First Meenister “Wee Eck”
Micht he hae the poond or the maik
Wull “big business” pull oot
An doon ti England fair scoot
Leavin Scotia’s economy a wreck
.
There is an MP ca’ed Miller
Fa didna pye back a the siller
She bint a fyow rules
Took us aa fer richt fules
Her hans nae langer on tiller
.
There is a chiel Davie Moyes
Fa tried oot aa o his ploys
Yet Man Utd got beat
Fans stairtit ti bleat
An oot their prams cam the toys
.
There wis young fella named Leigh
Fa plays fitba fer Celtic FC.
Is Griffiths jist a daft loon
Wi nithing unner his croon?
Or a dyed in the wool racist “b”?
.
A politican mannie Farage
On TV he fair wis in charge
Nick Clegg wis ootfocht
As mair votes he socht
Wull UKIP noo mount a barrage
There is a leader named Putin
In Crimea he fair pit the boot in
Maist fowk in Ukraine
Think the bugger a pain
Hopin aat’s the eyn o the shootin
.
There is a Prime Meenister Cameron
In Hooses o Parlimint is aye yammerin
We’re aa in it thegither
Like sister an brither
Hame ess message he is noo hammerin
.
There is a chiel named Pistorius
In Sooth Africa his life’s nae harmonious
In sheetin his quine
Wis he oot o his myn
Wis the relationship a bit acrimonious
.
There wis a quine named Peaches
Eence hid trouble wi media leeches
Noo the puir quine is deid
Wull the “vultures” noo feed
Aboot society fit dis ess teach us
.
There wis a mannie John Muir
Throwe America he likit ti tour
Some progress he thocht blind
Hurtin mair than mankind
Some criticism he hid ti endure
.
Lord Myners a chief fae the Co-opie
His reforms some thocht a bit ropey
He resigned on the spot
Sayin aat’s noo yer lot
The power struggle it is a bit dopey
.
There is a young prince ca’ed Dod
Fa’s the latest royalty bod
Some wifies wint aa gooey
Prince Dod thocht—a phooey
A’m a fartin an riftin wee sod
.
There wis a rhymer ca’ed Burns
His love life it took a fyow turns
Mony lasses he lo’ed
He stood oot in a crood
Did aat plooman poet Rabbie Burns
.
There wis an auld chiel ca’ed Bob
Writin poetry fer AV wis his job
Some thocht it wis great
Yet ithers fair got irate
As “grenades” he sometimes did lob.
.
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014
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Mar 212013
 

By Bob Smith.

Lord McCluskey his recommendit
We shud regulate Scottish press
Iss his caused a richt ballyhoo
Fae Stranraer up tae Stromness

The press maun hae freedom
Tae tell us aa fit’s fit
Bit ower mony o oor tabloids
Jist print a load o shit

The SNP is noo thinkin
O publishin it’s ain paper
Mony fowk are nae in favour
O iss  propaganda caper

The opeenion column o the P&J
His been caain fer democracy
Thoosans o fowk wull be laachin
Aboot their bliddy hypocrisy

Aa iss fae oor local paper
Faa’s bias tae Trump’s weel kent
Yet views fae Tripping up Trump
They widna pit intae print

“Traitors” bawled the “Evenin Express”
At the cooncillors faa voted no
Fin Trump’s application wis thrown oot
“EE” condemnation wisna slow

A paper’s voice maan be heard
As lang’s they play bi the rules
An nae be thocht o nation wide
As “The Laird o Menie’s Fules”

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Jan 182013
 

By Bob Smith.

If ye didna ken afore
Ye need tae read the A.V.
Tae ken fit’s really happ’nin
In the toon twixt Don an Dee

The P&J  gies ye ae side
O a story there’s nae doot
Bit tae read anither side
A doot ye wull miss oot

The “EE” it is the same
Div fowk read it onymair?
The airt o democratic reportin?
They hiv fair lost the flair

Baith ower canny wi their print
A coordy custard approach detected
Ad. revenue they maan protect
Big business views aye reflected

Ceetizen journalism’s on the mairch
Wi the Aiberdeen Voice tae the fore
Maist o the mainstream media
Are noo classed as bein a bore

Times they hiv moved on
Fae the days o ink an quill
Bit some fowk in oor toon
Wull fecht fer democracy still

So tho yer nine or ninety
An fer truth ye div aspire
AV shud be yer readin
Ither local media are dire

© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Jan 142013
 

In the second of a new series of topical commentaries, Duncan Harley reflects on Life, the Universe and Everything. A sideways look at the world and its foibles.

