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Menie Heroes And Villains: Part 1 – Heroes

Aberdeenshire, Featured, Information 6 Responses »

Feb 042013

In the fourth part of the series The Menie Estate, Suzanne Kelly looks at the roles different people played in writing the Balmedie Coast’s future. There were those who tried to uphold existing planning and environmental laws such as Martin Ford and Debra Storr. They were vilified and even assaulted in the case of former Councillor Storr.

Public servants and politicians held meetings with the Trump organisation while planning matters were pending, contrary to protocol – if not to law. At least one town planning professional seems to have colluded with Trump while the application was pending. This is the first half of the story of the people involved – that of the heroes.

Part 1: Heroes

In a perfect world, a world some of us thought was guaranteed by existing legislation, no one would be treated like the residents of the Menie Estate have been. The environment would have been likewise valued and protected, particularly as the land in question included a SSSI.

Local planning laws would have been respected, and councillors who sought to uphold existing laws would not have been mocked merely for upholding enshrined principles.

The national government would not have interfered in pending planning matters or discussed pending applications with interested parties. Journalists would have been free to report on stories without being arrested. Unfortunately, that world doesn’t exist.

In the face of powerful opposition, there were those who tried to do the right thing by law. There were people who used film and fine art to illustrate the issues. There were those who took a principled stand against the controversial development. And then there were some whose daily lives were made needlessly stressful, while the threat of compulsory purchase powers overshadowed their lives.

When I met with Menie Estate residents on 12 January 2013, some of them were keen to express thanks to people who have helped, or tried to help. This is a partial account of some of these remarkable people, who have made a difference.

Martin Ford

Vilified by the local press, Aberdeenshire Councillor Ford is mostly known to the public for his casting the vote which turned down the development when it was first voted on.

By rights, that should have been the end of the matter, but acting without precedent, the Scottish Government called the plans in. Ford voted against Trump’s golf course for tangible, logical reasons. These were many and complex, but included the fact the development would destroy (at least in part) the fragile SSSI site and compromise the ecology of the area.

The Trump plan to part finance the course and club was to build hundreds of holiday homes – something which meant a significant deviation from existing policy. For upholding existing law he was branded a ‘traitor’, vilified and abused in local media. His paper on the subject can be found at http://www.andywightman.com/docs/martin_ford_ch.pdf

Anthony Baxter & Richard Phinney

Baxter and Phinney are the men behind the documentary ‘You’ve Been Trumped’ – which beautifully illustrates the Menie situation environmentally, socially and procedurally.

They were arrested while filming, as is dramatically captured in the film. The arrest was for ‘breach of the peace’ on the say-so of a Trump employee.

They had gone to the estate office to ask how when water would be returned to the residents – Trump’s construction workers had managed to dam the water supply and left people without running water for a week with no help, apology or explanation.

If anything, the film makers were treated rather poorly by the site personnel. Later, while at Susan Munro’s house and despite being journalists, they were arrested and their equipment seized. A National Union of Journalists spokesperson said:-

“I think this must be one of the first cases in this country of journalists being arrested for just carrying out interviews to establish the truth and hold people to account.”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/sep/12/film-makers-arrested-donald-trump-scottish-golf-resort

Later the charges were dropped (Baxter learnt this from the Guardian newspaper – not the police). While that might sound like a good outcome, it meant the police were never forced to account for the arrest, and Baxter and Phinney never got their day in court to give their side or clear their names properly.

Freedom of Information Requests by me and by others were answered with poor excuses, including the police claiming they were not able to give information on criminal charges brought against other people (the charges had been dropped when I wrote).

Baxter and Phinney largely financed the film themselves (Anthony Baxter mortgaged his home). ‘You’ve Been Trumped!’ went on to win awards around the world, shocking audiences wherever it played. The local press did not mention this film for a year, even when it premiered in Aberdeen, selling more quickly than the latest Harry Potter film had, or when it won awards world-wide.

Eventually David Ewen of the Evening Express wrote a piece on the film after its premier on national television; Ewen claimed ‘Baxter was unavailable for comment’ in his initial piece, even though the two men spoke within hours of Ewen’s first contact, according to Baxter.

Ewen, by the way, is author of a book entitled ‘Chasing Paradise – Donald Trump and the Battle for the World’s Greatest Golf Course,’ with a forward by Donald Trump. It was available at the Press & Journal/Evening Express shop in Aberdeen until the shop closed. The local press has supported the Trump faction from the outset. More on this support will appear in the next in this series of articles.

More information about ‘You’ve Been Trumped!’ can be found here: http://www.youvebeentrumped.com/youvebeentrumped.com/THE_MOVIE.html

Debra Storr

The former Aberdeenshire councillor has, like her colleague Ford, been vilified for her vote against the course. Like Ford she has spent time talking with the residents. She was assaulted on her own doorstep by a woman who supported Trump.

Correspondence between her and Dr Christine Gore (more on her later) can be found at http://www.debrastorr.org/2009/10/for-information-correspondence-between.html .
One thing this exchange shows is that the unelected were taking decisions which councillors felt they should be voting on.

Sam Coull

This former Aberdeenshire councillor also showed concern for the environment and compassion for the residents as Storr and Ford had. He did not mince words when he declared:

“I have seen and heard enough from your Trump to last me a lifetime – don’t send me any more of his simpering platitudes. No more – do you read me?”

Paul Johnston

Another Aberdeenshire councillor, he was disciplined for claiming Trump got a ‘sweetener’ from the shire (i.e. the taxpayer) in the form of land worth some £5 million. This was apparently so Trump would build 98 affordable homes. Whether or not these homes will emerge, and what will be deemed ‘affordable’ remains to be seen.

However, it appears the homes will not be anywhere near the aspirational course and clubhouse, as there are not enough local amenities.

These four councillors were the subject of a demand by the Trump Organisation to Aberdeenshire Council – Trump sought to have then excluded from any debates on the use of compulsory purchase orders (a means by which private land and homes can be bought if absolutely necessary – for municipal projects). Trump apparently branded these four ‘scoundrels’.

Dr David Kennedy

Dr Kennedy, a respected academic, returned his degree to Robert Gordon University (chancellor – Sir Ian Wood) when the decision was made to grant Trump an honorary doctorate. Kennedy’s views are summed up and captured eloquently in ‘You’ve Been Trumped!’

Alicia Bruce and David McCue – Artists

Whatever history eventually makes of this tale, two artists have captured the players for posterity.

Portrait artist David McCue features in ‘You’ve Been Trumped’; an exhibition of his portraits of Trump on site in the Forbes’ property were hung to great effect.

