Jun 142013
 

By Bob Smith.

Trumpie’s jaws are in overdrive
Sayin the economy o Aiberdeen
Is aa doon tae him biggin
The greatest gowf course ivver seen
.
Gweed sakes fit an affa chiel
As a blaw he’ll nivver be beat
Expectin aa the fowk listenin
Tae drap doon an kiss his feet
.
A wunner fit thrivin business fowk
Think o aa Trumpie’s blether
Some must be teerin their hair
Ithers near the eyn o their tether
.
Trump ignores  the efforts o
The billies livin in oor toon
Faa biggit up oor economy
Lang afore iss bliddy goon
.
Trump his got a new award
Fae sum American Academy
Fit ye shud a ken is iss
The Donald’s a main trustee
.
The chiel is off’rin an olive brunch
Tae Wee Eck as a token o peace
Iss symbol it is lang derived
Fae the customs o Ancient Greece
Iss offer his git strings attached
The bay windfairm it maun go
Else Trump’ll nae bigg his hotel
An hoose biggin wull be slow
.
Tae be pals eence again
Trump maun git his ain wye
The SNP billies are expectit
Tae eat bliddy humble pie
|
Wull Eck stretch oot his airms
Sayin, “Donald, lit’s hae a cuddle
A’ll move the turbines far awa
An sort oot iss affa muddle”
.
Wee Eck micht be mony things
Bit he’s nae aat bliddy daft
He kens he’d lose mony votes
As independence he tries tae craft
.
So Donald yer in a quandry
Tae bigg or nae tae bigg
Fitivver ye decide tae dee
Ye’ll aye be thocht a prig
.
.
.
.
Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jun 072013
 

By Bob Smith.

‘Fit’s aat up abeen?’, says I
Fin a spied an ususual sicht
A yalla orb in the sky
Shinin doon sae bricht

A hid tae rack ma memory
Tae think fit it micht be
It cam tae me sudden like
T’wis the sun fit a did see

It hid been a wee fylie
Since it showed its face
Hail, rain, win an caul
Wis fit we’ve hid tae face

So shine on richt merrily
Mr Sun ye cheer us aa up
An hae us steppin oot briskly
As tho we wis a young pup

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image: Orange Sunset © Zoran Tripalo  Dreamstime Stock Photos

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Jun 062013
 

By Bob Smith.

I like the quote fae Mahatma Gandhi faar he said  “There is sufficiency in the world for man’s need but not for man’s greed” A wunner fit the wee mannie wid say noo fin consumerism is the new religion o the warld.
Or foo aboot Vernon Howard, the American author and philosopher faa wrote ” You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need”

If aat’s the case it wid appear nae muckle fowk hiv succeeded in life.

Economist billies keep tellin us we maun spen oor bawbees so aat the economy stairts tae growe again. Iss tae me is a heap o bliddy crap. Iss is foo sum puir fowk git intae debt – bi spennin dosh on thingies they dinna really need.

A’ve heard consumerism described as bein in the business o pinchin siller oot o fowks’ pooches withoot threatenin them wi hairm. An yet a  lot o us div get hairmed bi the consumer business fit is aided an abettit by the advertisin billies an the merchandisers.

The young in society are the eens maist likely tae faa fer aa the bling. Ye ken fit a mean – they’re aa telt they are oot o touch if they hinna got iss or aat, be it the newest smairt phone or the latest fashion accessory. Lead bi the nose tae the cash tills is foo a wid describe fits happ’nin.

I can hear a lot o fowk mutterin, “they dinna hae tae spen their siller if they dinna wint till“. Aye some fowk micht stairt oot tae nae spen sae muckle bawbees bit the power o advertisin an in the case o the young, peer pressure can force them tae dee itherwise. I wark’t in advertisin fer nigh on quarter o a ceentury an ken richt weel foo persuasive ads can be, baith fae a “must hae” situation tae panderin tae yer fantasies.

