Dec 242013
 

ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas and all through the Deen
Nae een were stirrin, ye ken fit Ah mean?

ACSEF members were nestled all smug in their beds
Visions of brown envelopes danced in their heids
Lady Helen in her kerchief, and Sir Ian in his cap
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap

When out on their lawn there arose such a clatter
Ian sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to his window, he flew like a flash
Hoping no one would try robbing his cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of granite to objects below
When what to Sir Ian’s beady eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer:

“There’s no right of access to land near my home
“I’ve got lots of money so you’ve no right to roam!”

Twas a little old man with a red suit and beard
“Could this be a communist?” Ian Wood feared.
Santa approached, getting out of his sled
Turning to Ian, this is what he said:-
Christmas

“Perhaps greed and age have made you grow thick
“For as any fool knows I am St Nick.
“I’ve come to the Deen to reward the good
“On second thoughts I could skip you, Ian Wood.”

“The thing is, with the greedy things that you do
“I just don’t think that I can believe in you.”

At this Ian faltered – he so wanted presents:
“Hold on now Santa, I’m not one of the peasants.
“Let’s talk for a moment so I can explain
“How you can maximise your capital gain.”

“Pay your elves’ wages from an offshore tax haven
“Hoots Santa – think of the dosh you’d be savin’.
“Perhaps you should start a ‘Claus Family Trust,
“And there’s ‘Venture Philanthropy’ – yes, that’s a must.”

“No taxes to pay and you’ll save lots of money
“Stop giving away gifts for free – it’s not funny,”
“Just because poor people put up a tree
“Doesn’t mean you should give gifties for free.”

Santa sighed, saying “Thank you indeed Ian Wood
Christmas“I think though that you just might be up to no good.
“If you paid your taxes, if you weren’t so greedy
“I dare say that others might not be so needy.”

“I’ll bid you good night; I’ll say no more.”
“But do say hello to your close friend, Mrs Craw.”

Donner, the lead deer, was slightly perplexed
“Well Santa, which house will we fly to next?”
“Let’s go to the Milne house since we are quite near.”
And off flew St Nick, the elves and the deer.

“Santa, this heated driveway is quite nice,
“It’s totally clear of all snow and all ice.”
Stewart Milne’s ‘eco’ house had some curious features
This driveway was welcome to Santa’s cold creatures.

“Just one gift for Stew, here, do have a wee look”
St Nick was clutching a nice brand new book
“What is it called?” asked a curious elf
“Football for beginners” – Santa laughed to himself.

“I don’t know that Stewart kens much o the game
“He cares more for money, still all the same
“In the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of Yule
Christmas“This book may help him ken the offside rule.”

Away the deer flew with the sled full of gifts
“Hey,” Comet said, “D’ye ken Milne wears lifts?”
All the deer laughed until it was clear
That towards Aileen Malone’s house they were drawing near.

“Don’t be afraid of that witch” Santa said
“Who as we know had your comrades shot dead
“Deer, if anyone needed the loo,
“We’re over Malone’s house. Yes I think this will do.”

Over Malone’s roof they arrived in a twinkling,
And soon every reindeer and elf started tinkling.
“There are those politicians who will tell you, by heck
“that really it’s raining as they pee down your neck.”

“So do your business – relieve yourselves here.
“In memory of 36 Tullos Hill deer.”

The deer did their business and some of them tittered
“With only 5 LibDems she must be embittered.
“At the election her side got quite trounced.
“Change course for the Bates’!” St Nick announced.”

ChristmasAnd soon Santa stood on the Malone-Bates roof
“No wonder that these newlyweds were so aloof
“No news in the press of their marriage was blurted
“To ensure their financial interests weren’t hurted.”

Perfect gifts for these lovebirds Santa had found;
Down their chimney Santa jumped with a bound.

But just as our Santa started to speak
He was scared by a monster which started to shriek.

Santa stared at the thing which wore a night gown
Could this be some kind of a beast or a clown?
Its hair was in rollers, its eyes were cucumbers
Its face was green mud: “You interrupted my slumbers!”

“You’ve got ash on my carpet! Turn around and get out!”
The hideous thing did shriek and did shout.
Santa twigged who it was, she normally looked fairer
It was ‘The Face of the Deen’, the lovely bride Sarah:

“In order for my great beauty to keep
“I need many hours of deep beauty sleep.”
“Oh Sorry,” said Santa, “my fair beauty queen
“I ken now why you are the Face of the Deen.”
Christmas

“From me you will not hear any further peep
“Clearly you’re behind on your beauty sleep
“I’ve just some small gifts for you two then I’ll go
“Back to my sleigh outside in the snow.”

“I’m amazed at the way you two work close together
“Let’s hope that there won’t be any stormy weather
“Like when the course fell into the North Sea last year
“And the cold’s perhaps wrinkled your sweet face my dear.”

Sarah said, “I’ve got an old man and he gives me  presents,
“My beautiful face put me above other peasants
“He pays me to run the world’s greatest course”
(Mrs Bates showed  not even a sign of remorse).

“Well then Sarah, I’ve two little gifties for you
“A gallon of wrinkle cream, och aye the noo,
“And a book you should read , it’s called ‘Golf can be fun”
(For she hadn’t a clue when all said and done).

“No need to thank me, I’m just here to serve
“And I do think you have got the gifts you deserve.”
As the sleigh left, its bells made a sweet tinkle
Sarah ran to the mirror to check on her wrinkle.
Christmas

“All these liars and cheats, they do make me cross
“But let’s pay a visit to Sarah  Bates’ boss”
The elves were astounded- “Santa don’t be a chump”
Santa answered “I do have one giftie for Trump.”

Donald was home, counting his money
And planning a trip to somewhere quite sunny:
“Where can I go next to get a good thrill
“With lions and tigers and bears I can kill?”

The Donald thought people loved him – the great hunter
But everyone thought: ‘what a horrible c*nt’ – (Er,
sorry ‘bout the language but thinking of him
Makes my blood pressure rise and me head start to spin).

The Don said “I built this course for my auld Scottish Nanny”
St Nick replied “Now just you listen here, mannie
“I’ve got a list of who’s nice and who’s naughty
“Or arrogant, scheming deceptive and haughty.
“No gift for you – no ifs, ands or buts
“But please take a voucher –it’s for ‘Supercuts’.”

Izon Security arrived on the spot
They’d been spying on locals – they do that a lot:
Christmas“Get out of that sleigh and let’s see your ID!”
Santa replied: “Are you talking to me?”

“Get stuffed you great b*stards” Santa said with a hiss
“Has the right to roam been reduced to this?
“You’ve no right to spy or to hassle good folk
“And this golf course is really one heck of a joke.”

With a jingle of bells St Nick and his team
Flew over the Great Dunes of North Aberdeen
“Come on deer and elves, there are good folk in need
“The ones who are victims of all this crass greed.