The portraits of Trump embody avarice and aggression; they contrast with the cooler colours and dignified portrait of Michael Forbes.

Alicia Bruce re-creates important paintings from all periods in art history as photographs of contemporary people and situations. Her works include powerful, defiant images of the Forbes family posed with pitchfork outside their barn, echoing ‘American Gothic’, (this piece was recently on show in the Royal Academy, Edinburgh) and an endearing, sensitive portrait of Molly Forbes with a gaggle of geese.

On her visits to the estate to take photos, Bruce has been accosted and aggressively treated by security forces. A recent such episode is documented here. http://www.aliciabruce.co.uk/news/trump-security-duckrabbit-the-daily-mail/

Tripping Up Trump

Tripping Up Trump is the pressure group which has stood against Trump and the destruction of the environment. The website provides the latest developments, information on past news, and other resources. The membership has swollen since the BBC screened ‘You’ve Been Trumped’ – which Trump tried unsuccessfully to prevent. Their mission statement is below; the website is http://www.trippinguptrump.com/ They are also found on Facebook and Twitter

Tripping Up Trump (TUT) has established itself as the popular movement against the use of compulsory purchase for private profit. TUT’s campaign has stood alongside the people and protected environment threatened by Donald Trump’s development in Aberdeenshire.

The TUT campaign has been key to Donald Trump’s retreat from the use of compulsory purchase orders.

The threat of forced evictions was deliberately held over the heads of the Menie families for nearly two years. Donald Trump’s track record shows he cannot be trusted to behave reasonably towards his neighbours or act responsibly towards the environment. He has bullied and mislead from the start.

TUT is committed to supporting the rights of the families at Menie and will highlight and seek to stop any further bullying or other wrongs by the Trump Organisation in Scotland.

We need your support. Please spread the word and join this important campaign.

Finally, the real heroes are the men and women who are trying to live normal lives in their homes at the Menie Estate.

Many have been there for decades; all of them love the land, the flora and fauna, and simply want to get on with their lives. As documented by Baxter, they have been tested in the extreme, quite unnecessarily and aggressively so.

Blocked water supplies, trespass, property damage, snapped power lines and aggressive security and greens-keeping personnel have all overstepped the mark in their treatment of these people. And yet they have all managed to do something Trump can’t quite master: they have kept their cool.

If anyone wishes to send them messages of support, letters, etc., please contact Aberdeen Voice; we will pass items to them for you.

Villains

There are many other heroes in the tale; but it was the villains who carried the day. It is really their story currently being enacted at Menie; without their actions (and indeed their interactions), things might be quite different. Who they are, how they are linked to each other, and some of their actions will be covered in Menie Heroes And Villains: Part 2 – Villains.

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Old Susannah No. 110 – Ding Dong, The Web Is Dead

Opinion, Satire and Humour 4 Responses »

Feb 022013

Voice’s Old Susannah takes a look over the past week’s events in the ‘Deen and beyond. By Suzanne Kelly.

Bells rang out; glasses clinked as toasts were made; there was dancing and connectivity in the streets (although stolen cars whizzed by). Champagne corks popped dynamically. After many long years, the granite web has been sent to the land of ‘the tooth fairy and unicorns.’ This web has ceased to be. It is an ex-web.

Coincidentally, and I am sure completely without malice, the SNP immediately warned Aberdeen not to count on extra cash from central government. This cash should be coming from increased business rate tax collection (or the tooth fairy – details are hazy).

Nicola Sturgeon apparently still insists that the only way Aberdeen will get any money is to raise our garden to street level, according to a leaked letter.

Whether this garden-raising demand is enshrined in law somehow seems just a touch dubious. But, Sturgeon or no, we are not having a granite web. And that is a result.

No more pictures in newspapers of perfectly groomed flower beds and outdoor stages in front of theatres. No more drawings of steep ramps ascending to great heights, only to descend again for no real reason, free from any safety features, structural supports or architectural rationale. We’ll not see the woman sitting in the green grass growing over the potato-shaped wedge of concrete or the giant floating boy any more.

Skateboarders, graffiti artists, ACSEF members and Sir Ian are thought to be inconsolable. However, with his £50 million soon to arrive to help African charities, the end of the web project isn’t all bad. Every granite web has a silver lining.

Other than that, Old Susannah had a delicious, fun, engaging time at Norwood Hall’s Burns Night Supper. The company was great; the food was special (best haggis, neeps & tatties dish ever), the conversation was genuinely vibrant and dynamic. The man who addressed the haggis did so in great style.

On Friday it will be time to see local improv troupe Wildly Unprepared, which just celebrated its one-year anniversary last week. This week’s show starts at 8pm in The Belmont Cinema.

On Saturday, I’ll probably take my usual jog around the lighthouse in Torry (have to keep fit somehow). Running by the Nigg Golf Club, I get to see golfers out in all sorts of weather – extreme winds, torrential rains, snow, you name it.

I conclude these golfers are very fit people, especially if you compare them to protestors in New York City, which must be a very fragile breed indeed. A one-hour long Manhattan protest was called off this week, as the winds might have reached 20 miles per hour. Safety first I guess. But perhaps there was something more to this protest being halted.

And with that, time for this week’s definitions.

Rent-a-mob (mod. Eng. compound noun) – a group of people who seem to be endlessly attending protest after protest, especially if organised by grass roots leaders.

The above definition from the excellent Urban Dictionary needs to have a second meaning added. This may possibly due to the intervention of Trump organisation supporters. Old Susannah is happy to explain.

Adverts appeared on the intranet; an organisation called Ovation was willing to pay stand-ins, extras, and just random people $20. All you had to do was be in New York City on Wednesday 30 January and stand behind ‘speakers’ at a protest in front of the British Embassy in Manhattan. Of course most people in New York would gladly have spent an hour fighting UK renewable energy for nothing.

Still, this very generous offer from Ovation was I’m sure just a nice way to say ‘thank you’ to New Yorkers for doing their civic duty by telling the UK not to put up wind farms. It must have been a generous act, otherwise to the cynical it might have looked as if someone was trying to manufacture a stage-managed, fake protest for their own personal ends

I wonder who might have wanted to pay people to back up protest speakers in this situation. I suppose we could try and make a wild guess. For openers, whoever put out this open call for a rent-a-mob would have to have some kind of connection both to Manhattan and the UK. Second, they would have to have something against wind turbine energy.

Third, it would have had to be someone with lots of money to rent, – sorry – to reward the would-be protestors. Fourth, it would have had to be someone with something to gain by acting against wind farms being built in the UK. Yes, it will be hard to find anyone fitting this description. I’m totally stumped.

