Oct 242012
 

A documentary about a golf course? On the face of it, this might not sound like a thrilling premise for a feature documentary. Then again, this is no ordinary golf course. And this is no ordinary film. Suzanne Kelly examines the impact of Anthony Baxter’s You’ve Been Trumped in the wake of the film being broadcast on national television.

You’ve Been Trumped is the story of a handful of Aberdeenshire residents, and what happens when two intrepid documentary makers dare scrutinise Donald Trump.

Despite the best efforts of the Trump machine to smear the individuals involved, discredit the film and stop its being shown on the BBC, You’ve  Been Trumped made its national television premier on 21 October 2012, some 16 months after its first outing.

Director Anthony Baxter may not have intended to stir up a hornet’s nest, but his film is playing a part in Scottish politics.

Grampian Police, Aberdeen’s newspapers, Creative Scotland, local and national government officials through to First Minister Alex Salmond – all come out of this story badly. 

What started as an investigation into life at the Menie Estate has taken in the issues of government accountability, wind farms, and even the release of Abdel Baset al-Megrahi, the Libyan convicted over the 1988 Lockerbie bombing.

You’ve Been Trumped: the early days

June 2011: a film is shown at the Belmont Cinema in Aberdeen; ticket demand is equalled only by sales for the last instalment of Harry Potter. This is local news. Local newspapers Aberdeen Press & Journal and its sister, Aberdeen Evening Express, completely ignore the film, however.

The film charts the arrival of Donald Trump at  Aberdeenshire coast’s Menie Estate which he has purchased, vowing to turn it into the world’s greatest golf course. The area, partially on a Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI), is protected by law. The local authority, Aberdeenshire Council, vote against the massive Trump development by one vote.

In an unprecedented move, the Scottish Government then call in the Shire’s decision and overturn it.

The film documents the very real, devastating effects on local residents who refused to sell up to Trump and leave their homes. It follows several of these people and accurately documents what life was (and still is) like for them with the arrival of Trump’s private security and construction workers. Experts with environmental, governmental and economic credentials are also featured explaining what is wrong with the development.

Trees are destroyed, mounds of earth are piled high around residents’ homes, power lines are broken, and residents’ property is invaded and destroyed. When the homeowners find their water supply has been ‘accidentally’ dammed by Trump’s team and seven days elapse without any remedial action, Anthony Baxter and Richard Phinney go to the estate office to ask what is being done.

At this point the documentary makers become the subject of their own film.

Visiting the estate manager to discuss the water issue, Baxter and Phinney receive a hostile reception and leave. They then visit resident Susan Munro, and a police car pulls up. A discussion between filmmakers and the police inexplicably, abruptly turns into a very physical arrest – all caught on film.

Genesis Of The Film

Baxter grew up further down the coast, and spent summers in the Balmedie area. This was his inspiration for making this film. He was turned down for funding by Creative Scotland, the government-run arts funding board, which decreed not enough people would be interested in the story. He went ahead anyway, mortgaging his home to fund this project.

Between June 2011 and October 2012 the film toured the world, winning awards and earning critical acclaim. Internationally respected documentary film maker Michael Moore had this to say on the occasion of You’ve Been Trumped! winning a special prize at the Traverse City Film Festival:

“… Anthony Baxter entered the front lines of the fight against the developers to capture the outrage of the locals, who stood tall against bulldozers even as their own police force aided Trump’s henchmen in protecting his project.”

Trump Gets Cross

At first the Trump team dismissed the film as being ‘boring’. When the film started showing more widely, the Trump organisation  began to retaliate.  George Sorial, Director of International Development at the Trump Organisation, called the film “a complete fraud.”

It seems the BBC decision to show the award-winning documentary proved too much for the Trump organisation, and they are threatening to sue the corporation. A statement verging on the apoplectic was issued:

Sarah Malone of Trump International Golf Links on STV:

“We are appalled at the BBC’s decision to broadcast the highly biased and manipulative so-called documentary You’ve Been Trumped.

“It is not a documentary – it is a piece of propaganda that is wildly inaccurate, defamatory and deliberately misleading.

“Baxter is not a credible journalist or film-maker. He set out to create a sensationalist, Local Hero story, through underhand, clandestine means, in the hope of making money off the Trump name.”

“We have taken legal advice, and are determined not to let this matter end here.”

http://news.stv.tv/north/196067-donald-trump-threatens-legal-action-after-documentary-aired/

Baxter Opens Several Cans Of Worms

The Media And Trump

Perhaps the threat of lawsuits intimidates some members of the press; others are perhaps seduced by The Donald’s wealth (often-questioned as it may be), or his television fame –or they might have hopes of future advertising revenue. The sad fact is that the media in Aberdeen have hardly mentioned Baxter, while every visit a Trump family member makes to the City seems to be front page news.; TV and local radio Northsound did give the film attention when it debuted.  STV does give coverage as quoted above, but questions arise over its use of Malone’s assertions without challenge, as if they were fact. Malone says Baxter is not a journalist, that the film is propaganda, and was made using underhand methods.

These are the sorts of slanderous remarks Trump would take to court in an instant if they were levelled against him.

Aberdeen Voice editor Fred Wilkinson wrote to STV asking for evidence of Malone’s claims, specifically evidence of £100M having been spent on the course and the clubhouse, and Malone’s statements relating to an independent poll which she claims proves over 90% of local residents support the project, and that:

“ten thousand people … flocked to play the course this season.”

What is wrong with STV repeating these claims in an article is further explained in Wilkinson’s letter:

“… I have real doubts if there is evidence to back up these claims, and therefore, have to ask if it is good journalism to allow these to stand.

“By printing quotes which present such fantastic figures as fact, you are at least to some extent endorsing the validity of the statements/figures.”

 ( Read: Fred Wilkinson’s letter to STV )

Grampian Police:  Keen To Arrest, Not Keen To Explain

If Ms Malone is correct and Baxter is manipulative and used underhand methods then he is a genius at it. His getting the police to arrest him and producer Richard Phinney for Breach of the Peace is one of the most powerful parts of the movie.

Asked about the arrest and the policing policy at Menie, this is what the Grampian Police had to say:-

 “…in Spring 2009, following the announcement of a number of strategic economic and infrastructure developments, Grampian Police established a short life Critical Incident Preparation Group (CIPG).

“… a generic, local strategy, relevant to Menie Estate (was) developed. This has been determined as; Maximise safety; minimise disruption; facilitate lawful protest; deter, detect, detain and report those responsible for unlawful behaviour.”

You could be forgiven for thinking the same police force that refused to stop Trump’s people trespassing on private property, or insist the water was restored promptly would have perhaps thought a caution was more appropriate than handcuffs. You would be wrong.

Aberdeen city centre can resemble the Wild West on a weekend night. If everyone committing a breach of peace was arrested, the street would be deserted.  Yet police claim a policy to deter unlawful behaviour, but seem to be using this self-granted power only when it suits.

As reported in the Guardian, the police eventually made an apology of sorts:

Chief Inspector Martin Mackay:

“I can understand why a member of the public could have perceived the police actions within the documentary as being rash and confrontational and this has caused me some concern”.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/dec/13/filmmaker-apology-arrest-trump-resort

This ‘apology’ is condescending to the public, the implication being it is not able to differentiate between rightful arrest and the bullying of journalists.  Phinney and Baxter learned of the apology not from the police, but from the Guardian.

Anthony and Richard explained they were making a documentary. They identified themselves as journalists (indeed, they have a number of radio and television credits, despite what Ms Malone might say).  Journalists should be allowed to pursue stories without fear of police intimidation or arrest.  The National Union of Journalists described the arrests as an “unprecedented” breach of media freedom.

