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Trump Film To Screen Again At Belmont

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Jun 222011

By Fred Wilkinson, with thanks to Tripping Up Trump.

Due to “unprecedented demand”, Aberdeen’s Belmont Picturehouse have shaken up their schedule in order to host a further 3 screenings of Antony Baxter’s controversial documentary film You’ve Been Trumped.
Donald Trump has publicly expressed that Anthony Baxter is a “fraud”, and that the film is “boring”, but that does not appear to resonate with those who have actually viewed the film.

Mr Trump it would appear, despite currently on a visit to the North-east to examine the “worlds greatest golf course”, will not be available to attend the additional screenings.

However, Mr Trump has been invited to a special US preview of the film 7 July in New York.

“If Mr Trump can’t stay in Aberdeen then we are happy to invite him to the screening in New York,” said Director Anthony Baxter.

According to Emily Richardson, Film Programmer for Picturehouse Cinemas:

“Following the unprecedented demand for tickets for the sell out Green Carpet Premiere and the follow up screening, The Belmont is delighted to be holding three further screenings of You’ve Been Trumped. We have been delighted with the amazing response to this very topical film and are very pleased to have been able to bring the film to the Aberdeen audience,”

The additional screenings will be held:-

Friday 24 June at 6.30pm
Saturday 25 June at 1.45pm
Sunday 26 June at 6.30pm

For more info, see: youvebeentrumped.com

Other Links …..

Trump film wins festival prize.

Voice’s ‘poetry mannie’ Bob Smith reviews YBT … ( See ‘The cafe 2’ column. )

Belmont_Picturehouse – Youve_Been Trumped

Aberdeen Voice Article – March 2011

Fin Yer Brain Is Fair Trauchled

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Information, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Jun 182011

By Bob Smith.

As ye growe aul dis yer brain retire
It sure dis cause ye frustration an ire
Ye myn fine fit happened in 1952
Fit ye did last wikk-ye hinna a clue

Ye meet an aul freen fin oot a walk
And aa ye can dee is taak an taak
In the hope ye can myn the mannie’s name
An ye dinna hae ti hing yer heid in shame

At the bottom o the stairs ye ken fit ye wint
Fin ye reach the tap yer brain its got tint
Were ye up for a hankie or maybe a purse
It fair maks ye hae a bit sweir or curse

Ye watch an aul film an the leadin lady
Her name Ah’m feart it is a bit shady
Is it Jane Russell or Yvonne De Carlo
Her hair is dark so it’s nae Jean Harlow

Name aat song-ye shud ken it fine
No it wisna sung bi Sydney Devine
Wis it maybe written bi Rodgers an Hart
Or Sammy Cahn or yon Lionel Bart

Ye can myn faa scored in the final o’ 59
The twa teams involved comes ti ye fine
Nae sae sure faa played last ear
Neen o them comes ti myn – oh dear!

Yer ain name of coorse ye myn it weel
So maybe yer nae sae bliddy feel
Bit faa’s aat wummin ?- it’s got ye licked?
Forget yer wife’s name an yer erse’ll get kicked

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”
Picture © Pathathai Chungyam | Dreamstime.com

McCaig’s Folly?

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Jun 102011

By Bob Smith.

A young chiel is bein touted
As leader o oor cooncil mob
A lot o fowk are speirin
Is the loon up ti the job?

A suppose the billie he dis ken
Fit a task he’d be takin on
The cooncil’s fair cash strappit
In iss toon twixt Dee an Don

A truly hope he his mair sense
Than cooncillors Malone an Dean
Faa some fowk hiv noo branded
Amang the worst they’ve ivver seen

Wull he hae the gumption
Ti staun up ti ACSEF’s ploys?
Or wull he turn oot ti be
Jist anither o ACSEF’s toys?

A hope the laddie disna think
Iss jobbie wull be a jolly
Or his tenure micht be kent
As Aiberdeen’s “McCaig’s Folly”

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011

Crushin The Spirit

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Information, Satire and Humour No Responses »

May 302011

By Bob Smith.