Even sadder still is that this noble paid protest somehow got rumbled. The person who first found the advertisements alerted the ‘Tripping up Trump’ Facebook page (although I can’t imagine why they decided to tell this particular group about it).

The British Consulate and New York media were alerted. The ads which had been in publications such as Craig’s List, suddenly disappeared. But before we could find out who the mystery anti wind farm warrior was, they showed an even more generous side to their nature. The reason given for the protest being called off was that it was going to rain. And, the winds might even have gone up to 20 miles per hour.

It does occur to me that Trump International on the MenieCoast said it would have jet-setting pro golfers and celebrities year round, and a round of golf on this course could take about 2 hours. All I can say is I’m glad Trump golfers will not have to face anything as harsh as rain or 20 mph winds. I wonder if you get your money back if the weather gets that severe and you can’t play golf?

Frost Jacking (mod. Eng. compound noun) the theft of a motor vehicle which the owner is trying to clear of snow and ice before it can be driven.

Never mind any Stig-themed car stealing Facebook Pages; things have moved on and taken a seasonal turn. Frost-jacking seems to be the new fashionable grand theft auto crime. This past week in Belfast, on one morning 9 cars were stolen in 90 minutes.

When the weather is very harsh and cold (even worse than rain and 20 mph wind), people will start their icy cars in the morning to melt the frost and heat the interior. Unfortunately, some of these people haven’t got the memo that there is actually a small bit of car crime going on, so they leave their cars running, getting nice and warm, and they go back into their houses.

Amazingly, some thieves are finding it convenient to steal an unwatched, running, warmed up car. Who would have thought?

Still, I’m sure that crime around the UK is set to take a sharp nosedive, as a new, brilliantly clever police initiative is announced by the ConDems.

Police ‘Direct Entry’ Scheme (UK Government initiative) – a scheme in which highly-ranked foreign police personnel will be allowed to join the UK’s police in senior positions over the promotion of existing UK police personnel.

What could be a better idea than sprucing up UK’s policing than by putting in foreign government police officials in charge? I can’t think of anything that could go wrong there.

Existing police who are hopeful of working their way up the ranks will be delighted to be passed over in favour of police from other countries. Obviously legal, cultural, social, and political bumps may need to be smoothed out. It might take a few days or even a week or two for someone with no experience of policing in the UK to get to grips with our laws, arrest procedures and so on, but let’s give it a go, shall we?

Apparently, this great scheme is going to be the end to all problems, such as that lovely Leveson enquiry had a wee look at, by wiping out corruption. It is going to accomplish this by promoting people much quicker, and getting foreign police supremos to take the top policing jobs here.

According to the BBC, the brains behind this new plan (Police Minister Damian Green) said there was direct entry in other services, including the Army and the prison service. Fair enough – those sectors are in great shape. Green apparently commented:-

“… there is no organisation in the world that cannot get better and it must be the case that if you widen the pool of talent, then you will get even better policing in this country.”

Fantastic. Perhaps they can incorporate some of the USA’s armed response philosophies, or other countries search and seizure policies (search warrants optional), or even some of those extremely effective interrogation techniques found in other countries still.

I believe the law is still on the books in Singapore that vandalism is dealt with by fines, custodial terms and caning (which will split the skin and leave permanent scars). I’m sure high-ranking police there will fit right into how we do things here. Turkey may be in the EU, but there are still a few wee issues such as alleged torture, and arrest of journalists. Oh wait, we’re already doing that here.

Anyway, let’s get some of those police officials here; I’m sure it won’t take them any time to whip our laws into shape and lead our police to better practices. Result!

For some reason or other, Steve White, vice-chairman of the Police Federation, seems to think police need to learn police work through first-hand experience and through progressing through the ranks over time. I hope he overcomes this old-fashioned idea before it gets him in trouble.

So, just when you think the ConDems can’t do any more for us, they surprise you again. Thanks guys.

Next week: more definitions, more news, and the latest crime fads revealed.

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Dunes, Goons & Bliddy Buffoons

Aberdeenshire, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Jan 242013

By Bob Smith.

Menie’s a mess,
A hiv tae confess
Trumpie’s coorse his an extra hole
Near the 4th tee,
Fit a tae dee
Mither Naitur his noo teen her toll
.
A’m nae aat surprised,
The chiel wis advised
Nae tae meddle wi the shiftin sands
Trump stuck oot his chest,
Sayin a ken fit’s best
Bit watter’s teen things oot his hans
.
Like King Canute,
The Donald fun oot
Watter it aye his the last say
If yer drains are nae gweed,
An they stairt tae ”bleed”
Wee burns they flow like the Tay
.
Noo a wee narra road,
Tae the Munro’s abode
Is churned up wi mud an potholes
Efter larries fae afar,
Hid roched up the tar
Ye’d think there’d bin an invasion o moles

Amang aa the dunes,
Lurk Trumpie’s big goons
They mak yer waak richt fractious
Fin they div folla,
Ower hump an holla,
An maybe use ye as target practice
.
It’s plain tae see,
Aat the orra numptie
Hisna heard o the “Richt tae roam”
Wull The Donald desire,
Tae erect barbed wire
As at the mooth he dis foam
.
So Trumpie ma freen,
If advice ye’d teen
An the shiftin dunes ye’d by-passed
Aathing micht hae bin fine,
If ye’d shifted the line
O yer gowf coorse a wee bittie wast
.
Bit fowk like yersel,
Fowk nivver can tell
So Donald ye’ll learn the hard wye
Mither Naitur she rules,
Ower eejits an fules
An fowk faa think they’re richt fly.

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Not Members Only: In Conversation with Nigel Bennett

Articles, Featured, Opinion 1 Response »

Jan 242013

After many years in the music industry as a lead guitarist and side man, acclaimed UK rock musician Nigel Bennett released his debut solo album, Truth Or Consequences, on October 23, 2012 (Zip Records) in North America. The CD will be released in Europe in January 2013. Suzanne Kelly gets talking to Nigel about his new CD, touring, talent shows – and Donald Trump.

Bennett, lead guitarist for the British punk band The Vibrators, is taking centre stage as he flexes his musical virtuosity as a solo performer and front man. Truth Or Consequences features 13 tracks that highlight Bennett’s appreciation for styles ranging from country-tinged melodies to hard rock instrumentals to reggae.

Pat Collier produced the album (Primal Scream, Robyn Hitchcock, The Vibrators). During Bennett’s reputable musical career, he has performed with and written a hit single for The Members (“Radio”) and toured with Julian Lennon.

