Feb 142013
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

Another week passes in Aberdeen; Jamie Oliver’s new Italian restaurant had its first tasting sessions, and bookings extend way into the future. I feel kind of badly that no one told the poor guy we were ‘closed for business’, having rejected the Granite Web.

Then again, since 6,000 people will be in the promised jobs created by Donald Trump, this will mean we need more restaurants, too. Since the government said it, it must be true.

Our city council has put forward a plan to spend £56 million and improve our city centre and our roads.

To think – we could have spent only £84 million more, forgotten about fixing the few potholes we have, and built a granite web instead. Sophisticated culture-seekers would forget Venice, Paris and Rome to come walk up one side of the web and down the other.

I did say I’d be pleased to stop writing about the web, but its supporters, realising their vision is the only vision, are still using their influence to float this idea.  They are going to flog this dead horse a while longer it seems.

Flogging dead horses is something which has been going on in Europe for some time as far as our meat is concerned anyway. Which leads to some definitions for the week

Labelling problem (modern European Union compound noun) – a minor, unimportant event where something has had the incorrect label put on it.

Thinking of dead horses, I wouldn’t worry too much about eating horse meat. Sure, you may have been paying through the nose for beef, or perhaps you’re buying budget ready meals for you and your family. Meat is meat of course. Except for the small fact you’ve probably been cheated and lied to so someone could make a profit at your expense.

Just because meat packing companies were lying about what the meat actually was, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they’d mislead us over anything else, does it?   Some people might care about hygiene, animal welfare issues including transport, but I’m sure everything’s fine on that score. You can bet on it (and you could probably have bet on that hamburger you’re tucking into when it was alive).

Don’t worry about anything to do with your health and diet; the European Union are having a meeting or two on the horse meat issue. Result! I’ll bet you feel better already.  First and foremost, they’ve decided they were in no way at fault in this situation. I’m sure we agree.  I for one would hate to nag my MEP over this issue, or saddle him with any other worries.

EU agricultural regulations might just be a tad complicated, and might be enforced differently from one country to the next (or not enforced at all), but it’s nothing to do with our lawmakers, their abattoir inspectors, their agricultural policies, etc. According to news website EU business, the EU Commission spokesman Frederic Vincent reassuringly said at a news conference on the possibility of a British ban on EU meat exports:-

“We’re not talking about a food safety issue.   Nobody got sick as far as I know. It’s just a labelling issue. So at this stage a ban on anything would not be appropriate.”

The Commission itself could only legally take action if there was proof of a health issue, he added.
http://www.eubusiness.com/britain-france-food

Old Susannah is so happy to learn no one got sick.  Guess that’s the end of the food worry.

I’m sure it’s unimportant, but if you’re interested, some of the drugs we give horses to treat ailments such as inflammation  include ‘Bute’ – a medicine which arguably is linked to cancer in humans. But no worries.  ‘No one got sick.’

If a person did come in contact with cancerous materials, they’d instantly ‘get sick.’ Thankfully we have great scientific minds at work in the EU and not just politicians trying to worm their way out of tough situations via damage-limitation exercises in spin.

We’ve established that a person might not be instantly physically sick just from eating horse (which is a staple meat in many places – so much so it makes me wonder why the EU spokesperson had to say ‘no one got sick’).  I’m sure this little misadventure in mis-labelling  will be totally comical to the thousands of horse-lovers who’ll find out they’ve eaten horse meat when thinking they were eating something else.

The EU’s Muslim population will likewise be delighted to find that pork might have contaminated their food, too. Perhaps we’ll have a new brand of horse steak ‘I can’t believe it’s not burger!’

we can’t have countries just going around deciding what they’re going to do on their own, can we?

Sadly, there are those who don’t take the EU’s word at face value for some reason or other.  Damian Carrington of the Guardian has written an article asserting that EU policy change was responsible in part for this situation.  He’s found a few so-called experts (like some guy Dr Mark Woolfe, head of food authenticity at the FSA)  to back this position up.

Since the Guardian is a left wing paper which actually criticises national and EU government initiatives, you can forget about Carrington’s piece (which is here in case you are interested – http://www.guardian.horsemeat-scandal ).

But why is the EU so keen to insist no one’s got sick?  This is what they said about any import bans:-

Owen Paterson, the British environment secretary… ruled out restrictions on imports of European meat into Britain, saying that such measures could be considered only if food safety issues were involved.

“’This appears to be an issue of fraud and mislabelling’” Mr. Paterson said.”
nytimes/anger-flares-in-europe-as-scandal-over-horse-meat-

Yes, no health issues, just labelling.  Only the worst kind of cynic would think that the EU was more interested in politics, power, damage limitation (or heaven forbid money) than our health. Furthermore, we can’t have countries just going around deciding what they’re going to do on their own, can we?  Where would we be then?  If only there was something in place to give farmers a fair, just and reasonable financial aid…

Common Agricultural Policy (modern EU compound Proper noun) an European Union system by which farmers and agricultural land holders are given a subsidy.

Perhaps if we were only willing to contribute some small amount of money to farming in the EU, things like this wouldn’t happen. Here is a quote which may be of interest on that score:-

“The CAP cost British consumers £6.7bn in 1998 and taxpayers footed a further £3.4bn to fund the scheme. The total was equivalent to £3.30 per person per week in Britain, or £250 per year for every man, woman and child.” – Elliott Morley, Agriculture Minister, 1999
http://www.civitas.org.uk/eufacts/FSPOL/AG3.htm

Ah the old days of the 1990s, when there was hardly any money to go around.

I guess we’d better up the subsidies or we might wind up with more ‘labelling problems’ (which are of course not serious or anything to worry about).  You might think this level of subsidies was quite a (horse) gravy train, but you’d be wrong.  In fact, a website tells you a bit more about the value for money we get from CAP http://farmsubsidy.org/news/features/2012-data-harvest/ .

I must say, the figures we’re talking about start to make the granite web’s cost look as inconsequential as the web itself looked.

I’m sure every CAP penny is fully accounted for and only spent on practical necessities (although the Guardian would have you believe differently guardian-budget-battle-brussels ).  Just because the EU has issues with creating a complete, transparent set of accounts which can be successfully audited, approved and published, doesn’t mean anything’s amiss.

Finally, lots of the blame seems to be falling on Romania, where this type of food labelling might or might not have started.  The Romanians quite rightly threatened to veto the new EU budget; it seems they were unhappy with a few things including their CAP.  I guess this threatened veto and its implication in the ‘labelling’ problem might answer the question posed by Monty Python: ‘What did the Romanians ever do for us?”  (Just don’t mention the Price Wars).

Supermarket Price Wars (Modern English compound noun)

I’m sure it’s completely unrelated to the way EU policy is implemented in the UK, but supermarkets put a tiny bit of pressure on farmers to get the most produce for the least money.  You would think CAP subsidies would make up for any low profit margins.

CAP subsidies are easy enough to get in the UK – there is hardly any paperwork (if you’re an accountant and EU law expert); there is no bureaucracy (e.g. most animals need 3 ear tags for openers or farmers are fined) , and our government always pays EU subsidies to farmers accurately and quickly (except for that time we got fined a few million by the EU for making farmers wait months for their subsidies).

Back to the supermarket issues.  We all know that petrol prices, rail freight, taxes and so on have had tiny increases.  This has made farmers costs go up like everyone else’s have.  Are they getting more money from the big chains to cover their costs?  Not so much.  Our benevolent supermarket chains strive to keep customers happy.

Someone’s profit margins have to go down for the prices to stay low, and it’s certainly not going to be the supermarket’s

This is not because they want to gain as much of the market share for the grocery sector as possible; nor because they want to make it so small competitors don’t stand a chance.  It’s because they genuinely like us all, and want to give us as much stuff as cheaply as possible.  And that’s where the farmer happily plays his part.

