Culture Archives - Page 7 of 9

Stoney Folk’s Silver Jubilee

Aberdeenshire, Featured, Gigs and Concerts No Responses »

Jul 012013

With thanks to Charlie West.

The Folk of Stonehaven will be celebrating the town’s 25^th annual Folk Festival this July. The weekend festival began in 1989 with a series of concerts in the Town Hall and a number of fringe activities including workshops, sessions and a Tradition Bearers singing concert.

The festival has grown over the years to include many more events such as the World Paper’n’Comb Championship – a fun ‘competition’ with a different theme each year and the unique Aqua Ceilidh held in the Open Air swimming pool.

Dancing is to a live ceilidh band and includes well known favourites such as the Splashing White Sergeant and Drip the Willow. Rain or shine this is one for all the family.

This year the organisers have placed an emphasis on highlighting some of the exciting new young talent alongside well-established artists such as Scotland’s Dougie MacLean and Paul Brady ( pictured above ) form Ireland. Dougie is well-known as a singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist and is famously the composer of Caledonia.

In the 70’s Paul started with the supergroup Planxty, going on to establish a very successful solo career in America before returning to his roots in Ireland.

Among the new breed of up-and-coming talent is Rura – a five-piece band featuring pipes, fiddle, bodhrán, guitar and vocals and including three BBC Young Tradition finalists, and Zoe Bestel, the girl with the ukulele, a singer-songwriter of amazing talent and depth of understanding whose repertoire of self-penned songs covers a range of subjects, often with an interesting twist.

There will also be the North East Folk Collective led by Sharon Hassan – a group of 13-18 year olds with some amazing tunes and tight arrangements all ensuring the good health and future of Scottish folk music.

In addition to the Town Hall concerts, there is also a full programme of activities on both Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday there is, weather permitting, a concert in the square, featuring festival artists and local singers and musicians.

In case of rain the concert will be held in the Town Hall. At 12 noon in the Belvedere Hotel, a tutor from Scottish Culture and Traditions (SCAT) will lead slow sessions giving less-experienced musicians a chance to learn some tunes and join in the fun.

There will be a big singaround during the afternoon with Danny Couper and Arthur Johnstone showcasing some of the best of traditional Scots song and singers and a series of hosted sessions and workshops throughout the afternoon.

At 1600 the World Paper’n’Comb Championship kicks off, with the theme Loud Shirts. Just about anything goes and fancy dress is optional.

Sunday starts with the unique Aqua Ceilidh in the Art Deco open air pool. The pool has heated seawater so it is always at a pleasant temperature for dancing to the NE Folk Collective Ceilidh Band. This is followed by the Cowie Fringe in the nearby recreation club. This is a mix of festival artists and guests with additional fun things for kids of all ages to do, rounded off with a fun Family Ceilidh.

Also around the town there is the Tradition Bearers concert featuring four of the best traditional singers in the UK followed by the Chorus Cup – a fun completion to see who can get the loudest chorus. There will also be workshops with members of the band Breabach and sessions around the town.

For full details, visit www.stonehavenfolkfestival.co.uk.

Tickets are available online from the Town Hall Trust web site http://stonehaventownhall.org.uk/ from Celtic Chords in Barclay Street, Stonehaven or from the ticket line 07766 851596.

Thursday 11^th July

Stonehaven Folk Festival weekend starts here :

Opening Concert in Stonehaven Town Hall – featuring Dougie MacLean, one of Scotland’s most successful, respected and popular musicians, Singer-songwriter, composer and ‘magical’ performer, he is also a fine guitarist and fiddle player. He will be supported by local singer and musician Ken Clark.

Friday 12^th July

Stonehaven Folk Festival big Concert Ceilidh night in the Town Hall starts at 7:30 ‘till late (well 1 o’clock). Featuring Ray Moore, Rura, Mairearad Green and Anna Massie plus the Occasionals Ceilidh Band.

Saturday 13^th July

Stonehaven Folk Festival Weekend : things gets going at 11 o’clock with workshops, sessions, afternoon Open Stage at the Plainstones (Town Square) featuring local artist and Festival guests. Evening concert in the town Hall, guests are the North East Folk Collective, Kristina Olsen and Braebach.

During the day there will be a singaround led by Danny Couper and Arthur Johnstone. There will also be the Steenhive Big Sing with Christine Kydd – a chance to join a group of people and sing together, no experience is necessary and Christine will ensure everyone has fun while learning some songs and harmonies. Don’t forget the World Paper’n’Comb championships – this year with a “Loud Shirt” theme.

Sunday 14^th July

Stonehaven Folk Festival Weekend – the day gets going with Aqua Ceilidh in the town’s open air pool, a great way to clear the cobwebs. Dancing to the North East Folk Collective with dances such as Drip the Willow and the Splashing White Sergeant. The day continues with the Cowie Family Fun Day at the Recreation Club plus more sessions around the town.

During the afternoon there is a Tradition Bearers concert with four great traditional singers Henry Douglas, Bella Hardy, Jerry O’Reilly and Moira Stewart followed by the Chorus Cup competition.

The Festival closes with an evening concert in the Town Hall featuring Zoe Bestel, Bella Hardy and legendary singer songwriterPaul Brady.

Workshops with members of Breabach and day two of the Steenhive Big Sing with Christine Kydd.

MC For the weekend will be Martin Kasprowicz

Although tickets are usually available on the door, people are advised to buy tickets in advance as most concerts sell out.

Tickets are available from Celtic Chords, 8 Barclay Street in Stonehaven (01569 763193) or by calling the ticket ‘phone 07766 581596 or visiting the Stonehaven Town Hall web site http://www.tickettailor.com/checkout/view-event/id/7885/chk/0d5c

There will also be a Festival Office located in the Upper Town Hall over the weekend; it opens from 4 o’clock on the 11^th July for ticket sales and programme information.

Dog City?

Aberdeen City, Information, Satire and Humour 10 Responses »

Jun 282013

Lets talk about …..Dogging. Dave Watt writes.

Dogging is a predominantly British activity that involves outdoor exhibitionism in car-parks, wooded areas and the like.
The term dogging originated in the early Seventies to describe men who spied on couples having sex outdoors. These men would ‘dog’ the couples’ every move in an effort to watch them.

When uninhibited couples discovered that open-air sex has its own special thrill they began meeting in car-parks, and the doggers found a new and rich supply of voyeuristic fun.

Moreover, the doggers soon realised that couples were actively encouraging them to watch, even performing for them, and sometimes allowing them to join in.

Is Dogging legal?

Currently in the UK dogging is mentioned in the sexual offences act under Section 66 – Exposure and Section 67 – Voyeurism.