In the heady days of the late 1970s, punk bands formed, changed personnel, and split up with ferocious frequency. Nigel Bennett started in the Punk scene as guitarist for the Members; more recently he toured with The Vibrators (on guitar in place of Knox, who has semi-retired).

We start by discussing his first solo album. Nigel tells me the album title ‘Truth or Consequences’ comes from one of the many long US tours he’s been on. Passing through the mid-West, the band drives past a sign for a town called ‘Truth or Consequences’ – he is intrigued. Apparently, the entire town voted to change its name to reflect the title of a popular television game show. Only in America.

The album has many influences, but there is a small touch of punk throughout most of it, whether in rockabilly/western/punk track Rubidoux, or in the lyrics of ‘Another Day’ – a break up song which is sad, but still lyrically a touch sarcastic and humorous, too. ‘The Edge’ is very much an American western instrumental; it is followed by ‘Breezy,’ a track which puts me in mind of classic American bands; it makes me think of acts from The Eagles to The Grateful Dead. Nigel tells me he likes all forms of music – anything that is performed well.

We talk about punk past and present. Nigel tells me:-

“For me Punk came from a time when there were very angry young people. (He mentions the strikes and the political problems). There are punks that reunite at ‘Rebellion’ [an annual music festival], but I don’t even know what a punk is any more… Does it mean you have a particular haircut and a pin in your nose? I think it’s an attitude. In The Members everyone was welcome whatever they wore. Punk was not a uniform.”

We discuss how the music was made in no small part by the turbulent times, and we talk about music today. Simon Cowell and today’s pop inevitably come to the surface. We wonder whether the proliferation of television talent shows hasn’t made people more interested in fame than in honing their musical skills.

“The thing is, people like virtuosity – human beings love to see another human doing something extraordinarily well, whether in music or like in the gymnastics in the last Olympics. To see someone playing brilliantly – I can’t get enough of that. There doesn’t seem to be as much of that now as there was in the past.

“Muse is good. One of the things I liked about the Who was those big, fat power chords they had – I remember sitting back as a kid and thinking ‘oh my god’ and then these chords were used by punk bands. Punk was terribly anti-establishment. I’d love to be rich any day, but to be famous – I don’t envy anyone who is famous.”

He asks me what’s going on in Aberdeen and in Scotland. An hour later, after I’ve told him the basics, he tells me of his paternal Scottish roots which are important to him (but he has no desire to open any golf courses). And what does he make of Donald Trump?

“He is as ridiculous as that toupee of his, and it’s a shame he’s been allowed to just take over. I love Scotland; there are such friendly people, even if it’s always freezing cold when I’m there. ”

Nigel’s new album may well displease punk purists; it can be difficult for some artists to move between genres.

We discuss the example of the violent reaction Jello Biafra received (he was seriously assaulted in a bar and called a ‘sell-out’, allegedly due to his straying from what purists wanted from him), while David Bowie at age 66 is releasing a new single, and reinventing himself once again.

Nigel says:-

“When you’re known for one thing, people tend to want to go to your shows for that thing. [Biafra] changed styles for his own creativity. Bowie on the other hand… it’s very clever the way he’s always reinvented himself; he’s not let anyone put him into a narrow band.”

“The whole thing about the album is that it’s showing another side of me. Punk is only one limited part of music. I had all these various ideas sort of lying around for a year or two or three unfinished, then the opportunity presented itself to do an album, so I started to write them down.

“I’m purely into all of this from the heart. I approached two record companies in America and they both offered me a deal so I took the best one. I always had America in mind for this album. Americans love guitar – country, rock – they appreciate it. Guitar rules America.”

We discuss the track ‘In my Dreams,’ which has a reggae feel to it.

“When I joined the Members, it was at a time when I went to all the auditions. You had to be very diverse. I went to an Iron Maiden audition; we politely mutually realised that it wasn’t a fit. But they’ve kept it going; they’ve made millions – and they’ve made millions of people happy with it. So – the ad I was responding to was for rock/reggae; some of the Members were very into Jamaican reggae, and I learnt about the off beat. It’s very much a summer song. It’s about a boy feeling very shy, and I can remember that as a teenager.

“Then I wrote ‘Another Day’. It’s not about any particular girlfriend; it’s about people breaking up and the memories that go with them.

“Singing is new to me, and I’ll write more songs for the next album with vocals. I need to learn to be a better singer. I’ve played lead for 30 years, but I’ve never fronted my own band.

“I know I’m in my mid 50s, but it’s never too late and there are no rules in music.”

Best of luck to Nigel Bennett in this and future projects.

PS – The album ‘Truth Or Consequences’ is available from Zip Records, and from good record stores – if they haven’t all had to close down. Goodbye One Up; Aberdeen will miss you.

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Menie Estate No. 3: Love Thy Neighbour Trump Style

Aberdeenshire, Featured, News 9 Responses »

Jan 182013

When Donald Trump bought the Menie Estate, it was the end of a peaceful life in the countryside for the existing residents. Anthony Baxter captured incidents in his award-winning documentary You’ve Been Trumped which caused outcry here and abroad. In Part 3 of a series on the Menie Estate, Suzanne Kelly finds out how life is now for Trump’s next-door neighbours.

Background

There are certain absolute rights UK citizens are supposed to enjoy, including the right to privacy and a right to go about their lawful business without interference. In Scotland, access to the countryside – whoever owns it – is guaranteed by the Land Reform (Scotland) Act 2003.

This act and the related Scottish Outdoor Access Code give responsible countryside visitors (and residents) the right to access hills, woods, grass fields and field margins, beaches, lochs, rivers and canals.

There are special provisions for golf courses; walkers must not interfere with play, keep dogs on a lead and so on.

Here is a paragraph from a brochure entitled Enjoy Scotland’s Outdoors published by Scottish Natural Heritage:

“Respect the interests of others.

“Respect the needs of other people enjoying or working in the outdoors and follow any reasonable advice from land managers. Respect people’s privacy and peace of mind. Avoid causing alarm to people, especially at night, by keeping a reasonable distance from houses and gardens or by using paths or tracks.”

So much for the theory; here is the reality in Balmedie.

Anecdotes

David Milne, Susan Munro and other residents shared their recent experiences with the AV team when we met. Artist and photo-journalist Alicia Bruce has also written of her recent experiences.

A local resident wanted to visit the Forbes family, who live on one side of the golf course. While walking towards the Forbes property, a security guard stopped the walker from going any further, even denying there were any buildings where the Forbes have long lived. The walker was forced to accompany the security guard to the ‘temporary’ clubhouse. In the walker’s own words:

“Eventually, after about 20 minutes, I was speaking to a chap named Eric over the phone. He eventually agreed I could walk along this track. I was wanting to go along and visit Mike and Sheila [Forbes].