The supermarket price wars are the never-ending battle between the giant chains to keep their prices as low as possible.  Result!  Farmers might get just a little bit squeezed.  Someone’s profit margins have to go down for the prices to stay low, and it’s certainly not going to be the supermarket’s profits that get cut.

Has a farmer grown carrots which are not all identical in size and shape?  He or she will have to get rid of the bad ones, and only get paid for the perfect looking ones.  Farmers should be grateful big chains buy their produce at all.

Where does animal welfare fit into the supermarket price wars?  Your customers who care about how animals in the food chain are treated when alive and/or who can afford to pay for better looked after animals will buy free range, organic chickens.  Those on a budget will find there’s budget meat for you.  Just don’t expect the animals have had a great life in the outdoors on the farm.  And as we now know, don’t even expect the animal meat you buy is the meat you think you’re buying.

Maybe it’s time we started buying food from local producers directly.  Maybe it’s time we stopped insisting our vegetables should all be perfectly formed.  Maybe we should make animal welfare a priority, and stop shipping live animals around the country (and the world).

Or maybe we should just sit back, have a frozen shepherd’s pie or two, and wait for the EU to make it all better.  Eventually.

Are you really so hungry you could eat a horse?

If perhaps you would rather ‘aid a horse’ ….. read on.

Some people have this crazy notion that horses are animals that work all of their lives, and deserve to be treated with more dignity than to be sold off as burgers when they age.

One such place is the Bransby Home of Rest for Horses, Mountains Animal Sanctuary (which had some of its Christmas donations stolen and its premises vandalised ) – and of course locally we have Willows, which is inundated with abandoned horses and ponies.

These and similar organisations get just a little bit less than are doled out in EU CAP subsidies.  If you can spare some time or money, you could do worse than making a donation to an animal welfare charity of your choice.

 Next week:  a look at the exciting new plans for golf course No. 2 for the lucky Menie residents, a look at Aberdeen city’s plans, and for me, a look at my vegetarian cookbooks.

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Dec 142012
 

In a particularly callous crime, given that we’re in the season of goodwill to all men – and, presumably, animals – thieves have struck at a Forfar animal sanctuary. Suzanne Kelly reports.

Thieves have dealt a heavy blow to Mountains Animal Sanctuary, taking goods and cash worth thousands, and vandalising the premises in the process.
The theft took place on Sunday night 9th December – following a successful Nativity play fundraiser.

Thankfully no animals were harmed; this was a huge worry as there has been a spate of animal woundings in Aberdeenshire, possibly linked to the sale of pellet guns sold in pound shops on Aberdeen’s Union Street.

“My blood ran a bit cold.” said Pam Taylor of Mountains in Forfar.

Winter is the hardest time of year for any animal shelter.  Food costs for grazing animals doubles (or more), heating and lighting costs need to be reckoned with.  In our current economy people are abandoning domestic and farm animals – even ponies and horses – leaving them exposed to danger abuse and death.  Our area shelters do a great job in protecting these innocent animals, and Mountains Animal Shelter is no exception.

Pam explained that after a successful fundraising event, cash was left overnight on the premises in a padlocked cupboard in a locked office. CCTV should have identified the thieves – but the entire system was stolen.  It certainly seems that whoever organised this theft and property destruction knew this was a good time to strike, and knew that there was CCTV to be reckoned with.

Pam commented:

“It was a terrible shock on Monday morning. We’ve lost about £2,500 in cash. They stole stock from the shop, worth as much as another £3,000. The CCTV system was worth some £2,500.”

“Apart from anything else we no longer feel secure; you’re kind of left wondering what might they might do next.”

The police are already investigating leads and considering the value of the goods and money taken, it’s no surprise the CID is involved. This was a callous theft, and anyone with information is urged to contact the police on 0845 600 5700.

Pam added:

“The theft is bad enough, but the thieves kicked a hole in the office door and made a big mess, tipping out drawers. They deliberately flooded the visitor’s centre. There is a broken window in the staff room. I hope the insurance will help, but cash has a limit on it for insurance claims.”

In response to this particularly cruel theft, however, a number of people turned up yesterday to help sort out the visitor’s centre; someone kindly put up a new office door.

Mountains would like to thank those who have come forward to help for their overwhelming support.

To offer practical help or financial assistance to Mountains, please contact them via their website below:

http://www.mountainsanimalsanctuary.org.uk/index.php

The website details their work with horses and ponies, with a link to PayPal for donations.

Aberdeen Voice will update readers on any developments.

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Nov 302012
 

You can help brighten the cold, dark winter months by attending the latest events and fundraising at Willows Animal Sanctuary. Attractions include a Victorian Fayre and an auction featuring a guitar donated by the legendary Brian May. With thanks to Suzanne Kelly

VICTORIAN FAYRE on 01 December

Willows Animal Sanctuary is Aberdeenshire’s largest shelter for wild, domestic and farm animals of all kinds.

Normally closed during winter months, it will hold a Victorian Themed Christmas Fayre on Saturday 01 December from 11.00am-3.30pm.
The event will be held rain or shine under cover in the barn.

Santa will be there 1.00-1.45pm at a cost of £2.50 per child!

 The following treats will also be on offer:

  • Holly & Ivy for sale!
  • Home bakes!
  • Live music!
  • Body Shop Stall!
  • Festive table!
  • Treats for pets!
  • Book clearance!
  • Re loved toy table!
  • Jewellery!
  • Mulled wine and mince pies!
  • Roasted Chestnuts & Tatties!
  • Raffle & Tombola!
  • Community carol singing 2pm!
  • Victorian Style Decorations!
  • Lots of great gifts for sale!
  • Stocking fillers!
  • Calendars & Cards!
  • Handmade Christmas cards & gifts!

COME ALONG AND JOIN THE FESTIVE FUN!

 BRIAN MAY GUITAR

Legendary Queen guitarist (and astrophysicist) Brian May has donated an autographed guitar for which the sanctuary is holding an open auction. People are asked to bid either by post or email and the auction ends on 23 December.

Stay informed on current bids on the Willows Facebook page: www.facebook.com/pages/Willows-Animal-Sanctuary-Animal-Assisted-Therapy-Unit/322287425356?fref=ts

Jenny Gray of Willows said:

“We are absolutely delighted to have Brian May’s support. It is so very kind of Brian and we hope it will attract lots of bids!”

May contacted Willows following the involvement as a Patron of the sanctuary of his friend Paul Rodgers.

May commented on his support for Willows:

“I hope this trusty guitar will contribute to improving the life of these wonderful animals.”

May is not only known for his music but for his unflagging work across a number of charities and animal issues. He has recently lent his support against the proposed badger cull meant to help combat bovine TB. The controversial culls have met widespread criticism, not least from scientists and bovine TB experts.

For those interested in the guitar, its features include:

• Brian May printed signature on headstock.
• Brian May real signature on lower left bout of the guitar
• Mahogany body (with acoustic chamber) with Pinstripe binding
• New two-piece scratch plate
• Mahogany neck
• 24″ scale (Depth: 22mm at 1st fret … 24mm at 12th fret)
• 24 fret – ebony fingerboard (width 45mm at 0 fret … 57mm at 24th fret)
• Grover GH305 locking tuners
• Dual truss rod
• Graphite nut
• New Wilkinson bridge & steel saddles
• New bridge & brass saddles
• BM Custom Vibrato arm
• 3 x Burns Tri-Sonic pickups (series wired)
• Master Volume & Tone controls
• Original BM switching system
• Individual pickup IN/OUT phase plus Individual pickup ON/OFF
• Plush-lined guitar carry bag

For further details, call Willows at 01771 653112 or email kate@willowsanimals.com

You can also check their website at www.willowsanimals.com

Willows Animal Sanctuary is situated on the B9093 between New Pitsligo and Strichen

Nov 092012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s event’s in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly. 

