Jan 242013
 

After many years in the music industry as a lead guitarist and side man, acclaimed UK rock musician Nigel Bennett released his debut solo album, Truth Or Consequences, on October 23, 2012 (Zip Records) in North America. The CD will be released in Europe in January 2013. Suzanne Kelly gets talking to Nigel about his new CD, touring, talent shows – and Donald Trump.

Bennett, lead guitarist for the British punk band The Vibrators, is taking centre stage as he flexes his musical virtuosity as a solo performer and front man. Truth Or Consequences features 13 tracks that highlight Bennett’s appreciation for styles ranging from country-tinged melodies to hard rock instrumentals to reggae.

Pat Collier produced the album (Primal Scream, Robyn Hitchcock, The Vibrators). During Bennett’s reputable musical career, he has performed with and written a hit single for The Members (“Radio”) and toured with Julian Lennon.

In the heady days of the late 1970s, punk bands formed, changed personnel, and split up with ferocious frequency. Nigel Bennett started in the Punk scene as guitarist for the Members; more recently he toured with The Vibrators (on guitar in place of Knox, who has semi-retired).

We start by discussing his first solo album. Nigel tells me the album title ‘Truth or Consequences’ comes from one of the many long US tours he’s been on.  Passing through the mid-West, the band drives past a sign for a town called ‘Truth or Consequences’ – he is intrigued. Apparently, the entire town voted to change its name to reflect the title of a popular television game show.  Only in America.

The album has many influences, but there is a small touch of punk throughout most of it, whether in rockabilly/western/punk track Rubidoux, or in the lyrics of ‘Another Day’ – a break up song which is sad, but still lyrically a touch sarcastic and humorous, too. ‘The Edge’ is very much an American western instrumental; it is followed by ‘Breezy,’ a track which puts me in mind of classic American bands; it makes me think of acts from The Eagles to The Grateful Dead. Nigel tells me he likes all forms of music – anything that is performed well.

We talk about punk past and present. Nigel tells me:-

“For me Punk came from a time when there were very angry young people.  (He mentions the strikes and the political problems).  There are punks that reunite at ‘Rebellion’ [an annual music festival], but I don’t even know what a punk is any more…  Does it mean you have a particular haircut and a pin in your nose?  I think it’s an attitude.  In The Members everyone was welcome whatever they wore.  Punk was not a uniform.”

We discuss how the music was made in no small part by the turbulent times, and we talk about music today. Simon Cowell and today’s pop inevitably come to the surface. We wonder whether the proliferation of television talent shows hasn’t made people more interested in fame than in honing their musical skills.

“The thing is, people like virtuosity – human beings love to see another human doing something extraordinarily well, whether in music or like in the gymnastics in the last Olympics. To see someone playing brilliantly – I can’t get enough of that. There doesn’t seem to be as much of that now as there was in the past. 

“Muse is good. One of the things I liked about the Who was those big, fat power chords they had – I remember sitting back as a kid and thinking ‘oh my god’ and then these chords were used by punk bands. Punk was terribly anti-establishment.  I’d love to be rich any day, but to be famous – I don’t envy anyone who is famous.” 

He asks me what’s going on in Aberdeen and in Scotland. An hour later, after I’ve told him the basics, he tells me of his paternal Scottish roots which are important to him (but he has no desire to open any golf courses). And what does he make of Donald Trump?

“He is as ridiculous as that toupee of his, and it’s a shame he’s been allowed to just take over.  I love Scotland; there are such friendly people, even if it’s always freezing cold when I’m there. ”

Nigel’s new album may well displease punk purists; it can be difficult for some artists to move between genres.

We discuss the example of the violent reaction Jello Biafra received (he was seriously assaulted in a bar and called a ‘sell-out’, allegedly due to his straying from what purists wanted from him), while David Bowie at age 66 is releasing a new single, and reinventing himself once again.

Nigel says:-

“When you’re known for one thing, people tend to want to go to your shows for that thing. [Biafra] changed styles for his own creativity. Bowie on the other hand… it’s very clever the way he’s always reinvented himself; he’s not let anyone put him into a narrow band.” 

“The whole thing about the album is that it’s showing another side of me. Punk is only one limited part of music. I had all these various ideas sort of lying around for a year or two or three unfinished, then the opportunity presented itself to do an album, so I started to write them down. 

“I’m purely into all of this from the heart. I approached two record companies in America and they both offered me a deal so I took the best one. I always had America in mind for this album. Americans love guitar – country, rock – they appreciate it. Guitar rules America.”

We discuss the track ‘In my Dreams,’ which has a reggae feel to it.