“The ones who are teachers and nurses and such
“They get paid very little yet do very much
“The children who don’t have enough food to eat
“Aberdeen may be rich, but some live on the street.”

“There are people who help the sick and the poor
“Some help animals too, and of this I am sure
“Those who help others with no thought of themselves
“They are the real saints, the real Santas and elves.”

Santa and his team spent the rest of their night
Giving out presents to good folks’ delight.
ChristmasAsk yourselves this “Am I naughty or nice?”
If you’re a bad one, take some advice.

Flaunting your wealth, and harming others
Ruins the chance that we have to be brothers
If you can help, then you should get stuck in
Greed, don’t you know is a terrible sin.

It’s never too late to fight the good fight
Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

– Suzanne Kelly

– . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . – . –

Picture – Christmas Tree Baubles

Credit: Ian Britton. Freefoto.com
http://www.freefoto.com/download/90-04-66/Christmas-Tree-Baubles

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Nov 212013
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

DictionaryTally Ho!  Another exciting, fun-filled, vibrant, dynamic and connectivity-laden exciting week’s gone by in Aberdeen.

Lots of action at BrewDog this past week, with a few tastings, new products, and interesting visitors. I spent some time with my favourite Scottish film director who was there for a bite and a beer.

Earlier in the week a newlywed couple and small wedding party lit the bar up; it was a pleasure to see the happy couple, and all happiness to them

Animal charities Mrs Murray’s Home for Cats and Dogs and Willows threw fundraisers; they and other charities such as Blaikiewells Horse Sanctuary and The New Ark need support as the cold weather, feed costs and animal abandonments all get worse.

This winter will be tough on everyone, especially our older residents and those facing financial hardships.  The VSA can point you in the direction of how to help.

It will be a pretty bleak winter and future for Scotland’s deer.

Scientists are lecturing estate managers on killing does and hinds, and organisations such as SNH (Shootin’ ‘n’ Huntin’ to give it its full title) want to wipe out up to half of Scotland’s deer, much to animal lovers and estate managers dismay. SNH wants powers to turn its deer guidelines into enforceable laws so they can go onto any land they like and demand deer culls.

We did see that coming. Estate managers argue the SNH has its figures wrong and they see firsthand what the deer populations are like, and no additional cull is needed. Who are you going to believe – empire-building, jumped up power-hungry government mandarins, or people who see deer daily? Why the government, of course – when have they ever steered us wrong?

On the other hand ‘Wildlife’ charity (???)  Scottish Wildlife Trust want to wipe deer out in order to help Scotland meet its wholly arbitrary (and very high) CO2 management goals. It’s all those deer driving around in cars on their own rather than taking the bus that’s polluting our air you see.

Between the Wildlife trust charities wanting to blast deer rather than protecting them, and the Forestry Commission wanting to turn forest land into windfarm sites, it’s a wonder we have any wildlife left at all. Deer are also being blamed for the demise of the Capercaillie, the decline of which has nothing to do with loss of habitat, pollution, human activities, fencing, etc.

Also hard up this winter will be our very own Stewart Milne

Perhaps for festive Christmas cards we should replace any scenes of deer in forests with wind turbines, guns, boffins, and Aileen Malone. Funny, you don’t hear that much of HoMalone these days, but rest assured, she is remembered for her work on Tullos Hill, culling deer.

Also hard up this winter will be our very own Stewart Milne. His company is posting a loss (again).

No doubt once people snap up his new houses by the Cove Bay roundabout and electricity substation overlooking the dual carriageway, he’ll be back to his 7 course meals in the Marcliffe (before it is turned into a much-needed office complex instead).

In the news this week, Audit Scotland reports there may be arguments and problems in the council – this shocking claim has caught everyone by surprise. Willie Young will be posing for photos with Callum McCaig for a joint Christmas card, to disprove the rumours of infighting.

At least the current crew of councillors aren’t flogging property off for a song and shutting down needed services like the past lot did. If some people seem to be coming to blows I’m sure it’s actually just good-natured horseplay (although from what my sources tell me, this can get a bit rough).

Of course it is only the elected officials who are the problem; it has nothing to do with staff and officers, who all get along famously.

Finally in the news, Hull has won ‘City of Culture 2017’ over Dundee. The judges had some interesting things to say about the Aberdeen bid, which can be found here. Perhaps a few definitions on ‘lacks cohesion’ and ‘deliverability’ are called for.

Gone with the Windfarm / Storm in a Toilet

No story was bigger though than the Trump Court of Session windfarm trial. It’s even bigger than the Evening Express’ exclusive that city council gardeners are storing tools in the otherwise unused and lockable Union Terrace Gardens toilets. The gardeners gave up their own personal time to help with many events in the gardens held by many groups.

Clearly, the Evening Express and the city council would have preferred them to be doing important things like moving old paint cans out of the loos instead.

it’s in such a poor state those who might want to buy it aren’t allowed in to see it

There has already been a flood of argument on this subject on Facebook, but for those who are worried about the heritage of our city and its listed buildings, perhaps turning an eye towards Westburn House might be a more appropriate way to channel energies for those who are worried about Aberdeen’s built heritage.

This great building is Grade A listed, it’s on the market, and it’s in such a poor state those who might want to buy it aren’t allowed in to see it, which is something of a drawback.

Old Susannah hears the city’s own engineers don’t want to set foot in it either. No word on whether any rakes or paintbrushes are inside Westburn. Perhaps it’s time to take stock of all the listed properties in the City’s care, and get them up to scratch.

Anyway, Trump in his generosity is even willing to selflessly get involved in whether or not Shetland will get more wind turbines; as an American billionaire (or should that be racketeer?), of course his ideas about Scottish energy generation are essential.

As mentioned, that champion of social justice Donald Trump is bravely demanding his rights in the Court of Session. What are his concerns? They can be summarised as:

  • fighting for his right to have his views to sea unspoiled.
  • fighting for his right to stop unnecessary, unattractive overdevelopment at the expense of the environment.
  • fighting against the government helping and advising special interest groups achieve their ends.
  • ensuring all existing laws of the land are respected in Scotland.
  • fighting the fact that no-one came to the golf course to see first hand what the visual impact would be of the dreaded offshore turbines.

What a guy. You’d expect such noble aims from a man with his own, brand-new, family crest, wouldn’t you? Anyone suggesting that this is hypocrisy taken to a whole new level is just jealous of Donald.

Word is that Susan Munro is baking him a bund-shaped cake

It would churlish to suggest he, in some way, is getting a dose of his own medicine or his just desserts. It’s time we gave credit to the man for everything he’s done to us – sorry, for us.

Word is that Susan Munro is baking him a bund-shaped cake as a consolation gift, and that David and Moira Milne have invited him up for a drink to look out from Hermit Point past the dying Trump-planted trees to see just how bad the windfarms will be. I may send a bottle of Glenfiddich, if he’s not named Top Scot of the year.