Carnegie Libraries

Scotland has a tradition of public education second to none and libraries have been at the forefront of the disbursement of knowledge since the establishment of the Leadhills Miners Reading Society in Lanarkshire.

Founded in 1741, it is the oldest subscription library in the British Isles.

Research by The Carnegie UK Trust in 2012 shows that Scots still love libraries, with over three-quarters believing they are either very important or essential to their community, with 61% reporting having used a library at least once in the last year – a higher figure than any other part of the UK.

The Trust is one of over twenty foundations established by Andrew Carnegie in the 19th Century and almost certainly funded a local library near you.

The name of the game was:

“improvement of the well-being of the masses of the people of Great Britain and Ireland by such means as are embraced within the meaning of the word charitable and which the Trustees may, from time to time, select as best fitted from age to age for securing these purposes, remembering that new needs are constantly arising as the masses advance”.

The result was a massive step forward in the emancipation of the working folk of Scotland.

This image above is of Inverurie’s Andrew Carnegie Library.  Built in 1911 as an addition to the rather striking Italian style 1863 Town Hall, it has a rather functional and even stern appearance. This was I am sure down to the architect, one Harbourne Maclennan, who seemingly was a specialist in designing papermaking factories, including those in Culter, Stoneywood and Woodside in Aberdeen.

Mind you, in many ways it is quite apt a designer of the means of producing paper should be instrumental in the experience of the end user.

“Titanic sinks, North East Man Loses Pound in Broad Street”

On Saturday I purchased the Independent and the Guardian at a cost of £3.90. Somewhat unusually, I even took a peek at the Sun and the Mail but I would try to avoid the Sunday Post the next morning, which is quite easy since it only has made-up news no one would believe anyway.

Billed on its website as:

“a colourful, upbeat paper, with pages packed with news, views and features of a particularly Scottish flavour and part of Scotland’s culture for many years, successfully retaining the best of the old with the zest of the new”.

I feel quite dizzy when confronted with a copy. Recent front page headlines include “Esther Blasts Savile Probe” and a “Free Photo Print For Every Reader”.

The victims of Savile and 1370 redundant Jessops staff members will no doubt be very amused.

I digress. I bought the newspapers because I am a voyeur of all things odd. We all are to some extent, I think.

Folk used to turn up at public hangings in Aberdeen city centre. The condemned person would be forced to walk out of the townhouse windows onto the scaffold, make a wee speech in front of the assembled crowd, then hanged for all to view. There are many contemporary accounts of such judicial killings in the book Hangman’s Brae by Norman Adams, which I highly recommend.

One is a somewhat heart-rending recount of the execution of Kate Humphrey in 1830. Convicted of the murder of her husband, her last words were:

“I die innocent, I loved my husband, I love my life, Jesus Christ have mercy on my soul.”

Upon which her body dropped. It took six minutes for her to die and afterwards her corpse was transported to Edinburgh to be dissected at Dr Alexander Munro’s dissecting rooms. A sad end, indeed, but good reading if you like that sort of stuff!

I have to report, however, that I am so far unable to read about that Savile man in my newspapers of choice. It’s not because I am a coward or a wimp. It’s not because I cannot face the issues. It’s not because the issues are unimportant.

In fact, it’s the opposite.

When that man in Dunblane, whose name should never be mentioned, murdered all those children a few years ago, the site of the atrocity was demolished, the law in Scotland was changed to prohibit the ownership of guns without good cause and the press focused mainly not upon the perpetrator but on the victims and the need for change. Rightly so, in my opinion.

In the case of Savile, the reporting often seems to be sensational in the extreme and directed purely towards the selling of newspapers at the expense of good, unbiased articles. The victims seem to have been somewhat sidelined.

I sincerely hope those who suffered at Savile’s hands can have closure on what is an horrific situation. The press, however – including that newspaper we all like and love in the North East, which carried “Savile Victim in Aberdeen” as a front page headline – should back off and show some respect.

That headline seemed to be proclaiming that Aberdeen was not going to be left out of the scandal.