Chris Matthew’s bin in the local paper
Fer cairryin oot a daredevil caper
He pluntit a cone on tap o a spire
Raisin Gordon College’s heid yins ire

Noo there wis some danger ti the loon
As on the spire he wint up an doon
The school’s reaction wint ower the score
An the loon’s noo pairt o college fowklore

Ti remove the cone a crane they hired
Faa thocht o iss they shud be fired
Yer brain wi a question I wid tax
Hiv they nivver heard o steeplejacks

Thirteen hunner quid ti remove a cone
Shud hae us aa jist hae a moan
Foo muckle is charged bi the oor
It’s ower the tap aat’s fer sure

Health an safety’ll bin ti the fore
We canna noo fart bit some aul bore
Wull say their breathin’s been affected
Common sense nae langer detected

The spirit o the young we are crushin
Eccentricity ti the back we’re pushin
A schoolboy prank aa this wis
Yet some fowk are in a bliddy tizz

Gordon College fowkies shud lichten up
A wee reprimand geen ti iss young pup
It seems society’s lost the plot
The spirit o adventure we’ve forgot

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011

Fittie’s Future? – As Maybe Seen By ACSEF

Aberdeen City, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

May 202011

By Bob Smith.

The MS Europa wis ower big
Ti berth in oor hairbour watters
We ACSEF chiels are already thinkin
The toon’s reputation’s in tatters

We canna lose future tourist fowk
So eence mair we’ll use a trick
We’ll get aa oor PR billies
Ti lay it on richt thick

Us ACSEF chiels are the lads
Ti organise things in the city
We’ll jist hae a bunch o CPOs
Gien ti the fowk faa bide in Fittie

We’ll knock doon aa their hoosies
Syne mak the hairbour fine an big
An great muckle cruise liners can sail
Past the golf course ower at Nigg

Ach we ken the fowk in Fittie
Wull be tearin oot their hair
It’s for the gweed o the toon
So we dinna bliddy care

Noo there’ll be a lot o protest
So we’ll hae ti be richt fly
An git oor freens in the cooncil
Ti agree plans on the sly

Michty me we’re richt clivver
Eence mair we’ve worked a con
Noo fit aboot some ither plans
Fer a marina on the Don?

The Poetry Mannie’s used poetic licence
Fin writin iss poem’s verses
Bit shud iss fiction come ti pass
We’ll kick ACSEF fowk up their erses

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011

I Hiv A Dream

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Satire and Humour No Responses »

May 122011

By Bob Smith.

I hiv a dream
Said yon Martin Luther King
I ti hiv a dream
Some happiness for ti bring

I hiv a dream
The toon centre’s free o cars
I hiv a dream
Acsef are sent ti Mars

I hiv a dream
Ti banish aa poverty
I hiv a dream
Fae “money men” we’re aa free

I hiv a dream
We’ve nae bond wi drugs an booze
I hiv a dream
Rangers an Celtic aywis lose

I hiv a dream
Oor toon’s clean an bricht
I hiv a dream
The granite’s gien a dicht

I hiv a dream
Stop worshipin at the “money”altar
I hiv a dream
Multi Nationals start ti falter

I hiv a dream
Dinna listen ti Donald’s bling
I hiv a dream

Menie faimilies start ti sing

I hiv a dream
UTG’s left aleen as weel
I hiv a dream
Oor cooncil is less feel

I hiv a dream
Fowk see sense unfurled
I hiv a dream
We aa bide in a better warld

I hiv a dream
P&J’s nae langer the Trump Gazette
I hiv a dream
An impartial view ye’ll get

I hiv a dream
The sma shoppie it survives
I hiv a dream
Supermarkets nae langer thrive

I hiv a dream
Dons win a European Cup
I hiv iss dream
Syne I waaken up

I hiv a dream
We aa live in peace
I hiv a dream
Iss wid be some eese

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2010

The Question – Deid? or Fit?

Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

May 062011

By Bob Smith.

