Jul 202011
 

 By Gordon Casely.

Where will you be in July? I hope to be at the Harlaw Monument on Sunday, 24 July 2011, to recall the 600th anniversary of one of Scotland’s more important encounters.
Essentially the battle was a contest between a Macdonald and a Stewart over an earldom far away from each. The day-long battle was fought two miles west of Inverurie, somewhere north-west from the monument. Yet the way in which Harlaw altered Scotland’s cultural imprint is recognisable to this day.

As a battle however, Harlaw was indecisive. Both sides fought each other to a standstill, bloody and unbowed, and each claimed victory. But under cover of darkness on that warm July evening six centuries ago, both sides retreated.

“Reid Harlaw” and “the sair field o Harlaw” are thoroughly represented in ballad, song, story and legend. Good modern accounts are contained in such books as Peter Marren’s Grampian Battlefields and Raymond Campbell Paterson’s The Lords of the Isles. Lt-General Sir Peter Graham, one-time CO of the Gordons and latterly GOC Scotland, gives a splendid presentation from a military standpoint, describing the forces and the terrain, measuring their qualities, and relating how the command structures might have operated.

The impression Sir Peter conveys is of a hand-to-hand battle that became increasingly desperate as the day wore, on, each side becoming more and more tired, each increasingly weary army hurling bodies at the other, looking for the tiniest advantage to turn the tide. Finally, with one final heave, the forces of one caused the other to step back. But the apparent victors no longer possessed the strength either to deliver the killer blow, or to undertake wholesale pursuit.

The prize of the earldom of Ross created the battle, and in the struggle over power and land, Donald, Lord of the Isles and Alexander Stewart, Earl of Mar, emerged as champions of each side. Whoever controlled Ross, territory stretching from Inverness to Skye, controlled northern Scotland, and held a considerable key in manipulating the rest of Scotland down to the Tay.

On one side was Alexander Stewart, thuggish son of the highly unpleasant Wolf of Badenoch, who gained the earldom of Mar through the murder of the incumbent earl, then forcibly marrying his widow. On the other was Donald, 2nd Lord of the Isles, head of what was a maritime kingdom almost in its own right, and whose forces had by now entered the lands of Ross.

If the intended conquest of Ross was to be made secure, then Donald would have to take out Mar’s forces by a pre-emptive strike. Thus did Harlaw occur.

Ensuing centuries create a David-and-Goliath picture – the chivalrous Stewart, noble Earl of Mar, against the wicked Donald of the Isles. Mar is aided only by minor levies from Aberdeenshire, the Mearns and Angus plus gallant burghers of Aberdeen under Provost Robert Davidson, while the scheming Donald heads 10,000 rapacious caterans. A spin-doctoral touch ensures that the event goes down in history as Highlander versus Lowlander.

the actuality is that he headed some three dozen merchants anxious to protect their business investments.

A glance at the cultural composition of the armies indicates that beyond a small professional core in each, both sides were made up of loons and callants whose commitment to campaign did not extend beyond getting the harvest in. The actual battle possessed neither subtlety nor tactics, with military strategy such as it was confined to a series of heroic encounters.

If the event was portrayed as “Highlander against Lowlander”, then it was mis-cast in the same way as the Jacobite Risings are. There were folk of each persuasion on each side. Mar’s army would have contained a plethora of Gaelic speakers, while the educated in Donald’s forces would have spoken the same languages as Mar’s chief officers.

Among the casualties were Hector Maclean of Duart, Sir Alexander Irvine of Drum and Provost Davidson of Aberdeen. Davidson’s name is the product of more legend. Legend has it that he rode out from Aberdeen heading “a citizen army”; the actuality is that he headed some three dozen merchants anxious to protect their business investments.

The inscription carved by the architect Dr William Kelly on the Harlaw monument refers to “…Davidson and the [36] Burgesses of Aberdeen who fell [at Harlaw]….”. In the great hall of Trinity Hall in Aberdeen are displayed the remains of two banners said to have been carried by members of the Weavers at Harlaw, along with the provost’s sword.

Under his direction, a relic of Harlaw survives to this day

Yet it’s worth asking the question: what would have happened if the pyrrhic victory of the Lord of the Isles had been transformed into actual conquest? What would have been achieved by Highlanders rampaging south from Aberdeen to the Tay? How much of today’s lost Celtic culture would have been restored? And how?

