Oct 212013
 

merkalndpic2The spitting rain and low mist made for sometimes dull viewing on Saturday, though a Dons victory resulted nonetheless, says fitba reporter Andrew Watson, on his welcome return to the Voice team.

At least the away support appeared to make light of the weather, littering the pitch with orange and black balloons. They even shot rolls of paper from the stand when the whistle sounded for kick-off. The Tangerines had arrived in force.

Visitors Dundee United haven’t won at Pittodrie since 2009, and in some respects may feel cheated of at least a point after threatening goal on a handful of occasions. Having said that, neither team had many shots on target throughout.

If every player attacked the game with the same sense of urgency as Dandies’ midfielder Willo Flood, it would have been an entirely different spectacle.

He was the proverbial bull in a china shop, the colour of his own jersey acting like a Reds rag as he launched into every tackle. One can only hope this is a regular feature of his performance, and that he wasn’t inspired by the fact he’s an ex-Arabs’ man battling with his ex-teammates. There were boos for him from the away crowd for the duration.

It was only fair that he was awarded Man of the Match, as his work ethic almost singlehandedly propelled the Reds’ engine room in the centre of the park.

Despite this, Dundee United dominated the first half.

However, after the interval Peter Pawlett rushed through the United defence, passing to Niall McGinn, who found Calvin Zola. The man from Zaire slotted an easy ball into the back of the net on 54 minutes.

1-0 Aberdeen!

Joe Shaughnessy left the pitch eleven minutes later, with another ex-United man, Barry Robson coming on. Zola then came off, replaced by Scott Vernon after 77 minutes.

Michael Hector, a promising 21 year old on loan from Reading, was the last of the substitutes in 80 minutes, with Ryan Jack coming off.

The only other incident of note was the booking of Jamie Langfield. It was initially quite hard to figure out quite what had happened. Apparently as time was ticking away, and a United equaliser was threatening, the keeper urged the first aid man to take his time, and let him take the ball himself.

Admittedly, Aberdeen rode their luck in the closing minutes. Some blunders, made by a usually rock- solid defence, nearly cost them points.

Yet, on the other hand, it’s forcing the opposition’s hand, through winning ugly when there are few clear cut chances that accrues league points in the long term.

What do Aberdeen lack right now? Consistency. Results like this, against tough opposition like United, though, are telling proof of the Reds’ potential.

Final score:  1-0.

Oct 182013
 

Old Susannah, aka Suzanne Kelly, gets to grips with her greens this week, with the never-ending Union Terrace Gardens saga, GM crops and various vegetables – including Eric Pickles – all vying for news coverage this past week.

Dictionary

Another vibrant and dynamic, connectivity-laden, smart, successful Scottish week passes in Aberdeen.

The weather is taking a turn for the cooler at night, and I’m starting to throw old unread copies of the Evening Express (is there any other kind?) onto the fire at night (living without central heating has its charms).

Alas, I’ve been down in London and missed many events here, including Thrashist Regime, who I’m told were so lively the staid Lemon Tree staff were freaking out at all the rule infractions the band committed.

London was wonderful, but the Londoners seem to think they can manage without one central square smack in the geographical centre of town.  Somehow they carry on, in a city which is more like a series of different villages, each with its own ‘green/living/vibrant/dynamic’ heart, as our Evening Express reporters would put it.

Why, they haven’t even drawn up a map to show what is the Civic Zone or the Merchant Quarter, like we’ve done.  London clearly needs a transformational project – if only one man with a horrific – sorry terrific vision would come along, put money on London’s table (well theoretical money anyway) and tell Boris Johnson what to build and where to build it, London would start to thrive.

Thankfully, we have Sir Ian Wood.

Looking at aerial maps of London, huge great green open spaces abound.  Some call these parks/wildlife reserves/wetland centres/leisure spaces. Some people hold that these green spaces help give London a decent air quality, encourage wildlife, provide leisure space – even decrease stress levels and improve fitness.

Such spaces are, at least to the more sophisticated billionaire and ACSEF member, development opportunities. Oddly, London chooses to build in its disused brownfield rather than ‘transforming’ its green areas. Thankfully, we’re not falling for that stuff here. (I did hear a rumour that Hampstead Heath was going to be lowered to ground level for greater accessibility and connectivity. Watch this space).

Trafalgar Square remains a focal point, but it is far too small.

That will make London and Moscow take note.

At some 12,000 square metres for a population that’s around 8 million, it’s clear they are out of step with our Aberdonian city square project, otherwise known as the thing that wouldn’t die. Our much needed outdoor square will, if Sir Ian gets his way, be larger than Moscow’s Red Square.

Perhaps Aberdeen’s quangos, committees and elite have more in common with Moscow than London, come to think on it.

The City Square/Granite Web/Garden Project is proof that reincarnation is real; the thing just keeps coming back under new names, with increasingly beautiful, workable, desirable details.  Our broken heart (aka Union Terrace Gardens) could have had a new beating heart (copyright Evening Express), dwarfing both Trafalgar and Red Squares, for our population which is around, er, a quarter of a million people.

That will make London and Moscow take note.

You have to hand it to Sir Ian Wood (or so he thinks); he is persistent.  If half the goings-on I hear of were true for his retinue, finding time for any granite web project flogging would be nigh on impossible.

Aside from London’s museums, I saw the amazing Deborah Bonham and band at the Half Moon in Putney; I hope that someone is working on getting them an Aberdeen date…

Returning from London to the Deen, I eagerly bought the first P&J I could find, and started to catch up on the news; learning that former top cop Ian Paterson has just been found guilty of sexually harassing and assaulting several women over time.  Looking back over old news stories, council records and so on, I find he was involved not only with the AVCO but also with groups working with young and vulnerable people.  How wonderful.

Old Susannah remembers first moving to the Deen, and reading stories about old people being neglected, abused and mistreated in residential homes.  There was even a home that had a broken lift for weeks – leaving people stranded and unable to get outside (I’ll bet it was a jolly adventure and fun for them, rather than a hardship).

Some might find his behaviour sleazy, contemptible, inexcusable, predatory and degrading

Naively I wanted to do my part, and I called my nearest residential home, asking how I could volunteer / help.  ‘Oh, no, you have to get all kinds of clearance and be security checked’ was the response I got; I was definitely discouraged from taking it further.  Fair enough – leave the volunteer work to the professionals, I thought.