“The security guard denied there were any houses. I said, ‘Yes, there are; you must drive past them several times a day’. Eric eventually agreed I could walk, but I would have to be followed by the security guard in his truck.”

Visitors to the estate can expect the third degree as well.

In one resident’s words:

“Friends were harassed by a greens keeper… walking down the track… one of the greens keeping staff saw them, approached them and apparently he was absolutely ballistic – they thought he was going to have a heart attack. ‘If you take one step off that path, you are breaking the law,’ he was saying.”

Another resident nods in agreement, telling me that they have heard variations of that story. Alicia Bruce has had a similarly aggressive run-in; details can be found at http://www.aliciabruce.co.uk/news/trump-security-duckrabbit-the-daily-mail/ . Alicia was threatened, and called the police. In this instance, the police cautioned the Trump security people.

Susan Munro is watched by security with some frequency when driving, and even when she is on her property. She has been a Menie Estate resident for over 30 years and as such should be well-known to security, as should the cars her family owns.

Nevertheless, she is often stopped by security, interrogated and identification demanded of her. This can be to the extent that when she returns from work late at night, men on foot will jump in front of her car from out of nowhere, and then demand ID. As she succinctly put it:

“I finished work last night and was stopped by security. It’s horrible when they jump out at you in the pitch black. They alarmed me. I am sick fed up with security hassling me.”

Susan has to use the Trump road at present as her own access road is, at the time of writing, completely out of use (see article 2 in this series – The Road’s A Ruin).

It must sit badly to have your own road in a state, and be accosted when using the only road available, one which is completely smooth and perfectly finished. However, that is not the end of Susan’s woes. They will be addressed shortly.

There are more such anecdotes, old and new. It is worth mentioning that some residents report run-ins with friendly security. While the ‘friendly’ security guards may not be unpleasant, what they are doing questioning the people who live on this estate is a mystery.

No one who has seen You’ve Been Trumped can forget the scene in which Baxter and Phinney are arrested for an alleged breach of the peace. They had filmed themselves visiting the estate manager’s office to ask when residents could expect their water supply to be restored.

They are unceremoniously dismissed (the estate personnel even makes an odd comment about the value of their equipment, which can be seen as a veiled threat). The film documents the arrest of two well-behaved journalists on the hearsay evidence of a billionaire’s employee.

We condemn such abuses of power in the third world, but it’s happened here in Scotland with absolutely no proper subsequent independent investigation. (More details can be found at https://aberdeenvoice.com/2012/10/bully-for-you-trump-threatens-suit-against-filmmaker/

Guns ‘n Woes

On top of years of intimidation and questionable tactics, at least one security firm previously employed (there have been at least two) used guards armed with pellet/air guns.

These guards would engage in target practice. One witness also saw a guard and a man with a rifle.

So we have residents constantly being stopped, harassed, and ‘jumped out at’ by ill-tempered and aggressive guards – some of whom used to have air guns.

It is almost as if the Trump organisation and its security firms use the SNH outdoor access policy as a laundry list of ways to bully.

The residents and I believe Trump’s security guards have acted in the above situations well beyond their legal authority. We also believe that security operatives are meant to display badges prominently. The residents confirm they have hardly ever seen any such badges; and none of us recall seeing any in the film You’ve Been Trumped either.

The security firm currently operating is Izon. A sign bearing their name appears at a locked gate which prevents cars from entering, which seems in contravention of free access laws. Anyone on foot, on bicycle or even on horseback should be able to access this (or any other) road.

Izon has been asked to comment on these issues and whether its operatives carry air/pellet/other types of guns. The company’s response will be reported in due course.

Visiting these people, living as they do with all sorts of imposed and unnecessary hardships, hits me hardest when we go to Susan Munro’s house. Walking down the damaged road (see Menie Series Pt 2) was bad enough.

But as we walk down towards the Munro house, a bund – an artificial, steep, and very high earthwork rises alongside the road, blocking out any views of the sea and landscape the Munros previously enjoyed.

The Trump Organisation has also used a similar tactic at the Milne property. Trump’s landscapers have attempted to put a row of conifers along the property boundary. If they were to grow, then Milne’s view of the sea would be gone. As it is, the trees are unable to grow in sand.

“Your first clue that they won’t grow is that there aren’t already any here,” is how David Milne puts it.

It is as if ‘The Donald’ thought he could stop the tides as well as make trees grow in sand.

Life goes on for the residents. At the time of writing it is understood the damaged roads are to be repaired. Aberdeen Voice will report when the ‘temporary’ bunds come down and when security stops accosting residents and visitors. I am just not sure when that will be.

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Menie Estate Series No. 2: The Road’s A Ruin

Aberdeenshire, Featured, News 12 Responses »

Jan 162013

Things are seriously amiss at the Trump International Golf Course and Menie Estate, as Aberdeen Voice’s Suzanne Kelly and photographer Rob discovered. Inspired by Anthony Baxter and Richard Phinney’s You’ve Been Trumped film, Kelly has followed developments at ‘the world’s greatest golf course’ with interest. On a recent visit, residents showed our team around the site and shared stories. In the second instalment of a series of articles, Kelly looks at the demise of the road infrastructure.

There are signs of flooding all over the Balmedie area. Damage to the course is dramatically illustrated in the article:

Menie Estate Series: Crazy Golf

But the course damage is only one aspect of how the estate is faring this winter; the residents have more practical and urgent problems.

Susan Munro has lived on the estate for decades. Alongside her house runs a road which had until recently been a smooth path.

It slopes gently down to Susan’s house on the north side, and now the golf course on the south.

“I’ve lived here for 30 years and this is the worst it’s been,” Susan says.

She is shaking her head, standing in the doorway of her home. At her feet are signs of flooding; a wet, sandy, muddy substance covers concrete slabs and seems sure to cause her drains to overflow. She is, however, mainly talking about the only access road to her home.

The road is virtually unusable.

When Trump came it was with ambitious plans and an assortment of construction vehicles. The access road had quite a lot to cope with. While it may sit on Trump-owned land, historically it served the residents as an access road.

It has, in the writer’s opinion (and that of several residents), been damaged badly as a result of construction vehicles and the run-off pipe or pipes.

Then the plastic pipes appeared, carrying run-off from the golf course area. One such pipe is clearly visible near the road on the opposite end from the Munro residence. This pipe seems to be carrying run-off from the course directly into the side of the road.

There is no drainage for this road. Already badly rutted from course construction traffic, it is being further eroded.