In celebration of all things Trump, and as a gesture of solidarity for the wigged one, Old Susannah considered flying to Africa, killing some water buffalo and elephants, stopping for a few selfies, and flying out again. As there were no suitable private jets with gold-plated taps available, I opted instead for offering a little true or false quiz.

First and Second prize will be a pint of BrewDog; last prize is a pad of genuine Trump logo notepaper, and a photo of Sarah Malone, aka Mrs Damian Bates. Send in your guesses to competition@aberdeenvoice.com.

True or False Quiz

1.  Susan Munro and residents of Leyton Cottage have had their view of the sea removed by a mound of earth Trump plunked yards from their home without any planning permission. No site visit was ever made to consider the impact of the bunds.  This is acceptable.

2.  Donald Trump’s golf course was not visited when consideration of an offshore windfarm miles away was planned and his permission was not sought. This is unacceptable.

3.  No one should have to look at offshore wind turbines when they’re playing a round of £200 per game golf at Trump Golf Links International Scotland.

4.  Trump had advice from government quango Scottish Enterprise worth at least £30,000.

5.  It was completely wrong for the government to give advice to pro windfarm groups.

6.  Trump wined and dined with two First Ministers and Jack Swinney of Scottish Enterprise when he was seeking to build his golf complex at Menie. This did not in any way indicate undue influence for a live planning application.

7.  Trump’s aide was present at the Marcliffe Hotel (beneficiary of the ‘Trump Effect’, soon to be turned into office buildings and its grounds destroyed) when a call was made about Trump’s application to the Shire council, which rightly raised a few eyebrows.

8.  Trump told the media he’d been promised permission for his golf complex by the government; he released this after he had a spat with Salmond over the windfarms.

9.  It was OK for the government and Scottish Enterprise to favour the Trump course. It is not OK for anyone to favour windfarms that golfers might have to look at.

10.  Trump is bringing billions of pounds into our fragile economy, has made us all wealthy, and therefore we should do as he says.

11.  Trump is implicated in the US in racketeering for his ‘Trump University’ scheme.

10.  There is nothing at all contradictory or hypocritical in any part of Trump’s legal actions against the windfarms and the government.

Do send in your entries. In case of a tie, here is the tie-breaker question:-

“I support Donald Trump and all he’s done for Scotland because……   “

We’ll leave it there for now; good luck with the quiz, and next week – more definitions.

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Nov 212013
 

TaxifeatFrom the comfort of the driving seat, taxi driver Fin Hall offers a street level view at issues affecting transport and infrastructure in Aberdeen.

The present incumbents of the council chambers show no sign of letting up in their pursuit of power and control, while making the city look ridiculous.

They started off as soon as they won the election by overturning the result of the UTG referendum, and yes, I know the weighted arguments behind it, and I would have voted “no” if I had been eligible to vote.

Then they continued by overturning almost every decision that the previous city leaders had implemented.

One of these was the building of the replacement stadium for Aberdeen Football Club at Loirston.

Now whether this would have been the ideal place for the ground is an argument for another day, although I suspect the majority of fans think it is the wrong place; but permission had already been given.

Meanwhile, on all the available land beside where the new stadium would have been, there are hundreds of new houses being built and loads of new offices and industrial premises. Considering that the reason given for the final blocking of the stadium plans was access, it borders on the insane that all that other building is going ahead.

It could, and most probably will, cause more congestion and traffic flow problems at least 5 days a week, whereas the football traffic would have been once very two weeks at the most.

The next act of lunacy that our city fathers have pushed through is that, by June 2017, all taxis in Aberdeen will have to be wheelchair accessible.

They are doing this under the banner of the Equality Act. What it will in fact do is make things more difficult for the average taxi passenger. As a taxi driver of more than 36 years’ experience, I can tell you that taxi companies get more requests for saloon cars than they do for wheelchair vehicles.

If you look on taxi ranks at most times, the majority of the cars are of the wheelchair-accessible type anyway.

Traffic Congestion. Picture Credit: Ian Britton.  http://www.freefoto.com/preview/41-17-The problem lies not with the amount of the appropriate type of cars, but with some of the drivers who operate such a motor vehicle.

Make no mistake, they know the rules when they come into this job.

If they are so lazy and selfish that they find any excuse not to get out of their car to assist their wheelchair-bound passenger, then their license to operate should be taken off them.

By having all cars wheelchair-friendly however, more people will be disenfranchised than will be helped. There are more people whose disability does not involve being wheelchair-bound than there are the opposite.

People with short legs, broken legs, back problems and other hindrances are totally unable to get into higher vehicles such as those that will available in a few years’ time. Some customers have already intimated to me that they will most likely be unable to go out when this comes to pass.

The only way then to get a taxi of the lower, saloon type when you come off a train or a plane, or even when you are coming home from shopping, will be to phone up and book a private hire taxi. And at peak times, usually from about 15:00 – 19:00 on weekdays, most offices are already fully booked with account customers, and don’t take in further bookings.

As to getting picked up from the station, well we all know what a farce that already is. The general pickup point from there is in from the Station Hotel, so getting to there for somebody of less mobility, complete with their suitcase is not going to be at all easy, in fact it will sometimes be impossible.

Another downside will be several drivers of an older age, who may just work off the ranks on a part-time basis, having to give up their work. The cost of these vehicles is prohibitive, they can cost as much as £28,000. This is hardly justifiable for those that may just work at the weekends.

That will leave a shortfall of taxis working the ranks at certain times.

So Aberdeen, a city which has a nationwide reputation for having the best and most comfortable taxis, will be overrun with ‘ ice cream van ‘ taxis. Gone will be your comfy ride to the airport or further, in a Mercedes or a CRV or a BMW etcetera, and instead you will rattle about on your own in the rear of an ugly uncomfortable people mover.

Sadly though, the licensing board rarely if ever listens to those with knowledge and experience of the job, and just charges ahead with ludicrous plans to satisfy its members’ already over-inflated egos.

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Nov 142013
 

By Bob Smith.

