Suzanne at Aberdeen Voice, Author at Aberdeen Voice

Suzanne at Aberdeen Voice

McRae Hails Revolution In Childcare And Employment

Jun 132014

With thanks to Paul Robertson.

Following on from a special meeting of the Scottish Government’s All-Women Cabinet Meeting in Edinburgh this week, a local SNP councillor has claimed that women in the north-east stand to benefit from a revolution in childcare and employment rights in the event of a Yes vote.

Councillor Fiona McRae has hailed the Scottish Government’s proposals for 30 hours of free childcare per week for all three and four year olds, along with guarantees on raising the minimum wage, protecting the welfare state and ensuring a fairer pension system.

Cllr McRae said:

“The Scottish Government plans for a revolution in childcare which will benefit many families in Scotland. The prohibitive cost of child care means that many women who want to work, or who want to increase their hours find it impossible to do so.”

“It is one of those rare things these days in politics – a genuinely life-changing policy, which will save families thousands of pounds in childcare costs, create new job opportunities and raise living standards for thousands of women who would otherwise be taking reduced hours or leaving well-paid positions when they have children.”

Along with proposals for a comprehensive childcare system, the Scottish Government has committed to raising the minimum wage in line with inflation – a move which will benefit thousands of women in low paid jobs.

Banff and Buchan MP Dr Eilidh Whiteford commented:

“Had the minimum wage kept pace with inflation, our lowest-paid workers would have been more than £600 a year better off. The proposals put forward by the Scottish Government will directly benefit everyone in a low-paid job significantly, and help address the scandal of working families living in poverty.”

“In the north-east, those who work for low wages will be among those who benefit the most from a Yes vote in September.”

Local women are also invited to attend a special event next month aimed at undecided women voters. The Women for Independence event will take place in Dalrymple Hall, Fraserburgh on July 26 from 2pm.

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Musings Of A Music Photographer No. 13

Aberdeen City, Featured, Opinion 2 Responses »

Jun 132014

Julie Thompson continues her series on photographing bands in and around Aberdeen and the Shire taking in local and touring bands – far too many to list here – and concludes her chat to local music photographer Dod Morrison.

The Sex Pistols Experience – Credit: Julie Thompson

So, it’s been a while. I’ve been keeping busy and with the festival season on the way, I kicked it off by visiting Inverness for Brew at the Bog.

This was a fun day with many great acts, including local band, The Little Kicks, who played the main stage early in the afternoon before having to dash off on a train southbound. You can see my review of it here.

Another thing I’ve been doing was to join forces with Still Burning, of Flares n Seagulls and to try and get into writing reviews a bit more.

This has been hard work and has not left a lot of time for much else – but I’m hoping that will calm down a bit once we have proper workflows in place.

So, gig-wise, what’s been on my radar since my last musings?

Going back to April there was the much better than I’d expected The Sex Pistols Experience on the newly expanded stage at The Moorings Bar, a very lively Pulled Apart by Horses at The Tunnels, and the fantastic The Temperance Movement at The Lemon Tree – a gig I’d been impatiently waiting for.

A review of The Temperance Movement by Suzanne Kelly is here. My review of that is on Flares n Seagulls.

Kicking off May was the bouncy rapper, Stanley Odd at The Tunnels and the ever-popular UK Subs playing a sold out show The Moorings Bar – a busy 3 days was topped off by The Brew at the Bog festival, where Stanley Odd and Admiral Fallow headlined.

The Media Whores played The Moorings bar the following weekend, and mid-May brought the Mickey 9’s to The Moorings Bar.

A week later the American foursome The Octopus Project played The Tunnels – a tricky low lighting gig with a very colourful backdrop and very catchy music.

Most recently, I had a trip down to Dundee to catch Peace at Fat Sams.

That was a good gig with a very bouncy crowd.

Just around the corner from Fat Sams is Buskers, another music venue. Playing there were Fat Goth, who were launching their new album.