“When I joined the Members, it was at a time when I went to all the auditions. You had to be very diverse. I went to an Iron Maiden audition; we politely mutually realised that it wasn’t a fit. But they’ve kept it going; they’ve made millions – and they’ve made millions of people happy with it.  So – the ad I was responding to was for rock/reggae; some of the Members were very into Jamaican reggae, and I learnt about the off beat. It’s very much a summer song. It’s about a boy feeling very shy, and I can remember that as a teenager.

“Then I wrote ‘Another Day’. It’s not about any particular girlfriend; it’s about people breaking up and the memories that go with them. 

“Singing is new to me, and I’ll write more songs for the next album with vocals. I need to learn to be a better singer.  I’ve played lead for 30 years, but I’ve never fronted my own band.

“I know I’m in my mid 50s, but it’s never too late and there are no rules in music.”

Best of luck to Nigel Bennett in this and future projects.

PS – The album ‘Truth Or Consequences’ is available from Zip Records, and from good record stores – if they haven’t all had to close down. Goodbye One Up; Aberdeen will miss you.

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Nov 302012
 

Enduring Punk band The Vibrators will be at Glasgow’s Ivory Black on Friday 30 November. Touring in place of Knox is Nigel Bennett from The Members. Ivory Black is on Oswald Street, Glasgow.

The Vibrators just returned from an extended tour of the US.  Bennett, who has a solo album just out entitled ‘Truth or Consequences’ had this to say:-

“I love playing  Scotland; Ivory Black always has a good crowd and we’re all looking forward to being here again.”

The Vibrators were founded by Ian ‘Knox’ Carnochan, bassist Pat Collier, guitarist John Ellis, and drummer John ‘Eddie’ Edwards. They first came to public notice at the 100 Club when they backed Chris Spedding in 1976. On Spedding’s recommendation, Mickie Most signed them to his label RAK Records. Most produced their first single, “We Vibrate”. The band also backed Spedding on his single, “Pogo Dancing”. Knox is currently living in London and is involved in artwork and solo projects rather than the rigours of touring with the band.

The Vibrators recorded sessions for John Peel at BBC Radio 1 in October 1976, June 1977, and February 1978. They were one of the pioneering punk bands that played at London’s Roxy Club.

The Vibrators also play Edinburgh on Saturday 1 December .  They will be at The Citrus Club40-42 Grindlay Street; the Lurkers are supporting.

Feb 032012
 

The 2011 Annual Signal Gallery Punk Rock Artists show tribute to the late Poly Styrene (1957 – 2011) featured artwork from a majority of the acts that were the lights of British Punk Music.  Curated by Gaye Advert, featuring musical performances and great artwork, this was a highlight of UK winter art exhibitions as well as a perfect way to pay respects to Poly.  Voice’s Suzanne Kelly weighs in on a unique gallery and a unique collection of British artists.

The music world lost a number of real innovators in 2011 – people who were unlikely success stories in some ways, but whose individuality  shaped the history of music.  Amy Winehouse died in tragically predictable circumstances.  Nate Dogg had many personal problems and came from a world of violence, despite dice being loaded against him from the start, he worked with hip hop greats.

His style was sought after, and at the time of his death from  a stroke he’d been working on a new gospel project.  Then there was Marianne Joan Elliott-Said – or Poly Styrene to you and me.

Poly was born in 1957 – in a time where women had little prospects of exerting influence outside of the kitchen.  Women of the late fifties largely spent all their time trying to look conservatively, conformingly beautiful (and there is sad evidence that women are slipping back into wanting to look good more than wanting to be good at something).  Poly was having none of it.

She eventually wound up as the iconic, unpredictable, liberated, intelligent figurehead of punk band X-Ray Spex.  It was said the band formed after she and some friends saw the Sex Pistols perform.

Poly died in April 2011 from an advanced form of breast cancer.   Her unforgettable expressive vocals and X-Ray Spex’ music will always be around.

  Knox from the Vibrators is one of many musicians with artwork on show

The Signal Gallery near London’s Old Street Station has hosted exhibitions of music by punk musicians for some years now.   I’m sure many people who visit this extremely  popular show are there because of the musicians, but no one leaves without seeing a perfectly well curated group show of excellent, challenging art.

This year’s curator was Gaye Advert of (if you didn’t know) The Adverts.  She works in many media, and I’m particularly fond of pieces such as ‘bad squirrel’.  Knox from the Vibrators is one of many musicians with artwork on show; Knox is an extremely talented painter and has studied art.  He’s known for imaginative pieces as well as street scenes of London and overall for portraits of fellow musicians.  He had a portrait of Poly Styrene in this show as  had Charlie Harper and Chris Brief.