Tally Ho!  This past week has been an exciting one on several counts.  The fireworks were amazing – when Nick Clegg tried to handle Question Time in Parliament, the poor man could not open his mouth without the Opposition attacking him.  Sadly, his friend(s) must have been confused, because they jeered him just as much as Labour did.

The speaker tried to calm the explosive situation to little avail.  Alas, going down in history for being heckled by both sides is possibly not what Mr Clegg intended.  (I recall he was helping Kate Dean with her image; that doesn’t seem to have worked out as intended, either).

It’s almost as if breaking one or two election pledges is not doing the LibDems any favours.  If things get any worse for Clegg, he’ll have to ask Kate to give him some popularity pointers.

On Sunday I ran into someone from the Scottish SPCA; there had been reports of an injured seal near Torry Harbour.  The Scottish SPCA couldn’t find the seal, nor could I.

Still, if anyone comes across any animals in distress, do call the Scottish SPCA on 03000 999 999.  (The leaflet to combat dog fighting will be ready for distribution from Saturday, and anyone who wants to help give these out should get in touch with Aberdeen Voice).

There were delicious canapés at Malmaison, lots of delicious eats at Café 52, and BrewDog has some particularly gorgeous craft beers on tap.  Moreover, the Dog has re-released ‘Ghost Deer’ – a strong, amazing beer in brilliant packaging. Perhaps I’m drawn to the Deer-themed artwork for some inexplicable reason.

I’m told a t-shirt will be produced soon; it seems a chief BrewDog artist works in the Aberdeen BrewDog bar – do check out the shirts on offer; they are a good example of locally-created, wearable artwork.

This Friday night I look forward to some pampering at Lush, and then heading to the Masked Ball in Union Terrace Gardens.  It sounds like a very creative and elegant affair, and the Balmoral Group organisers are holding this event in aid of Friends of Anchor.  This charity seeks to buy equipment and improve things at the ARI for cancer patients; a most worthy cause.  Pictures to follow.

Also this week artist Nicky Cairney got in touch to share some haunting artwork on the theme of Tullos Hill; she found the Hill’s story very moving and inspired this artwork.  More of her work can be found at www.nickycairney.co.uk.

I am sure that despite the rocky ground, visible waste everywhere, ploughed up gorse, resultant smaller wildlife numbers, dead deer and a fraction of the 89,000 trees planted, this great project alone will help our eventual city of culture bid.

Perhaps the Turners and Constables of the future will flock to the hill to paint pictures of rusty metal and tainted earth.

Limousine Bull is re-grouping.  If you weren’t aware, this art resource was forced to leave its premises in Torry a few months back over a funding crisis – a crisis that any one of our great and good self-proclaimed patrons of the arts or culture-loving former city administration could have stepped in and solved for a four-figure sum.

I guess they had more important things to fund instead of supporting a gallery space, a teaching space, and affordable studios for up-and-coming artists in Aberdeen to work in, which brought people to Torry, and brought artists together.  After all, we have to prove we’re a city of culture.

Closer to home, despite non-stop editorialising in the City Garden Project Press, aka ‘The Aberdeen Press & Journal’, Labour are sticking to their election pledge and aren’t going to build the web.

Never a news organ to let beautiful artwork sit idle, the P&J have trotted out the luridly coloured concept drawings from the doomed CGP several times this week.  (I really must start forcing myself to look at all the old P&Js, and seeing if there has been a single issue over the past 2 years which didn’t have a web story on the first few pages – but I just can’t bear the thought of it).

Granite web supporters (i.e. Scottish Enterprise and its sprog ‘Visit Scotland’, ACSEF, and the construction industry) would have you believe that the web should still be the salvation of Aberdeen and the reason no one wants to lead our city of culture bid is that we didn’t turn our only city centre green space into a granite-clad spaghetti junction and we didn’t mulch our ancient trees.

Perhaps by building the theatre in front of the theatre they were trying to do for performing arts what they did for high street shops by building Union Square Mall?

What kind of youth culture exactly is going on here?

Should we be the City of Culture?  While I did address this with a definition a while ago, it seems timely to do it again.   As people try to make a living in the Arts in Aberdeen with or without government support (such as Limousine Bull), let’s take another look at the great expense – sorry – benefits of becoming a City of Culture..

Youth Culture: (compound noun; English) A given collection of style, behavioural, ideological characteristics shared by a given group of young adults.

Well, we do have youth culture in Aberdeen, and not just the long-running international youth festival.  During Bonfire events, a group of young people in Seaton decided to throw burning pieces of wood at fire-fighters, and shoot fireworks in the firemen’s directions.  A group of young people assaulted two men as well.  What kind of youth culture exactly is going on here?

I think the problem lies in there not being a granite web.  You build your web, create 6,500 jobs, and then there will be no further problems.

Skateboarding, graffiti, hanging around smoking  and underage drinking can all be centralised in the web, perhaps in a ‘youth culture zone’.  This will please everyone who insists Union Terrace Gardens are filled with old drunks and druggies – we’ll get in a better class of sub-culture.  Younger drunks.  This indeed will help our city of culture bid.

Perhaps these violent outbursts are because we have too many affordable, exciting things for young people to do, too many arts and music programmes, too many places for them to socialise and have fun.  I think there is room for further cuts to library opening hours, music tuition, art and craft provision and so on.

City of Culture: (compound noun, English)  A European designation given to a city for one year; the city is meant to then put out a varied programme of performing and visual arts.

Right, we are all agreed (apparently) – we want to bid for and win the coveted (?) City of Culture title.  As described in Old Susannah No. 82, this might mean spending a few million here and there on things like giant spiders (nice fit with the web) which Liverpool spent £2 million on.  It will definitely mean building lots of new structures!  Result!

The unhappy millionaire builders we have locally will get to give us more ground breaking (probably greenbelt breaking) glass box buildings, malls and parking spaces.

Of course we have lots of buildings in the public and private sectors which we could put back into use (via tax incentives, improvement notices, discount rents to arts groups and social projects), but there’s little in it on the building front, and that’s what the City of Culture is all about – building new stuff.

Since the City of Culture bid for Aberdeen is being linked to the web, it is in the news nearly as much as those lovely drawings of the flower-covered, sunny web design.  It is prompting much discussion and speculation.

A friend of mine asked me:

 “why can’t we just have lots of events like we do anyway, and give more support to our local up-and-coming artists without spending money on the City of Culture Bid?”

I guess some people just can’t grasp the concept.

Unexpected: (adjective) An event or result which could not have reasonably been projected or forseen.

Here’s a coincidence for you.  Liverpool spent millions on its 2008 bid to successfully become the City of Culture.  Then there was a little coincidence in 2009, totally unrelated to this wonderful honour.

According to the Liverpool Echo newspaper of 29 December 2009:-

“Row brewing over £11m budget cuts proposal by Liverpool city council

“SCRAPPING school uniform grants for needy children, closing children’s respite homes and swimming baths and slashing culture spending are among cuts proposed by cash-strapped city bosses.

 “They have also put forward the closure of the Park Road swimming baths in Toxteth and cutting culture funding by £400,000.

“The options have been put forward by officers as they try to plug an unexpected £11m gap in next year’s budget.”

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2009/12/29/row-brewing-over-11m-budget-cuts-proposal-by-liverpool-city-council-100252-25484325/

I suppose you couldn’t have expected that spending £2,000,000 on a giant spider, and spending  hundreds of thousands of pounds on the culture bid, and unknown quantities on management companies, events, building projects and so on in 2008 could have led to any financial hardships in 2009.  Who could have seen that coming??

The City of Culture was supposed to make everyone rich after all.  This promise of wealth has a bit of a familiar ring to it; I’m sure I’ve heard about some project somewhere in Aberdeen like that.