Perhaps the least democratic aspect of the arrests is that the charges were then dropped. While at first that might seem like a victory, what it means in fact is that Baxter and Phinney never got to tell their side in court or clear their names. The police might well have looked very bad in court.

Furthermore, the charges were dropped on condition no further Breach of the Peace occurred. Was this an attempt to silence them and stop their filming? It could well have been the intent.

Who exactly is in charge of the Grampian Police? They have since complained they were ‘under pressure’ from Trump… perhaps they should review how they act under pressure?

The Clerk of Works: A Selective View

Trees were bulldozed and buried in a pit or pits; this is captured on film.

Mounds of earth were raised around the homes of Susan Munro and David Milne – these are still there per recent photos, and have caused serious problems. Precisely what they are there for other than to block out these homeowners from seeing and being seen is unclear.

The entrance sign is far larger than it was supposed to be. This might seem a minor matter, but one wonders if Trump is using such deviation as the thin edge of the wedge to see how far he can go without any objection. In fact, Trump sued Palm Beach for $10 million over the over-sized flag pole he wanted to erect at his property there.

Running water loss, mounds of earth, buried trees, a bill for fencing erected without consultation slapped on a resident. In August 2011 the Clerk of Works wrote :

“Firstly, the loss of water alleged is not a planning issue…”

“The removal of trees was part of the overall and extensive tree survey undertaken relative to the planning … Extensive habitat translocation was undertaken to receptor sites. An area of on site disposal was used for scraped vegetation, etc. only – this work did not involve trees”

“With regard to the erection of fencing, the planning service has no knowledge of this, nor any subsequent billing.”  [David Milne was presented with an exorbitant bill by the Trump organisation for fencing he had not agreed with erecting]

“You mention a large amount of earth on the site – the earth bunding we believe you are referring to was fully removed by April 5, 2011″ [not according to the residents in August 2011].

Given the behaviour of the local press, police and authorities, you might be forgiven for thinking there is one law for the rich and another for the poor. Surely the national government would be free from the  taint of such bias?

Trump and Salmond:  Dinners, Dramas, Democracy

As Trump was seeking permission for his Menie golf haven, you might have expected any politicians to stay well clear of him for fear of being seen to be biased. Planning regulations likewise indicate prudence was called for. No such inhibitions or concerns for propriety occurred to Alex Salmond; he and Trump have had an expensive dinner or two together.

What were the topics of discussion? Surely Alex’s duty as a First Minister did not allow him to make deals with rich men currently seeking planning permission?

But just as Trump has some form with threatening legal action, Salmond has a history of seeking out the rich and famous. He was asked tough questions about his relationship to Rupert Murdoch at the Leveson Inquiry. He seems to have had a hand in promoting the controversial Granite Web project, a massive building scheme billionaire Sir Ian Wood tried to create over Aberdeen’s Union Terrace Gardens.

When the two dined in October 2007, Trump would later claim Salmond lured him into making a one billion pound investment at Menie, with Salmond promising there would never be any wind farms near that stretch of coastline. When a wind farm application was put forward, the relationship between the two men soured.

Trump testified to the Scottish Parliament that he was the evidence that such a promise existed; Salmond denies the conversation took place. However, it is undeniable that the Scottish Government took the unprecedented step of intervening in Trump’s planning application, rubber-stamping it over the local government’s will.  (Perhaps Salmond should have skipped dinner, all things considered).

But no one ever believed that Salmond would have courted Trump over the controversial release of the one man found guilty of the Lockerbie bombing. That man,  Abdel Baset al-Megrahi, was terminally ill with cancer and in the midst of appealing his sentence. He always maintained he was innocent. Whatever the merits or otherwise of Megrahi’s conviction, Salmond was in favour of allowing him return to Libya.

The Donald played a major trump card when he revealed Salmon sought his support over Megrahi’s release. Geoff Aberdein, special adviser to Salmond, drafted a statement for Trump supporting the controversial release. Trump refused – knowing full well that a New Yorker taking such a stance would become a pariah.

According to the Herald, Salmond was:

“… very unhappy and demanded to speak to Mr Trump,” he said.

“He was demanding and insisted he had helped us and now it was time to help him.”

Trump has the evidence on his side over this episode of his relations with Salmond – perhaps he was likewise telling the truth about the wind farms? Sometimes it is hard to tell.

The implications are staggering: our First Minister asked a New York real estate developer to support a controversial legal decision. What exactly was the quid pro quo? Was it the carte blanche Salmond gave Trump at Menie?

In any event, it is safe to say this is one Anglo-American special relationship that is truly over.

All the evidence points to democracy being thrown out of the window at the first whiff of dollars, from the lowest clerk or policeman on the beat to Scotland’s First Minister.

Arguably, we owe all of these revelations to Baxter and Phinney’s determination to make their documentary.

Local Points of View Today

Baxter was taken aback at the Aberdeen Evening Express’s assertions he was unavailable for comment as reported in the Monday 22 October edition, when an interview with him was going out the very next day. At the time of writing it is not clear how much time the paper allowed Baxter to respond before making its unavailable for comment statement. (The Evening Express has several editions per day; perhaps it could have mentioned that an interview was pending?). “Nonsense,” was the word Baxter used in response to the EE’s claim.

There is no doubt that those living in the shadow of this golf club are genuinely, deeply grateful to Anthony and Richard for sharing their plight with the world. After the BBC screening – and the Trump spokeswoman Malone’s attempts to discredit You’ve Been Trumped – long-suffering resident David Milne, depicted in the film, wrote:

“The screening of You’ve Been Trumped has to be seen as a triumph for honesty in journalism, something that has been lacking in the main papers in the area for some time, with their censorship of the main campaign group fighting for the residents’ right to be heard. Trump now claims that he has had no right to reply and is about to sue, why now?

 “The film has been public for about two years now and has toured the world several times gaining ten international awards in the process. If he (Trump) expects us to believe none of his people sneaked in while it was showing in New York and reported back then he is truly an idiot. 

“The article in the EE mentions a local poll. Is this the same one he mentioned in a previous BBC programme (money programme All American Billionaire?, Emily Maitliss) where he previously quoted a local poll which he was challenged on and failed to provide evidence, because there is none? The current posturing, shouting and gnashing of teeth is simply the antics of a spoilt schoolyard bully who has been caught out and shown as a liar, bully and thug.”

A fundamental environmental protection order lifted, peoples’ lives affected for the worse, planning integrity called into question at the highest levels, eyebrow-raising policing, and power politics. All part of a documentary about a golf course. We are indebted to Baxter and Phinney for bringing all these stories into the light, which might otherwise have never come out.

Coda: Mother Nature may well have something to say about Trump’s efforts at fixing a sand dune system which has been on the move for thousands of years. Reports coming in from the course suggest that the wind and tides may have their own ideas for the future of Menie.

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Oct 112012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s event’s in the ‘Deen and beyond and finds some bizarre and downright ugly situations worthy of  protest. By Suzanne Kelly.

It’s been a pretty wild week here in the Granite Web City, and wilder still in the wider world.  A man was killed in Torry; a man and two women are being held on suspicion of murder.  Plans for thousands of homes will soon go on display for the Bridge of Don area.

The existing residents want to get rid of any remaining ‘underused’ green areas, and they cite the excellent road network and public transportation in support of this brilliant idea, one which won’t add to pollution, traffic congestion, urban sprawl or over-crowding at all.  Result!

As I listen to Eels and enjoy a few half pints of Punk in BrewDog, I sadly realise the honeymoon is well and truly over between Donald and Alex.  The Donald’s revelations in the news this week caused bafflement, amusement and anger. 

Inexplicably, the facts seem to indicate Trump is telling the truth when he claims Salmond sought the bewigged New Yorker’s approval over the Megrahi affair.  The shock of Trump implicated in telling the truth (however belatedly) is proving difficult for the public to deal with; coupled with the fact Trump actually kept quiet about anything (well, until now) the story is quite surreal.  Alex is said to have turned salmond pink at the news.