The oddest thing about Savile is that for decades he was known by many in power to be a rapist, paedophile and sex offender, yet they did nothing much about it until after his death.

Reminds me of Ronnie and Reggie Kray, somehow. Actresses, bishops and even policemen loved to have their photographs taken with the jolly pair. They kept order in the East End of London, after all, and most importantly, they loved their old mum.

Mind you, they did have an unfortunate habit of nailing folk to coffee tables to convince them of their errant ways.

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Jul 202012
 

Our News Editor, Gubby Plenderleith, provides a brief outline of some of the main news stories from around Scotland.

Police raided a further 10 homes in Strathclyde at the weekend as part of a major crackdown on people who are in possession of products which have passed their ‘use by’ dates.

Officers targeted properties in the Paisley area as part of a second week of strikes on suspected offenders. Two men and a woman have been charged with ‘use by’ date offences, while a further two women were arrested in connection with a number of offences relating to keeping a dirty house.

Dozens of homes have been raided since the campaign – code named Operation Dirty Minger – began and more than 40 arrests having made over the last fortnight.

Interviewed following the raids the officer in charge, Inspector Malkie McSpankiebot said:

“Some o’ they people is pure dead manky, by-ra-way!  One of the wumming involved had a raspb’ry yoghurt in her fridge that was o’er a week past its ‘use by’ date. 

“Do these folk no’ have ony dignity?”

A report has been sent to the Procurator Fiscal and Aggie McKenzie.

*           *           *

Following the recent publication of the business case for Aberdeen’s City Garden Project, a local business man has spoken out passionately in support of the development:

“It is my genuine belief that if this iconic development is allowed to go ahead, there will be many tangible benefits far in excess of the estimated 6,500 new jobs and average annual growth of £142m for the city.

“I have spoken to a number of people about the plans and am more than ever convinced that this project could also result in solving the country’s current economic crisis, reversing the negative effects of global warming and finding a cure for both cancer and the common cold.”

He has asked to remain anonymous in case he is asked to contribute towards the cost of the scheme.

*           *           *

In response to Lord Luvvaduque handing down a 30 year sentence to gangland boss Charlie ‘Pit Bull’ McNutter at Edinburgh High Court on Tuesday, Johan Lamont has asked Justice Secretary Kenny McAskill what he is going to do about the fact that over 30 of Mr McNutter’s employees are now facing redundancy.

*           *           *

Addressing a meeting of the Carnwath Guild of Mothers for Bigger Bridies this week, Secretary of State for Scotland, Michael Moore made his most impassioned plea yet for Scotland to remain within the United Kingdom:

“What you must remember,” he said, “is that a vote for independence is a vote that’ll put me out of a job!”

*           *           *

Police in Achiltibuie have reported that a 48 year old man has been detained in custody following an incident in the town centre on Wednesday evening.  A spokesman for Northern Constabulary has said that the man cannot be named on account of him being the Chief Constable’s brother in law.

*           *           *

Archie McDreich, who stood unsuccessfully as the prospective parliamentary candidate for Auchtertool South at the last general election, has announced that he is giving up mainstream politics and joining the Liberal Democrats.

*           *           *

In the wake of the recent controversy over the proposed visit of the Duntocher Weighwatchers Club to Shetland, Aberdeen Voice can report that NorthLink Ferries have decided to give them a wide berth.

*           *           *

In a recent interview with Hullarrer magazine, Hollywood megastar Mel Gibson revealed that, on principle, he never wears under vests.  A spokesman for Mr Gibson has since denied that the actor is anti-semmitic!

*           *           *

Clarifications & corrections

In last week’s edition of Aberdeen Voice we described councillor Tam Sproat as a self effacing pragmatist when we should actually have said is that he is a fat, ugly, moron.  We apologise for our error.

Oct 212011
 

By Bob Smith.

A’ve bin haen an e-mail natter
Wi a mannie fae the P&J
Aboot their lack o recogneetion
Fer the film aboot the Menie affray

Nae meention o it’s Scottish premiere
Fit wye?  A thocht a wid speir
“You’ve Been Trumped” is a success
The P&J winna mak iss clear

Na Na,  the chiel wisna haen iss
The paper hid scriven some spiel
On mony occasions said the mannie
He must think a’m bliddy feel !!

