May 172013
 

Harvest Time By Bob Smith.

There is a Native American sayin “Treat the Earth weel. We dinna inherit the Earth fae oor ancestors We borra it fae oor children” Aat bein the case oor affspring are nae gyaan tae be verra happy wis us.

We’re makkin a richt bliddy pig’s erse o lookin efter the planet we aa bide on.

Een o the biggest problems wi hiv is foo we use the lan we bide on.

There his bin huge pressure pit on the Earth’s ecosystems since the Industrial Revolution. Afore aat maist fowk workit in the rural areas bit wi the onset o fit poet William Blake described as the “dark satanic mills” fowk moved intae growen toons an pollution fair belched oot o factory lums and the coal fires o the workers hames.

It is alleged carbon dioxide levels hiv increased  by 38% since 1750 an methane levels by 148%.

So aat wis  the stairt o oor planet’s problems bit thingies hiv gotten worse ower the past hunner ‘ear an speecially so in the past fifty.

There hiv bin “land grabs” fae the indeginous fowk o various kwintras tae further the interests o big business throwe mair minin, loggin an cattle ranchin, tae name bit three, resultin in the loss o lan fer agricuture so aat the fowk can nae langer feed thersels.

Forests hiv bin cut doon, fowk displaced,the habitats o animals destroyed, aa in the name o so ca’ed progress. The human race is spreadin its tentacles aawye usin up the Earth’s resources at sic a speed the planet hisna hid time tae recover.

Awa back in time fowk jist used fit they nott an leukit efter the natural world, livin side bi side wi the ither inhabitants o the Earth. Nooadays we hiv becum greedy an it’s a race tae see faa can mak the maist dosh an nivver myn if wi leave ahint a trail o destruction in the rush tae achieve economic growth.

As a chiel faa cums fae a fairmin backgrun it pains me tae hae tae write iss next bittie, bit modern intensive fairmin practices hiv,in ma opeenion, contributed tae the pollution o the lan an destruction o habitat fer a puckle birdies an animals.

As far as a can see verra little crap rotation is deen nooadays

A myn on ma faither, nae lang afore he passed awa, sayin he wis gled he wisna stairtin up in fairmin noo as it wis nae langer leukit upon as a wye o life bit mair a business controlled by faceless bunkers, reid tape, an the agri-chemical business.

Noo ma faither did use fertilisers bit he didna like pesticides.

As far as a can see verra little crap rotation is deen nooadays an as a result the grun becums soor an loses its nutrient value hince the reason mair an mair fertilisers hiv tae be used.

Spreadin gweed coo’s shite in its natural form is nae langer a practice widely used. Mair an mair slurry is gyaan on tae the parks an bein in liquid form can leak fae the lan intae ditches an burns an syne intae rivers.

Fairmers hiv ower the past fifty ‘ear pulled up hedgin an knock’t doon dykes tae mak the parks bigger tae accomodate the muckle big tractors an machinery. The hedges an dykes war refuges fer birds an wee beasties.

The loss o roch grassland, loss o mixed fairms, conversion tae arable craps only, an a switch fae spring tae autumn sowin a mak life difficult fer fairmland birds like the teuchat an the laverock.

The bee population is thocht tae be suffrin throwe the use o certin pesticides an yet the fairmers need the bees tae pollenate some o their craps so fit wye div they keep on sprayin? Ae answer is – bigger yields are leukit on as mair important than the birds an the bees.

Noo there is a smatterin o fairmers faa hiv decided tae gyang back tae een or twa o the auld wyes o producin food.There are a helluva lot mair faa need convincin.

A noo cum tae a bit fit wull nae mak me ower popular wi some fowk.

the human population is risin an we need hooses tae accomodate aabody

Reports hiv bin sayin fer ‘ears we are nae able tae feed oorsels in iss kwintra. Nae bliddy wunner, we hap productive lan wi concrete in the form o hoosin and industrial developments an hiv great ribbons o tar criss crossin aawye.

We are telt the human population is risin an we need hooses tae accomodate aabody an fowk need their cars tae get fae A tae B.

Maybe it’s time we aa stairted waakin mair afen an foo aboot bannin bonkin fer a ear or twa? Aat wid fair reduce the need fer sae muckle cars an wid gyang sum wye tae halt a population explosion.