Whether or not you think Megrahi was guilty or not (and there is evidence pointing to CIA involvement and evidence tampering), clearly the most important thing was to get the American public onside with the decision to repatriate him.  And what better way to curry favour with the US than to show that their beloved leader and greatest political thinker, Donald Trump, was on message?

At the time of writing it is unclear whether or not Trump’s blessing for Scottish independence is being sought.  I understand that the UN are appealing to him to end the Syria/Turkey crisis, and that NASA are asking him to back further space exploration.  Rumours that Obama is asking Sir Alan Sugar to back health care reforms are unconfirmed.  Alex Salmond is understood to be applying for slots on ‘The Apprentice’, ‘Ex-First Minister Factor’ and ‘It’ll be all right on the night (or not)’.

Here in the UK, the ConDems are pulling out all the stops to help workers.  Thanks guys.  They’re also  pulling out all the employment rights too (more on that later).

Aside from asking workers to give up rights to fair treatment at work in exchange for company shares, a mandatory pension scheme for the lower waged is being phased in.  You and your employer will pay into a mandatory pension scheme – unless you opt out.  Sounds wonderful!  However, looking this gift horse in the mouth would be my suggestion.

A little boy of 5 was treated like Bin Laden as he tried to get on a flight in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast

Of course, it should not concern you at all that this pension is linked to the stock market – what could possibly go wrong with your mandatory investment?  It’s not as if markets can be unpredictable, or perish the thought, stocks can ever be manipulated (except perhaps allegedly by Piers Morgan).

Remember, the Government has your best interests at heart.

Across the pond, the Americans are gearing up for presidential elections.  Debates are being held, flags being waved, and Homeland Security continues in its unchecked bid to reduce the country to a police state.  A little boy of 5 was treated like Bin Laden as he tried to get on a flight in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast.  Fair enough, he could have just been back from months in a terrorist training camp.

On the other hand, intrepid homeland security people managed to arrest someone after using clever deductive logic.

A US citizen flew in from Japan with slightly unusual luggage.  According to the BBC, he wore a bullet proof vest, had knives, handcuffs, body bags, a smoke bomb, collapsible batons, leg irons, hatchet and a bio-hazard suit and mask.  And flame-retardant trousers.

Old Susannah thinks there are at least three possibilities. One – he could have been intending on getting a rental car and driving out of the airport without getting mugged or carjacked.  Two – he could have been about to visit his in-laws.  By the way, when he boarded his flight in Japan, no one batted an eyelid at his personal effects.

Or possibility three – he was in Japan as part of the corralling, starvation, traumatising, and air-freighting dolphins and whales in Japan’s notorious Taji Cove.

For over 10 days a variety of marine mammals have been herded into a tiny area, and are being air-freighted all over the world to perform in aquariums.

Observers saw a young dolphin crammed into a sling, hoisted in the air and as it was chucked into a shipping container, it was crying (yes they do cry – they are social animals with feelings).  Still, what could be more fun for the whole family than to watch an intelligent creature used to roaming the oceans confined instead to a 50 foot tank being forced to perform for your entertainment or be starved?

 They were embarrassed, and took 45 minutes before giving me some propaganda on a CD

A San Diego Sea World Orca has a massive chunk taken out of its face; this they claim is just a little accident, and not the vicious bite it appears to be.

A dolphin in Japan similarly has a massive wound and appears ill.

You could be forgiven for thinking that these wild, beautiful creatures deserve to live in peace in the oceans, not being trapped in an unspeakably small Japanese cove in nets, waiting to be bought, starved or killed.  But that’s what Japan’s up to.  I guess we should be grateful Japan is not doing its famous ‘scientific’ experiments on these creatures (yet) – i.e. cooking them up.

The Taji Cove animals are often herded up and slaughtered – we’ll see if the slaughter is still to come.  Please do feel free to protest to the Japanese embassy.  (In fact some years ago I stopped into the London Japanese Embassy, and asked for information on their ‘scientific’ whaling project.

They were embarrassed, and took 45 minutes before giving me some propaganda on a CD.  They were polite – but they seemed to not believe their own hype.  It was like being at a  LibDem convention).  Here’s the embassy email:  info@ld.mofa.go.jp,

Old Susannah has many Japanese friends and since childhood has been interested in Japanese culture and history.  But if this situation isn’t resolved now and the animals released, there won’t be any more aid from me going to Japan the next time it’s decimated by say a nuclear accident of its own making. Like many others, I donated over the Fukushima disaster.

I’m not amused by Japan’s failure to listen to the rest of the world begging it to release the animals, and I’m less amused to find out that the real root cause of Fukushima seems to have been corporate greed and mismanagement.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-18751374

Go on Japan – release these animals, and stop perpetuating the idea of these highly intelligent animals being harmed for entertainment in aquariums.

A German observer was arrested; there is an international protest and presence in the area.  In fact it’s been quite a fortnight for protests around the world.  Some small, some large, some effectual, some laughable (but not the great pro Granite Web protest of course), and some resulting in shootings.

A few definitions are in order to try and deal with all this chaos.

Peaceful Protest: (compound noun, Eng.)  An event or campaign conducted in a non-violent manner to bring about justice or social change.

A Pakistani girl of 14 is in hospital in a coma; she was shot by the Taliban for ‘promoting secularism’.  To you and me, that means she wanted women to be able to get an education, possibly even choose their own husbands.  Ah, these young people today.

No doubt she’ll grow out of it – if the Taliban don’t kill her.  Young Yousafzai has been a peaceful protestor since the age of 11 – I guess that’s what happens when you let girls learn to read.  Down with this sort of thing.  I think she just needs a good husband.  Probably true of those Pussy Riot girls too.

Pussy Riot have endured maltreatment, isolation and human rights denial.  Serves them right – the protested against Putin – what’s not to like about Vlad?

As per usual, we have Annie Lennox siding with the Riot girls in support of their right to protest.  If you remember, some pro Granite Web people wrote to the papers that Lennox had no right to have an opinion on the web as she no longer lived in Aberdeen.  Therefore, Lennox and anyone else who’s not living in Russia or Pakistan has any right to champion the human rights of people living there.  I’m happy to have cleared that up.

Keep in mind that our very own Gordon McIntosh (perhaps one of those unnamed city admin officials who the councillors are being mean to) wanted to curtail our right to protest in Aberdeen.  Sadly, the council voted him down.  No wonder he feels hard done by.

Putting these trouble-making teens and women to shame, there are far wiser, older, richer people with far greater human rights taking a stand in the UK for our freedoms.  Let’s have a look at two of the higher-profile UK freedom warriors.

Yellowism: (noun) Belief shared by one person, Vladimir Umanets, that er, yellow is important.  Or something.

While this upstart Pakistani girl was wasting her time on human rights campaigning in the face of a violent male-dominated terrorist organisation, brave Vladimir strode into the Tate Britain, and wrote some important words (which no one understands) on a multi-million pound Mark Rothko painting.  Hero!

Rothko is only worth about $80 million, so no wonder the guards did nothing at the time.  Umanets claims while he wrote on the valuable artwork, he didn’t ‘deface’ it.  No doubt the principles of Yellowism, the cause he says he’s fighting for, are worth it, and Rothko would be  happy.  However, I’m not sure the gallery owners and the law will necessarily agree with Umanets.

Umanets follows in the courageous footsteps, well breaststrokes, of the brave Aussie who swam into the Thames last summer, ruining the annual boat race between Oxford and Cambridge.