I syne askit plain an ti the pint
Dates please faan iss wis printed
The chiel widna say nae mair
So a didna git fit a wintit

Noo the craitur wis maist pit oot
Fer hintin they war Trumpie’s freen
Maybe if the mannie hid ‘s wye
A’d be run oot o Aiberdeen

A’ve aywis thocht a newspaper
Wis supposed ti report the news
Tho aboot  “You’ve Been Trumped”
We’ll nivver read the P&J’s views

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011
Image Credit: © Guy Shapira | Dreamstime.com

Aug 042011
 

By Tom Shepherd. 

Idle banter, useless prattle
Blether, gossip, tittle-tattle
“Have you heard?”
“No, what’s the matter?”
 Scuttle-butt and empty chatter.

Vacant news and hollow lies
Scarring friendships, breaking ties
Neighbours gossip, rumour mills
Seeds of distrust sown, great ills
Harvested without a care
People once who trusted, stare.
Curtains twitch and heads are turned
Lovers part and colleagues spurned.

As threads through which we all relate
Are severed by fear, doubt and hate,
Where honeyed tongues drown honesty
In stagnant mire of false decree
When speculation, most uncouth,
With hateful slander strangles proof.
Let voices soar, cry from the roof;
“Whatever happened to the truth?”

Image credit: © Guy Shapira | Dreamstime.com

 

 

 

Jul 222011
 

By Bob Smith.

 

Yon Murdoch mannie’s nae happy
In fact he’s jist fair pit oot
The NOTW accused o hackin phones
An pyein oor bobbies aff wi loot

Papers fer some mony ears
Hiv hid ower muckle swye
Politicians aa feart ti act
In case they’re hung oot ti dry

The investigative journalist hack
We still o coorse div need
Bit nae the type faa brak the rules
Jist ti satisfy Murdoch’s greed

Noo fowk faa bocht his papers
Some class  a Murdoch Muppet
An aa helpit prop up his empire
Oot his brose bowl they hiv suppit

Lit’s nae forget oor local lot
Faa git up ti aa sorts o capers
As promoters o  yon Donald Trump
Losh he’s nivver oot their papers 

The P&J shud bi worried
If its practices are reviewed
Ower lang its hid a monopoly
Gweed fowk’s views are screwed

Fae Lowrenkirk ti Lerwick
An ower wast ti Stornoway
The daily fit rules the roost?
It’s the bliddy P&J

It’s nae eese noo girnin
Ti thon lot at thePCC
We need fowk fa are independent
An fae press barons wull bide free

Ye’ll nae fin me greetin
If Murdoch he gings bust
An aa his media empire
It finally bites the dust

The only Murdoch a div like
Is fae “Sunday Post’s” comic stuff
An aul farrant sort o bobby
He’d  hae Rupert in hauncuffs 

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011
Image credit: © Christopher Hall | Dreamstime.com 

 

Jul 152011
 

Old Susannah looks back at the week that was and wonders who’s up to what and why.  By Suzanne Kelly.

 

 Tally Ho! First some good news this week: In a speech to graduating students, our very own Sir Ian Wood has said ‘his generation’ is responsible for many problems that the next generation will inherit. I suppose everyone who is in the great collective of people of his age have had equal power to improve the world as this particular billionaire oil magnate has.
Never before have so few done so much to get rid of a Victorian  Garden.  Fifty Million pounds – of his  own money –pledged to building a parking lot with a bit of grass over it,  conveniently adjacent to his friend Stew’s plot of land.

Could there be any better use for that kind  of money?

I wonder how much of the  remainder of his fortune will be used for the current African drought/famine crisis, to counteract poverty in the UK, to improve care for the elderly, to  buy jewellery for attractive statuesque blondes. I hope everyone in Ian’s  generation is sitting up and taking notice.  It’s your fault – one of the richest men in your age bracket says so.

However, it is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I must report that the News of the World has closed and the Murdoch takeover of  BskyB is off.  I have been crying over my pints of Brewdog for the last few days, so much so that people have mistakenly think I am laughing so hard I’m crying.

This must be quite a blow for Rup; at least he has his loving young wife Wendy and friend Tony Blair to comfort him (Tony and Rupert spoke quite a bit just before the UK joined in the Iraq takeover – sorry Iraq War).  That nice Rebekah Brooks was photographed while being drive away from NotW HQ in a rain-spattered car; it reminded me of the photo of Maggie Thatcher tearfully leaving No. 10 – which also made me very sad indeed.  Cheers!