Just in that small area of Dundee I could hear live music coming from multiple buildings – I was really surprised by the amount. Dundee is not so far away for this sort of night out – we drove down leaving Aberdeen around 4pm, went to 2 gigs, had some takeout food then drove home, arriving around 12:30.

Dod Morrison has also been keeping busy, with The Rebellion punk festival and recent trip to America.

I asked him what he is most proud of in his music photography career so far:

“I’m proud of my Scottish music photo of 2013 winning pic http://thepopcop.co.uk/2014/02/the-best-scottish-music-photographs-of-2013/ . But have quite a few that I like but the Rebellion punk Festival mini magazine probably pips all the rest.”

Festivals – yeah or nay? Any favourites?

“Fooking yah, Rebellion festival without a shadow of a doubt the best festival anywhere in the world.. Where I do both sides I take photos and run the photo side of and get all the requests for passes, so I know how some PRs do feel. And Glastonbury too… Great festival.”

Finally, any tips for those just starting out?

“Not to compare to other Photographers , we all have different styles… and that when you apply for photo pass it really is only for the main band and does not include the supports, this has luckily only happened to me a couple of times once at the SECC Glasgow and most recently at the Music Hall Aberdeen. Also if you want to watch the bands you also should purchase a ticket- in some cities you will be asked to leave and not see the show if you don’t have a ticket.”

Thanks Dod!

The Manic Shine played The Moorings Bar on the 6th June. I first came across this band at the Fat Hippy studios last year.

I was suitable impressed – so much so, I went home and bought their first album. They crowd funded their second album, which you can listen to in full on their website here.

Mid June takes me to Northallerton in Yorkshire for 4 days of festival fun at Willowman Festival where I’ll be shooting for Flares n Seagulls. Headliners are The Wailers and Craig Charles.

The Blockheads and Ruts DC are also playing, along with many other tasty treats.

Pretty sure I’ll be knackered after this and tied to my PC for a very long time processing photos – but it will be worth it.

It is inevitable that these musing will come to an end, certainly in their current form – after a very intensive ‘apprenticeship’ and with my experiences levelling off in the main, anything new I have to tell is limited.

Rather than repeating myself, ad nauseum, I am debating either ending the series or changing their nature to a roundup (maybe monthly) of live music in and around Aberdeen and the Shire.

What has been and how it was and what is to come.

Some things I mention may be even further afield, like the festival on my to-do list for June.

For the live music scene to continue and grow it needs people to attend.

Maybe I can help a little by informing people what’s on out there. Anyway, comments are enabled – let me know what you think.

GTM Classic And Vintage Gathering: Entries Sought

Aberdeenshire, Information No Responses »

May 232014

Grampian Transport Museum is accepting entries for its Classic and Vintage Afternoon Gathering 2014. With thanks to Martyn Smith, Marketing and Events Organiser, Grampian Transport Museum.

The Grampian Transport Museum is now accepting entries for its annual Classic and Vintage Afternoon Gathering on Sunday 20th July.
A traditional, relaxed meeting for owners of all pre-1990 cars, commercials and motorcycles, the gathering represents an excellent opportunity for enthusiasts to meet and display their cherished classic.

The event is also open to museum visitors as part of the standard admission price.

Pre-booked entry for car owners is £10; this is a donation which will be used to fund educational visits to the Grampian Transport Museum for local schools. Included in the price are admission to the museum itself and light refreshments – tremendous value considering the standard admission rate of £9.50 or £7.50 concessions.

Entry forms can be downloaded from the museum website at www.gtm.org.uk and should be completed and returned by Monday 7^th July.

The Grampian Transport Museum features a number of exciting and exclusive additions for 2014, including a Great Train Robbery exhibit – featuring real vehicles used in the raid – and a multi-million pound HGV simulator. The event is sure to add another dimension to the museum experience for visitors.

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The 1964 Aberdeen Typhoid Epidemic – Part One

Aberdeen City, Featured, History 1 Response »

May 232014

2014 is the 50th anniversary of the terrifying outbreak of typhoid in Aberdeen. In part one of a two part article Duncan Harley looks at some of the issues surrounding the episode.