Section 66 of the law specifically states that if doggers intend to cause alarm or distress to members of the public then they are breaking the law and face consequences. In other words, it is not illegal to have sex outdoors but you can get in trouble if an innocent passerby spots you and is offended.

So, if you’ve got a spotty bum let’s get Mr Clearasil to work and give those cheeks a good airing.

Dogging Requirements – A car. No matter how well developed your calf muscles, turning up on a bike is a real ‘no-no’.

To attract the attention of fellow doggers: flash either headlights or interior car lights.

Participation etiquette :

Interior car light on – invitation for any nearby doggers to watch.

Car windows open – invitation for any nearby doggers to touch, grope or feel.

Car door open – invitation for any nearby doggers to participate in sex act.

Bent naked over bonnet of your car – basically an open invite to all comers although a certain amount of decorum in the shape of an orderly queue should be maintained. Play nice, people.

Why dog at all?

Although obviously the protagonists main motivation is sex many doggers cite such other benefits as getting out in the fresh air and meeting lots of new people.

Dogging in Aberdeen

The Counteswells Car-Park opposite the EquestrianSchool has a thriving evening turnover with Friday and Saturday nights apparently best for the serious dogger. Daytime action tends to be most common at Parkhill Picnic Area at the Bridge of Don although there are other areas around the city – down beside the river near Baker Hughes in Stoneywood and the road at the end of Leggart Terrace towards Banchory Devenick being two other favoured locations.

Top Dogs in the UK

A survey recently showed that the top areas for dogging in the UK are Essex (where their desire to embrace Nigel Farage is surpassed only by their desire to embrace each other naked in secluded car parks) Kent and London with our own Strathclyde and Lothian, sadly, in the bottom ten. Hang your heads in shame, as they say, Strathclyde and Lothian.

A Window of Opportunity

However, with the failure of Southern Scotland in the dogging stakes is this not a golden opportunity for the Granite City to seize the moment by becoming Scotland’s Dog City? After the disappointment of Aberdeen not getting the UK’s City of Culture by apparently not sticking two million tons of concrete on top of a city park let us not be dismayed.

Let us instead look upward and onward and above all, innovatively. Since Union Terrace Gardens aren’t going to be home to a conglomeration of chain stores that will bring in more tourists every year than the Grand Canyon how can we best utilise it in its present format?

Simples. Let’s turn UTG into Britain’s first custom made Dogging Centre.

Commercially, this could be a goldmine for the city

Obviously a certain amount of work will need to be done, planting bowers and creating dogging bays around the perimeter of the Gardens and of course, some sort of one way system will have to be introduced for traffic control.

Other innovations could include the discreet lighting of trees lit from below as per the Tivoli gardens in Copenhagen which would add much to the nocturnal dogging scene and, for those inclement winter months, some outdoor heaters for the fair weather dogger.

Commercially, this could be a goldmine for the city with an entry dogging fee and fast food licences to be sold to prospective outlets. Obviously, after an evening of trouser antics out in the fresh air Mr & Ms Dogger (or Mr & Mr Dogger for that matter) are going to be dying for a fag and a good feed.

Perhaps Ann Summers might want to open a stall for those ‘last minute things’ that one of the protagonists has forgotten to pack. Attendants could also roam the Gardens selling KY Jelly, Viagra and ‘interesting’ condoms.

For those doggers who wish to ‘show what they’ve got’ there could be the establishment of an entry fee spectators gallery overlooking the main action spots and for those doggers who want a record of the event we could initiate the sale of discreetly packaged DVDs.

Another nice earner could be the sale of souvenir t-shirts. with such ‘witty’ messages as ‘My Mum and Dad spent four hours dogging in Union Terrace Gardens and all they brought me back was this lousy t-shirt and some penicillin.’

Enterprising garages could tender for a combined MOT and Service While You Dog offer. The commercial possibilities are endless. This is not the time for shilly-shallying – we must seize the moment to put Aberdeen on the Dogging Map.

Over to you, Comrade Barney.

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Old Susannah’s Journal No 124 – The Shame Of It

Articles 17 Responses »

Jun 212013

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho! Summer time and the living is vibrant and dynamic. Race for Life takes place in a fortnight; Duthie Park will reopen in style on the 30th; Willows is holding an open day on the 22nd, the Portsoy Boat Festival runs all this coming weekend, and much more is going on.

As soon as time permits, I’ll write about the RGU degree show held last Friday. Visitors and staff alike were impressed at the quality of the work.

With the BrewDog Annual General Meeting days away, I can barely concentrate for excitement.

They are also releasing more shares, and no doubt my purchase of another two shares will throw my moralistic critics into a tailspin.

Not only that, but I have accepted my first ever ever gift from someone I’m writing about.

The piece should be in today’s Aberdeen Voice, and I am sure it will do as much to restore your faith in our police as it has done for me.

Anyway I initially refused the gift, but not wanting to upset my contact, I acquiesced and accepted it. Readers will have to decide on their own how corrupt this makes me and how biased and obligated to my source I am. I have accepted, as a gift for writing about something, a tiny piece of macaroon, and an (unopened) packet of popping candy.

I intend to share this at the Aberdeen Voice anniversary party; more on that eventually from our editor, Fred.

Suffice it to say Aberdeen Voice is now virtually 3 years old. I shall wait by my mailbox for congratulatory letters and telegrams from old and new friends, from Neil Fletcher and Kate Dean to Stewart Milne and Donald Trump. I keep trying to convince editor Fred Wilkinson to either marry one of the Trump children or open an erotic publishing arm to boost our standing and income, but he seems a little less than keen.

So Alas! We won’t be in the same league as Aberdeen Journals anytime soon. Still, I live in hope.

My BrewDog and journalistic freebies euphoria as been tempered by the surprise announcement that Aberdeen did not get further with its City of Culture bid.

You’ll never guess the suspected reason, so astutely pointed out in unbiased fashion by the 20 June Press & Journal. They are 100% certain we’d have won this prestigious award if only we’d built a granite web over Union Terrace Gardens. I’m sure the culture judges simply didn’t do their homework. I just hope they didn’t get distracted by our little hiccoughs regarding culture.

we shot our 70 year old herd of harmless roe deer, bulldozed their meadow

Did they care that we allowed the Foyer to close? It provided structure and support to young people with problems while allowing established and fledgling artists to show their work with openings attended by many sections of Aberdeen society.

Did the culture judges care that in a town of billionaires and multi-millionaires no one would rescue – for a mere £5k – Limousine Bull? Bull provided affordable studio spaces in Torry for new artists, held art classes, ran exhibitions, and improved the cultural life in Torry.