Union Bridge & Terrace 1900 flat

In een o Scotia’s bonniest cities
Live fowk fae fair git on yer titties
Wintin the toon tae chynge it’s wyes
Wi ugly biggins tae be the prize
.
Leuk at oor glorious granite face
Fou o character an fou o grace
Fin the sun shines on the steen
Ye ken yer bidin in Aiberdeen
.
Union Street biggins they jist micht
Be in great need o a gweed dicht
Tae reveal the silvery granite glint
Aat generations o fowk hiv kent
.
Bonnie parks an gairdens are aa aroon
There’s een in the cinter o the toon
Bit a local mannie fa his lots o cash
Wid Union Terrace Gairdens like tae trash
The toon it staans twixt Don an Dee
Twa rivers fa flow tae the sea
Throwe kwintraside they pass first
Syne feed the grey north sea’s thirst
.
A toon full o majestic spires
A city aat his some deniers
An wint the toon mair tae be
Like Houston or New York maybe
.
Bit Aiberdeen needs tae be Aiberdeen
Wi the couthiest fowk ye’ve ivver seen
Faa in their toonie tak great pride
An winna be takken fer a ride
.
So Widdie, Muse an Stewartie Milne
Tho’ fowk micht nae wish ye ill
Jist bugger aff an leave things be
In the bonnie toon twixt Don an Dee

© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

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Nov 012013
 

Old Susannah, Suzanne Kelly, gets to grips with Grangemouth, Granite Webs and Gardens. The revolution may or may not be televised, but almost everything else is being privatised.

DictionaryTally Ho! Well, it’s been a colourful week in the Granite City; plans for the city centre are being  drawn up, and that’s something you don’t see every day (unless you get the P&J). Apparently all our problems are solved if we let one Sir Ian Wood give us £50 million, and let him raise (or is that ‘raze’) Union Terrace Gardens.

If only we’d have known that before!  All we’ll have to do is hand control of Union Terrace Gardens over to a few committees, stocked with powerful people, Wood’s friends, special friends and relatives, and ignore the fact you and I own this land under common law.

Oh, and we are thinking about trams. No reason to think trams aren’t a good idea; I’m sure the successful tram programme in Edinburgh can be reproduced in the ‘Deen.

I’m sure whatever Ian wants for UTG is just what Robert the Bruce would have wanted when he bequeathed the gardens to you and to me. Bruce famously sat in a cave, feeling defeated when he spied a spider weaving a web. The spider’s perseverance and determination had a profound effect on the heroic Bruce.

He watched that spider, and decided that a web – made of granite – was what we would eventually have the ambition to build over the gardens.

For some reason architects Halliday Fraser Munro continue to make, free of charge, imaginative Escher-esque drawings of the city centre. These can’t actually be built, but they are pretty. Questions like ‘What will happen to the businesses on Belmont Street, which currently have pleasant vistas overlooking the gardens’?, and ‘How will the centre of town suddenly be pedestrianized’? are just minor details we can iron out once we agree to the plans.

Dame Anne Begg opened an exhibition on the history of witchcraft in our city over the centuries at the Tollbooth Museum.

I could have nominated some better candidates for the witchcraft lecture. Aileen Malone (known for sacrificing animals i.e. deer, in the hope of getting £££) and Kate Dean (famous for making vital support services vanish) each seem to have a fair amount of free time on their hands these days, and their undoubted personal knowledge of the dark arts and witchcraft would have been illuminating.

he must be out of touch with the average person, unlike our elected and unelected rulers

Speaking of witches, I saw some graffiti recently which I can’t quite understand. I was in London this past weekend. As my train made its way into the city, very large graffiti on a building caught my eye: “The Witch is Dead, but the Spell Remains”. I wonder who this referred to?  No doubt I’ll soon Iron out which Lady the words were about.

People are talking about a recent edition of Newsnight this week.

“[We] shouldn’t destroy the planet, shouldn’t create massive economic disparity, shouldn’t ignore the people” said comedian Russell Brand, “the [political] system ..  just administers for large corporations.”

Poor Mr Brand. Clearly he can’t appreciate how lucky we are; he must be out of touch with the average person, unlike our elected and unelected rulers. We’ve never had it so good, or so we’re being told. The Newsnight interview can be found here http://www.treehugger.com/culture/russell-brand-interview-revolution-planet-is-being-destroyed-video.html .

For Brand’s benefit, and to remind us all of our recent economic successes, Old Susannah offers a few timely definitions. So, as you snuggle up in your perfectly heated home, eating your lobster dinner, and lighting your Cuban cigars with 20 Euro notes, directing the maid to clean the second bathroom again, here are this week’s definitions.

Privatisation: (noun) to dispose of a state or publicly-owned institution by sale of shares.

Remember what a huge success the sell-off of British Gas was? Lots of people got to make money on shares when the government sold off British Gas, and that was great. For some reason, we seem to be paying higher prices for gas, but I’m sure there is no connection between this and the privatisation.

The recent sale of the Royal Mail is making us all wealthy beyond our wildest dreams. Result!

So what if the future for postal employees is a bit shaky; they’ve all been given a few shares in the sell-off. I’m sure that in 3 years, when they are allowed to sell their shares, it will more than make up for any job losses or pension devaluations. I’m sure we won’t see any cost increases, layoffs, or change in the quality of service.

The selloff must have been a success, because it was oversubscribed.

This of course helps stimulate the economy, as well as rewarding the long-suffering banking sector

The experts in the banking world who arranged the flotation may have made a teeny error in pricing the shares up, but since this hasn’t cost the taxpayer more than about £750 million in lost potential share sale revenues, it’s no big deal. Shockingly, shares were not sold to anyone who wanted more than £10,000 worth.

This sounds like discrimination against the rich to me. Thankfully, the many banks which were part of the consultation process got lots of money (about £17 million according to the Guardian) for arranging the sale. This of course helps stimulate the economy, as well as rewarding the long-suffering banking sector. Also, the many banks which had put in for shares largely seem to have been successful, to the tune of about £29 million.

This is quite a happy outcome for the banking sector, even if it seems like quite a coincidence they managed to get so many shares and so many individual investors were frozen out.

We’ve sold British Gas, we’ve sold our Royal Mail; we’ve sold off most of our water.  These have been huge success stories financially.

Operationally, there are one or two minor issues that crop up after privatisations, but I wouldn’t worry about that kind of thing.

Thames Water for instance, had a few minor teething problems after its sell-off.  There are pipelines leaking millions of gallons of water which go unrepaired. The new management choose to pay dividends to shareholders rather than worry about fusty, boring water infrastructure. They may have to pay the odd fine for polluting the UK’s streams and lakes, but this is just an operating expense.

Thames Water has only had a few fines for pumping raw sewage into the environment, with one fine coming in at £204,000. Thames water also cut its workforce; but on the bright side, the chairman’s salary went up by several hundred thousand pounds per year, no doubt he was doing extra work, what with fewer workers on the payroll.

The best part? Thames Water doesn’t pay corporation tax, which is great news for shareholders (if not the Treasury). http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339282/Thames-Water-pays-corporation-tax-550m-profits

One such successful entrepreneur is the owner of Scotland’s Grangemouth, Jim Ratcliffe

But don’t worry – none of this is gives any reason to think the Royal Mail sell-off will have any negative consequences. A few job losses, a few thousand people out of work and/or with less valuable pensions, a few banks making tens of millions – that’s what keeps this nation great and competitive. There is no reason to fear the new owners of UK Plc. won’t decide to cut the water or gas.