Headlines such as “Typhoid in Bully Tin” would put many Aberdonians and indeed consumers all around the globe off eating the product, some even to the present day.
The series of events which led to the Aberdeen Typhoid Epidemic was however global in nature and involved significant governmental failure.

Amid cheers from assembled friends and curious onlookers and with a rousing tune from the Aberdeen Police Pipe Band, a tired but relieved young woman emerged from isolation in Aberdeen’s Tor-Na-Dee Hospital clutching a bouquet and wearing a brightly coloured sash which proclaimed her the “Typhoid Queen 1964”.

The date was Friday 19th June 1964 and following a thirty day ordeal, twenty three year old assistant librarian Evelyn Gauld had become the first of over five hundred patients being treated for Typhoid to be discharged from the Granite City’s hospitals following what is still remembered worldwide as the Aberdeen Typhoid Epidemic.

This dubious title “Typhoid Queen” was a gift to the press and headlines right across the globe proclaimed her “The symbol of the city”.

After more than four weeks of headlines dedicated to the plight of the beleaguered citizens of Aberdeen an end to the epidemic was in sight and a Royal visit by HRH Queen Elizabeth, nine days later, seemed to confirm that the city which had been described as a leper colony was now safe enough for royalty to travel through, albeit in a sealed limousine.

The Aberdeen typhoid outbreak began quietly on May 16th 1964 when two university students were admitted to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary with a diagnosis of pyrexia of unknown origin.

They had been fevered for several days and on May 20th bacteriological results confirmed a diagnosis of typhoid fever by which time the two patients had been transferred to the City Hospital which was the fever and isolation unit at the time of the outbreak.

Further cases quickly emerged and by the end of May there were 238 suspected cases being treated at various hospitals throughout the city.

By the end of the epidemic a total of 540 cases had been admitted with suspected typhoid with 507 being confirmed as having the disease including 86 children under the age of twelve.

There were three deaths plus an additional eight linked cases treated elsewhere including one in Canada.

Indeed so called “typhoid contact” was a feature of the outbreak and statistics compiled by Dr William Walker shortly after the outbreak indicate that the 507 confirmed cases derived from a mere 309 city households out of a total of around 58,000 households in Aberdeen City.

By June 17th the epidemic was deemed officially over and although many patients would continue to be treated after this date, the number of fresh hospital admissions had dwindled to single figures with no new cases being diagnosed after July 31st.

There have been several such public health epidemics since 1964 with the 1996 Lanarkshire E. coli O157 food poisoning outbreak ranking as being amongst the most devastating.

A total of twenty-one people died in the Lanarkshire E. coli outbreak after eating contaminated meat supplied by a butcher’s shop in Wishaw, Lanarkshire.

In 1998, Sheriff Principal Graham Cox concluded after a two-month inquiry that the shopkeeper, John Barr, had been ignorant of food hygiene procedures and had also deceived food inspectors.

Despite subsequent denials, the William Low supermarket in Aberdeen, which was identified as being the most likely initial source of the typhoid epidemic, also suffered from poor hygiene procedures resulting in contamination of hands, utensils and surfaces and leading to contaminated products being sold for consumption by the public.

In this instance it was proven that a 6 pound can of Argentinian corned beef had been the infective source and that not only had the meat been subject to poor hygiene procedures, but it had also been stored in an un-refrigerated shop window in summer heat leading to an marked increase in the rate of bacterial growth.

Although many associate corned beef with corn, it is in fact a salt cured product treated with “corns” of salt. Used in many cultures as a means of preserving meat it has been variously called Salt Beef, Bully Beef or in India and Bangladesh as Hunter Beef.

A staple for troops at war due to its non-perishable nature, it has been produced on an industrial scale for over 200 years. Although consumption decreased markedly in the period after the Second World War there is still significant global demand for the product, much of which is manufactured in South America.