All the while, some people were allowed access to vulnerable, young and old people because they were important – like Paterson.

Kindly, Patting Paterson would ‘comfort’ women – whether they wanted him to or not – by touching them where he had no business touching them. Sounds very comforting indeed.  Then again, he only did this for a few years to a score of women. If those around him knew about this, they were quite right to leave it be, so he could continue ‘comforting’ others.

Some might find his behaviour sleazy, contemptible, inexcusable, predatory and degrading, but you can’t argue with a policeman, or indeed an ex-policeman, can you?

Old Susannah wonders now just who his friends/colleagues were (kerb crawling ex-councillors perhaps like Gordon Leslie?). Who knew what of his activities? What work was he presiding over as Chief Superintendent, or as chief executive of Aberdeen Council of Voluntary Organisations?

Could his actions and decision-making have been compromised at any time? Could he have been coerced or influenced by people who knew what he was doing? Was he around when the police were tasked by Audit Scotland to look into the dodgy property dealings uncovered in 2008?

Thankfully, we don’t need to bother with any such questions, because it’s all in the past.  The police could find no wrong-doing on the former council’s part, for instance when we sold land for peanuts, ripping off the taxpayer, and keeping very shoddy records.  Who knows what could be unravelled, but I’ll certainly not be pulling at that loose piece of yarn on the jumper, will I?

Time for some definitions (and a shot of BrewDog’s Watt Dickie) after thinking over this week’s news.  Note to self – I must try some ‘Hello my name is Sonja’, a new addition to the ‘Hello’ BrewDog collection.  And to Messrs Dickie & Watt, and all at the BrewDog Aberdeen Bar, a Happy Third Birthday.

Garden Salad: (modern English compound noun) – A dish comprising leafy and other vegetables, or a recipe for same.

Take one small, perfectly formed natural hollow, fill with trees, greens and flowers. Add greed, a pinch of desperation for immortality, and lashings of ego. Add in various vegetables (Tom Smith, Ian Wood, Stewart Milne, etc.) and toss.  Add a few hundred inches of column spaces, revoltingly poor architectural grandiosity, and unintelligible drawings.

Garnish lavishly with hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayer money (for consultants, PR, etc.). Serve with a side helping of indigestible financial sauce. Add £50 million pounds; remove; add again; remove. This dish can be served again and again. And again. Keep serving until someone, somewhere swallows. Best eaten out of Sir Ian’s hands.

Yes, he’s at it again.  We can’t keep our only city centre green space, despite having so much unused brownfield, because Wood wants it.

Barney Crockett has promised that if the garden is raised, it will not be for parking spaces – which are what was wanted by the ACSEF/Wood mob in the first place.  If you have any opinions on this, please let your elected councillors know, lest they then turn around and say no one ever got in touch with them.

Let your council know how great a glass pyramid will be, or how ruining the back side of Belmont Street’s businesses which overlook the park will somehow add to connectivity.  Tell your councillor how destroying our only natural wind break, getting rid of the few city centre trees we have will mean to your sense of transformation.

Pickles: (English noun) A sour, bitter, bloated vegetable, preserved in brine.

Eric Pickles. Where does one even start with this one man’s accomplishments?  He’s been in the news again lately, and like me, I’m sure you relish reading about him. I love to ketchup with his doings, even if some people find Pickles unpalatable.

MP Pickles claimed expenses for a second home so he wouldn’t have to commute the massive 37 mile trek from his first home to Westminster.  (I wonder if Pickles’ second home is close to the Gherkin?) This may have seemed a bit greedy to some, but for Eric to have to travel so far to get to work just wouldn’t have been right.

If he was tired in the House of Commons, he might not be able to cut the mustard. He also needed at least £300 in cleaning expenses, which he kindly repaid when asked to, at the height of the MPs expense scandal.

One of the reasons he’s rated so highly is his love of the countryside, as development opportunity anyway. As Secretary of State, he refused to call in controversial plans which saw a vast swathe of historic Dover and an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty turned into a housing development / complex.

Area residents found Pickles jarring.

If the refusal to listen to a public demand sounds familiar to anyone in the Balmedie area, another quote from this particular debacle may ring bells with Union Terrace Gardens watchers: defenders of the plan said “This is about building for the future; unlocking the economic potential of our heritage assets.”  – the tone of which somehow seems familiar to me.
http://pickles_public_inquiry_into_controversial_development

You can’t help but wonder if Pickles and his supporters would find a spiritual home in city and shire.

teenagers at the Kendall House home in Gravesend were restrained with huge doses of tranquillisers

He was also instrumental in getting rid of greenbelt in Yorkshire, Liverpool and other formerly boring areas in favour of skyscrapers and parking lots- and a gas plant in Tewkesbury where the objections were virtually unanimous.  We do need a man of his vision here.

But in his latest pickle, Eric told a woman with health issues, who had severe side effects to ‘increase her medication’ as he wisely disputed her story of residential care home forced drugging. His friend (yes, I didn’t know he had any either) told the BBC that Pickles “was giving her a frank piece of advice in private. It wasn’t meant in any way to offend or insult her”. 

What a nice guy.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24324556

The BBC story goes on to say “An investigation… claimed that teenagers at the Kendall House home in Gravesend were restrained with huge doses of tranquillisers and other drugs… 10 girls who were heavily sedated while living at the care home during the 1970s and 1980s went on to have children with a range of birth defects.”  – Doesn’t sound like much of a big deal to me; perhaps upping her medication was just Eric’s fatherly, well-meant advice.  With Pickles around, there is never a dill moment.

Golden Rice: (Modern English noun) A genetically modified, patented rice variety.

Are you one of those people who are unsure about GM foods – not certain that Monsanto should be able to splice genetic material from arctic fish into strawberries, own entire strains of food, seek a monopoly on existing seed businesses, charge farmers each season for food crops rather than farmers being able to store and use their own seed?

Are you unsure about environmental and health aspects of newly-nascent GM plants entering our food chain? Do you have ethical qualms about the third world being indebted to Monsanto forever for using GM food?  Maybe you’re not convinced farmers should be sued for theft when GM pollen gets into their own crops (as happened in Canada)?

Then Minister Owen Paterson knows what you are: wicked.

Paterson said as much to the BBC; quite rightly too.  The proliferation of GM food into our environment is nothing to fear at all, no more so than when the pesticide DDT came into wide use, and was hailed by the Patersons of the day. Of course, traces of the deadly stuff can now be found in EVERY living organism in the planet, but there you go; no harm done.

