Cartoonist Ben Harley finds inspiration in the form of Donald Trump and events of the past week.
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Feb 212014
Feb 142014
By Bob Smith.
| Trump’s nae deein the Hielan Fling He’s noo tryin River Dance Intae his Menie Developmint Anither dollar he’ll nae advance . He’s gyaan ti the Emerald Isle Doon the wye o Coonty Clare A feel sorry fer the Irish fowk His arrogance they’ll hae ti bear . His mither bein’ Scottish born The chiel wis aywis blawin Wull we noo hear fae him His faither wis a leprechaun . Scotland wull be the losers The bugger dis rant an roar Donald jist gie’t a rest Yer mair than jist a bore |
Bi throwin the toys oot the pram He’s shown his petulant streak Aa because he lost his case In front o a Scottish “beak” . At Menie wull he pack it in An leave here wi gweed grace? Somehoo a dinna think so Cos the mannie wid lose face . Donald o the Menie Estate Fa’s stock his teen a dip Noo he micht be kent as Donald o the petted lip. . . . . ©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014 |
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Jan 012014
Dec 242013
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Deen
Nae een were stirrin, ye ken fit Ah mean?
ACSEF members were nestled all smug in their beds
Visions of brown envelopes danced in their heids
Lady Helen in her kerchief, and Sir Ian in his cap
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap
When out on their lawn there arose such a clatter
Ian sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to his window, he flew like a flash
Hoping no one would try robbing his cash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of granite to objects below
When what to Sir Ian’s beady eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer:
“There’s no right of access to land near my home
“I’ve got lots of money so you’ve no right to roam!”
Twas a little old man with a red suit and beard
“Could this be a communist?” Ian Wood feared.
Santa approached, getting out of his sled
Turning to Ian, this is what he said:-
“Perhaps greed and age have made you grow thick
“For as any fool knows I am St Nick.
“I’ve come to the Deen to reward the good
“On second thoughts I could skip you, Ian Wood.”
“The thing is, with the greedy things that you do
“I just don’t think that I can believe in you.”
At this Ian faltered – he so wanted presents:
“Hold on now Santa, I’m not one of the peasants.
“Let’s talk for a moment so I can explain
“How you can maximise your capital gain.”
“Pay your elves’ wages from an offshore tax haven
“Hoots Santa – think of the dosh you’d be savin’.
“Perhaps you should start a ‘Claus Family Trust,
“And there’s ‘Venture Philanthropy’ – yes, that’s a must.”
“No taxes to pay and you’ll save lots of money
“Stop giving away gifts for free – it’s not funny,”
“Just because poor people put up a tree
“Doesn’t mean you should give gifties for free.”
Santa sighed, saying “Thank you indeed Ian Wood
“I think though that you just might be up to no good.
“If you paid your taxes, if you weren’t so greedy
“I dare say that others might not be so needy.”
“I’ll bid you good night; I’ll say no more.”
“But do say hello to your close friend, Mrs Craw.”
Donner, the lead deer, was slightly perplexed
“Well Santa, which house will we fly to next?”
“Let’s go to the Milne house since we are quite near.”
And off flew St Nick, the elves and the deer.
“Santa, this heated driveway is quite nice,
“It’s totally clear of all snow and all ice.”
Stewart Milne’s ‘eco’ house had some curious features
This driveway was welcome to Santa’s cold creatures.
“Just one gift for Stew, here, do have a wee look”
St Nick was clutching a nice brand new book
“What is it called?” asked a curious elf
“Football for beginners” – Santa laughed to himself.
“I don’t know that Stewart kens much o the game
“He cares more for money, still all the same
“In the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of Yule
“This book may help him ken the offside rule.”
Away the deer flew with the sled full of gifts
“Hey,” Comet said, “D’ye ken Milne wears lifts?”
All the deer laughed until it was clear
That towards Aileen Malone’s house they were drawing near.
“Don’t be afraid of that witch” Santa said
“Who as we know had your comrades shot dead
“Deer, if anyone needed the loo,
“We’re over Malone’s house. Yes I think this will do.”
Over Malone’s roof they arrived in a twinkling,
And soon every reindeer and elf started tinkling.
“There are those politicians who will tell you, by heck
“that really it’s raining as they pee down your neck.”
“So do your business – relieve yourselves here.
“In memory of 36 Tullos Hill deer.”
The deer did their business and some of them tittered
“With only 5 LibDems she must be embittered.
“At the election her side got quite trounced.
“Change course for the Bates’!” St Nick announced.”
And soon Santa stood on the Malone-Bates roof
“No wonder that these newlyweds were so aloof
“No news in the press of their marriage was blurted
“To ensure their financial interests weren’t hurted.”
Perfect gifts for these lovebirds Santa had found;
Down their chimney Santa jumped with a bound.
But just as our Santa started to speak
He was scared by a monster which started to shriek.
Santa stared at the thing which wore a night gown
Could this be some kind of a beast or a clown?
Its hair was in rollers, its eyes were cucumbers
Its face was green mud: “You interrupted my slumbers!”
“You’ve got ash on my carpet! Turn around and get out!”
The hideous thing did shriek and did shout.
Santa twigged who it was, she normally looked fairer
It was ‘The Face of the Deen’, the lovely bride Sarah:
“In order for my great beauty to keep
“I need many hours of deep beauty sleep.”