Myn ye, ma suggestion o bannin bonkin micht increase the amunt o wankers gaen aboot.

Tae git back tae bein a bittie mair serious. John Muir, the great Scottish born American naturalist, eence said

The gross heathenism of civilisation has generally destroyed nature and poetry and all that is spiritual”

We maun aa therefor hae a leuk at fit’s gyaan on in the warld an try tae influence the eens in power aat continued economic growth micht pit in jeopardy the future fer oor affspring.

As lang as the warld an his mither ging aboot consumin ower muckle, the Earth suffers.

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May 092013
 

By Bob Smith. Corporate Tree 2

Boxes, boxes, boxes
Is aa we nooadays see
The “darlins” o modern architects
Be it Aiberdeen or Torquay

Thingies like yon Rubik’s Cube
O a Uni Library biggin
Leukin like the pint his run
A think it’s bliddy mingin

Union Square, o michty me
It’s jist aa steel an gless
Oor toon’s in the hauns o Philistines
Creatin a maist affa mess

The city skyline is fair important
Says Aiberdeen mannie Eric Auld
Seen throwe his artistic ee
Marischal Square it leaves him cauld

Fowk noo are fair upset
At fit they see gyaan on
Aa in the guise o progress
In the toon twixt Dee an Don

“Progress is jist the exchange
O ae nuisance fer anither”
So wrote  yon Havelock Ellis
Writer, Doctor an life giver

Boxes are fer storin things
Bit nae the human race
Stop biggins fit are jist bland
Dinna chynge oor city’s face

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image credit: Corporate Tree 2 © Andres Rodriguez | Dreamstime Stock Photos

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May 022013
 

By Bob Smith. st_nicholas_house-banner

We’ve aa hid a  leukie
At plans fer the “Civic Square”
Tae replace St Nicholas Hoose
Eence it’s aa laid bare
.
Bliddy stracht edged biggins
O the usual gless an steel
Nae flair fae the architects
The concocshuns o some feel
.
Iss is the wye tae go
We hear the planners bleat
Great innovative designs
As modernity we maun meet
.
Fit a load o bliddy crap
We hiv the chunce tae hae
A great open green space
Faar fowk can sit or play
Dinna bigg on the foons
O the concrete St Nic’s Hoose
Mak it intae a fine square
Lit yer imaginations loose
.
Open up the bonnie view
O the hoose o Provost Skene
Wi greenery jist aa aroon
Plunty space tae meet a freen
.
A place tae sit an see
The grandeur o Marischal College
An myn back tae it’s days
As a placie full o knowledge
.
Aiberdonians are fair fed up
O biggins nae bricht an jolly
Especially eens fit micht be ca’ed
The future St Nicholas Hoose folly

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

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Apr 182013
 

By Bob Smith.
kids-playing-on-aberdeen-beach-by-pete-thomson

I weel remember sunny days
Doon at aiberdeen beach
Fowk they were aa ower the place
As far as yer een cwid reach
.
There wis faithers in their bunnets
Wi’ troosers rolled up ti their knees
Mithers oot in their sunday best
Grunnies wrappit up agin the breeze
.
I myn the punch an judy shows
The sally army choir and band
Young fowk waakin airm in airm
As tho’ they war on the strand
.
Bairns lickin their ice cream
Or drinkin some lemonade
Bocht fae the inversnecky cafe
Or the washington on the esplanade
.
The inversnecky or the washington
War nae the only twa
faar you cwid buy ither things
Like candy floss or a rubber ba
.
If ye cwid fin a space
Ti sit doon on a rug
Oot wid come a picnic
Fae yer mither’s leather bug
.
Kites war flown up in the sky
Some wi bonnie paper tails
Sometimes een wid be let go
Fit brocht on affa wails
Then doon in past the carnival
Ti hae a shottie at hoop-la
Or maybe rollin the pennies
Wid win ye back een or twa
.
The dodgem cars i likit fine
The waltzers made ma queasy
At the various shootin galleries
My faither found winnin easy
.
I enjoyed the helter skelter
Faar ye slid doon on yer doup
Sometimes ye went aat faist
Yer hairt it gied a loup
.
There  wis boxin booths as weel
Faar young chiels hid a few goes
At  tacklin maybe a roon or twa
Wi lads fa were aul pros
.
Usually they nivver lasted lang
Bloody noses wis aa they got
But if they went the distance
A poond or so it wis their lot
.
At the end o a perfect day
Efter rinnin aboot on the sand
A  pokie o chips wis jist fine
Wi a mealie puddin in yer hand
.
.
.
©Bob Smith 9/3/2009
Image Credit: Pete Thomson
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Apr 182013
 