Just keep the candles handy, stock up on fire wood, and get a rain barrel – we’ll be fine.

Union: (noun) A collective of workers organised and empowered to protect workers’ rights, health and benefits from employers who would seek to maximise profit margins at the expense of the workforce.

There is one fly in the ointment for those benefactors who kindly seek to own key British industries and companies – the Unions.

I’m delighted that private companies, often coming down to foreign governments, one family or even just one man, own crucial parts of the country’s essential utilities, resources and infrastructure. To the uneducated, this may just seem like either Imperialism or in the latter case like Feudalism, but remember how much better off we are. One such successful entrepreneur is the owner of Scotland’s Grangemouth, Jim Ratcliffe.

It may not seem like it, but Mr Ratcliffe’s had to make many financial sacrifices to keep Grangemouth and its employees going these past few years.  He’s not making as much money as he used to – there are rumours he’s down to only one super yacht, the 257 foot Hampshire II. Ratcliffe was shopping one day, had a spare £9 million to play about with, and bought Grangemouth from BP.

Since then he’s become kind of a father figure to those who work there. Rather than gratitude, these workers want to have pay increases and to keep their final salary pension schemes. Jim can’t afford this. According to the Daily Record, Jim’s not very rich at all anymore, and hardly rates:-

“Manchester-born Ratcliffe owns two-thirds of the company’s shares, giving him a personal fortune of around £3.5billion in 2008, when he was named the 25th richest man in Britain.”

With no choice, Jim announced he’d simply shut the facility, which is fair enough. Putting 800 workers, their families, the area businesses that depend on the custom of those workers in a bit of jeopardy probably just taught them a good lesson.

Such vital services I thought should be run without a thought to making money from them

Ratcliffe showed the unions he was boss. And by the way, we don’t really know how badly off Ratcliffe is, because the owner of arguably Scotland’s most important refinery keeps his businesses largely in Switzerland. If I hear of anyone starting a collection for him, I’ll let you know how to contribute.

Before Old Susannah was old, I naively thought we needed governments to tax us so they could protect our rights, help us when we were too ill to work, and provide services such as schools, hospitals, clean water and energy. Such vital services I thought should be run without a thought to making money from them, and were so vital they should be protected from any form of outside or private control, for the benefit of the taxpayer.

How I laugh now to think on this foolish ideology.

Pay your tax, work hard, and good luck. Where you can afford to live and what you earn will directly impact how your children are schooled, what drugs you’ll be allowed to have if you are seriously ill, and how your granny will be treated in a nursing home. Work for a public sector employer such as Royal Mail or oil refineries at your own risk.

Make sure you buy shares in whatever’s being sold next, and try not to think about the pollution caused by cost-cutting measures designed to improve profits, your spiralling energy costs, and the stealthy privatisation of the NHS.

Forget the train crash victims who died at Hatfield; cutting corners on safety for profit was seen by the privatised management as a ‘cost of doing business’. Forget your library closures, school closures and hospital ER closures.  If something starts to nag at you, then Old Susannah suggests getting drunk, getting wasted, or getting some engaging virtual world computer games to while away the hours.

Don’t wonder why you are paying more taxes when you no longer have to support these vital services once privatised, and don’t ask why the uber rich are paying no taxes. I’m sure everything will be just fine.

There we leave it for this week; but if you can suggest any other services that could be sold off, do get in touch. For some reason, I’m thinking of that bit of graffiti I saw again.

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Oct 242013
 

UTG long - Credit: Mike ShepherdBy Bob Smith.

Widdie’s noo back,wi mair bliddy cack
The fifty million is back on the table
Bit only ye see, if wi him ye agree
Aat there’s only ae horse in the stable

John Halliday’s plan, seems nae aneuch gran
The gairdens they still wull be sunken
Is it his fear, aat fowk they drink beer
In the airches wi an attitude drunken?

The plans need transformin, afore the mannie is warmin
Tae ony ideas the chiel wid see fit
If it’s nae tae street livel, t’is the wark o the devil
Onything else Sir Ian sees as shit

The P&J it dis cry, compromise wi shud try
Nae chunce o ess cumin tae pass
Sir Ian his a goal, tae fill in the bowl
An smore the gairdens en masse

Widdie’s “olive brunch”, fin it cums tae the crunch
Is nithing the sort if ye think
An ultimatum mair like, an een wi shud spike
Tho the eyn gemme is noo at its brink

So fa’ll raise the bar, in ess oot an oot war?
Wull fifty million bi seen as a bribe?
An concrete wull flow, on the girss doon alow
On champagne Sir Ian wull imbibe

Can the gairdens survive, fowks hopes kept alive
Or micht it dee in a nest o vipers?
Wull siller win the day, in aa ess affray
Help’t oot bi some ither snipers?

© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

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Oct 232013
 

The dust has settled on the City of Culture Bid, Round One; Aberdeen did not make the shortlist. Dundee however is through to Round Two. Following a review of bid material, recent events and a visit to Dundee, Suzanne Kelly compares the two cities and offers a few observations.

Netherkirkgate

Netherkirkgate, Dundee. Photo by Julie Thompson

It was meant to be so simple to win the City of Culture bid and it was meant to be another feather in the cap of Valerie Watt, Aberdeen City Council’s Chief Executive.
She’d been at the helm when Derry won the right to be City of Culture 2013.
For the Aberdeen bid, the usual city council suspects were called in and a number of arts and culture names and experts were signed up to create our submission.

Rita Stephen, sometime secondee to ACSEF, past promoter of the City Garden Project, etc, was seen as the safe pair of hands for this task.

Perhaps this appointment is why the bid often hones in on business retention and economic issues, with ACSEF getting a mention or two. Aberdeen needed to produce a sharp, smart and creative bid.

The bid team had to demonstrate how the city nurtured talent, used existing assets and involved people. It had to demonstrate that it could come up with interesting new ideas.

High Street

Seeing as we’re not particularly good at any of these things compared to other cities, the bid was never going to survive round one.

So, how can a city down the road from us, without lots of oil money greasing its wheels, without its own ACSEF, and without a dominant uber-wealthy ruling class outperform Aberdeen?

How did we wind up with the bid submission we produced?

How does our city stack up in the culture stakes against our poor relations in the south?

Would the lusted-after Granite Web in our city centre green space have wowed the judges?

And what was wrong about Aberdeen’s proposed Gigs on Rigs?

Two bids

Dundee’s bid actively seeks input from its citizens and groups. It is well-written with sound ideas based around the arts, people, and the environment. It is clear that rather than drawing up pie-in-the-sky concepts, it drew on its resources and existing practice.

The Dundee update webpage confirms the bid proposals, some of which require a bit more effort, but the proposals are not complete fabrication.  They have the arts and culture base because they nourish their arts.

