Sep 162015
 

Aberdeen survived some scares to win against quite a good Hamilton side, says Andrew Watson.

pittodrieThe start was a nervy one, with both sides feeling their way into the game.

Aberdeen were the first to suss their opposition out, but struggled initially.

Some smart play was hampered by too many passes being short of their target.

It was Graeme Shinnie that really kicked off things, when he instigated a second penalty in two games.

Once again, it was Adam Rooney who stepped up. If he could score that League Cup securing goal a couple seasons back, it could more or less be said he’d score this one. He did, coolly slotting it away.

1-0 after 23 minutes!

The Dons came out a completely different team in the second half, and seemed very timid. The Accies were beginning to take a foothold of the game, and there were moments they proved they definitely deserved a point from the game.

Josh Parker came on the pitch to replace Jonny Hayes 72 minutes into proceedings. A minute later, Ryan McLaughlin came off for Shaleum Logan.

McInnes made his final substitute at 82 minutes, with Peter Pawlett coming on for Kenny McLean.

Parker probably had the best chance of the game towards the end, coming more or less one on one with the keeper.

The Red Army were probably expecting him to lob the keeper, but he elected instead to control the ball and drive it low. It went wide.

Ashton Taylor was also taken off near the end. Thankfully he appeared to walk off the pitch without a limp, so hopefully the injury is minor and that he can play at Tynecastle.

It could be a tough one, away from home, so as strong a squad as possible would be ideal.

Final score:  1-0.

Sep 132015
 

Aberdeen were a goal and man down but fought admirably to seal victory, recounts Voice reporter Andrew Watson.

merkalndpic2The build up to the game was tense and palpable.

One song they pumped out through the tannoy system seemed particularly apt:

“When two tribes go to war/
A point is all you can score
When two tribes go to war/
A point is all you can score”

– Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Two Tribes

Given the eventual outcome of the game the words seem a tad ironic. Hope for a draw at best? No chance!

Just before kick-off there was a minute’s applause for late Aberdeen winger Graham Leggat, who was integral to the side that won the league championship for the first time ever in the 1954-55 season.

Both sets of players wore black armbands as a mark of respect. Though a celebration of his life, it was somewhat sombre and touching that a lone red balloon bobbed along the pitch during this.

In retrospect isn’t it further irony that a man that helped his club to a domestic milestone is followed by a team that, after this game, has made its best start since the league winning exploits of the 1984-85 season?

You wouldn’t have thought that such a feat was even possible when the game got going.

They started dreadfully and almost conceded an early goal. Andrew Considine caused confusion in the opening minutes and nearly gifted Celtic with a poor pass back.

Things proceeded in this manner for a fair chunk of the first half. Miskicks of the ball, and sometimes missing the ball completely made for frustrating viewing.  Kenny McLean comes to mind.

If it wasn’t for their endeavour, despite some terrible play, they’d have been dead and buried even before half time was called.

However, it was 35 minutes into the game that brought the first major flashpoint. Considine brought down Leigh Griffiths in the box.

0-1 Celtic (Griffiths) 35 minutes into the game, converting their penalty.

Come the second half the dynamics of game changed slightly. Graeme Shinnie was fouled as the ball was about to roll out of play.

Eleven minutes into the second half, and Adam Rooney responded with the second penalty of the game.

1-1!

The fightback then seemed off the cards for Aberdeen, when Jonny Hayes was sent off after 72 minutes. He’d been a constant menace and nuisance to the Hoops, and gave much attacking impetus to the home side.

It’s gathered that this was for a sliding challenge he made, in that though one foot was grounded on the turf, the other was raised and therefore dangerous.

However, if both feet were at ground level would that not have been a two footed tackle?

Anyway, Derek McInnes reshuffled his pack eight minutes later, with new boy Josh Parker replacing Rooney.

The Dons somehow recovered after 86 minutes when defender Paul Quinn sent the Red Army absolutely bananas. Niall McGinn delivered that important ball into the box, and all Quinn had to do was merely guide it over the line.  That he did.

2-1 Aberdeen!

