Sir Ian Wood Archives - Page 12 of 14

Old Susannah’s Dictionary No.26 – Dough Or Deer

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour Comments Off

Mar 042011

Dough, or deer. That’s the Council’s dilemma. Old Susannah muses on an extraordinary response from our elected representatives.

I’m afraid it’s another long introduction this week.

There seems to be a little confusion about what our City Council has been up to lately, so let me leap to its defence as usual, and try to dispel some misunderstandings. Peacocks and Deer seem to be in the firing line – deservedly so of course. Firstly, we had a potential grant to house Peacock Visual Arts in UTG, and Peacock put itself into ACSEF’s hands. ACSEF somehow turned this plan around and the Sir Ian Wood car park/street level UTG scheme was favoured over the Peacock plan.

It seems Sir Ian’s plans then took a chunk of the Peacock money, and the Peacock plan was overtaken by the UTG car park/shops plan. Grant money, hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money, was spent on a splendidly-unbiased consultation persuading us that we need parking more than trees. Obviously, the consultation was ignored for not reaching the desired conclusion.

The City was allegedly told by Scottish Enterprise that the grant money had to be used towards a cunning plan of some sort or other, and as the City wisely didn’t want to rush into anything, it has instead cleverly handed back £1.2 million to COSLA. I might be confused, since Scottish Enterprise had a hand in helping Peacock, had a hand in helping Sir Ian’s scheme, and had a member on ACSEF who would have known all about grant deadlines – or should have known. I’ll work that out eventually. Still, what’s £1.2 million to us anyway? And thus the Peacock was carved up.

At the same time as Aberdeen City Council lost £1.2 million by killing off the Peacock, we were going to keep a £200k grant by killing the deer on Tullos Hill to prevent them eating. I’m sure that’s clear, but just in case it’s not, we are getting £200K to plant trees in a scheme called A Tree for Every Citizen

COUNCILLOR AILEEN MALONE, PLEASE NOTE THIS IS NOT CALLED ‘ALMOST ONE TREE FOR EVERY CITIZEN’.

Alternatives such as planting elsewhere, waiting until fencing could be afforded to separate tree from deer, keeping the deer safe in a fenced area and using plastic to protect the saplings so that the deer couldn’t eat them would be too expensive. We have to keep saving money like we always do, or we wouldn’t have enough money left for consultations and hospitality. It seems like the councillors involved are now passing the buck.

So the deer were going to be shot and killed, or culled if you are of a sensitive disposition and it sounds much better. They’re tame deer, mind, who are sometimes handfed, although the pesky beasts keep breeding and eating, and don’t seem to have taken notice that we’ve encroached on their land.

By killing the deer now, you see, the trees will grow. When the trees are grown, then we have a habitat suitable for squirrels and, er….deer. This sounds like we are keeping a close eye on finances, acting humanely and doing business in an honest fashion.

The P&J is becoming increasingly critical of the Council, a most welcome trend

I was going to tell them where to put their saplings when, all of a sudden, Wednesday’s Evening Express announced that the deer can live. Perhaps the city councillors got a bit squeamish at the thought of killing all those beautiful votes they hope to see next spring?

Whatever the motive was for sparing the deer, it seemed briefly that the City had listened to the people. The moon was blue and lightning struck twice.

I personally was ready to fawn over the councillors.

Well, I should have known better. The current version of the story appeared in the P&J on Thursday morning. Its headline accurately reflected the Council’s current position – animal lovers, stump up £225,000 for fencing or we kill the deer. The P&J is becoming increasingly critical of the Council, a most welcome trend

The Council explained it had no spare money for fencing, and Councillor Aileen Malone helpfully told the P&J that only ‘about one’ person from Aberdeen had written to her protesting against the cull; the rest were from out of town. Obviously, people in different countries have no business being interested in animal rights issues. I hope any interfering ‘outsiders’ who troubled our Ms Malone will write to apologise, acknowledging that animals in Aberdeen are only the concern of Aberdonians. Honestly!

Poor Ms Malone was apparently so shocked to get any e-mail at all that she lost the ability to count. ‘About one’ is the phrase she used to describe the number of e-mails received from Aberdeen people wanting to save the deer. Readers, I will confess that as Old Susannah sent her an e-mail around February 22, including my home address, asking for the cull to be abandoned, I am that solitary person who constitutes the ‘almost one’ person who wrote to her. I like to think of myself as a whole person – but will bow to Ms Malone’s superior grasp of numeracy.

I would ask that if anyone else thinks they wrote to the Council protesting against the cull, they check that they actually did write. If so, tell Ms Malone – and be sure not to bother this busy woman unless you live in Aberdeen!

Anyone who insists on being addressed as ‘Doctor’ who is not a medical doctor runs the risk of looking like a jumped-up, insecure, power-hungry, title-fixated, inflated, self-important nonentity

Finally, I am looking at a report from the Council dated 25 May 2010 which spells out the benefits of the ‘Tree’ scheme.

It will be carried out in such a way as to ‘… value and enjoy our built and natural environment and protect it and enhance it for future generations…’ Obviously not for future generations of animals mind, and if we get rid of the deer, so much more room for us to enjoy the great outdoors.

This proposal also explains how important it is to get the community involved – not to listen to them, just get them involved – and says that Tullos School children can help plant the trees. I personally think it would be much more educational if the children could help kill the deer as well; this would be a great lesson indeed.

And on to this week’s dictionary corner….

Are you feeling well? The following definitions come with a warning that they may cause queasiness in the reader and headaches for the champions of good health and responsibility at Grampian National Health Trust. For the record, my grandmother was a nurse as was her sister, back in the day when wards were spotless, patients were cared for, even listened to, and hospital staff were seen as the most important part of a healthcare delivery service. Yes, that was a very long time ago indeed.

Doctor: (noun) title given to an individual awarded a doctorate by a university; a professional in the healing arts; eg a physician, dentist or veterinarian who holds an advanced degree and is licensed to practise.