Did the judges care that while ‘transforming’ Aberdeen we shot our 70 year old herd of harmless roe deer, bulldozed their meadow which was home to many species and turned it back into a barren rubbish tip, studded with saplings destined to die? Did they care about how we closed services to young, old and people with special needs and abilities?

Of course not – like the rest of the world, they wanted us to borrow £90 million, rip out the only city centre green space without tombstones on it, and build a bunch of ramps that went up and down. And that’s why we lost. I hope you feel as ashamed as I do.

This devastating loss of a prestigious award, which saw giant spiders in the streets of Liverpool costing only a million pounds or so is crushing. Still, we live on.

Thankfully we are being castigated over the loss by arbiters of good taste, John Prescott and the Press and Journal.

Some folks suspect the P&J had a vested interest in supporting their advertisers’ granite web dream project. Others still think the P&J and its sister the Evening Express contrived in subtle ways to gently, subliminally convince the public the web was the answer to our prayers, but I can’t find any examples of any such behaviour.

Where did our culture bid go wrong? We had a guy painting himself different colours and sitting in the window of an independent record store that couldn’t afford to keep going. We took web saleswoman Rita Stephen and put her in charge, ostensibly because she knows how to sell things like, er, the idea of a web.

John Prescott wants Barney Crockett to be ashamed

We have missed our one and only chance to be a city with webs that people want to live close to. As the P&J suggests, we should ‘Hang Our Heads In Shame’.

And on that note some definitions.

Shameless: (Eng. adjective) to fail to, or refuse to acknowledge or display remorse, guilt or regret when conditions merit it.

When our betters tell us to be filled with shame, we would do well to obey. When our conscience tells us we have done wrong, we should admit it and show remorse.

The Press & Journal want us to be ashamed for not building the web. John Prescott wants Barney Crockett to be ashamed – Crockett suggested Aberdeen was edged out of the all-important Culture contest in part for being a rich city compared to the other contenders.

Who should know more about shame than Prezza and the Prezza and Journal?

Prescott, when not confessing his infidelities with his secretary, doing television programmes about ‘class’ and beating egg-throwing protestors, seems to have a new string to his bow – criticising his own party members. As to the affair, his wife Pauline decided to stand by him after he admitted two years of cheating with one of his secretaries (which was OK, because it wasn’t love, so that’s all right).

Pauline Prescott stayed with her husband for the sake of the book, which earned a few pennies here and there.

It recounts John’s romantic marriage proposal (to the wife, not the secretary), which was delivered in a train toilet (hopefully one of those larger train toilets rather than the small ones). So if anyone is qualified to tell Crockett and the web-resisters they should be ashamed, then it is Prezza.

Quite what the City of Culture judges saw in Dundee is a mystery

Also without sin and eager to cast stones is our own Press & Journal. By now Old Susannah readers know about the cosy relationship between its editor Damian Bates and Sarah Malone Bates, face of Trump golf in Scotland.

Bates’ faultless love life conduct and professional bearing dictate the editorial policy that allows him to use the P&J to tell us to be ashamed. And that, as they say is a Result.

Quite what the City of Culture judges saw in Dundee is a mystery – they have an arts centre with programmes for all ages to create, discuss and view art, socialise and engage with each other. They have embraced their old buildings and, in Brownfield sites created new spaces for the arts.

They have turned their waterfront not into an extended industrial harbour as is proposed for Torry’s remaining unspoilt coast, but instead created a pleasant, social meandering walk from restaurants and bars to historic sailing ships. (If you haven’t visited the Unicorn or the Discovery, I recommend you do so).

Their shops are in part filled with small designers and local merchants who can afford the rates. They must have bribed the judges. And not a web in sight.

I can think of one other cultural crack in our granite culture bid. That is our disappointing crime culture. The guilty know who they are – because the police shamed them in the P&J issue of 18 June.

Guilt: (Eng. Noun) responsibility, culpability for an event, problem or issue.

This car crime that plagues Aberdeen – the police know who’s behind it, and they’re doing something about it. No, they’re not re-establishing the Facebook page ‘Aberdeen Stig Boy Racers’. You may recall this website which operated under the watchful eye of our police – over 400 people bragged about / supported/ joked about car theft, including posting ‘how to’ schematics.

Of course this was in no way a problem; the police never criticised it at all. Perhaps they were using it as a handy way to detect crime.

It’s not the thieves who are at fault

Some might think preventing crime by having police doing the rounds, or by not allowing people to glamourise crime might have been a better idea, but there you go.

These Stig theft fans were only engaging in harmless banter. The real culprits should hang their heads in shame. According to the P&J 18 June:-

“Police blame careless owners for car thefts.’

Yes that’s right. Those selfish, greedy, careless people who don’t lock their cars 100% of the time and/or who keep keys in their kitchens or near their front doors are guilty as sin. They’re asking for it.

It’s not the thieves who are at fault; it’s the people who want to think their belongings shouldn’t be stolen from their garages or their homes. Of course in terms of violence against women, the idea that women are ‘asking for it’ has been deemed offensive and inaccurate.

When it comes to car owners though – fair enough for the police to say they bring it on themselves. That is what we call progress.

I’d like to ask everyone who’s ever not locked their car, everyone who keeps keys in their properties which could be seen by a thief innocently casing the joint and pressing their nose to the glass to do the right thing. Turn yourselves in.

You can’t expect the police to be out on patrol everywhere (or indeed anywhere); they have some really dangerous people to deal with. I don’t mean ‘one man crime wave’ Mad Max Milligan who at 17 has stolen over £15k’s worth of goods He had a troubled background, and we need to cut him some slack. I mean the really dangerous people.

Guilty as charged is one hardened criminal, a Mr. X. I won’t name him for fear of reprisals.

He was given a lenient £300 fine for his first offence – although a custodial sentence would have been more appropriate.

I only wish they had cordoned off streets at the time and tasered him.

This man, seemingly a mild-mannered engineering graduate with no criminal record was spotted by eagle-eyed police camera operations at Christmas time walking our city streets with – a small corkscrew.

The offensive weapon, still in its plastic wrappings, was deemed to be an a massive security threat, and worthy of the fine imposed. I only wish they had cordoned off streets at the time and tasered him.

I suppose the guilty party would have got off with a lesser fine, but he invented a ridiculous story, and claimed he won the corkscrew in something called a ‘Christmas cracker’. Ridiculous. If any of you out there are carrying nail files, corkscrews, pointy keys, knitting needles or hair pins turn yourselves in now, you too may get off lightly.

