Aug 152013
 

By Bob Smith.

Sunshine floodin throwe the windas
Fillin rooms wi its golden glow
Memories o the fairmhoose kitchen
Ma mither workin tae and fro’
Birdsong burstin fae the hedges
Cocks crowin at the open doors
Yet peace an quairt  wis aa aroon
As wi wint aboot oor chores
Faint ripplin fae the dam weir
As its watters spill’t intae the burn
The Ord  jined wi the Leuchar
Alang  its banks I kent each turn
A still can smell the new mown hey
An surroonded bi the clover
A lay and listen’t tae the laverock
As heich abeen me it did hover
Stirks’ breath in November frosts
Content in the coort they stey
Jist slowly stirrin fae their rest
Fin aetin their neeps and hey
Collies barkin at the merest soond
Their alert sinses at the ready
Thae sentinels faa kept ye safe
Faa’s devotion wis ayewis steady

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image:  Hay Stacks© Taseret | Dreamstime Stock Photos
http://www.dreamstime.com/hay-stacks-free-stock-image-imagefree206796

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Aug 092013
 

By Bob Smith.

Cry ma beloved Scotland
Greet at wir foolish wyes
Ye tak aboard wir excuses
An listen ti aa wir lies
.
Ye hiv an embracin beauty
An we listen tae yer wails
Yet we sacrifice yer landscapes
Tae satisfy business holy grails
.
In yer mountain an yer moorland
There is a majesty unsurpassed
Yet winfairms an great motorwyes
Are creepin ower ye fast
In yer hills an glens we marvel
At nature’s fecht ti survive
Ower muckle fowk on yer pathways
Ower hillside tracks they can drive
.
Cry again my beloved Scotland
Greet eence mair at wir foolish wyes
Ye try tae mend the destruction
As ye let oot some mournfu cries
.
There’s fowk as wid help ye
An stop the folly aat’s aroon
We need aa ti be richt brave
As some wid ding us doon

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated

Aug 012013
 

By Bob Smith. 

Colin Murray fae the BBC
Meenshun’t Jessica Ennis’s bum
He’s accused o bein sexist
Iss is nae a bittie rum

Noo Jessica’s erse IS perfect
So why nae state iss fact
Seems puir Colin shud hae used
Jist a little bittie mair tact

Fit’s the warld noo cumin tae?
Ye’ve tae watch yer “p’s an q’s”
Ye mak a wee daft remark
On yer heid is heaped abuse

PC his geen ower the score?
Maybe bum’s noo classed as lewd
So ma remark aboot her erse
Micht weel be thocht as crude

A dinna think we shud be
Rude aboot fowk’s lukes
Bit fer praisin Jessica’s backside
Seems puir Colin Murray sooks

Awa aa ye fun destroyers
Ye crabbit bunch o tubes
A gweed job he didna meenshun
Onything aboot Jessica’s boobs

A hear the howls o protest
Classed anither sexist chap
Nivver myn a’m auld aneuch
Tae fend aff ony bum rap

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image: Wikimedia Commons

Jul 262013
 

By Bob Smith.

Martin Ford wis teen ower the coals
Fer spikkin tae yon Panorama
Seems the chiel’s opinion fae
Cooncil offices canna be on camera

The stushie fae the ‘shire cooncil
Tae North Koreawis mair suited
Wull aa future cooncil policy
Tae Kim Jong-Un be re-routed

A thocht we bade in a democracy
An war alood tae say yer bit
Cooncillor Ford gied his opinion
An some cooncillors hid a fit

His Trumpie got sic a grip?
Are cooncillors jist Trumpie goons?
Feart tae challenge The Donald
On onything tae dee wi dunes

A nivver thocht a’d see the day
Growen fowk aa rinnin scared
Fae a mannie full o bluster
Like the Menie Yankee laird

Lit’s curse aa coordly vratches
Lit them hang their heids in shame
They’ve selt fowk doon the river
As they play “King” Donald’s game

© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Jul 182013
 

By Bob Smith.