The title ‘Doctor’ is applicable to anyone who has successfully obtained a doctoral degree from a recognised, accredited university. The use of the title ‘Doctor’ as in ‘Dr Marcus Welby’ is most often only limited to doctors of medicine, although in universities it may be used to address any holder of a doctorate.

Anyone who, say, donates tons of money or is a wealthy tycoon with a wig, can wind up with an honorary doctorate, but would probably not insist on being addressed as ‘Doctor’. ‘Dr Donald Trump’ for instance, would sound just a wee bit naff. Anyone who insists on being addressed as ‘Doctor’ who is not a medical doctor runs the risk of looking like a jumped-up, insecure, power-hungry, title-fixated, inflated, self-important nonentity. That is why nobody at, say, the Council, and involved in planning for instance, would insist on being referred to as ‘Doctor’. Now let’s look at the health of our medical sector.

Maggots: (noun – plural) type of insect; soft-bodied legless larvae from for instance the fly family

In superstitious medieval times, wounds and illnesses were often treated using leeches and other bloodsucking creatures (but not councillors as far as I know) to suck away excess blood. As it turns out, the use of leeches does have some medical value – they take out dead tissue and possibly promote healing.

This made her ill, made her extremely upset, and had nothing to do with what was actually going on with her health

How extremely far-sighted then, of Grampian NHS to be using maggots. Well, they had maggots in ARI back in 2009. It seems they were found in an operating theatre area or two in the not very clean ventilation system. You might think this shows a scandalous lack of concern for hygiene, but I am sure it was a well-intentioned experiment in healing.

Consent: (verb) To agree to a condition or set of conditions, to affirm assent.

When you go to hospital, if you are not in possession of your mental faculties or cannot speak, then you are unable to give consent when required. Recently, a woman in her 70s found herself having a stroke whilst in the care of Grampian NHS.

What apparently happened was rather than realise that a stroke was the problem, the (dis)orderlies treating her decided that as a tube had come out of her arm, the best thing to do with this conscious, communicating woman was to hold her down. This took three of them and she was apparently bruised, but you know how strong these old women are. As she pleaded against any injection, they gave her an anti-psychotic medication. This made her ill, made her extremely upset, and had nothing to do with what was actually going on with her health.

You can’t expect someone in a hospital to know all the rules of course, and the patient’s wishes should not be as important as what the staff feel they should do. About a year after this charming incident, I read in the news that she was given an apology. I am sure any one of us would have been more than satisfied with that.

Hospital parking: (noun) a place to leave a motor vehicle where the price charged for doing so can be astronomical.

If you can’t afford the taxi fare to a hospital for non-emergency treatment, if you don’t have the hours to spend when you’re ill taking a number 12 bus from the town centre to a hospital – forget it on a weekend – then please arrange to be ill when you have sufficient £££s to spend on hospital parking.

If you have a sick relative – a child or older person perhaps – who is in long-term care, either ask them to chip in for the parking or taxi money, or ask them to be ill after you’ve saved up enough to be able to afford to go to the hospital. Planning ahead makes everything so much easier to afford.

A note on mental health – anyone who is experiencing an episode of depression or suicidal feelings should be treated immediately at an NHS location of their choice. A man died last month – a man who had expressed a need for immediate help, as had members of his family, but he had not gone through the proper channels when thoughts of suicide overtook him and the NHS turned him away. So, members of Grampian NHS Board, who exactly is responsible for this tragedy? Please feel free to explain it to me as I don’t understand it.

Union Terrace Gardens – Their Use And Value To Aberdeen City

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, Opinion Comments Off

Feb 252011

By Mick Miller.

Over the months that the debate over the development of Aberdeen city centre has raged, one argument often fielded by those in support of the City Square Project is: “Union Terrace Gardens aren’t used.”
This raises the issue of “use” – what does it mean for a space to be used?

Here are some reflections on this.

Firstly, Union Terrace Gardens (UTG) are used. They are used by people, like most parks and open space, when the weather is good and people have the free time to use them. They are used regularly by people who live in the city and own a dog for example, or who have no garden of their own. They are used by office and shop workers when the weather is good and the need to take lunchtime relaxation is fulfilled by sitting in the sun rather than perhaps a stroll around the art gallery or shops. I know this because when I worked in Aberdeen city centre I used to struggle to get a seat in UTG on a sunny lunchtime!

They provide safe space for families away from traffic concerns. Union Terrace Gardens are used at the weekend by those who live close, and not so close, as recreation and relaxation space. They are used by visitors to the city who value them as part of their visit ‘experience’; that is as a part of what makes Aberdeen distinct as a place to visit. The above photograph shows quite clearly the gardens in use on a good sunny Saturday.

Of course they are used in many other ways. They act to define the city space, to give a ‘green heart’ to the surrounding city scape. Because they are sunken they give a unique perspective on the city . Looking up from the garden towards His Majesty’s Theatre and St Marks with the Wallace statue in the foreground is one of the defining views of Aberdeen. Like the UTG itself Aberdeen would not be Aberdeen without it.

Ornithologists can spot the peregrines that nest on the ruined steeple of Triple Kirks. Bat lovers can gather at dusk to watch these enchanting mammals flit in and out of the gardens lamp light chasing their prey in a silent whirlwind. It takes a long time for a park space to achieve the diversity and richness that is UTG – destroy it and it would never be recovered.

Just by being there, Union Terrace Gardens are used. This is in common with all city centre garden space. The photograph attached shows Princes Street Garden in Edinburgh.

Not packed – but valueless because of it?

One would hardly think so.

Edinburgh residents would never contemplate decking over this space. The gardens in Edinburgh are as much a part of the City as the Castle.

Of course Edinburgh do utilise the garden space in a far better way than Aberdeen. They are maintained better; at Christmas they are bedecked with lights and an ice rink installed. Aberdeen Council used to do this sort of thing too but over the years have allowed UTG to fall into disrepair. This represents an appalling neglect of a valuable public asset.