Tak the ad on TV faar a young chiel douses himsel wi a weel kent body spray an his a the bonnie lassies fae miles aroon comin in bye. Tak it fae me fowks it disna work. A’ve tried it!!!

Noo fin ye’ve aa recovered fae fa’in aboot laachin aat the thocht o a seeventy plus mannie splashin himsel unner the oxsters wi fine smellin stuffie an sittin in his airm-cheer waitin fer a boorachie o gweed leukin young weemin tae pye him a visit (ach I can aye dream), a’ll git back tae reality.

A read the followin bittie jist the ither day fit sums thingies up perfectly.

“Landfills swell wi cheap throwe awa products fit brak doon easily an canna be repaired. Some products are made psychologically obsolete lang afore they actually weer oot. A generation is growen up withoot kennin fit quality goods are. Freenship, faimily ties an personal autonomy are only promoted as a vehicle fer gift gien an the rationale fer the selection o communication services and personal acquisition. Aathing becums mediated throwe the spennin o siller on goods an services. Human beins faa canna spen becum worthless”

Source:- www.verdant.net/consumerism

Noo a’ve nithing agin shoppin as a rule bit faar it gits oot o haun is fin sum fowk gyaang oot fer een or twa bitties an cum hame with aboot a dizzen, jist cos  they war a bargain. A bargain is only a bargain if ye really need it at aat precise meenit.

Ma wife leuks at me in despair as fin I ging shoppin a ken fit a wint an efter a’ve bocht it a buggar aff oot o the shop like a reid ersed bee. Ma gweed wife  likes tae dee a bittie browsin afore an efter she’s bocht fit she wints.

Fit’s wrang wi aat a hear ye say? Nithing, so far as ma wife’s concerned, cos she’s resistant tae aa the sales spiel bit ower mony puir craiturs are catcht hook line an sinker. They’ve noo becum disciples o Mammon, the god o excess. Consumerism is the ivveryday face o iss “religion”.

( Above image licensed from http://www.genderforum.org/uploads/media/286ae254d0.jpg  under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License.  )

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
May 312013
 

By Bob Smith.

A makkin o tatties
Fresh fae the dreel
Wi a dollop o butter
It fair tastes richt weel

Duke o York or Kerr’s Pink
An wi earth they are barkit
They aa miles aheid
Than fae ony supermairket

Majestic or Golden Wonder
Micht gyang throwe the bree
Bit onything is far better
Than Maris Piper tae me

Fin they’re bein plunted
An in earth they are stuck
Myn the best fertiliser’s
A gweed pile o muck

So praise the humble tattie
It’s gweed an it’s cheap
An nourishes yer body
Like an affa fine neep

Jist myn fin yer buyin
Taste it dis maitter
Auld varieties are best
Nae eens fit cam later

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

May 172013
 

By Bob Smith.

There is a Native American sayin “Treat the Earth weel. We dinna inherit the Earth fae oor ancestors We borra it fae oor children” Aat bein the case oor affspring are nae gyaan tae be verra happy wis us.

We’re makkin a richt bliddy pig’s erse o lookin efter the planet we aa bide on.

Een o the biggest problems wi hiv is foo we use the lan we bide on.

There his bin huge pressure pit on the Earth’s ecosystems since the Industrial Revolution. Afore aat maist fowk workit in the rural areas bit wi the onset o fit poet William Blake described as the “dark satanic mills” fowk moved intae growen toons an pollution fair belched oot o factory lums and the coal fires o the workers hames.

It is alleged carbon dioxide levels hiv increased  by 38% since 1750 an methane levels by 148%.

So aat wis  the stairt o oor planet’s problems bit thingies hiv gotten worse ower the past hunner ‘ear an speecially so in the past fifty.

There hiv bin “land grabs” fae the indeginous fowk o various kwintras tae further the interests o big business throwe mair minin, loggin an cattle ranchin, tae name bit three, resultin in the loss o lan fer agricuture so aat the fowk can nae langer feed thersels.