“Oh Sorry,” said Santa, “my fair beauty queen
“I ken now why you are the Face of the Deen.”
“From me you will not hear any further peep
“Clearly you’re behind on your beauty sleep
“I’ve just some small gifts for you two then I’ll go
“Back to my sleigh outside in the snow.”
“I’m amazed at the way you two work close together
“Let’s hope that there won’t be any stormy weather
“Like when the course fell into the North Sea last year
“And the cold’s perhaps wrinkled your sweet face my dear.”
Sarah said, “I’ve got an old man and he gives me presents,
“My beautiful face put me above other peasants
“He pays me to run the world’s greatest course”
(Mrs Bates showed not even a sign of remorse).
“Well then Sarah, I’ve two little gifties for you
“A gallon of wrinkle cream, och aye the noo,
“And a book you should read , it’s called ‘Golf can be fun”
(For she hadn’t a clue when all said and done).
“No need to thank me, I’m just here to serve
“And I do think you have got the gifts you deserve.”
As the sleigh left, its bells made a sweet tinkle
Sarah ran to the mirror to check on her wrinkle.
“All these liars and cheats, they do make me cross
“But let’s pay a visit to Sarah Bates’ boss”
The elves were astounded- “Santa don’t be a chump”
Santa answered “I do have one giftie for Trump.”
Donald was home, counting his money
And planning a trip to somewhere quite sunny:
“Where can I go next to get a good thrill
“With lions and tigers and bears I can kill?”
The Donald thought people loved him – the great hunter
But everyone thought: ‘what a horrible c*nt’ – (Er,
sorry ‘bout the language but thinking of him
Makes my blood pressure rise and me head start to spin).
The Don said “I built this course for my auld Scottish Nanny”
St Nick replied “Now just you listen here, mannie
“I’ve got a list of who’s nice and who’s naughty
“Or arrogant, scheming deceptive and haughty.
“No gift for you – no ifs, ands or buts
“But please take a voucher –it’s for ‘Supercuts’.”
Izon Security arrived on the spot
They’d been spying on locals – they do that a lot:
“Get out of that sleigh and let’s see your ID!”
Santa replied: “Are you talking to me?”
“Get stuffed you great b*stards” Santa said with a hiss
“Has the right to roam been reduced to this?
“You’ve no right to spy or to hassle good folk
“And this golf course is really one heck of a joke.”
With a jingle of bells St Nick and his team
Flew over the Great Dunes of North Aberdeen
“Come on deer and elves, there are good folk in need
“The ones who are victims of all this crass greed.
“The ones who are teachers and nurses and such
“They get paid very little yet do very much
“The children who don’t have enough food to eat
“Aberdeen may be rich, but some live on the street.”
“There are people who help the sick and the poor
“Some help animals too, and of this I am sure
“Those who help others with no thought of themselves
“They are the real saints, the real Santas and elves.”
Santa and his team spent the rest of their night
Giving out presents to good folks’ delight.
Ask yourselves this “Am I naughty or nice?”
If you’re a bad one, take some advice.
Flaunting your wealth, and harming others
Ruins the chance that we have to be brothers
If you can help, then you should get stuck in
Greed, don’t you know is a terrible sin.
It’s never too late to fight the good fight
Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!
– Suzanne Kelly
– . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . –
Picture – Christmas Tree Baubles
Credit: Ian Britton. Freefoto.com
http://www.freefoto.com/download/90-04-66/Christmas-Tree-Baubles
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Oct 212013
By Bob Smith.
| A wis spikkin tae a gowfer T’wis jist the ither day Fa wis tellin me a story Aboot Americans here tae play . He wis playin ower at Murcar An met some Yankee billies Fa’s opeenion o The Donald Wid gie Dod Sorial the willies . The chiels hid played Royal Dornoch An ither courses aat war gweed Afore tryin oot Murcar’s challenge Far ye hiv tae use the heid . Fin ask’t aboot playin Trumpie’s They fair did hoot an holler Sayin they hid nae intenshuns O gien The Donald a dollar . Their opeenion o the Trumpie Wid mak Donald tak the hump The haill lot they did cry “Stuff yer Donald Trump” |
Noo a’ve heard the same opeenion Fae Yanks playin “the hame o gowf” Maist widna be spennin ony siller At the Menie course an howff . It wid appear aat The Donald Is nae weel thocht o at aa Fowk in the lan o his birth Nae langer heed his blaw . Noo in the rest o Bonnie Scotland Seems the mannie’s thocht a joke Only in the rich Nor-east corner At Donald– fun ye canna poke . The mannie’s “tilt at windmills” Fin he roars an teers his hair If they warna near his gowf course Div ye think the bugger wid care? . Awa wi yer “Love o Scatland” min Some think yer jist a bam We’ll aye drink a toast tae justice O coorse wi a Glenfiddich dram |
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
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Oct 112013
By Bob Smith.