Shaleum Logan, having still been a target for Celtic fans after the Tonev debacle, egged on his support in the South Stand; with his frustration turning to jubilation. They lapped it up, loving his passion as he ran down the touchline in celebration.

A minute later McGinn was taken off, in favour of Willo Flood.

Griffiths could’ve dashed the hopes of the Dandies. He’d been a scourge, but not this time.

A more astute and ruthless finish was needed to exploit defensive errors late in the game, though to be fair this was struck quite near the byline and at a tricky angle. It was mopped up well before crossing goal.

With three minutes added on, the Pittodrie faithful whistled and collectively sounded akin to an air raid siren or not too dissimilar from our emergency services racing down Union Street.

It’s a strange result, really, because they’d maybe not clinch victory playing as they did in the first half against some of the league’s other sides. Hearts, perhaps.  Their never say die attitude will stand them in good stead, though.

Final score:  2-1.

Aug 242015
 

Aberdeen took some time to breakdown an in form Dundee side, says Voice’s Andrew Watson.

pittodrie2There were grey skies and slightly overcast conditions, though the weather remained settled enough to make ideal conditions for football, in Scottish terms anyway.

Generally speaking the home side had more possession in the final third of pitch, but what little of the ball the Dark Blues had they were a bit more productive within the host’s box. This wasn’t necessarily reflected in the score.

On top of that a very so slightly pedantic referee in Bobby Madden ensured the heated moments in the game sometimes boiled over, with four bookings and a dismissal.

The Dons finally got going in the second half, 66 minutes into the game, with Jonny Hayes crossing the ball to find Adam Rooney. He headed coolly into the net.

1-0 Aberdeen!

Goodwillie was then substituted eleven minutes later. He was replaced by Josh Parker, who’s currently on loan from Red Star Belgrade and has also spent time at Queens Park Rangers.

There was a moment Parker got onto the ball well within the box. Expected to shoot, he elected to pass the ball further into the penalty area. A measured move, but still it was hoped he’d go for glory himself.

Aberdeen then made their second and final change after 87 minutes. This was to take off Hayes and bring on Paul Quinn.

A few minutes into injury time and Rooney was chopped down for a penalty. Dundee’s Gary Harkins was duly sent off for the challenge.

Taken from the feet of the Dublin man himself, Aberdeen went a second goal up with the last kick of the game.

2-0 Aberdeen in the final minute of the three minutes of injury time!

The only main point of criticism is that Shaleum Logan of late hasn’t been bombing down the wings and hitting into the box, like his usual self. Instead, he chooses, yes to come forward, but to pass sideways and even behind himself.

Anyway, let’s hope Aberdeen can keep up their winning streak, this the fourth of four, and again push for that second place spot. This will probably to be hotly contested with the likes of the returning Hearts side especially.

Final score:  2-0.

Aug 092015
 

Aberdeen shrugged off their Euro blues with a comfortable victory over a struggling Kilmarnock side, recounts Voice’s Andrew Watson.

merklandandrewThe weather was fine and conducive to a good game, though the Dons were maybe lackadaisical at first.

They snapped out of it and began to create chances, really trying to get forward and try to inflict some damage.

Eventually, after 37 minutes, Jonny Hayes was in the box and the ball fell to Graeme Shinnie.

Instead of placing it he perhaps caused some initial alarm amongst the Red Army by smashing it with the outside of his foot, rocketing it into the roof off the net.

It was from close range, though from maybe a bit of a tricky angle for mere placement. What a finish.

1-0 Aberdeen!

There was instance or two for the Rugby Park men to draw the game level again after the interval, but that came and went.

Willo Flood was taken down and a penalty resulted, booted by the foot of Adam Rooney.

2-0 Aberdeen eleven minutes into the second half!

Ex-Don Josh Magennis was brought on to beef up Killie’s attacking options, and not merely to elect to avoid any further drubbing.

Cammy Smith and Andrew Considine came on after 66 minutes, replacing by Kenny McLean and Hayes.

Aberdeen then made their third and final change after 83 minutes. This was to take off Niall McGinn and bring on David Goodwillie.