I missed the opening (and was cross with myself over it).  For an enthusiastic review of the opening with may photos, try http://retroman65.blogspot.com/2011/11/punk-beyond-gaye-advert-curated-art.html

I did however make it down for the Saturday 10 December acoustic sets by Knox and Charlie Harper of the  UK Subs.

Each played a solo set and then they played together to the Signal Gallery’s main room, totally filled from floor to ceiling with artwork and punk lovers young and old.  Nigel Benett  from The Members was among the audience.

I would love to have spoken more with Gaye Advert and the Gallery’s staff.  However, the former was busy trying to get artists to sign posters from the show, talking to press, being photographed, and trying to find Charlie when it was time for his set.  The posters  were sold at £50 each to raise money for a cancer charity in memory of Poly Styrene; I was lucky to get one.

The gallery owners were busy selling the few pieces of art that hadn’t already been sold, supplying countless beers to the crowd, and dealing with a pipe which started leaking on Charlie as he started his set.

The art was being talked about; some pieces such as a kinetic sculpture involving two dolls was sensational.  The art ranged from classic punk iconic art to abstracts and sculptures.

This show was a testimonial to the energy and talents that continue to keep punk going, and to the ongoing legend of Poly Styrene.

 

Oct 212011
 

Voice’s Suzanne Kelly was present to witness Wayne Hemingway give a talk to a full house at Robert Gordon’s Business School on the evening of 5th October. The audience was a wide mix of students, lecturers, design practitioners, businesspeople and others (Hemingway kept asking the audience questions to determine who was there, and he tailored his presentation accordingly).

Mr Hemingway gave an illuminating, bespoke talk.  My only criticisms were that the lighting engineer had no clue what type of lighting was appropriate for a slide/video presentation talk where people wanted to take notes (the lights went on and off, up and down for most of the second half), and that those who plan to forever change Union Terrace Gardens weren’t in evidence.
They might have learnt something.

If you think the Hemingway family (Wayne and Gerardine) are associated solely with fashion and the iconic ‘Red or Dead’ brand, you are missing some very important developments – housing developments to be precise.

Wayne saw a very clear need (which alas many planners and construction firms miss) to create places where people would actually want to live, socialise, landscape, play and be proud of. But more on that later.

Hemingway began the talk with his own life and design history.

In his early family years in Blackburn, his family was not wealthy; they valued creativity and imagination. He was on the music and clubbing scene from age 13 or so, and was enthralled by all he saw and heard in these early heady days of punk. He met his future wife and business partner Gerardine in a club, and was impressed with her clear passion and talent for clothes and customising vintage wear.

They got engaged, headed to London, and did typical day jobs (she as a secretary; he in a pub). One month things looked tight for paying the rent, so they decided on the entrepreneurial path and took a stall in Camden Market to sell their own second-hand, vintage clothing. This first outing proved so successful (and I assume enjoyable) that they put their efforts towards buying second hand clothing to sell. They delved into the world of  ‘the rag trade’ literally – buying goods otherwise destined for recycling from the ‘shoddy’ yards.

Few were touching vintage or second hand at the time, and the popularity of their stall grew and grew.

They soon learnt marketing tips such as the importance of where the stall was located in Camden. The now iconic Doc Marten boot was adored by the punk world, but elsewhere just seen as workers’ footwear. A clever deal with Doc Marten saw the duo buying old, damaged DMs in quantity (where the soles were worn through), repairing them (with a family member’s repair solution and friends to help), and selling them on for a considerable profit. The business grew and grew.

Gerardine created a small line of clothing – there were only eight pieces in the whole line – and headed to the very cool Kensington Market to join other designers and artists selling work.  Of all things Macy’s of New York found her there, and placed an order for 200 of each item. With some help from  several friends and relatives who could sew  they were able to fill the order. Out of this growth and interest, ‘Red or Dead’ came to life.

 Wayne had bought a large number of non-working sample watches; these were used to decorate shoes.

An older man in the trade asked Wayne ‘What does Red or Dead stand for?’ In the ensuing conversation this man explained how different brands were clearly aligned to aspirations and values: Weetabix, Nike, etc. – all major brands had a ‘raison d’etre’. Wayne and Gerardine made a list of things they stood for themselves – they were politically active, they came from areas without expensive, fashionable designer wear, they valued creativity and bought affordable items themselves.

It was clear they wanted Red or Dead to be affordable designer clothes. In deciding this they reached out to a sector of the public which had long been ignored. (They also realised that Macy’s did not fit with this direction).

The Red or Dead lines were to be sold through Top Shop (1983) and Miss Selfridge. Topshop at that point used to have no designers – only buyers and “copiers”.  These days it uses established and graduate designers, and the flagship London store also has a vintage section, perhaps a nod to ‘Red or Dead’.

