Sep 262012

Voice’s poetry mannie Bob Smith takes a wee bit of a departure this week, seemingly in the footsteps of  Edward Lear, whilst ‘hingin on ticht’ to his native tongue.

There wis a young loon fae Montrose
Faa wore affa bricht coloured hose
He wint oot on his bike
Wis attacked by a tyke
Aat silly young loon fae Montrose
There wis a quine fae Stonehaven
Faa wis kent ti be a bit craven
She widna ging oot at nicht
In case she took fricht
Aat daft quine fae Stonehaven
There wis a chiel  fae Glen Garry
Faa’s job wis drivin a larry
He sped doon iss hill
Fell foul o the “Auld Bill”
Aat feelish chiel  fae Glen Garry
There wis a  quine fae Portree
Faa suddenly wint it ti pee
She wint intae lang girss
Bit fell doon on her erse
Aat  misfortnat quine fae  Portree
There wis a young loon fae Braemar
Faa needed a new motor car
He funcied an Alfa Romeo
Landed up wi a Mondeo
Aat puir young loon fae Braemar
There wis an aul man fae Kintore
Faa  funcied the local whore
Fin he asked fit it cost
He wis telt ti get lost
Aat randy auld man fae Kintore
There wis a young chiel fae Ayr
As an artist hid considerable flair
Ti pint a portrait o  his mither
He fun iss nae bither
Aat talented young chiel fae Ayr
There wis a  wifie fae Wick
Efter binge drinkin wis maist affa sick
She dooned three bottles o wine
An still thocht she’d be fine
Aat drunken  wifie fae Wick
There wis a billie fae Skene
At golf wis maist affa keen
He missed so mony putts
It drove the guy nuts
Aat daft gowfin billie fae Skene
There wis a young miss fae Rosehearty
Her dress sense wis thocht a bit “tarty”
Hemlines up ti her bum
Naethin coverin her tum
Aat modern young miss fae Rosehearty
There wis a young ned fae Lochcarron
Faa wis the local drugs baron
Ae  nicht he got drunk
An lost aa his “skunk”
Aat silly young ned fae Lochcarron
There wis an aul hag fae Lumphanan
Faa’s fart wis as lood as a cannon
Efter denner plus three gins
She cwid  be heard in Torphins
Aat “windy” aul  hag fae Lumphanan

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012