However, if you feel like walking into the £1 shop next to Moulton Brown and buying an air pistol and some pellets, the police are happy for you to do so, as long as you’re over 18 years old and are then obviously completely mature.

I’m just glad to know that somewhere, someone high up in our esteemed police force is deciding who to target, and the judicial branch is responding with appropriate sentences. We can all sleep easier tonight – as long as there is nothing valuable in our kitchens, downstairs rooms or cars.

Next week: more law enforcement news, BrewDog AGM, and more.

Letter From Aberdeen

Aberdeen City, Satire and Humour 2 Responses »

Jun 172013

The Aberdeen Voice has received a letter from a Mr I. Aymin, a retired ostrich baron from the small town of Aberdeen in the Cambedoo Mountains in South Africa. As it is our stated policy to represent the people of Aberdeen regardless of race, creed, colour, religion or apparently, geography, we have decided (albeit with some misgivings) to publish his message as requested.

Hello, My fellow Aberdeensians!
Since retiring from the large poultry business following a severe head-kicking from a rogue bird, I have been taking a keen interest in the many ‘Aberdeens’ around the world (32 at last count).
As a form of remedial neurological therapy, I can heartily recommend it.

Thanks to our wonderful new internet service (admittedly intermittent), coupled with it’s (let us be truthful) unreliable translation software, I have become aware of your city’s gallant attempt to be named ‘City of Couture 2017’ and feel I should show my whole-hearted support for our sister city.

I have to admire this brave move on the part of your tribal elders since, having looked at street scenes of your Aberdeen, the majority of citizens seem to be dressed by Primark or JLM Sports. This, however, only serves to reinforce the respect I have for the people of Scotland.

Before my family moved here from Uganda my great-uncle President Idi often spoke of the time he spent in your beautiful land while receiving the military training he later put to such good use.

Indeed he so admired the pluck of a small country seeking independence that he offered himself to be crowned King of Scotland. (You missed a trick there, you Scotties, instead of resenting the English for all these years; you could have been eating them!).

I must apologise for that digression – my mind wanders, my head aches and I often find that I have been ‘napping’ unknowingly. That damned bird!

On refreshing my internet link I find that your fair city is hoping to be named ‘City of Cutlery 2017’.

I fear you will face stiff opposition from Sheffield! (I see the ostrich hoof coming at me in my dreams!)

Looking again at pictures of all the new and planned architecture of your city – the office buildings, hotels and shopping malls – I have little doubt that you will be successful and you shall indeed be named ‘City of Clutter 2017’.

– Best Wishes, I Aymin (rtd.)

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Old Susannah No. 121 – Creative Writing

Opinion, Satire and Humour 4 Responses »

May 242013

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

Another busy week flies past in our future Capital of Culture: this weekend sees some great artistic talent on show. The Aberdeen Artists’ Society exhibition is a great, enjoyable, eclectic collection of contemporary art, currently running at the Art Gallery.

There were some interesting interactive works (bring your smart phone), a few very striking works (one by Mr Florence particularly caught my eye), and some intricate glass etching.

Keith Byres was one of the exhibitors, and I will be stopping by at Under The Hammer on Saturday to see some of his other new work.

The River Don Project is a collection of photographic images reflecting the River Don area. The opening for this show is on Saturday 1^st June from 5pm to 7 pm in St Machar’s Cathedral, and all are welcome.

Local photographers spent time with Alicia Bruce documenting the river. In particular there are some amazing wildlife images which caught my eye, of birds, seals and beautiful plants along the river. We have a great many artist-led cultural initiatives; please do show your support by visiting some if not all their shows.

The creative arts are assuredly flourishing, but perhaps it is in creative writing that our area truly excels. Never mind the likes of authors John Aberdein, Fiona-Jane Brown, Graeme Milne and Stuart MacBride; it’s the civil servants, planning officials, newspaper execs and ATOS which have provided some amazing prose this week.

People have sent me replies that they’ve had from ATOS and the Press & Journal. I think you’ll enjoy these. I’ve read the recent report by Anne Ramsay of Aberdeenshire Planning Office, recommending a green light for Trump, despite deviation from the approved plan. He got his way, which is of course a huge surprise.

He couldn’t have done it without Ms Ramsay’s report-writing skills. With a few strokes of the pen, a giant, unapproved bund of earth plonked in front of Susan Munro’s cottage, which brought many problems has been transformed into a landscape feature. The pen is mightier than the sword, or indeed than the truth in this case.

In fact, the pieces of writing I’m referring to are amazingly convincing, so much so that I want to share them.

You too will realise that the Trump course is the greatest spot on the planet, that the P&J is the champion of truth and accuracy, that ATOS really cares deeply about everyone it deals with, and that there are no drawbacks whatsoever to building an industrial marina in Nigg Bay.

It is time for some truth-related definitions and more importantly, some of the greatest examples of creative writing you’re likely to come across outside of a Jeffrey Archer novel. Diogenes was a figure in Greek mythology who searched high and low for an honest man. He clearly should have stopped into our Shire council offices and newspaper’s newsrooms.

Universalism: (noun) A school of thought in which truths are unchanging black-and-white facts acknowledged and recognised.

A Universalist believes that some truths are fixed and unchanging. ‘A Site of Special Scientific Interest’ means a legally-binding designation which protects areas from damage or development. This would once have been an example of Universalism. In this school of thought, facts are respected and held to be true unless proved otherwise.

This school of thought has no business in the city or shire today. We are happy to compromise on inconvenient facts and truths concerning planning law, environmental protection, anything really, just to prove that we are ‘open for business’. What we need for the ‘smart successful Scotland’ we’ve been promised is a little less Universalism and a whole lot more Particularism.

Particularism: (noun) A school of thought in which ‘truth’ is subject to change, depending on circumstances, depending on relationships between people and groups, and other factors.

‘A Site of Special Scientific Interest’ means a flexible designation which may or may not matter depending on who wants the designation removed. This is an example of Particularism. And we certainly do have our own Particular brand of truth in the Deen.

Let me share some examples of this convenient form of truth to illustrate the point.

Letter from ATOS

You may remember a recent Aberdeen Voice article on the experiences of David Brazendale with ATOS. He was ordered out of his post-op bed to go and get a work assessment.

Arriving at the Aberdeen ATOS centre, he was told he’d have a two hour minimum wait. Any other person who’d just been under the knife would have been happy to sit on a hard chair in an empty waiting room for two hours or more.

I guess David was just being difficult, but for some reason, he wasn’t happy. To be fair to ATOS, there was a crowd of one other person in the waiting room. David really shouldn’t have bothered the terribly busy receptionist, but he asked if he could come back in two hours rather than hanging around. Obviously, this was not possible.

