Scottish Archives - Page 11 of 31

Donald O’ The Petted Lip

Feb 142014

By Bob Smith.

Trump’s nae deein the Hielan Fling
He’s noo tryin River Dance
Intae his Menie Developmint
Anither dollar he’ll nae advance
.
He’s gyaan ti the Emerald Isle
Doon the wye o Coonty Clare
A feel sorry fer the Irish fowk
His arrogance they’ll hae ti bear
.
His mither bein’ Scottish born
The chiel wis aywis blawin
Wull we noo hear fae him
His faither wis a leprechaun
.
Scotland wull be the losers
The bugger dis rant an roar
Donald jist gie’t a rest
Yer mair than jist a bore

Bi throwin the toys oot the pram
He’s shown his petulant streak
Aa because he lost his case
In front o a Scottish “beak”
.
At Menie wull he pack it in
An leave here wi gweed grace?
Somehoo a dinna think so
Cos the mannie wid lose face
.
Donald o the Menie Estate
Fa’s stock his teen a dip
Noo he micht be kent as
Donald o the petted lip.
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014

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Festival Of Politics Fundraiser At Cellar 35

Aberdeen City, Opinion No Responses »

Jan 212014

By Andrew Watson

Cellar 35 played host to the Festival of Politics fundraiser in lieu of the impending independence referendum.

Though primarily an acoustic act setup, there was enough variety to keep the audience interested. The only condition was that each act had to, aptly enough, display political material in their sets. This posed little problem throughout.

First up was Clype and his keyboard. This was a good showcase of traditional piano, rather than of a synthesised basis.

The set was mixed with sometimes contemporary lyrics, though one number was an adapted version of a poem written by a woman during World War II.

Peter McConville was next. He mixed singing with his guitar, workmen songs a cappella and sea shanties. This was somewhat reminiscent of Pete Seeger, the folk activist I has previously discovered via Bruce Springsteen.

Jamie Rodden followed. Almost forgoing current affairs material, he had a minor issue remembering his three year old political ditty. However, he outdid himself with some intense and forceful acoustic playing, done with the voice of a heart throb.

Dandy and the Ghost followed after, and she raised transgender plights throughout. Perhaps not the most accomplished guitarist she made up for this in spades, with expertly written lyrics and good delivery. What caught my ear the most was that many of her verses were structured and phrased like a rapper would navigate a drum machine.

Mark Ayling, reminded me of Paul Weller but was probably more like Billy Bragg. Talk amongst the crowd considered him more akin to Frank Turner, though I can’t possibly say because I’ve barely any idea who he is!

Fred Wilkinson and the Gallopin’ Buntys, the main support act, were a curious looking bunch and sounded just as unique. This was in part due to the fact that they had a violinist in their ranks to give their punk rock a folky flavour.

Headliners Curios Orange didn’t seem to have been together for too long, and although the same could maybe be said for the aforementioned support, the latter didn’t get away with it. To be fair Curious Orange, personnel wise, are a lot younger; and when they got it right they were good mix of grunge and alternative rock.

Bar a little hiccup in the running order of the night’s proceedings, all ran relatively well. Apparently whoever was meant to be onstage at 21:00 was working until 22:00.

A good night!

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Aberdeen 0 Inverness CT 1 – Pittodrie Stadium 18.01.14

Opinion, Sport No Responses »

Jan 192014

The Dons finally bottled it today, raves Voice reporter Andrew Watson.

With over 12,000 in attendance, it’s clear the Dons would be playing in front of an expectant crowd. A crowd expecting victory
It was a chilly afternoon, if not a little bit misty. Nothing the Pittodrie floodlight system couldn’t handle, though. This meant Barry Robson could arguably contend his early corner kick shot wasn’t just a wayward delivery that hit off the top of the crossbar and top netting.

Aberdeen dominated possession but did little with it, and they were to suffer the consequences for not being more clinical.

Thistle looked dangerous on the attack, particularly on the break. Their forward was generously gifted a shot from ten yards out and pounced.

0-1 (Danny Williams) after 22 minutes

Four minutes later, the home support broke out in rapturous applause. This was to mark the life – and death – of young Aberdeen fan, Cammy Smith.

This positivity starkly contrasted with the later frustration of the home crowd when the referee got in the way of play. He feebly ducked the oncoming ball unsuccessfully and got hit. He duly had abuse hurled at him for his trouble.

Unfortunately there was little worthy of a mention in the remainder of the proceedings.