By Bob Smith.

manners A wis brocht up tae believe gweed menners wis a necessary social skill.

Onybody faa displayed ony kine o bad menners wis leukit on as a social pariah. Ye war learn’t bi yer mither an faither an teachers aboot sic things so a ayewis thocht fowk faa war lackin in the skills o gweed menners hidna bin brocht up richt. Nooadays a think it still is a bittie doon tae parents bit it’s  maybe a society thingie as weel.

There are still a lot o weel mennered fowk gyaan aboot bit the increase in ill-mennered cyaards is een o society’s curses

Noo yer hardly likely tae mak a gweed impression if yer rude an abrasive,an ye see plenty o iss type o cairry on in TV programmes. Fer instance TV an radio interviewers askin somebody a question an then interruptin afore the bodie bein askit the question feenishes answerin. TV soaps faar scraichin, bawlin an insultin fowk wid appear tae be the norm.

Nae wunner fowk are becumin mair ill-mennered. We hear aboot fit they ca “road rage”. Iss is jist anither name fer bad menners fin ahint the wheel o a motor vehicle.  Stickin the finger up an yellin obscenities jist cos some craitur micht be huddin fowk up is mair an mair noticeable. Cairryin o a blether or haein their mobile switched on at the picters or the theatre is anither example o modern day ill-mennered tykes.

A’ll tak ye back aroon 50/60 ear ago tae a time fan gweed menners wis jist expectit o fowk.

Fin ye wis oot on a date wi a quine ye aye waakit on the street side o the pavement. Iss gings back ti the days fin gentlemen protectit their weemin fae the perils o the road an the gutter. A still git a richt glower fae the wife if a forget tae dee iss.

Ye aye held the doors open fer fowk faa war ahint ye tae waak throwe an ye aye got a thunk ye fer deein so. An ye sure as hell lessened the chunce o anither date if ye didna staun up an hud yer quine’s coat fer her tae pit oan if yer war oot fer a cup o coffee in a cafe or a restaurant (ye only took quines oot fer a meal if ye war “gyaan steady” cos wi wages bein fit they war back then, ye cwidna affoord tae dee iss verra afen).

Fin ye took a quine tae the picters ye aye pyed fer baith seats. A chiel wid hae bin black affrontit if the quine hid offered tae “gyang dutch”, an ye nivver refused a ladies’ choice at the duncin even if the quine wisna tae yer taste. It wid hae bin leukit on as bein the hicht o bad menners.

Iss applied tae baith sexes bit a quine cwid refuse tae dunce wi a chiel if he wis the warse fer weer wi booze.

Mannies an loons ayewis got up tae gie somebody o mair mature ‘ ears or the opposite sex a seat on the bus if it wis staanin room only. Sweirin in front o weemin wis a thing  ye verra rarely heard. Nooadays it’s maistly the weemin faa dee the sweirin.

As a said at the beginnin o aa iss there are still some fowk faa display gweed menners bit they’re gettin a bittie thinner on the grun.  A div like the followin quote “Treat fowk as ye wid like tae be treated. Karma’s only a bitch if you are”  TV an radio interviewers please tak note.

O aye, an espeecially you as weel Mr Trump.