There may have been the occasional reason to harbour doubts about scientific advancements, but Science is always right, and technological advances are not made for profit, but for the betterment of the world in every instance.  The odd nuclear accident, Thalidomide birth defects, tranquilisers with deadly side effects such as Halcyon – that sort of thing doesn’t happen anymore, well hardly ever.

Don’t question, don’t worry, don’t object – doing so is wicked.  Where would we be without the guiding moral compass of Paterson and his ilk?

You wicked people should be ashamed; Paterson also says it is your fault people are starving in the third world, and golden rice will solve everything.  That’s you told, then.  And here I was thinking centuries of colonialism, civil war, disease, violence and draught were to blame.

Next week:  A look at recent Trump news including his classy new roadside sign and 2012 accounts; a glance at Stewart Milne-related news, and more definitions.

Confidential to anyone who is feeling old:  In passing, someone in their mid 50s told me they were old. First of all, I was Old Susannah way before anyone else decided to be old. Secondly, don’t be old if you don’t want to be old. One of the most youthful people I’ll ever meet was Les Paul (the guitarist and innovator).

I had the extreme pleasure of watching him play many times. There was nothing like it; the music he made; the passion for what he was doing all kept him at a mental age of perhaps 21. He’d joke; he always smiled; he had a twinkle in his eye, and he loved every moment. (And I wish I could see and hear him again). Did he have pains, aches, heartache, problems the same as the rest of us? Absolutely. He just chose to be young.

I hope to be as young as he was one of these days. Anyone who’s reading this at a computer/phone, in a warm building with food in their stomach is pretty lucky compared to most of the rest of the world, something too easily forgotten. If you have some kind of talent or gift, you have much more reason to lighten up.

Refuse to be jaded. Carpe Diem. Do something new. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Go on an adventure. Start something. I can promise you, you can stay young in heart and mind if you want to. As they say, ‘this is not a dress rehearsal’.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Oct 172013
 

The controversy over Union Terrace Gardens has flared up again and, as per form, the usual agendas, fact-free PR and emotional twaddle is to the fore. So what’s going on? Mike Shepherd writes.

utgrailpicLet’s start with the John Halliday plans that have been so much in the local papers recently. John Halliday is a local architect and is the Halliday as in Halliday – Fraser – Munro, the company that drew up the original technical feasibility study for the City Garden Project.
They also created the plans for the Triple Kirks office block and the proposed Muse development on the St Nicholas House site.

John Halliday provided the plans pro bono as an illustration of what could be done with the gardens. They were not commissioned by anyone, e.g. the Council or Sir Ian Wood.

His focus has been on moving the railway station buildings to an area under and around Union Bridge. This would allow direct escalator / lift access to the station from Union Street via the north side of the bridge (and is actually not a bad idea).

He also envisages decking over the road and existing railway. The lower level of Union Terrace Gardens would be raised to accommodate access to the station from the HM Theatre side and to also include a station car park and taxi rank.

The Halliday plans drew fulsome praise from both Aberdeen Journals; the Evening Express in particular using the plans as a centrepiece for a “Let’s mend Aberdeen’s Broken Heart” campaign lasting several weeks.

The plans also drew support from an assortment of councillors and Alex Salmond. The Friends of Union Terrace Gardens (FoUTG) had been asked to comment by the Evening Express, although we told them we would reserve judgement until we found out more about the plans and had discussed them at our AGM, held last Saturday.

The Halliday plans achieved an amazing first in the UTG controversy: both the FoUTG and Sir Ian Wood were in agreement: Neither of us liked them.The Friends group rejected them as they meant building in the park (and once you concede the principle, when would this stop?)

Sir Ian Wood told the Evening Express on Wednesday that a car park would be the wrong use of space created by decking over the gardens. The billionaire seems to be envisaging a modified version of the original City Square Project; this description is from part of a press release that was reposted on Facebook:

“He does believe it is possible to cover the road and railway and then raise the gardens to the level of the existing arches on the west side and to the level of the raised decking over the road and railway and Belmont Street on the east.

“This would make them accessible and permeable from the adjacent streets and ensure the whole area becomes an integral part of the new city centre heart, with walk on access virtually all the way round. Some sloping topography would be respected with the level difference between Union Terrace and the arches with easy step access from Union Terrace and Rosemount Viaduct.

“The main visual features of the Victorian gardens could be maintained but as a more useable, accessible part of the city centre, helping regenerate Union Street and connecting north-south and east-west.

“For a city centre regeneration project to secure Wood Family Trust funds it must be truly transformational as described above, supported by the public and led by the City Council. If the council were to explore a development on this basis, they would be prepared to provide appropriate funding support. Hopefully a Government tax incremental financing (TIF) scheme might also be available.”

According to the Press and Journal, Sir Ian Wood was offering an ‘olive branch’ to the council in that a little dimple sitting on top of a subterranean structure could be styled as a ‘Victorian garden’.  This was in no doubt in response to Barney Crockett’s statement that whatever happens, a Victorian garden must remain in Union Terrace Gardens.

UTG Rowan

A rowan tree in Union Terrace Gardens. The rowan is believed by some to offer protection against malevolent beings.

If all the noise and breast-beating in the Aberdeen Journals were to be taken literally, the John Halliday and Sir Ian Wood plans are ostensibly the only show in town.

Less stridently mentioned are FoUTG’s modest plans to restore the park and the fact that Aberdeen Council are also working on a plan for the city centre that includes Union Terrace Gardens.

We don’t know much about these plans. They will be made public at the end of the month.

 

Suffice to say from what Barney Crockett mentioned at the Friends AGM, Robert Gordon’s University seem to have been involved in some shape of form.

Barney also repeated his statement that a Victorian garden will be present but was careful not to reveal too much detail and hinted that there could be some changes in the gardens.

It also sounds as if the idea of creating access to the railway station down from the north side of Union Bridge is in favour. It looks as if the council intends to try and build a consensus on their scheme with extensive consultation with interested parties. This is planned to include both FoUTG and Sir Ian Wood.

It remains to be seen what will happen in the current, somewhat heated, situation. The pressure is building up on the council administration.

Sir Ian Wood is making a last ditch attempt to save a version of his city square project. He is being aided in this by the one-sided support of the Aberdeen Journals, the P&J in particular being largely vociferous in his favour.

