Suzanne at Aberdeen Voice

Jul 042014
 

Suzanne Kelly aka Old Susannah gets to grips with the news dominating the headlines this week; she’s having her cake and eating it too.
Dictionary

Another quiet week passes in the Granite City; a baton came to UTG amid light security measures, Anthony Baxter and Richard Phinney premiered their new film, and a former resident’s run off to fight a jihad.

Of the top stories rocking Scotland this week, some seem to be food related: a chef lost his prestigious Trump job because of an offensive shortbread, and a legal ruling has decreed that a snowball is a cake, not a cookie.

The Portsoy Boat Festival was a great weekend out for the hundreds who came; I was serving as a roving interviewer, which was good fun.

The festival gets larger every year – more boats, more races, more music and more visitors.  See you next time.

Anthony Baxter’s A Dangerous Game featured at the Edinburgh film festival. This new documentary features Trump at Menie, and other golf developments going on around the world; the Hollywood Reporter rightly says:-

“The film features heavyweight interviewees including Trump himself, making a comically clumsy attempt at damage limitation”

– I’ve no idea what they mean by that; Trump was every bit as shrewd, honest and on-the-ball as you’d expect.

Some Menie residents went to a screening on the 24th, and by all accounts it was an electric, emotional night. I went on the Saturday; the film again played to a full house. Baxter answered questions afterwards, and after that, a few pints were had. The movie should be in Aberdeen in early September.

Sue Edwards, who tirelessly documents the changing face of the Menie area, rightfully got a photo credit. I was humbled to see that I got a mention in the credits as well.  After the screening I met a nice man who won an award for his documentary; a film about some chap called Tony Benn. Get to see this when you can; it’s called Will and Testament.

Edinburgh is going to have to buck up its ideas about events – hundreds and hundreds of tourists flocking to the city for the festivals, and there’s hardly any uniformed security or crowd barriers in evidence. They can learn a lot about event hosting from us, but more on that later.

Here are some timely definitions for the week’s news

Shortbread: (Scottish noun) a traditional biscuit made of flour, butter and sugar, traditionally shaped into fingers, fans or rounds. Not to be shaped into willies.

Dough! Chef Scot McMillan was fired this past week; his crimes against humanity take the biscuit. Apparently his misdeeds include allowing a willy-shaped shortbread to be baked in his absence, and having photographic evidence of this crime posted on his Facebook page.

What would poor Sarah have done if faced with such a giant willy in the flesh as it were?

This offensive shortbread gave Donald the rise when it popped up on the chef’s Facebook page (note to TUT, and anyone else, teams of Trump minions just may be poring over social media now, looking for offensive biscuit posts; I think this is what people mean by food porn).

Donald didn’t sugar-coat it, the man was fired.

There is no word yet how our own Flour of Scotland/Face of Aberdeen / Mrs Damian Bates/ Sarah Malone is taking this latest news story.

I’m not laughing, and I’m sure you aren’t either. Imagine the delicate sensibilities of The Donald and poor Sarah Malone Bates when their minions, digging around the facebook pages of Trump’s 6,000 local employees (well, that’s the number we were promised) and coming face to face with a funny looking biscuit.

I can picture the scene now; a shrieking Malone-Bates, a ranting Trump, the Spanish Inquisition and teams of paid Trump internet snoops, all horrified. It would be enough to make Trump’s hair stand on end.

What would poor Sarah have done if faced with such a giant willy in the flesh as it were? Would she have eaten it? What would the poor woman have said about the size of it? The trauma of thinking about the possible permutations is too much for Old Susannah.

Alas! As proven by television chefs such as Gordon Ramsay, a chef must be polite, avoid crudeness, and be above all scandal at all times.

If Trump had kept the chef, then all those hordes of limos and arriving private jets taking golfers to Trump would slow down, destroying our economy. I’m sure there is nothing more to this story than what the papers said. At least they didn’t find photographs of any staff enjoying fish suppers.

Perhaps Trump hires Malone-Bates (who is married to dashing P&J Editor Damian Bates, lest we forget), a handful of cleaners, cooks, chefs and waiting staff, and greens people – and then hires twice as many to spy on the web pages of employees. That would account for the prosperity we’re experiencing, witnessed by Stewart Spence flogging his Marcliffe hotel off for housing.

Yes, Spence did say that business was booming because of ‘The Trump Effect’. Perhaps he’s now made so much from American golfers that he can retire to a private island, but you’d have thought such a gold mine here in golf heaven would have remained a hotel. After all, Spence said his business ‘had increased 93%’ because of Trump.

So friends – keep the city and shire safe for millionaire golfers, and report any suspicious looking food seen on Facebook at once. Old Susannah remembers seeing some photos on Facebook of a famous family; they were holding severed elephant tails, dead big cats, and other big game the family in question had destroyed for pleasure.

Let’s hope we can keep seeing more photos like those, and less photos of misshapen shortbread. It’s all a matter of priorities; let’s hope this blows over before it is blown out of all proportions.