Any answer would have depended on Donald’s Highlanders and Islesmen becoming true regular soldiers, enforcing a conquest, using their talents as an army of occupation to rebuild the countryside in the mould they envisaged, and where Gaelic displaced Scots as the lingua franca. Compare the picture as occurred under the Allies in post-war Europe, and where history has been written by the victors.

Instead, the withdrawal of Donald’s influence in central and eastern Scotland began the gnawing at the strength of the Lordship of the Isles and the natural authority exerted through the clan system. Slowly the wane of each began. The Lordship of the Isles was forfeited in 1493, with the title surviving to be borne by the eldest son of the monarch, as Prince Charles holds now. In Harlaw began the inexorable downfall of the clan system that was dealt a mortal blow at Culloden three centuries later.

Meanwhile, post-Harlaw Aberdeen reacted swiftly to prevent the city ever being threatened again. In 1412, the safekeeping of the town was placed in the hands of……Alexander Stewart, Earl of Mar, who for the next 23 years became Captain and Governor of Aberdeen. Under his direction, a relic of Harlaw survives to this day, for his magistrates quartered the city into municipal wards. From these first four divisions came the electoral wards of today. Harlaw today lives on in balladry, pipe tunes, street names, a school, a room in Aberdeen Town House and as the monicker of a council works depot.

his body was borne back to Aberdeen to be given an hon­oured burial in the Kirk of St Nicholas.

Harlaw changed for ever the cultural and linguistic face of Scotland. It showed that the power of the Lordship of the Isles was no longer invincible; it proved the start of the end for the clan system; and it gave impetus for the Scots and English languages to prosper at the expense of Gaelic.

 

Who was Robert Davidson?

 

Robert Davidson has become something of a cult figure down the years, the only civic head of Aberdeen ever to lead the citizenry into battle, and who six centuries after his death is still revered as a hero.

Yet what do we really know of him? Flora Davidson and Nick Hide, researchers to Clan Davidson, state firmly that he was “a wealthy merchant, an innkeeper, wine importer, customs inspector, provost and pirate”, going on to point out that after the dreadful confrontation, his body was borne back to Aberdeen to be given an honoured burial in the Kirk of St Nicholas.

But there remain puzzles about Davidson the man. His colourful career carries respectability as a merchant, but hardly to the level where he would merit a knighthood. Yet on the ceiling of the St Nicholas Room in the Town House of Aberdeen, he is portrayed as “Sir R Davidson”, with a coat-of-arms best described as putative rather than actually belonging to him.

Equally, there is dubiety whether he was provost at the time of Harlaw. According to data of Clan Davidson, he was provost in 1408.

So where is proof of Davidson’s greatness? My guess is that the answer lies in two points: the first is that he was interred in the Mither Kirk, a resting place reserved only for our most revered citizens. The second is that folk memory, a powerful tool in history, maintains a legend that would be very difficult to disprove.

The bottom line is: why would we want to disprove it anyway? What a magnificent story to relate down the centuries – how a hero provost placed himself at the head of an armed contingent and gave his life in defence of the town he led and loved. Here is a role model readied to be copied by anyone today.

Contributed by Gordon Casely.

 

Jun 102011
 

From time to time, CDs released by artists from the local area well worth a listen. Our David Innes contributes regularly to R2, a publication we like and recommend. The editor, Sean McGhee, all-round good guy and punctuation expert, has kindly agreed to allow Voice to reprint two reviews of local interest from the latest R2, dated May/June 2011. More on R2 here
http://www.rock-n-reel.co.uk

First up, The Moonzie Allstars, from somewhere near Brechin, it seems, with ‘Hypnagocic’ (SKELPAIG MUSIC) www.moonzieallstars.com.
Moonzies’ pipes and whistles man David Adam claims Hypnagogic is, “a bit schizophrenic, but there might be something for everyone”, and he’s right.


The opening ‘Hypophant’ is structurally and tonally African, but the pipes add a Celtic element to both feel and melody.

Hotfoot behind is ‘Hey Mr Bongo’, the Moonzies again raiding the dark continent’s melodic and rhythmic jauntiness, but with its Caledonian tongue firmly in cheek as deadpan raffle announcements and appallingly obvious rhymes show what happens, as Adam says, “when you let the drummer loose with guitar and mic”.

Hypnagogic has gone some way to curing me of my fusion aversion. Despite my addiction to genre-defying southern soul stews, country-gospel or other labels applied to those delicious Tennessee grooves, less natural, ‘manufactured fusions’ have always left me suspicious. I’m sure Bitches Brew is to blame because it isn’t Kind of Blue.