| The Marcliffe t’is closin doon It’s gyaan tae be nae mair Some fowk wull be sorry Ithers jist winna care . Mr Spence he is tae retire Say’s he’s gyaan oot wi a bang Wi lots o things tae celebrate Wull Trump compose a sang? . The mannie his bin aroon The hotel gemme fer a fyle An naebody can argie aat The Marcliffe his some style . A’ve bin ‘ere at some waddins Wis leuk’t efter wi great care Bit the price o a roon o drinks Wid gie the Rockefellers a scare . Yet a canna help thinkin Fit wye’s it closin doon Cwid it nae be cairry’t on Bi Ross, a Spencie loon? . The toon needs gweed hotels O ess we’re aye bein telt So fit wye is ess een closin? Fit wye cwid it nae be selt? |
Priced ersels oot the mairkit? Even in ile rich Aiberdeen We’ll nivver ken the answer Meybe times they are mair lean . Wis the askin price ower muckle? Did ess scare hoteliers aff? Or his the roomies nae bin full Fer tae justify aa the staff? . Is Mr Spence jist affa shrewd? An he’s oot tae mak a killin? Kennin fine aat property developers Tae pey his price they wull be willin . Fin the Marcliffe it closes Mr Spence he wull be free Tae wanner ower tae Menie An meet Donald on the tee . He micht be a Trump supporter Bit in retiremint a wish ‘im weel Ae thing he his fair proved, As a hotelier, he’s nae feel . . . . ©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013 |
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Sep 302013
Another day at the Menie Estate, another breach of the approved planning permission occurs, and another retrospective planning application appears: it certainly seems like business as usual. However, this latest application is a step too far for residents.
Suzanne Kelly provides background, and tells you how to object to the application and thereby help the residents of Leyton Cottage get their sunlight back.
View from Munro kitchen of bund with vegetation preventing access where it previously existed, blocking light and view. July 2013_
Trump came, saw and continues to conquer both nature and our planning laws. What was meant to be temporary ‘stockpiling of earth’ has turned into a nightmare for Susan Munro and her family at Leyton Cottage.
Currently, there is an application and an accompanying report (written by environmental consultants working for Trump, Ironside Farrar) which would see giant bunds made permanent between Leyton Cottage and the rest of the estate to the detriment of those who live there.
Susan Munro has this to say about the bunds:-
“The bunds caused drainage problems with water unable to get away due to the car park [formerly a green space, now tarmac] and washed our road away for weeks – we were unable to get home. The large bund is blocking light from the house and also our views.”
Dirt blows into the house, into car engines; dirt and sand have killed many garden plants. The law as it stands doesn’t care about the views – but surely it must care about blocking light and property damage?
Anyone opposed to this proposal to keep and enlarge the bunds is advised to lodge their objections to Aberdeenshire Council’s Planning offices before 6 October.
Objecting is straightforward and can go a long way to helping one of the many long-suffering families. Again, people are literally living in Trump’s shadow, and this giant wall of earth serves to immure a cottage and its residents.
The application can be found here: http://www.aberdeenshire.gov.uk/planning/apps/detail.asp?ref_no=APP/2013/2469
Here is where to lodge your objection: – http://www.aberdeenshire.gov.uk/planning/apps/comment.asp?ref_no=APP/2013/2469§or=F
-and here is why you may wish to do so.
In an audacious, unannounced, callous move which was captured by Anthony Baxter in documentary You’ve Been Trumped, a huge mound of sand and earth was bulldozed into place between Leyton Cottage and its view of the land and sea back in 2010. No warning was given. At one point the assurance was given that these bunds were just part of construction and were temporary.
In fact Sarah Malone Trump VP, wife of supportive local newspaper editor Damian Bates said at the time:-
“With regard to the stockpiling of soil … this is a necessary part of the golf course construction process, for which we have full planning permission… No-one is being intimidated – we are merely getting on with the business of building. The landowners in the vicinity know that they are now living in the middle of a very large construction site and work will only increase over the coming years.” http://www.scotsman.com/news/donald-trump-s-star-greenkeeper-sacked-over-wall-of-earth-1-833456
Perhaps Ms Malone should attend the hearing and explain the construction process and the engineering requirement for the bunds.
This ‘stockpiling of soil’ ruined car engines at the Munro property, killed many of their garden plants, damaged their home – all from soil and sand blowing from the mound into their property from the bund.
They have not been able to view the sea from their home since.
A wooden bench on their land sits empty; it is on a hillside, and they used to sit up there and look out to sea. Now they look out on a mound of earth covered with dying pines on top of it.
Perhaps Ms Malone – a woman who admits she has zero experience of building golf courses or housing complexes – believes this mound was business as usual, and was an approved, temporary measure. It’s still there, landscaped on the side viewed by the golf club visitors, covered with weeds and dying trees on the Munro side.
While there is some grass slightly lessening the effect of the blowing earth and sand, this constant stream of windblown dirt can be seen on a sign outside the cottage.
Ironside Farrar have not answered any emails from Aberdeen Voice, nor has its professional body, the Royal Institute of Town Planners. The RITP’s website boasts of the professional calibre of its members. Despite Ironside Farrar writing in its report to the Council the bunds have been lowered, the largest one is still there, unaltered, and the bunds do not appear to have been part of the approved original plan.
There has been some lowering of a short, tiny bund between the parking lot and the Munro house.
Trump said he didn’t want to see the houses – so he basically walled the people in, or so it seems. Now he’s fighting to keep the bunds, submitting the Ironside report with his application concerning parking. If this nodded through, it will be a dark day for more than just the Munro family; it will mean seeking retrospective planning permission is an acceptable way to build.
I have been dealing with Susan Munro for some years now, I have seen the bunds and the damage they have done, the bunds have been a topic of conversation at every meeting we’ve had: the family want the bunds gone.