UTG is of course not used in a ‘commercial’ way. The commercial interests that would likely dominate any development on the site would doubtless seek to maximise the value of the space primarily in terms of monetary and commercial value. The City Square ultimately must ‘improve’ the space in this regard in order to have any chance of viability.

This discontent with Union Terrace Gardens seems to have some link with the need for Aberdeen to emulate somewhere else. But why?

Sir Ian Wood has argued that he wants to see a combination of a mini – Central Park (as found in New York City) and an Italian piazza. Central Park, co-incidentally, was established in 1873 – just about the same time as Union Terrace Gardens, give or take a few years . It serves a population of some 1.7 million people – and that’s just Manhattan without the other 4 Boroughs that go to make up New York as a whole or the tourists that frequent the city.

It has more in common with Union Terrace Gardens in terms of maturity, make-up and value to the community than anything that the much touted design competition for the city square might come up with. Central Park has history that makes it what it is today.

The piazza concept should give cause for concern. Wikipedia describes it thus:

“In Britain piazza generally refers to a paved open pedestrian space without grass or planting”.

Piazzas work in Italy and other Mediterranean countries because they have long hours of hot sunshine and, more importantly, a historical significance that embeds them in the country’s culture. You can’t import them into a place that has no connection with the way of life that they reflect. Look at the upper deck of the St Nicholas Centre to see how it works in Aberdeen.

This discontent with Union Terrace Gardens seems to have some link with the need for Aberdeen to emulate somewhere else. But why? Where Aberdeen has attempted such an approach the results have been dismal. Go to any of the shopping malls including the horrendous Union Square and you could be anywhere, in any shopping centre, in the UK.

Meanwhile the old E&M premises, an icon of Aberdeen, crumbles its way through another winter. The City Square Project will have the same effect; stripping away yet another facet of Aberdeen that actually makes Aberdeen, well, Aberdeen! As a consequence adding to the catalogue of destruction that has over the years de-valued the city’s architectural significance; eroding that which makes Aberdeen a unique and beautiful city.

Mick Miller, 9 February 2011.

Old Susannah’s Dictionary No.18 – Winter Warmer Edition

Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Dec 312010

Voice’s Old Susannah tackles more tricky terms with a locally topical taste.

Aberdeen is such a cool city. Make that frozen. For those of you with snowshoes, ice skates or skis who have been able to make it out of your homes, you may have noticed a few minor problems. There may have been one or two late-running buses during rush hour.

A few flights and trains couldn’t run. Nearly two and a half thousand of us have had frozen pipes in our homes, including Old Susannah, who couldn’t find a plumber who wasn’t fully booked up.

Therefore a “thank you very much” to the brains at ‘Wayne’s Drains’ for giving such great help over the telephone; with their guidance I was able to avoid a burst pipe.

For a few days I had no running water which was a great adventure. I do apologise for turning in such a short ‘Dictionary Corner’ this week but I have three days’ worth of washing, cleaning and mopping up awaiting me. Sorry! It was messy and no fun at all clearing the pipes, and if I never see a U-bend or a tub of ‘Plumber’s Mait’ putty again it will be too soon. Still, I was much better off than an acquaintance who had a frozen toilet. He wound up in quite a mess. Speaking of messes…

Local Development Plan: The Local Development Plan, or ‘LDP’ to its friends, sets out the realistic, wonderful future for Aberdeen. There are goals such as doubling the City’s population, building thousands of new homes, and making a ‘community stadium’ on Loirston Loch (NB – Old Susannah cannot as yet find a definition of what a ‘community stadium’ is). Part of this ingenious plan is to always have land available to developers for creating industrial estates – again,

I always thought land was a finite commodity, and that we still had such a thing as ‘greenbelt land’. Apparently the ‘Planners’ don’t happen to agree. As a voter in Aberdeen, you were presumably made aware that your elected representatives would create this plan, only I can’t seem to find anything to back that up as yet.

You could also be forgiven for thinking that the local, elected Community Councils get asked what they’d like to see – or not see – in the plans from the earliest stages. Apparently there is a ‘statutory duty’ for Community Councils to be consulted for matters in their areas. The truth is that the developers (hmm – can we think of any influential local developers?) and the planning chiefs sit down and invent the whole thing without bothering the elected Community Councils – the rationale for this seems to be that the Community Councils get a chance to object later on.

Where would the needy ‘All Energy Aberdeen’ have been had we not spent over £9K on a wine, beer and juice reception

This is a bit like the farmer objecting to the gate after the horse has bolted. Therefore the ‘community stadium’ planners had a budget of our money capped at approximately £250,000 to spend to investigate the pros and cons of the deal. Had they asked the local councils first, they might well have been told to scrap the idea.

But remember, consultants have to make a living, too. It’s quite funny how the pros (like a big, shiny, new, red-glowing building where Aberdeen Football Club can astound 22,000 people with previously unsuspected footballing skills) are made to be realistic and important, and the cons – such as loss of wildlife habitat, urban sprawl, traffic and expense don’t seem nearly as important.

Of course, the community councils get to comment later in the ‘consultation’ process, during which their opinions are given the consideration that they are worth. For Loirston Loch’s destruction, they get a maximum input at the public hearing of 30 minutes per council. I hope they can talk fast. (Old Susannah will be getting up to have her say about the ‘community stadium’ at this public hearing, which is on 14 January at the Town House City Council offices on Broad Street at 09:30. If you’ve nothing better to do than see Old Susannah talking to a brick wall, do come along).

Hospitality: Dictionary definitions for the noun ‘hospitality’ describe it as meaning “… hospitable treatment, reception, or disposition .” Do not let anyone tell you there is any truth in the stereotype that the Scots are not generous and hospitable; Aberdeen City has definitely dispelled that myth. It might have done so using your tax money, but it’s money well spent. It shows the rest of the world how prosperous we are. Secondly, as previously established, our Lord Provost is worried about being embarrassed or looking foolish – which is why he and his wife need a generous clothing allowance and why he wants us to take Sir Ian Wood’s £50 million for the Union Terrace car park.