The only other point of note was a ball boy been carted off in a wheelbarrow. Perhaps this was the same lad who was lambasted by Ayrshire men for assuming an Aberdeen goal kick, and not a corner.

It was a solid performance, with some minor flaws, yes, but something to build on for the ensuing league and cup campaigns.

Final score:  2-0.

Jul 242015
 

The Scottish Government plans to appoint a teacher/ educator/ nurse to oversee every child born. The intent is ‘Getting it right for every child;’ the scheme is commonly known as the ‘Named Person’ scheme. Aberdeen Voice asked the agency responsible for the roll-out of the Named Persons scheme to answer some of the many questions surrounding this controversial scheme. Here are the questions and replies, as well as a few further questions. By Suzanne Kelly

Scottish ParliamentThe controversial ‘Named Person’ scheme is the subject of heated debate and discussion online and offline. The named person will follow a child from birth to age 18, looking at any records they wish concerning the child and its family, such as health, education, police; anything.

The intention may be a good one, to ensure that no child is abused. A number of questions were put to the government, and after a few weeks their spokesperson responded as follows:

Q1.  How do you square this scheme with the opinion of the Law Society, which warns that the move could be illegal under Article 8 of the European Convention of Human Rights (ECHR), which protects a parent’s “private and family life”.

Reply: 

“The legislation was recently the subject of a challenge in court, heard in November and December 2014. The challenges to the legislation were rejected in their entirety by the Court. The Court found that Part 4 (Named Persons) of the Act does not contravene the ECHR, EU law or the Data Protection Act (DPA).”

Q2.  Do you intend to compel children to answer questions?

Reply:

No. As we have said before, there is no obligation for a parent, child or young person to engage with the Named Person. The legislation brings no new powers for teachers, or any other professionals.”

[At present there are strict laws governing who can access personal data; it is far from clear whether that protection will apply to Named Persons who want to look at files. While the answer says children will not be compelled to answer, it was presented in court that they will indeed be made to answer questions with QC Aiden O’Neil telling the court there is no provision for opt-out http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-30935806 . Anyone who doesn’t want to answer questions, or any family that doesn’t want to participate should be made aware of the answer the government supplied here that says the scheme is not compulsory.]

Q3.  Will children be forewarned before they are questioned?  This apparently did not happen in at least one case.  In Aberdeen, a teenage girl was called out of her class and questioned by someone at first introduced as being a nurse.  She was unprepared and uncomfortable.

 Reply:

The Scottish Government cannot comment on individual cases.”

[The question was whether or not a person would be forewarned they are to be questioned. This was not answered.]

Q4.  The girl was asked questions about her period among other things. Is this sort of questioning what is being rolled out? Please send me a list of questions which children will be asked to answer.

Reply:

“The Scottish Government cannot comment on individual cases. There is no list of questions.”

[If there are no set questions that can be published, then how can a child or a family possibly know what questions and what subjects are covered under this scheme? The absence of set questions leaves this sensitive questioning of a child open-ended, and can be seen as a carte blanche open to abuse.]

Q5.  A concerned parent wanted to know what had transpired and been written up as notes after their child was interviewed.   The local authority planned to charge £10 per page of documentation supplied – and also was arguing that neither parent or child was really entitled to see any reports created by a named person.

Reply:

“The Scottish Government cannot comment on individual cases.

“The cost of requesting information held about you (known as a Subject Access Requests) is regulated by the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO). Parents are entitled to access information about their child by making a SAR if the child is unable to act on their own behalf or has given their consent. Further information can be found here: https://ico.org.uk/media/for-organisations/documents/1065/subject-access-code-of-practice.pdf

[The costings provided in the document supplied seem very precise. They also seem very low. The scheme will cost central government absolutely nothing. It will cost ‘other bodies, individuals and businesses’ less than £700,000 from now through 2019, and will cost the NHS. The bad news is that these costs which are nothing short of eye-watering will fall on local governments. In 2014-15, local authorities are estimated (rather precisely) to have to spend £78,782,982 on the scheme (I wonder what happens if that rises to £78,782,990?). The figures then shoot up further, costing £107,765,588 the following year, and similar sums going forward. Will we see local authorities hiring squads of child watchers? It certainly looks like a possibility, as Page 47 refers to hiring administrators.]