Alan Tate was replaced by Joe Shaughnessy after 58 minutes. A minute later, Robson came off for Jonny Hayes. At the 65 minute mark, Josh Magennis came on for Scott Vernon.

Of the last substitution, if was clear that Vernon had to be taken off. If I had the choice I’d have taken off Niall McGinn too. These two seem to be just going through the motions, these last few games.

The most bitterly ironic thing is thatf Gregg Wylde, who moved to St Mirren the other day, might have made the difference in this game; if only to take a point instead of none at all.

Final score: 0-1.

Aberdeen 1 Hibernian 0 – Pittodrie Stadium 10.01.14

Aberdeen City, Sport No Responses »

Jan 132014

Well, they do tend to bottle the big games but this time the Dons delivered, pontificates Voice reporter Andrew Watson.

Anytime Aberdeen are in the ascendency and give their fans the opportunity to pack ‘Todders’ to the rafters, and they duly comply, they disappoint and leave the Red Army irate at the whistle for full-time.

This time, however, was different.

A brisk air with little wind made for ideal weather conditions, especially considering the time of year.

I had my free press pass hot drink and pie to warm the cockles, but felt like a heretic ditching the famous Pittodrie Pie for a more salubrious gastronomical experience – ala steak pie; a shameless premium cut off of one of Angus The Bull’s pals. Sorry Angus!

The Easter Road men dominated early proceedings, but more or less slunk into anonymity, with occasional raids into the opposition’s penalty area. There were also sizeable claims for a penalty by the home crowd, gobsmacked that referee Craig Thomson waved play on.

On the face of it, the only other part of the game worth mentioning lies well into the heart of the second half, three minutes shy of full-time and four minutes after Scott Vernon came off for Calvin Zola.

Willo Flood picked up a seemingly innocuous clearance from the Hibees back four, and thundered it into the roof of the net from twenty-five yards out. Cue home crowd going absolutely bananas, considering they probably resigned themselves to settle for a dull, goalless draw.

1-0 (Flood) after 87 minutes.

Two minutes later, Jonny Hayes left the pitch to be replaced by Russell Anderson. At the 92 minute mark, Josh Magennis came on for Niall McGinn.

All in all, Aberdeen were almost frustrated by a stubborn and resolutely defensive Hibernian side. I dare say the timely introduction – almost too late – of Zola into the field of play changed the home side’s fortunes.

New boy Alan Tate seemed solid enough if not slightly ungainly at times. I hope to eventually eat my words, and that he goes on to be a worthwhile addition to a promising Aberdeen squad.

Final score: 1-0.

Big Country, Small Venue, Complete Fan Bliss

Aberdeen City, Featured, Opinion 2 Responses »

Jan 102014

By Suzanne Kelly. Photos by Julie Thompson.

It’s been said that the greatest acts and greatest guitarists have a sound which is unmistakably theirs alone.

This remains true of Big Country, Scotland’s longest-serving, most successful, arguably most loved rock act.

You can identify a Big Country track within the first few notes, and the sound instantly evokes bagpipes, highlands countryside, pipe bands… the sound of Scotland, if you will, is the sound of Bruce Watson and Big Country.

The last time I saw Big Country they were opening for the Rolling Stones in front of thousands. Now their tour took them to my doorstep and the intimate Lemon Tree. Julie Thompson and I arrived early to find dozens queuing to get in. As to the audience, I think every age group was represented. Once inside, we found the whole front of the stage area had been staked out, and the Lemon Tree filled rapidly.

I spoke to Stuart, “a fan of the bands for 25 to 30 years now” and his son Cameron. “I brainwashed Cameron into liking them” Stuart says; “You didn’t brainwash me at all. I like them a lot” is the son’s answer. Stuart has seen them many times “mostly back in the ‘80s”.

He continues:

“I saw them here about 3 years ago too; they were amazing. I’ll be interested to see the lineup now it’s changed…we’ll see how it works with a few more faces.”

The lineup has changed over the years with Bruce Watson being, for many fans, the lynchpin around which everything works. Mike Peters has amicably left after three years and the current line up is BRUCE WATSON (guitars/vocals); MARK BRZEZICKI (drums, vocals); JAMIE WATSON (guitars/vocals) and former SIMPLE MINDS’ bassist/vocalist , DEREK FORBES.

No rock act of this longevity and success is without personnel changes, but Big Country take it in their stride – they keep touring, writing and releasing new material; without a solid lineup, the sound wouldn’t have remained the same. And while the lineups change, the crowds keep coming.