The musicianship is outstanding and the production flawless. Overt Eastern and jazz influences bubble up and vie for space with potential movie scores; there are delights galore in the more traditional Celtic vein. If that’s a Frank Zappa t-shirt being proudly worn by an Allstar on the sleeve, he’d have approved, I’m certain.

From the Hebrides, but becoming well-known around the city, ‘Shoebox Memories’ (SELF-RELEASED) www.arkpr.com is Fiona Mackenzie’s impressive debut effort…

 On paper sometimes, there are collaborations that one would expect not to work too well. That was my initial thought about Shoebox Memories when I read its background press release.

In NE Scotland, guitarist Graeme ‘Bug’ Stephen is a revered jazz guitarist. Fiona ‘Bosie’ Mackenzie is not yet as well-known, but given her Hebridean background, it is easy, not to mention lazy, to categorise her immediately as a Celtic artist. Not so, and for making that assumption, I apologise.

Shoebox Memories works, and it works because Mackenzie has taken a range of influences to craft songs which are pleasingly unclassifiable and sung in her own way, with fleeting nods to Eddi Reader and Suzanne Vega.

It works also because, as Fiona notes on the sleeve, the musicians have “breathed life into my wee songs”, none more so than Stephen who gives a masterclass in understated chromatic accompaniment and subtle soloing, never better illustrated than in the guitar/strings interplay on ‘In Your Hands’ and ‘Dress Me Up In Blue’.

Offering thirteen tracks, Shoebox Memories may be on the long side, but credited to Bosie (a hug in the local patois), it is akin to being enclosed in a warm, comforting melodic cuddle.

© The foregoing reviews are copyright R2 May/June 2011. Thanks again to Sean for allowing us to use them.

 

May 202011
 

Voice’s Old Susannah casts her eye over recent events, stories, and terms and phrases familiar as well as freshly ‘spun’, which will be forever etched in the consciousness of the people of Aberdeen and the Northeast.

With a tear in my eye I bid farewell to ex councillor Scott Cassie; he’s been sent down for a year.  No, not for the moustache, hair and other crimes against fashion, but for years of borrowing your money and mine at very favourable terms.  Over the years a large (but unknown) sum of or money has disappeared into a black hole and appears to have benefitted Mr Cassie.  As clever as they usually are about money, none of his Lib Dem political party mates knew anything about the missing money, even though it was going on for some 10 years.

My favourite bit of this tale is about an alleged forgery.

It seems someone faked the signature of an ex Garthdee Community Councillor on some accounts involved in the scams. The fact the woman whose signature was seemingly forged was partially blind, over 70, and no longer involved with the council were no barrier to the intelligence of the thief or thieves who thought they’d sign her name.
A year in jail for Cassie – but will there be an investigation leading to others going down? This would probably just be a waste of taxpayer money (and we can’t have that); his lovely wife was cleared of knowing anything at all. Which is obviously true, say her former friends.

It would not be fair to expect our Council to figure out things any faster than they did. After all, there was the £50 million hole in the City’s finances to deal with for one thing. Then more recently we had an enterprising social worker who decided she needed lots of goods for herself, and there is the council employee who has made off with a five-figure sum. Just because the thefts weren’t picked up over the past several years is no reason to think Cassie wasn’t on his own in the crimes.

It was very noble of him to become an independent councillor so as not to tarnish the good name of his former political party – which like everyone else didn’t know anything was going on.  Obviously he had no intention of standing down – there was a street named after him, and all those people who needed his help.  And of course there was the money.  The way he continued to vote on important measures while siphoning funds shows a kind of dedication that few possess.

The fact that he often voted the same way as his former party the Lib Dems wanted just shows he had true conviction back then, just like the conviction he definitely has now. But don’t lose any sleep – we still have enough money to clean buildings and erect statues.   With time off for good behaviour and his great character, he’ll probably be back in his local this time next week.

Justice has come to two other people this week. First fox-hunting golfer Donald Forbes has finally been fined £750 for battering a wild, savage, giant, dangerous fox with a golf club.

As well as looking for a new place to play golf, Forbes might need a new job, since he is clearly rather confused and forgetful. First he told people he’d clubbed the fox. Then he said he didn’t. Then he said he told the fox to leave his golf bag alone but the fox didn’t respond (very rude fox).

Then the fox was transformed in his story into some kind of sabre-toothed tiger giant killer which he thought was going to kill him. Then he might have hit the fox. If he can’t remember whether or not he inflicted the life-threatening beast with life-threatening injuries, perhaps he’s too confused to continue in whatever job he has?