At this time the pair had started paying attention to London Fashion Week, which was still at the time primarily an affair for the affluent. But the ‘powers that be’ at London Fashion Week had noted Red or Dead’s ascent with disdain.

The Hemingway’s dealings with Topshop and Miss Selfridge actually prevented them  from showing at London Fashion week for there years. The Hemingways had ‘demeaned’ fashion, and fashion ‘is about Harrods and Harvey Nicols.’  Or at least this was true to a Fashion Week mandarin.

This rebuff did not hurt Red or Dead sales in the least.

One year when the French were conducting nuclear tests and protestors were demonstrating against the tests around the world, London Fashion Week saw some drama courtesy of Red or Dead. “Non a Nuclear” banners provided the backdrop to the Read or Dead collection and French buyers were banned from the RoD show (which accounted for about a quarter of the buying audience normally – this exclusion was a considerable financial gamble).

Wayne explained he and Gerardine were willing to lose this custom in favour of making a political statement and appealing to and showing solidarity with the environmentalists – a growing movement in terms of visibility and economic power. What was going to be the public, media and market reaction to this show? The Hemingways went home.

Watching the national news some hours later, an item opened with a protest outside the French Embassy at Trafalgar Square.

Then the news item cut directly to the Red or Dead Fashion show.

All the media had picked up the story – and the phone started ringing. Wayne and Gerardine were being summoned that same night to talk to the press – the story of their show had veritably gone global.

Sales increased some 400% around the Red or Dead shops (which by now were in many countries). Corporate takeover advances soon came, and the Hemingways decided to sell. It was time for another adventure.

Wayne had interspersed this biographical talk with some sage business advice – the willingness to take risks, the way in which he delved deeply into the workings of the fashion industry from the lowly shoddy yards to the high end and London Fashion Week; all of which contributed learning experiences leading to success. (And by the way, apparently he is a very early riser, proving there must be some truth in the old ‘early to bed, early to rise…’ adage).

Wayne tells the audience:

“You learn absolutely every day; you need an ability to graft; there is never a day I get up after 5am.

“Creative minds don’t switch off… it’s how you get those ideas realised – graft and recognising which ideas can work… you need friends and good minds behind you.”

He also said without any false, unnecessary modesty how good he and Gerardine were at putting excellent teams together.

Turning from fashion to architecture and housing was the new direction. Boris Johnson had asked Wayne to be a ‘London Leader’, which involved working with the Mayor on a voluntary basis on projects and ideas to make London better.   At this point the talk turns from fashion history to the future of our cities.

“We’ve allowed our High Streets to become ‘clone’ High Streets.”  Hemingway says, and no one can argue with that.

He discusses his contribution to Boris Johnson’s project, which was ‘KiosKiosk’ – moveable, affordable (need I say it – well-designed) designer boutiques on wheels, seen at various London icons such as the Wheel.  These offer young designers a chance to meet the world head on – and since a stall at Camden Market is now extremely expensive, this offers others the kind of break the Hemingways had at the start.

Hemingway also applauds the model of ‘pop-up’ shops and restaurants, which have taken London by storm, and which have reached Aberdeen (for instance Emma Noble’s and Toni Roddie’s S.T.A.G Studio events at Korova – 19 November).

Hemingway references an article he wrote, “Why I Hate The Creeping Suburbs” in which he describes the Wimpeyfication and ‘Barratification’ of Britain.

The issues surrounding ‘urban sprawl’ are now recognised by the United Nations (as well as by most serious, thoughtful local planners); our ecology and biodiversity are not all that is at stake – our very health is jeopardised by the cities and suburbs over spilling into the countryside (increasing asthma and heart problems come with increased pollution; obesity from lack of exercise as we all commute to and from the cities to work, alcoholism increases, and so do social problems).

As a designer who has identified a problem does, Wayne decided to ‘look inside’ the issue, ‘see what he already knew’ about housing, and propose solutions.

He showed poignant photos at this point – a fairly new housing development which clearly looked more like a prison or factory; a beautiful Victorian pub turned into a block of (very unattractive, compact) flats, and a Liverpool street which once offered small, good first homes, now earmarked for high-rise flats.

He cautioned that mortgage companies (which could have provided mortgages for people to fix and modernise the existing homes on that Liverpool street) are dictating the state of our housing by what they will lend money for.  They seem to favour mortgages for new properties and turn down those who want to refurbish and improve properties.

The old Victorian homes may leak carbon, but they have been around for one hundred years, and thus have less of a carbon footprint than the alternative of tearing them down to make flats.

Wayne has designed housing estates which have very few, if any, equals in the UK.