Forests hiv bin cut doon, fowk displaced,the habitats o animals destroyed, aa in the name o so ca’ed progress. The human race is spreadin its tentacles aawye usin up the Earth’s resources at sic a speed the planet hisna hid time tae recover.

Awa back in time fowk jist used fit they nott an leukit efter the natural world, livin side bi side wi the ither inhabitants o the Earth. Nooadays we hiv becum greedy an it’s a race tae see faa can mak the maist dosh an nivver myn if wi leave ahint a trail o destruction in the rush tae achieve economic growth.

As a chiel faa cums fae a fairmin backgrun it pains me tae hae tae write iss next bittie, bit modern intensive fairmin practices hiv,in ma opeenion, contributed tae the pollution o the lan an destruction o habitat fer a puckle birdies an animals.

As far as a can see verra little crap rotation is deen nooadays

A myn on ma faither, nae lang afore he passed awa, sayin he wis gled he wisna stairtin up in fairmin noo as it wis nae langer leukit upon as a wye o life bit mair a business controlled by faceless bunkers, reid tape, an the agri-chemical business.

Noo ma faither did use fertilisers bit he didna like pesticides.

As far as a can see verra little crap rotation is deen nooadays an as a result the grun becums soor an loses its nutrient value hince the reason mair an mair fertilisers hiv tae be used.

Spreadin gweed coo’s shite in its natural form is nae langer a practice widely used. Mair an mair slurry is gyaan on tae the parks an bein in liquid form can leak fae the lan intae ditches an burns an syne intae rivers.

Fairmers hiv ower the past fifty ‘ear pulled up hedgin an knock’t doon dykes tae mak the parks bigger tae accomodate the muckle big tractors an machinery. The hedges an dykes war refuges fer birds an wee beasties.

The loss o roch grassland, loss o mixed fairms, conversion tae arable craps only, an a switch fae spring tae autumn sowin a mak life difficult fer fairmland birds like the teuchat an the laverock.

The bee population is thocht tae be suffrin throwe the use o certin pesticides an yet the fairmers need the bees tae pollenate some o their craps so fit wye div they keep on sprayin? Ae answer is – bigger yields are leukit on as mair important than the birds an the bees.

Noo there is a smatterin o fairmers faa hiv decided tae gyang back tae een or twa o the auld wyes o producin food.There are a helluva lot mair faa need convincin.

A noo cum tae a bit fit wull nae mak me ower popular wi some fowk.

the human population is risin an we need hooses tae accomodate aabody

Reports hiv bin sayin fer ‘ears we are nae able tae feed oorsels in iss kwintra. Nae bliddy wunner, we hap productive lan wi concrete in the form o hoosin and industrial developments an hiv great ribbons o tar criss crossin aawye.

We are telt the human population is risin an we need hooses tae accomodate aabody an fowk need their cars tae get fae A tae B.

Maybe it’s time we aa stairted waakin mair afen an foo aboot bannin bonkin fer a ear or twa? Aat wid fair reduce the need fer sae muckle cars an wid gyang sum wye tae halt a population explosion.

Myn ye, ma suggestion o bannin bonkin micht increase the amunt o wankers gaen aboot.

Tae git back tae bein a bittie mair serious. John Muir, the great Scottish born American naturalist, eence said

The gross heathenism of civilisation has generally destroyed nature and poetry and all that is spiritual”

We maun aa therefor hae a leuk at fit’s gyaan on in the warld an try tae influence the eens in power aat continued economic growth micht pit in jeopardy the future fer oor affspring.

As lang as the warld an his mither ging aboot consumin ower muckle, the Earth suffers.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
May 092013
 

By Bob Smith.

