We wanner’t doon ti the beach ‘Twis jist the ither day Waves they cam rollin in An gulls war aat their play . Waves they are aa different Some saftly lap the shore Ither eens cum rushin in Wi a crash an affa roar . Lis’nin ti the waves some say Is a pastime aat is fine Waves slowly creepin ower the sand Can calm a troubl’t myn . Canute fair grew tired o flattery Fowk said the sea he cwid command The king set oot ti prove ‘em wrang An pit his throne amang the sand . Gyaang back the mannie roared Bit the sea kept rollin in Canute he proved ye canna rule The sea or waves therein
The Donald’s bocht a golf resort Doon on the Ayrshire coast A’ll get ti host The Open Wull noo be his prood boast . Thirty Five million he did spen He got Turnberry fer a snip Es o coorse micht mean Interest in Menie taks a dip . Jist cast yer myn back Fin winfairms he did detest The mannie made a vow In Scotland he’d nae mair invest . Fit ti mak o ess U-turn As he cums crawlin back Bein economical wi the truth The chiel still his the knack . Hud on a wee meenitie tho’ It micht nae be plain sailin The spectre o affshore winfairms Cwid yet hae Trumpie wailin . Marine Scotland it his reported Aboot a site jist oot at sea Far ye cwid plunk win turbines They’d be richt in Donald’s ee
Fergus Ewing says ess plans Fer noo are aff the radar Yet fair refused ti rule oot Returnin ti them later . If a winfairm cam ti pass Wid The Donald then renege? Or wid he maybe in a rage Blaw up yon Ailsa Craig . At Doonbeg he’d ti stop some wark Did he nae hae richt permission? He can tho’ noo gyaang aheid Maybe efter a new submission? . Micht Donald hae fresh concerns A snail in Ireland is protectit Bi speecial environmental laws An ess canna be correctit . Trump says he’s gyaan ti wark Wi environmentalists an sic fowk If he’d deen aat ower in Menie He micht nae bin classed a gowk . Noo ere’s nae doot the mannie Oot the news he winna bide Wull we next aa be hearin The bugger’s bocht the River Clyde
A weel aff mannie ca’ed Kohle Stairtit a row maist unholy Jist move aa yer boats An pit ‘em on floats An tak ‘em awa ti a storie . Ess chiel his decreed His letters fowk heed Dinna dee fit he wints Wull the bugger charge rints? As access ti shore he dis need . Fisher fowk fae Cove Bay View aa ess wi dismay They’ll kick up a stoor Agin ess bliddy boor His gemme they’re nae gyaan ti play . Auld Jock Ritchie fae Cove Micht hae said noo by jove “Wi canna hae ess, Yer jist takkin the piss An ma boatie a’m nae gyaan ti move”
Is Mr Kohle in transition O destroyin a tradition Fishers aye used the shore Their gear fer ti store Are they tae bow in submission . Ma wife is Cove bred An ess maan be said Fin she heard o Kohle’s scheme Oot her lugs cam the steam Sayin Cove culture’s noo dead . Cove fowk are fair wishin We aa sign their petition Ti show Prahlad Kohle His ideas they are folly An tae keep the fishin tradition . Use yer moose or yer pen An a’m sure ye aa ken The fisher fowk o Cove Bay They shud hae their day Ess message ti Kohle we sen
Aberdeen Voice’s ‘poetry mannie in residence’ Bob Smith revisits the land of Lear and returns with more topical limericks.
There is a mannie ca’ed Trump Fa is a maist affa grump Fin nae gettin his ain wye Wid lit oot ess cry Menie a micht hae ti dump . There is a chiel named Tucker Ti some he wis a richt f- -ker Ti “The Donald” aywis fawnin Fin the Trump era wis dawnin Some fowk he played fer a sucker . A lad doon in Glesga ca’ed Ally His team wisna able ti rally The Gers hidna a clue Their fans war fair “blue” Raith Rovers war haen a ball eh? . There wis a young loon ca’ed May Fer St Johnstone he won the day Aiberdeen fans were pissed Fin chunces war missed Nae Cup Final fer Dandies in May . There is a mannie fae Muse Fa tries ti mak us swally a ruse “Fowks views we did heed Bit gless biggins we need Gweed views ye’ll jist hae ti lose” . Scotland’s First Meenister “Wee Eck” Micht he hae the poond or the maik Wull “big business” pull oot An doon ti England fair scoot Leavin Scotia’s economy a wreck . There is an MP ca’ed Miller Fa didna pye back a the siller She bint a fyow rules Took us aa fer richt fules Her hans nae langer on tiller . There is a chiel Davie Moyes Fa tried oot aa o his ploys Yet Man Utd got beat Fans stairtit ti bleat An oot their prams cam the toys . There wis young fella named Leigh Fa plays fitba fer Celtic FC. Is Griffiths jist a daft loon Wi nithing unner his croon? Or a dyed in the wool racist “b”? . A politican mannie Farage On TV he fair wis in charge Nick Clegg wis ootfocht As mair votes he socht Wull UKIP noo mount a barrage
A new anthem for Aberdeen Football Club has been launched ahead of the Dons’ Scottish cup semi final with St Johnstone.