Photos of Susan by her kitchen window looking out at the bund where sun and sea used to be seen, are both iconic and symbolic of how Trump treats his neighbours – with contempt. Can you imagine looking out of your home one day at sea, sky, wildlife and sunlight – and the next day looking at nothing but a mound of earth?
This bund must not be allowed to stay. There is some possibility that this action breaches her human rights – it certainly looks to any feeling person like a gross act of bullying and intimidation.
The Report
The report by Ironside Farrar is at best illogical; at worst it seems to be misleading. The report can be found here: http://www.ukplanning.com/aberdeenshire/doc/Other-9855674.pdf extension=.pdf&id=9855674&location=VOLUME7&contentType=application%2Fpdf&pageCount=5
While Ironside Farrar start off their report by acknowledging the conditions which were put on Trump for his non-spec parking lot, they have decided that the best thing to do is to ignore this rather clear directive, decide that they know what it really means, and then things get even less logical from there. They start off:-
Of course, no reinvention or reinterpretation of the condition was required. They did so anyway with their design proposal:-
When it comes to audacity, the report has no equal:
“This will in turn protect the residential amenity of the owner/occupier of the property.” is their astonishing and easily disproved claim.
In an ideal world, planners, councillors and objectors would complain about this unsupported and illogical conclusion appearing in the report. In summary, rather than sticking to the instruction to take the bund down, the environmental consultants working for Trump decided a bund is somehow needed, and they have the nerve to suggest it is Susan Munro’s amenity they are being considerate of.
The consultants talk of using native species on the bunds which they propose to be made even larger. Clearly their concern for Susan Munro doesn’t extend to the drop in her property value these bunds so blatantly would mean. They seem to be aware that the existing bunds are very steep (not great for tree root systems) and mostly composed of sand (perhaps why the doomed pine trees keep dying).
These trees by the way are perpetually planted in the sandy bund, watered by clumsy, unattractive plastic pipe systems, and inevitably die and get replaced.
It is wasteful and disrespectful to the environment that these trees are used in such a manner, but surely the report writers can’t stretch the truth so far as to say removing the trees constitutes reducing the bunds in height, can they?
Not that there is any sign of the trees actually coming down, until they finally turn brown and are dragged away to one of the rubbish tips on the estate. The report closes with drawings showing massively high bunds, mature trees – but with no trace of the cottage on the plan; this is quite an oversight.
If you didn’t know precisely where the cottage was, these drawings are of little use.
They do however give you an idea of a massive wall of earth, a Great Wall of Menie, which will cut the Munros off from light even more so than the present bunds do, leaving the cottage in a claustrophobic cell: and these environmentalists, Ironside Farrar, have the gall to say it is for the Munro’s benefit.
It is hard to think that the planning authorities can possibly grant permission for the bunds to stay, or that any councillor, sworn to uphold the rights and needs of their constituents, would allow a neighbour to build a great wall of earth on a property boundary.
What they decide to do will speak volumes, and it will be widely reported. Again, objections are due before 6 October; your help is needed.
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Sep 272013
Lies, Damned Lies, and The Trump Effect (or 74% of people don’t remotely trust the Evening Express).
Credibility is stretched to new extremes by claims made by the Chamber of Commerce and the Marcliffe’s Stewart Spence concerning ‘the Trump effect’. Numbers, surveys and statistics are used in attempts to demonstrate how positive an impact Trump is having on Aberdeenshire tourism. Suzanne Kelly peeks behind the curtain at the little man pulling the strings, using a satirical survey to demonstrate just how easily statistics can be massaged.
Trump International Golf Links Scotland hasn’t exactly been booked solidly, if its own online booking tool is anything to judge by.
But an assortment of people and institutions which were leading the call for the course to be built are hard at work, convincing us that we’re all better off with money flowing in.
There may be some money coming into town indeed, but here are a few thoughts before we swallow the bait whole.
Ninety-three percent increase in room sales to golfers at the Marcliffe! Such a precise claim, it has to be accurate doesn’t it?
Many people who’ve heard this statistic are accepting it as proof of Trump having a positive economic impact.
The Chamber of Commerce published an article, “Golf Halo effect benefitting Aberdeen City and Shire hotels by up to 93%” (http://www.agcc.co.uk/news-main/item/21109-golf-halo-effect-benefiting-aberdeen-city-and-shire-hotels-by-up-to-93/).
There is that magic number 93 again. It’s a high number, it’s echoed by Spence, the Chamber of Commerce, and in a few press releases that have been turned into press articles by some of our printed press. This is, in propaganda terms, positive reinforcement; a claim is made, it is repeated, it is not explained in depth by those who want you to believe it.
It starts to sink in.
We have the precise-sounding number ‘93’; we have had that figure reinforced in different media. You would be forgiven for drinking from the trough you’ve been led to and take it for granted that it is true and not to be questioned.
But numbers can be made to do almost anything you want them to do. Is the glass half empty or half full? The answer depends on the spin you put on it.
A satirical survey was carried out for one week concerning the Evening Express; over 50 people replied to it. In truth, 52 people replied to it – but if you say ‘over 50’ people – then the reader can imagine higher numbers.
Taking that logic forward, let’s consider again the Chamber’s claim that the ‘golf halo’ is benefitting hotels ‘by up to 93%.’ This statistic is nearly meaningless.