For some reason or other, David wasn’t satisfied with this state of affairs.

The written ATOS policy statement says people will be telephoned if there are cancellations or delays. Of course, people have no excuse, surgery included, for missing an ATOS appointment, and rescheduling is not an option given to the ‘clients’, as ATOS chooses to call people.

Mr Brazendale wrote a letter of complaint, and got a wonderful, warm, helpful reply:-

“I have obtained comments from the Service Delivery Manager responsible for Atos Healthcare in Edinburgh… I was very sorry to read of the upset and inconvenience caused by the waiting times….On this occasion the reason for Atos Healthcare not being able to conduct an assessment was because more customers attended appointments than anticipated and the assessments took longer than anticipated to complete, which caused a delay and in some cases, customers had to be sent home unseen …the receptionist did not call you beforehand to advise you of this, as she had no indication of how many customers would arrive for their appointment or how long each assessment would take. I do sincerely apologise for the upset and inconvenience you have experienced…”

Some people might think the above is just a bunch of meaningless drivel with little application to the actual truth of the matter. But we know better, poor ATOS.

Not only do they seem to have no manager in Aberdeen, they have absolutely no way of telling who will come to an appointment or how long an appointment will last. Amazing. I pity the poor receptionist who has no idea who’s coming or how long they might be. Perhaps they are using crystal balls and tarot cards?

The way my medical practice operates is this. They have this thing called a ‘schedule’. They know how many doctors will be in each day, and they make these things called ‘appointments’ for patients.

They limit the number of ‘appointments’ and ‘patients’ so that there aren’t any long waits. If for instance a morning appointment was running very, very late, they would actually use a ‘telephone’ and call the next ‘appointment’ to let them know about the lateness. It is complicated, but I think ATOS should be told.

The worst part is that because of David’s selfish complaint, the poor, overworked ATOS manager had to look into the situation all the way from Edinburgh and issue a sincere apology. The ATOS manager is now probably very very upset and worried about causing someone an inconvenience, as they’ve never done this before.

David should be ashamed, and the manager should take some time off work to recuperate from stress, much like ATOS lets others recover from stress and illness.

Fabrication: (noun) An invention or creation; an untruth.

While I was trying to think of examples of fabrication, I coincidentally came across the web page for Trip Advisor.

I had been looking for reviews of the Trump course and clubhouse following a harsh Press & Journal review of the clubhouse restaurant. They’d only given it 27 out of 30 points, which just goes to show how fair and impartial the P&J is. While trying to find other reviews for this excellent restaurant, I wound up on Trip Advisor. Well, I was not sure whether I was on Trip Advisor or Confused.com…

Having read the superlative review by a Press & Journal writer of the Press & Journal Editor’s wife’s company restaurant, I expected that others would also adore the course and the food. From the polarised reviews of the course and the food, I felt sure there must be two Trump International premises in Scotland. To some reviewers one seems to be the best golf course ever invented.

To others, the Trump complex is an expensive waste of time and money. I suspect there is some fabrication going on.

Apparently there are people who actually place fake reviews on Trip Advisor! These people fabricate reviews to endorse or condemn hotels and resorts.

Clearly, it is a wonderful course with great food, all affordably priced and perfect.

Worse, these people often hide behind pseudonyms and/or don’t disclose whether they have a connection to the place they’re reviewing. I can hardly believe someone would conceal an interest in a place while writing about it, it’s enough to make a bride blush.

How can you tell which are genuine reviews and which are fake? Perhaps a clue can be found in how long the reviewer has been with Trip Advisor and how many other reviews they have submitted, I thought. You might for instance be suspicious of reviewers who have only reviewed one or two venues and who are brand new to Trip Advisor.

However, my theory didn’t stand up to the test, for many if not most of the pro-Trump reviews are from those who have only been to one other place and/or are brand new to Trip Advisor. Clearly, it is a wonderful course with great food, all affordably priced and perfect.

I suspect the people who said they didn’t like it are guilty of fabricating negative publicity, and the people who say it is great must be the honest ones with no possible self-interest. Here are some of the comments:-

Trip Advisor pro-Trump comments: Obviously Genuine:

Tony M (1 review) “If you have one course to play in your lifetime, make it this one… facilities and staff are superb… (Trump) has done a fantastic job… only problem I can see in the future is if they stick this wind farm up….”

GolferKnowledge (1 review) “…the course is to-date in very good condition… extremely playable… not a course to miss if your [sic] serious about your golf.”

PHFJones (1 review) “(Trump) has created a wonderful addition to the top 20 courses in the world… if you like links golf, this is one that must be on your list…”

James B (2 reviews) ”… if it is not listed as not just the best course in Scotland but the best course in the world in the next 5 years… then it is an absolute crime”.

It’s almost as if these people were reading from the same hymn sheet. Since they all agree, they have to be right. Now to the less favourable comments from people who think the greens are greener elsewhere.

Trip Advisor anti-Trump comments: Obviously Fabrications:

Jack G (2 reviews) “overpriced … must be to buy more grass seed as there is missing grass on the fairways, many more traditional links nearby for half the fee.”

StuckinAberdeen (5 reviews) “Half of the fairways looked like Roger Moore’s hairweave, acres of sandy soil crisscrossed by interlocking thin green lines of freshly planted grass that had failed to grow this season…. We were given no warning how poor the fairways were…The course should not be opened until it is in a playable condition.”

GeraintE (3 reviews) “the condition of this course is worse than any other I have played in Scotland. Staff are blaming the weather, but the fact is they have the wrong type of grass on the fairways!”

Poor Mr Trump! Poor Malone Bates! How anyone can complain about the marvellous course is unclear. I hope Trump will start issuing some more lawsuits to see off the fake reviewers, and that Trip Advisor will likewise have a look at the reviews on its website to see if there are any patterns indicating that fabrication is going on.

Disingenuous: (adjective) To knowingly feign ignorance or innocence; to distort the truth deliberately.

As you know, the happy union of Sarah Malone (VP Trump International, Face of Aberdeen) and Damian Bates (Press & Journal) is a fact – or Universal Truth, to use a previous definition. There is a marriage license.

Seeking more information on our favourite power couple, someone wrote to ask why the P&J didn’t make more of this happy event, which mysteriously got no press cover in Bates’ paper. I wonder why that could be. The letter writer asked why Malone, so often quoted in the P&J, Evening Express and more on behalf of Trump, and Bates getting married wasn’t front page news.