Let’s look at some of the hospitality we dished out last year. On the one hand, we only spent £129,472.5 pence according to the City. On the other hand, one wonders if it was all necessary. We threw events for councillors and a whole host of special interest groups. Where would the needy ‘All Energy Aberdeen’ have been had we not spent over £9K on a wine, beer and juice reception for it at the AECC? You and I gladly paid for the ‘Aberdeen Sports Person of the Year Awards’ at the Beach Ballroom where some 275 luminati had dinner and drinks for £9,774.25.

Lest we forget, the City just recently had to stump up an extra £64K or so for the international football programme’s going over budget. I can’t really complain, we attracted an amazing array of footballing talent, including Birmingham City. We still don’t have enough money to keep our schools or have children continue with music lessons. We might have to close our parks (or turn them into something profitable). I have no doubt that our elected officials who dutifully attend these drinkfests stick to water and soft drinks; they might wind up useless, sozzled and brain-addled otherwise; thankfully this hasn’t happened as yet.

However, let’s raise a glass to the forty plus drinks events we held last year. Cheers!

ACSEF In Wonderland

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Dec 252010

By Mike Shepherd.

Here’s a game for your Xmas party – spot the odd one out in this list:
Smersh, Spectre, the Black Hand, the Priory of Sion, Acsef.

The correct answer is of course Acsef. The others are sinister, shadowy organisations bent on world domination, while Acsef is Aberdeen city and shire economic future, the unelected body charged with promoting business development in the Aberdeen region.

Acsef‘s greatest moment has been the long-running saga of Sir Ian Wood’s city square project. The show has been on the go for over two years and looks set to run and run and run. Although whisper this quietly: just like the Red Queen in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass, it doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere yet.

Acsef helped with the consultation for the scheme and we were all assured “This public consultation aims to find out if you would like to go ahead with the proposal to redevelop Union Terrace Gardens and the Denburn Valley to create a new civic space and gardens.” Ha!

We were also told that we could get a modern city square that looked like the ones in Melbourne, Chicago and Houston. “Acsef believes the city needs a centre that will reflect that aspiration and attract future talent and businesses. This is about jobs for today’s secondary pupils and undergraduates – our children and grandchildren.” You could call this the Nora Batty argument: The Grand old lady of Aberdeen needs a brand new mini-skirt to exert her charms on potential suitors.

The consultation went ahead and it looked as if Acsef could not lose. Even the header for the poll questionnaire gave you a prompt if you didn’t know how to vote “Have Your Say: We believe Aberdeen needs a large, vibrant, cultural and civic space and gardens in the heart of the city for today and for future generations.”

The results of the consultation were reported on the 13th April 2010; a majority of 1,270 said no to the city square project. Oops.

Local businessmen were not happy with the result of the consultation and wrote a letter to the Council urging them to go ahead

An analysis of the vote was published by Acsef. “The consultation results show that the public were nearly evenly divided over the City Square Project as proposed, although overall more were against the project than for it.” Don’t you just crack up at that “nearly evenly-divided” bit when a majority of 1,270 said no.

http://cdn.activecommerce.net/content/csp/CSP_Consultation_Report_FINAL.pdf

More of that wacky humour was to follow. Acsef provided a break-down of the comments made by people online during the consultation.

“I value having in the heart of the City this secluded amphitheatre with its mature trees and think it would be an act of vandalism to sweep it away.” Recorded as voting yes to the city square.

“We don’t want Aberdeen to turn into a concrete jungle” Recorded as voting yes to the city square.

“The prospect of a huge square in place of the gardens is a terrible prospect and I have yet to understand the contention that this is necessary for the future well economic welfare of the city…. do not support the project.” Recorded as voting yes to the city square.

There are over 200 responses like this in the report.

http://cdn.activecommerce.net/content/csp/Appendix2a-Feedback_Forms-Sorted_YesNo.pdf

Local businessmen were not happy with the result of the consultation and wrote a letter to the Council urging them to go ahead with the city square project and ignore the no vote, ‘due to misunderstanding of the project among the public’ and an ‘inability’ to appreciate its impact. Cheeky, cheeky!

http://news.scotsman.com/news/Reject-city-square-at-your.6275672.jp

Acsef now had the tricky matter of keeping the city square project going despite the public vote against it.

This was because as Ascef minutes record, “There is a mandate from the business community to proceed to the next stage”. There was also the unfortunate position of the Labour party who had come out against the plan. They had to be dealt with. The minutes of the Acsef meeting on the 13th April mention that:

“Following discussion amongst private sector members of the ACSEF Board after the Special meeting on 22 March a letter had been drafted to senior members of the Labour Party expressing disappointment at the Party’s stance in relation to the project. Private sector Board members approved this for issue.” http://www.acsef.co.uk/uploads/reports/21/13%20April%2010.doc

The Labour party were very upset at these comments, given that this was a publically funded organisation taking a political stance on a highly-controversial issue (both Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire councils fund Acsef with £230,000 a year each). Nevertheless, they were puzzled as to why no letter had ever arrived and further curious as to why Acsef had stated that it had received no reply from any of the Labour politicians it had been addressed to. It later transpired that due to a mix-up within Acsef, no letter had actually been posted. Labour MSP Richard Baker wrote in a scathing letter to the Press and Journal: “When Acsef is confused about how this letter was sent, and when it certainly has not been seen by its intended recipients, how on earth can they comment on a lack of a response? This typifies the shambolic way this organisation has handled this crucial issue for the future of Aberdeen.”

http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/1821147?UserKey=

The time had come for creative thinking if the project was not to be lost. The original report on the consultation had stated “11,943 people went on to submit formal responses that have been recorded in the statistics. This is a huge response rate when compared to similar style consultations. For example, the Edinburgh Tram consultation had just under 3,500 direct responses.” This was not good enough though. The board met on the 22nd of March and hatched a cunning plan “If views are roughly split there is an opportunity to say that although the public has spoken this is only in relatively small numbers.