I’d spoken to Watson on the phone not long before this date; it was clear that Big Country had been on the road a long, long time, but were genuinely looking forward to being here in Aberdeen, and spending some time in Scotland. We discussed playing stadiums as compared to smaller venues like the upcoming Lemon Tree date; Watson told me the band enjoy playing smaller venues:

“We played Shetlands for the first time… there are lots of people who can’t get to see bands…”

Making live music accessible is something I wish more major acts could or would do.

When we spoke, Bruce Watson told me that Dave Sharp from The Alarm was going to do a set, and that Big Country like ‘mixing it up a bit to keep things fresh’.

Sharp is a good choice of opening act; as he comes on stage he’s been introduced as being ‘from a wedding band called The Alarm’. Sharp opens with Woody Guthrie’s I Ain’t Got No Home in This World Anymore.

His music seems to take most of its inspiration and flavour from American folk/traditional/blues road music. His short, sweet set goes down well and sets a good tone for the night ahead.

Big Country come on to huge cheers and applause; AnglePark is the opening number and a rousing one. The harmonies are working well; everything’s gelling; and the band seem happy and relaxed.

Porrohman is next. It’s likewise rousing; a sort of Scottish marching band/traditional percussion-driven rock anthem.

I find it still has a hypnotic quality to it (I’m not sure they’d appreciate the comparison, but for me U2 is to Ireland what Big Country is to Scotland – this thought hits me in the middle of Porrohman). I see what Watson meant about ‘mixing it up a bit’; band members are swapping roles and instruments.

I’ve never seen an audience at this venue so attentive. No one is talking through songs; no one is talking on their mobile or texting; they’re all singing with every face fixed on Big Country. This is a room filled with devotees, and clearly the current line up has gone over smashingly.

By the third number, all the band members have been introduced, and Watson announces ‘a song for my favourite politician’ which can only be Republican Party Reptile. I hope future writing will continue this tradition of pithy political satire. Not only do I love the lyrics, but I am remembering how much I always rated the slide guitar work on this piece.

It’s been performed beautifully with high-energy and that little hint of menace the words convey.

The night feels like it’s over far too quickly. The audience has loved the new material from The Journey as well. We’re all glad we were there – the audience and the band alike. Stuart and his son Cameron will definitely go to see Big Country the next chance they get – and I’ll be there as well.

More photos:

Big Country

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The High Girders

Articles, Opinion 13 Responses »

Dec 262013

Duncan Harley has a review copy of “Scotland’s Future” – the book the Scottish Government don’t want you to read because it’s so awfully longwinded.

The Scottish Government has quite recently published a glossy 649 page guide to Scotland’s Future as a pdf and you can of course order a free hard copy.

If all 7.132 billion of the world wide population ordered a copy of “Scotland’s Future” even the Darien Disaster would appear insignificant in terms of the resultant Scottish national debt and the more recent history of Scotland.

If all 5.295 million of us Scots ordered a copy the English would no doubt be made to pay.

Billed as the answer to all questions regarding the independence debate it’s a riveting read indeed.

This correspondent can however reveal that to date however, few have actually read the longwinded tome.

Mrs Catto of Aberdeen commented:

“I don’t understand why they even published it. It’s too heavy.”

Mr Green from Methlick commented that:

“I can’t even lift the book, never mind understand it.”

Mr Brown from Hamilton said:

“I never asked for this, what is Salmond playing at? As a registered blind person there is no way I will read this.”

Most Scots however should, at the very least, order a few copies so as to tell their grandchildren that they looked hard at the issues and completely understood the way ahead prior to independence.

The White Paper on Scotland’s Future promised much more than either the document or the launch managed to deliver. Scotland’s current First Minister Alex Salmond and his sidekick Nicola Sturgeon MSP launched the white paper with a promise that “every child from age one to starting school is guaranteed 30 hours of provision for 38 weeks of the year.”

Bang on really in terms of independence speak. Bang on really in terms of impressing the world’s press.

A wet squid? A damp banger? Or just a wasted opportunity perhaps. History will no doubt reveal the truth.

Defence of the realm, the Scottish economy, Scottish EEC membership and the issues of tax, social welfare, diplomacy and healthcare are indeed however covered in some detail throughout the length and depth of the book.

On page 236 the slightly embarrassing publication details plans for the defence of Scotland in the event of invasion by a foreign power.

It seems that Scotland will be part of “collective defence arrangements involving the reconfiguring of the defence estate inherited at the point of independence to meet Scotland’s need and the progressive build up of Scotland’s army to a total of fifteen thousand regular troops over the ten years following independence.”