In the early 1960’s, the UK imported around 200,000 tons of beef from Argentina annually, amounting to around 14% of the nations requirements with a significant proportion being canned corned beef intended both for current consumption and for governmental stockpiling in case of nuclear war.

By 1963 typhoid, an illness caused in the main by poor food hygiene resulting in humans ingesting the bacteria through eating or drinking, had all but been eradicated in the UK. Public health education combined with improvements to public utilities such as chlorination of water and treatment of sewage had borne fruit.

There had been outbreaks such as that at Croydon in 1937, where after investigation it was found that a sewage worker who was a carrier of typhoid had been allowed to work on the water supply during a period when the water purification plant was out of action. The resulting outbreak affected 344 of which 43 died.

Aberdeen was no stranger to the disease either. An outbreak in the city’s Woodside killed 6 of 35 cases in 1935 with the source being identified as a local shop selling cooked meats.

However the notion that Argentinian corned beef might be a source of the disease seemed to break new ground. Unless that is one takes into account the Harlow typhoid outbreak of June 1963. After extensive testing of public water and sewage supplies proved negative the source was suspected to be a local butchers shop selling imported corned beef.

government officials concerned with overseas trade were apparently not keen to publicly blame the Argentinian factories

The Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries and Food (MAFF) began to look at the source of the canned beef and attention soon spotlighted issues to do with the cooling of the cans during manufacture.

Seemingly the possibility of the bacteria surviving the high temperatures used during production was almost zero.

However, since the Argentine factories concerned with the production of British imported corned beef routinely used untreated river water in the cooling process suspicion soon focused on the possibility of contaminated water entering through burst can seams and causing bacterial contamination of the contents.

Following a further outbreak of typhoid at South Shields in June 1963, Enoch Powel Minister of Health was asked in parliament “how many of the recent outbreaks of typhoid fever had been traced to Argentine corned beef and what steps had been taken to warn the public”, the Ministers reply was simply “None.”

Seemingly politics had intervened and public health had become secondary. The government officials concerned with overseas trade were apparently not keen to publicly blame the Argentinian factories until a diplomatic solution to the issue of untreated river water infected with raw sewage could be found.

There was no immediate action apart from a recommendation that a mere two MAFF meat inspectors should visit a total of sixteen meat producing countries including the Argentine over the following few months.

The government were quite clearly not prepared to risk upsetting a trading partner and worse still, stocks of potentially infected corned beef stored in UK warehouses would continue to be released into the UK food chain despite the possible risk to public health.

A further outbreak took place at Bedford in the October of 1963 but still officials stalled regarding measures which might have prevented further outbreaks.

The Argentine factory identified as the probable source of the infected cans had agreed to introduce chlorination of cooling water by early January 1963 but MAFF held stocks of almost 2.5 million cases of suspect corned beef produced there dating back to 1953.

Eventually, much of the suspect stock would be shipped abroad for consumption elsewhere with a recommendation that it should be re-processed. This process of disposal would take several years to complete.

The effects of the political indifference to the spectre of further typhoid outbreaks were to have far reaching consequences for the city of Aberdeen and indeed the entire North East of Scotland.

Scotland the What parodied the episode in humorous terms:

“I can mind the typhoid epidemic at its worst, we never washed wir hands unless we did the lavvie first”

For many in the North East however it was no joke.

(To be continued)

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BA Vintage Country Fair

Aberdeenshire, Featured, History No Responses »

May 232014

By Duncan Harley.

The Aberdeenshire village of Lyne of Skene hosted the 11th annual BA Vintage Country Fair at the weekend.

Over 500 exhibitors and a record number of visitors attended what must be the largest event of its kind in North East Scotland.

With traction engines galore, including a 1914 Fowler A7 Road Locomotive plus Grampian Transport Museum’s Sentinal Steam Wagon, the event attracted enthusiasts of all ages.

Tractors, classic vehicles and miniature steam engines were very much in evidence throughout the two day event. The military entries included a Willys Jeep and a 1940’s Bren Gun Carrier.