Eck Salmond he is maist upset
Wi the fowk at Muirfield links
He’s nae gyaan tae The Open
Membership policy he feels stinks  

Fer ‘ears an ‘ears iss golf club
An aboot iss they’re nae kiddin
Throwe the portals o the clubhoose 
The fair sex they are forbidden 

Is wee Eck noo a feminist
Or is’t jist a publicity stunt
Tae get aa the weemin’s votes
As independence he dis punt

Noo masel I hiv iss view
Golf clubs policy it shud be
Fer baith sexes tae jine up
An nae jist on the tee 

Bit Muirfield is a private club
So his a richt its ain rules tae mak
If it wints jist mannies only
We’ll jist hae tae cut some slack 

Maybe they’ve the richt idea
Fin aboot their game they’re braggin
Enjoyin the odd gin or twa
Free fae bliddy wifie’s naggin 

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated

Jul 122013
 

By Bob Smith.

The Donald wis on Panorama
Spikkin tae BBC’s John Sweeney
Aboot aa the gyaans  on
At his placie ower at Menie
.
The Sweeney hints tae Mr Trump
6000 jobs hinna cum tae fruition
The Trumpie lot war fair pit oot
An treated aa iss wi derision
.
Donald roared – Git rid o aat hoose
Tae the “P&J” editor’s wife
Says she it micht cause a stir
An reap ye lots o strife
.
Faa cares the mannie gabbit
A sure can dee fit a wint
It’s on ma lan quoth Donald
Tae the puir dementit bint
.
The hoose belangs tae David Milne
A chiel Trump disna much like
Bit David stuck twa fingers up
An said Trumpie tak a hike
A billie fae the Royal Toon Plannin
Thocht Trumpie’s case it wis unique
In aa his ‘ears in the plannin game
He’d seen nithing tae cause sic pique
.
Oor First Minister an The Donald
War eence on spikkin terms
They’ve hid a bit o a faa oot
Ower the plans aboot winfairms
.
Trump wis qizzed aboot his dealins
Wi a mannie fae the Mafia mob
Syne he up’s an leaves the interview
Hintin The Sweeney didna ken his job
.
Noo in the pages o “P&J” we read
Business pallies tae his rescue hiv rode
Eence mair tryin tae kid us aa
In the Nor’east the mannie is loed.
.
Birds o a feather flock tigither
A mynd aboot iss  auld sayin
Bit maist o us chiels ken they’re aa feels
Faa dunce tae the tune Trumpie’s playin

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Jul 122013
 

By Bob Smith.

Lang afore the advent o TV, fowk got tae hear aboot their sportin heroes throwe the radio, papers an in the case o fitba throwe magazines like Charles Buchan’s fitba monthly. Tho’ loons like me war aye interestit in the great sportsmen an sportsweemin o the time, there wisna the same nyaff idol worship like there is noo, altho’ we wid try tae heid the ba like Wullie Bauld o Hearts or mak saves like Jimmy Cowan o Morton, twa weel kent international fitba players in the 50s.

Fin a wis a loon growen up in the 40/50s a wis interested in maist sports, fitba, boxin, athletics, rugby, gowf, tennis, horse racin, aye even cricket, bit aat wis maybe cos ma cousin Zena’s man, Tom McLeod, played fer Forfarshire C.C. fer a gey fyow ‘ears.

A’m gyaan tae confine masel tae screiven aboot BRITISH sportin heroes cos in the1940’s/1950’s at wis the only eens a wis really interested in. A’ll gie a meention tae three fae ilka sport a likit maist.

Fitba:- Ma faavrit player in the Don’s squad wis the cinter haaf Alec Young, a great exponent o the slidin tackle. Jist fin ye thocht een o the opposition wis in on goal Alec wid cum fae naewye, slide in an git the ba awa tae safety. A reckon he wis een o the unsung heroes o the 1954-55 league championship winnin side, nivver missin a league game aa season. If ma memory serves me richt he finished up ainin a grocery shop in Fortrose.

Anither gran player wis Gordon Smith. No, nae thon baheid faa played fer Rangers, bit the een faa played in the great Hibs “famous five” forward line o Smith, Johnstone, Reilly, Turnbull and Ormond. Gordon wis a Scottish internationalist faa wint on tae play fer Hearts an Dundee faar he helpit Dundee win the league championship in the early 60s. 1962 a think.

Een o the great goalies o the time wis Bert Trautmann o Manchester City, a German prisoner o war faa decided tae bide in Britain an ply his trade.

Mony City fans war unhappy aat a former member of the Luftwaffe wis tae join the team an some protests war organised. Trautmann seen won them ower wi his displays an in the 1956 FA Cup Final he wis tae becum a legend. Wi aboot 15 mins tae go an Manchester City leadin Birmingham City 3-1 he wis injured divin at the feet o a Birmingam player.