They said he was ‘no oil painting’, but this has now been disproved.

Bad news close to home as well – one of our Labour Councillors is having a hard time over a dodgy old boiler (no, not you Kate). Councillor Hunter allegedly doesn’t have the correct credentials to fix gas boilers, which is rather unfortunate for someone who works fixing gas boilers.

The P&J had a splendid photo of Richard Baker, Labour MSP for the story it printed about Hunter. The picture of Baker’s caption had a scoop-of-the-year quote: “I know the man” Baker said.  I take back everything I’d ever said about the Press & Journal now that they’ve uncovered local Labour politicians are known to each other.  We should tell the authorities.

But at this rate I’ll not get on with any definitions, so here we go:

Public Spending:

(modern English phrase) Governmental use of funds to procure benefits, goods or services which may be of temporary or lasting significance, generally for the benefit of the public at large.  See also Common Good fund, applicable in parts of Scotland.

There is more trouble in Paradise this week, I am sorry to say.  Sadly, some people are being rather negative about our very own Lord Provost having his portrait commissioned.  They said he was ‘no oil painting’, but this has now been disproved.  This fantastic event will be justly commemorated with a joyous celebration, courtesy of The Common Good Fund.

What could be more reasonable?  The portrait cost £9,000 (I guess we could not find any RGU graduates in need of a commission), and hopefully the Chain of Office in the painting will have been gold-leafed on by Italian craftsmen flown over for the purpose.   I so look forward to attending this party!

I shall buy a new hat.  I’m thinking of getting my own portrait done, and may well pop out to one of those photo canvas printing places in Union Square Mall or similar for the £39.95 photo on canvas.

After all, it’s Common Good money paying for the  whole event – so I am taking this opportunity to tell everyone who pays taxes in Aberdeen to show up at the party.  If the Council has any objection to us all enjoying the party we’re paying for, I invite them to get in touch with me.

From my point of view the portrait and party represent all the best of public spending:  not only do we get a great party for our important citizens, but all of us will have a lasting reminder of the Lord Provost and all he has done for us.  In a previous column I complained that our City Councillors no longer had the taxpayer paying for their beautiful photo Christmas cards – this expenditure more than makes up for my disappointment.  I may suggest we do a statue as well; they are all the rage at present.

You would have thought with everything the LP (as his friend calls him) has done for Stewy and Ian, they would have clubbed together to pay for the bling portrait

Early rumours that a protest march will coincide with this monumental event are very disappointing.

I would hate to see marchers carrying pictures of our Lord Provost down Union Street on the day and/or holding a parallel party at some suitable venue.  If I’ve been spotted buying paint, brushes and sign-making material, it is purely coincidental.

The cost of outfitting our Lord Provost and his wife for a year … £10,000

The cost of a portrait of our Lord Provost … £9,000

The cost of a party to celebrate the portrait … £4,000

The cost of a blonde woman to guard said Provost and his bling necklace …  unknown

The cost of the Lord Provost casting the crucial tie-breaking vote that opened the floodgates on developing Union Terrace Gardens: PRICELESS

You would have thought with everything the LP (as his friend calls him) has done for Stewy and Ian, they would have clubbed together to pay for the bling portrait.  After all, one good turn deserves another, and what are friends for?

Whistleblower:

(modern English noun) a person who is aware of public or private sector corruption, malpractice or unlawful act(s) who comes forward to expose it.

Private Eye’s current issue has an excellent work concerning NHS whistleblowers and how badly they have been treated – and how vital their whistleblowing has been.  If you get the chance, please do pick it up.

Here in Aberdeen obviously there is nothing going on in government which needs any exposure.  All invoices are always above board, every councillor declares their interest in advance of any relevant vote, land deals are always done to get best market value, and everything’s just rosy.