Q6.  What powers does the named person have over the child?

Reply:

The Named Person builds on the professional responsibilities of those individuals who are identified as Named Persons (such as Health Visitors, Primary Head Teachers and Guidance or Pastoral Care Teachers), and will form part of their day-to-day work. The Act does not introduce any powers over a child for the Named Person role.”

[Some teachers are less than keen to have any further work piled on them. I have also heard from parents of children with special needs who are currently in litigation concerning bruising and possible use of restraints on their children – the very people who are involved in the legal action would have been likely to also be the ‘Named Person.’ This is worryingly going to cause clashes and in such a case it is hard to see how allowing a Named Person access to records about the child’s bruising and police information which could influence legal action is in the child’s best interests.]

Q7.  What forms of records – school, medical, police, other – would a named person be allowed to look at?

Reply:

There are no powers in the Act plans to routinely gather and share information, or records. If there is a concern about wellbeing then relevant public bodies will share information proportionately and if relevant to addressing a concern. The child or young person will know what is being shared, for what reason and with whom and their views will be taken into account.”

[This is somewhat reassuring – but how the scheme will be overseen and what checks and balances exist is unclear.]

Q8.  How much is your scheme estimated to cost at the national level, and how much at the local authority levels for Edinburgh, Inverness, Glasgow and Aberdeen?

Reply:

“Information on the costs of implementing the Getting it Right for Every Child Programme of which Named Person forms a part, are contained within the Financial Memorandum of the Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014, available here: http://www.scottish.parliament.uk/S4_Bills/Children%20and%20Young%20People%20(Scotland)%20Bill/b27s4-introd-en.pdf

“The Scottish Government does not hold information relating to the cost for individual local authorities.”

Q9.  There are cases where children with special needs have returned home from specialist schools with injuries and legal action is being taken by parents. If the named person is also someone who might potentially be involved in abuse, what safeguards would be created to remove the named person from overseeing that child? What safeguards would ensure that such a person is banned from looking at medical, police or other records which could interfere with any legal action being taken by parents?

Reply:

The workforce regulation will not change as a result of the Named Person. Anyone undertaking the Named Person role, such as Health Visitors and Head Teachers, will have already undergone a process of checks and vetting through the Protecting Vulnerable Groups (PVG) scheme which checks their suitability to work with children.

“The Named Person will be accountable within the management structure already in place for their primary role. They will also be accountable to their professional registration body as is currently the case. Parents and children will be able to hold professionals accountable through the complaints processes in place within agencies.”

[This may be reassuring to some, but as the news attests, there are educators and doctors who have been found guilty of abusing children, all of whom had been passed as suitable to work with young people.]

Q10.  How does the government plan to manage and record instances of named persons accessing a child’s records?  If the Data Protection Act 1998 is to be upheld, how does the scheme plan to manage doing so?

Reply:

“Part 10 of the draft statutory guidance (available here: http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0046/00469613.pdf) outlines how the information sharing requirements of the Act should be met in a manner that is consistent with the Data Protection Act and the ECHR.”

My conclusions:

People have come out in support of the scheme. However, ‘Getting it right for every child’ seems to mean treating all children and families in precisely the same way under this new system. With data protection rights being breached with alarming frequency, coupled with no set questions and therefore no clear guidance about what it is appropriate to ask, will there be abuses under the plan?

The Act reads in part: “The Children and Young People (Scotland) Bill is founded on the key principles of early intervention and prevention…” Who is going to decide what ‘intervention’ is required? Who is going to be deciding that some future abuse or problem should be ‘prevented’, and how would this happen? Removal of the child from the family?

It is not so long ago that the shameful Orkney ‘satanic abuse’ scandal saw children being taken away from their families on the trumped-up charge of ‘satanic abuse’, questioned until exhausted under questionable circumstances, and when they begged to be allowed to go back to their families, their wishes went unheeded. Some of those forcibly removed children, taken for their own safety allegedly, wound up being abused when in care.