The Conservative councillors, who share the city administration with Labour and the independents, want to see what they refer to as the “transformation” of the gardens and not just round the edges either.

UTG train - Credit: Mike ShepherdOn the other hand, the Labour Group have the good will of many in the city over the act of ditching the business plan for the City Garden Project last year. They will not want to lose this.

Another factor is that council budgets are under severe pressure, not the least because the council have to find £75 million to fund the bypass. More cuts are likely in the medium to long term and it’s obvious to the dispassionate observer that an expensive city centre construction project should not be anywhere near the council’s top priority for expenditure.

A rational solution is to spend some money on improving the gardens but not a great deal. They don’t really need many millions spent on them to bring about a city centre heart that everybody can be proud of.

Unfortunately logic and reason on most things UTG flew out the window years ago. Here’s hoping common sense returns before long.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Oct 122013
 

‘The history of a nation is measured by its gains, but where will it end. The money with the power, the weapons with the firepower; they’re owned by you. You’ve heard the list of names, exactly who’s to blame, is this our land of shame.’ – Land of Shame, Kirk Brandon

Kirk Brandon, Adrian Portas, Craig Adams and Mike Kelly – all together and in the Moorings Bar.  It was delicious.  Suzanne Kelly reports, still with a smile on her face; photographs by Julie Thompson.

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen by Julie Thompson (5)

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen, 04.10.13

The music and lyrics of Spear of Destiny still resonate as powerfully today as they did when newly released. This speaks volumes about the band in a positive way – and about society and government well – less positively.
I had my SoD memories, and had hardly hoped to expect that all of the power could still be there; thirty years is a lifetime; touring with a demanding repertoire to please demanding fans is a big ask.

After all, there are so very many acts touring now simply to cash in, some with little more than a roadie’s friend’s cousin in the act to justify these so-called ‘reunion’ tours. 

Good and great reviews have greeted this Thirty Years On tour; however, this was to be the first time I’ve seen the band since Kirk Brandon was taken seriously ill in 2011 (I missed their last Aberdeen date).  I was slightly worried; happily, I needn’t have been.

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen by Julie Thompson (2)SoD was never an easy band to pigeonhole, something which the industry loves to do – package a product, put a label on it, and thrust it on the target market. Opening act The Mighty Human Generator’  was well received (I missed too much of their set to comment and they don’t usually perform acoustic, but but will make it a point to see them soon).

Eventually Mike Kelly, Adrian Portas, Craig Adams (not to be confused with Craig Adam, owner of the Moorings Bar) and Kirk Brandon take the stage.

It might have been a small stage in a modest size venue, but that made it all the more exciting and intimate.

All was going well, spectacularly in fact – but then Brandon asked everyone how they felt about the Scottish Independence referendum – and asked for a vote.

I expected chaos, fights and tears – but to my shock, the vote was split roughly in half, and that was the end of it. Back to the music then, potential riot averted.

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen by Julie Thompson (1)‘Never Take Me Alive,’ an American western-flavoured epic ending in a dramatic hail of guitar, pleased us all; everyone up front sang and danced (and what well mannered slamming it was too; perhaps we’re all just that little bit older)

‘Treachery’ is haunting and the cords evoke a Celtic/medieval music mood; it’s as magical as it ever was.  The audience, many of who didn’t know each other at the start of the night are singing ‘Treachery’ to each other towards the end of the ambitious set.

There are guitar passages in songs that I’d all but forgotten; some make me realise that a whole slew of musicians owe this band.

There are passages which I’m certain Eddie Vedder must have been influenced by.

One of the most powerful anti-war songs anyone’s every written, ‘Mickey’ has everyone singing along with every line, culminating in cries of ‘I wanna go home.’  It’s punk; it’s a ballad, it’s a protest. You’d need an awful lot of labels to label this one song, let alone label SoD.

The show ends.  Angie in the audience is awestruck, as are a couple who tell me they see SoD as often as they can.

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen by Julie Thompson (4)The mood is wonderful; stranger talks to stranger. The only person who didn’t seem to enjoy it quite as much as the rest of us is the now ubiquitous person who’s watched the set through their iphone; this phenomenon continues to baffle me.

Eventually the band members come out and mingle.  Portas, Kelly and Adams should be knackered, but are pleasant and seem genuinely pleased at the reception they’ve all had.

Against my will and my better judgment, I’ve been thinking about pop, manufactured bands, stripping singers and Cyrus and that wrecking ball these past few days. Perhaps evolution is going backwards.

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen by Julie Thompson (6)

Spear of Destiny play to a sellout crowd at The Moorings, Aberdeen.

I get to chat for a few minutes to Kirk;

I asked him about the phenomenon of  the Miley Cyrus approach to music, i.e. getting attention by stripping, riding a wrecking ball, and licking a hammer.

‘Well, it’s silly, isn’t it?’ was the main thing I remember about his response (well, it is a bit noisy).

Miley will have to endure eating and fitness regimes to try to stay young, waif-thin and wrinkle-free to sustain the kind of adoration she’s courted.

When she’s older and her raison d’etre is gone and no one cares about her music, Brandon will be able to say he wrote ‘Treachery,’ ‘Mickey,’ and plays astonishing guitar. (Given a choice, what would you rather be remembered for?). We talk about his past illness ‘I know I’m lucky’ he comments.

Spear of Destiny at The Moorings, Aberdeen by Julie Thompson (3)Topping off a night I’ll remember for quite some time to come, Flash gives some of us a tour of his beer cellar. This is a high-tech lager labour of love; temperature controlled, quality controlled casks in a spotless space.

The only thing left to add is that if you missed the sold out Spear of Destiny  Moorings show, get some people together, get a road trip organised, and get to one of the remaining shows; details here:  http://www.kirkbrandon.com/shows.

Theatre of Hate will be playing UK dates in December as well.