Shangri-La would be rebuilt in the centre of Aberdeen and people would come for miles to see the giant concrete slab

Those wishing to see the status quo are in the minority compared to those who wish to see change such as updating and modernising the gardens.” Brilliant! As the great polemicists would say, it’s not the logic of your position that matters, it’s how you frame the argument that is all important. Or putting it another way:

“When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master— that’s all.”

This perspective was the key to moving forward, especially in view of Sir Ian Wood’s position expressed at the same meeting:

“A negative outcome from the consultation would be accepted graciously as the voice of the people having spoken. If the outcome is split, one of the key conditions would be Aberdeen City Council support and resource to take the project forward to the next stage. “

http://www.acsef.co.uk/uploads/reports/21/22%20March%2010.doc

The Council decided to pre-empt the consultation and vote on the issue. This they duly did on May 19th, 2010 and they agreed to progress the city square project (or the city garden project as they now wanted it to be called).

Acsef clearly like a challenge and they had a whopper. The scheme was not only highly unpopular but given the grandiose scale of the city square (it would be just slightly smaller than Red Square in Moscow), the costs were likely to be vast, reasonably £200 Million or more. Sir Ian Wood had promised £50 Million towards the cost of the project.

Where was all the extra money coming from?

Aberdeen Council had the utterly bonkers idea that they would borrow up to £200 Million from central government funds largely to pay for the square and then wait for the money to be paid back by revenue from extra business rates. Shangri-La would be rebuilt in the centre of Aberdeen and people would come for miles to see the giant concrete slab (earlier this year Acsef had ran an advert in the Press and Journal describing the city square as “a unique opportunity to put the city on the must visit list”).

City-centre traders would be making so much extra money that the rateable value for their businesses would go through the roof. An extra twist to the saga came from the September Council Finance Committee. Consultants were to be asked “to make it clear that they are required to produce a business case that ensures zero financial risk to the Council.” So the Council borrows up to £200 Million with no risk at all. Hilarious! Aberdeen Council could potentially put the makers of Xmas cracker jokes out of business. In fact, ‘crackers’ just about sums it all up.

http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/1940121?UserKey=

Yet the Council would have everybody think that the city square is a done deal; it is anything but. It is at least 18 months away from planning submission, everything is running at least 4 – 6 months late and very little of the project plan has actually happened yet. There is much that could go wrong with the scheme before long and it probably will.

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,

In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away—
For the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.

I wish you a Merry Xmas and I reckon that a happy new year for everyone will see the back of the city square folly. Join Friends of Union Terrace Gardens through our website and help send it out of the way: www.friendsofutg.org

The Triple Kirks

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Dec 182010

By Bob Smith.

Gless an concrete aroon the spire
Raising hackles an causin ire
Thae designs fer The Triple Kirks
Aa drawn up by stupid birks

I can only think some philistine
Drim’t iss plans wid be fine
Nae thocht for fit wis roon aboot
A bonnie skyline gien the boot

Gless boxes seem a the rage
Architects nae langer sage
Foo muckle spent ti dream o iss
Some I think are takin the piss

Aneuch’s aneuch I hear fowk cry
Will plans be passed on the sly?
Stewartie Milne ye maan be jokin
At thae designs fowk are boakin

We are telt they’ll aa fit
Wi Widdies plans fit are shit
Ti build ower the bonnie UTG
Please fae idiots lit us be free

If ye think ma creeticism ower the score
Jist myn fit’s geen on afore
St Nicholas Hoose an Union Square
It’s time ti shout nae mair! nae mair!

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”2010

Bag A Bargain And Help Save Gardens!

Aberdeen City, Articles, Featured, Opinion No Responses »

Dec 102010

By Vicky Rider.

The end of another year approaches – the end of a bad year for democracy in Aberdeen and a year in which we have seen proposals for our city which many citizens find very hard to stomach. One proposal in particular would see the complete destruction of Union Terrace Gardens.

Sir Ian Wood made the city of Aberdeen an offer that our council simply couldn’t refuse; £50 million towards the cost (estimated by some to be well over £300 million in total) of building a “City Square” over Union Terrace Gardens. His parameters include raising the area to street level and connecting it with Denburn and Belmont Street. A public consultation ensued, plagued by problems with online voting. The results clearly indicated the people of Aberdeen did not want the City Square and the project lost the vote; 45% for the Square to 55% against.

However, after a fraught council meeting attended by many concerned citizens and a final vote resulting in a stalemate (largely due to many abstentions from councilors who were perceived to have a vested interest in saving UTG), the lord provosts deciding vote decided the fate of the gardens. Past convention has dictated that a deciding vote from the LP should uphold the status quo of the current situation, however on this occasion he chose to move the City Square project forward.

His decision not only shocked the city but also destroyed Peacock Visual Arts plans for a new art centre that was to be built under the arches of UTG. Peacock had already secured planning permission and a huge majority of the funding needed to complete this project and although there were mixed feeling among UTG supporters about whether the art centre was a good idea, it would have preserved most of the gardens and provided much needed facilities including disabled access.

do your Christmas shopping AND help save Union Terrace Gardens at the same time?

The council now plans to borrow at least £200 million to complete the City Square project at a time when they are considering canceling music tuition for the city’s children and discussing closing parks and libraries.

They spent £300,000 on a public consultation that was ignored and nearly £500,000 funding Acsef (Aberdeen City and Shire Economic Future – the “public-private partnership” driving forward the development at UTG). This “public-private” body has yet to receive any private funding.

Friends of Union Terrace Gardens formed to fight this proposal and are determined that Union Terrace Gardens will be preserved, improved and loved again.