How many hotels were in the survey? How many benefitted by 93%? How many benefitted considerably less than that? How many tourists were counted and how was it done? What was the mean (the figure arrived at by adding all the results together and dividing by the number of hotels)? Was the mean significantly less than 93%?
Without further details such as the length of time the assessment covers, what other events were on which could have increased tourist numbers, how was the measurement made, this ‘up to 93%’ means next to nothing.
Furthermore, from most reports it is apparently the Marcliffe’s Stewart Spence claiming this 93% increase for his hotel.
The Marcliffe is a nice spot. Do hundreds of people stay there? No.
In fact there are 7 suites and 35 rooms.
Therefore this 93% increase is not likely to mean any huge number. For one thing, Donald Trump is known to have stayed at the Marcliffe; no doubt some of his large entourage stays with him. Let’s just say Trump gets one suite when he has stayed: Doing the maths, this is a 14.28% increase in suites used for visitors to the Trump course.
Depending on who’s doing the statistical analysis, you could also call this a 100% increase in Trump-related visitors from the time before the course.
The Chamber’s report also reads:-
“These figure relate to the golf ‘season’ from May to date and Mr Spence considers that by the end of September, this figures will have increased further to the point where rooms booked by golfers are three times as high as bookings in 2012.”
Coming in at something less than 93% increase – a 5% increase is reported by Jury’s. This is buried in the Chamber’s article, and Jury’s less boastful claims also credit a discount offered as well as theatre and other events than golf being a factor. But again, is the Marcliffe really imposing a survey on all of its well-heeled guests?
Is it guessing who’s playing and who might be playing? Without knowing the methodology used and the numbers involved, Mr Spence’s guess is just that. Furthermore, he’s hardly likely to do anything but insist the numbers are up; it might just be in his interest for us to think all is rosy – and for Mr Trump to hear him making such positive noises.
There also seems to be a faint hint of arrogance at suggestions that Trump is now why people are coming to our area to golf. There are after all more courses than this new one.
What questions you ask and whether or not they are slanted can generate virtually any statistic you want to generate.
Getting back to the spoof Evening Express survey, here are the results:-
Question: Do you Trust the Evening Express?
|
Answer Choices |
Responses |
| Yes when it comes to cute baby competitions | 14.29% (7) |
| No | 20.41% (10) |
| Not Even Remotely | 73.47% (36) |
| Total Number of Respondents | 49 |
Question: What do you think can be done to improve the Evening Express?
|
Answer Choices |
Responses |
| Sack the Editor | 48% (24) |
| Protect the jobs of the workers who it seems face more job cuts | 32% (16) |
| Allow reporters to investigate stories and write their conclusions up freely | 68% (34) |
| Stop taking items that are 3 days old and recycling them | 46% (23) |
| Exorcism | 28% (14) |
| Total Number of Respondents | 50 |
Question: What do you think of first when you think of the Evening Express?
|
Answer Choices |
Responses |
| Sarah Malone Bates, VP at Trump Golf, Winner of the EE Face of Aberdeen Contest, and her subsequent marriage to Damian Bates, Aberdeen Journals Editor in Chief, and the wee potential for a conflict of interest this creates | 70% (35) |
| The balanced, reasoned, multifaceted approach to local issues | 6% (3) |
| The lovely pictures of the granite web, printed at the drop of a hat | 28.00 (14) |
| The time their headline read ‘two deer found dead ahead of cull’ and the deer actually died a year before of unknown causes? |
18% (9) |
| Total Number of Respondents | 50 |
Question: What would you most like to say to the EE Editorship?
- Print facts without bias
- More people read Aberdeen Voice………
- propaganda isn’t journalism.
- Just give up.
- Print a newspaper, not a comic
- You traitors!
- What will you do when there is no more oil? You’ve sh*t upon the people of Aberdeen for many years (on behalf of your advertisers), so there will be no-one to cry when your advertising revenue dries up and your paper goes bust.
- Not printable, I’m afraid.
- Have you considered journalism as a possible change of career ?
- Well done for speaking up for the silent majority in Aberdeen, those who shout loudest usually get what they want, that’s why our City is such a mess.
- Print the truth
- Why and when did he decide that Joseph Goebbel’s style of propaganda was appropriate for a local newspaper?
- Get out of the pocket of big business.
- The only content from local areas is of vandalism or babies. If there is any cultural events happening that the EE haven’t sponsored – they will not find its way into the paper. Certainly have no decent article written about them.
- You’re a crook and an obsequious lickspittle of corrupt and greedy businessmen
- Unprintable
- Well, hello, I suppose as I didn’t realise it had an editor. Thought some PR company just collated their press releases. I would also like it to campaign for chips to be wrapped in newspaper once again – then it would have a purpose
- Take a reality check
- Can the editorship read?
- Balanced! Not a lot of crap typed by keyboard warriors!
- I used to think this paper was the only one worth buying, until it printed a story about me that was utter sh*te.
- Stop printing sh*te!
- Your fired
- we want proper unbiased news not some fatcats pipedream
- so long and thanks for all the fish
- How do you manage to sleep at night.
- Get a grip.
- Goodbyeee!
- Stop promoting Donald Trump, Sir Ian Wood and Stewart Milne.
- Unprintable.
- Get tae …
- Get a divorce, mate.