Topically titled The Sheep Are On Fire it has been described as:
“a comedic but very groovy tune that celebrates everything that is great about Aberdeen FC”.
To celebrate the birth of his son, Matthew, on the 21st March, just five days after the Dons lifted the League Cup, their first cup triumph in 19 years, best selling author and award winning poet, Sid Ozalid wrote a 18 verse poem about all the Dons players he has watched since the first match he attended in 1969. (AFC v Morton – Reserves)
He shared it with his friend Jim Shepherd of Jasmine Minks (Creation Records / Poptones Records / Alan McGee Signings) and the rest they say is history. Sid did have to cut it back to 3 verses, but thankfully, such lyrical gems as ‘Heid like a spud, Willo Flood’ and ‘Big Eck, Powder keg, face like a scrambled egg’ survived the edit.
When the Dons last won the League Cup in 1995, Sid was broadcasting weekly on Northsound Radio and had lots of ‘fitba’ chat with a young sports reporter called Richard Gordon. Sid had no choice but to invite him to take part in the recording.
Richard, now BBC Scotland Football Commentator, was happy to oblige and duly provided a spoof commentary which name-checks many Dons greats of the past as well as a few more recent red shirted heroes.
Sid also invited friends from other Aberdeen bands he had worked with from the 70’s, 80’s through to the present day. He likes to call them ‘The Sheep Shaggers Male Voice Choir’ and they – Fred Wilkinson (Toxik Ephex), Alan Davidson (The Kitchen Cynics), Wattie Duncan (Jasmine Minks) and Jeremy Thoms (Cathode Ray) to name a few – don’t appear to have any objections.
Sid’s only regret is that he feels he would have mustered a much larger flock had he not sent the invites out in the early hours of April 1st, but conversely, has come to the conclusion that this ploy was essential in rallying the ‘right’ kind of people for the task.
The barn wis wash’t and scrubbit doon A job ower hard for ae wee loon Seen aa the fleer wis fine an clean Ready for a dustin o slipperene
Neipers an freens fae aa aroon Cam doon the road ti wir fairm toon There ti hae a dunce an celebrate The hinmaist shaif throwe the cornyaird gate
There wis streamers hingin fae the roof As roon the fleer the fowk did hoof Gay Gordons, waltzes and foxtrots Maist fowk wis swatin lots an lots
Music wis provided by twa chiels Aabody got up fer an eichtsome reel Syne fin they needed a wee bit rest Samplin the food they did wi zest
Pies sandwiches an scones wi jam Teas lemonade or maybe a dram We aa sat aroon an hid a blether Aboot the price o coos or the affa wither
Time ti gyang hame aroon een o clock Some fowk in the mornin wid hae ti yoke The horse up ti the sma box cairt Fin gaitherin neeps they micht hae ti stairt
The 100th anniversary o the death O a gweed mannie fae Dunbar Fa left ess shores fer America Stravaigin near an far . John Muir wis ess chiel’s name An environmentalist o renown A philosopher an explorer Cwid be added ti his crown . In America he is weel kent Yet in Scotia nae sae muckle Ti fin oot aboot ess legend Doon ti learnin we maan buckle . The faither o conservation in USA A founder o the Sierra Club Is jist twa o the monikers On John Muir we cwid dub
Explore, discover an cherish Wis ess mannie’s philosophy We’re aa pairt o the naitural warld Love wild places wis his decree . He fair likit the wilderness Free fae touch o human han Ower muckle interference fae man The chiel jist cwidna stan . The John Muir Trust in Scotland Cairries on Muir’s philosophy An maks sure we learn mair An git telt o his legacy . Cherish weel oor wild lans Try oot the John Muir Way Connect wi the mannie’s ideas An lit nature hae its say
By Bob Smith.