‘”Communities around the Tay Estuary

• a celebration of the environment – connecting the cities green spaces, a festival of the hills in and around Dundee, its yellow flag beach and an outdoor music programme;

• a celebration of our people – a homecoming for those with their roots in Dundee or those who studied in the City;

• a celebration of the light – shining a light on the future, appreciating the quality of light, a night light luminaire and bright minds.”

In terms of consultation, Dundee still want to hear from people with good ideas:- 

…send us ideas for inclusion in the programme.  We have limited space in the bid so we won’t be able to include everything, but we want to hear as many ideas as possible”

To consult with people, Aberdeen took over the premises of what had been an independent music retailer, One Up. One Up had been forced to close, and in its day it contributed to our culture in showcasing local and larger acts and carrying local records. Having its husk used for the City’s vehicle of what culture should be felt a bit odd.

City Square, Dundee (2). Photo by Julie ThompsonIndividuals were invited to write ideas on Post-It notes in the bid centre/One Up. I did, and there were many good ideas.

There were also notes in pure council speak; such buzzwords as vibrant, dynamic, connectivity and transformational were much in evidence.

If these words did have any power or real meaning, their overuse in every City Council report for decades in Aberdeen has reduced them to meaningless jargon.

Predictably, the culture that was put on offer excluded anything remotely controversial, avant guard, or alternative. This was going to be a corporate, conservative cultural exercise.

As to Aberdeen’s final bid submission, ‘transparency’ was lacking, even to some of those who were supposed to be writing it.

A man who asked staff for a copy of the submission at the bid centre was asked, “And who are you exactly?” He couldn’t get a copy at the City of Culture bid centre. Perhaps this was not the ideal way to win support.

Communicating with Rita Stephen and the FOI office afterwards for a copy should have resulted in the bid being emailed swiftly. In the event, it took several requests to get a copy. The first version received was redacted (ie some text was blacked out for secrecy). We’re used to this in Aberdeen.

Most worryingly, it seems only a very few people had a say in how the bid submission would be carried out or what was going into it, and it is not clear if those in charge consulted widely enough with experienced arts and culture experts before the bid was submitted. What local artists, musicians, venue owners were asked for opinions? Who wrote the submission and who read it afterwards?

Various one-off, specially commissioned events took place during the lauch run-up. Despite the Lord Provost’s speech at an open photography exhibition in the gallery in which he stated that this would be a year of culture with or without bid success, the signs are this promise is fizzling out quickly.

This photography show at One Up / the Bid office exhibited some good work, but there were far too many photos displayed too closely together.  Hundreds of 3” x 5” images, only inches apart, competed for attention. A roughly-constructed installation piece with sound inside didn’t exactly fire the imagination.

Two Environments

HMS UnicornDundee loves its waterfront featuring HMS Discovery.

It loves the lesser-known Unicorn, a beautiful, preserved frigate open for tourism and events.

The city holds events on and around the waterfront.

Its town centre nightlife seems to lack as much severe public drunkenness as dominates nights here, although it does exist, as it does in any other city.

It respects its green park. The river is for walking along, stopping at Discovery or Unicorn, or popping into a hotel bar.

A new leisure complex has been erected on a site which is being revamped. The V&A will soon be on the riverside, creating real arts jobs where the old leisure centre stood. This is regeneration.

Aberdeen chooses to ignore the leisure potential of Nigg Bay, for instance, and financially-motivated expansionists want to allow the industrial harbour to take over this important unspoilt recreational site.

What that would mean to the life – wild, aquatic and human – in Torry in health terms can’t be good. Nigg Bay has two SSSIs, not that this otherwise important environmental protection matters in Aberdeen or Aberdeenshire, as witnessed by Trump’s Menie development.

East Grampian Coastal Partnership sensibly and reasonably proposed to construct a small leisure and learning marina, but this idea seems to have been cut adrift.  North of the industrial harbour, which by some coincidence has two of Scotland’s most polluted roads – Market Street, and Wellington Road – adjacent, is the Fun Beach.

Admittedly some good events do take place nearby, but where there was opportunity for interesting seaside bars, restaurants and hotels, identikit shopping malls exist instead. Many on the seafront have no views out to sea, a waste of waterfront opportunity.

Two Cultures

High Street - City CentreDundee loves the arts. Public sculptures abound, and whilst tourists don’t visit specifically for the bronze Desperate Dan, Minnie the Minx or the wonderful dragon, these public artworks are appreciated, photographed and posed with.

The city centre was busy the weekend I visited. Many were tourists who’d come for the day. I was handed a flyer for a fashion/vintage show. A dignified, attractive, creative market was taking place.  Posters advertised bands and art events.

The best summary of what is already in place in Dundee comes from its bid literature:

  • The V&A@Dundee will generate over 300,000 visits per year and 200 jobs.
  • In 2012 there were 2,414,362 attendances recorded at cultural venues in the city.
  • In 2012 217,009 people attended festivals and events in Dundee.
  • Dundee is home to several independent creative collectives –Tin Roof Collective, Generator Project, WASPS, Vanilla Ink and Fleet Collective – with the aim of providing supportive space and resources for designers and artists.
  • Discovery, Scotland’s International Film Festival for young audiences was the joint recipient of an international award for youth cinema in 2012.
  • Dundee Rep is a leading Scottish cultural institution.  It comprises the only full-time repertory theatre company in the UK, Scotland’s contemporary dance company and a cutting-edge community learning team.
  • Scottish Dance Theatre tours internationally as cultural ambassadors from Scotland.
  • Leisure & Culture Dundee was Scotland’s first charitable incorporated organisation to bring together a portfolio of culture, heritage, library and sporting resources into one charitable organisation.
  • Creative Dundee has hosted global event night, Pecha Kucha Night events quarterly, since bringing them to the city in November 2011.  The speed-presenting format has a 200-strong audience attend each event and has had over 80 local, national and international presenters talk.
  • In 2013 Dundee City Libraries won the UK Bookseller of the Year award for public libraries.
  • The Mills Observatory is the only full-time municipal observatory in the UK.
  • Broughty Ferry Castle is managed in partnership with Historic Scotland, is an icon at the mouth of the Tay with a dramatic and bloody history.
  • Caird Hall is one of Scotland’s most popular city centre conference and cultural venues.
  • The award winning McManus: Dundee’s Art Gallery and Museum collections of fine decorative art and whaling artefacts have been designated collections of national importance.
  • Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design has an international reputation for being at the forefront of contemporary research in art and design.

The Duncan of Jordanstone arts campus is a short walk both to the town centre, and the river, Gray’s School of Art  is a ten minute minimum bus ride away from our city centre.

Aberdeen has a great gallery with some outstanding work and exhibitions and we are fortunate that the annual National Gallery Portrait Awards tour stops here. The Arts Centre also plays host to a number of events and smaller groups and artists.