And spare a thought for child-battering Cove apprentice Matthew Brown.

Brown, 20 decided to head-butt a 12 year old boy some months back for daring to wear a Celtic strip in public. Brown will do community service and pay a fine, and is banned from his club. His barrister said that Brown’s actions already had consequences. I’d never realised actions had consequences before this, and have made a note for future reference.

Anyway, time for a quick definition before I get my picnic hamper out for the Tullos Hill picnic this Sunday at 3pm – see you there I hope. We will be trying to see wildflowers and wildlife – or was that wildfires?
https://aberdeenvoice.com/2011/05/tullos-hill-ablaze/

Either way, Tullos Hill provides an iconic, vibrant civic heart in the countryside. However, it would be better if it had walk-on/walk-off access from all sides, and the unsightly Wellington Road were covered over, too. Perhaps we could have a coffee shop and some parking to go with the unwanted 40,000 trees?

We are supposed to think the trees will spell the end for the decades of arson that have flourished on the hill. If nothing else, the trees will spell the end for the orchids, deer and other wildlife that have flourished on the hill. Thank you Ms Malone. And don’t worry – just because you are ramming this tree scheme down everyone’s throat, no one will ever hold you accountable for any future forest fires or the destruction of the creatures which live there now; most of which don’t even pay tax. If the arsonists are at work I’m ready – I’ve bought lots of marshmallows to toast.

Denial

noun 1. A river near de pyramids.
noun 2. a mental state characterised by refusal to accept facts. A childlike inability to accept a particular truth or truths.

Perhaps a few examples of denial will help clarify the word’s meaning. Councillor Aileen Malone is in denial over her scheme to kill a deer for every citizen – sorry – plant a tree for every citizen.   She thinks only a cull will do – and she thinks the trees must be planted.

A few thousand people might be against her; the local community councils are outraged – but she knows best.  She recently told one of the local newspapers the cull would just go ahead and things would quiet down. Sounds like denial to Old Susannah. I was there at the Committee meeting trying to speak; so was a representative of Nigg Community Council.

HoMalone led the refusal to allow speakers to address the committee; she reminded me of a child putting its hands over its ears and singing when being told something it didn’t like. Malone told the press that the committee:

“…hopes we can now get on with the scheme to plant a tree for every citizen, which we are desperate to do.”

She may be a desperate creature indeed, but who exactly is really, really desperate to plant these trees? Is anyone in St Nicholas House just as desperate say to improve the schools, services, roads, care homes, run-down properties which this city has in spades? Apparently not. Malone’s got her mantra ‘a tree for every citizen’ and nothing will stop it – not common sense, not fair play, not democracy, not openness, not arsonists, and certainly not community councils or deer. Got to admire her strength of will if not strength of character.

Another textbook example of denial comes from me, I am sorry to say.

The PR team backing the Malcolm Read Union Terrace Gardens scheme wants me to admit that they are right and the Friends of Union Terrace Gardens and I are wrong – well, about everything. I wrote to a Ms Zoe Corsi for information – I wrongly believed the majority wanted the gardens left alone, and I expressed concern over wildlife, and how Peacock had been treated.

She wrote back to correct my obvious error over the popularity of plans to raise the gardens.

It must be denial on my part, because I thought the majority of people in Aberdeen wanted the gardens left alone. Obviously such people just aren’t clever enough to see how wonderful a shopping mall, international cafe and car parking will be – probably because we have no experience of these treasures. I even think the whole scheme is just a land-grab by the rich of a city centre real estate opportunity, so obviously my judgment is well off.

Anyway, I thought that since over 700 people objected to changing UTG in the recent local plan consultation (ugh – that word ‘consultation’ again) and less than 10 people wrote in wanting the gardens filled in that this indicated some kind of majority against the scheme. I also thought the initial consultation was flawed – but it still showed people want the gardens to stay as they are. Ms Corsi’s attempt to straighten my flawed thinking out includes the following:-

“Firstly, it is incorrect to say that the majority of Aberdeen residents want the gardens left as they are. We are aware that friends of Union Terrace Gardens want to retain the gardens in their current form but we are also aware of the widespread support for the project.

“The consultation carried out in early 2009 revealed that just under 50% of the 11,000 who participated – less than 10% of the population – were very much for the project and of those who were opposed to it, largely based on erroneous information, the majority indicated they wanted change and felt the gardens were inaccessible and under-used”

You see – my understanding is ‘erroneous information’, and her information is correct. For those of you who like me think the gardens should stay as they are – accept it: we are wrong, and we are in denial. Should I send her an apology?