Old Susannah must write to Liverpool and ask them if they use the services of PriceWaterhouse Cooper when they make their financial forecasts.

Synthetic: (Adjective) something which has been artificially fabricated, as opposed to something that naturally grows.

Whether or not we get the City of Culture award, we can be glad we’re in a city which nurtures local talent, allows creative movements to grow, and encourages experimentation within the arts to occur organically.

Sure, there may not be any money for school music, arts programmes like Limousine Bull are being allowed to die, and talented fashion designers and video artists (like the unique Fraser Denholm) are leaving the city at an alarming pace to live and work elsewhere (heaven knows why they head to London and Glasgow).

Furthermore, the more cynical are asking whether no one wanted to take on the role of City of Culture director because we don’t retain our talent, because we don’t support the artists we do have enough, because we kicked Peacock in the teeth, because we don’t encourage children to take up art and music in school to a greater degree, and because there is no natural flowering of art in all the unused shops we have – which other cities manage to rent to artists on affordable bases.

No – the reason no one wanted the job is because we didn’t build the web.

But more importantly, we’ve got a couple of city council suits who are helping to sort our culture out.

These people have decided what ‘quarters’ parts of Aberdeen are.  We have the ‘merchant quarter’ on the green.  Sure, half of the shops are closed or closing, crippled by business rates, but we’ve put up signs saying ‘merchant quarter’ – so merchant quarter it is.

We must all rejoice in the arbitrary designating of ‘cultural quarters’, ‘merchant quarters’ ‘civic quarters’ and so on.  You can practically feel the difference when you step from the civic quarter into the merchant quarter can’t you?

In case you doubt Aberdeen City’s and ACSEF’s abilities to create awe-inspiring artwork and prose, here is a little something to keep you going until next week:   http://www.aberdeencity.gov.uk/nmsruntime/saveasdialog.asp?lID=38444&sID=14302

As you can appreciate, if you just let things happen, you wind up with places like Notting Hill Gate, Brick Lane and so on – areas that are a bit edgy and filled with unwashed artist and musician types.  Down with that sort of thing.  Remember to know what quarter of the city you’re in, and be glad someone more creative than you or I thought to slap labels on them.

Next week:  No quarter.

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Oct 262012
 

Another week of fun and games have passed. Old Susannah was pleased to have attended a few nice dinners, and enjoyed a few nice BrewDogs.

Malone is synonymous with quality, elegance, good taste and beauty.  Jo Malone that is.  A lovely champagne and canapes event was enjoyed by a few dozen people this past Wednesday in their Aberdeen showroom, and I’ve got a few lovely new colognes and candles.

As to the other, slightly less fragrant local Malone, Aileen must be pleased as punch that the ‘Tree for Every Citizen’ scheme has won an award!  More on that later.

I am also very grateful indeed to have now made it to 100 columns.

There never seems to be a shortage of things to write about in our city, shire and country. Just when you think you have seen it all (from seagulls stealing crisps from newsagents to men getting their heads stuck in rubbish bins), something even more preposterous comes along.

The virtues of our former council and its employees, our Independence woad-warrior First Minister, some of our worthy citizens and even Japan have been inspiring me with their virtues of late. Faith, Hope and Charity are considered to be among the most noble of virtues.  Let’s see where they fit in with this week’s developments.

Faith: (noun) An unswerving loyalty to a cause or religion, trust in a person, group or religion, often where there is no hard evidence or logic to support taking such a position.

I guess we all need a little  more faith, particularly in our leaders and those who want our money for charity.

To start with, we should take it on faith that Alex Salmond did/did not take legal advice over the legal aspects of an independent Scotland and the EU.  He definitely did/did not say anything of the kind.  He also did/did not spend taxpayer money trying to thwart a Freedom of Information Request which would have shown he did/did not take legal advice.  Hope that’s cleared things up.

When Japan had a catastrophic tsunami event some while back, like many others, I sent money in good faith, believing that the money was going to be used to help those affected by this natural disaster.  Thankfully, there was so much money left over that the Japanese government was able to take a million or two and put it to the very charitable use of a PR campaign to smear the Sea Shepherd.

Now the Sea Shepherd is an irritating vessel and crew that try to stop scientific progress.  They are interfering with Japan’s scientific reasearch programme on whales and dolphins which involves scientifically harpooning the creatures and eating them, and/or selling them to aquariums, where the lucky dolphins and whales can be scientifically taught how to jump through hoops for food.

We just saw the annual slaughter (a fairly recent event really – don’t believe the hype this goes back hundreds of years – it’s new, hip and trendy) of about 50-60 marine mammals in Japan’s Taji Cove.  Bothersome protestors tried to monitor and deter the event.

Perhaps those who enjoy seeing animals perform in aquariums might like going along to Taji next year?  It is after all what they’re supporting when they pay to go to dolphin and whale shows.

I’m thinking of sending Japan some more money now, to help with the science, you know.  You gotta have Faith.

There is, by the way, a Japan Facebook page, extolling the more pleasant aspects of the country.  Alas, it no longer allows me to make posts.

Some guy named Richard posted a comment on the Japan page to the effect of ‘shut up about the bloody dolphins (I guess they were bloody by then, having just been killed in a tiny cove they had been held captive in for weeks) – posting about stuff on Facebook is stupid and doesn’t do any good.’

Richard of course decided to share his wisdom about the futility of making posts on Facebook by… making a post on Facebook.  I  hear he may look for a job in the BiG Partnership.

Hope: (noun) An absence of despair, a belief that something good will happen.

Hope is likewise a great virtue.  When the old Council had Aileen Malone running the Housing & Environment committee, it was hoped she’d do a great job.  Result.  She, Ranger Ian Tallboys and Pete Leonard very much hoped that no one would realise there was a deer cull attached to their excellent ‘tree for every citizen scheme’ when the consultation to the public was open; they also hoped no one would notice they didn’t mention the cull at the time.

They definitely hoped private companies would come forward with money, but strangely enough, no one wanted their brand linked to slaughtered deer.

One of their hopes has come true:  Princess Anne is shown in a lovely photo this week in the local news, giving Ian Tallboys… a certificate!  I always thought he was certifiable.  Can honours in the New Year be far away for Talltales, HoMalone and Pete?  I know I hope so.

However, I hope no one will be writing to the Princess’ secretary, giving full details of this amazing scheme, such as the 2,500 people who signed a petition against the cull, the scheme’s financial accounts, the fact the city let Chris Piper write a report which in effect recommended giving him loads of dosh for killing our deer, and the fact that a few thousand less trees than promised were planted on Tullos.

It should be noted that the ‘tree for every citizen’ scheme is nearly as scientific as Japan’s whaling programme.  It started with a LibDem election pledge which was a soundbite (A tree for every citizen! Genius!) Then, per one of Tallboy’s scientific powerpoint reports, one of the challenges was…. to figure out where to put all these trees.

Soundbite first, reality second.  Did it matter we lost a meadow and a herd of nearly tame, dearly-loved deer?  Not in the least.

I hope no one will be sending the latest photos which prove the exposed ground is basically a pile of rocks with lots of trash mixed through it, and the place is now an absolute shambles.

Here’s hoping nothing will spoil this great triumphant moment of success.

As Ian Tallboys put it:

“It is great news that the hard work of everyone involved is now being recognised on the national stage.” 

As I am fond of saying:  Result!  I will do all I can to ensure they get the recognition they deserve.

Charity: (noun) the act of giving assistance, whether financial or practical, to those in need.

The Aberdeen Cyrenians, a charity for the homeless was just one of many local charities to have its budgets slashed by the Kate Dean adminstration back in the good old days.  Rather than working to collect some £11 million of bad debt, and manage things wisely, we cut down on wasteful charities.  Quite right too.

Thankfully we have since been more selective in what charities we give money to – or at least the previous administration did.  I can announce for those of you who didn’t know that Aberdeen City generously gave £22,245.00 to a great cause in November 2011.  This amount was for an ‘Enterpreneur / Enterprise Education Pilot’.