McManus GalleriesHowever, the city’s treatment of local arts groups in the recent past is nothing to be proud of.

News does travel through the arts community, and Aberdeen has some damage control to do.

The Granite City has at least one bona fide billionaire who makes a big show of wanting things to improve, via building in a common good land garden rather than brownfield, whilst insisting the geographic centre must be the sole focal point.

The world’s great cultural centres, including Rome, Paris and New York do not share this myopia (nor do Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee).

Sadly, when it came to saving the small, independent Limousine Bull Arts collective, none of our well-meaning patrons could find their chequebooks. This modest collective brought art exhibitions, training and studio space to Torry, a supposed priority area for improvement.

Past shows have included a dramatic historical exhibition on the effects on Aberdeen of the Second World War, a show of members’ work, and work created from some of their life drawing students. It brought people into Torry to talk about and enjoy art. The collective had to close its Torry premises due to lack of the sort of funds our city fathers might spend on a good weekend trip.

What can be said about Peacock Visual Arts and how it got so far with its vision for an arts centre, only to be subsumed in a monstrously out-of-scale City Square or Garden Project? The proposal for the Peacock centre wasn’t loved by all, but compared to subsequent ideas, the Peacock plan was the least disruptive, most affordable and most environmentally-sensitive of all.

Years earlier, the then Arts Council ring-fenced £1m or so for an arts project involving the Citadel. It was in no small part down to the then City Council’s lack of diligence that this never happened. The deadline came and went whilst the administration was inactive.

Perhaps the worst, most visible recent slap in the face for arts, culture and charity was the closure of the worthwhile, creative venture, the Foyer.

City Square Market, DundeeAll manner of good work took place here, from helping people conquer their problems to encouraging fledgling artists to hold exhibitions of their work in the restaurant.

Why couldn’t we save the Foyer?

Why couldn’t public and private money be found?

Why has nothing else come along to do the necessary work it did?

The administration, Valerie Watts and Rita Stephen, who seems to have had a large hand in preparing the bid, seem unaware that these lost opportunities, thwarted arts groups and other initiatives could have been the very foundation for an independent arts scene. The council runs arts courses and arts events.

Does it have some kind of issue with supporting non state-sponsored or patronised artist and art groups? You could be forgiven for thinking so.

For real progress, and for creativity and community culture and art to grow, the city administration might want to consider loosening its controlling, conservative hold, whilst providing reasonable, accountable financial support. In less-controlling, insular areas, you’ll find arts and cultural activity taking place without having to have a government logo stamped on every ticket and every programme.

Two Visions

Magdalen GreenDundee is encouraging people to use its many facilities, to create, to spend time in its existing contemporary arts centre.

It has a large open green space with a pavilion at the end of the Tay. No-one is seeking to destroy it and no one is complaining it is under-used.

It is a park. It is a green, healthy space. It is there for when it’s needed for relaxation or for events.

Dundee’s jute, jam and journalism tradition has evolved, and past, present and future are all valued here. The events proposed, the venues existing and the forthcoming V&A will enhance what is already there and encourage more visitors.

With its great reserves of personal wealth, helped here and there by offshore tax haven use and abuse, Aberdeen seems to have a considerable gap between the have-nots and the have-yachts.

Arts and music education for school children were cut by the previous administration. We have a mentality here, personified in some of our most successful – financially speaking – residents,  that the purpose of education is to learn how to do a job servicing the oil industry. Humanities and arts are not as much a priority here as in Edinburgh, Glasgow, and of course Dundee.

This attitude towards culture and the arts is reflected throughout most of Aberdeen.

The bill of goods we’re being hard-sold is that to fix our retail and city centre social problems, we have to build something in the only green common good land we have.  No-one seems willing to rejuvenate our considerable brownfield sites, where potential exists for positive social and cultural improvement, or encourage use of the closed Union Street shops.

Money rules here, but that is not always translated to the makers, artists, creators and arts educators in the private sector.  Those teachers, small bars, clubs, galleries, art collectives which do exist, deserve our sincere thanks and our funding.

Victoria Docks, Dundee. Photo by Julie ThompsonWhere Dundee has a host of well-thought through proposals, we had a no doubt well-meaning art student draw attention to our bid by painting himself a different colour every day and sitting in the window of a former indy record shop. Rita, or someone on her team, invented the proposed Gigs on Rigs.

With the hallmarks of an idea scrawled on the back of an envelope after a taxpayer-funded expensive four course dinner, this was never, ever going to work.

The idea was to fly bands to North Sea oil rigs, and beam the live shows back to Aberdeen, where we would pay to attend venues to watch bands play from the rigs. No-one seems to have looked into security, safety, or how bands would feel about this. I haven’t met a musician yet who’d prefer to jump in a helicopter to travel to an alcohol-free, freezing outdoor rig rather than play in a lively town and go out afterwards.

No-one seems to have thought through why people would want to pay to watch remote gigs, how much it would cost, who would prefer a survival suit and a helicopter ride to a limo filled with champagne, and so on. The unpredictable weather that often delays flights to rigs is well known in the industry – what would have happened if an act couldn’t get to a rig to perform? But ‘gigs on rigs’ sounded good at the time, no doubt.

Good Luck Dundee

I am rooting for Dundee; it would be fitting if its bid does well. Their ideas are sound, their encouragement and support for independent creatives is genuine and long-running. Their regeneration of brownfield is admirable.

If we are to have the ‘smart, successful Scotland’ that Scottish Enterprise and other quangos claim to want in their jargon-filled reports, perhaps it’s time to stop this inter-city tribal competitive capitalism, and instead to realise that all our cities need to be encouraged and helped, not made to compete between themselves.

Let’s all wish Dundee good luck, and let’s hope the local myopic, formulaic, conservative art mentality and Philistine environmental attitudes of our mandarins and city fathers may improve from watching what our close neighbour does.

Go Dundee!

Dundee’s update: http://www.wedundee.com/downloads/Dundee_CoC_Toolkit.pdf

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Oct 182013
 

With thanks to Kenneth Watt.

UTG displayThe Friends of Union Terrace Gardens held their AGM on Saturday Oct 12. The meeting celebrated the group’s achievements over the past year, and discussed plans being proposed for the future of the gardens.

Robin Mcintosh was re-elected as chair of the group which seeks to campaign and act to improve and preserve the city’s green heart.

The group discussed John Halliday’s proposals to raise the gardens and voted to reject the outline plans on the grounds that it would involve too much structural change as well as the possibility of a car park under the park.

Also on the agenda was a discussion with council leader Barney Crockett who reaffirmed the administration’s commitment to keeping UTG as a Victorian park. He took on board feedback from the group who continued to express an appetite for more council-supported investment and improvements.