There are leisure spaces for families (sand, trees, tables, different levels, etc. – some of the best design work he ever did, he tells us), and community gardens.  No one vandalises these (or the outdoor communal Ping-Pong table) because everyone’s families had a hand in creating and designing them in the first place.  The design for these estates started with people first and what they wanted and liked – the actual housing came second to the people.

Wayne ends with some great footage of his and Gerardine’s ‘Museum of Lost Content’ (a home for vintage design which might otherwise be forgotten) and the Vintage event – a massive ‘happening’ (for lack of a better word) held last year at London’s Southbank.

This festival combines decades of design and fashion, iconic music, bands, events and everything that celebrates Britain you can imagine in one place.   It was attended by thousands.  As words fail me, I suggest you visit http://www.vintagebyhemingway.co.uk/ and let the design do the talking.

Wayne also discussed photos he has of an Aberdeen estate; there are signs prohibiting virtually every kind of activity a child (or adult) might want to indulge in, including the dreaded ‘ball-playing.’

Question time arrives, and I am dying to ask for a comment on the future of our Union Terrace Gardens then and there.  However I decide that once the designs are unveiled, I will contact Hemingway.  I have no doubt he will have something useful to say after tonight’s talk.  It was a valuable and thought-provoking evening, and I was glad for this glimpse into ‘Wayne’s World.’

Jun 032011
 

Last week’s Voice featured Aberdeen entertainment icon Sid Ozalid, his life, his act, his impact, the release of his new book, and news of ‘not to be missed’ performances in the city. Well, If you did happen to miss out on catching Sid live on Friday and Saturday, then fash yersel not – this week we present a brief account of the missed mayhem, and a poem from ‘Mr Elastic Brain’.

Sid Ozalid jetted in from Sunny Amsterdam last Friday for a whistle stop tour of Aberdeen to promote his fab new book ‘Mr Elastic Brain – The Life and Poems of Sid Ozalid’.

The previous week he had done three gigs in London and the week before that three gigs in Holland, so he was keen to make it a hat trick and do three gigs in Aberdeen.

This meant two gigs on Friday night and a book signing/performance at 1UP on the Sat afternoon.

Below
Sid Ozalid performs ‘Tartan Underpants’  accompanied by Dave McLeod.

Lots of people made one gig, a few brave people made it along to two gigs, but apart from Sid and his lovely wife only one person made it to all three:  a Mr Colin MacLean who had driven up from the Kingdom of Fife to see Sid after an absence of 26 years.

Colin and Sid had performed together in 1977 in one of Aberdeen’s first punk bands, ‘The Enormous Snakes,’ and Colin had gone on to work with Sid as one of his All-Stars over a number of years, taking in the Edinburgh Festival and supporting The Clash at Inverness Ice Rink.

The first two gigs sizzled with professionalism, wit and dancing. The 24 year-old MC at Geesalaff Comedy Night, Miss Anna Devitt said:

“I was exhausted just watching; he was non-stop, how can someone this old have so much energy?  My mum is a big fan and told me to get one of his books, the book truly is amazing, so I told mum to get her own copy.”

The third gig at 1UP, the sole suppliers of Sid’s book in Aberdeen, was the most surreal by far.

Sid performed ‘Salvador Dali’s Hat’, ‘Three Fat Ladies at the Bingo Hall,’ and thrashed himself with a daisy — but nothing had prepared him for two drunk shoppers and a man in an electric wheel chair.

The drunk shoppers really giggled at Sid’s antics, but thought nothing of standing next to him flicking through CD’s and asking his opinion on Hip Hop and Jazz classics.

Sid took all of this in his stride and was set the extra challenge of being nimble on his feet when the electric wheelchair man was so taken by the performance he decided to join in, whizzing to the stage and joining Sid on the first electric wheelchair elastic brain dance routine ever seen in Aberdeen. Sid may well have been the dance teacher to the Queen at one time in his life, but nothing had prepared him for this!!

Some nice people had ordered Sid’s book from Amazon and brought it along to be signed, and other nice people bought copies of the book at 1UP, and there then followed a good half hour of chatting and book signing.

A special mention must go to Fred Craig of 1UP who had brought along one of Sid’s original book/records from 1982 ‘Songs and Stories from a Suitcase Extravaganza.’  Fred wanted this signed, and in return Sid was rewarded with a well deserved cup of tea.