There is also a special limited edition CD, Thirty Years and Counting – which can be found here http://kirkbrandondotcom.bigcartel.com/

More of Julie Thompson’s photos can be found here:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladypakal/sets/72157636209512343/

Oct 112013
 

By Bob Smith.
Marcliffeentranceroad

The Marcliffe t’is closin doon
It’s gyaan tae be nae mair
Some fowk wull be sorry
Ithers jist winna care
.
Mr Spence he is  tae retire
Say’s he’s gyaan oot wi a bang
Wi lots o things tae celebrate
Wull Trump compose a sang?
.
The mannie his bin aroon
The hotel gemme fer a fyle
An naebody can argie aat
The Marcliffe his some style
.
A’ve bin ‘ere at some waddins
Wis leuk’t efter wi great care
Bit the price o a roon o drinks
Wid gie the Rockefellers a scare
.
Yet a canna help thinkin
Fit wye’s it closin doon
Cwid it nae be cairry’t on
Bi Ross, a Spencie loon?
.
The toon needs gweed hotels
O ess we’re aye bein telt
So fit wye is ess een closin?
Fit wye cwid it nae be selt?
Priced ersels oot the mairkit?
Even in ile rich Aiberdeen
We’ll nivver ken the answer
Meybe times they are mair lean
.
Wis the askin price ower muckle?
Did ess scare hoteliers aff?
Or his the roomies nae bin full
Fer tae justify aa the staff?
.
Is Mr Spence jist affa shrewd?
An he’s oot tae mak a killin?
Kennin fine aat property developers
Tae pey his price they wull be willin
.
Fin the Marcliffe it closes
Mr Spence he wull be free
Tae wanner ower tae Menie
An meet Donald on the tee
.
He micht be a Trump supporter
Bit in retiremint a wish ‘im weel
Ae thing he his fair proved,
As a hotelier, he’s nae feel
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Oct 112013
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

DictionaryAnother exciting week passes in Aberdeen. The papers were filled with interesting stories; the restaurants and bars were filled with interesting people, and the Moorings was filled with the sound of the ever interesting and intense Spear of Destiny.

The band transported everyone except for one selfie-taking troglodyte; friends and strangers alike sang ‘I wanna go home’ to each other towards the end of the set; the warm up band were also engaging. I also had a tour of the Moorings’ beer cellar. It was a high-tech, temperature controlled, immaculate beer Valhalla.

No wonder the pints are always perfect. I’ll be back.

I did a double-take when I looked at the Evening Express on the Thursday; there was Alex Salmond staring out at me, done up in a pink beret and pink sunglasses, ostensibly to draw attention to breast cancer charity. 

I thought at first someone had put Captain Sensible in the washing machine with bleach, but no it was Salmond. At the same time, the word is that some North East cancer treatments are being cut because of staff shortages.  It is great however that Alex took time out for this photo op. Perhaps later he’ll have a chance to look into cancer patients going without treatment. Nice beret, Alex.

In the courts, last week saw the usual cases of theft, drunkenness, and embezzlement; there were  a few particularly dark moments.

A newborn infant had suffered injuries – the man in the dock first said a dog attacked her, then he said he accidentally dropped her, then shook her when her eyes rolled up in her head (the rest of us would have phoned for an ambulance, but I’m sure he meant well.  Really). A doctor who testified begs to differ with the accused, and says the injuries seemed to be deliberate.

The mind boggles at that alone, but our accused has the nerve to say the doctor is lying. No doubt this baby abuser probably had a hard life, a drink/drug problem or something.

Then we have charity worker  Philip Muirhead who believes charity definitely begins at home; he stole money from three vulnerable pensioners, and scarpered when he was found out, skipping town. His defence attorney says his mental state has deteriorated these past months he’s been on the run with the older peoples’ cash.

It’s a funny prison system we have in this country

Perhaps it’s just his conscious is bothering him, or maybe we should pool together for a collection for him to help him out; I’m sure you feel as sorry for him as I do. (No word on how the pensioners who trusted this man are feeling; I’m sure they’re fine).

And finally in Danestone, a hit and run quad bike rider ran over a dog which later had to be put down; and the biker just kept going. Perhaps he didn’t notice that he’d struck and injured a collie. A 25 year-old man was later charged; I hope this ordeal won’t be too upsetting for him.

Some of the above may wind up with custodial sentences,  and it’s a funny prison system we have in this country. Prison offers many vocation opportunities; younger offenders can learn new skills from experienced career criminals; people who have mental and emotional problems are locked up, which no doubt does them good.

The Sun newspaper’s recent headline let us know that many murders were committed by people with mental illness. I remember well the Birmingham incident – a young girl was stabbed on a bus by a man with mental health problems.

His family had repeatedly asked the NHS for health and warned officials he was a danger.  I guess they had other things to do than look into the health of the man.

I also remember the man in Aberdeen some years back who committed suicide; he’d asked for help; his friends and family had asked for help, no help could be found. Old Susannah has a rather radical thought – let’s help these people at the first sign of trouble and rather than prison being the answer following a tragedy, early health care just might be a better solution.

Also in the news this week is the lovely Myley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana.

The right of the devoutly religious to wear a niquab isn’t called into question

I remember thinking ‘music doesn’t get any better than this’ when her dad released the seminal anthem ‘achey breaky heart’ – but I was wrong. No one can caper with dwarves or lick a hammer like Myley; and it’s all just her creativity coming to the fore (in case  you thought it was some cynical marketing exercise).

Ms Cyrus has every right to express herself. This week Old Susannah’s considering Myley’s rights and the rights of those who wind up in trouble with the law.  With that, it’s time for some definitions.

Religious Freedom: (modern English compound phrase) – the right to practice a religion; a human right.

Embezzlement seems to be the new crime of choice, but do pity poor Ms Shaheda Lorgat.  She’d borrowed a few pounds from the taxpayer, but hadn’t had time to ask in advance, and  helped herself to about £21K.  When caught out and sent to court, she turned up in a niquab.

The right of the devoutly religious to wear a niquab isn’t called into question, but what made Ms Lorgat’s case special is that, er, she didn’t wear one before she had to be photographed for her crime.  She wore a headscarf on her Facebook page; she went about her neighbourhood without a niquab as well.  Funny how getting caught doing a crime can make some people find god.

Alas!  She was forced to appear in court and be photographed with her whole face showing . You could almost be forgiven for thinking she was trying to hide her identity as  a talented thief. As it was put by Shaista Gohir, chair of the Muslim Women’s Network UK:-

“I would find it difficult to support that [wearing a niquab] if she is found guilty.  If she has committed a crime, she’s clearly not following her faith anyway.”  – Metro, 19 September 2013

– Hmm. perhaps Ms Gohir has a point.

Then we have another group of people whose religious freedoms are likewise being challenged when they face jail. There aren’t that many Sikhs locked up in Scottish prisons, but those who do get sent down are being denied their religious freedom: we’re not letting them have ceremonial knives.
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/433120/EXCLUSIVE-Kenny-MacAskill-plans-blades-in-jail-after-Sikh-faith-pleas

many are deciding that going without a blade is not an option

Thankfully that nice Kenny MacAskill MSP is doing something about this intolerable situation, and is meeting with Sikh leaders to see what we can do to help these poor chaps.

