Jun 282013

Lets talk about …..Dogging. Dave Watt writes.

Dogging is a predominantly British activity that involves outdoor exhibitionism in car-parks, wooded areas and the like.
The term dogging originated in the early Seventies to describe men who spied on couples having sex outdoors. These men would ‘dog’ the couples’ every move in an effort to watch them.

When uninhibited couples discovered that open-air sex has its own special thrill they began meeting in car-parks, and the doggers found a new and rich supply of voyeuristic fun.

Moreover, the doggers soon realised that couples were actively encouraging them to watch, even performing for them, and sometimes allowing them to join in.

Is Dogging legal?

Currently in the UK dogging is mentioned in the sexual offences act under Section 66 – Exposure and Section 67 – Voyeurism.

Section 66 of the law specifically states that if doggers intend to cause alarm or distress to members of the public then they are breaking the law and face consequences. In other words, it is not illegal to have sex outdoors but you can get in trouble if an innocent passerby spots you and is offended.

So, if you’ve got a spotty bum let’s get Mr Clearasil to work and give those cheeks a good airing.

Dogging Requirements – A car. No matter how well developed your calf muscles, turning up on a bike is a real ‘no-no’.

To attract the attention of fellow doggers: flash either headlights or interior car lights.

Participation etiquette :

Interior car light on – invitation for any nearby doggers to watch.

Car windows open – invitation for any nearby doggers to touch, grope or feel.

Car door open – invitation for any nearby doggers to participate in sex act.

Bent naked over bonnet of your car  – basically an open invite to all comers although a certain amount of decorum in the shape of an orderly queue should be maintained. Play nice, people.

Why dog at all?

Although obviously the protagonists main motivation is sex many doggers cite such other benefits as getting out in the fresh air and meeting lots of new people.

Dogging in Aberdeen

The Counteswells Car-Park opposite the EquestrianSchool has a thriving evening turnover with Friday and Saturday nights apparently best for the serious dogger. Daytime action tends to be most common at Parkhill Picnic Area at the Bridge of Don although there are other areas around the city – down beside the river near Baker Hughes in Stoneywood and the road at the end of Leggart Terrace towards Banchory Devenick being two other favoured locations.

Top Dogs in the UK

A survey recently showed that the top areas for dogging in the UK are Essex (where their desire to embrace Nigel Farage is surpassed only by their desire to embrace each other naked in secluded car parks)  Kent and London with our own Strathclyde and Lothian, sadly, in the bottom ten. Hang your heads in shame, as they say, Strathclyde and Lothian.

A Window of Opportunity

However, with the failure of Southern Scotland in the dogging stakes is this not a golden opportunity for the Granite City to seize the moment by becoming Scotland’s Dog City? After the disappointment of Aberdeen not getting the UK’s City of Culture by apparently not sticking two million tons of concrete on top of a city park let us not be dismayed.

Let us instead look upward and onward and above all, innovatively.  Since Union Terrace Gardens aren’t going to be home to a conglomeration of chain stores that will bring in more tourists every year than the Grand Canyon how can we best utilise it  in its present format?

Simples. Let’s turn UTG into Britain’s first custom made Dogging Centre.

Commercially, this could be a goldmine for the city

Obviously a certain amount of work will need to be done, planting bowers and creating dogging bays around the perimeter of the Gardens and of course, some sort of one way system will have to be introduced for traffic control.

Other innovations could include the discreet lighting of trees lit from below as per the Tivoli gardens in Copenhagen which would add much to the nocturnal dogging scene and, for those inclement winter months, some outdoor heaters for the fair weather dogger.

Commercially, this could be a goldmine for the city with an entry dogging fee and fast food licences to be sold to prospective outlets. Obviously, after an evening of trouser antics out in the fresh air Mr & Ms Dogger (or Mr & Mr Dogger for that matter) are going to be dying for a fag and a good feed.

Perhaps Ann Summers might want to open a stall for those ‘last minute things’ that one of the protagonists has forgotten to pack. Attendants could also roam the Gardens selling KY Jelly, Viagra  and ‘interesting’ condoms.

For those doggers who wish to ‘show what they’ve got’ there could be the establishment of an entry fee spectators gallery overlooking the main action spots and for those doggers who want a record of the event we could initiate the sale of discreetly packaged DVDs.

Another nice earner could be the sale of souvenir t-shirts. with such ‘witty’  messages as ‘My Mum and Dad spent four hours dogging in Union Terrace Gardens and all they brought me back was this lousy t-shirt and some penicillin.’

Enterprising garages could tender for  a combined MOT and Service While You Dog offer. The commercial possibilities are endless. This is not the time for shilly-shallying –  we must seize the moment to put Aberdeen on the Dogging Map.

Over to you, Comrade Barney.

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  10 Responses to “Dog City?”

  1. Oh dear. Our “George” is going to go apoplectic at this one. He can add it to his hysterical rants about drunks and addicts which we mere mortals never see.

  2. Actually it’s a no comment from me, people can live whatever life they choose as long as it doesn’t affect my life.

  3. I am really impressed that the Voice is able to publish this stuff. Dogging, after all is a minority pursuit and wont sell digital papers. Perhaps the Aberdeen daily should take a lead from this initiative.

  4. George, that is the most honest and illuminating comment I have seen from you to date, and sums you up rather well … particularly the ‘as long as it doesn’t affect my life’.

    Kinda gives a new perspective to the folks you slur as red flag waving, backward looking, arran jersey wearing, brewdog frequenting, anti progress, etc,etc, etc, in that you appear to have a problem with folks who want to make a better environment for others ( including their offspring ) than just for themselves ….. Looks like you have just admitted that your real problem with your imaginary enemies is that they might just have the capacity to affect “your life” … you poor thing!

    Now George, how about you have a wee review of the occasions you have brandished the ‘NIMBY’ label at others, and reflect on how it fits on your own napper in light of the above post. It all becomes clear …. we are all stupid if we dare suggest that we value anything above what affects the life of George Smith …

    All hail Dod Smith for the value and status of his life is so much greater than the lives of all others that it must not to be affected by the views, acts or omissions by others whatever their social standing or term of office.

    … In fact, lets just do as ther above article suggests …. but rename Dogging as Dodding as a mark of reverence and respect, … hey, might even scare away all those hordes of junkies, winos, paedophiles, dirtbags, etc we are led to believe are a constant presence ( by folks who have never been there of course ) And so I say, ….. in the name of the Lord Dod, make it so! šŸ™‚

  5. Oh dear.

  6. Since Fred is the moderator of Aberdeen Voice, I understand that his comment is “satire” and not, as it appears, defamation. šŸ˜‰

    • Just about Annabel, although I must admit there’s also an indulgent streak of sarcasm in there as well šŸ™‚

      Must clear something up tho … I am one of a small number who act as moderator. Moderators always remain anonymous, acting impartially and representative of the team’s ethos, procedures and upholding agreed criteria re. publication.

      If I reply to a post as ‘Fred’ … or Fred@Aberdeenvoice, then the comments are mine as an individual, but I am no more entitled to breach guidelines and legal boundaries than any other individual. Having said that, recent team discussions have brought about a review of our criteria for dealing with comments, and the above comment of mine, although not actually defamatory, at least in a legal sense, would not now be published unedited. So tell you what? Next time I’m the Mod, I’m gonna do the right thing and moderate it šŸ™‚ … no point in trying to maintain standards and consistency if I leave something in place which does not set a good example.

  7. I was told yesterday that this was a top artical and I should give it a read. It has lived up to high expectations. Well crafted artical by a Mr Dave Watt, he should be proud of his handy work. Anyone know what colour of car he drives?

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