With all profits going to MIND for better mental health Sid was a happy man.
http://www.mind.org.uk/

Tartan Underpants

They are groovy they can dance
They can put you in a trance
That’s my tartan underpants
Tartan underpants ooh
Tartan underpants ooh

You can use them as a tent use then as a hanky
One thing is sure there’s never hanky panky
In my tartan underpants
Tartan underpants ooh
Tartan underpants ooh

I don’t drink whisky don’t eat haggis
Go to bed with a girl from Paris
In my tartan underpants
Tartan underpants ooh
Tartan underpants ooh

My pants are funky they know what to do
Goodbye boxer shorts it’s the Y Front crew
That’s my tartan underpants
Tartan underpants ooh
Tartan underpants ooh

I’m a boring old folk singer
Philip is my name
My mother is a miner
My sisters on the game

I’ve a face like a scrotum
Wear an Arran jersey
Nobody likes me
I’ve got bad breath
Claymore !!!

My old sheep ran away
my dog is very angry
He hasn’t slept all week
And likes a drink of shandy
Ben Nevis !!!

May 252011
 

By Fred Wilkinson.

The year is 1979. I am at Aberdeen’s 62 Club to watch a selection of local punk bands, and my attention is drawn to an unfamiliar name on the bill.
Sid Ozalid? A band?  A guy? Pretty punk if slightly strange kind of a name though, which for an 18 y.o. punk diehard was somehow reassuring.
On stage appeared a tall, skinny, slightly weird-looking guy with no guitar. Not punk – not punk at all, which in the circumstances was all the more intriguing.

What happened next was somewhere between seeing the light and being scarred for life.

Out of a sudden discharge of nervous energy came an onslaught of surreal, silly verse spliced seamlessly with a bunch of broken anecdotes delivered at a pace leaving no pause for appraisal; accompanied by incongruous, disjointed, directionless dance moves which somehow worked – they must have worked, as somehow, he stayed on his feet.

Then it was over. I had not moved. I was still staring at the empty stage, and I remember thinking: “I hope no-one asks me what I made of Sid Ozalid.”  Devoid of reference points, my thoughts were a long time coming. Yes, I found it funny, and yes I was immensely entertained – I just didn’t know why! Neither punk nor Python, neither Cutler, Cooper nor Cooper-Clarke, Sid Ozalid certainly breathed the same air, but did not walk on the same planet.

Would I perhaps find a clue to understanding what made Sid tick from his publicity around at the time? –

“Legend has it that Sid Ozalid was born sometime during an eruption of earwigs.

“Sid arrived on earth from the planet OZ in the year 1898. His spaceship was disguised as an old brown suitcase that was full of inflatable toys.

“During this period he specialised in walking backwards into hat stands.

“Six years later he split from Flying Ozalids to form Sid and Sam the Ozalid Twins. This dynamic duo thrilled audiences with their routine entitled ‘The First pickled Onion in Orbit’, but alas this too came to an abrupt end due to lack of cupboard space”

– Alas, No.

Fast-forward to the following evening.

Three troublesome fat ladies, a conductor named Russ and a womanising fire raising tortoise had taken up permanent residence in my consciousness, and it seemed that the only way to exorcise these delightful demons, and at the same time come to terms with the experience was via demonstration to the uninitiated.

And so there I was outside with my brothers and sister and a few chums, recounting those fragments of verse I could recall whilst attempting in vain to recreate those unique ‘dance’ moves.

Perhaps an observer of the ‘lite’ version would be better placed to help me understand what it was about Sid that had so affected me. No chance. They stood – as I had stood, and stared – as I had stared, and laughed. That evening, each time another chum arrived in our company came the call:

” Hey Fred, go dae yer Sid Ozalid, watch ess, it’s really funny “

The previous evening Sid had performed for around 15 minutes. Twenty four hours later, I must have performed twice as long armed with only about 30 seconds of Sid’s material. More than once, passers-by stopped on the other side of the road … then moved on when they ascertained I was not in need of medical assistance.

As I look back I realise this was a solid indication that Sid Ozalid would be around for some time to come, and would become, if not a legend, definitely an icon of the Aberdeen Entertainment scene.

I was not the only one for whom Sid Ozalid presented an enigma:

” he auditioned and was invited to perform on two different talent shows. Once again the producers liked what Sid was doing but did not know how to describe him. They settled for ‘eccentric’. ” – Douglas John Mclean Cairns

Thirty two years on, having enjoyed many more of Sid’s performances, yet being no closer to understanding exactly how to explain what it is about Sid Ozalid’s act that entertains, amuses and excites me, I find myself charged with the task of reviewing his brand new book:

“Mr Elastic Brain – The Life And Poems Of Sid Ozalid”.

Having just finished reading it, I find myself desperate to tell everyone to go get themselves a copy as soon as possible, but as with my impression of that first performance, I struggle to articulate why it will be worth more to you than a tenner. But I will try.

These days, I know Sid Ozalid by his not so ‘pretty punk, and kinda reassuringly strange’ name Douglas Cairns …. which is actually more reassuring.