Not only aren’t the prisons letting prisoners have knives (or slightly duller ceremonial blades), the authorities actually making visiting Sikh priests leave their daggers behind when they speak to prisoners.

Rightly, many are deciding that going without a blade is not an option, so they won’t visit prisons instead.

I can’t see what the big deal is; it’s not as if there is a knife crime problem in Scotland, and I’m sure the prison guards will be able to ensure no one is ever injured by a knife.

Expect large numbers of religious conversions among prison populations if this goes through.

Artistic Freedom: (compound English noun) the right / need for a creative person to practice their craft unhindered.

Isn’t it wonderful that little Hannah Montana is now Myley Cyrus? Her dad’s proud of her, too, and had this to say to his daughter:-

“You can’t count on somebody in a suit and a high-rise in New York to tell you what the chemistry is for you as an artist; you have to figure that out yourself. Your daddy spent almost 20 years trying to find what that thing is to bring you out of the eclipse of a monster.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/Billy-Ray-reveals-admiration-daughter-Miley

It’s just too bad that a few women performers are unhappy with Myley’s exploits.  Annie Lennox and Sinead O’Connor have both weighed in on the wrecking ball riding, hammer-licking Myley.  Lennox said on Facebook:-

“I have to say that I’m disturbed and dismayed by the recent spate of overtly sexualised performances and videos. You know the ones I’m talking about. It seems obvious that certain record companies are peddling highly styled pornography with musical accompaniment.

“As if the tidal wave of sexualised imagery wasn’t already bombarding impressionable young girls enough.. I believe in freedom of speech and expression, but the market forces don’t give a toss about the notion of boundaries. As long as there’s booty to make money out of, it will be bought and sold. It’s depressing to see how these performers are so eager to push this new level of low.

“Their assumption seems to be that misogyny- utilised and displayed through oneself is totally fine, as long as you are the one creating it. As if it’s all justified by how many millions of dollars and U tube hits you get from behaving like pimp and prostitute at the same time. It’s a glorified and monetized form of self harm.”

It’s a sad state of affairs when a young talented singer is ganged up on, just for expressing herself. If she had to escape from the Hannah Montana personality she’d portrayed by getting her kit off, I’m sure it was her choice alone.

I can practically hear her record company and management pleading with her not to use sex to sell herself, devaluing her musical currency in the process, but good for her for sticking up for her artistic vision.  (Of course, if she hadn’t signed up for the lucrative Hannah Montana work in the first place and had done her own music from the start, maybe she wouldn’t have to work so hard to escape the image she and her team created, but there you go).

I just wonder what she’ll be doing in her next video

Perhaps if Annie and Sinead were younger and sexier, they wouldn’t have to rely on singing, songwriting and activism to get their music sold.  I guess it was a different world in those days; people writing music, sometimes even playing  instruments.  Thank goodness for progress.

In 30 years’ time, people will still come from miles around to look at – sorry listen to – Myley perform live;  no doubt ‘Sweet Dreams’ and ‘Nothing Compares 2U’ will be long forgotten.

It’s not that long ago that Suffragettes fought for the right of women to vote; Malala was shot in the head for wanting an education; women and girls are being sold into forced marriages; and women still don’t earn equal pay for equal work. With women like Myley expressing themselves against this backdrop, I know the future is in great hands. I just wonder what she’ll be doing in her next video.

Her supporters say this:-

“Separate the songs from the lick-happy clips, though, and they’re solid ballads. “We Can’t Stop” is a call-to-arms for a younger generation, a reminder to older people that, fortunately or unfortunately, life is like an ever-flowing river; these kids with their Molly and their pasties will be our age soon, just as we were once where they are. And “Wrecking Ball” is a modern day “My Heart Will Go On,” a song about love lost and found, but also about—again—the idea of youth burning hard and fast and then fading away.”http://www.avclub.com/articles/miley-cyrus-bangerz,103885/

 Perhaps I’m being too hard on the girl; no doubt she’ll still be as proud of the music she didn’t write as Led Zeppelin is of their work when they were her age. As for the idea that ‘Wrecking Ball is a modern day ‘My Heart Will Go On,’ why yes, I believe it is.  I’m sure you loved ‘Heart’ as much as I did.

Autobiography: (English noun) The story of a person’s life as told or written by themselves.

By now we’ll all have rushed out to by the exciting autobiography by former spin doctor and right hand man to Gordon  Brown, Damian McBride. McBride’s book tells of his time working for Prime Minister Brown, setting the moral tone, doing what was right, and leading by example. Here’s an extract, with a few comments from me in square brackets:-

“We could lose power for a generation. ‘Après moi, le déluge’ always has a persuasive effect, even when people are bloody sick of the ‘moi’. [so nothing pretentious there then]

“I helped this process by briefing the hacks hard that David Miliband and Harriet Harman were already on manoeuvres: Miliband courting wealthy donors to fund his leadership campaign, Harriet touring the bars of Warwick talking about her ‘moment’.

“At that point, it didn’t matter whether either thing was true, which neither was; [basically make up any lie that suits you to hold power is an acceptable path]  what mattered was that people heard the drumbeats of a Labour civil war. 

“When I was hurriedly spreading my mischief [one person’s ‘mischief’ is another person’s lie] about Miliband and Harriet the weekend of the Warwick conference, I wouldn’t lie outright; I’d just point a journalist in an erroneous direction by asking a question: ‘Are you hearing this rumour about Miliband asking Lord Levy to bankroll his campaign? Won’t that be a massive story?’” [well done Damian]
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/Damian-McBride-reveals-spread-poison

The most impressive thing is that McBride is clearly proud of what he did. Some might say that in a perfect world,
a) he’d have been stopped at the time from his activities,
b) he’d have been too embarrassed to confess to being a sleaze in his book,
c) he’d be being investigated by the police, and,
d) decent media wouldn’t promote his book and no one would buy it.

But it seems that if there is money out there from telling the world you’ve been a sneak and a bully, or money to be made by taking your clothes off and sitting on a wrecking ball, singing someone else’s material, there’s no shame in it. The world wants to buy, and it seems where there is muck, there’s people with the brass to turn it into gold.