Boxes, boxes, boxes
Is aa we nooadays see
The “darlins” o modern architects
Be it Aiberdeen or Torquay

Thingies like yon Rubik’s Cube
O a Uni Library biggin
Leukin like the pint his run
A think it’s bliddy mingin

Union Square, o michty me
It’s jist aa steel an gless
Oor toon’s in the hauns o Philistines
Creatin a maist affa mess

The city skyline is fair important
Says Aiberdeen mannie Eric Auld
Seen throwe his artistic ee
Marischal Square it leaves him cauld

Fowk noo are fair upset
At fit they see gyaan on
Aa in the guise o progress
In the toon twixt Dee an Don

“Progress is jist the exchange
O ae nuisance fer anither”
So wrote  yon Havelock Ellis
Writer, Doctor an life giver

Boxes are fer storin things
Bit nae the human race
Stop biggins fit are jist bland
Dinna chynge oor city’s face

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image credit: Corporate Tree 2 © Andres Rodriguez | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

May 022013
 

By Bob Smith.

We’ve aa hid a  leukie
At plans fer the “Civic Square”
Tae replace St Nicholas Hoose
Eence it’s aa laid bare
.
Bliddy stracht edged biggins
O the usual gless an steel
Nae flair fae the architects
The concocshuns o some feel
.
Iss is the wye tae go
We hear the planners bleat
Great innovative designs
As modernity we maun meet
.
Fit a load o bliddy crap
We hiv the chunce tae hae
A great open green space
Faar fowk can sit or play
Dinna bigg on the foons
O the concrete St Nic’s Hoose
Mak it intae a fine square
Lit yer imaginations loose
.
Open up the bonnie view
O the hoose o Provost Skene
Wi greenery jist aa aroon
Plunty space tae meet a freen
.
A place tae sit an see
The grandeur o Marischal College
An myn back tae it’s days
As a placie full o knowledge
.
Aiberdonians are fair fed up
O biggins nae bricht an jolly
Especially eens fit micht be ca’ed
The future St Nicholas Hoose folly

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Apr 182013
 

By Bob Smith.

I weel remember sunny days
Doon at aiberdeen beach
Fowk they were aa ower the place
As far as yer een cwid reach
.
There wis faithers in their bunnets
Wi’ troosers rolled up ti their knees
Mithers oot in their sunday best
Grunnies wrappit up agin the breeze
.
I myn the punch an judy shows
The sally army choir and band
Young fowk waakin airm in airm
As tho’ they war on the strand
.
Bairns lickin their ice cream
Or drinkin some lemonade
Bocht fae the inversnecky cafe
Or the washington on the esplanade
.
The inversnecky or the washington
War nae the only twa
faar you cwid buy ither things
Like candy floss or a rubber ba
.
If ye cwid fin a space
Ti sit doon on a rug
Oot wid come a picnic
Fae yer mither’s leather bug
.
Kites war flown up in the sky
Some wi bonnie paper tails
Sometimes een wid be let go
Fit brocht on affa wails
Then doon in past the carnival
Ti hae a shottie at hoop-la
Or maybe rollin the pennies
Wid win ye back een or twa
.
The dodgem cars i likit fine
The waltzers made ma queasy
At the various shootin galleries
My faither found winnin easy
.
I enjoyed the helter skelter
Faar ye slid doon on yer doup
Sometimes ye went aat faist
Yer hairt it gied a loup
.
There  wis boxin booths as weel
Faar young chiels hid a few goes
At  tacklin maybe a roon or twa
Wi lads fa were aul pros
.
Usually they nivver lasted lang
Bloody noses wis aa they got
But if they went the distance
A poond or so it wis their lot
.
At the end o a perfect day
Efter rinnin aboot on the sand
A  pokie o chips wis jist fine
Wi a mealie puddin in yer hand
.
.
.
©Bob Smith 9/3/2009
Image Credit: Pete Thomson
  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Apr 182013
 

By Bob Smith.

A wis brocht up tae believe gweed menners wis a necessary social skill.