I am grateful to have been copied in on the wonderful response the P&J sent. Here is what the P&J have to say on the matter:-

“Beware of using Private Eye as the sole basis for your assumptions about the Press and Journal! I would say their tone on this particular subject has been skewed in a certain mischievous direction. As a result, you have duff info, I fear: the Trump employee to whom you refer is not his “chief spin doctor” and neither has Press and Journal coverage been biased. Sorry to spoil the story!

“The integrity and fairness of the Press and Journal has always been one of our core strengths and remains so today. We actually check the accuracy of stories before publication, would you believe! If you were a regular reader, you would know this already. Perhaps I could interest you in taking a subscription!”

It may be tricky, but I suspect some Voice readers may spot one or two disingenuous sentiments in the above. And mischief making is going on as well! Never mind that the newlyweds have such mutually entwined interests, which no doubt adds to their marital bliss, the information is ‘duff’.

Sarah Malone, VP at Trump, might be the person in Scotland who makes the statements to the press, but clearly Private Eye’s description of her as ‘chief spin doctor’ is wildly inaccurate, and throws the whole story into disrepute. Alas! The story is spoiled, according to the email’s sender, David ‘whata’ Knight.

As to the Knight’s tale: the integrity and fairness of the P&J, and the accuracy of its stories, checked before publication, well, words fail me. I am certain Private Eye will now print a complete retraction and apology as soon as they are aware of Knight’s email.

Obviously our trusted officials, newspaper supremos, planning officers and ATOS managers wouldn’t put pen to paper to say something which wasn’t true. The point is that truth is no longer straightforward. I’m certainly not going to call any of the writers I’m talking about blatantly dishonest, self-serving, disingenuous liars, although I can see why some people might.

Next week: Hopefully a reply from MEMAG: they were asked questions about environmental protection at Menie as this is their remit. I’ve been waiting since January, no doubt a detailed response to allay environmental concerns can’t be far off now.

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Smithy’s Scribblins No. 5 – Aboot Gweed Menners

Aberdeenshire, Opinion 1 Response »

Apr 182013

By Bob Smith.

A wis brocht up tae believe gweed menners wis a necessary social skill.

Onybody faa displayed ony kine o bad menners wis leukit on as a social pariah. Ye war learn’t bi yer mither an faither an teachers aboot sic things so a ayewis thocht fowk faa war lackin in the skills o gweed menners hidna bin brocht up richt. Nooadays a think it still is a bittie doon tae parents bit it’s maybe a society thingie as weel.

There are still a lot o weel mennered fowk gyaan aboot bit the increase in ill-mennered cyaards is een o society’s curses

Noo yer hardly likely tae mak a gweed impression if yer rude an abrasive,an ye see plenty o iss type o cairry on in TV programmes. Fer instance TV an radio interviewers askin somebody a question an then interruptin afore the bodie bein askit the question feenishes answerin. TV soaps faar scraichin, bawlin an insultin fowk wid appear tae be the norm.

Nae wunner fowk are becumin mair ill-mennered. We hear aboot fit they ca “road rage”. Iss is jist anither name fer bad menners fin ahint the wheel o a motor vehicle. Stickin the finger up an yellin obscenities jist cos some craitur micht be huddin fowk up is mair an mair noticeable. Cairryin o a blether or haein their mobile switched on at the picters or the theatre is anither example o modern day ill-mennered tykes.

A’ll tak ye back aroon 50/60 ear ago tae a time fan gweed menners wis jist expectit o fowk.

Fin ye wis oot on a date wi a quine ye aye waakit on the street side o the pavement. Iss gings back ti the days fin gentlemen protectit their weemin fae the perils o the road an the gutter. A still git a richt glower fae the wife if a forget tae dee iss.

Ye aye held the doors open fer fowk faa war ahint ye tae waak throwe an ye aye got a thunk ye fer deein so. An ye sure as hell lessened the chunce o anither date if ye didna staun up an hud yer quine’s coat fer her tae pit oan if yer war oot fer a cup o coffee in a cafe or a restaurant (ye only took quines oot fer a meal if ye war “gyaan steady” cos wi wages bein fit they war back then, ye cwidna affoord tae dee iss verra afen).

Fin ye took a quine tae the picters ye aye pyed fer baith seats. A chiel wid hae bin black affrontit if the quine hid offered tae “gyang dutch”, an ye nivver refused a ladies’ choice at the duncin even if the quine wisna tae yer taste. It wid hae bin leukit on as bein the hicht o bad menners.

Iss applied tae baith sexes bit a quine cwid refuse tae dunce wi a chiel if he wis the warse fer weer wi booze.

Mannies an loons ayewis got up tae gie somebody o mair mature ‘ ears or the opposite sex a seat on the bus if it wis staanin room only. Sweirin in front o weemin wis a thing ye verra rarely heard. Nooadays it’s maistly the weemin faa dee the sweirin.

As a said at the beginnin o aa iss there are still some fowk faa display gweed menners bit they’re gettin a bittie thinner on the grun. A div like the followin quote “Treat fowk as ye wid like tae be treated. Karma’s only a bitch if you are” TV an radio interviewers please tak note.

O aye, an espeecially you as weel Mr Trump.

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New Lanark – A Mexican Menie?

Environment, Featured, News 3 Responses »

Apr 052013

This will be a familiar story to those Aberdonians who tried and failed to stop the Donald Trump golf development on the Menie Estate North of Aberdeen. By Duncan Harley.

A powerful multi national company files a highly controversial planning application with the local council, debate and consultation takes place and planning consent is granted despite environmental considerations.

Local voices are silenced and the powers that be give the go ahead for the development.

Only this time it’s the UNESCO World Heritage Listed village of New Lanark and the iconic Falls of Clyde which are under threat.

New Lanark is best known as the social experiment set up by Robert Owen. Owen, a social reformer, had seen first hand the results of the abuse of the labour force in the early stages of the Industrial Revolution and formed the opinion that better conditions would improve production as well as improving the lives of the workers in the cotton mills.

Robert Owen’s view was that a “permanent cause of distress was to be found in the competition of human labour with machinery and that the only effective remedy was the united action of men and the subordination of machinery.”

Between 1799 and 1813 he improved the lot of the workforce at New Lanark. He introduced educational provision for both children (who formed a significant portion of the workforce) and adults and improved housing and access to basic foodstuffs by pioneering the Cooperative Movement. Street lighting was provided as was free access to medical treatment and state of the art sanitation and water supplies.

The village of New Lanark became a model for social reformers both in the UK and across Europe.

By the 1960’s however the village was under threat from general neglect and the mills finally closed in 1968.