Some of these children sued the state for their lost childhood.

The state needs to clean up its own sorry systems before deciding it has the right to intervene and prevent. In the words of one of the Orkney children:

“We kept telling them that we had not been abused, but they wouldn’t listen,” she said. “The interview techniques used were designed to break us down.

“To take a child away from her mother at the age of eight is unforgivable. We were part of a normal, happy family and suddenly we were shattered.”  http://www.scotsman.com/news/scotland/top-stories/orkney-abuse-scandal-victim-to-sue-for-lost-youth-1-1139542

The state assumed it knew better than the families and the children then; it is assuming it knows better than the families and children now.

This is a contentious subject; there have seen some heated exchanges online; some people are assuming objections to this scheme must necessarily be motivated by anti-SNP sentiment. This leap of logic must not be allowed to overshadow the facts of what the government wants to implement. Objectors to the scheme include doctors, families, human rights groups and more.

For those concerned about the increasing encroachment by government on the rights of the individual, this scheme seems Orwellian. Indeed, we are going to teach children from the time they can talk that they are answerable to the State, not that the State should and must be answerable to them.

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May 252015
 

Saints super sub Chris Kane was the difference between the two sides in the final Pittodrie fixture of the season, opines Voice reporter Andrew Watson.

merklandandrewFine weather promised to make the pairing a fair and even contest.

However, Derek McInnes’ generosity in awarding starts for departing Nicky Low and Joe Shaugnessy conspired to make his gentlemanly gesture look disrespectful to the visitors.

A hard working and stubborn St Johnstone side gave as good as they got, but had retiring Dons captain Russell Anderson been the only nominal addition to the starting eleven things could’ve panned out much differently.

However, this second string Reds team went close a few times, usually with winger Jonny Hayes being the common denominator in any given attack.

One can’t help but ponder, though, what could’ve been.

What if they had the attacking defensive play of Shaleum Logan? What if they had the as of late midfield command and dead ball specialty of Barry Robson?

What about the man who needs no justification, Adam Rooney?

None of these three were even on the bench.

Moving on, two minutes into the second half, Lawrence Shankland came on for Low.

56 minutes in, defender Mark Reynolds came off the pitch replaced by young gun Scott Wright. The latter was a pleasure to watch and wasn’t afraid to take anyone on.

0-1 (Kane) after 70 minutes. The substitute helped instigate the attack, scoring instantly.

Ten minutes later, Frank Ross replaced Cammy Smith.

It was gutting to see off Anderson in such a way, in a match they really should’ve been able to turn out positively, especially given that it was a home game.

I dare say Low served his purpose last season, but I am genuinely sad to see Shaughnessy move on, who I’ve always considered a solid player with an authoritative stature ideal for the Scottish game.

Final score:  0-1.

Apr 102015
 

Aberdeen edged Inverness with one goal in a ‘best of the rest’ battle, says Voice reporter Andrew Watson.

merkalndpic2It was ideal conditions at Pittodrie for the last night’s evening kickoff.

There were some close chances for the Dons in the first half, although they lacked that killer touch within and around the box.  Both Niall McGinn and Adam Rooney came close; the former with a delightful chip over the keeper going just wide of the post.

Inverness, on the other hand, had a few chances themselves, perhaps not as clear cut.

Their defence, though pegged back for the duration, were resolute and robust in their dealings with the Aberdeen attack.

Time and time again they were put under pressure, but coming out of it unscathed. Reasonably good, bar a few slipups, communication and a siege mentality served them well.

It was looking as if it would be a second consecutive goalless draw for The Reds at Pittodrie, albeit a more exciting fixture. That did change slightly in the second period, though.

Two minutes in Ashton Taylor converted Barry Robson’s pinpoint corner kick. Tall Taylor glanced his header into the bottom corner.

1-0 Aberdeen!

Kenny McLean came on the pitch on the 70 minute mark, with Peter Pawlett coming off.

Aberdeen were maybe a little unlucky to come away only one goal ahead.