- Nothing …. because anything I say will be taken down, changed beyond recognition, put in quotes and used against me in a skewed context.
- What is the difference between the EE and a bucket of shite? The bucket.
- Being the “Millionaires Best Friend” and slanting the news accordingly, may be profitable, but as a newspaper, ???? shameful.
- Ta, ta!
- Get Ye behind me Satan!!!!
- Stop sucking up to “Big business”
Question: What would you like to see done to the EE headquarters?
|
Answer Choices |
Responses |
| Build a granite web over it | 20.41% (10) |
| Turn it into an outdoor theatre | 6.12% (3) |
| Give it to Aberdeen City Gardens Trust (an unelected private company) to manage | 16.33% (8) |
| Turn it into some kind of credible business | 53.06% (26) |
| Exorcism | 16.33% (8) |
| Total Number of Respondents | 49 |
It should be noted that the respondents were anonymous; I did not ask anyone to reply, and I did not reply to the questions myself. When setting up a survey, it is possible to target specific audiences. I was asked if I wanted to purchase an option to have specific kinds of people given my survey to answer; I declined.
When it comes to surveys you are being asked to put your trust in, you may want to determine who the respondents were and how they were chosen.
Aberdeen’s Evening Express seemed a likely candidate for this illustrative, satirical exercise for several reasons.
Firstly, they are more than happy to print the conclusions of the Pro-Trump lobby.
Secondly, there is a good, recently disclosed reason for that: Aberdeen Journals Editor in Chief is married to Trump’s Vice President, not that you learnt this from the paper itself.
Thirdly, on occasion their coverage of issues could be what you might call slightly bias.
Fourth, the paper is running its own survey as to ‘mending our broken heart’. This survey starts from the premise we are broken-hearted over not having built a granite web over our only city centre green public space. Their campaign in favour of building the web was nothing short of ferocious.
Now they want us to believe they are interested in mending the huge divisions the issue caused, and that they merely want to get our opinions. Not everyone would agree their survey comes from a place of neutrality with a goal of peace-making. They therefore seemed a good candidate to illustrate how surveys can be slanted.
The EE survey questions all had set answers (except the last one). Those who live in Aberdeen City will recall being given similar ‘straightjacket’ answer choices when it came to choosing a shortlist for potential designs for Union Terrace Gardens.
The choice to leave the gardens as they are and just improve them was not given to us, forcing us to choose one of 6 (mostly abhorrent) designs.
What the public did actually vote on and comment on in this exercise remains a mystery. Despite the public purse paying (at least in part) for the exercise, an unelected Limited company consisting of 4 people refuse to let us have the results. Perhaps the Hotel Association will want to come forward with the raw data they have collected regarding Trump .
The Evening Express survey was leading – were leading questions asked of hotel guests?
Using the logic employed by the Chamber, I could write an article now saying ‘Up to 98% of Aberdonians think the Evening Express is Dreadful’.
One thing my survey did was to ask for comments. No two are alike. Not only do they all say different things while conveying the same general message, none of them were from the same IP address. Bear that in mind, and go back to the public consultation as to whether or not to allow the Trump complex to overrule the SSSI protections.
Of course both sides had recommended their followers to either support or object. However, a startling number of supporters came in via email – and dozens and dozens of these are wholly identical.
Identical not only in terms of the wording being verbatim, but the fonts and even the line breaks. Of course these were all counted as individuals weighing in. While many organisations will use form letters, usually this is pointed out when responses are counted – this does not necessarily seem to have taken place with the Trump application.
do not accept any conclusions until you know how big the sample was
It is one thing to say thousands of people support a course of action – but it is quite another thing to say that thousands of people sent in precisely the same replies supporting a course of action. (Does government look at things like IP addresses? It might be worth doing so in future).
Let’s assume that massive hordes of golfers are now coming here because of the Trump course. You would therefore expect the course to be running at capacity. From eyewitness accounts of people living nearby, this is not the case. Even the online booking system used by the Trump organisation shows there are often many un-used tee times almost every day.
The next time someone tells you there is ‘up to 93%’ of an increase in something, or the next time you read a statistic somewhere, do not accept any conclusions until you know how big the sample was. Do they mean 93% of ten thousand people? Or are they talking about 93% of 7 suite and 35 bedroom guests?
If someone tells you there is an increase in an activity, find out what the time period is, what other factors could have influenced the increase (were people flocking to an area, say for an event like Offshore Europe?). Ask whether the person or group giving you the statistics have a vested interest in the matter at hand: does Mr Spence want to encourage Trump and co. to continue to visit his hotel?
Do VisitScotland want to validate their ongoing claims as to the benefits of the Trump course? Does the Evening Express have any reason to want to regurgitate pro-Trump statistics? Unfortunately numbers, as well as people, can be deceptive. Without having more information such as who the respondents were, the raw data and background, statistics are meaningless.
Put another way – at least up to 93% of survey data and statistics are unreliable.
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Sep 192013
By Suzanne Kelly.
As per previous articles, Menie Resident David Milne appeared before the Scottish Government’s Public Petitions Committee to request a public inquiry into the past and present situation at the Menie Estate.
Over 19,400 people supported this call.
The Scottish Government, Scottish Enterprise, Police Scotland, Aberdeenshire Council were going to have to answer some tough questions.