The Lanarkshire County Council of the time seemed largely uninterested in the village and it was only through the work of the New Lanark Association that the buildings and heritage survived. Houses were renovated and over time the village gained a new status as both a living museum to social reform and an historic place to live and enjoy the beauty of the surroundings.

This is a council with a long history of unusual decision making however.

In the 1970’s the Hamilton Palace Grounds were sold off to developers and are now home to such iconic brands such as “Carpet for You World” and “DIY Disaster Planet”.

This despite the land having been left “in perpetuity” to the people of Hamilton by the Duke of Hamilton’s estate.

Also in the 1970’s the council approved the plan to create Strathclyde Park which neatly packaged the flooding of the local marshland habitat of Bothwell Haugh to create a weed infested nitrate rich waterway with a US style fast food “Fun Park”.

Locally the park is known as Junkie world and most folk avoid the place in the summer evenings due to the risk of being run down by joy riders or even mugged.

The industrial heritage of the area was largely ignored and local opinion was also largely ignored. The various layers of local government felt that they new best. Sound familiar?

Then along came a few new industrialists who have promised the area income from open cast mining. The Clyde Valley is now scarred with open cast coal and sand workings. The idea of course is to strip back the topsoil for re-instatement when extraction is complete. However the nature of the process means that woodland, grassland, dykes, copses and hedges are destroyed and wildlife habitat at best interrupted and at worst completely destroyed.

Now it seems that Comex, a Mexican multinational mineral extraction conglomerate have filed an application to expand existing opencast quarrying operations just upstream from New Lanark village at the Falls of Clyde.

The falls are the power source which powered the Robert Owen mills and are a rich habitat as well as an iconic beauty spot. The proposed new opencast workings will be visible from the New Lanark valley and the noise of the extraction machinery will invade the tranquillity of the heritage village.

Comex are of the opinion that the 3.6 million tons of sand and gravel it plans to extract from the countryside beside the falls will have no visual impact. Campaigners completely disagree. Many fear that the potential loss of UNESCO status will further damage the site since the initial 6 year extraction application will no doubt lead to further applications in the future and if the UNESCO listing is withdrawn it makes it more likely that subsequent applications will in fact be approved.

The area is supposedly protected by a series of planning policies. In 2012 it was promoted to a Category 1 Area – representing the highest level of protection against quarrying. But given the history of the local authority in the past and the pressure for inward investment the local’s and protest groups such as Save our Landscapes (SOL) are very concerned to say the least.

Why, I hear you ask, should this matter to the folk of Aberdeen and the North East?

Scotland has a mere four UNESCO listed World Heritage Sites. In no particular order of importance they are St Kilda, New Lanark, Edinburgh Old and New Town and Skara Brae in Orkney.

There are in fact 4.5 if you count the shared listing of the Antonine Wall with Hadrians Wall and the Northern Roman Empire’s Reaches but it may be better to let Alex Salmond sort out that issue sometime in the future.

The UNESCO World Heritage List includes 962 properties worldwide forming part of the cultural and natural heritage which the World Heritage Committee considers as having outstanding universal value.

The Criteria for Selection are stringent and loss of listing can occur if the criteria ceases to be met due to changing circumstances or failure of a country’s politicians to protect the site.

To be included on the World Heritage List, sites must be of outstanding universal value and meet at least one out of ten selection criteria.

These include:

To represent a masterpiece of human creative genius.
To exhibit an important interchange of human values, over a span of time or within a cultural area of the world, on developments in architecture or technology, monumental arts, town-planning or landscape design.
To be an outstanding example of a type of building, architectural or technological ensemble or landscape which illustrates a significant stage in human history and to be directly or tangibly associated with events or living traditions, with ideas, or with beliefs, with artistic and literary works of outstanding universal significance.

New Lanark ticks all of the above boxes!

According to UNESCO:-

“Heritage is our legacy from the past, what we live with today, and what we pass on to future generations. Our cultural and natural heritage are both irreplaceable sources of life and inspiration. Places as unique and diverse as the wilds of East Africa’s Serengeti, the Pyramids of Egypt, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, the Potala Palace in Lhasa, Tibet and the Baroque cathedrals of Latin America make up our world’s heritage.”

According to the protest group Save our Landscapes, if the new opencast workings are given the go ahead:-

“The quarry would destroy the landscape that forms the setting of New Lanark and the Falls of Clyde”.

If the situation resonates with you then you may wish to consider e-mailing Michael McGlynn, Head of Planning at South Lanarkshire Council. His e-mail address is planning@southlanarkshire.gov.uk and you should to quote planning ref: CL/12/0525 and give reasons for your concern or objection.

You might also wish to contact your local MSP although you should be aware that Aileen Campbell, MSP for the area, has assured constituents:-

“Historic Scotland are taking their role very seriously.”

This, despite the fact that to date Historic Scotland has done little to intervene apart from stating that the quarrying operations will not be visible from much of the site and that the extraction process by the Mexican quarry firm will only be for six years.

Mexico has 31 UNESCO listed sites including the Whale Sanctuary of El Vizcaino in Baja and the Ancient Industrial Facilities of Tequila near the Rio Grande River.

I suspect that any Scottish firm wishing to extract minerals from these heritage sites would be subject to ridicule by the Mexican authorities. Let’s hope the local and parliamentary bodies in Scotland see sense on this issue.

Sources:

Save our Landscapes: http://saveourlandscapes.moonfruit.com/#/new-lanark/4555343294
Times Article: http://www.clydesdalesheritage.org.uk/new-lanark-embarrasment/
UNESCO: http://whc.unesco.org/en/list
About New Lanark: http://www.newlanark.org/
Observer, Scottish Town fights for Rights: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/mar/31/new-lanark-heritage-industry-clash
Hamilton Palace: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton_Palace#The_site_today

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Spikkin Doric

Aberdeenshire, Creative Writing No Responses »

Feb 022013

By Bob Smith.

A’ve ayewis spak the Doric
Sin a wis jist a loon
A dialect still weel loo’d
Fae the Spey tae Bervie toon

Fin a wis at the local skweel
In classrooms it wis banned
Ye were threatened wi the scud
Fit wid hae wairmed yer hand

Bit eence oot in the playgrun
It flowed oot o yer moo
An wi yer freens an neipers
Doric wisna thocht taboo

We canna lit iss language dee
It’s pairt an paircel o oor lan
The Doric an the North east
They aye gyang han in han

A’m loathe tak in fit a’m hearin
Young fowk canna say “ch” as in loch
Fit’s the warld cumin tae
If ye canna git yer tongue aroon roch?