Quiz results:- ( from last week )

Question 1: Billionaire Sir Ian Wood had his photo in the Evening Express this week on the occasion of having been put on the UK’s rich list.  He posed in front of a verdant green background ablaze with red flowers, against a dramatic Aberdeen city centre skyline.  Where was this eyesore, and what should become of it?

Answer: the eyesore Wood was in front of Union Terrace Gardens.  He may need some cosmetic work done – but the gardens should be left alone.

Question 2: Match the cartoon character in Aberdeen with their fictional counterpart
Reasons of space prevent me from giving the answers – which you all got right anyway.

Question 3: What percentage of £50,000,000 (the sum Sir Ian promises for his Union Terrace Garden parking lot) would £225,000 (the sum demanded not to shoot the Tullos Hill Roe deer) represent?

Answer: d.  0.5% (approx)

At the time of writing, none of our altruistic millionaires or billionaires have done anything to help.  One is probably busy putting most of his employees offshore to avoid paying UK tax, and the other notable figure that springs to mind is busy on a court case where he is seemingly trying to pay money to Aberdeen City over a land deal.

Question 4: Which is an endangered species:  The Tullos Hill Roe Deer or the Liberal Democrats, which were so badly wounded in the recent election.  Deer, Dems – or both?

Answer: The Roe Deer at least  have thousands of people who want to help them – the LibDems certainly have nothing like that.  We may see the end of this species yet.

Question 5:

(a) Tiebreaker (answer question of your choice):  How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answers included:

‘that’s not funny’,

‘we don’t have enough money to change any lightbulbs’,

‘depends what David Cameron says’ – and a few other answers which are not fit for publication – but are very funny indeed.

(b) Why did the LibDem cross the road?

Answers included:

‘they were just moving to the right’,

‘they saw a mob of taxpayers and legged it’ – and again other responses not fit for a family publication.

 

The winner of the competition has asked to remain anonymous – they are connected to the Council, and reading the Aberdeen Voice is a no-no.  But our Brewdog appointment is set.

Next week:  more definitions and some updates…

 

May 122011
 

By Bob Smith.

I hiv a dream
Said yon Martin Luther King
I ti hiv a dream
Some happiness for ti bring

I hiv a dream
The toon centre’s free o cars
I hiv a dream
Acsef are sent ti Mars

I hiv a dream
Ti banish aa poverty
I hiv a dream
Fae “money men” we’re aa free

I hiv a dream
We’ve nae bond wi drugs an booze
I hiv a dream
Rangers an Celtic aywis lose

I hiv a dream
Oor toon’s clean an bricht
I hiv a dream
The granite’s gien a dicht

I hiv a dream
Stop worshipin at the “money”altar
I hiv a dream
Multi Nationals start ti falter

I hiv a dream
Dinna listen ti Donald’s bling
I hiv a dream

Menie faimilies start ti sing

I hiv a dream
UTG’s left aleen as weel
I hiv a dream
Oor cooncil is less feel

I hiv a dream
Fowk see sense unfurled
I hiv a dream
We aa bide in a better warld

I hiv a dream
P&J’s nae langer the Trump Gazette
I hiv a dream
An impartial view ye’ll get

I hiv a dream
The sma shoppie it survives
I hiv a dream
Supermarkets nae langer thrive

I hiv a dream
Dons win a European Cup
I hiv iss dream
Syne I waaken up

I hiv a dream
We aa live in peace
I hiv a dream
Iss wid be some eese

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2010

 

May 052011
 

Voice’s  David Innes pays tribute to a true football legend.

Mere words are difficult to fashion into any sort of coherence to describe the gratitude those of us of a certain age feel for Eddie Turnbull, who roared into sleepy, plodding Pittodrie in 1965 and gave Aberdeen fans their pride back.

I had the pleasure of meeting him fourteen years ago, and the afternoon I spent with him in the Barnton Thistle Hotel I still regard as three of the best hours of my life.

He was 74 then, frail after a lung operation and tiny in frame. Not so in personality, neither in enthusiasm and passion for the game which was his obsession. Twenty six years after he’d left Pittodrie having just failed to win the league title with the Dons, he still retained great affection for the club and his recollections when probed by me on trainspotterly specifics of the 1967 USA tour were as clear as the water with which he would later dilute the bottle of 12 year old Glenlivet gifted him as a token of my gratitude and respect.