Did he want to save whales, protest the banking crisis, stop Trident, champion Yellowism?  No, he was combatting ‘elitism’, which came as a happy surprise to some of the less wealthy members of each team’s crew.  Some of these people had to work their way through OxBridge, and had dedicated months to training for this event, but never mind.  Elitism has been defeated!

To the less enlightened, these two protestors might look like self-centered, self-serving, neurotic, attention-seeking sad cases, but I’m sure history will show them for the heroes they are.  Eventually.

Worker’s Rights: (compound noun) Basic principles protecting the rights of the employee from exploitation.  (Price £2,000 plus).

Returning to the theme of all the great things the ConDems have done to us – sorry, for us – George Osborne’s great plans just keep on coming.  Perhaps the best one yet is this new plan for workers to surrender their rights in exchange for company shares or a bit of cash.  This scheme will unite the workers, unite political parties, end the economic crisis, ensure permanent prosperity, and probably guarantee a tree for every citizen.

You will sell any rights at work which took centuries to gain, and in return you’ll own a piece of the company you’re working for (however small or however lacking in real value).  Rumours that employees will also be encouraged to sell their souls to Old Nick Clegg are as yet unconfirmed.

Have you discovered that your company is manipulating the LIBOR rates?  Is your hospital board cutting corners?  Are you working for a deranged man who brings a gun to work in Torry and shoots gulls out of his window (any resemblance to Mervyn New is purely coincidental)?  Are you a long-suffering senior admin on ACC with councillors being mean and asking you to explain your actions?

Well, you’ll not be able to do anything about it.

For one thing, you’ll be a shareholder, and if you do anything to make your company look bad, you’ll be devaluing your own shares.  This is what the ConDems are calling a ‘win-win’ situation.  Old Susannah may well have to re-examine what ‘win-win’ means, because either the LibDems or I am confused.  Must be me.

Next week:  a closer look at the ‘independent’ report saying mean councillors must be nice to the saintly city council officials – and perhaps a bit of financial news, too.

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Oct 112012
 

By Bob Smith.

Trumpie he wid like tae bigg
The greatest hotel Scotland’s seen
Bit nae if they pit a winfairm
In the bey north o Aiberdeen

The mannie noo hid a rant
Agin the billies fae the M O D
Fer withdrawin their objections
Like the fowk in the RSPB

The Donald’s geen ower far
He’s  jist fair becum  a joke
Sayin thoosans o birds’ll be killed
If winfairm plans they invoke

The chiel’s ramblins cairrit on
Misca’in First Meenister “Eck”
The Donald wid like it fine
If oor Ackie got the seck

Ceest yer myn back a fyle
Dr Kennedy he didna agree
Ti award Mr Trump sic a thing
As an RGU honorary degree

Dr David wis maist affa sure
Trump wisna fit fer iss award
An the former RGU principal
Thocht Trumpie a business cyaard

So Donald min jist pack yer bags
Ye’ve fair geen ower the score
The gweed fowk o the north east
Jist fin ye a lood mou’d bore

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oct 112012
 

With thanks to Anthony Baxter.

Award winning documentary film You’ve Been Trumped, branded a “failure” by Donald Trump, has been scheduled for prime time television.

The filmmaker who was put in jail by Scottish police and had hours of footage impounded while making a documentary about the environmental and human toll of Donald Trump’s luxury golf course development north of Aberdeen, will see his feature length documentary shown across the UK on BBC Two and BBC HD on October 21 at 10pm.

“After all that we have gone through I can’t quite believe its happening,” says Anthony Baxter, director of You’ve Been Trumped“It’s been an amazing journey.”

Baxter and his Producer Richard Phinney faced criminal charges when Grampian police arrested them  and confiscated their camera equipment after Baxter interviewed Donald Trump’s green keeper about the cutting off of water supplies to local residents, including an 86 year old woman.

The National Union of Journalists backed the filmmakers and called the arrest of Baxter a “violent” and “blatant example of police interference aimed at stopping bona fide journalists from doing their job.”  The charges were finally dropped and an apology made by Grampian police following an internal investigation.

You’ve Been Trumped tells the story of the extraordinary confrontation between the tycoon Donald Trump and a proud and  tightly knit community of Scottish residents, following the controversial approval of the Trump development by the Scottish Government of First Minister Alex Salmond.

The Trump golf course has been built on a Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) after the Scottish Government decided the ‘economic benefits outweighed any environmental concerns.’

Baxter, who was initially turned down for production funding by broadcasters and Scottish cultural agencies, shot, directed and edited the documentary, and raised money on the internet to finish the film.  Since then, You’ve Been Trumped has won 10 awards; played in 17 countries; been translated into Chinese, Romanian, Finnish, Czech, Polish and Greek;  and has found its way into classrooms in Scotland, Canada and Italy.

  Rarely does a film do such a masterful job of taking one small place to reveal how the world works

Though Donald Trump has called the film “a failure” You’ve Been Trumped has received widespread critical acclaim.  Michael Moore said he was “blown away by the film” and invited it to his Traverse City Film Festival where it won the Special Jury Prize.

Alec Baldwin, the Chairman of the Hamptons International Film Festival in New York, awarded the film the prestigious Victor Rabinowitz Social Justice Award, named after one of America’s leading civil rights lawyers.

Speaking from New York after hearing of the BBC Two transmission, Mr Baldwin said,

“Anthony Baxter’s You’ve Been Trumped is my favorite kind of documentary.  Comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.  I encourage anyone to see this film.”

Meanwhile, Bill Moyers, the legendary American broadcaster, who devoted much of a recent addition of his PBS show Moyers & Company to the film added,

“Rarely does a film do such a masterful job of taking one small place to reveal how the world works. By putting a face on the One Percent – and the face of Donald Trump, at that – Anthony Baxter has given us an unforgettable portrait of capitalism run amok at the expense of the 99.  It’s a remarkable, revealing and very moving and important film.  Don’t miss it!”

In August, Occupy Wall Street projected the film on the side of Trump Tower in New York City, saying in a statement that Mr Trump was the ‘ultimate one-percenter’ and called for the billionaire to be held accountable for his ‘environmental crimes’ in Scotland.’

While You’ve Been Trumped was widely released in Scotland, playing in 15 towns and cities, including sold out showings in Aberdeen, Dundee, Edinburgh and Glasgow, the BBC Two broadcast on October 21 will be the best chance for many in the rest of the United Kingdom to see the film.

“As the response to You’ve Been Trumped around the world shows, this is not just a Scottish story,” said Baxter.

“The land sacrificed for this development was part of Britain’s natural heritage, and I believe the issues raised in the film are critically important to environmental and planning debates across the UK.  I would like to thank the BBC for recognising the film needed to reach a broader public.”

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Oct 042012
 

Old Susannah looks back on another exciting week in the Deen, even if there was no mass protest by 60 or so members of the Cove Rangers/HoMalone/Kate Dean/boys with megaphones collective.  By Suzanne Kelly.

Common Good Aberdeen launched an initiative to put swings and play equipment In Union Terrace Gardens; I wish them well with that.

Old Susannah secured a ticket to the premier of the Led Zeppelin concert film ‘Celebration Day’, and is counting the hours.  BrewDog’s competition to create a beer cocktail is, however, taking up most of my spare time.  So far my creations run from to absolutely undrinkable to pretty awful.

Still, the contest closes on 8 October, so there is still some chance I’ll come up with something acceptable.  Win or lose, it’s been a lot of fun trying.

That nice Mr Milne is busy starting his new housing estate on the formerly open lands in Cove/Charleston.  Someone is building right on the main road by the  Cove Bay Roundabout. 

It might not be a great location for playing footie with the kids, but those overhead power lines and transformers will make for some entertaining kite-flying experiences, I’m sure.

I visited Tullos Hill this past Monday, and the place is a complete, well, ‘sotter’ is the word that springs to mind.  What few mature trees there were are now diminished in number; some uprooted, some with very badly broken limbs.