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Apr 052013
 

By Bob Smith.
Village house sale

A problem in rural Scotia
The scourge o modern day
Fan fowk faa hiv the money
Buy second hooses faar tae stay
.
Noo some young eens in the kwintraside
Leave skweel an wint tae bide
An gyaang tae wark near tae hame
Be it Skite or Deveronside
.
Bonnie hooses in rural villages
Snappit up bi fowk fae toons
Tae spend a wikk eyn or holidays
Oot-buyin local quines an loons
.
Holiday hames they are ca’ed
Faar ainers dinna bide at aa
Bit rint them oot tae tourists
Is iss nae bliddy eese ava
The young eens are the future
O the wee villages an toons
They’re haein tae leave the area
Cos o “second hame” bliddy goons
.
A hoose can be left empty
Fer wikks upon a time
Only bidden in noo an agin
Jist unused steen an lime
.
Holiday hames help oot tourism
Some fowk they div decree
Bit withoot a local population
The villages wull seen dee
.
.
.
.
© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Mar 282013
 

trumpgolfpic By Bob Smith.

Trumpie a see, wints tae hae a marquee
Plunkit richt in the middle o Menie
Haudin waddins an sic, fer ony rich prick
Fit am sure wull cost a fair penny

A marquee’s jist a name, fer a big tint on a frame
Far monied fowk can spik tae their pallies
Wull Trump be mine host, as pigs they div roast
An doon champers in a couple o swallies

Fae tap o marquee, flags ye micht see
Blawin stracht oot in the win
As sum drunken plunkers, faa intae the bunkers
Iss thocht it fair maks me grin

Nae doot Trump wull say, in his loodest bray
It’s the “Greatest Marquee in the Warld”
Fer the openin evint, invites wull be sint
As the Trump flags are infurled

Nae invite ye’ll see, tae the likes o me
Onywye a wid hae tae refuse
Local press wull be keen, tae mak sure they’re seen
So’s they hae the odd gin as they newse

As fowk dee a jig, fin samplin the pig
An lood music ower the dunes it is blarin
Wull oor boys in blue, stop the hullaballoo
Or micht they Trump badges be wearin

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Mar 142013
 

By Bob Smith.
st_nicholas_house-low

Jist hae a leuk, at the bliddy great plook
On the face o Aiberdeen toon
St Nicholas Hoose, nae langer in use
Thunk hivvens it’ll seen be knocked doon
.
It’s nae the only een, fit’s tae be seen
Aroon oor gweed city o granite
Union Square a confess, is jist concrete an gless
Mair suited tae an alien planet
.
We hiv shoppin malls, fer young guys an gals
Their shops ye can fin ony place
We hid the Co-opie arcade, wi units ready made
It disappeared withoot ony trace
.
Tak the New Market, wi wa’s fit are barkit
A biggin fit’s lost it’s soul
Knock the place doon, richt tae the foon
It’s nae langer fit fer it’s role
Iss toon o oors, destroyed bi sum boors
Faa’s ideas hiv stepped oot o line
Silver City by the sea, twixt Don an the Dee
His fair lost some o it’s shine
.
Architects wi nae vision, attractin derision
Shud be pit in Castlegate stocks
It shud be their plight, tae be peltit wi shite
Syne throw awa the keys o the locks
.
Planners tae hiv gin mad, iss is affa sad
It’s time tae tak them tae task
Tak back oor cities, fae thae Walter Mittys
Iss surely is nae much tae ask.
.
Reclaimin the toon, iss wid be a boon
Nae langer run bi Acsef an freens
Ordinary fowk hiv mair say, tae ensure fair play
Fin it cums tae spendin “the beans”

Bob Smith”The Poetry Mannie” 2013

 

Feb 212013
 

curlewtall By Bob Smith.

The whaup. Ma faavrit bird
wi its maist hauntin soon
a soond aat is embedded
sin i wis jist a loon

wi connach aa its habitat
its feedin gruns wi invade
wi really cwidna care a jot
as human arrogance wi parade

wi drain maist o oor weetlans
wi trumple doon oor grasses
why maan wi use up oor lan
jist tae satisfy the masses

we maan leave the whaup some space
fer it breedin an fer feedin
ere’s plenty room fer aa o us
if wi stop ayewis bliddy needin

© bob smith “the poetry mannie”  2013
Image credit: Sylvia Duckworth | Wiki Commons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feb 142013
 

Winter Man By Bob Smith.

It’s bin ma opeenion fer some time aat there’s nae aneuch eccentric fowk gyaan aboot in iss kwintra o oors nooadays.

Ye ken fit a meen, nae aneuch characters, nae aneuch worthies. 