Peter wis the first Scottish boxer tae win twa Lonsdale belts ootricht

Nae subs war alood in thae days an efter a fylie’s treatment he got back, a bittie groggy kine, tae his feet an defied the Birmingam attackers fer the rest o the match. It wis only fun oot, efter a day or twa, he hid played on wi a broken neck. He feenished his career wi City in 1964 withoot ivver playin fer his kwintra o birth.

Boxin:- Randolph “Randy” Turpin, alias “The Leamington Licker” wis ma aatime faavrit boxer fin a wis a loon. A weel remember ma mither an faither laachin as a steed in front o the wireless throwin punches fin listenin tae thon doyen o commentators Raymond Glendenning alang wi his summariser W. Barrington Dalby describe Randy’s fecht fer the middlewecht warld title in 1951 wi the great American fechter Sugar Ray Robinson.

Turpin won on pints bit sadly lost the title tae Robinson twa months later in New York. Randy continued his career tull 1964. Twa ear later he committed suicide cos o siller troubles.

If ye’re a Scot o a certin age and interested in boxin aat aa yer sure tae myn o the great Peter Keenan. Peter wis the first Scottish boxer tae win twa Lonsdale belts ootricht an in his career as a bantamwecht wis British, Empire an European champion. Een o the mair gutsy fechters o his time he wint on tae hae a braw career as a boxin promoter.

A fyow ears back the legendary Dick McTaggart wis ask’t faa he thocht wis the greatest Scottish boxin pro’ he hid seen. Withoot hesitation McTaggart replied – Peter Keenan.

Een o the maist colourfu characters in boxin wis licht hivvywecht Freddie Mills. It wis thocht he wis the biggest British boxin star o the immediate post war era. Stairtin his fechtin in the fairgrun boxin booths Freddie wint on tae becum warld lichtwecht champion in 1948 beatin the American Gus Lesnevich faa wis the current hudder o the title. He lost the title in 1950 tae anither Yank Joey Maxim an retired seen efter.

He still kept his popularity bi appearin fer a wee fylie as a presenter o BBC’s pop music programme “Six Five Special”. He wis as weel a nicht club ainer an the notorious gangsters the Kray twins war frequent visitors. Freddie cam tae a sticky eyn, bein fun shot in his car in 1965. Suicide wis the official verdict bit at the time he wis hivvily in debt tae a criminal gang an it wis rumoured his suicide wis staged.

A colourfu chiel tae the laist.

kennin the result o the race, a still fun masel wullin him on

Athletics:- Bein a bittie faist masel ower a hunner yairds at skweel a took an interest in fit wis gyaan on in the athletics warld. The greatest achievemint bi ony athlete fin a wis young hid tae be Roger Bannister runnin the mile in unner 4 meenits, the first billie tae dee iss.

We didna hae TV in 1954 bit a myn seein the race on Pathe News at the picters. Tae see Bannister fleein roon the track at a gweed lick wi his rinnin pals Chris Brasher and Christopher Chataway wis sumthin else an tho fin watchin in the picters an kennin the result o the race, a still fun masel wullin him on. Neen o yer funcy race tracks back then. They ran on a shunner track.

A afen winner fit time he wid hae postit if he hid ran on a modern surface.

A canna forget Derek Ibbotson, anither stalwart o the race track aroon aboot the same time as Bannister an his freens. I myn o seein Ibbotson in the flesh fin a wis doon on holiday at ma auntie an uncle’s in North Yorkshire an gyaan up tae a race meetin at Gatesheid or it micht hae bin Darlington an watchin Ibbotson rinnin. A myn on iss as clearly as tho it wis yesterday.

Derek’s greatest achievemint wis winnin a bronze medal in the 5000m at the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne, Australia.

A name faa deserves mair recognition  is aat o high jumper Dorothy Tyler faa competed in fower Olympic Games stairtin, fin she wis jist 16, wi  1936 in Berlin, faar she won a silver, an 1948 faar she got anither silver, syne 1952 in Helsinki, an finally at Melbourne in 1956. Noo in her 90’s her latest claim tae fame wis bein ask’t tae fire the stairtin gun at the recent London Marathon.

Weel fowks aat’s jist a smatterin o names  o aa the weel kent sportin stars fae the 40’s/50’s. Aat era wis hotchin wi great sportsmen an sportsweemin afore siller an professionalism took ower.