Was the  money requested by some grass roots group with little resources?  Perhaps by a local charity with no means of its own?  Was it a group that needed money for this pilot more than the other charities which had funding slashed recently?

Indeed.  Yes, this money was paid by the taxpayer to The Wood Family Trust.  You know, the people who brought you – well, nearly brought you – the Granite Web.

You might be wondering what kind of a charity the Trust is.  So am I.  As we know, billionaire Sir Ian promised to give £50 million in aid to Africa if we didn’t want  the web.  I am sure Africa will be getting this much needed aid any second.  When the Wood Family Trust shortly reveals its next audited accounts as charities must, I’m sure all will be clear.

They seem to do a great deal of work in Rwanda, and have  partnership of some sort with the Sainsbury organisation to do so.  Now you may have read of Rwanda’s AIDS epidemic and the problems of AIDS being passed to children.

( Click On The Picture to Enlarge. ) 

Perhaps you think of its early mortality rates, and the genocide which plagued the land, and the povery that most people live in.  The Wood Family Trust is going to change all of that – by improving how Rwanda landowners grow and market tea.

There is an old saying, ‘give a man a fish and he eats for a day; teach him to fish, and he’ll never go hungry.’  I think this needs an update, and I might suggest: ‘give a man a better way to grow tea on his land, and the wealth will trickle down to the neediest members of that society – or not.’

Charities get all sorts of amazing tax breaks; some of the more cynical among us might ask questions of some charities.  What do they actually do?  Who or what problem are they helping?  Do they have  many people on board who earn over £50k per year?

If they have millions of pounds, how much is actually going on direct charitable work for others?  Are they asking for taxpayer money which then means other charities, schools, the elderly or people with special needs must go without?  Good thing we’re not cynical and have faith in charities.

Are all charities not for profit?  Not exactly.  For instance there is a charitable trust based in the tax haven of Lichtenstein run by a banking group.  A nice little wheeze was recently exposed when an accountant was jailed for a £5 million pound tax evasion scam – which he’d apparently skimmed off those clients he was helping.

Basically, a few worthless shares were artifically pumped up and over valued.  These shares were sold to charities, and donated / moved on.  In a complex scheme, the ‘charities’ were able to claim the price difference back and got gift aid as well, while getting tax relief.  Maybe we should all go into the charity business.

Next week:  more little gems I uncovered while looking through last year’s invoices – including some Milne invoices, and a BiG surprise.  Cheerio!

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Oct 262012
 

The public are being urged to report any misuse of fireworks in the run-up to Guy Fawkes Night on 5 November. With thanks to John Robins, Secretary of the Animal Concern Advice Line

It is illegal for fireworks to be sold to anyone under 18 and for persons under 18 to be in possession of fireworks in the street or other public areas. If someone suspects that a shop is selling fireworks to people under 18, or if they see a person under 18 with fireworks they, should report this to the police immediately.

People making bonfires are asked not to build the bonfire until a few hours before it is going to be lit. Piles of wood and other materials can attract hedgehogs, frogs and other animals looking for a place to hibernate, so it is best to store the material for the bonfire in a different area

Owners of pet and other animals are urged to make preparations for bonfire night. All animals should be kept inside from before sunset on 5 November. Having a radio or TV on can help distract the animals from the noise of the fireworks.

John Robins of Animal Concern Advice Line said:

“There is no doubt the changes to the law  introduced in 2004 have greatly reduced the number of nasty incidents involving fireworks, but we are still getting reports of fireworks being set off in the street.

 “Fireworks can injure or kill pet, farm and wild animals!

 “Ideally, I would like to see the private purchase of fireworks totally banned and their use restricted to licensed public displays. Until then we urge the public to report any misuse of fireworks to the police immediately. But the police cannot enforce the law if they do not know it is being broken.

 “If you witness a shopkeeper selling fireworks to under-18s, or if you see anyone under 18 with fireworks in the street or a park, call the police immediately, give them as much detail as possible and ask them for an incident number so you can phone back later to find out what action was taken.”

 “People who do decide to hold a private bonfire and fireworks party on 5 November should follow the fireworks code to ensure the safety of everyone involved and any animals in the area.  

“However – and especially when money is tight – instead of spending a lot of cash on a private fireworks party it is much better to go to organised public displays where, for nothing or a small donation, you can watch thousands of pounds worth of very powerful and spectacular fireworks being set off safely by experts.”

Image credit: © Anna Dobos | Dreamstime.com

http://www.dreamstime.com/fireworks-imagefree176819

Oct 222012
 

Animal Concern Advice Line supporters and all people concerned with animal welfare living in Scotland are urged to participate in a public consultation closing Friday.  How animals are treated in the food chain is the subject.  John Robins of  Animal Concern Advice Line explains what is at stake to Aberdeen Voice.

The Scottish Government is currently running a public consultation on the implementation in Scotland of EU Regulation 1099/2099 which governs the welfare of animals at the time of slaughter.

These regulations could do many things to reduce the pain and suffering caused to animals killed in abattoirs.

The Scottish Government currently has the opportunity to ensure that all animals slaughtered in Scottish slaughterhouses are rendered totally unconscious prior to being killed.

However, at least one senior civil servant and a Government Minister has said the consultation process will not result in a ban on the slaughter of conscious animals. Politicians and civil servants should not be allowed to take democracy out of our hands.

We must show the people whose wages we pay at the Holyrood Parliament that the majority of the electorate want all animals to be rendered fully unconscious before being killed. No matter what you hear from politicians, be assured that these regulations could be used to totally ban the non-sentient slaughter of animals in Scottish slaughterhouses.

At a meeting held in Edinburgh on 4 April, a senior civil servant admitted Government Minister Richard Lochhead had already decided, before the consultation documents had even been drafted, that compulsory CCTV would not be included for consideration in the consultation. I denounced this as an affront to democracy and pledged to mount a public campaign to have CCTV included in the consultation.

After a series of e-mails between ACAL the Government, I was informed that the use of CCTV would now be included in the consultation. When the consultation was published, a question about CCTV was included but phrased in such a way to make it clear this would be something for future implementation and not something to be brought in now.

Once again, this is a case of our employees at the Parliament telling us what they want to do instead of waiting until the electorate tell them what we want them to do. These regulations could be used now to make it compulsory for abattoirs to install CCTV to monitor the welfare of animals from the moment they arrive at the abattoir to the time they are killed.

There are two things I would like our Scottish supporters (and any of your friends in Scotland if they are so minded) to do.

1: Please go to the Scotland for Animals website, fill in your details as indicated and make your submission to the Consultation. http://www.scotlandforanimals.org/consultation.html

2: Please write to your constituency and list MSPs via this website: http://www.writetothem.com/
A sample letter for guidance can be found here

Oct 182012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah looks back on the week that was, complete with Zeppelins, BrewDogs, and a bad smell coming not from the Torry sewage plant, but a whiff of scandal from Edinburgh. By  Suzanne Kelly

Tally  Ho!  By the time you read this, I’ll have been to the Led Zeppelin film ‘Celebration Day’ at the Belmont.  Am counting the minutes.  Another major highlight of this week was  BrewDog Aberdeen’s second birthday party.  I celebrated with great people, great beers, food and a lovely cake.  Happy Birthday to Brew.

I also took in a bread-making course at Nick Nairn Cookery school; it was a great course, not least because of the lovely breads I got to take home (including the tutor’s lovely white loaf).

On the down side of this week, a dog has disappeared from its garden on Holburn Street.  Grampian police downplayed earlier Facebook posts warning of potential dog thieves in our area. 

The police issued a Facebook post about a week ago, saying dog-napping worries were just rumour-mongering, and several FB posters chimed in to ridicule the people worried about potential thefts.