Doric wirds are mair expressive
Than onything else ye micht hear
Thunk hivvens fowk still spik it
In kwintra placies like New Deer

The braw wird “dreich” a like
Instead o jist sayin “dull”
Or maybe gyaan “heelster-gowdie”
As ye tummle doon a hull

Robbie Shepherd he still spiks it
An a Doric sang he’ll sing
Sin the days o “The Garlogie Fower”
Iss chiel’s bin the Doric “king”

Lits aa fecht fer the Doric
Hae it taacht in aa the skweels
Instead o aa the lah-de-dahs
Thinkin the Doric is fer feels

Ghost Writers? – Xmas Cultural Events In Old Torry

Aberdeen City, Events, Featured No Responses »

Dec 102012

Two fantastic cultural events take place at the Old Torry Community Centre this weekend.

Hidden Aberdeen Tours and The Lemon Tree Writers present an evening of spine tingling Victorian Ghost stories.

Friday 14 Dec at 7.30pm

Tickets are £5 and £2.50 for concessions.
Available from the Torry Library or you can email us to reserve.
Also available on the door on the night.

Quids In will be performing a multi media production of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

Saturday 15 Dec at 7.30pm

Tickets £8. Concessions available.
Tickets can be purchased from The Torry Library or http://www.skiddle.com.

Email oldtorry@gmail.com to reserve.

Old Torry Community Centre,
2 Abbey place,
Aberdeen,
AB11 9QH

Tel. 01224 894925
Email oldtorry@gmail.com
Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/oldtorrycommunitycentre

Dufton Scott – What Happened Next

Aberdeenshire, Featured, Information 1 Response »

Sep 132012

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug” Mark Twain.

Aberdeen Voice carried a feature last year about Katie Scott’s quest to have a commemorative plaque erected in Inverurie for her grandfather, the Doric writer and performer Dufton Scott. Here’s Katie’s update.

My task was to have a plaque designed and made. The chosen plaque makers, Leander Architectural, were very supportive and helpful, offering me several designs from which to choose.

I was clear about the wording; it needed to include, Dufton Scott – the refined and original Scottish humourist.

But this sparked some debate in the family. Do we say Scots or Scottish or, dare I say it, Scotch? This led to some interesting research.

I found no end of debates around these words which brought in other items of interest including,

Scot free – very interesting!

Scotch whisky

Scotch myths and Scotch mist, Scotch broth, Scotch tape, more commonly Sellotape.

Then we have English, Scottish, Irish, British, but American, Australian, Norwegian, Saudi Arabian, Brazilian.

This was a most enjoyable and interesting detour, as I love words and looking at their origins and derivatives and so on, but the choice seemed to be made for me. Dufton had described himself as Scottish humorist on an advertising flyer which I have. Note the spelling of his occupation , which led to another battle of words. A potentially expensive one for me, as I will shortly explain.

Once I had agreed the design, size and colour of the plaque, I double-checked the wording on it.

I was very happy.

It looked like this.

I paid for the production and delivery to Kellas, Solicitors. My next task was to arrange some kind of unveiling which proved to be much more difficult than I had ever imagined.

The Doric Festival is an important annual cultural festival. The unveiling of the plaque to Dufton Scott would be an appropriate festival event, so I contacted Sandy Stronach, Festival Director, who was keen to support and help me. He wrote this on last year’s Doric Festival website,

“Unveiling a Plaque at Inverurie

Robert Dufton Scott

A communiction from Katie es verra day means that it hisna bin possible tae get aathin thegidder for pittin up a plaque es eer!

But we’ll leave es message here as we’ll maist certainly pit on an event neist year!

So look oot for “Dufton Scott” in 2012!

Dufton Scott was a noted writer of Doric plays and performer, including Gavin Greig’s “Mains Wooin”.

Born in Forgue in 1880, he eventually ran a shop in Inverurie, dying in 1944.

Not before time his grand-daughter, Katie Scott, is organising to unveil a plaque to her grand-father at the site of the shop, now Stronachs,(sic) the Solicitor at High Street, Inverurie.

At this stage we do not have a date or time for the unveiling, but we have told Katie that we will be present and will help out with readings.

If like the Festival Director you remember Dufton Scott in his shop or if you remember performances of his works then this is an event you should not miss!

Keep an ee oot on es page fer the hinmast times fin they come tae han!”

Also supportive was Charles Barron, so it was with immense sadness that I learned that this great Doric playwright, academic, actor and teacher had died earlier this year.

I am also sad that I have been unable to stay in touch with Sandy, so I do not have any information about this year’s Doric Festival. If anyone has this, I would love to know, do please contact me.

Another who has been of great help is Lorna Alexander, who told me that she is to perform some of Dufton Scott’s work, as well has her own, in Inverurie on October 2 as part of the Luminate Festival. Since I have come to a complete dead end in finding out anything about this year’s Doric Festival, Lorna kindly invited me to attend her readings at the Acorn Centre. It will be wonderful to hear Dufton’s work performed, and exciting to see the plaque which will be erected by then, with one major correction.

As I was going through my box of things pertaining to Dufton, I looked again at the flyer which had sparked my word hunt about Scots or Scottish.

As I said, I have always loved words and dictionaries and am always keen to learn more.

So I experienced a strange feeling as I looked again at the yellowing flyer, at my grandad’s handsome face, and at the strange way he had chosen to spell humorist.

Why would he, a wordsmith, spell it incorrectly?

My expression changed from puzzlement to horror. Oh no! Did I ever even check the spelling of the word?

I dashed for my Collins English Dictionary, a huge tome, much-thumbed, heavy and lovely. I tore through the pages to find the blasted word.

Good grief.

The correct spelling, of course, because Dufton would not have got it wrong, is humorist, although this really does look wrong doesn’t it?

I scrambled to the phone, but it was a bank holiday and there was no answer from Leander Architectural. I got up first thing the next day, phoned, to be told that unfortunately the plaque was already made, and ready to ship that day. Thankfully, they agreed to stop the order but unfortunately the whole plaque had to be recast. As I said, a most expensive mistake, but I am sure the people of Inverurie will be happier to know that one of the town’s most famous residents is commemorated appropriately.

A group of the Scott family is descending on Inverurie for the first week in October. We shall take pleasure and pride in viewing the plaque on the wall of Kellas, Solicitors. We are looking forward to meeting Lorna and hearing her performance of two of Dufton Scott’s pieces. If you have any memories of Dufton Scott, do please get in touch. We could share a wee dram!

It would be wonderful if we could also find the other grandchildren of Dufton Scott. Our father was Gavin Scott, but he had a brother, Robert, who had two girls, Frances and Margaret. What a joy it would be if we could trace them too.