As if the reassurance offered was insufficient, the White Paper goes on to say that units of the Scottish Army will seemingly carry on the names, identities and traditions of Scotland’s regiments, including those “lost in the defence reorganisation of 2006.”

On Macroeconomic Policy we are advised that countries of a similar size to Scotland have enjoyed very low levels of borrowing costs via careful management of public finances. Scotland will seemingly “establish a debt management function.”

Regarding firearms, the white paper advises that the Scottish Government will introduce full powers to introduce airgun legislation. Regarding drug use, the Scottish Government will introduce a drug strategy. Regarding Road Traffic Law, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding gambling, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding broadcasting, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding Channel 4, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the National Lottery, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding culture and heritage, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding international phone charges, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding Royal Mail, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the price of stamps, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding mobile phone charges, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the question of a separate passport for Scottish Nationals, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding citizenship, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding crime and the dialling of 999 for assistance, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the police, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding justice, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding oil and gas emissions, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding carbon capture and storage, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding farming and food production, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding health and safety, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation.

The tome drones on and on about people down the decades wondering about how “a country blessed with such wealth, talent and resources could and should have done more to realise the potential we know exists for everyone.”

“constructive working together will continue after independence” says Alex Salmond in the introductory message.

In truth many of us Scots will have little idea what he means.

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Red For Robson Rocks Reds

Aberdeen City, Sport No Responses »

Nov 102013

It occurred to me how difficult it must be for managers to keep an entire squad of players happy, even when on the bench, muses Voice reporter Andrew Watson.

Save a thought for Scott Vernon, for example. With Calvin Zola at the fore of the Dons’ attack, the former has had to fashion himself as an impact player and super substitute. He’s scored crucial goals in recent weeks, and still finds himself outside of the starting eleven.

This side, however, is Hard To Beat.

I only just realised the irony of why they played Hard Fi’s 2005 hit during the pre-match build up; and not for the first time, either.

The song, of young lust, seemed a perfect perquisite to the wolf whistles accompanying the sight of Hearts’ female physio as she rushed onto the pitch, early on.

Women in the game struggle enough to be viewed equally even as referees, one wonders; so it’s maybe of little surprise that sexist pigs like myself found it rather amusing.

23 minutes into the game, workhorse Willo Flood left the pitch due to injury, to be replaced by Barry Robson. Only three minutes later, Robson whipped in a cross, which connected sweetly with Niall McGinn’s boot.

1-0 Aberdeen!

Not long after, there was a chance for Aberdeen to go two ahead, with a successful appeal for handball in the box. McGinn, though, failed to beat the keeper.

The Dons suffered a massive blow on 55 minutes as Barry Robson was ordered off for a second yellow card by referee Ian Brines.

Zola came off for Vernon at the 58 minute mark. Then came the goal which turned the tide for the Tyncastle side.

1-1 (Jamie Walker). Keeper Jamie Langfield beaten after 66 minutes.

The pain was doubled eight minutes later, with a cut back exposing the Dons’ defence.

1-2 (Callum Paterson).

At the death Langfield then spearheaded an attack, running from his box to support the forwards during a corner kick. He was almost caught on the hop, and had to race back to his own goal.

Think of Peter Schmeichel in that 1999 European Cup Final. Just without the glory.

1-3 (Ryan Stevenson) after 90 minutes. Top corner.

I daresay McGinn scoring that penalty could have altered the outcome of this particular clash. Hearts came to life after the equaliser, and went onto comfortably beat a once rampant Reds side.

Losing Robson early in the second half certainly didn’t help.

Final score: 1-3.

Heartache For Partick As Dons Dish Up A Doing

Opinion, Sport No Responses »

Nov 052013

Perhaps it’s a good sign when not only do you expect a win for your team, but you also envisage a clean sheet, too, says fitba reporter Andrew Watson.

Aberdeen started the game brightly and on the attack, but with little end result.

A seemingly speculative free kick from Niall McGinn, though, saw Scotland call-up keeper Scott Fox pick the ball out of his net after 25 minutes.

1-0 Aberdeen!

Fifteen minutes later and Peter Pawlett was running at Thistle’s defence, posing a goalmouth threat for Calvin Zola to net from only two yards out.

2-0.

11 minutes after the interval, the impressive Cammy Smith left the pitch, with ex-Celtic man Barry Robson coming on. Zola then came off to be replaced by Scott Vernon at the 64 minute mark.