The cops categorically claimed no such thing was going on. Fast-forward to 16 October, and a dog has mysteriously disappeared from its back garden in Holburn Street.

Unless the small dog, not tall enough on its hind legs to reach the lock, undid the lock, went away, and decided never to return again for food or shelter, it looks like theft is a possibility.  However, the police refuse to treat this as a theft.  There is no evidence you see.

Perhaps they had expected a smoking gun, guys in striped shirts wearing masks holding bags of swag?  I wonder whether they even checked the gate for fingerprints – they certainly could have done so.  The moral is – keep an eye on your pets as much as possible, and report anything like thefts or suspicions straight away to the Scottish SPCA – and/or email stop.dogfights@yahoo.co.uk.  PS – dogs, cats, handbags, Led Zeppelin CDs , etc. are not safe left alone in cars for any length of time, either.

Common Good Aberdeen reached its financial target of £15K for a children’s play area in Union Terrace Gardens with ease, expect a play area in UTG sometime soon, hopefully with a volunteer-run, cafe, too (with all profits going directly on UTG).  No one could object to putting a play area in a city centre park, could they?

But perhaps best of all this week was sharing joyful commuting stories with fellow bus travellers.  To a man we’re all thrilled to bits at the reduction in routes.  We are of course waiting for the corresponding reduction in bus fares, which must be just ‘round the corner‘.  How wonderful that the No. 21 bus is no more, just as those wonderful Milne homes are going up in Cove.

  I’m wondering  exactly what kind of ‘independence’ Alex is actually offering

It must have been my imagination (and the imaginations of a few dozen other people), but it seemed as if quite a number of scheduled buses (no. 3s, 1s, etc) didn’t actually materialise when they should have.  I got to learn a few more new words from fellow travellers while waiting for a No. 1 bus on Monday evening.

In the wider Scottish environment, this was the week that Cameron and Salmond signed up to a yes/no referendum (wish we’d done so over the gardens –  but never mind).  Alex smiled from the covers of most newspapers this past week, and he told the press:-

 “I didn’t want to look too triumphant.” 

Don’t worry about that, Alex, you didn’t.

In fact, Alex is starting to look like a man with Ninety-Nine Problems.

Old Susannah is looking at some of these minor worries.  All things considered, I’m wondering  exactly what kind of ‘independence’ Alex is actually offering.  For openers, once you consider some of Alex’s  pals, you come to one inescapable question:  How independent exactly is Alex himself?

Is he offering Scots independence or perhaps a form of government that is just a little bit older?

Feudalism: (Eng. noun) – A system of governance/land steward ship prevalent in the middle ages in Europe where a small minority of wealthy property holders wielded power over those with less money, and a great gap existed between the haves and have-nots.

Believe it or not, it was not only the English who were oppressing the Scottish people throughout history, many Scottish nobles did so, too.  Clan warfare, theft, battles, treachery, wife-stealing, drunkenness, cruelty – these are not just part of the daily grind at Holyrood.  Indeed, there were many forms of Scot on Scot violence in the bad old days, too.

In the feudal societies of the past, a rich man owned everything in his territory and all those below him fell in line in accordance with his wishes.  If this ‘lord’ (or sometimes the noble was given the title ‘Sir’, as in ‘Sir Ian Wood’) wanted a castle, a bit of land, or say a granite web, his lackeys ensured he got what he wanted by hook or crook, or compulsory purchase order or by an arm’s length management company or Aberdeen City Gardens Trust.

Thankfully, the days of the rich man dictating the future of the land to the common man are gone.

Alex Salmond will ensure that no rich men can possibly dictate policy, seize land (or public parks), bend Quangos to their will, shield their gold from the taxman via offshore schemes, etc.  No, Alex won’t in any way favour the rich or help them gain unfair advantage.

If he did do so, say for a Murdoch (to whom he seems to have offered his services at one point), a Wood (whose web he favoured) or a Trump (who got permission to ruin the only moveable sand dune system on the UK mainland), then we would not have a free republic.  We would have feudalism.

Intervention: (Eng. noun) to take action in a situation to try and prevent an undesirable outcome.  Interventions can be legal or not.  In Scottish politics – usually not.

When Aberdeenshire Council said no to Donald Trump, Alex’s Government weighed in and  said ‘we’re open for business; c’mon over’.  Thanks for the intervention!

But now it looks as if when Scottish Futures Trust (SFT) didn’t give the beautiful, sparkly granite web the thumbs up, Alex intervened again.

The cat is out of the bag, the chickens have come home to roost, and so on.  No doubt with the best interests of Aberdonians at heart, Alex seems to have put the £140 million web into position to get TIF funding.  Where would we have been without him?

This little intervention raises just one or two questions.  Firstly, I wonder what first attracted politician Alex Salmond to Billionaire tycoon Sir Ian Wood and his Wood-Wide-Web?

How could Scottish Futures Trust (SFT) criticised Wood’s wonderful web?  Well, for openers here is how it scored ( click on table to enlarge ):-


http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Topics/Government/Finance/18232/FOI/TIFScoring

“…further detail / clarity could have been added in relation to:

  • The potential level of private sector activity created (in terms of NDR creation) and its likelihood
  • The underlying enabling nature of the assets themselves – i.e. why are these the right assets
  • The potential level of retail activity in comparison to the overall activity enabled by the TIF
  • The rationale for the redline
  • The key milestones of the project
  • The consideration of risk and risks beyond those detailed in the submission”
    http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Topics/Government/Finance/18232/FOI/TIFComments

The SFT/Government fought tooth and nail (whatever that means) against Steve Vass of the Herald getting this information made public.  For one thing, the SFT claimed people weren’t smart enough to understand their findings.  Quite right.  They argued people would not understand  that Scottish Futures Trust and its reports were only meant to guide the Government, which was then free to ignore the report and do whatever it chose to do.  Funny, this method of government consultation seems perfectly obvious to me.

You are of course as surprised and disappointed as I am that our web didn’t get higher scores.  It’s hard to imagine SFT deciding there were some financial and risk elements.

We should have sent them some of those lovely glossy brochures from Vote for the City Gardens Trust –  you know, the ones that promised 6,500 permanent jobs and £122 million flowing into Aberdeen every year if we got us a web.  That would have swung the balance.

Some  voters may well wonder why this SFT  information wasn’t  shared in advance of any referendum vote.  I’m sure it was for our own good and not to confuse us with facts.  However, if you  are angry we had a referendum with crucial facts withheld deliberately, Go Ask Alex.  Just drop him a line to find out who was playing at what, and why anyone thought we weren’t clever enough to understand a short report.

  No doubt Alex is confident that an independent Scotland will demand a granite web

Perhaps this is all too complicated for us non-Government mortals after all.  I’m so confused I’m thinking the Government wanted a trial run of the referendum system to see what the pros and cons were in advance of the Independence Referendum.

The pros?  You can put anything you want to in a glossy brochure, true or not as long as you remain anonymous.  Result!   You can also hide the voting record from any scrutiny, as was done in Aberdeen.

The Cons?  I think there were plenty of ‘cons’ involved, don’t  you?  In fact, I’m fighting the urge to list the cons by name.

You could also be forgiven for wondering  why the SFT report was prepared in the first place, if the Government had its own ideas about what should or shouldn’t be given a TIF loan.  (Old Susannah heard an unconfirmed rumour that Alex told Sir Ian to ‘leave his money on the table’ for a year.  No doubt Alex is confident that an independent Scotland will demand a granite web.  We could put it on the back of the new Scottish Banknotes).