Next week – more on the closure of the Marcliffe; a Trump update, and whatever else comes up.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Oct 112013
 

Julie Thompson shares her experience as a fledgling music photographer, and a few of her pictures of Johnny Marr and support act, Meredith Sheldon at The Garage, Aberdeen on 9 October 2013.

Johnny Marr by Julie Thompson (2)

Sitting waiting patiently in the photo pit for former Smith Johnny Marr to come onstage, I thought back to the time when I wondered just how people got in here.

Now I know. Sometimes it’s luck, sometimes it’s who you know, sometimes who you shoot for. For those at the top of the game, it’s what they can do. Me, I’m just starting out.

Now I know, that having acquired that prized photo-pass, you get the first three songs in the pit and then you’re kicked out. If you don’t get what you need in that brief window of opportunity, tough.

Often, like today, you may not even find out if you have access until a few hours before. I got my pass confirmation e-mail only this morning, for a gig with doors open at seven this evening.

Sometimes you get to the venue only to find your name is not on the list after all. That was not my fate today; I collected my pass and headed into The Garage, formerly Moshulu, on Windmill Brae.

I arrived a little after 1900 and the place was almost deserted. As I’d not been here before it gave me a chance to find my bearings without fighting through crowds.

Meredith Sheldon2 by Julie ThompsonBe aware, if you need to find the bathroom here, DO NOT leave it until the last minute. It’s a fight to get there when the place is full and the only puddles we want to see on this floor are puddles of spilt beer.

I bumped into a fellow tog and we headed down for the support act.

We had the pit to ourselves to photograph a gorgeous young American lady, Meredith Sheldon. The camera loves this lassie and she was a pleasure to shoot.

Playing lead guitar accompanied by a bass guitarist, a floor-length skirt pointed out to us that she was a girl playing rock guitar who supported The Lemonheads on a previous tour.

Three songs later and we left. The odd thing about this game is that you don’t tend to hear the music while you’re shooting. It can be quite intense in the pit.

You don’t have long to warm up, figure out your camera settings and get the shots you want.

Meredith Sheldon by Julie ThompsonEver-changing lighting can be a challenge, very dim lighting a nightmare. No flashguns are allowed in the pit, after all.

Things outside had changed in that time; many more people had arrived, but the place wasn’t really busy yet. We grabbed a drink and listened to the rest of Meredith’s set.

Having finally got a chance to listen to her, I decided that she’s good. You can find samples of her music on her website and she’s worth a listen.

A photographer from a local newspaper arrives, so there will be three of us in the pit for Johnny Marr.

It’s a good-sized pit, not overly deep but with enough room for moving around. Sometimes the pits can be challenging, as the order you enter is the order you stay in, not ideal for getting different angles.

This venue has early start times for live music and quick turn-around between bands, mainly due to the fact that it’s used as a late-night clubbing venue after 2230, so we headed back to the pit to wait. We weighed up the new microphone layout on stage and picked a start point.

Johnny Marr by Julie ThompsonAs sitting on each other’s knees is a no-no, the prime position is usually grabbed by the first one into the pit. As the time progresses we will all take turns in the different spots, so it’s no biggie.

I did a final mental check on camera settings, grabbed a quick photo of the set list and shot some tests of the crew as they made last minute adjustments to the equipment on stage.

The tension was worse than waiting for your exams to start in school.

What went through my mind, when Johnny Marr and his band first came onstage?

‘Wow, it’s gone very dark. What’s that flash? Oh, it’s a strobe. I can’t focus on anything here… it’s going to be a disaster!’

Then the stage lights came on and we were away.

_87A9600The time flew by and all too soon we were being ushered out of the area. The place was packed by this point; it was a sell-out.

I grabbed a drink and then did some chimping* at the back of the venue.

I finally got a chance to listen to the rest of the set without seeing much. One of the hazards of getting pit access is that you usually get a crap view later on.

Between songs, Johnny was complimentary of Aberdeen as he’d apparently had a wander during the day and liked the place.

Johnny Marr by Julie Thompson (3)The crowd was jumping and as we reached the last few songs the place erupted as some old favourites rang out, including an excellent cover of I Fought The Law.

Out into the night, it was hissing down, I popped into Drummonds for a quick look at a new venue to me.

I’ll be shooting Catfish and the Bottlemen there on Friday.

*Chimping – looking at the pics on the back of your camera and going ‘oo oo’ when you see a good one.

More photos:

Johnny Marr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladypakal/sets/72157636386073343/

Meredith Sheldon: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladypakal/sets/72157636386410513/


Johnny Marr Set List (for those who like that sort of thing)

Upstarts

Panic

Right Thing Right

Sun and Moon

Crack Up

Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before

New Town Velocity

The Messenger

Lockdown

Say Demesne

Bigmouth Strikes Again

Generate! Generate!

Word Starts Attack

I Want The Heartbeat

How Soon Is Now?

———————–

Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want

The It Switch

I Fought The Law

Getting Away With It

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

 

Oct 112013
 

The other week, Scottish Energy Minister Fergus Ewing caused a bit of a fuss by stating that the road system in Aberdeen was ‘an embarrassment and the worst in Scotland’. With his eyes firmly on the road ahead, our man in the driving seat, Fin Hall continues.

Taxis. Credit: Fred WilkinsonBarney Crockett, whose name incidentally comes up as Blarney with spell checker,
was outraged at these comments.

And rightly so, since it is the Scottish Government who has overall responsibility for the trunk roads in the country.

Meanwhile, MSP Lewis MacDonald, whilst agreeing with Mr Ewing, points out that the SNP government hasn’t started the AWPR despite almost 12 months having passed since the last stage of the appeal was heard.

Aberdeenshire Council member, Jim Gifford, also has a go at the Scottish Government over the lack of money that has been spent on NE roads.

All of these points are potentially valid, but the whole thing does smack of political point-scoring.

For a start, the Labour-led council has very short memories. It was the current incumbents’ predecessors who, for many a short-sighted year, publicly stated that we did not need a bypass, and actively encouraged us to take public transport, walk, or ride a bike. This was despite the fact that councillors themselves refused to do so stating that they, ‘…needed their cars to attend meetings all over the city’.

Oh, and the rest of us don’t, eh?

Funnily enough, the man at the head of this campaign, rejecting common sense, was one George Kirbride. At the time he was not an elected official, but a very opinionated civil servant, a man whose salary was paid by we tax payers.