Robin Mcintosh said:

“Today’s meeting allowed us reflect on our successes from the last year: hundreds of new plants; secured funding for new furniture; sound relationships with council gardeners as well as being taken seriously in decisions being taken about the park at administration level.”

“The group was unanimous in its rejection for Halliday’s plans and instead looked to develop further our own alternative vision for the Gardens. Councillor Crockett was keen to hear our views and provided an insight in to what the administration in considering about city centre regeneration.”

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Oct 172013
 

The controversy over Union Terrace Gardens has flared up again and, as per form, the usual agendas, fact-free PR and emotional twaddle is to the fore. So what’s going on? Mike Shepherd writes.

utgrailpicLet’s start with the John Halliday plans that have been so much in the local papers recently. John Halliday is a local architect and is the Halliday as in Halliday – Fraser – Munro, the company that drew up the original technical feasibility study for the City Garden Project.
They also created the plans for the Triple Kirks office block and the proposed Muse development on the St Nicholas House site.

John Halliday provided the plans pro bono as an illustration of what could be done with the gardens. They were not commissioned by anyone, e.g. the Council or Sir Ian Wood.

His focus has been on moving the railway station buildings to an area under and around Union Bridge. This would allow direct escalator / lift access to the station from Union Street via the north side of the bridge (and is actually not a bad idea).

He also envisages decking over the road and existing railway. The lower level of Union Terrace Gardens would be raised to accommodate access to the station from the HM Theatre side and to also include a station car park and taxi rank.

The Halliday plans drew fulsome praise from both Aberdeen Journals; the Evening Express in particular using the plans as a centrepiece for a “Let’s mend Aberdeen’s Broken Heart” campaign lasting several weeks.

The plans also drew support from an assortment of councillors and Alex Salmond. The Friends of Union Terrace Gardens (FoUTG) had been asked to comment by the Evening Express, although we told them we would reserve judgement until we found out more about the plans and had discussed them at our AGM, held last Saturday.

The Halliday plans achieved an amazing first in the UTG controversy: both the FoUTG and Sir Ian Wood were in agreement: Neither of us liked them.The Friends group rejected them as they meant building in the park (and once you concede the principle, when would this stop?)

Sir Ian Wood told the Evening Express on Wednesday that a car park would be the wrong use of space created by decking over the gardens. The billionaire seems to be envisaging a modified version of the original City Square Project; this description is from part of a press release that was reposted on Facebook:

“He does believe it is possible to cover the road and railway and then raise the gardens to the level of the existing arches on the west side and to the level of the raised decking over the road and railway and Belmont Street on the east.

“This would make them accessible and permeable from the adjacent streets and ensure the whole area becomes an integral part of the new city centre heart, with walk on access virtually all the way round. Some sloping topography would be respected with the level difference between Union Terrace and the arches with easy step access from Union Terrace and Rosemount Viaduct.

“The main visual features of the Victorian gardens could be maintained but as a more useable, accessible part of the city centre, helping regenerate Union Street and connecting north-south and east-west.

“For a city centre regeneration project to secure Wood Family Trust funds it must be truly transformational as described above, supported by the public and led by the City Council. If the council were to explore a development on this basis, they would be prepared to provide appropriate funding support. Hopefully a Government tax incremental financing (TIF) scheme might also be available.”

According to the Press and Journal, Sir Ian Wood was offering an ‘olive branch’ to the council in that a little dimple sitting on top of a subterranean structure could be styled as a ‘Victorian garden’.  This was in no doubt in response to Barney Crockett’s statement that whatever happens, a Victorian garden must remain in Union Terrace Gardens.

UTG Rowan

A rowan tree in Union Terrace Gardens. The rowan is believed by some to offer protection against malevolent beings.

If all the noise and breast-beating in the Aberdeen Journals were to be taken literally, the John Halliday and Sir Ian Wood plans are ostensibly the only show in town.

Less stridently mentioned are FoUTG’s modest plans to restore the park and the fact that Aberdeen Council are also working on a plan for the city centre that includes Union Terrace Gardens.

We don’t know much about these plans. They will be made public at the end of the month.

 

Suffice to say from what Barney Crockett mentioned at the Friends AGM, Robert Gordon’s University seem to have been involved in some shape of form.

Barney also repeated his statement that a Victorian garden will be present but was careful not to reveal too much detail and hinted that there could be some changes in the gardens.

It also sounds as if the idea of creating access to the railway station down from the north side of Union Bridge is in favour. It looks as if the council intends to try and build a consensus on their scheme with extensive consultation with interested parties. This is planned to include both FoUTG and Sir Ian Wood.

It remains to be seen what will happen in the current, somewhat heated, situation. The pressure is building up on the council administration.

Sir Ian Wood is making a last ditch attempt to save a version of his city square project. He is being aided in this by the one-sided support of the Aberdeen Journals, the P&J in particular being largely vociferous in his favour.

The Conservative councillors, who share the city administration with Labour and the independents, want to see what they refer to as the “transformation” of the gardens and not just round the edges either.

UTG train - Credit: Mike ShepherdOn the other hand, the Labour Group have the good will of many in the city over the act of ditching the business plan for the City Garden Project last year. They will not want to lose this.

Another factor is that council budgets are under severe pressure, not the least because the council have to find £75 million to fund the bypass. More cuts are likely in the medium to long term and it’s obvious to the dispassionate observer that an expensive city centre construction project should not be anywhere near the council’s top priority for expenditure.

A rational solution is to spend some money on improving the gardens but not a great deal. They don’t really need many millions spent on them to bring about a city centre heart that everybody can be proud of.

Unfortunately logic and reason on most things UTG flew out the window years ago. Here’s hoping common sense returns before long.

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Oct 112013
 

UTG FlowersThe Friends of Union Terrace Gardens (FOUTG) AGM will be held in the Belmont Cinema on Saturday 12 October. The session starts at 10.30am, although you are well advised to be there from 10am. Mike Shepherd writes.

Apart from the usual formalities, we will have two special sessions.
First of all, we will discuss in open forum the John Halliday proposal for the Denburn and will be canvassing opinion on this. At first glance, this looks like the Millennium Scheme, which would have decked over the road and railway, leaving the Gardens relatively intact.

It has been getting favourable responses from the usual commentators such as Aberdeen Journals.

FOUTG however, has unearthed more details which we will share. The feedback on this will be made public.

Secondly, we will be joined by Barney Crockett, leader of the Aberdeen City Council administration, offering the chance for members to ask Barney questions on the administration’s stance on the Gardens. Barney has gone on public record as saying that whatever happens to the city centre, the park will remain as Victorian gardens.

This AGM marks a transition in the focus of the Friends group. We do hope that our campaigning days are over and we now move forward as a stakeholder in the Gardens’ future, aiming to attract funds for the park and helping to encourage its full use.

Various initiatives in this regard will be announced by chairperson Robin McIntosh at the AGM.

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