So, Alex is going to try not to look too triumphant.  If it helps, Alex, just think back to some of your finer moments:-

  • Testifying to the Leveson Inquiry – Alex claimed the Observer had hacked his banking account in 1999 (no evidence was found) – almost as if he were trying to deflect attention from the revelation that Mr Salmond’s adviser (Aberdein) – had agreed that the first minister would call Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt “whenever we need him to” on Murdoch’s behalf.
  • intervening in Aberdeenshire planning permission and giving Trump carte blanche to bulldoze the SSI, make life a misery for the existing residents, and run the area with heavy-handed security
  • Asking Donald Trump to back the return of Megrahi to Libya
  • Spending c. £48,000 to go to the premier of the film ‘Brave’ with an entourage
  • Claiming a sum adjacent to £1,800 per week for food and drink (four year period May 2007 onward)
  • Meddling in the future of the Granite Web, and elevating it over other areas’ projects
  • Cutting money to charities while allowing unelected quangos to thrive…..

It might not amount to quite 99 problems, Alex, but you’re getting there.  Give it a week.

Teflon: (mod Eng.noun) a non-stick coating often applied to pots and pans.

Bill Clinton lurched from sex scandal to Whitewater financial scandal and back to sex scandal again, yet he escaped relatively unscathed.  People called him ‘the Teflon President’:  nothing stuck to him.

Not that our First Minister would ever do anything untoward of course, but it is almost like he’s using deflection techniques – sorry to even think it!  Just because he showed up at Leveson with counter claims that he had been hacked when he was there to testify as to his relationship with Murdoch is no reason to think he’s a slippery character.

In fact I’ve  written to Salmond to ask for his comments on some of these little trifling issues.  As soon as he answers, I’ll let you know.  Until then, just keep waving the Saltire, chant ‘Freedom!’ and believe everything you’re being promised.  Would Alex ever steer you wrong?

Just one little thing to remember:  sooner or later that non-stick pan stops working, and it gets thrown out.

Next week:  A wee update on council finances, and an old FOI of mine updated.

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Oct 112012
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s event’s in the ‘Deen and beyond and finds some bizarre and downright ugly situations worthy of  protest. By Suzanne Kelly.

It’s been a pretty wild week here in the Granite Web City, and wilder still in the wider world.  A man was killed in Torry; a man and two women are being held on suspicion of murder.  Plans for thousands of homes will soon go on display for the Bridge of Don area.

The existing residents want to get rid of any remaining ‘underused’ green areas, and they cite the excellent road network and public transportation in support of this brilliant idea, one which won’t add to pollution, traffic congestion, urban sprawl or over-crowding at all.  Result!

As I listen to Eels and enjoy a few half pints of Punk in BrewDog, I sadly realise the honeymoon is well and truly over between Donald and Alex.  The Donald’s revelations in the news this week caused bafflement, amusement and anger. 

Inexplicably, the facts seem to indicate Trump is telling the truth when he claims Salmond sought the bewigged New Yorker’s approval over the Megrahi affair.  The shock of Trump implicated in telling the truth (however belatedly) is proving difficult for the public to deal with; coupled with the fact Trump actually kept quiet about anything (well, until now) the story is quite surreal.  Alex is said to have turned salmond pink at the news.

Whether or not you think Megrahi was guilty or not (and there is evidence pointing to CIA involvement and evidence tampering), clearly the most important thing was to get the American public onside with the decision to repatriate him.  And what better way to curry favour with the US than to show that their beloved leader and greatest political thinker, Donald Trump, was on message?

At the time of writing it is unclear whether or not Trump’s blessing for Scottish independence is being sought.  I understand that the UN are appealing to him to end the Syria/Turkey crisis, and that NASA are asking him to back further space exploration.  Rumours that Obama is asking Sir Alan Sugar to back health care reforms are unconfirmed.  Alex Salmond is understood to be applying for slots on ‘The Apprentice’, ‘Ex-First Minister Factor’ and ‘It’ll be all right on the night (or not)’.

Here in the UK, the ConDems are pulling out all the stops to help workers.  Thanks guys.  They’re also  pulling out all the employment rights too (more on that later).

Aside from asking workers to give up rights to fair treatment at work in exchange for company shares, a mandatory pension scheme for the lower waged is being phased in.  You and your employer will pay into a mandatory pension scheme – unless you opt out.  Sounds wonderful!  However, looking this gift horse in the mouth would be my suggestion.

A little boy of 5 was treated like Bin Laden as he tried to get on a flight in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast

Of course, it should not concern you at all that this pension is linked to the stock market – what could possibly go wrong with your mandatory investment?  It’s not as if markets can be unpredictable, or perish the thought, stocks can ever be manipulated (except perhaps allegedly by Piers Morgan).

Remember, the Government has your best interests at heart.

Across the pond, the Americans are gearing up for presidential elections.  Debates are being held, flags being waved, and Homeland Security continues in its unchecked bid to reduce the country to a police state.  A little boy of 5 was treated like Bin Laden as he tried to get on a flight in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast.  Fair enough, he could have just been back from months in a terrorist training camp.

On the other hand, intrepid homeland security people managed to arrest someone after using clever deductive logic.

A US citizen flew in from Japan with slightly unusual luggage.  According to the BBC, he wore a bullet proof vest, had knives, handcuffs, body bags, a smoke bomb, collapsible batons, leg irons, hatchet and a bio-hazard suit and mask.  And flame-retardant trousers.

Old Susannah thinks there are at least three possibilities. One – he could have been intending on getting a rental car and driving out of the airport without getting mugged or carjacked.  Two – he could have been about to visit his in-laws.  By the way, when he boarded his flight in Japan, no one batted an eyelid at his personal effects.

Or possibility three – he was in Japan as part of the corralling, starvation, traumatising, and air-freighting dolphins and whales in Japan’s notorious Taji Cove.

For over 10 days a variety of marine mammals have been herded into a tiny area, and are being air-freighted all over the world to perform in aquariums.

Observers saw a young dolphin crammed into a sling, hoisted in the air and as it was chucked into a shipping container, it was crying (yes they do cry – they are social animals with feelings).  Still, what could be more fun for the whole family than to watch an intelligent creature used to roaming the oceans confined instead to a 50 foot tank being forced to perform for your entertainment or be starved?

 They were embarrassed, and took 45 minutes before giving me some propaganda on a CD

A San Diego Sea World Orca has a massive chunk taken out of its face; this they claim is just a little accident, and not the vicious bite it appears to be.

A dolphin in Japan similarly has a massive wound and appears ill.

You could be forgiven for thinking that these wild, beautiful creatures deserve to live in peace in the oceans, not being trapped in an unspeakably small Japanese cove in nets, waiting to be bought, starved or killed.  But that’s what Japan’s up to.  I guess we should be grateful Japan is not doing its famous ‘scientific’ experiments on these creatures (yet) – i.e. cooking them up.

The Taji Cove animals are often herded up and slaughtered – we’ll see if the slaughter is still to come.  Please do feel free to protest to the Japanese embassy.  (In fact some years ago I stopped into the London Japanese Embassy, and asked for information on their ‘scientific’ whaling project.

They were embarrassed, and took 45 minutes before giving me some propaganda on a CD.  They were polite – but they seemed to not believe their own hype.  It was like being at a  LibDem convention).  Here’s the embassy email:  info@ld.mofa.go.jp,

Old Susannah has many Japanese friends and since childhood has been interested in Japanese culture and history.  But if this situation isn’t resolved now and the animals released, there won’t be any more aid from me going to Japan the next time it’s decimated by say a nuclear accident of its own making. Like many others, I donated over the Fukushima disaster.

I’m not amused by Japan’s failure to listen to the rest of the world begging it to release the animals, and I’m less amused to find out that the real root cause of Fukushima seems to have been corporate greed and mismanagement.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-18751374

Go on Japan – release these animals, and stop perpetuating the idea of these highly intelligent animals being harmed for entertainment in aquariums.

A German observer was arrested; there is an international protest and presence in the area.  In fact it’s been quite a fortnight for protests around the world.  Some small, some large, some effectual, some laughable (but not the great pro Granite Web protest of course), and some resulting in shootings.