So, where to start?

This is an autobiographical book in four parts, about Sid Ozalid, written by Douglas John McLean Cairns. Or is it? As with all things Sid Ozalid, it is the equivalent of an ‘any-way-up’ cup as the first part of the book demonstrates.

Even to someone as familiar with the writer as I am, It startles me to discover that the madness which fuelled the performances of Sid Ozalid and brought so much pleasure to many also had an alter ego in the shape of a mental illness which had a devastating effect on Douglas Cairns for a period in 2001 – and as a consequence, all but put an end to Sid.

People had always told Sid he was mad. He thought they were joking until the dawning of the new millennium, suddenly he had a doctor’s certificate to prove what people had been telling him for years.” – Douglas John Mclean Cairns.

Here it is we find – in between some hilarious stories of Sid’s outrageous antics and adventures – an honest account of the extent of Douglas’ illness, punctuated by humour of a nature that can only be explained in terms of Douglas’ story being written by Sid.

It is difficult to pinpoint where ownership of the pen changed, but what results is uniquely unsettling, and simultaneously entertaining. For Sid to joke about Douglas’ dark and desperate situation is surely to run the risk being regarded as sick … but then, at the pertinent time, they are both sick aren’t they?

I don’t have the recipe, but I am pretty sure the main ingredient is his ability to appeal to our inner child.

However, at no point does the humour mask the pain, the lighter asides serving only reinforce the severity of the debilitating condition by way of contrast. It is a brave piece of writing, sandwiched between hilarious tales of the more familiar and wonderful madness of The Artist Formerly Known As Sid Ozalid.

The major portion of the book’s contents is a collection of Sid’s wonderfully bizarre and humorous poems and songs which were the mainstay of his act from 1977 to the present day. Similarities with this material and that of Spike Milligan are impossible to ignore. However, to leave it at that would be to compare a wedding cake with a rowie on account of their flour content.

So am I any closer to putting into words what is the magical appeal of Sid Ozalid?

Well I don’t have the recipe, but I am pretty sure the main ingredient is his ability to appeal to our inner child.

Didn’t we all spontaneously giggle and cackle as babes in response to the simplest and the silliest of things? A pulled face? A silly noise? The poking out of a tongue? A sudden unexpected movement or gesture? Anything at all unusual yet unthreatening? When did we stop being so spontaneously and so thoroughly amused? Did we stop giggling, or did our adult entertainers decide our needs for entertainment lay elsewhere?

If nothing else, Sid Ozalid demonstrates that our inner child is still with us and desperate for a giggle, and the mere fact he knows our tickly spot is enough to make us all the more tickly.

If there should ever be an Aberdeen Entertainers Hall of Fame, Sid Ozalid will be there. He will be neither a statue in the foyer, a framed picture on a wall, or a prized prop or instrument in a glass case. The broom cupboard will be as good a place as any to start your search, but when you track him down he will be possibly be represented by that item described within the spontaneous lyrics of a similarly strange and hilarious Scots band.

” I’ll perhaps take a piece of white bread and I’ll paint it brown so you think it is brown but when you toast it it’s actually white for the paint falls off “ ( from the album Hairy Scalloween by The Pendulums. )

Footnotes.

Mr Elastic Brain – The Life And Poems Of Sid Ozalid by Douglas John McLean Cairns is published by Chipmunka Publishing which specialises in giving a voice to people with mental health and other issues.

  • The profits from sales of Mr Elastic Brain are being donated to MIND – a leading mental health charity.

“We campaign vigorously to create a society that promotes and protects good mental health for all – a society where people with experience of mental distress are treated fairly, positively and with respect.” http://www.mind.org.uk/

  • Aberdeen Voice will present a sample of Sid’s poetry in the coming weeks – if that’s OK with Sid, or Douglas, or both – so you can judge for yourselves should you miss all three performances in town this weekend.

Geesalaff Comedy Night
Friday, May 27 at 8:00pm
Cellar 35, Rosemount Viaduct
( Sid onstage around 21.00pm )

The Big Acoustic Night Out!/ Traditional Amplified Music Session
Friday, May 27 at 9:00pm
The Blue Lamp, 121 Gallowgate
( Sid onstage around 22.30pm )

Book Launch and Performance !!!
Saturday, May 28 at 4:00pm
1 UP Records – 17 Belmont Street

BrewDog: Beer – Enthusiasm – Love.

 Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, Opinion  Comments Off on BrewDog: Beer – Enthusiasm – Love.
Mar 112011
 

By Suzanne Kelly.

I was never going to be able to write an objective article about BrewDog – it is simply the most innovative and honest craft beer to emerge in the UK (or probably anywhere); I can’t think of any competition.