Onybody faa displayed ony kine o bad menners wis leukit on as a social pariah. Ye war learn’t bi yer mither an faither an teachers aboot sic things so a ayewis thocht fowk faa war lackin in the skills o gweed menners hidna bin brocht up richt. Nooadays a think it still is a bittie doon tae parents bit it’s  maybe a society thingie as weel.

There are still a lot o weel mennered fowk gyaan aboot bit the increase in ill-mennered cyaards is een o society’s curses

Noo yer hardly likely tae mak a gweed impression if yer rude an abrasive,an ye see plenty o iss type o cairry on in TV programmes. Fer instance TV an radio interviewers askin somebody a question an then interruptin afore the bodie bein askit the question feenishes answerin. TV soaps faar scraichin, bawlin an insultin fowk wid appear tae be the norm.

Nae wunner fowk are becumin mair ill-mennered. We hear aboot fit they ca “road rage”. Iss is jist anither name fer bad menners fin ahint the wheel o a motor vehicle.  Stickin the finger up an yellin obscenities jist cos some craitur micht be huddin fowk up is mair an mair noticeable. Cairryin o a blether or haein their mobile switched on at the picters or the theatre is anither example o modern day ill-mennered tykes.

A’ll tak ye back aroon 50/60 ear ago tae a time fan gweed menners wis jist expectit o fowk.

Fin ye wis oot on a date wi a quine ye aye waakit on the street side o the pavement. Iss gings back ti the days fin gentlemen protectit their weemin fae the perils o the road an the gutter. A still git a richt glower fae the wife if a forget tae dee iss.

Ye aye held the doors open fer fowk faa war ahint ye tae waak throwe an ye aye got a thunk ye fer deein so. An ye sure as hell lessened the chunce o anither date if ye didna staun up an hud yer quine’s coat fer her tae pit oan if yer war oot fer a cup o coffee in a cafe or a restaurant (ye only took quines oot fer a meal if ye war “gyaan steady” cos wi wages bein fit they war back then, ye cwidna affoord tae dee iss verra afen).

Fin ye took a quine tae the picters ye aye pyed fer baith seats. A chiel wid hae bin black affrontit if the quine hid offered tae “gyang dutch”, an ye nivver refused a ladies’ choice at the duncin even if the quine wisna tae yer taste. It wid hae bin leukit on as bein the hicht o bad menners.

Iss applied tae baith sexes bit a quine cwid refuse tae dunce wi a chiel if he wis the warse fer weer wi booze.

Mannies an loons ayewis got up tae gie somebody o mair mature ‘ ears or the opposite sex a seat on the bus if it wis staanin room only. Sweirin in front o weemin wis a thing  ye verra rarely heard. Nooadays it’s maistly the weemin faa dee the sweirin.

As a said at the beginnin o aa iss there are still some fowk faa display gweed menners bit they’re gettin a bittie thinner on the grun.  A div like the followin quote “Treat fowk as ye wid like tae be treated. Karma’s only a bitch if you are”  TV an radio interviewers please tak note.

O aye, an espeecially you as weel Mr Trump.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Apr 052013
 

By Bob Smith.

A problem in rural Scotia
The scourge o modern day
Fan fowk faa hiv the money
Buy second hooses faar tae stay
.
Noo some young eens in the kwintraside
Leave skweel an wint tae bide
An gyaang tae wark near tae hame
Be it Skite or Deveronside
.
Bonnie hooses in rural villages
Snappit up bi fowk fae toons
Tae spend a wikk eyn or holidays
Oot-buyin local quines an loons
.
Holiday hames they are ca’ed
Faar ainers dinna bide at aa
Bit rint them oot tae tourists
Is iss nae bliddy eese ava
The young eens are the future
O the wee villages an toons
They’re haein tae leave the area
Cos o “second hame” bliddy goons
.
A hoose can be left empty
Fer wikks upon a time
Only bidden in noo an agin
Jist unused steen an lime
.
Holiday hames help oot tourism
Some fowk they div decree
Bit withoot a local population
The villages wull seen dee
.
.
.
.
© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013