At a later date a micht git roond tae ither sports stars o the forties an fities like cricketers Len Hutton, Dennis Compton [o Brylcreem fame] an Godfrey Evans alang wi jockeys, Charlie Smirke, Eph Smith and Gordon Richards plus rugby legends Dally Allardyce, Cliff Morgan and Arthur Smith, gowfin stars John Panton, Eric Brown an Fred Daly an finally tennis players Christine Truman, Angela Mortimer an Bobby Wilson.

Image Credit: Steve DanielsCreative Commons Attribution Share-alike license 2.0

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jul 052013
 

By Bob Smith.


Bring IKEA tae Aiberdeen Campaign
Is aneuch tae mak me splutter
Anither bliddy multi national
Causin local shops tae stutter
.
Ye cwidna ca me a racist
A’ve nae problem wi the Swedes
Bit wi’ve plunty local shoppies
Tae cater fer furnishin needs
.
There’s Anderson’s o Inverurie
Sainsbury & Sons doon Holburn wye
An Celebrations oot in Turra toon
Berrys o Oldmeldrum weel worth a try
Noo the profit made bi IKEA
Eichty per cint wull disappear
Oot o the local economy
Awa back tae Sweden a fear
.
Bring IKEA tae Aiberdeen campaign
We can dee withoot iss fine
IKEA tak aa yer flatpacks
Stick em “faar the sun disna shine”
.
Lit’s hear it fer local shoppies
Lang may their like we see
They support the local economy
So fae IKEA lit’s aye bi free.

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image credit:  Gadjo Cardenas Sevilla

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jun 282013
 

By Bob Smith.

Noo Betty likit the picters
She geed there ivvery wikk
Ti musicals like The King and I
Or great epics like Moby Dick
.
Jist ony film it wid dee
War films wi yon Alan Ladd
She swooned aboot romantic eens
Aiven some aat made her sad
.
She hid her favourite film stars
Like Cary Grant or Clark Gable
She drimt she micht be a duncer
Swak as Cyd Charisse or Betty Grable
.
Swashbucklin movies wi lots o fechtin
Wi Burt Lancaster or Errol Flynn
Or films aat featured animals
Sic as Lassie or Rin Tin Tin
.
She wisna aat fond o gangster eens
Starrin Cagney, Bogart or Herbert Lom
Yet the titles o aa iss kin o picter
She reeled aff wi some aplomb
She laached at cartoons by Walt Disney
Mickey Moose or yon Donald Duck
Enjoyed films aat wir a bit historical
Aboot Robin Hood an Friar Tuck
.
Horror eens made her affa feart
O Boris Karloff an Vincent Price
Picters like The Mummy’s Hand
She thocht nae verra nice
.
Cowboys and Indians she lappit up
Wi Gary Cooper an Big John Wayne
She even likit western musicals
Far Doris Day wis Calamity Jane
.
Best o aa she adored the classics
Oliver Twist an o coorse Jane Eyre
An eens in a wee bit lichter mood
Like Pickwick Papers an Vanity Fair
.
Noo Betty she’s fair growein aul
Some picter hooses they’re nae mair
Bit Betty myns fine o the nichts
Fin gyaan ti the picters wis jist rare

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”2012

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Bliddy Hypocrites

 Creative Writing, Opinion  Comments Off on Bliddy Hypocrites
Jun 212013
 

By Bob Smith.

The”P&J” wis ask’t tae leave
A  debate aboot eddicashun
They took iss aa tae hairt
As a slur on Press reputashun

A maun agree with the paper’s view
An they shudna hae bin chucked oot
Bit they’re bein a bittie hypocritical
Fin ither facts they’ve gien the boot

“Iss wis a maitter o public interest
An the pros an cons needed airin”
So says their ain opinion column
Yet TUT views they’re nae fer blarin

Cast yer myn back a fyow ‘ear ago
In the paper TUT cwid nae be vocal
Cos accordin tae the “P&J” editor
The organisation it wisna local

Noo  is his bin since proved
Tae be a richt heap o shite
There’s lots o local fowkies
Faa in TUT took up the fight

A wid say in the public interest
Tripping Up Trump maun be heard
Their pros an cons aboot Trumpie
Wi aabody shud be shared

So cum aa ye “P&J” hypocrites
It’s time tae pit things richt
An owerturn iss stupid ban
So TUT views see the licht

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013