There is nothing out there in the beer sector that screams craftsmanship, individuality, creativity and…. well, love of beer, more than the BrewDog brand.

I am waiting for Bruce Gray from BrewDog HQ at the BrewDog pub in Aberdeen which opened in mid October.  The fashionably industrial/minimalistic bar sits across from Marischal College. People are queuing to be served and the three staff behind the bar are busy but enthusiastically offering tastes of the dozens of craft beers on offer to those customers unsure what to drink. The music is as eclectic as the clientele and the brews on offer. It ranges from Beck to Massive Attack then goes back a few decades to come forward again.

Behind the bar are dozens and dozens of bottles of BrewDog offerings as well as an international collection of beers that makes my eyes water. Beer is sold in bottles and draught – the draught offerings seem to change with some frequency and limited edition offerings come and go from the tap with speed. In addition, they sell some of my favourite cheeses from Mellis (an enlarged menu will follow soon, Bruce advises).  Bliss.

Bruce gets free from the bar and joins me; the first thing we discuss is the BrewDog philosophy. He extols the virtues of craftsmanship and explains that the company’s willingness to take risks and experiment has been key to its current considerable success.  BrewDog opens in Edinburgh in March (Bruce had been down yesterday and reports it may open earlier than scheduled) and other pubs will soon emerge in Glasgow and London. I think they will be coining it in.

The company was started by Martin and James who sold their ‘Punk IPA’, ‘Paradox’ and ‘Trashy Blonde‘ offerings initially at the Aberdeen Farmers’ Market on Belmont Street. The next stop for the Dog was the export market where the following grew as the products’ quality spoke for itself.

Collaborations with international breweries followed as did a mountain of awards. These two founders are currently employing some 50 people, and BrewDog has experienced a profit increase from last year to this of some 260%. Unprecedented.

Bruce puts this down to the quality of the beers and to the skills of the guys in marketing. I can’t argue with that. Courting controversy has brought publicity – some negative – but it has not hurt the firm. You may recall scandalised newspaper stories on ‘Sink the Bismarck’ and ‘Tactical Nuclear Penguin‘ extra strong beers.

The press would have you believe that children would be buying bottles of these strong beers (some as powerful as 33% ABV) and getting paralytic in the streets.

Having tried the ‘Sink the Bismarck’ – these strong beers are only sold as ‘nips’ by the way – I can promise you that no one would sooner guzzle this down than down than they would a gallon of whisky. It’s like nothing else – a concentrated rich, cordial of a beer, a nip of which took me about twenty minutes to finish.

It is the flavours which really excite. While I love beer and attend beer/real ale festivals, I don’t have the vocabulary to fully describe just how unique these beers are. The ‘Trashy Blonde’ is described on the label as being a ‘statuesque fruity ale’ and I certainly can’t do better than that.

I love the honey notes in ‘Paradox’, and the classic ‘5 a.m. Saint’ is a strong ale which was the winner of the top overall award at the Hong Kong International Beer Awards in 2010.

Bruce and I discuss ‘Bitch Please’ which comes out at the end of 2011 – if you think you taste shortbread and toffee when you get your hands on this one, that will be because they’ve thrown some in. One of my favourite offerings so far was ‘Eurotrash’ – they took the ‘Trashy Blonde’ recipe and substituted the type of yeast used.  The result of making this one change was, well, delicious – and completely different in taste to the original Blonde. You are left in no doubt that the brewers are ruled by their imaginations, not profit margins. Don’t look for ‘Eurotrash’ any more – it’s all gone. I ask Bruce to please consider bringing it back; watch this space.

I feel I must ask Bruce some grown-up business questions so I ask what kind of demographic they are targeting; the answer is that they are not after any one group at all and they find women are very interested and want a taste of everything (a wooden pallet holding 4 x 1/3 pint beer tasters is a popular seller).  In fact, the place is devoid of the stereotypical real ale fan; I see no obligatory man with beard, beer gut and woolly jumper.

I’ve added a few things to my ‘must do’ list; namely, getting the soon-to-be released ‘Beer School’ booklet and the new collection of four single hop IPA – ‘IPA is dead’.

I thank Bruce for his time, and come away (well, go to the bar to buy a half of Camden Town Brewery’s wheat beer and a half of ‘5 a.m. Saint’ ) impressed by the genuine enthusiasm that permeates every aspect of this operation. I should probably be trying to think of some clever pun or other for an article headline – no doubt something about ‘bark’, ‘hop’, ‘every dog has its day’ – but it is totally unnecessary. BrewDog is Beer for Punks and everyone else who honestly loves an honest beer.