It went from siege mentality to being under siege as Shay Logan thumped the underside of the crossbar amidst a flurry of chances for the home side. Rooney also had a strike chalked off for offside.

It’s good to finally get the monkey off the back after that frustrating draw with the other Jags of the SPFL.

Final score:  1-0.

Feb 272015
 
Signing the TTIP pledge at Holyrood

Christian Allard MSP signing the pledge at the Scottish Parliament.

With thanks to Gavin Mowat.

Christian Allard, MSP for the North East of Scotland, has added his support to the campaign to fight against privatisation of the NHS.

The campaign calls for David Cameron to use his veto to protect the health service from the effects of the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP).

Mr Allard along with SNP colleagues at the Scottish Parliament signed the People’s NHS pledge to demand that David Cameron vetoes TTIP unless the NHS is “fully and clearly exempted” from the agreement.

Commenting, Christian Allard MSP said:

“Protecting the NHS is an important priority for people in Scotland and for the SNP. This is why SNP MSPs are pledging that we will call on the Prime Minster to veto TTIP if it does not explicitly exempt the NHS from the agreement.

“Our NHS staff do a fantastic job in our most treasured public institution and this work is too important to be put at risk from TTIP.

“The SNP will do everything in our power to protect our NHS and support the good work of our NHS staff – that is why we are signing this pledge.”

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Jan 162015
 

Eilidh WhitefordTwo North-east Labour MPs vote with Conservatives for further austerity. With thanks to Paul Robertson.

It has been revealed 28 Scottish Labour MPs voted with the UK Government last night for £75 billion of cuts and tax rises.
Those voting with the Conservative Government for further austerity included two North-east Labour MPs, Anne Begg and Frank Doran.

Commenting, MP for Banff & Buchan and SNP Westminster Spokesperson for Work & Pensions, Eilidh Whiteford (pictured), said:

“Labour have shown their true colours in siding with the Tories, and it shows even more clearly that only by voting SNP can Westminster’s obsession with imposing austerity cuts be changed.”

“The Conservatives are committed to continued austerity which will hit Scottish public services- and they have now been backed by Scottish Labour.

“The consequences of austerity are all too plain to see in my own constituency and across the North-east, so it is particularly disappointing to see two Labour MSPs for the North-east side with the Conservatives. It will be ordinary, hard-working people in their constituencies who will continue to suffer and those people should not be paying the price for the mess that the Tories and Labour got us into in the first place.”

“The SNP in government has a strong record on protecting our public services and supporting public sector workers – including the recent additional funding announced for NHS Grampian.  But the impact of Westminster’s austerity agenda is continuing to be felt – and with more cuts being passed down the line , the strain on our vital public services will only increase.”

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Nov 282014
 

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

DictionaryApologies for the late running of this service, I’ve been on holiday. I was at the bonfire night fire festival in Lewes where suffice it to say Alex Salmond must be very popular, as there were two giant effigies of him paraded through the streets. Thousands of people, fire, pubs open late; hospitality galore all night long – and all no more police, security and crowd barriers as Aberdeen employed when the Commonwealth torch passed through town, or for a Christmas tree in the gardens.

Lewes also forgot to put up signs saying ‘no dogs, no pets, no plastic chairs, no food, no alcohol’ like Aberdeen did for its 2 hour torch party.

I think Lewes could learn quite a bit from Aberdeen City Council when it comes to having fun.

Safety first, fun … well, where possible in small dribs and drabs (‘drab’ being the operative word for recent events; let’s see what the city has in store this Christmas season).

Overall playing it safe seems to be the theme of several news stories this past week or so, and here are some relevant definitions.

Spin Doctor: (Modern English compound noun) – A person who serves as a public relations professional specialising in damage limitation, reputation enhancement, and other forms of lying.

It was a shame to be away with all of Aberdeen’s exciting developments going on, but the £80,000 pending appointment of a new City spin doctor is by far the most thrilling.  Congratulations in advance to Aberdeen City Council’s future new head of spin, Takki Sulaiman. Let’s hope he can do for the city what he did for London’s Tower Hamlets. Fraud, waste, housing issues, financial irregularities – he’ll have lots of experience in these areas to bring with him.