They have already recruited volunteers to clean and repaint the arches, started getting the lights fixed and begun to investigate the possibility of reopening the beautiful Victorian toilets and installing proper disabled access. They have held many successful events including mass picnics, evenings of acoustic music and a car boot sale.

Now, this hard-working group is holding a festive get together in the gardens on the 18th of December at 1.30pm with mince pies, lucky dips for the kids, a brass band and carol singing, take a break from the Christmas shopping and enjoy some festive fun!

Do you want to do your Christmas shopping AND help save Union Terrace Gardens at the same time?

FoUTG have LOTS of goodies for sale this Christmas; bags, calendars, calendar posters, car stickers, T-shirts, hoodies and more.

There will also be a stall in the Trinity Centre on the 20th of December so put it in your calendar and get some Christmas gifts!

For an order form and more info; http://friendsofutg.org/contactus or email Saveutg@gmail.com.

You can join FoUTG at http://friendsofutg.org/home/86 or by writing to FoUTG, PO Box 10507, Aberdeen.

FoUTG would like to wish all it’s supporters and those helping with the campaign a very Happy Christmas and a great New Year.

Arise An Be Revoltin

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Creative Writing, Environment, Opinion No Responses »

Nov 192010

By Bob Smith.

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
It’s time ti be revoltin
Agin the destruction o oor city
Yer brains they need a-joltin

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
Show yer nae Widdie’s flunkies
This mannie treats us wi disdain
As tho’ we’re bliddy donkeys

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
An ask Sir Ian faar wis he
Fin the ship building an the fishin
They war jist allowed ti dee

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
We’re bein selt doon the river
Eence an SPV gets oor gairdens
They’ll aa be lost firivver

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
It’s time ti show yer mettle
Oppose the biggin ower UTG
Bring it back inti fine fettle

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
Afore it’s ower damn’t late
An aa oor sheepish cooncillors
Hand it awa upon a plate

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
Are ye lions or a wee moose
Stan up for aa oor heritage
Afore the diggers are let loose

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
Man the wa’s an the city gate
Afore ye ken faar we are
We‘ll hae become Trumpton State

Arise gweed fowk o Aiberdeen
Tak heid o aa these verses
An gie a skelp ti cooncillors lugs
Or kick them up their erses

Tax Incremental Funding And The City Square

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Nov 122010

By Mike Miller.

When the City Square Project was originally considered by Aberdeen City Full Council on 19th May 2010 little was known about Tax Incremental Financing (TIF) and indeed, at that time, it was not even a legal mechanism for funding regenerative projects. The origins of TIF are in the United States where it has been a mechanism for funding regenerative project for the past 50 years or so.

Indeed so widespread is its use that the the term ‘regeneration’ is virtually interchangeable with that of TIF.

Its widespread use in the States has led to somewhat strange situations with regeneration centring on a single shed in a field in order for one state to lure WalMart in at the expense of another! This is one of the flaws associated with TIF; potentially all it does is move business from one area in need of regeneration to another as incentives, by way of paid for infrastructure, lure commercial companies across State boundaries.

So is it suitable for the funding proposition that is the ‘regeneration’ of Aberdeen City centre? Well the first question is; does the city centre require regeneration? Sir Ian Wood obviously believes that it does and has proposed to gift the City some £50 million to support the claim. He describes the city centre as ‘second-rate’. The regeneration proposed is very specific – it must be a city square (well actually now a city garden since the public rejected the square concept in the deeply flawed consultation process earlier this year that was driven by ACSEF) with walk on access from all four sides. This will require the engineering of a raised platform thus obliterating the Denburn Valley and destroy the existing city garden in the process. But then you know all this. The key is that the City Square is essentially a civic project and, this is important, will not generate in its own right enough commercial ‘revenue’ to repay any TIF loan (because that is what TIF is – a loan that has to be repaid ) required to fund the infrastructure build.

So how will the TIF borrowing be re-paid? Well the original proposition was that a variety of sites dotted around the city would suddenly become attractive to developers, as a result of the City Square, and the business rates so generated would be used, in part, to repay the TIF. The other element that would contribute would come from the increased business rates generated in areas adjacent to the City Square. Now business rates can only go up because any given business is more profitable as a result of the regenerative project. All sounds good. Apart from its not good at all.

even with the Edinburgh proposals there are risks, more so with a stagnant economy because TIF relies heavily on business taking up the cudgels to build

Firstly the proposal that you can use business rates from properties that have no connection whatsoever with the City Square (for example the Oakbank school site, an original candidate for TIF loan repayment) is nonsense. This author has had conversations with TIF experts at the British Property Federation (whose job, amongst other things, is to promote the use of TIF where appropriate) who indicate quite clearly that you cannot repay TIF in this way.

Interestingly someone at the City Council must have picked up on this too because in the report to the City Council Finance Committee of September 28th it seems to have disappeared as a TIF repayment proposal.

This leaves the mechanism of the increased rates from adjacent businesses. Such TIF repayment is known as loose-coupling. In TIF terms loose-coupling is highly risky. This is because the linkage between TIF funded project and the surrounding rates increases is far from guaranteed. It is worth stressing this as all other TIF proposals in Scotland are closely-coupled. Close coupling is far less risky because the TIF funded infrastructure is directly linked to the development with which it is associated. Here’s an example. In Edinburgh infrastructure (roads, a pier, a marina, etc) are to be built in order to attract in developers to the brown field Leith waterfront to build (note that additional build is happening) some 2,800 homes and 900,000 commercial square footage of new properties that result specifically because of the TIF funded infrastructure.

Hopefully the difference between loose-coupling and close-coupling is clear and the greater viability of what is proposed in Edinburgh self evident. There is (unless you hate development of any kind) nothing wrong with TIF when it is correctly and sensibly applied. Even so everything is not clear cut. John Handley, a regeneration expert, writing in the Scotsman newspaper earlier this year quite clearly indicates that even with the Edinburgh proposals there are risks, more so with a stagnant economy because TIF relies heavily on business taking up the cudgels to build; more uncertain at a time when money is scarce and the need for new office space dubious.