Raised earth filled with rock and rubble is apparent everywhere, and the areas where gorse was cleared, where once animals lived, are now just dead zones.  Well done everyone!  And don’t worry.  The Housing Committee may be done with this scheme, but the opposition still wants to see some justice done, and is working on it.

And now for a few relevant definitions.

Wind Power: (compound noun, English) the strength of the wind whether harnessed or not, the potential energy from wind

The Donald’s back!  Donald Trump, celebrity, international superstar, business Moghul, and pin-up breezed into town this week.  He’s blowing hot and cold over his new development – will he finish it?  Can it still be the world’s greatest golf course if there are turbines offshore?

Don probably just thought that since Alex Salmond fell into line over a few expensive dinners, the rest of the Scots would fall as easily.

 We should ignore our other developing renewable energy technologies and just build as many wind farms as we can.

However, it seems some pesky Scots aren’t doing as he wishes, despite the Donald’s granny being from Skye or something.  Yes, we might well put up windfarms along the coast, ruining the view for the hordes of millionaires and slebs who want to golf all year round at the world’s most grating – sorry, ‘world’s greatest’ golf course.

I must have missed the part where all these rich people and pro golfers said they simply would not come because of the wind farms.  I’m sure they are all at home in the south of France, California, Maui, etc. picking out their thermal golf clothes for when they come in February to play along the North Sea at Balmedie.  The wind farms will ruin the Scottish economy if we are allowed to build them where rich folk can see them.

On the other hand, why wait until the technology is perfected – let’s just build windfarms everywhere right now.  Just because every one of humankind’s past prototype inventions have all been miniaturised, made more efficient and cheaper doesn’t mean that windfarms will improve as well.

Never mind the science/technology/impacts/economics:  there is a tax break to be had (even if it is just a little expensive to get the electricity onto the grid).  We should ignore our other developing renewable energy technologies and just build as many wind farms as we can.

If only we could harness Trump’s hot air – that would solve all our energy needs.  Still, let’s make sure we put all our eggs into the wind farm basket, take those tax breaks, and ensure the whole countryside and seaside are covered with them.  What could possibly go wrong with a scheme that has the Government’s backing?

Culture of Yes: (Scottish Enterprise phrase, modern jargon)  Campaign to help Scottish businesses grow, and er, just say ‘yes’

Please forgive Old Susannah for bringing up the ‘Culture of Yes’ – for you will all already know about it and be on board with it.  After all, no less a person than Bob Collier of the Aberdeen Chamber of Commerce wrote about it in the June 2012 Business Bulletin.   I can’t wait from month to month for my new copy of the Bulletin to arrive, and I am sure you all feel the same.

Bob describes in loving terms how £750,00,000 per annum Scottish Enterprise has come up with a new slogan, ‘Culture of Yes’ (how much did that cost us, I wonder).  Without this new Culture of Yes, how else would businesses be able to expand, try new markets, and keep going?  Exactly.

You see, it’s important in business to have a ‘can do’ rather than a ‘can’t do’ attitude.  I hope I’ve not shocked  you too much with this revelation.  As Bob writes:-

“…this recession will end when we want it to – when attitudes change – and this should help to advance that process.”

  Alas!  The web has ceased to be.  It is an ex-web.

And here I was thinking the recession was about American toxic mortgage products, bad debts, loans that shouldn’t have been made, manipulation of LIBOR, EU policies, austerity in Spain, Italy, Greece…  Wrong!  The recession is only about attitudes being bad.

Sadly, I missed Bob’s November 2009 offering in the Bulletin, but he quotes from it for the benefit of those who don’t have the full back issues saved at home.  To save you looking through your collection of Bulletins, here’s what he had to say:-

“In my Chamber Viewpoint in November 2009, under a piece headed “no but, yes, but, no…” and taking my inspiration from Vicky Pollard [you don’t say!] I argued:  “We’ve all got the choice to be ‘No But’ or ‘Yes But’.  There is always a ‘but’ – life is complicated and agreement takes effort. 

“But we have a fundamental choice to make.  … So we respond on your behalf with “yes but’ to AWPR, Trump, EOWDC, City Gardens and many other positive investments for the region.  Our support is considered, and our constructive engagement improves good developments.  This is an approach which many in Aberdeen City and Shire would do well to remember when they consider the choices they are given to say ‘yes’ – but that’s another story.”

I am sure you are feeling as inspired as I am by the above.  How good of the Chamber of Commerce to have said ‘yes’ to the City Gardens on behalf of its members! Not all businesses in the CoC  backed the City Garden Project, but those ‘no-sayers’ were obviously just being negative.

Of course with Bob Collier who wrote the above also sitting pretty with Tom Smith on one or two little organisations with a strong interest in the project going ahead, the CoC was always going to say ‘yes’ to the web.

Alas!  The web has ceased to be.  It is an ex-web.  Despite the pretty much unveiled threat above (“many in Aberdeen City and Shire would do well to remember…”) to vote ‘yes’, it was just not meant to be.  All of the plotting, redacted minutes, hidden votes from the shortlisted design show, now all for nothing.  And as Bob concluded this little article of his

“What goes around, comes around.”

Bob, on that point I can only agree.

Old Susannah must leave it a bit short this week; there are BrewDog beer cocktails to be invented.  Be that as it may, I’ll be heading to One Up Records over the weekend.

Support your local music shop.  A variety of forces to do with people illegally sharing music, piracy, cost of CDs, business rates, competition from chain stores, digital downloads, etc.  make it difficult to run a music store.  Then again, Bob Collier thinks the recession is all down to attitude.  To that I’d say ‘no but no but no.’ Anyway – g’wan – go pre-order the Zeppelin CD, DVD, whatever.

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Sep 212012
 

By Bob Smith. 

The Donald’s noo bin telt
Yer advert wi div deplore
Showin some rottin win turbines
Fit warna near Scotia’s shore

The advert wis misleadin
Says fowk fae the ASA
The photo wis o turbines
In 50th state o theUSA

Noo Trumpie he protested
Sayin we telt far t’wis teen
The affa sma print in the advert
Suggestit it wisna near Aiberdeen

Na Na min said the billies
Fa look intae sic like capers
Ye shudna hae pit it in
The bliddy local papers

Dinna dare use it ony mair
Weel nae in it’s preesint form
Use photos of turbine types
Nearer tae Scotland’s norm

Noo iss begs the simple question
Fit wye the P&J printed the ad
There is advertisin standards
Tae be adhered tae in iss land

Nae doot the auld excuse
Eence mair will be trottit oot
We took the advert in good faith
An it brocht us some mair loot

So fit noo Donald we maun ask
Tae the ASA wull ye buckle?
Ye dinna like bein telt fit tae dee
An gittin rappit ower the knuckles

Iss turbines row is biggin up tae be
A fecht wi Eck, Trump’s auld bosom pal
Wull it be  a showdoon at dawn
Like the “Gunfecht at the OK Corral”

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Aug 102012
 

As ‘you’ve been trumped!’ continues its world-wide tour, its current stop in New York proves irrisistible to the Occupy Wall Street Protest group.  Montrose Pictures tells Aberdeen Voice readers what’s going on.

NEW YORK – In an effort to call attention to the environmental damage inflicted by Donald Trump’s troubled golf course development in Scotland, Occupy Wall Street projected excerpts from the documentary You’ve Been Trumped on the Trump Tower last night in Manhattan. Their action was beamed live worldwide on Occupy’s streaming video website.

A video of the Action, prepared and released by Occupy Wall Street, can be found here.