Each was asked by the Petitions Committee if they wanted an investigation. Each said no. ‘Good Enough’ was in effect the Committee’s response; it sent Milne packing.
Before rubberstamping this blatant self-regulation by the organisations already in the firing line for their actions, the Committee allowed Milne to make a final statement.
Part of it can be found here:
http://www.scottish.parliament.uk/S4_PublicPetitionsCommittee 31.08.13.pdf
But only part. The Petitions Committee decided that the sections crossed out (redacted) were potentially defamatory and/or possibly not from genuine sources. David Milne was urged to retract these crucial passages. He did not, and the result is that they were blacked out.
And what was so potentially scandalously defamatory? Precisely what did the Committee call into question as to its authenticity?
Information which has been in the public domain for years: one a quote from Donald Trump, and the other a letter from Jack Perry (once Scottish Enterprise head) to Trump published in Aberdeen Voice, and obtained directly from Scottish Enterprise under Freedom of Information legislation.
it remains fact that many meetings took place between Trump, Swinney, and Salmond
These two items were and remain very damning to central government and Scottish Enterprise.
They should have been addressed, not put aside, and the public have every right to see information already in the public domain, to remind them of just how badly the public inquiry is needed.
It is unclear how any claim of potential defamation exists in the Trump quote. No one is named; the government is mentioned. Here is the quote, as originally covered in national newspapers:-
“In an interview with Scotland on Sunday, the 66-year- old tycoon claims: “I give the Executive (Scottish Government] a lot of credit. They called me and really wanted me to continue going forward. I said are you kidding? I just lost. I don’t like to lose. They said no, you’ll win. They didn’t want me to leave.”
“Four days after the rejection, the Scottish Government “called in” the application on the grounds the decision put the integrity of the planning process in jeopardy. It then went to a public inquiry before being approved by finance secretary John Swinney.
“The revelation has brought calls for a new inquiry into the chain of events that preceded that decision.
Labour MSP Duncan McNeil, who led a Holyrood local government committee inquiry into the affair two years ago, said: “This is an explosive admission from Donald Trump. In many ways he has let the cat out of the bag and raises serious questions. The Scottish Government cannot form an impartial view on a planning application that has been called in if they have given secret guarantees to one side. There is now a case for reviewing the evidence in light of this new information.”
– The Scotsman, October 16 2010
While the Government and Trump bickered back and forth about these comments, it remains fact that many meetings took place between Trump, Swinney, and Salmond (on one occasion at least with the taxpayer flying Jack Perry to New York) in advance of and during the planning application process.
Coming over all coy about this 2010 comment in 2013 is curious, and it would be interesting to know the source of this sudden queasiness.
The petitions committee would be more than welcome to issue me with an apology
In a move I find personally insulting (who knows? – I may take action at what I consider to be comments defamatory to me), the Petitions Committee redacted the Jack Perry letter.
They decreed that unless Jack Perry concurred the letter was from him, they would not allow its use. They admit they saw the letter, but were not sure if it was genuine.
For the avoidance of doubt, I received this letter by email in response to a Freedom of Information request I made to Scottish Enterprise. It was emailed to me from Scottish Enterprise. SE further advises that other correspondence may have been ‘lost’ when a member of staff left. There is for instance no correspondence post course construction, yet a glowing recommendation from Jack Perry appeared on the Trump website. I had to make several requests of SE to receive correspondence, and am surprised that an employee leaving would result in their work somehow being deleted or lost.
The petitions committee would be more than welcome to issue me with an apology for casting aspersions on whether or not a letter I produced was genuine. I will not hold my breath.
In the meantime, here again is the text of the letter:-
“You may or may not recall that I had the pleasure in October 2006 of joining you for lunch in the Trump Tower with the then First Minister, Mr Jack McConnell. At that time, you shared with us your vision for the development for the Menie Estate. We at Scottish Enterprise (S) certainly shared your excitement over this project. As the project developed we believed and still do that the economic benefits to Scotland of this project were substantial.
“Accordingly, we were profoundly dismayed by the decision made by the Aberdeenshire Council Infrastructure Committee to reject the planning application for this project. I recorded that disappointment in a personal letter to Ms Anne Robertson, Leader of Aberdeenshire Council. As you know, since then the Scottish Government has decided to ‘call in’ the application. Rightly and properly, Scottish Government Minister’s [sic] will not now comment on the application but I regard their action as encouraging. We concur with the Scottish Government’s contention that this is genuinely a project of national importance to Scotland.
“I have taken the liberty of discussing the matter with the Chairman of the Scottish Parliament’s Enterprise, Energy and Tourism Committee to make him aware of our support for the project and to offer any evidence to him and his committee should they require [sic].
“While this Committee has no role in the approval process of your application, it is possible they may consider the repercussions of Aberdeenshire Council’s decision on Scotland’s tourism industry. I have also now spoken about this matter to the Shadow Enterprise Ministers from the Labour and Liberal Democrat parties in the Scottish Parliament. I have tried to make it clear in these discussions that the impact of Aberdeenshire Council’s decision goes far beyond the immediate issue of the Trump development but has much wider implications for Scotland’s international image and reputation as a country which welcomes investment.
“I have been greatly encouraged by the unequivocal support from the Scottish business community which your project was [sic] attracted. I remain hopeful that Scottish Government Ministers will address this matter with speed. We shall continue to provide whatever evidence and support we can, should we be called to do so.