The weekends entertainment included performances by the Kintore Pipe Band, the Parade of Steam and Mark Wylie’s Drakes of Hazard who delighted children of all ages with a death defying act involving his stunt Indian Runner Ducks crossing the Bridge over the River Quack.

Heritage machinery is at its best when in use and the ploughing demonstrations were a major attraction for many with vintage tractors plus a steam plough in operation throughout both days.

The event supports local charities and organisations and has helped to raise in excess of £30,000 over the past 10 years.

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Bon Accord Baths Campaign Picks Up Steam

Aberdeen City, Community, Featured No Responses »

May 232014

By Suzanne Kelly.

With local councillors from all parties supporting the move to reopen Bon Accord Baths, surely the thousands who want them reopened will prevail. The BBC was on hand recently for a photo call. Despite having a very small window of time to get supporters to the baths on a work day, Craig Adams, leading the Bon Accord Campaign, got nearly 100 people down on the day to show their support.

As well as the BBC, STV and Northsound were on hand, looking for photos and quotes. Aberdeen Voice spoke to one of the many supporters on the day, Kate Urbaniak, and her partner.

Kate said:

“It’s a shame about how things are going on here; look at St Nicholas House. I learned how to swim in these baths, and if there is a chance they could be put to good use, then they should be. I used to come here, my family would come here, and people used to come here and have baths if they didn’t have baths at home. It’s a great building, and I’ve never been in nicer baths.”

Mr Urbaniak talked about the carbon footprint of the people who would be driving to the large new pool and how convenient the bon accord baths were for transport.

There are many reasons for opening this much-loved city centre recreation opportunity; for more information look here. https://www.facebook.com/savebonaccordbaths Many skills will be needed to get the project going; see how you can help.

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Walk to Beat Blood Cancer – Sun 18 May, Hazelhead Park

Aberdeen City, Charity No Responses »

May 092014

With thanks to Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research.

Join us at Hazlehead Park, Aberdeen and enjoy a splendid walk through the the park, whilst enjoying the view of all its beauty. Dog lovers are most welcome for our Paws to Beat Blood Cancer. You can walk in memory of a loved one, to celebrate a life saved or simply for a great day out!

This lovely walk leads through the nurseries and den wood, where you can take in all its splendour.

The walk starts at Hazlehead Park, Hazelhead Avenue, Aberdeen, AB15 8HB.

Registration / Sign In opens at 10.00 am with the dog walk starting at 10.30 am and the
walk starting at 11 am.

The Pre-registration fee until 11pm on Thursday 15th May, for adult walkers is £10, under 12s are just £5,

dog & owner is £15. For a discounted price of £25 for the family, simply register two adults and two children using the online registration form and your discounted price will be calculated at the end.

Registration fees on the day will be £15 for adults, £5 for under 12s, dog & owner £20 and a Family of 2 adults and 2 children will be £30.

Families are very welcome to bring their dog using the family price above.

Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research is a leading UK charity dedicated to improving the lives of patients with all types of blood cancer, including leukaemia, lymphoma and myeloma.

See more at: http://leukaemialymphomaresearch.org.uk/event/walking

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Christine Tobin To Play Blue Lamp, May 22

Aberdeen City, Featured, Gigs and Concerts No Responses »

May 012014

Singer Christine Tobin, who appears at The Blue Lamp on May 22, might be crowned Vocalist of the Year by order of Parliament by the time she arrives in Gallowgate, says promoter Rob Adams.

Christine Tobin appears at The Blue Lamp on May 22

Dublin-born Tobin, who studied at the Guildhall School of Music, has just been shortlisted for the title, along with recent Aberdeen Jazz Festival star Zara MacFarlane and two other singers, in the Parliamentary Jazz Awards, the UK’s most prestigious recognition for jazz musicians, educators, media workers and organisations.

Nomination is open to the public but the final decisions are made by the All Party Parliamentary Jazz Appreciation Group, whose members represent both Commons and Lords and work to raise the profile of UK jazz.