Osama bin Laden he is deid

So says President Obama

Bit iss is maybe nae the eyn

There could bi yet mair drama

Will Donald Trump believe it ?

Or micht The Donald pontificate?

An refuse ti believe Bin Laden’s deid

Withoot seein a death certificate?

Wi’ A Hooch An’ A Skirl

Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, History, Information, Satire and Humour No Responses »

May 062011

By Bob Smith.

Nivver myn The Duncin in Kyle
Lit me tak ye back a fyle
Fin on duncin I wis richt keen
In the halls o’ Garlogie,Echt an’ Skene

Ye birled ti bands like Bert Duff
Fin loons like me wid strut their stuff
Some at duncin war fair fleet
Ither eens they hid twa left feet

There wis ither bands like Mary Milne
Fa hid ye waltzin wi great will
Ye war up duncin an eichtsome reel
Hoochin an skirlin like a feel

Maist couldna afford a motor car
Bit they cam fae near an far
Buses, bikes an usin their feet
At wikkends they war nivver beat

Ye’d ask a quine up for a dance
Roon an roon the hall ye’d prance
Quicksteps, waltzes an foxtrots
Sometimes yer feet war tied in knots

Great times ye hid tull near midnicht
Some loons wid be an affa sicht
Een or twa hid ower muckle booze
The chunce o’ a date they wid lose

Duncin wis the time for ti chat
Ither quines fa maybe cam fae Clatt
Or deems fa bade up in Midmar
Fower o’ them cam doon by car

Noo an again a fecht wid occur
Like fin some feel wid cast a slur
On the virtue o’ a local quine
Oor dander wis then up ti ninety nine

We were aa Jock Tamson’s bairns
Ti the duncin for tae learn
Foo ti dee an eichtsome birl
An aa the lassies wid hooch an skirl.

Donald’s Tong Connections

Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Apr 292011

By Bob Smith.

Trumpie’s spies hiv bin lit loose
Nae doot aa lookin shifty
Diggin fer proof Obama wis born
In the USA state number fifty

Donald’s nae sure far Obama is fae
Disna think it’s in Hawaii
Noo his goons are doon checkin
Presidential birth rules div comply

Some allege Obama’s a Kenyan
An his nae richt ti be in the post
Bit the President’s mither’s American
So Donald jist awa an git lost

Noo dis Donald nae claim his mither
Born in Tong syne USA she did gyang
Maybe iss shud as weel be contested
Jist in case the mannie is wrang

Donald please gie us the proof
Yer mither cam fae the isles in the west
Let aabody see yer certificate o birth
An pit yer claims noo ti the test

Fox News are “trumpetin” Donald
Ti run for presidency of the US of A
Wi backin fae iss richt wing lot
Americans shud start ti pray

Wis Mary Anne born in Tong?
Wis Donald in Queens, New York?
Micht there be a bit o confusion
If it wis a bliddy useless stork

Aiberdeen’s “The Burj”?

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Apr 222011

By Bob Smith.

Anither iconic building we need
Is the view o yon Stewartie Spence
A luxury hotel like his nae less
Chargin mair than a fyow poonds an pence

Gie St Nicholas Hoose site awa says he
Ti some gweed developer chappie
Faa’ll build a great fantoosh palace
Ti keep the weel aff richt happy

A hotel nae doot fer the rich
Like the Burj ower in Dubai
A placie fer toffs ti swan aroon
Far prices are fair sky-high

Bit let’s hae an iconic building
Fer the less fortunate in oor toon
A placie fer the hameless ti bide
Wid be mair o a bliddy boon

Awa wi yer haverins Mr Spence
We’ve aneuch for the rich ti survive
We need ti look efter the poor
Faa’s lives hiv teen a bit o’ a dive

Nae doot he’ll class me “a traitor”
Fer nae wintin oor economy ti expand
Bit aboot the gap atween rich an poor
I’ll nae beery ma heid in the sand

O coorse anither use fer iss site
Is ti mak it a City Square
C’mon aa ye toon cooncillors
Aa it taks is a bittie flair

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