Not helping the matter is the construction of giant bunds – tall, steeply rising mounds of earth built along the length of this road and on the east side of the property border between Trump and Munro. (More on these bunds in a future article; they deserve a great deal of description).
Water runs down this now badly rutted dirt road, and as the road ends in the newly-constructed parking lot, a short gradient channels yet more water off the new parking lot tarmac onto the dirt road.

Finally, the Trump organisation has dug two gravel pits in a field between the Munro house and David Milne’s home; the field slopes down towards the road.

The idea seems to be that the first pit, filled with gravel and then covered would catch water, with the overflow going to the second pit.
The only place from there for water to go would certainly seem to be the damaged little access road.

It is unclear that any of these additions – run-off pipes, bunds, drainage pits, and slope from parking to the dirt road – had been given specific, clear planning permission.

In fact, I was promised the bunds were temporary when I wrote to Aberdeenshire Council in 2011. Temporary is a long time in this part of the world, it seems.

It would also seem no one from Aberdeenshire Council is making regular visits. It would seem obvious the council should ensure residents can access their historic road.

Considering that most of us living in the North East would have to apply for permission before changing the type of windows we have in our homes, why are such damaging, major modifications to the landscape being allowed with virtually no sign of proper approval process or assessments?

There is no suggestion on any part that these modifications are done to deliberately make life difficult for the residents. The fact remains though: this is just what they are doing.

The road is now so bad that Susan Munro cannot use it any longer.
In fact, if you had a 4×4 you would still face difficulties trying to drive down this road, not least because of the seriously dangerous gap which has opened up near its lower end.

This has had a few token objects such as a bag of building material (unopened) unceremoniously dumped into it, as if that were a remotely adequate or safe remedy to this dangerous situation.

Walkers would find nothing to warn them of the dangers of walking this road, either.

Fixing the road should not be too difficult; it should, in my opinion, be done quickly, by the council, and paid for almost exclusively by the Trump Organisation.

Trump is quick to condemn area residents who keep their property in a state he doesn’t like, yet this road is now a massive eyesore and can’t be used.

Perhaps if it were visible to his golfers it would be a different story, but that ‘temporary’ bund shields players’ eyes from this unpleasant reality.

At the end of this series of articles, a summary report of findings will be sent to relevant organisations including Trump International, Aberdeenshire Council Clerk of Works, councillors, and not least – the Health & Safety Executive.

In the meantime, Susan has to use the Trump parking lot and new road (with a perfectly smooth tarmac surface) to get off the estate.

How has that been working out for her?

How is she coping with the bunds? What are things like for her?

The answer is probably worse than you might imagine.

Residents’ experiences will be covered in the next article in this series on Friday morning.

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Estate residents have just been advised Leyton Farm Road will be closed 17 and 18 January. They believe this is for road repair work. Aberdeen Voice will report on the repair work once completed.

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Menie Estate Series: Crazy Golf

Aberdeenshire, Featured, News 28 Responses »

Jan 142013

4th tee a place with an unusual hazard photo by Rob of AV

Things are seriously amiss at the Trump International Golf Course and Menie Estate, as Aberdeen Voice’s Suzanne Kelly and AV photographer Rob discovered. On a recent visit they spoke to several residents and spent hours walking the area. Aberdeen Voice shares their findings in a series of articles.

King Canute demonstrated that although he was a wealthy king, he could not hold back the tides by standing on the shore as the tide came in. Trump did not get this memo.

There are signs of flooding all over the Menie Estate; this is not surprising as the North East is experiencing some of its wettest weather historically speaking.

But are things worse than if Trump hadn’t been there?

An arcane system of visible plastic pipes installed by the Trump organisation is not exactly helping things – well, not for common access roads and the residents, anyway.

Unlike some conservationists who objected to the golf course, the Trump people didn’t foresee what could happen when the weather got wild. How would the course hold up with the recent storms the North East experienced?

not as Trump intended a storm damaged part of the course near 4th tee photo by Rob AV

Aberdeen Voice and some locals took a walk to find out. We set out through the ‘temporary’ parking lot (which seems to lack specific planning permission) and headed to the course to investigate.

The path in question has the (formerly moveable) sand dunes and the North Sea on the east, and the course on the west.

In places, the course is very close to the sea indeed.

On our walk we found a large section of dune had crumbled. A World War II pillbox was newly covered by the falling sand and marram grass, planted to stabilise the dunes.

I guess Mother Nature hadn’t got that memo.

before the storm residents photo of area now collapsed

In some cases, children planted marram grass as part of a PR exercise.

The damage was striking.

While continuing our walk towards the fourth hole, we discovered a set of traffic cones ahead of us on the path.

It is just as well the light hadn’t yet faded – or we might have fallen several feet into a newly-opened chasm.

Approximately four feet of the golf course path has simply fallen into the sea at Blairton Burn. It is as if Mother Nature took a bite out of the course.

A large pipe leads out into the sea at this point.

Presumably if this pipe is being used for water runoff, it has been approved in advance by Aberdeenshire’s environmental and planning experts?
The pipe had no foundation, just sand around it.

The cross section of ground clearly visible from the course collapse shows that there is a thin layer of turf directly over the sand.

The end of the road for Trump Suzanne Kelly by collapsed section of course photo by Rob AV

How safe and secure this can be right on the edge of the North Sea is a concern.

Photographs illustrate this dramatic gap eloquently.

While there are cones warning of the huge gap, there is no protective fencing.

Even more worrying is that other sections of this portion of the 4th hole might likewise be ready to fall into the sea.

In the news this past week a couple bid £80,000 to come and play here, including transportation, meals, etc.

We wonder in what state they will find ‘The World’s Greatest Golf Course’ when they arrive.

As the dunes shift, and the course crumbles (in one place anyway), how are the residents faring? Not very well, as a subsequent article will demonstrate.

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Old Susannah No. 105: Season’s Greetings!

Opinion, Satire and Humour 3 Responses »

Dec 102012

Old Susannah casts her beady eye once more on the goings-on of the great, the good and the downright ugly! By Suzanne Kelly.

The chill in the air, a few days of snow, children behaving better than usual; this can only mean one thing.
Yes, it’s Christmas shopping time again. Seasonal goodwill is evidenced in every fight over a shopping mall parking space. The bon accord is clearly evident as women fight over the last sweater in the sale in the Bon Accord Mall.

Peace on earth is demonstrated as people elbow each other out of the way in each crowded shopping mall, or the strong nudge the weak away from the Apple Store’s latest product display, which will of course be replaced by a newer product the following week.