The results will be announced on May 13 in a ceremony on the Commons’ Terrace Pavilion and having come close to awards for Best Musician and Best Album in previous years, Tobin, 51, is hoping that this will be third time lucky.

“It’s always nice to get recognition for your work,”

says Tobin, who won Best Vocalist at the 2008 BBC Jazz Awards and a British Composer Award for her 2012 album Sailing to Byzantium. She also won a Herald Angel at the Edinburgh Fringe last August for the show that she’s bringing to Aberdeen, A Thousand Kisses Deep, her salute to singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen.

She will be accompanied by guitarist Phil Robson, who has worked with Barbra Streisand, and double bassist Dave Whitford

A Thousand Kisses Deep is also the title of Tobin’s latest Proper Note album, launched at a sold-out concert at Ronnie Scott’s in March. It comes just in time to mark Leonard Cohen’s 80th birthday year.

“I’ve been a fan of his since I was ten,” says Tobin.

“My sister had the Fill Your Head with Rock album, a diverse compilation of early 1970s music. Leonard Cohen’s ‘You Know Who I Am’ was on it and I loved it. Forty years later I still love it and I’m really looking forward to singing it at The Blue Lamp because it’s such a great, warmly-intimate venue.”

Thu May 22: Blue Lamp, 121 Gallowgate, Aberdeen 8pm 01224 641122 www.jazzatthebluelamp.com

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Walking Frae The Broch To The ‘Deen – A Charity Fundraiser

Aberdeenshire, Charity 2 Responses »

Apr 252014

With thanks to Suzanne Kelly.

2 North 4 South is a fundraising event to raise money for individuals with learning disabilities in Aberdeen.

On the 31st of May & the 1st of June, a group of around 70 people will be walking non-stop, or with minimum stops, from Fraserburgh to Aberdeen over 24 hours.
The money they raise will be used to provide ‘fun’ for learning disabled people, such as musical instruments, movies, arts & crafts materials, and so on.

One of the organisers, Frederick Sarran commented about people with learning disabilities in our area, saying:-

“We, All Shapes And Sizes (ASAS), believe they need more than just ‘care’.”

The charity’s Facebook charity page can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/asascharity; its aims are set out as:

“Our aim is to enrich the lives of ALD’s by promoting social inclusion by means of outings and activities such as Arts and Crafts and more.”

Many of those doing the walk work with people with learning disabilities, young and old, but anyone who is up to the challenge is welcome to get in touch with the organisers and join in.

ASAS sets out its principles on its website:

“Our vision is to enhance life of Adults with Learning Disabilities/Difficulties (ALD) and mental health issues by promoting social inclusion to those individuals and to raise awareness & understanding to the public. By enhancing their lives & sense of wellbeing is to become a valued member of society via inclusion in all things.

“We aim to use a person centred approach directly to one individual and/or within a group, in order to aid & help facilitate crafts, arts, outings and other future activities within Balnagask Court (Aberdeen) and in the wider community. To enhance a sense of personal well being is to educate with a therapeutic approach and fun means, this results in building trust and confidence.

“Our values are to treat all individuals with respect and courtesy regardless of colour, gender, religion, etc… We act with dignity & care in a non-judgmental way towards all individuals, no matter of the level of difficulties they may have. Those values also apply towards each other members of All Shapes And Sizes.

“Our goals are to branch out and liaise with other charities sharing our values, for the good of all Adults with Learning Disabilities/Difficulties and mental health service users within the wider community. We aim to introduce further activities and continuous improvements to Balnagask Court communal area.”

There is a Facebook page for the event: https://www.facebook.com/events/237388926444110/
Tickets for the event are available here: http://asascharity.org/buy-tickets-for-2-north-4-south/

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Old Susannah No. 148 – Life Expectancy

Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Apr 182014

Old Susannah gets to grips with letting go of a great local talent, and the latest government wheezes, locally and nationally.