Michael Hector, formerly of Millwall, rocketed an absolute wonder shot into the roof of the net approximately at the time of that latter substitution.

3-0.

Only seconds later Partick might have pulled one back after a cheeky dink from the centre of the park, but the enquiring shot was beaten by Jamie Langfield’s crossbar.

Pawlett came off to allow for club captain Russell Anderson fourteen minutes after Hector’s goal, arguably to shore up the defence and earn a much desired fourth consecutive clean sheet.

Hector was also involved in a superb cross for McGinn to finish expertly after 87 minutes.

4-0.

To be fair, the score belied the sometimes excellent efforts of the Firhill men, who besieged the Dons defence. It’s just that they didn’t finish chances, unlike what was achieved at the other end of the field by a side more clinical in attack.

Final score: 4-0.

Mist, Rain And Flood As Dons Triumph

Featured, Opinion, Sport No Responses »

Oct 212013

The spitting rain and low mist made for sometimes dull viewing on Saturday, though a Dons victory resulted nonetheless, says fitba reporter Andrew Watson, on his welcome return to the Voice team.

At least the away support appeared to make light of the weather, littering the pitch with orange and black balloons. They even shot rolls of paper from the stand when the whistle sounded for kick-off. The Tangerines had arrived in force.

Visitors Dundee United haven’t won at Pittodrie since 2009, and in some respects may feel cheated of at least a point after threatening goal on a handful of occasions. Having said that, neither team had many shots on target throughout.

If every player attacked the game with the same sense of urgency as Dandies’ midfielder Willo Flood, it would have been an entirely different spectacle.

He was the proverbial bull in a china shop, the colour of his own jersey acting like a Reds rag as he launched into every tackle. One can only hope this is a regular feature of his performance, and that he wasn’t inspired by the fact he’s an ex-Arabs’ man battling with his ex-teammates. There were boos for him from the away crowd for the duration.

It was only fair that he was awarded Man of the Match, as his work ethic almost singlehandedly propelled the Reds’ engine room in the centre of the park.

Despite this, Dundee United dominated the first half.

However, after the interval Peter Pawlett rushed through the United defence, passing to Niall McGinn, who found Calvin Zola. The man from Zaire slotted an easy ball into the back of the net on 54 minutes.

1-0 Aberdeen!

Joe Shaughnessy left the pitch eleven minutes later, with another ex-United man, Barry Robson coming on. Zola then came off, replaced by Scott Vernon after 77 minutes.

Michael Hector, a promising 21 year old on loan from Reading, was the last of the substitutes in 80 minutes, with Ryan Jack coming off.

The only other incident of note was the booking of Jamie Langfield. It was initially quite hard to figure out quite what had happened. Apparently as time was ticking away, and a United equaliser was threatening, the keeper urged the first aid man to take his time, and let him take the ball himself.

Admittedly, Aberdeen rode their luck in the closing minutes. Some blunders, made by a usually rock- solid defence, nearly cost them points.

Yet, on the other hand, it’s forcing the opposition’s hand, through winning ugly when there are few clear cut chances that accrues league points in the long term.

What do Aberdeen lack right now? Consistency. Results like this, against tough opposition like United, though, are telling proof of the Reds’ potential.

Final score: 1-0.

A “Black” Day Fer Fitba

Creative Writing, Opinion No Responses »

Sep 192013

By Bob Smith.

Ian Black yon fitba player
Some siller he’s bin layin
On results o fitba matches
Far his ain team hid bin playin

A measly ban an paltry fine
Wis aa the buggar got
Wis iss less than aa the dosh
Efter coontin up the tot?

Wullie Woodburn in nineteen fifty fower
Wis fae the gemme suspendit sine die
Fer heid buttin a Stirling Albion player
Faa kick’t Wullie twixt unkle an thigh

The ban on Wullie Woodburn
T’wis lifted efter three ‘ears
Tam Finney the English international
Wis amang fowk faa raised three cheers

So fit’s the worse offence fowks
A heid butt or an illegal bet?
Baith are brakkin aa the rules
Yet different bans they get

Eence mair the SFA fell doon
On applyin the law’s full blast
A langer ban fer Ian Black
Wid show the die’s bin cast

Ally o the new Gers claims
Lots o players hae a flutter
So gie the names tae the SFA
In case ere’s ither nutters

The fitba gemmes in sic a state
Surely integrity it still maitters
Come on ye SFA heid billies
Staun up agin thae betters

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