Christmas cheer is not very much on display for the residents of Hillside near Portlethen. It seems there will be no communal Christmas tree, as getting electricity to the site is beyond the technical nous of the local builder, one Mr S Milne.

The local authority, not at all resembling small-minded control freaks, have a policy where normally only one tree is permitted per area.

This year though, in a magnanimous gesture, they graciously allowed Hillside to have a tree as well as Porlethen! It is far too technically difficult to get electricity to the Hillside tree, however. Likewise there will be no lighting on the Hillside street lamps.

The lamps are made of a material which simply breaks up if hit by a car or truck – a safety feature, so I’m told (although how shattering lamp posts would stop a car careening into a house or person, or stop the streetlight itself from crashing down and injuring someone is a mystery to me). So – no lights and no tree.

This tale reminds me how Common Good Aberdeen ensured their jubilee garden party in Union Terrace Gardens would have a thing called a generator to run the show, in case they had any electricity problems.

I guess Hillside residents have bigger things to think about than the tree, such as the infrastructure initially promised which hasn’t exactly been made manifest yet, either. Despite early promises and assurances, the unlit Christmas tree would have increased amenities available to residents by 100%. As Councillor Mollison put it back in September:

“I know residents are eager to get started so that there can be a social heart to Hillside, something that is missing at present. At the moment there are houses, houses and more houses.”

We shall see if many new amenities spring up with alongside the new developments coming our way in city and shire; I am sure the developers will continue their joined-up, philanthropic, community-focused, environmentally sound philosophies in all things they do. The worst part, of course, is seeing the hopes dashed of all the children who dreamed of seeing Stewart throw the switch on their Christmas tree.

Old Susannah had a pleasant week with Christmas drinks and dinner parties starting a bit earlier than usual. Perhaps most fun was an event held by Shelagh at Torry’s Oil and Glass art and craft business.

Children of all ages were able to make either a glass Christmas star or glass ornament for a £5 donation; a pound from each ornament or star went to the VSA. Shelagh raised over £50 for this worthwhile charity (well done, and thanks for the mince pie as well).

It must be time for some seasonal definitions.

Pantomime (noun) ancient entertainment form normally adhering to certain formulas, such as telling a fairy tale, having a heroine, a hero, a villain and a pantomime ‘dame,’ commonly held close to Christmas time.

His Majesty’s Theatre will hold its annual pantomime this year but it may be outshone by a bigger pantomime taking place over on Twitter: two comic characters slugging it out in traditional Punch and Judy form, rivalling anything ever done by the ugly sisters.

Donald Trump and Alan Sugar are having their own little show with an enthralled audience laughing along. Donald tweets that a grateful Alan Sugar should ‘drop to his knees’ (‘oh myyy!’) and thank him. Sugar says Scotland doesn’t want Trump – how cruel! (Accurate, but cruel).

Without a trace of irony, Trump demanded Sugar tell the public his real financial worth. No doubt The Donald will make a similar disclosure. Things escalated, and surely Sugar was worried when no less a figure of moral probity than Piers Morgan has sided with The Donald.Sugar has some wild idea that wind farms are not necessarily a bad thing.

Let’s just hope Sir Alan doesn’t mention the Glenfiddich, or things could get even uglier (although that is hard to imagine).

Glenfiddich (proper noun) a brand name of whisky, originating with the Scottish Grant family.

One Christmas day back in 1887 a terrible tragedy-in-waiting occurred, and the first ever Glenfiddich whisky came forth from the still. No doubt if its distillers realised this brand would one day be an affront to Scotland’s main benefactor Donald Trump, the still would have been smashed and the project scuppered.

This upstart brand of whisky insulted the Donald by allowing the Scottish people to pick their Top Scot of the year – and no doubt by a hoax or an ‘orchestrated campaign’, this year’s winner is someone Donald doesn’t like. Glenfiddich hasn’t been reasonable on this point at all. Firstly, letting the people decide what they want isn’t something you’d catch our local or national governments doing.

Secondly, the award surely should have gone to Donald himself, for all the good he’s done to our area by creating millions of jobs, stabilising our movable sand dune system, and bringing us much-needed popularity and publicity we wouldn’t have otherwise.

Previous Top Scot winner J K Rowling was once a Lone Parent, and we remember what a bad bunch these can be, according to a former government in Downing Street. Thankfully, David Cameron will be harking back to that earlier appraisal of lone parents. He’s sticking it to these feckless individuals in the new budget, quite right, too.

It also looks like that nice Mr Osborne will open up Scotland for business – by allowing gas companies to search for gas on the mainland. Why waste time with renewable energy when we can pump chemicals, untold reserves of water, and even explosives into our countryside. What are a few earthquakes or contaminated water compared to being ‘open for business?’

Anyway, the Scottish public were told by Trump not to buy Glenfiddich, and that he was banning it from his classy golf courses and hotels forthwith. The makers of the single malt tried to shirk their responsibility by saying that people choose the award winner, but clearly that’s just not good enough. The people of Scotland have since rallied to Trump’s call. They are buying Glenfiddich and Grant whiskies as fast as they can.

Old Susannah has no doubt the motivation for these sales is not to drink a toast to Forbes with Glenfiddich, but rather so people can empty the alcohol down the drains, showing their esteem for the poor, slighted Trump. And so it should be.

If you see me leaving the shops with bags full of Grants and Glenfiddich, it will be so I can dispose of them, not so that I can enjoy one of the most delicious single malts our area has to offer, created in a lovely distillery which still uses water power in production in a very environmentally sound manner. Heaven forbid.

Many people contacted Trump’s golf course to offer to take the offending booze off Trump’s hands, but alas – all such philanthropic requests were turned down.

Practical Joke (compound noun) a gag or hoax designed to embarrass or otherwise humiliate the object of the exercise.

We all love a good practical joke, don’t we? What could be nicer, particularly at this time of year, than making a fool of another person? Where’s the harm in setting up someone for, let’s say, a telephone prank? It’s not really illegal, so that means there are no problems (unless you let something like ethics get in the way).

A nurse committed suicide over such a prank lately. The ladies receiving the hilarious joke phone call probably panicked, thinking that they were going to get in a lot of trouble if they didn’t do what the pranksters wanted, believing for some reason that no one would call a hospital for laughs, thereby deterring nurses from taking care of people.

Then, realising they were made to look idiots, probably fearing for their future careers and dreading the onslaught of inevitable media intrusion, one of those involved took their own life.

But let’s remember, the radio station involved ran all this through their legal department, which didn’t see any legal reason not to interrupt nurses from hospital work (work which is probably usually kind of dull, and not at all of life and death importance like being a DJ), impersonate the most powerful people in the country, and in the process intimidate an immigrant to the UK.