Loose coupling has its place too, where there is blight in an area (i.e. the area is so undesirable and decrepit people have moved out and so have businesses and no one will touch development in its present state as it is completely non-viable), then TIF infrastructure can act to pump-prime an area so that business and residents return and start paying rates and council tax that then repays the loan – but there are still risks. For Aberdeen it makes no sense as no one would describe the centre of Aberdeen as ‘blighted’. There are some empty shop spaces but this is largely normal ‘churn’ and to some extent might actually indicate the over-representation of retail space in the city – is there more capacity than there are shops to fill the available space?

At the Finance committee of 28 September 2010 a paper was presented that sought to indicate that TIF could still be applied to a variety of projects within the city irrespective of whether the City Square project were to proceed.

The frailty of the TIF business case for the Aberdeen City projects has recently been alluded to in an article in Holyrood Magazine

There was some debate regarding the proposals as well there should have been as there are some fundamental flaws in what is being proposed. One potential scheme was for construction of infrastructure by way of a “high quality pedestrian route” with absolutely no indication of how the construction costs of this facility might be repaid; does building a pavement lead to increased business activity in an already prosperous city?

Worryingly for the citizens of Aberdeen, the Council, at a time when swinging budget cuts are to the fore, are seeking to borrow some £200m using TIF. The belief being that they can do so at zero risk to the Council. One presumes that they will seek a commercial sector 3rd party to under-write the borrowing, perhaps by way of a Special Purpose Vehicle, to which assets,including Union Terrace Gardens will be transferred. One cannot help but feel that the proposals are speculative at best and at worst could leave half completed construction projects scattered across Aberdeen – that’ll help the City’s image no end.

The frailty of the TIF business case for the Aberdeen City projects has recently been alluded to in an article in Holyrood Magazine. In the article, The TIF Factor in the 15 October issue, the City Council’s Project Director for Economic and Business Development indicates the risks associated with what is being proposed; the basis of which is that because of the City Square/Garden project, people will suddenly be more inclined to linger in the city centre and spend more (even more!) money. Such a model is dubious at the best of times but with a recession under-way and massive cuts still to come to the pubic sector, this could well be completely the wrong time to attempt such a tenuous approach.

As the Council scuttles around trying to jump onto the TIF bandwagon, bemused citizens are left to look on wondering just what could be achieved with Sir Ian Wood’s generous offer that would genuinely help the city without huge debts being incurred. Union Terrace Gardens could be improved and better access facilitated. St Nicholas House could be demolished and a new city square enabled by the closure of Broad Street; the Wallace Tower could be returned from the oblivion of Seaton Park and the upper deck of the St Nicholas Centre (a precursor of the City Square?) re-invigorated with connection to the new St Nicholas civic space.

This ‘second- rate ‘ blight if cleaned up and removed could give Aberdeen a city centre a face-lift without re-course to the potentially financially crippling projects that the TIF proposals seek to enable. It would also mean that the much loved Union Terrace Gardens need not be lost by insensitive development thus placating the majority who voted in favour of their retention all those months ago.

Mike Miller November 2010

Old Susannah’s Dictionary No. 9

Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Oct 222010

Old Susannah gets to grips with more tricky terms.

Old Susannah has been having a great time at the newly-opened Brewdog pub, across from Marischal College. Great selection of beers from this creative Aberdeenshire brewery and from other parts of the globe, as well as great food await you. They also happened to have my favourite ever cheese last time I was there.

I got to try a small glass of the Sink The Bismarck extra extra strong beer – which had been vilified in the press on the basis that people would be downing bottles of it just because it was so strong.

Some people wanted it banned and said it was nearly as bad for the world as Buckfast.

I tried it, I liked it, and I can say that no sensible person is any more likely to down massive quantities of it than they would be to drink 10 bottles of a strong liqueur: it is for gentle sipping only in small doses. Only drawback to this pub whatsoever is its location – expect a few unsavoury characters going in once the City Council mandarins move into Marischal College.

Profit-sharing
What did Aberdeen City Council expect six years ago when it sold Stewart Milne Group 11 acres of land in Westhills for £365,000 (wouldn’t you like a deal like that?)? They had expected to get a share of future profits if Milne sold or leased the land. They call this Profit-Sharing. Selling the land at market value to the highest bidder might have seemed like a good idea as would renting it, but the experts knew better; I am surprised those responsible aren’t coming forward to claim the praise they deserve. Someone in the Council cooked up this great deal, and we parted with land worth considerably more than the selling price, as the Court found this week, and awaited a share of future sale profits.

If you are still with me, Stewart Milne Group then sold the land – to another Milne company.

The City Council asked for its profit share, but alas, despite the great acumen of Milne, the land was sold at a lowish value and the sale from one branch of the Milne empire to another cost about £500K to arrange. Poor them! Therefore there were no profits to share at all, and fair enough. Perhaps the Council should have given Milne money to cover his losses on the deal.

You would think The Council would show a bit more understanding of the Milne shareholders’ needs, but they have actually taken the issue to Court to try and get a measly £1.7 million. You’d almost think we need the money the way ACC are pursuing this humble public servant, who thinks nothing of selflessly giving his time to sit on the board of ASCEF with no thought of personal gain or reward. It is a wonder Mr Milne can continue to do his best for Aberdeen’s citizens by trying to fill in their garden and build a shiny new stadium on greenbelt when he’s being so cruelly pursued. But the Council went ahead (spending taxpayers money all the while) to get the courts to agree Milne owes ACC the money.

After the judgment, the City Council had no comment. Doubtless they are busy preparing a statement saying why this was a good deal, how the price was determined, what other people were allowed to bid for the land, and what other land we’ve sold SMG. I can’t wait to read it.