Another eventful week passes in the Granite City, bringing good news and some sad. Children have done arts and crafts in Union Terrace Gardens, organised by Aberdeen Inspired. This is despite the city’s officer Gordon McIntosh insisting the balustrades will fall down any day, and the gardens aren’t safe to use.

Inspired even managed to hold their events without scores of crowd barriers or 7’ tall security guards. Rumours are that Gordon may be about to make some dynamic changes of one sort or another.

The campaign to save Bon Accord Baths is gaining more momentum; some £5 million pounds is needed. However, in a city with our level of wealth we should be able to do this. In fact, Aberdonians apparently have more disposable income than almost anyone else in the UK.

We still need food banks, mind. In the UK, over one million people rely on food banks, but they’re probably just benefit scroungers and immigrants (remind me to look up the amount of this year’s UK defence budget again).

Surprisingly some good news comes from the city council, where funds from outdated, surplus accounts were given to local causes such as the Cyreneans. It’s not a huge amount of money, but after the Kate Dean/Kevin Stewart council’s assault on our charities and good causes, this is quite a turnaround.

I learned how to make pasta at an amazingly fun course at Nick Nairn’s school. You may remember the then city council almost didn’t give Nick Nairn an alcohol license. The licensing board were probably afraid that people would sign up for courses (costing upwards of £40), learn what wines go with what foods, have a glass of red or white, and then go wilding into the night, committing crimes.

Thankfully, it seems no one from the cooking school to date has gone on a crime spree, and clearly the city has the city’s serious drink culture under complete control.

Spring has arrived! Result! The signs are everywhere: the theft of cars and licence plates continues, the gramps are being set alight once more and travellers are moving from public space to public space, leaving debris behind them, presumably as a token of the esteem they hold us in. The council say the police should act; the police seem to be implementing a reverse discrimination favouring the travellers.

And I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but you and I will be paying for the necessary clean-ups. A dead dog and £22,000 worth of waste was left near the beach by the travellers, and history looks set to repeat itself just a little further north.

If you want to live as you please, it would be nice to do so respecting the rights of the rest of us to live as we please – well in some idealised fantasy version of reality anyway. While some of us are trying to preserve and enjoy what’s left of our open spaces, other people seem to think we don’t care about mounds of trash or the very real prospect of stepping in human waste or over dead dogs. Thanks.

The UK’s police were trying to deny there is a quota system

To the people who’ll tell me not all travellers are alike, I agree. However, these past 10 years I’ve not seen a single travellers’ site in Aberdeen left in good condition when travellers travel.

And down the road in Ross-shire, it’s now 20 birds of prey that have been poisoned. So that’s good news for the shooting estates catering to people who like to blast birds from the sky with guns. Fledgling game birds are bred in captivity like ill-used hens, and thrown out without a clue, to be blasted. The sporting life indeed; no wonder billionaires and famous TV stars like Trump are into this kind of pursuit.

So how do our police perform when it comes to saving our wildlife, stopping car thefts and stopping people trashing our green spaces (when they know exactly who’s doing it)?

Aberdeen got a mention in the Sunday papers; its police seem to like arresting children, and are very fond of random spot searches. A child of two was apparently charged with property damage. I’m sure they understood their rights and I’m sure the parents were the police’s first port of call. Police Scotland are also fond of telling people who own cars and houses to hide their goods or it’s their fault if they’re robbed.

The UK’s police were trying to deny there is a quota system in place for arrest and searches. Unfortunately, the truth leaked out, and there are indeed quota systems.

Justice may be blind, but she’s counting. It’s nearly one year since the police blew the budget (or so it looked) raiding the empty flat of George Copeland. Things may have been quiet on this story in the news, but I can promise you, the fight for a rational explanation and disclosure of information are ongoing. Who knows – there may eventually be some justice for George. Watch this space.

Other than that, I’ve had some fun (Malmaison, Temple Aesthetics, BrewDog of course and the Tunnels – Palma Violets were spectacular). But this week David Innes, drummer with the Gerry Jablonski band, passed away. A service is being held the morning of Friday 18 April, and later that night a concert takes place at The Forum.