The two DJs involved said they couldn’t have foreseen anything like this. I’m sure they spent lots of time working out the possible outcomes and permutations of their actions, as all practical jokers do in advance. It’s also fine because after the fact, the radio station in question is going to review some of its procedures – can’t say fairer than that.

Our laws might have something different to say about the situation, but as long as the station manager and station legal team are fine, who are we to nit-pick?

Finally, the DJs are each receiving counselling and medical care. Let’s hope no one calls their doctors or nurses with innocent, cute prank calls, now.

Next week: perhaps a story on Stewart Milne saving the day at Hillside and springing for a generator? Or, more likely, more local and national definitions.

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A Yarn Fer Xmas

Creative Writing, Satire and Humour 2 Responses »

Dec 062012

By Bob Smith.

Eence upon a time there wis a boorachie o fowk fae bade near the seaside. There wis Paradise Molly plus her loon Pigsty Mike an Sheila his missus. Nae far awa wis Davie Blackbeard an his gweed wife Moira and jist doon the road bade Fiesty Susie an her faimily.

Noo they aa wint aboot their business richt happily tull a foreign invader ca’ed Baron Hairmop cam oot o the sky fae a far aff lan wi his henchman Hummel Doddie.

Baron Hairmop bocht the big hoose an some o the lan roon aboot an decreed he wis gyaan ti bigg a placie faar rich fowk cwid ging fer a waak hittin a wee fite ba wi sticks an there wis tae be a tavern wi rooms faar a bodie cwid sleep in atween enjoyin thersels .

As weel he wis tae bigg a fyow posh hoosies fer ither rich fowk tae buy or tae rint as placies fer their holidays. Bit sic things hid tae be lookit at bi jist ower a dizzen local mannies an wifies alang wi Green Marty fa hid the power tae refuse sic ideas.

They didna like the thocht o Baron Hairmop biggin on some gey special sand doons fit war aye on the move, so they wintit the chiel tae come back wi a plan fit wis a wee bittie chynged. Baron Hairmop wis fair fizzin. He wisna used tae fowk nae deein his biddin an said he wid move awa tae an emerald green isle if his ideas war refused.

Noo the heid bummer in aa Scotland, King Eck the Fish an his loyal courtier Johnnie Ninney were feart o Baron Hairmop cos he hid mair gold than them an they fancied some fer their kingdom. So they gied in tae Baron Hairmop’s threats an said, “jist gyang aheid min we’ll nae staan in yer wye”.

Iss fair pleased some o the local serfs faa hid knelt at the feet o Baron Hairmop pledgin their support fer aathing he did, at the same time rubbin their hauns wi glee at the thocht he micht throw a few mecks their wye.

Bit ither gweed fowk warna sae glaikit an thocht the Baron wis mair an likely tae skedaddle wi maist o his loot.

the king winted tae bigg a fyow windmills close tae faar fowk wid be hittin the wee fite bas wi sticks

Noo Baron Hairmop wis ee’in up the hoosies an bitties o grun fit Paradise Molly, Pigsty Mike, Davie Blackbeard an Feisty Susie ained an tried tae buy them oot. “Tak a hike min”, wis their reply, wiv nae intinshun o movin. Iss fair hid Baron Hairmop teerin his hair an he got the local toon cryers Pissan Urinal an his sister Eve Distress tae help him bi spootin oot a lot of propaganda bile.

Paradise Molly, Pigsty Mike, Davie an Susie hid a lot tae pit up wi. Baron Hairmop winted them tae be forced tae sell tae him bit fowk aa ower the lan fin they got tae ken aboot iss rebelled an mairched aa ower the doons wi banners agin Baron Hairmop. Syne on tae the scene cam twa knights in shinin armour ca’ed Ant an Dick.

They wint aboot an fun oot fit wis really gyaan on aroon Baron Hairmop’s placie. The Baron wisna chuffed as fit they fun oot made the chiel look a richt bullyin cyaard.

Ant an Dick landit in the dungeons fer a wee filie bit their story fin they telt it wis heard aa ower the lan an fowk rose up agin Hairmop. The Baron hid a dark haired servin winch ca’ed Lotta Baloney fa tried tae save face bi spikkin up fer him bit he thocht aabody faa wis agin him wis morons, eejits an ither sic naisty thingies.

He didna like King Eck the Fish noo cos the king winted tae bigg a fyow windmills close tae faar fowk wid be hittin the wee fite bas wi sticks. Nae jist aat, bit Pigsty Mike hid jist won a richt gweed award fer bein Tap o the Scots.

The last fowk heard o Baron Hairmop wis he wis holed up in his tower back in his hameland.

Hummel Doddie an Lotta Baloney war still tryin tae mak oot the Baron hid gweed intinshuns, bit even some o his serfs didna noo believe his fairy tales. The oor o midnicht wis weerin near.

Wid he turn intae a pumpkin? Nae chunce cos he wis een aready.

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A Triumph Ower Trump

Aberdeenshire, Creative Writing No Responses »

Dec 062012

By Bob Smith.

Michael Forbes his bin voted
Glenfiddich’s “Tap Scot” o the year
Iss’ll hae Trumpie fair bilin
Gyaan reid in the face a fear
.
Michael wis geen iss award
Fer his steely determination
The puir chiel wis left speechless
Fin he received a standin ovation
.
Imaagine fit Trump’ll be thinking
As oor Michael he won iss award
Donald says he bides in a slum
An thinks him an affa cyaard
.
Noo Michael refused tae buckle
He unfurled the democracy flag
Stuck twa fingers up tae The Donald
As Trumpie cairry’t on wi his brag
.
Donald am sure wull pint oot
He’s bin created a GlobalScot
By some fowk in big business
Fa spoutit some mair tommyrot

Fit his Trump ivver deen fer Scotia
His he biggit his course bi default ?
Is money teen in fae the gowfers
In an American bank’s secure vault?
.
The award leaves Trump in a pickle
He canna say the hail thing’s a farce
Glenfiddich Distillery’s weel respected
An micht hae a kick at Trump’s arse
.
Raise a gless tae Michael Forbes
Fa stood an held the stage
Agin an American billionaire
Fa’s noo duncin aroon wi rage
.
Let’s jist hae anither award
Like Top Director o the year
Iss maan ging tae Anthony Baxter
Fa didna show Trump ony fear..
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

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Estate residents have just been advised Leyton Farm Road will be closed 17 and 18 January. They believe this is for road repair work. Aberdeen Voice will report on the repair work once completed.

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