For some reason he still has to have his pre-employment checks carried out. For one thing apparently he didn’t bother to mention he was at one point a Labour Councillor; perhaps he was trying to forget. But if our new spin doctor is a bit forgetful when it comes to minor details on his own CV and Tower Hamlet’s many problems, I’m sure his otherwise astute eye for detail will be worth every penny of the £80k.

The P&J reported on this joyous news, adding their own spin to the story. Their news article (if that’s what they call it) reported that:

“The city’s Labour-led administration has courted controversy after ditching £140million plans to redevelop Union Terrace Gardens and attempting to ban First Minister Alex Salmond from council property.”

I am always in awe at how the P&J can recall these facts. Other facts seem to elude the paper though, in the same way that Takki forgot he was a Labour councillor.

Perhaps counting actual profit and loss from black and white figures is not their strong suit

The P&J has a little amnesia when it comes to remembering little things like the taxpayer would have had to borrow £90 million pounds to build pointless webs to nowhere, and that PricewaterhouseCooper predicted the web would earn us hundreds of millions and make 6,000 permanent new jobs. How could we have turned that down?

It would be churlish of me to mention that this same PWC entity has overestimated Tesco’s profits by a few hundred million in errors spanning the last few years.

Perhaps counting actual profit and loss from black and white figures is not their strong suit. Maybe they are best left to use their undoubted expertise to guess how many tourists will come to buy goods if they’re situated under a granite web.

At one of the many council meetings about Ian Wood’s web scheme, I gave a deputation. When I was done, Callum McCaig asked me whether I was doubting the reputation of PriceWaterhouseCooper. I managed to answer that we’d already paid a five figure sum of taxpayer money to the PWC experts for their web expertise, and they’d get more if we went ahead. My opinion of this firm has changed very little on learning they failed to add up Tesco’s books accurately.

As to the other point the P&J brought up, At the time Salmond had developed a penchant for showing up any place he was invited, such as the Bramble Brae school because a parent had asked him. This was during a by election. Well, he’s still invited to meet his own constituents at the Menie Estate and see what good he’s done them. We’re waiting Alex.

But I digress.

I suppose Suliaman’s a safe alternative to the city’s previous relationship with the BiG Partnership. At least he is not likely to enlist the services of Jake the Ghost or Morris the Monkey to tell us we need to spend £140 million on granite walkways to make money. But what can we expect?

Tower Hamlets has had one or two wee problems; like our friend up the road Donald Trump, Panorama decided to take a look at how things work there. It’s all a bit messy, complicated, fiscally obscure, politically-skewed story. Takki will love it here in the uncomplicated, straightforward Deen. As a media professional Suliaman knew exactly what to do.  He refused to make a statement, and hired a PR company (I’ll bet Tower Hamlets taxpayers were thrilled):

“[Suliaman] … declined to speak to PRWeek earlier this week, explaining that he did not believe it was appropriate with the Panorama controversy ongoing.

“Rahman and Tower Hamlets Council have mounted a robust response to the programme, for which Sulaiman has enlisted the help of PR and public affairs agency Champollion.

“An agency spokesperson stresses it is working for the council, of which the mayor is the head, and is not involved in political campaigning. “Takki has a duty to protect the reputation of the council and we’ve been supporting the council to ensure that whatever happened wouldn’t harm its reputation,” the spokesperson says.

“Champollion’s work has involved interview preparation for the mayor, along with help for press officers in preparing for calls from journalists.”
http://www.prweek.com/article/1288920/newsmaker-takki-sulaiman-tower-hamlets-panorama-problems

So how does our £80,000 per year job candidate get on with the press historically? PR Week’s article continues:

“A difficult relationship with the media appears to be a theme with Sulaiman.  [well, that’s a little bit of a downside; maybe that’s why he’ll only cost us £80K]

“Ted Jeory, a Sunday Express journalist who also has a blog on east London politics, Trial by Jeory, argues Sulaiman’s approach to working with the press is about placing “barriers in the road” rather than developing relationships.