We were privileged. I’ll remember the last times I saw him, including the Moorings in early March, the Jubilee party in Union Terrace Gardens where they entertained thousands, and the Lemon Tree when the latest Gerry Jablonski & the Electric Band album was launched.

There are performers 20 years younger who don’t have his enthusiasm, energy and stamina. There are performers 20 years older than he was who would have loved to have his talent and range. If Aberdeen is a city of culture (outside of bureaucrat speak), it is because of artists like David Innes. Condolences to his friends and family.

Life Expectancy Letters: (Mod. Eng. ConDem phrase) – letters to be sent to OAPs, telling them when they will likely pass away.

Well there is a new government initiative we can all be happy with; they are going to send everyone a letter, telling them when to expect to die. I can’t see any flaws in this cunning plan.

Then again, with Alzheimer’s setting in early in some cases, and looking set to be an epidemic in the near future, I’m sure all the guardians and children of those afflicted with forms of senile dementia will be very happy to get letters to advise when mother and father are expected to die.

I’m certain too that this is not some ploy to scare the elderly into saving well into later life. After all, you want to live in comfort with as few trips to the food bank as you can manage until you die at precisely 9 September in 2027, don’t you? Letting you know when you’re likely to die will just make you take better care of your health, and your money.

And of course should you fall sick or need residential care, then the government will take your savings off of you to pay for such care.

Of course most of us who work have been paying tax throughout our working life in the belief this would go to giving us good care when we’re older. Just don’t bank on it. I’m glad there’s no chance of another pension mis-selling scheme like we saw a few decades ago. No-one would take advantage of the elderly and sell them financial products they didn’t need, would they?

“Pensions minister Steve Webb said that under new government guidance, experts could assess approximate life expectancy by looking at factors such as smoking, eating habits and socio-economic background.”

As far as socio-economic background is concerned, I wonder if those living on the food banks will have the same life expectancy as those at the merchant banks

I’m sure this scheme to write to everyone with an expected death date is not geared to frighten us into getting into private pension schemes. That would only benefit bankers and financial institutions, and our government wouldn’t show the financial sector any special treatment, would it?

I talked to an older citizens who was still of working age recently; they had decided to skive off work for a few months, and used a slipped disc as their flimsy excuse to get on the dole. I’m happy to say we made it as hard for this scrounger as we could; it was 6 weeks before they got any financial help, despite having worked all their life. Dipping into their savings to pay bills, they eventually bled the taxpayer for £78 per week.

Now if they knew what their death date was, they might have been convinced to save a bit harder, work more hours, and have more savings to burn through at the first sign of illness. This guy was not good at financial planning, either. All of his money was earned and taxed in the UK, and he didn’t shelter any of it offshore. Well, if you don’t save as much as you can, it’s simple. Just don’t fall ill or die.

Old Susannah is interested to see what factors are taken into consideration. I’m sure the ConDems won’t want to upset anyone by letting on that the air is now killing more people than ever before.

Perhaps this is such a good idea we should take it further, and make dying by the projected death date mandatory? I’d be surprised if some ConDem somewhere isn’t contemplating it.

Dune Management: (Modern Eng. compound noun) To preserve a natural area by changing it beyond recognition.

It would seem the Donald Trump school of sand dune management’s principles are taking off a treat.

A Cornwall-based council decided that they would ‘stabilise’ their own sandy beach by planting conifers on the beach. Somehow, this has displeased residents and visitors, who wanted to see beach at the beach, and not dying, dried out half dead trees that were never going to grow in the first place.

Of course the marram grass, gorse and trees Trump has planted has totally stabilised ‘The Great Dunes of Scotland’ as Trump Golf seems to call Balmedie Beach.

The dunes are so great I think travelling spice and silk merchants will be crossing them by camel to stay at the opulent MacLeod House.

Anyway, Trump saved our dunes for us, and that’s why there is no sand blowing around the greens or any other problems there.

My photo above shows just how stable the course is.

Next week: A Trump update and more definitions

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