From 1965 to 1971, this “wee mannie frae Falkirk” as he described himself, revolutionised Aberdeen FC.

That is not too strong a verb. His first result, beating Rangers 2-0, endeared him to the fans. His new-broom coaching methods and legendary fierce discipline earned him the respect of the players and his iron will even had the club’s directors wondering if they’d perhaps have preferred a yes man in charge, for he wasn’t that.

Having endured the perils and hardships of serving in the North Atlantic merchant fleet running cargo to Murmansk during the Second World War in the face of fascist bombs and torpedoes, a few local businessmen in suits and trilbies were hardly going to frighten Eddie Turnbull.

None ever refers to him as “Eddie”. He was, and is “Boss”. That’s respect, but it’s also affection.

The 1970 Scottish Cup win was his most tangible achievement and the following season’s thrilling title chase was proof that the squad he had patiently assembled was equal to Celtic’s which had reached the European Cup final the season before.

Many of us of that vintage, who marvelled at the coolness of Martin Buchan, the energy of Davie Robb, the sniper-like predatory accuracy of Joe Harper and the guile of Steve Murray remain convinced that had the manager not returned to his beloved Hibs, the title would have been won in 1971-72 and sustained success would have been ours a decade before Fergie took us to previously-unimaginable heights.

The Hibs team he built in the early 1970s played beautiful football and it is surprising that 1972’s League Cup was their only trophy success. A major regret, he told me, was that Hibs did not beat Aberdeen to European success a decade before Gothenburg, succumbing tamely on reaching the quarter final of the European Cup-Winners Cup.

“They didn’t want it enough”, was his opinion.

He left Hibs in 1980 and was lost to club football – a huge oversight given the state that it’s now in and considering the foresight he might have brought to it. Yet, he said that the greatest pleasure he derived from football was seeing young men make their way in the world, helping them develop their innate talent and seeing them and their families thrive and prosper.

Although he was a hard man, this was an indication of the standards that he set and which he bred into those who shared his fitba vision and passion.  I still have regular contact with some of his Pittodrie players. None ever refers to him as “Eddie”. He was, and is “Boss”. That’s respect, but it’s also affection.

Not only have the Dons and Hibs lost a legend – that’s a TRUE legend, look up its definition – the football world at large has lost an innovator, a tactical genius and above all, a passionate advocate for all that was good and artistic in the game.

I thought he would live forever and I suppose for those of us with memories of his Aberdeen teams from 1965-71, he will.

Sleep easy Boss, you’ve earned it.

Apr 292011
 


By Fred Wilkinson with thanks to The REAL SPL.

For my sins, I am football fan and a diehard Dandy, but for many reasons, not withstanding the demands of my role in producing Aberdeen Voice, I am unable to attend games as often as I would like.

Instead, I indulge in animated, all too often loud, heated conversation with the radio, and very occasionally the telly, sure in my mind at the time that all on the park and on the touchline can hear me, and would do well to listen.

Often in desperate attempts to influence the fortunes of my once all conquering home team, I find myself deliberately facing the general direction of the match venue.

So from my position close to the radio, Pittodrie is the pasta cupboard, Easter Road is a chimney viewed from the window, and Ibrox is the pots and pans shelf… you get the gist. Ineffective, bizarre and utterly futile certainly, but at least I demonstrate huge commitment and effort; very much like Darren Mackie – minus the red boots and the lucrative contract.

I miss out on the sharing of views, the wisecracks and the banter I have come to expect from being there in person as a good game progresses. But all is not lost, there is enough room next to the radio for a laptop logged on to the Aberdeen-Mad fans forum where a range of views and arguments are exchanged before, during, after and in between games. From informed to infuriating, well measured to well mad, bouquets and brickbats, outrageous on occasion but always entertaining and often unbelievably hilarious. I am hooked.

Many fans fear that the Old Firm are slowly but surely strangling the game in Scotland

It was on said forum that I came across a newly formed campaign group who go by the name ‘The REAL SPL’. I found their philosophy rather refreshing, and their ambitions worthy of comment and a degree of respect.

I was compelled to find out more from their freshly constructed website.

The REAL SPL plan to run and publish a virtual league in parallel with the SPL from seasons 2011/12 onwards. They will allocate points on the same basis as the SPL for games played but no points will be awarded when a team plays one of the Old Firm.

The team with the most points will then be declared Champions of The REAL SPL and there are plans to purchase a REAL trophy to be awarded to the winners.