Milne spokespeople however did comment to say not that they are sorry and will immediately give us £1.7 million pounds, but that they will be looking at their options. If however the Council has to make a further appeal, then taxpayers money will probably be used. How much money it will cost to get £1.7 million when we could have sold the land for more money isn’t important. This might be a good time to remind readers that ASCEF is meant to;

“… ensure a collaborative approach to growing the economy and enhancing quality of life”.

Cynics (if any out there) might wonder whether this is appropriate action for a member of ASCEF to be taking. But do console yourselves – there is now a new office complex on the Westhill land where sources tell me the architecture is beautiful, the HVAC works perfectly, and there are absolutely no leaks in the building’s fabric. We can only hope that more land will be made available for construction soon, and that ACC will leave this generous-spirited public servant alone.

Rebranding

If your product is losing popularity or if people are not on your side, then it’s time for some rebranding. Get yourself a consultant, spend some money, and you will be back on track before you know it. And that is what ASCEF have done with our tax money: It gives me great pleasure to announce that per the ASCEF website, “The project to elevate Union Terrace Gardens has been renamed the City Garden Project. Now that they put it that way, it seems like a much better idea. Not that we will ever know how much this exercise cost, but clearly you will agree it was worth every penny.

Last word (I hope) on animal cruelty
The beautiful Arabian mare featured in the news last week, with a massive chunk bitten out of its muzzle, has had to be destroyed following the attack by an out-of-control dog. Some person or persons have hung five kittens in Westhill outside of shops. Then we have the seagull shooter and the fox clubber. What is going on here?

I never intended this little column to become an animal cruelty feature, but the current crop of horror stories in Aberdeenshire can’t go without comment.

First, if you must own a dog which has been bred to be a powerful, unstoppable fighter, then definitely keep it on a leash and use a muzzle if you need to. The UK is filled with stories – eg the little girl in Dundee knocked off of her bicycle and mauled by two dogs – and the owners always say the same thing:

‘”It was always a nice dog, never any trouble, until it suddenly snapped for no reason”.

They usually are saying this to a child that’s been scarred for life (or to a coffin).

There is a message in these stories – but there are some dog owners out there who aren’t getting it. It was a beautiful, gentle horse that suffered horribly this time. I can’t imagine how the owner feels – but they were lucky they themselves weren’t seriously hurt. If things keep up, it won’t be long before it’s a child.

Secondly as to the small element of people who want to train their dogs to fight and to attack other animals, or people who deliberately inflict cruelty on helpless, innocent animals – someone please make that anonymous call to stop them. If you can stop a tragedy in the future, then you won’t be able to live with yourself if you do nothing now.

Finally, whoever killed the kittens needs to be identified. It is not a question of ‘if’ but ‘when’ their actions are going to escalate. Clearly they have been abused themselves, and if they’re not stopped more will suffer. Know something? Suspect something? Tell someone.

Views Of Menie – 2011 Calendar A Work Of Art

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Featured, News No Responses »

Oct 222010

The first run of a beautiful new calendar depicting the unique and stunning scenery of the Menie/Foveran coastal area has proved so popular that it has already sold out – within 3 weeks of production. Apart from raising funds for the Tripping Up Trump campaign, the pictures bear witness to the beauty and wildlife of the dunes and draw attention to the on-going destruction of a Site of Special Scientific Interest. A second run of the calendars is now being negotiated and will be available for sale in the coming weeks.

Indeed, despite a marked lack of coverage in most of the local media, this has been a very busy period for the Tripping Up Trump campaign as Rohan Beyts tells Aberdeen Voice;

‘”What with producing our newspaper, preparing the calendar, mounting an exhibition and organising the March of Menie it has been a period of intense activity for all of us.

While it seemed that the media could not get enough of Trump – threatening householders, running for president, claiming that his resort had been a ‘done deal’ and posing with his new doctorate – we decided to focus on the real issues – the loss of a wonderful national asset and the effects on the local community.

So the idea of putting on an event was mooted, a walk possibly in the dunes before winter set in, a show of support for the threatened householders and an exhibition close by to get across what the local press has not been saying. There were a few obstacles and time moved on. Was it going to be too much?

On 16th September came the announcement of that Degree.

We decided to do the walk – The March of Menie – from Balmedie to The Bunker in support of the householders.

Then there was the exhibition. It was a lot to organise in a mere 3 weeks but TUT is more than 2 people and a dog so we did. Could we get a suitable venue for the exhibition? Would the calendar be ready? Could we get the newspaper out? Yes, Yes and Yes again.

Despite information from the police to the contrary there was good route all the way to The Bunker.

The March was publicised on 21st September
A venue for the exhibition obtained on 3rd October
2 Slide shows were put together
Bob Smith agreed that we could display his wonderful verses
Displays were made on the Environment, People and Economics of the development.
Sheila Forbes and Susan Munro offered to provide light refreshments.
We were up and running (or marching).

On Saturday 9th October the March set off (a short delay was filled by some excellent drumming) with dogs, grannies, mothers, fathers, grandads ,sons, daughters, farmers, fishermen, workers, students, greens, socialists, lib dems, tories, graduates, soldiers; we had them all walking the dunes to the Bunker led by an excellent young piper and representatives of the families.

The Police and the Evening Express estimated 250 on the march so draw your own conclusions.

The calendars and David Milne’s book ‘Blinded by Bling??’ [Still available via Waterstones or Amazon] sold well at the exhibition. The calendar all but sold out in 10 days from the first production of 250 with no publicity other than word of mouth.

If you would like to pre-order from the next reprint e-mail me at r.beyts@btinternet.com and I will let you know when they will be available through the website. They cost £5.00 each plus P&P.”

Aberdeen Voice understands there have been a number of enthusiastic comments from those – including some professional photographers – who have already bought the A3-sized calendar;

‘Amazing, the pictures are fantastic.’
‘Wow, it shows just what we are in danger of losing’
‘Great value, that’s my Christmas presents sorted.’
‘Love the pictures and all the information on the back.’
Aberdeen Voice wishes TUT all the best of luck with the calendar, and are grateful for permission to reproduce those beautiful images.

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