Standing atop of the Illuminator, a special truck designed to undertake “guerilla screenings”, Occupy Wall Street Organizer Justin Wedes explained to why they had chosen to project You’ve Been Trumped:

“It’s a story that has to be told, an exemplary case of the 99% against the 1%, “ he said. “ It’s just one more example of the 1% corrupting the political process, destroying our land, destroying the earth, and we have to speak out or we’ll have no more earth to speak out for.”

You’ve Been Trumped captures the confrontation between Donald Trump and a proud group of homeowners in Balmedie, north of Aberdeen in Scotland.

It has been held over for a second week in New York City, whilst continuing a successful theatrical release in the UK.

The film has won 10 international awards and has been nominated for the prestigious Grierson Trust British Documentary Award.

“I’m honoured that activists like those at Occupy Wall Street have found the film so powerful, and relevant to the causes they are fighting for,” said director Anthony Baxter, in reaction to news of the screenings.

“They have helped change the debate around inequality, and the various ways the 1% run roughshod over ordinary people’s lives, and we hope that our film is making a small contribution as well.”

You’ve Been Trumped is currently continuing its national cinema release in Britain and in the United States where it opens at the Village East Cinema from Friday 10 August, having enjoyed a successful first week at the Angelika Film Center.

You’ve Been Trumped opens in Los Angeles on 17 August.

Aug 032012
 

By Bob Smith.

The mannie Trump a Dons fan?
Gweed sakes an michty me
If he turns up at a match
Wull the bugger git in free

Trump No 1 wis on the shirt
T’wis presintit by Dod Yule
A suppose noo we’ll likely see
Trumpie’s lackies haen a drool

Foo muckle mair hiv we tae thole
O iss fawnin an forelock tuggin
Bi some Aiberdeen business chiels
Noo a fin iss maist affa buggin

The new fitba pitch at Loirston
Micht be Trump International Stadium
The mannie wid be mair at hame
As a comic at the London Palladium

“Cum on ye Trumps” cwid be the cry
If the billie buys ower oor  club
Iss thocht wid gie ma nichtmares
Ma season ticket a wid hae tae scrub

Fit a lot o bliddy nonsense
A hear  the AV readers cryin
Jist myn far ye read it first
If Trumpie  he cums a-buyin

©Bob Smith “ The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Jul 202012
 

Aberdeen Voice’s Old Susannah can barely contain her excitement over the imminent Olympics, and reviews the week’s past local events. By Suzanne Kelly.

Yet another exciting week in the Granite City has just passed. I had a great weekend with Anthony Baxter, the Milnes, Susan Munro, photographer Alicia Bruce and more at the Belmont on Saturday.

Baxter’s award-winning documentary, You’ve Been Trumped has returned, and at the Saturday evening show Menie residents and director Baxter did a lengthy Q&A session. I enjoyed the additional footage on the windfarm controversy and other updates. The film still makes me angry, it must be said.

Oddly the residents have a completely different take on what is going on at the estate than the Shire’s Clerk of Works – I wonder why?

If you’ve seen the film you will remember shots of trees being buried in a giant excavation. The Clerk wrote to me months back and advised that this hadn’t happened. So there. I sat next to David Milne during the screening; we are both amazed at the unprecedented way this documentary is doing the rounds. Next stops are New York and LA.

Don’t bother looking for any news of You’ve Been Trumped’s return or its many awards in the local press: you will be searching in vain.  If however you want a nice picture or two of Ivanka Trump, you’ll be well rewarded. We are all as good as rolling in money and new jobs now, I’m sure.

Sunday was a great day to visit Willows; Sandi Thom performed a lovely acoustic set in a barn packed with peacocks, peahens, cats and people of all ages. I like her voice, I hadn’t appreciated her guitar skills until I saw her play. You can’t fake it unplugged with an acoustic guitar. Even the animals were attentive. The Willows is a wonderful place to visit – and a great place to support.

Later in the week Old Susannah and Aberdeen Voice editor Fred met with some legal consultants. Do watch this space, particularly if you’ve ever had doubts about the legality of some of the previous Aberdeen City administration’s decisions. I even had a nice long chat with a councillor or two about some of the issues of the day. There may be some developments coming in the near future.

Tomorrow there is an event in Union Terrace Gardens. In the words of Dorothy from Common Good Aberdeen:

“There is to be a very interesting and moving event taking place in Union Terrace Gardens this Saturday, 21st July 2012 at 2 p.m. T.A.C.T. Bereavement Support are to hold their service of remembrance for loved ones, with a Book of Remembrance being opened. Quiet observation and reflection would be the order of the day, and what better place to have it. Common Good Aberdeen will be there to support in the form of helping with the afternoon tea.”

Hope to see you there.

Despite all the running around and events, I’m managing to stick to the diet programme I’ve been put on by Temple Aesthetics. It is called the Alizonne diet, it seems to be working a treat, and I do get a variety of flavours in the meals I eat on this plan.

The problem is, my visits to BrewDog are out for now (unless I go there and drink water and coffee – and with the best willpower in the world, I’m not sure I could do that just yet). Still, I’ve lost 5½ pounds in the first week. I hope to be back to normal eating habits soon. And normal drinking habits too.

This week I have to admit that I got a bit jealous of the lucky few who attended the opening of Trump’s golf course at Menie. I’ve had a look at the goody bag they took away.

Wow. Not only did I miss out on the free toothpaste (I think that’s what I saw) and golf goodies – but I have to do without an embroidered baseball cap as well. Shucks. It was clear that this collection of goods was put together by an imaginative billionaire with the highest standards of class and taste.

Even though I didn’t get an invitation or a bag myself (I wonder why?) I will still try and get ‘Trump’ baseball caps for Anthony Baxter and the Menie estate residents; I’m sure that will make everything seem better.

But let’s move on with some definitions.

Miscalculate: (verb, Eng.) to incorrectly estimate a quantity or a situation; to fail to appreciate all relevant variables when making decisions.

For all those Olympic fans out there (I presume there are some, even though there is evidence coming in to the contrary), it seems that a few little errors of judgement may have been made.  These involve the demand for tickets, and the all-important security arrangements.

Firstly, despite our Prime Minister pleading with us to agree that the games are great for the UK (he doesn’t want us to call them the ‘soggy’ Olympics, we should think of these as the Great Olympics; do make sure you think accordingly), not all of us seem to be keen on the games.  The football matches, which we have all dreamt of for years, are not exactly selling tickets quite as quickly as expected.

This minor miscalculation means that sales have been overestimated by around half a million tickets, depending on who you talk to. The BBC has this to say on its website:-

Organisers said there had been around one million football tickets left but these have been cut in half by reducing capacity at stadiums. A spokesman for Locog said: “We are planning to reduce capacity across the venues by up to 500,000 tickets across the tournament This will involve possibly not using a tier, or an area of a ground, in some of the venues.”

I hear they might want to hold one of the games in my back garden to cut costs.  Old Susannah is no economist of course, but if there are one million football tickets left unsold from an event that was supposed to make tons of money, does that mean we might not make quite as much money as we thought?  Even if the tickets were £1 each (they were not), that is one million pounds less than expected.

G4S, has said that it ‘regrets’ taking on this contract.  I’m sure they do.

But I don’t want to be negative.  I guess people are skipping football tickets in favour of the more important, exciting events, like women’s 10k three legged race or the men’s McDonald’s hamburger eating contest.

I am sure the sponsors won’t mind a little bit that a few million people less than expected will be there to look at their logos and be impressed at sponsorship for the events.

The other wee bit of miscalculation seems to involve how many security personnel would be needed. After all, we have to make sure that no one is allowed to bring in their own food and drink to the stadium village; the sponsors would be up in arms, and sponsorship is what the games are all about.

It seems that the firm that won the security contract have got their sums wrong, and every able-bodied police person in the UK is being told that they must go down to London to help out.