It appears this initiative is an attempt to bring back the interest and excitement to fans who have become disillusioned with the SPL mainly as the result of the Old Firm’s disproportionate influence on all aspects of the Scottish game. Aspects ranging from league construction, financial distribution to television contracts, and particularly of late and more importantly, the public image of Scottish Football as a whole. This extends to their influence with the football authorities, commercial rights and revenue generation.

Many fans fear that the Old Firm are slowly but surely strangling the game in Scotland, and if action is not taken there will be even more severe repercussions in years to come.

To reflect on my own ‘virtual game’ in the setting of my kitchen as described above, could this idea not be viewed as equally ‘Ineffective, bizarre and utterly futile’? – Apparently not.

Already, the idea has captured the collective imagination of followers to the point that many fans are pledging to stay away from old firm games, but rather than rob the game of money, will attend more games involving other teams or ensure the money they save will go to their club in other ways: ways in which the old firm cannot lay claim to a share.

“The number of fans going to games in Scotland is falling year on year. There are many reasons for this but we believe that an uncompetitive league is one of the most important.”

Few would argue that the Scottish game, as with my beloved, yet sadly underachieving Dandies could do with a ‘leggie up’, but one worries that an idea, however well meaning and potentially beneficial cannot inspire change without a significant level of public support. So I ask, what are the indications that a significant level of public support exists?

“We ran a poll for two days, when we started the site, to find out whether people agreed with our aims. In this time, we had over 1,200 people complete the poll with a 95% approval rating for The Real SPL”

The site itself recorded an impressive 115,000 hits in its first two days in operation – An excellent start indeed, and it is only a start.

I believe the REAL SPL may have more far reaching ambitions. Perhaps to become more than simply a virtual league and a snub to the old firm, and possibly develop a strong platform for REAL football fans to air their views on how our game should evolve. Perhaps to initiate campaigns for specific changes free of the selfish business interests of the ‘Big Two’.

“The fans want a competitive, exciting and ambitious league and we have come to the conclusion that it’s time for a change. We are excited by the challenge of bringing interest in football back to the fans who may not have attended a game in a while.”

You can offer your support for The REAL SPL by visiting their website, or contributing to discussions on Aberdeen-Mad. You may also wish to join their group page on Facebook.

“One of the things we are looking to do is get more Facebook fans than the SPL. They have around 13,500 and we have 500… Its a tall order I know but it will demonstrate the backing that we have for a more competitive league”

Apr 222011
 

Voice’s Old Susannah casts her eye over recent events, stories, and terms and phrases familiar as well as freshly ‘spun’, which will be forever etched in the consciousness of the people of Aberdeen and the Northeast.

There have been a fair share of animal cruelty stories in the last few months; Donald Forbes will soon have is day in Court (looks like 16th May at Aberdeen Sheriff Court – if you’re free, do stop in and wish him well).  But there are some other charming people who deserve a mention this week.

Picture this:  you are frail, in your 80s, and a youngish girl has been sent as your carer.  Just hope it isn’t Kirsty Rae, a home carer for Aberdeenshire Council.  She has been caught apparently stealing hundreds of pounds from elderly, vulnerable older women – one believed to be 89 years old. It is a crime how little money our oldest residents are expected to live on to start with – but can you imagine the stress for these women – thinking you had lost your money – and worrying if you were losing your senses?

Allegedly Ms Rae has previous form – she is one to watch in future – actually just watch your older relatives and your wallets if she is within a few hundred yards.

No doubt she has a problem, maybe had a tough childhood, money problems or some other reason we should all feel really sorry for her – and no doubt has reasons why she should not get a custodial sentence.  As for me, I will reserve my sympathy for the robbed women – who have lived through World War II, probably worked hard and scrimped and saved all their lives.

Nice one Kirsty.

My second man to watch in the news is the Aberdeen Football Club fan who apparently head-butted a 12-year-old boy.

The boy was asking for it – he had the nerve to be wearing a Celtic jersey AND was in a shopping centre – with his parents.  Matthew Brown is thought to be pleading to avoid a football ban – he had been drinking you see.  I guess that makes it all right.

The little boy will obviously be very apprehensive and intimidated for some time to come, and was nauseous and ill after the vicious attack.  But hey, Matt probably won’t do it again.  Unless he has been drinking.  Matt – it is only a game, and not an excuse to attack children who choose a different team than yours.  No need to get the younger generation involved in any of your personal gripes.  Deal?