“For your information, I have also been greatly encouraged over the past few days by the support shown by the Aberdeen City and Shire Economic Forum [ACSEF] whose chairman, Mr Patrick Machray, has been very public and very vocal in support of the Trump development. Patrick is also the Chairman of Scottish Enterprise Grampian. As Scotland’s principal economic development agency, we at Scottish Enterprise wish to see your development proceed. We will continue to do what we can to help.
CC (redacted), Lorna Jack, Patrick Machray”
– Perry to Trump 7 December 2007, sent via email to S Kelly Wed, 29 May 2013 16:17
What do the Committee say about the redacted text? What do they say about ignoring Milne’s arguments? What do they say about dismissing the will of 19,400 people? What do they say about the most flawed methodology in the history of investigation?
Nothing. They sent the following:-
“Thank you for your email. I am responding in my capacity as Convener of the Public Petitions Committee. I appreciate that you and others feel strongly about the issues raised in the petition. However having considered the matter, the Committee members decided to close the petition for the reason given.
“In relation to procedure, the Scottish Parliament’s public petitions process provides that the Public Petitions Committee shall take such action as it considers appropriate in relation to any petition and that it may close a petition at any time. There is no appeal process against a decision of the Committee.”
– David Stewart MSP – email to me from Committee on Mon, 16 Sep 2013 16:12 (hopefully, they will not accuse me of fabricating this!)
Getting the government to open this huge can of worms and put its institutions under a microscope was a big ask. The committee might not be pursuing the answers, but others are.
David Milne told Aberdeen Voice:
“Now that I have finally finished laughing at the self incriminating actions of the public petitions committee I have to say I am saddened by their lack of interest in the facts of the matter. They have in effect proven my case better than I ever could have done, the way they so readily brushed aside facts that have been in the public domain for many years and have now given the appearance of trying to airbrush them out of existence, proves the need for an inquiry.
“They have shown that the governance of this country cannot be trusted and if they truly believe that the people of this country will quietly turn and walk away cowed and defeated, they are sadly mistaken”
Further investigation is taking place. Further Freedom of Information requests are in progress, and cases will be built for presentation to other regulatory institutions; there are other avenues to explore.
Mr Milne continues:
“Tomorrow is another day and a future for this country still beckons brightly, we will see it realised even with direct interference and obstruction from those who believe they are in power. The truth has a habit coming to the surface and it will do so, in due course.”
If anyone is dissatisfied with this decision and state of affairs, this would be an excellent time to contact your elected representatives.
This is not, as some might feel, a defeat and the end of the matter. Some might even say this is the government’s committee showing its real colours. And that is where things stand: for now.
Further information on the need for a public inquiry:-
https://aberdeenvoice.com/2013/08/trump-at-menie-the-case-for-a-public-inquiry/
https://aberdeenvoice.com/2013/08/menie-case-public-inquiry-part-2/
Scottish Parliament image – Credit: Freefoto.com
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Sep 132013
By Suzanne Kelly.
Menie Estate resident David Milne started a petition to ask for a public inquiry into the past, present and future events and issues arising from Donald Trump’s takeover of the Estate to build ‘the world’s greatest golf course.’
As per previous coverage of the problems faced by residents and visitors to the estate, there are many questions that have remained unanswered as events have unfolded. The Scottish Government called in and approved Trump’s plans – a move which was without precedent.
The actions of the police, local and central government, and Scottish Enterprise as well as the SNH since golf course construction began have included the arrests of two journalists on the charge of ‘breaching the peace’, as shown in Anthony Baxter’s award-winning documentary, You’ve Been Trumped.
Environmental monitoring which was to be robust, was patchy at best, and now seems non-existent. Residents have been stopped by Trump private security. Surely the SNP government, keen to show the benefits of an independent Scotland, would want to honour the request of 19,000 petition signatories, and shed light on its actions if they were above board?
The petitions committee members have decided otherwise.
The brief statement now on their website reads:-
“3 September 2013: The Committee agreed to close the petition, under Rule 15.7, on the basis that all of the organisations that responded state that they have made, and continue to make, details of their involvement with the Menie Development public, and that there is little to demonstrate that another inquiry is necessary or justified.”
http://www.scottish.parliament.uk/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01474
Astonishingly, the method used by the committee when asked to consider investigating these five institutions was to ask them if they thought an investigation was needed. The outcome was inevitable, once the decision was made to rely on the word of the organisations to be investigated.
The committee’s statement refers to ‘another inquiry’. Whilst there was a report on the planning process in 2008, a great deal has happened since then. The statement refers to ‘another inquiry’ – there has not been any inquiry remotely like what was requested by the thousands who signed Milne’s petition.
David Milne’s letter to the Petitions Committee has been heavily redacted. Future articles will look at why Milne’s final statement was cut in this way.
What did he plan to say that the committee did not want the public to see?
Were any of the people on the committee likely to want to prevent an investigation into how Alex Salmond wined and dined Trump, and then intervened in the live planning application? Why did the police arrest two journalists on the say-so of Trump’s site manager, yet decline to even look at potential evidence caught on video of property damage and theft from the Milne property?
Reactions are still coming in from residents, campaigners and politicians; these will be aired in due course as well. But for the time being it is clear that the wish of the people to have a proper, public examination of what is now a cause celebre does not matter to central government.
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