Don’t worry about the crime issues locally or the cost to the taxpayer: Cameron has already explained that the Age of Austerity will last until 2020.  If we have to stump up a few million pounds in police overtime, and the rest of the UK is hit with crime waves, it’s a small price to pay for finding out who is the best 50 yard dash runner in the world.

The firm which altruistically won the work for Olympic Security, G4S, has said that it ‘regrets’ taking on this contract.  I’m sure they do.  Having only secured a contract worth an estimated £57 million or more, depending on who’s doing the calculations, or miscalculations, they can hardly be blamed for small hiccoughs.

They might not have hired enough people, not arranged sufficient training or obtained uniforms, offered salaries below industry standards, but they couldn’t have been cutting any corners for reasons of profit.  After all £57 million doesn’t go nearly as far as it used to; it would barely get you half of a Granite Web.

The Home Office, which usually gets everything perfect, has also fallen a bit flat.  They had no way of knowing that lots of people from around the world would be coming to compete in London.  If the occasional terrorist suspect has got through the Border Agency without a hitch, I guess that’s fair enough.  I will try and remember that the next time I see a granny or a little child being body searched at the airport.

  Tom Smith says economist Mackay just doesn’t understand economics.  Good enough for me.

These little miscalculations demonstrate that this kind of thing can happen to anyone.  Except that it will not happen with the Granite Web. We don’t exactly know what’s proposed to go in the gardens.  We don’t have any working drawings available to the public showing how the ramps over the gardens will be safe, but they will of course have to be enclosed, barbed wire being a cost-effective solution.

We don’t know what the negative impacts will be on the existing city centre businesses, as the streets are clogged with construction vehicles and construction dust, if the thing is allowed to go ahead.  If only there were some other Scottish city that had started an open-ended civic project using many layers of public/private companies, then we could get a handle on the potential problems.  But I can’t think of a single example.

Failing that, we must rely on PriceWaterhouseCooper’s projections of 6,000 totally new jobs appearing and £122 million pouring into the city every year until 2023.  It all sounds so precise, doesn’t it?  Of course there was some economist named Mackay, but Tom Smith says economist Mackay just doesn’t understand economics.  Good enough for me.

So, since the economy is in such great shape, this is a great time to take an Olympic-sized leap of faith, get rid of the city’s only lungs, the UTG trees, clog the streets with construction vehicles – and of course borrow £92 million to pay for it.  It could all either go vastly over budget like the trams in Edinburgh, or turn out to be not quite as lucrative as £122 million flowing in per year.

The Olympics overstated the financial gain case, but this is Aberdeen:  the web will be a profitable, problem free project built to budget and completed without a hitch in no time at all, not like these amateurish cities London and Edinburgh.

Same Sex Marriage: (mod. English phrase) Situation in which two consenting adults of the same sex agree to enter into a marriage contract.

Readers of a sensitive disposition might wish to stop reading. This will be a shock, but there are people out there who apparently are not heterosexual.  Some of these people want to have long-term, legally-recognised partnerships or even marriages with their beloveds.  Clearly this is wrong.

The SNP were going to consider this issue, but have developed cold feet.  And too right.  What kind of a society would we have if people who loved each other could get married as they wanted?  Let’s stick to what we know works – a society where some six out of ten marriages end in divorce and separation.

  Actors are exactly the kind of people who go in for this kind of wild behaviour

On what the kids call ‘social network’ websites, there are a number of protagonists claiming that it should be their right to choose who to be with.  Top among these is one Mr George Takei.  He may be remembered for his role as ‘Sulu’ in Star Trek television and film appearances.

Actors are exactly the kind of people who go in for this kind of wild behaviour.  Elton John too has a ‘same sex’ partner.  Just  because they are intensively creative, intelligent, witty, generous men who have entertained millions for generations is no reason to think this kind of thing won’t mean the entire breakdown of society, or even the planet.

It is clearly our business what consenting adults get up to, so let’s put paid to any same sex marriage ideas here in Scotland – Scotland, arguably the home of modern philosophy, invention and upholder of the Rights of Man.  Next thing you know, we’ll have men going around in skirts.  God forbid.

Confidential to a certain councillor

I am very glad to know that you are having doubts about the private companies set up to carve up the Common Good land of Union Terrace Gardens.  You have confided that you are not sure the financials stack up, and you wonder if this isn’t either a vanity project, or a ‘jobs for the construction boys’ deal.

As you have those doubts, you will have to err on the side of caution, and reject any plans to start any project over UTG at this time.  If you vote to go ahead, you are going against your own better judgment.  I am glad you have these doubts – and as long as there is any doubt, the project must not proceed.  Don’t listen to me:  listen to your own common sense.

Next Week:  Old Susannah wants your gift suggestions for Ian Wood’s retirement.  What do you give the billionaire who has everything?

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Jul 122012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah comments on current events and enlightens us with definitions of some tricky terms with a locally topical taste. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho!  I will start by apologising for a recent column; I clearly misread the signs and got carried away.  Specifically, you don’t need to worry quite so much about wearing sunscreen as I’d suggested.  I also advised to make sure your pets had enough water – well, I think we’ve all had enough water by now.

Moving swiftly along, two art exhibitions are worthy of mention this week.  The House of Annie Lennox exhibition at the Aberdeen Art Gallery opened with a bang.  Ms Lennox was in town and a party and a press launch for the show were held.

Alas I did not get to the party, but it was a treat to have early access to the exhibition.  The show is considerably expanded, and the early mementos and images from her childhood in Aberdeen show the roots of her talents and personality.

More homegrown talent is on display (albeit in Forfar) with artist Anna Geerdes’ exhibition ‘No Place’.  Anna is from the Netherlands, lives in Torry, and studied at Grays School of Art.  Her work explores questions of boundaries and landscapes; she’s had paintings in the Royal Academy of Art in Edinburgh, and I wish her all the best with this exceptional show on until 28 July.
http://www.angus.gov.uk/history/museums/meffan/exhibitions-2012-NoPlace.htm )

Looking out over foggy Aberdeen over the last few weeks (well, some days you couldn’t look very far for the haar) I peer through the mists and am reminded of the old film Brigadoon.  This fantasy version of Scotland was so old fashioned!  A bunch of tartan-clad, happy villagers in a town hidden by mist – really!

Thankfully, Hollywood has ceased any stereotyping.  That’s why Pixar’s Brave’ is so much a hit, that we are helping to promote it and its vision of Scotland.  Its far more realistic version of Scotland features tartan-clad, happy villagers dealing with witches and banshees.   Result!

Rather than definitions from our government and its great initiatives, here is a look at  some Hollywood films set amid the heather of Scotland.

Brigadoon: (proper noun; English) Movie/musical love story set in Scottish Highlands.

The tale of Brigadoon centres on a mythical Scottish town, Brigadoon.  The story opens with American tourists getting lost in the foggy weather – kind of like this past fortnight.  They had been in the countryside to engage in the perfectly legitimate, lucrative tourist occupation of culling invasive species, (ie,  hunting).

  In times past, Brigadoon was beset by evil forces.

The pair sing the memorable songs  ‘no heather on the hill’ and ‘ A forestry-managing we will go’ as they look for deer to cull, carefully hanging warning signs all around them according to their risk assessment document.

The hunters discover the beautiful town of Brigadoon, with its rolling fields, sparkling granite and beautiful development opportunities.   Brigadoon only appears out of the mists once every hundred years.  In times past, Brigadoon was beset by evil forces.

Developers threatened to turn the fields to cheap houses and transform the market square into an iconic TIF project, and put wind turbines o’er land and sea.  So the local minister prayed, and magically Brigadoon was saved from over-development, urban sprawl  and unwanted forestry schemes by being hidden in time, only to appear once every 100 years (about as often as the No. 23 bus).