““The council doesn’t have the best of reputations for transparency and his overly defensive, bordering on aggressive attitude doesn’t help overcome that,” says Jeory. “He’s a former politician, of course, and I get the impression the argumentative nature required in that field has spilled over.””

It looks that between Takki and Aberdeen Journals we’re set to get even more of the straight-talking, fact-based, unbiased reportage that we’ve come to expect. The city’s secrets will be in a safe pair of hands soon – don’t worry.

Vaping: (New English gerund) Process of vaporising products such as tobacco and inhaling the vapour instead of smoke. Billed as a safe alternative (?) to smoking.

It is a bit confusing to Old Susannah – vaping may be completely safe – but we don’t know that yet for certain and everyone seems to be at it. We do know smoking is dangerous and often deadly – but laboratories are still making money by forcing animals to inhale smoke and get diseases. Something seems just a little bit wrong there. Vape to your hearts are content; it seems that there is no secondary smoke. But as to whether or not vapers are damaging their health, the jury is out.

United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP): (Modern English  proper noun) New political party gaining ground, considered by some to be the safe alternative (?) to conservatives, Lib Dems, BNP and Labour

So UKIP has won further power in UK politics. UKIP is seen by its supporters as the alternative to the other political parties. Which of course it is. Putting aside UKIP’s views on immigrants, women, religious tolerance, homosexuality and so on, it’s a great choice.

Congratulations to all those who’ve switched to  UKIP. We’ve not seen anything like this before in Europe. Except in the 1930s. In Germany. What can possibly go wrong with putting in place a government that fears foreigners?

Nuclear Power: (Modern English compound noun) Energy produced by atomic reactions, considered by some to be the safe alternative (?) to fossil fuels.

Nuclear power is clean, wonderful, efficient, and will stop us depending so much on foreign energy. Result!  It’s the safe way to go, so we’re told by a few engineers and energy leaders, all of whom I assume are completely objective in their support for nuclear power.

In a story a few weeks back, The Engineer reported:

“British scientists are to research whether a new type of supposedly safer, smaller, cheaper nuclear reactor could help reduce the UK’s radioactive waste stocks.”

Safe and cheap. That’s how we like our nukes. We were previously assured ad nauseum that nuclear energy is safe. That is, except for Chernobyl, Fukushima, and closer to home another release of radioactive material following a fire at Douneray.

But don’t worry – everything is fine, what’s a little (more) radiation, and in a shocking development, lessons will be learned.  Somehow lessons seem to get learned after the horse has bolted or after the tritium has escaped into the atmosphere or sea, but the important thing is, the people in power are learning.  The BBC wrote:

“DSRL said trace amounts of tritium were released and did not pose a risk to the public. No-one at the plant was hurt in the early morning incident. The Caithness site’s fire brigade extinguished the blaze in the PFR’s sodium tank farm within 30 minutes.

“Managing director Mark Rouse said DSRL has been served with an improvement notice by the nuclear industry’s regulators. He said: “Our investigation identified unacceptable behaviours and practices that fell well short of our values and standards. It is important to take the time to ensure as many lessons are learned from this incident as possible.”

As well as our experts learning yet more lessons, we’re assured that everything is perfectly safe. I’m sure you find that as comforting as I do. What’s the odd fire at a nuclear power plant every now and then anyway?

So there you have it – we’re all completely safe. Phew. There may be fires at nuclear plants that have ‘unacceptable behaviours and practices’ – but lessons are being learned.

There may be no other alternative than to vote UKIP – I’m sure that will be consequence free and safe as well. We can vape as we see fit. We’ll be safe the next time Aberdeen City throws a festive party with security guards, police, anti-climb paint and crowd barriers. The city’s secrets – not that it has any – will be safely guarded by Takki Suliaman going forward. Nothing to worry about.

It’s just as well I didn’t mention the fact that our local NHS is leaving our private patient files lying about in supermarkets.

Next week:  More on document security, privacy, spying – and other things that keep us safe. Tally ho!

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