As I touched on last week, the City has written to its employees to warn them not to use ‘social networking websites’ to make any comment about their managers or the Council.  Many of you have sent me copies of your letters – after all the letters are not marked ‘confidential’ – so why not? You have been wondering what is or is not appropriate to post on websites or ‘disclosing in any medium’.  Here’s the Council’s sage advice from those letters (asterisks are mine):-

“to clarify what is regarded as unacceptable*, so there is no doubt about what is being referred to, would include:

“Publishing defamatory or generally unacceptable* comments, views or information about the Council, its employees, clients or customers (including school pupils) in any medium including social networking sites;

“Publishing any photographs of clients or customers in any medium including social networking sites without first obtaining formal permission;

“Breaching confidentiality by disclosing  information relating to the Council in any medium, including social networking sites, to persons not authorised to possess it”.

*Old Susannah is no lawyer, but if you’re going to set out to define what’s ‘unacceptable’ and you use the word ‘unacceptable’ in your first point, you’re not doing a great job. In fact, I’d say it’s ‘unacceptable.’

Again, I’m no lawyer, but it might have been a good idea to mention in these great letters that there is legislation protecting whistleblowers.  It doesn’t often protect these people as well as it should, as the Private Eye Whistleblower article points out.

However, if you know of something going on that is wrong, then you should forget all about it because you fear the City’s ‘discipline’ procedure which is mentioned later in the letters. I did not read all of the City’s whistleblower policy – but here is a taster of that policy:-

“…The policy allows individuals to voice their concerns in relation to information they believe shows serious malpractice or wrongdoing within Aberdeen City Council.   It allows for this information to be disclosed internally* without fear of reprisal and independently of their line management if appropriate.  The Public Interest Disclosure Act (1999) gives legal protection to individuals against being dismissed or penalised by their employers as a result of publicly* disclosing certain serious concerns.”

*Once again Old Susannah is not a lawyer, but on the one hand the City says you can disclose information internally – the act says you can publicly disclose serious concerns.  Back to that Council  letter :-

“…if you make comment on your employment/employer via social networking sites or by other electronic means and this is brought to the attention of management you will be held to account for those comments.  Such behaviour will be viewed as contrary to the Council’s Employee Code of Conduct, which is being updated to reflect this issue and will be dealt with under the Managing Discipline procedure.”

I hope everyone who got a letter is suitably frightened.

So to clarify:  in the larger world of the UK, it is acknowledged that there are times when public disclosure is allowable.  Here in Aberdeen you have the right to complain internally, and if you go public with something, you will be…disciplined.  I’m very glad to have cleared that up. It is just as well nothing ever goes wrong or is untoward in our city.

But if you are one of the lucky letter-holders, you might want to brush up on the Public Disclosure Act – just in case you ever find something in our City is not quite as it should be.  (Call me; we’ll talk).  Obviously no one would ever make an anonymous Facebook page or blog (whatever that is) and air their grievances anonymously.

Finally, just as proof there are plenty of good news stories out there, not only does the Aberdeen Voice bring them to you, but one of the Voice’s contributors has a rather nice blog.

I guess this blog thing is a ‘social network’ thingy that has the City so very worried.  This ‘rxpell’ chap and I often seem to be along similar lines – he’s written things in the past just before I planned to, and has made a nice job of it.  (Unfortunately he does tend to veer towards sarcasm and cynicism sometimes – which of course I cannot really approve of).  The clues to the blog’s content are in the link below:
http://rxpell.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/blundergate-boilergate-briefgate-buffetgate/

Now off to buy that new outfit and hat for the portrait demonstration – sorry, I mean portrait unveiling.

Next week:  probably: still no progress on FOI requests on land deals or deer.  Hopefully: Aberdeen Voice art competition announcement.  Definitely:  more definitions

Jul 012011
 

By Bob Smith.

Hiv ye heard o the fairy tale
Fit’s telt bi oor local press
Faa boast they report aa local news?
A richt fable ye maun confess

An award winnin film ‘You’ve Been Trumped’
Ti a full picter hoose it played
Nivver a wird in the P&J
Nae EE heidlines iss made

Noo it wis the Scottish premier
O the story aboot fowk at Menie
Ye wid hae thocht iss warranted
A scrawl fae a journalist’s penie

Can ye tell fact fae fiction
Fan oor local press div print?
Stories aboot gyaan’s on at Menie
Ah’m feart the truth gits tint

Noo Trump flees in on private jet
Aa ower their front page it’s splashed
Yet aboot harassment o the Menie fowk
They’re nae aat bliddy fashed

Maybe o coorse oor local press
Ti print some stories they’re nae able
Jist in case they fin theirsels
Banished fae Trump’s tap table.

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011