The villagers prepare for an upcoming wedding; the bridegroom sings ‘Go Home With Bonnie Jeannie’ , and the villagers all reply with a chorus of ‘Go Home, Ho Malone’.    One of the Americans falls in love with the range of development opportunities on offer, and the locals sing a chorus of ‘Scotland’s open for Business,’ and ‘Smart, Successful Scotland.’  He returns to the land of his granny (near enough) and opens a golf course.  Brigadoon is never seen again.

Braveheart(proper noun; English) A documentary film made by Mel Gibson on the life of William Wallace.

This popular historic recreation has proven to the world that Scotland must be independent from England; it’s what Wallace would have wanted if he were here today.

These days some segments of the press are comparing Alex Salmond to Wallace for his unswerving moral code, his desire to uphold the rights of the common man against the wealthy and powerful, for painting his face with woad and going to battle for Scottish independence.

Apparently the referendum will be scheduled near the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn , where Wallace saw the English off.  Salmond bravely rode into battle against Donald of Trump; he and his two merry administration men sailed to far, far New York.  Armed only with taxpayer money (about £6,300), Salmond and Trump engaged in combat at the Battle of Le Perigord (one of Manhattan’s most expensive restaurants).

I guess Salmond didn’t want to see anything that would discredit the great windfarm expert Trump

Both sides claim victory.  Salmond said windfarms were never discussed; Trump says Salmond promised no windfarms near the new Trump resort. Trump won a great victory over the moving sand dunes to tame this corner of Scotland, creating the world’s greatest golf course.

Alex Salmond is, however, not quite brave-hearted enough to watch the film ‘You’ve been trumped!’ .  He has declined several invitations to view it now, including its showing at Holyrood.

I guess Salmond didn’t want to see anything that would discredit the great windfarm expert Trump, whose address at Holyrood will go down in history for its grasp of science, economics and environmental concerns.  Or something.  This film has disturbing scenes of people being critical of The Donald and his flunkies, which some viewers might find upsetting.  The two documentary makers show Trump’s effects on the Scottish landscape and residents, as he changes nature to his own designs.

Some of these unappreciative locals selfishly refused to sell their homes to Trump and even complained when Trump’s minions  accidentally cut their water off and damaged their property.  The filmmakers were quite rightly arrested, and should have been hung, drawn and quartered for embarrassing Trump and Salmond with this film.

It is understood that any day now The Donald will create millions of jobs – cleaners, porters, dishwashers and maids wanted.

Alex Salmond, like Wallace, understands the importance of seeing what assistance foreign powers can bring to the struggle for Scotland’s independence. This is why Salmond allied himself with the great Rupert of Murdoch.  Alex  pledged his allegiance to Murdoch and apparently did all he could to help with the BskyB merger, and exchanged several messages with (soon to be former) culture secretary of the hated English, Jeremy Hunt.

This was apparently done to get the Murdoch empire to support the SNP.  Like Wallace, Salmond has been summoned to England to face his enemies at the Leveson enquiry, where he was asked to explain a few things.  For some reason Mr Murdoch said he could not remember anything about this matter.  Let’s hope Rupert’s memory improves sometime soon.

Freedom!

Brave: (proper noun; English) Animated tale of the real Scotland of ages past, complete with happy tartan-clad villagers, a princess and a witch or two.  Apparently soon to be part of the SQA curriculum for Scottish History.

Some years back, the Government and Scottish Enterprise were keen to tell the world that it was wrong to stereotype Scotland as the land of tartan, whisky, castles and sheep.  Times have changed.

According to News Net Scotland, here’s what they’re saying about ‘Brave’:-

“First Minister Alex Salmond said the movie presented a huge opportunity to promote Scotland and said: “This will present us with an immense opportunity when Scotland will be centre stage in the film with all the tourism and business opportunities this will bring.  I fully expect that as the film launches across the world, so will awareness of Scotland increase.  Brave will be the most high-profile film ever set in, and themed around, Scotland, featuring Scottish stars.”

VisitScotland chairman Mike Cantlay said:

“When better than in the Year of Creative Scotland, and where better than right here on Scottish soil, to launch Brave for the first time in Europe? 

“The film will showcase the scenery, humour and culture of Scotland, and we are looking forward to converting cinema-goers into visitors.”

  Why go and see this film, when for a mere £150 or so you can have a round of golf at Trump’s newest venture?

So there you have it – the first minister says that the most high-profile film ever set in Scotland is a cartoon with witches, banshees (no offence Aileen, Kate and Jennifer)  and castles.  Visit Scotland (which is now working with Disney to promote the film) says the film showcases the ‘scenery’ and ‘culture’ of Scotland.  We can at least look back on this film when Aberdeen is choked by housing developments to the loss of any green fields.

So bring on the new independent Scotland, battles in kilts and some witchcraft – that will put any old stereotypes to rest.

Local Hero: (proper noun) Award-winning cult film in which environmental concerns take precedence over greed.

This fantasy film depicts a Scotland which is ‘closed for business’ and as such should not be screened.  Worse still, it foreshadows  a very dubious film indeed…

you’ve been trumped: (proper noun) Multi-award-winning documentary depicting Donald Trump’s  quest for the world’s greatest golfcourse – whatever the cost.

Result!  The galaxy’s greatest golfcourse opened this week!  Why go and see this film, when for a mere £150 or so you can have a round of golf at Trump’s newest venture?

Old Susannah suggests that you might want to see this film yourself when it returns (in a newly edited version with extra footage) to the Belmont Cinema this week.  Saturday will see Baxter and many Menie residents come along (1:15 and 6:00 showings as well as 11:00 am). Details at http://www.picturehouses.co.uk/cinema/Belmont_Picturehouse/film/Youve_Been_Trumped/

Hope to see you there, so you can judge for yourself who is in the right:  an honest American tycoon trying to make an honest pound, or the area residents, mainstream Scottish media, and little-known documentary maker, Michael Moore.

Quotes:

“I heard it was boring.  I heard it wasn’t good.”
— Donald J. Trump (Property Developer)

“Factually challenged”
— George Sorial  (Trump spokesperson)

“I didn’t think I could be shocked by the abuses money and power can inflict on ordinary people, but Anthony Baxter, with a calm but steely determination, exposes the way a ruthless, greedy thug can corrupt the state, the police, the media and academia. …When a handful of decent Scottish people try to defend their homes and their environment from destruction, the angry billionaire seeks to crush them.  For showing us the reality of this “development”, Baxter is intimidated, harassed and bullied. But he succeeds in giving us a film as magnificent as the landscape he tries to save, and as warm and principled as the people who live in it.”
— Jeremy Hardy, BBC

“An amazing film….Director Anthony Baxter throws a spotlight on the contemptuous way in which Trump deals with the residents.  But most controversial of all is the way in which the potential environmental damage caused by the development has been disregarded because of the perceived benefits to the local economy.”
— Bob Ward, The Guardian

 “This is a real eye opener of a film, and a cracking piece of filmmaking from Baxter, who uses his own nous, nerve and a few judicious clips from Local Hero besides, to make a compelling case. See it and decide for yourself who are the real Brave Hearts in this tale.”
— Glasgow Herald

“A quietly angry and important film that will inspire plenty of ire in anyone frustrated by the way money and power frequently crushes anything in its path.”
— The Scotsman

“Rogue filmmaker Anthony Baxter entered the front lines of the fight against the developers to capture the outrage of the locals, who stood tall against bulldozers even as their own police force aided Trump’s henchmen in protecting his project.  This shocking investigative film aims to hold Trump—and anyone else who puts personal gain ahead of the environment—accountable for their actions as it documents a protest that still wages on.”
— Michael Moore’s Traverse City Film Festival (Winner, Special Jury Prize)

See you in the funny pictures.

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