Bertrand Russell eence said “Dinna fear tae be eccentric in opeenion, fer  ivvery opeenion noo accepted wis eence eccentric”.

Noo am nae spikkin aboot thae  pop star prats or sae ca’ed celebrities faa ging fer a nicht oot dressed as tho they war gyaan tae a funcy dress pairty an spik a load o borin crap tae the media. Maist o them dinna hae aneuch gumption tae be classed as eccentric or a worthie.

Some fowk nooadays are sae bland an predictable ye’d think they’d bin cloned. They hiv tae be seen tae be, as THE KINKS  sang said, Dedicated Followers o Fashion  or maan  hae the latest gadgetry in the warld o iphones, laptops, tablets, notepads etc. an if the telly viewin figures are ti be believed, only like ti watch soaps, reality TV shows an talent contests like X Factor.

As fer politeeshuns, be they Tories, Labour, Lib Dems, or SNP, there’s nae muckle difference atween ony o them fin it biles doon tae’t. Thank hivvens we’ve still got een or twa faa kick ower the traces, the likes o Dennis Skinner, an Margo MacDonald faa dinna folla ony pairty line an hiv the guts tae spik their myn.

Noo I dinna aye agree wi fit they spoot bit a fair agree wi them ha’en the richt tae spik oot. Ower mony politeeshuns are, in ma opeenion, in the hip pooches o the pairty wheeps or big business.

There wis a lot mair worthies  gyaan aboot fin a wis a loon. A can myn o a primary teacher at the skweel a wint tae, faa bikit tae her wark in aa withers, in the winter time weerin an auld belted trench coat, a leather helmet or a balaclava on her heid, a thick muffler an waldies. A bittie eccentric?

Aye an neen the war o’t, an aabody roon aboot, includin the heidmaister an ither teachers, thocht her affa gweed at her job an the bairns fair likit her as weel.

The eddicashun heid yins nooadays widna lit her throwe the skweel gates, mair’s the peety. There wis as weel an auld Sikh mannie faa  raikit aroon the kwintraside on his bike wi twa or  maybe three muckle leather cases strappit on the back fit held aa sorts o thingies – wifies’ stockins, combs, soap, dishtools, scrubbin brushes, widden claes pegs an black lead for the fireplace etc.

He only cam aroon aboot twice a ‘ear an maist fowk bocht somethin. He wis thocht o as a richt character.

the amunt o eccentricity in a society his generally bin proportional tae the amunt o genius

Aiberdeen fowk o a certin age wull a’m sure myn o Snuffy Ivy, a prostitute fae Torry faa wis kent as the teethless hooer wi a hairt an a hare lip an, as legend his it, wid perform een o her services fer a fish supper. Noo a maan add, a’m nae spikkin fae personal experience as a wis only a  sma geet in Snuffy  Ivy’s time. Eccentric? – maybe.  Worthie? – maist definitely.

A gweed fyow auler ceetizens wull myn o Cocky Hunter. Na, na, noo fowkies am nae spikkin aboot Snuffy Ivy  iss time! Iss weel kent chiel deel’t in second haun goods an war surplus an it wis said ye cwid buy onything fae a moosetrap tae a fower poster bed. Anither Aiberdeen worthie bi aa accoonts. There are mony mair a cwid meention bit there’s nae aneuch space.

Awa back in the 19th century, utilitarian thinker John Stuart Mill wrote that the amunt o eccentricity in a society his generally bin proportional tae the amunt o genius, mental vigour, and moral courage fit it contained.

Michty me it’s nae wunner today’s society is leukit on bi some as bein in a bittie o a doonward spiral.

Wull there be ony fowk jist noo faa wid be classed as eccentrics or worthies? Neen aat I can think o.

Een or twa micht be myn’t on– bit fer aa the wrang reasons. A gowf coorse at Menie, winfairms an Union Terrace Gairdens shud gie ye a clue.

Och bit wait a meenit, a’m forgettin Sam the Seagull, the feathered worthie fae the Castlegate faa,daily,  wid relieve a shoppie in the area o a packet o Cheese Doritos tae share wi his seagull pals. Myn ye it says somethin fin a seagull is the only eccentric or character in the toon, ower the last fyow ‘ear, worth meenshunin.