A few definitions are in order to try and deal with all this chaos.

Peaceful Protest: (compound noun, Eng.)  An event or campaign conducted in a non-violent manner to bring about justice or social change.

A Pakistani girl of 14 is in hospital in a coma; she was shot by the Taliban for ‘promoting secularism’.  To you and me, that means she wanted women to be able to get an education, possibly even choose their own husbands.  Ah, these young people today.

No doubt she’ll grow out of it – if the Taliban don’t kill her.  Young Yousafzai has been a peaceful protestor since the age of 11 – I guess that’s what happens when you let girls learn to read.  Down with this sort of thing.  I think she just needs a good husband.  Probably true of those Pussy Riot girls too.

Pussy Riot have endured maltreatment, isolation and human rights denial.  Serves them right – the protested against Putin – what’s not to like about Vlad?

As per usual, we have Annie Lennox siding with the Riot girls in support of their right to protest.  If you remember, some pro Granite Web people wrote to the papers that Lennox had no right to have an opinion on the web as she no longer lived in Aberdeen.  Therefore, Lennox and anyone else who’s not living in Russia or Pakistan has any right to champion the human rights of people living there.  I’m happy to have cleared that up.

Keep in mind that our very own Gordon McIntosh (perhaps one of those unnamed city admin officials who the councillors are being mean to) wanted to curtail our right to protest in Aberdeen.  Sadly, the council voted him down.  No wonder he feels hard done by.

Putting these trouble-making teens and women to shame, there are far wiser, older, richer people with far greater human rights taking a stand in the UK for our freedoms.  Let’s have a look at two of the higher-profile UK freedom warriors.

Yellowism: (noun) Belief shared by one person, Vladimir Umanets, that er, yellow is important.  Or something.

While this upstart Pakistani girl was wasting her time on human rights campaigning in the face of a violent male-dominated terrorist organisation, brave Vladimir strode into the Tate Britain, and wrote some important words (which no one understands) on a multi-million pound Mark Rothko painting.  Hero!

Rothko is only worth about $80 million, so no wonder the guards did nothing at the time.  Umanets claims while he wrote on the valuable artwork, he didn’t ‘deface’ it.  No doubt the principles of Yellowism, the cause he says he’s fighting for, are worth it, and Rothko would be  happy.  However, I’m not sure the gallery owners and the law will necessarily agree with Umanets.

Umanets follows in the courageous footsteps, well breaststrokes, of the brave Aussie who swam into the Thames last summer, ruining the annual boat race between Oxford and Cambridge.

Did he want to save whales, protest the banking crisis, stop Trident, champion Yellowism?  No, he was combatting ‘elitism’, which came as a happy surprise to some of the less wealthy members of each team’s crew.  Some of these people had to work their way through OxBridge, and had dedicated months to training for this event, but never mind.  Elitism has been defeated!

To the less enlightened, these two protestors might look like self-centered, self-serving, neurotic, attention-seeking sad cases, but I’m sure history will show them for the heroes they are.  Eventually.

Worker’s Rights: (compound noun) Basic principles protecting the rights of the employee from exploitation.  (Price £2,000 plus).

Returning to the theme of all the great things the ConDems have done to us – sorry, for us – George Osborne’s great plans just keep on coming.  Perhaps the best one yet is this new plan for workers to surrender their rights in exchange for company shares or a bit of cash.  This scheme will unite the workers, unite political parties, end the economic crisis, ensure permanent prosperity, and probably guarantee a tree for every citizen.

You will sell any rights at work which took centuries to gain, and in return you’ll own a piece of the company you’re working for (however small or however lacking in real value).  Rumours that employees will also be encouraged to sell their souls to Old Nick Clegg are as yet unconfirmed.

Have you discovered that your company is manipulating the LIBOR rates?  Is your hospital board cutting corners?  Are you working for a deranged man who brings a gun to work in Torry and shoots gulls out of his window (any resemblance to Mervyn New is purely coincidental)?  Are you a long-suffering senior admin on ACC with councillors being mean and asking you to explain your actions?

Well, you’ll not be able to do anything about it.

For one thing, you’ll be a shareholder, and if you do anything to make your company look bad, you’ll be devaluing your own shares.  This is what the ConDems are calling a ‘win-win’ situation.  Old Susannah may well have to re-examine what ‘win-win’ means, because either the LibDems or I am confused.  Must be me.

Next week:  a closer look at the ‘independent’ report saying mean councillors must be nice to the saintly city council officials – and perhaps a bit of financial news, too.

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Oct 112012
 

With thanks to Raptor Persecution Scotland.

A golden eagle was found shot and critically injured on a Scottish grouse moor in Dumfries & Galloway on Saturday, 6th October.  The bird, which had suffered shotgun injuries, is receiving expert veterinary care at the SSPCA’s National Wildlife Rescue Centre.

Raptor Persecution Scotland- http://raptorpersecutionscotland.wordpress.com/– tells Aberdeen Voice all about this crime, and the latest Scottish Government hand-washing comment.

“Information from local sources indicates that the bird was discovered on the Buccleuch Estate, very close to the boundary with Leadhills Estate, just to the north of Wanlockhead (see map below – our thanks to Andy Wightman at www.andywightman.com for his help defining the estate boundaries: Buccleuch pink, Leadhills grey).

“It is not known where the actual shooting took place.  How far can an eagle fly with an injured wing and injured tail muscles?  

“When it was found it reportedly had extensive feather damage, suggesting it had been stumbling around on the ground for some time.  The SSPCA has said if it hadn’t been picked up on Saturday it is quite likely that it would have starved to death.

“The area where the eagle was found is managed as driven grouse moor, as is the land immediately on the other side of the border and while it’s been reported that Leadhills Sporting Ltd leases land on Buccleuch Estate (see here) the precise area leased is not known.

“Whoever did it, whether a gamekeeper, a member of a grouse shooting party or someone from the Wanlockhead silk embroidery club, they will escape justice.  That’s a certainty!  Along with all the other people who have poisoned, trapped or shot the 26 other dead or ‘missing’ eagles over the last six years (see here).  And these are just the ones we know about.  

“Every time, there is outrage.  Every time, there are denials from the gamebird shooting community.  Every time, there are calls for government action.  Every time, we’re fobbed off with platitudes about ‘partnership working’.

“Every!  Single!  Time!

“Is this bird going to be the one that finally galvinises a strong response from the Scottish Government?  

“It’s been 20 years since the RSPB first started drawing attention to the criminal and unsustainable activities taking place on driven moors. What’s changed in those 20 years?  NOTHING!  (Except we’re now much better informed about the extent of the issue….all those claims of “it’s just a rogue keeper” just don’t wash anymore.  We know better now!)

“It’s encouraging to see that Scottish Environment Minister, Paul Wheelhouse MSP, has already made a statement (see the SSPCA press release).  Now we need more from him and his government.  

“The game-shooting community continues to show utter contempt for the wildlife laws, despite all the chances they’ve been given.  Enough is enough! Estate licensing should now be on the cards.  No more excuses, just get on with it. Those who don’t persecute raptors have nothing to fear.  

“Please email Paul Wheelhouse at ministerforenvironment@scotland.gsi.gov.uk and urge him to make a strong response.

“You might also want to mention to him how impressive the SSPCA response has been to this crime.  Eagle found on Saturday, press release out on Tuesday.  Mr Wheelhouse should soon be commissioning a consultation on increasing the SSPCA’s powers to investigate wildlife crime; let him know how effective they are.”

More Info:

The latest comments from the Government can be found at:
http://raptorpersecutionscotlandresponse-to-dead-eagle-found-in-grampian/

Press releases can be found from the SSPCA here and the RSPB here

Image Credit: ( home page featured image ) Creative Commons photo, Jason Hickey 

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