Apr 182014
Aberdeen Voice’s ‘poetry mannie in residence’ Bob Smith revisits the land of Lear and returns with more topical limericks.
| There is a mannie ca’ed Trump Fa is a maist affa grump Fin nae gettin his ain wye Wid lit oot ess cry Menie a micht hae ti dump . There is a chiel named Tucker Ti some he wis a richt f- -ker Ti “The Donald” aywis fawnin Fin the Trump era wis dawnin Some fowk he played fer a sucker . A lad doon in Glesga ca’ed Ally His team wisna able ti rally The Gers hidna a clue Their fans war fair “blue” Raith Rovers war haen a ball eh? . There wis a young loon ca’ed May Fer St Johnstone he won the day Aiberdeen fans were pissed Fin chunces war missed Nae Cup Final fer Dandies in May . There is a mannie fae Muse Fa tries ti mak us swally a ruse “Fowks views we did heed Bit gless biggins we need Gweed views ye’ll jist hae ti lose” . Scotland’s First Meenister “Wee Eck” Micht he hae the poond or the maik Wull “big business” pull oot An doon ti England fair scoot Leavin Scotia’s economy a wreck . There is an MP ca’ed Miller Fa didna pye back a the siller She bint a fyow rules Took us aa fer richt fules Her hans nae langer on tiller . There is a chiel Davie Moyes Fa tried oot aa o his ploys Yet Man Utd got beat Fans stairtit ti bleat An oot their prams cam the toys . There wis young fella named Leigh Fa plays fitba fer Celtic FC. Is Griffiths jist a daft loon Wi nithing unner his croon? Or a dyed in the wool racist “b”? . A politican mannie Farage On TV he fair wis in charge Nick Clegg wis ootfocht As mair votes he socht Wull UKIP noo mount a barrage |
There is a leader named Putin In Crimea he fair pit the boot in Maist fowk in Ukraine Think the bugger a pain Hopin aat’s the eyn o the shootin . There is a Prime Meenister Cameron In Hooses o Parlimint is aye yammerin We’re aa in it thegither Like sister an brither Hame ess message he is noo hammerin . There is a chiel named Pistorius In Sooth Africa his life’s nae harmonious In sheetin his quine Wis he oot o his myn Wis the relationship a bit acrimonious . There wis a quine named Peaches Eence hid trouble wi media leeches Noo the puir quine is deid Wull the “vultures” noo feed Aboot society fit dis ess teach us . There wis a mannie John Muir Throwe America he likit ti tour Some progress he thocht blind Hurtin mair than mankind Some criticism he hid ti endure . Lord Myners a chief fae the Co-opie His reforms some thocht a bit ropey He resigned on the spot Sayin aat’s noo yer lot The power struggle it is a bit dopey . There is a young prince ca’ed Dod Fa’s the latest royalty bod Some wifies wint aa gooey Prince Dod thocht—a phooey A’m a fartin an riftin wee sod . There wis a rhymer ca’ed Burns His love life it took a fyow turns Mony lasses he lo’ed He stood oot in a crood Did aat plooman poet Rabbie Burns . There wis an auld chiel ca’ed Bob Writin poetry fer AV wis his job Some thocht it wis great Yet ithers fair got irate As “grenades” he sometimes did lob. . . . . . ©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014 |
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