He actively encouraged us all to cycle everywhere just as he did, because he didn’t drive. He wanted to build cycle lanes all over the city, the first one being out Cults way, which was apparently where he stayed. This futile example of a cycle way, is a mere white line painted around 18″ from the kerb, with no vehicle parking restrictions, thus totally negating its usefulness. It stopped around Mannofield.

NE drivers must surely be amongst the worst in the country

When all is said and done, the AWPR will not be a panacea in curing all traffic ills, and although it will certainly stop a vast volume of southbound and northbound traffic coming into the city, it will not make Aberdeen an idyllic, peaceful, fresh air city.

Much of the frustration and many problems in this part of the world are caused by the state of the traffic system, but drivers must take a goodly share of the blame. NE drivers must surely be amongst the worst in the country. Just check out the annual fatality list.

Indicators seem to be an added extra on most cars purchased up here, and lane discipline at roundabouts leaves a lot to be desired.

As for no entry signs and one way streets, forget about them.

Go down Stirling Street any day and you’ll see cars going down the street rather than travel 12 feet further along and travel down Exchange Street, the proper way. I have even seen a police car do this, and no, its blue lights were not flashing.

On these streets it is not uncommon to see cars parked facing the wrong way, as the owners know that City Wardens have the remit to book only vehicles parked outwith the parking zones, not parked in them facing the wrong way.

The police, in line with their budget cuts, pay absolutely no heed, thus perpetrating the vicious circle of irresponsibility.

The road saga is indicative of attitudes in modern society. As well as living in a world where blame culture predominates, we are now developing a parallel world, possibly blame culture’s twin – the idea that it is always someone else’s responsibility to get something done, rather than getting up off your backside and doing it yourself.

The AWPR will not solve the ills of the truly inadequate road system in the area, but it will surely assist in lessening congestion slightly. Provided that is, that the powers-that-be stop designating short cuts as rat runs and sticking road humps all over the place, forcing traffic on to already over-populated roads.

And stop passing the buck, just fix it.

Drivers need to stop thinking that the rules of the road are for everyone else and not for them, or that rules are in place to make your life awkward, rather than to help traffic flow swiftly and, above all, SAFELY!

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Oct 042013
 

For some semi-pro musicians, it’s not unusual for the phone to buzz on Thursday night and the conversation to go along the lines of,

“Davie min….”

“Aye?”

“Got a gig the morn?”

“No, Saturday at The Cragshannoch, Sunday at The Argo”.

“Can you fill in with us at The Bilermakers? Cash in hand, start at 9 o’clock, after the bingo”.

“Aye, go on then, send me your set list. Keys will help. Is Shake Rattle and Roll still in bloody Bb to accommodate your sax player?”

BuskerDave Innes reflects, from fraught experience, on such rattlings and rollings as he flicks through the pages of Graham Forbes’ Rock And Roll Busker.

It was ever thus. Busking, you see, is not solely the preserve of the Oasis-obsessed fellow outside John Lewis’s, or of the tasteful Eastern European accordionist flourishing the bellows in St Nicholas Street.

Busking, to those in the know, is playing along brazen frontedly, with songs you half-know without anything as decadent as a rehearsal, making an intuitive contribution, often taking a leap of faith with chords or fingering, and always having the fallback default option of “muffled E” if you’re a bass player.

This is a seat of the pants world where bum notes are ‘jazz licks’ and mis-timed cues are ‘a bit of funk syncopation’. Audiences never notice. Sssssshhh….

That’s where the yarns in Graham Forbes’s third book will chime with jobbing musos, who share the author’s obsession with playing to an audience, not for the cash but for the buzz that only live performance can impart.

Glaswegian by birth, Forbes grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, when, if players were prepared to travel, they could be playing live every night. As well as traversing Scotland with a series of bands of rock n roll misfits, semi-alcoholic soulmen and cabaret tearaways, Forbes played in a credible line-up of the Incredible String Band and on sessions by household names.

Beyond this, however, his desire was always just to turn up, plug in and rock out.

The associated tales are hilarious, fascinating, and will ring true with anyone who experienced those crazy days and their financially-meagre but often otherwise hedonistically-satisfying rewards, destroyed forever by pub DJs and bloody karaoke.

Forbes is forthright, opinionated and passionate. Those he loves and respects are described affectionately, but he reserves harsh words and a fine level of splenetic disdain for money-obsessed managers, lazy, unreliable band members, young acts concerned only with record deals and for music stands onstage. He likes 1950s valve amplifiers, tanned, long-legged American girls, mountaineering, Fenders and skiing.

As he brings Rock And Roll Busker up to date, he divides his time between Florida and Glasgow, always on the lookout for a gig, whether for the well-heeled in the humid clubs of Saratosa, or the formica-chic of Paisley’s Patter Bar offering punters a few hours respite from the grim deprivation of life in the put-upon West of Scotland. Accounts of his experiences in these starkly-diverse situations show that his love affair with entertaining has diminished none.

My favourite rock n roll books are Deke Leonard’s twin behemoths Maybe I Should’ve Stayed In Bed? and Winos, Rhinos and Lunatics. Rock And Roll Busker is every bit as entertaining and nostalgic and has earned the right to be slotted in next to those seminal tomes on my bookshelves.

ROCK AND ROLL BUSKER
Graham Forbes
(MCNIDDER & GRACE) 
282 pp

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Oct 042013
 

Be quiet, my friend. You can't tell my secrets.By Bob Smith.

The NHS lot are glaikit
PC  is on the loose
Faimily doctor or elderly
Is wirds they winna use 

Banned fae NHS bitties o paper
In case they cause offence
Fa thocht up iss bliddy crap
Is mair than a bittie dense 

PC is on the mairch
It affects noo aa wir lives
Seems wi jist hiv pairtners
Nae bidie-ins or wives 

Nursery rhymes hiv bin affected
Is baa baa black sheep noo taboo?
Wid baa baa little sheep
Be aaricht wi the P.C crew? 

The warld it his fair geen gyte
“Gyaan tae the dogs” comes tae myn
Meybe a canna use ess phrase?
In case a offend some puir canine 

Are wi tae be PC or nae PC?
Aat’s the question wi maan ask
Is’t time wi kick’t some erses
An took PC buggers tae task 

So awa aa ye PC gomerils
Free fae havers wid be bliss
Onymair  o yer glaikit ideas
An a’m sure tae tak the piss

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013