There is of course no reason why a party would want to stick to the usually generous promises it makes in a manifesto

On a happier note, spring is in the air (well, the haar is pretty thick anyway), and election fever is gripping the City and Shire.  In the pubs and clubs the talk is all around the AV  – Alternative Voting system referendum, and with the exciting leaflets flooding through the letterboxes explaining how honest, gifted and wonderful each candidate is, it is all anyone is thinking about.

Is the suspense getting to you?  I would love to hear your thoughts on this exciting election looming for the 5th May.  But what does it all mean?  What will it mean for the Country?  For our great democratic, unified City?  Perhaps looking at some of the terms in depth will help.

Manifesto: (Noun) Work of fiction used to deceive; usually deliberately written to be so long and tedious that anyone who tries reading one will utterly forget their own name, let alone remember the manifesto’s economic policy on EU agricultural subsidies or educational targets.

A party just isn’t a party without a good manifesto; the manifesto gets to have its own  ‘launch’ party at which the press stifle yawns and try to think of interesting questions on a document that is ultimately as exciting as a telephone directory – only a lot less believable.  There is of course no reason why a party would want to stick to the usually generous promises it makes in a manifesto.

Some parties – for some reason Liberal Democrats in the last prime ministerial elections come to mind – promise the world.  Free education for all, ice cream for everybody, and two cars in each garage.

I know – perhaps we can have a consultation on this:  maybe the public can be given a choice of route options

They then find themselves with a tiny bit of power, and needing to have a slice of the pie, they fold like a cheap suit and do as they are told by the more powerful party (for some reason I think of the Tories).  If your manifesto promises no tuition fees, there is some possibility that one or two of the voters will notice if you are a bit less than good to your word.  But then again, it is not as if they can do anything about it.

I’ve had a look at the 89 page Liberal Democrat Manifesto, and see that they intend to deliver something called the Aberdeen Western Peripheral Route; this pledge is filed under the phrase ‘for efficiency’.  I know – perhaps we can have a consultation on this:  maybe the public can be given a choice of route options and vote on the matter after some road shows.

Old Susannah is getting old and her memory is going, because I mistakenly remember sitting at an ‘Aberdeen Civic Forum’ meeting in the town hall, where NESTRANS promised that the route would be finished in 2012.  Maybe I got that wrong:  perhaps it is the LibDems that will be finished.

But there is good news:  The LibDems care about wildlife:  From the manifesto:

“The nation’s farmers are also stewards of the countryside, playing a key role in protecting Scotland’s wildlife and habitats”.

Presumably, with the  exception of inconvenient deer.

Polling Station: (Noun) A place where, if you are lucky enough to find it, you will be given a numbered piece of paper, have your name written on a numbered sheet of voters names – and then be told that your vote is totally anonymous.

You will have a choice of parties to vote for – Raving Monster Looney party being amongst the more conservative and long lasting of them.

You will wonder if you are looking at photographs of fashion models and movie stars at first

It is the 21st century and we are a technologically advanced society.  This is why we are voting using pieces of paper which are stuffed into a wooden box, then later taken to a larger counting area and people hand-count the votes for hours into the night and the next morning.

Mistakes are never made, and no one ever counts incorrectly.  You might think that an electronic voting system would be a good idea, but there is something to be said for this method.  I’m just too polite to say it.

I said it can be difficult to find your polling station – particularly as some 14,000 Aberdeen residents received their polling cards telling them where to go to vote:  to a school that had been closed down some months before.  To be fair to the Council, it would be awfully hard to keep track of all the schools we’ve closed, and you cannot be expected to check all the fine details when you print a couple of thousand polling cards.

Flyer: (noun) Printed page delivering short, factual, truthful messages. The means by which political parties remind you of all the good they have done and will do.

The person receiving a flyer through their letter box will religiously read all flyers and save them for posterity, if the dog hasn’t chewed up the flyer and the flyer deliverer’s hand first.  They come in fabulous colour schemes such as sickly gold and dark purple to seem all the more cheerful.  You will wonder if you are looking at photographs of fashion models and movie stars at first, then you realise it is pictures of your would-be elected officials.

Remember, if it is printed in a flyer, it is true.  Candidates are very careful not to promise more than they can deliver, and with our services and society in the shape they are today, there is very little left to promise anyway.

NEXT WEEK:  news on FOI requests into Union Terrace Gardens and City property sold to Stewart Milne; Deer update (the deer have 19 days left as things stand before the blackmail ultimatum is up), and more definitions.