Cake: (Modern Scottish legal term) – something that you eat that’s not a biscuit or a pasty, which the taxman can’t charge VAT on.

Wars rage; people harm others, Vodaphone evades tax, we need foodbanks. But celebratory bells will ring, children will dance in the street, and the lion will lie down with the lamb: Snowballs are cakes.

In a decision taking a mere 20 years to reach, the establishment has declared that bakeries including Tunnocks can call their snowball cakes, er, cakes. I’m as relieved about this as you are; it’s been hard to sleep at night knowing this was going on. According to the Daily Mail:

“In the end, the verdict went in favour of the two bakeries’ claim that their snowballs should be classed as cakes – and so are not subject to VAT.

“It will cost HMRC – who had classed it as a sweet and so VAT-rated – more than £2.8million to refund the taxes paid by the two firms.

“The judgment means Lees can claim back £2,057,497 in VAT from HMRC, while Tunnocks can claim back £805,956.  It also means the taxman has lost out on future VAT from snowballs to the tune of millions of pounds.

“It was also revealed in the judgement released yesterday that an informal poll of tax office staff in Dundee found a majority had disagreed with their bosses and thought the teacake was a cake.”
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/scots-bakers-lees-tunnocks-win-3778835

There is no word yet on the classification of spotted dick.

Alas! there is no time to comment on the discrete, cost-effective security measures that accompanied the baton’s arrival in Union Terrace Gardens, but more on this, and Trump’s reaction to A Dangerous Game next week.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jul 042014
 

Eilidh Whiteford MP Peterhead Harbour featWith thanks to Paul Robertson.

Banff & Buchan MP Dr Eilidh Whiteford has welcomed the fifth anniversary of Scotland’s world-leading climate change legislation.

June 25 marked five years since the Scottish Government’s commitment to leading the world in renewable energy. Since 2009, massive progress has been made towards building a Scotland self-sufficient in renewable energy – from 20.2% of Scottish energy consumption in 2007 to 46.5% in 2013.

The Scottish Government’s objective is for the equivalent of 100% of Scotland’s energy consumption to come from renewable sources by 2020.

Dr Whiteford said:

“The Scottish Government’s commitment really is world-leading, and sets a shining example on what can be achieved with political will. By encouraging renewables development, and investing in green technologies, Scotland has cultivated an international reputation as an engineering hub for renewables. In future, when other nations seek renewable solutions to their energy problems, it will be to Scottish companies that many turn for the expertise.

“The jobs and income from this industry will benefit everyone – particularly in ​the North-east where the bulk of this industry is located. We are very much on the cusp of a second energy boom for the north east.

“However, this time around, we have the opportunity to ensure that this boom will benefit everyone in Scotland, rather than being used as a cash cow by successive Westminster Governments – as has happened with our fossil fuel resources.

“By building our renewables industry we place ourselves at the forefront of a rapidly developing world market, which will only become more important. Energy security will represent one of the major challenges of the 21st century, and as fossil fuels become harder and more expensive to obtain, governments around the world will seek renewable solutions.

“As well as exporting expertise, Scotland hosts around 25% of the European Union’s total renewables capacity, and as the nations of Europe move away from fossil fuels, we are in a uniquely advantageous position to meet the continent’s demand for clean, sustainable energy.”

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jul 042014
 

Beautiful landscapeWith thanks to Jennifer Kelly.

As a response to the gripping TV show ‘The Island’, Wild things! has launched a Wild Woman weekend, giving women across the nation a chance to embrace their inner ‘Bear Gals’.

With no experience required, the weekend promises to inspire, educate and fulfill even the most unlikely Wild candidates.

Based on the Moray Coast, the environmental education charity is encouraging women to swap their hectic lives for a two-day wilderness escape on August 2nd and 3rd 2014.

Arriving in true castaway fashion, the weekend will begin by boat to a remote location. From there, the intrepid explorers will learn traditional living skills such as how to identify wild edible and medicinal plants, cooking over an open fire, having a go at some creative camp craft, as well as sleeping in a hammock or tipi under the stars.

Jennie, the lead instructor for the course says:

“On this wonderful coast, the only sounds you’ll hear at night will be that of the coastal birds and, if we’re lucky, grey and common seals. The course will be restorative, inspiring and fun. You don’t have to be butch, brave or buxom as we will work together as a team. There will be some challenges but only those that will leave you feeling more alive than you ever thought possible, as well as totally in love with the natural world (if you weren’t already!).”

TipiWild things! is a Scottish environmental education charity based in Findhorn, Moray.

Wild things! offers a variety of inspiring wilderness and nature experiences for all ages and abilities regardless of learning challenges or physical and financial difficulties.

For more information about any of our programmes visit our website www.wild-things.org.uk, or call us on 01309 690450.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jul 042014
 

caitlinFor a third year, Suzanne Kelly reviews the student end-of-year exhibition at Gray’s School of Art; Kelly has a BA (hons) painting from NYIT and a MFA (hons) painting from Edinburgh College of Art.

A good end-of-course degree show in the arts exists to showcase high calibre work and place the students in as good a light as possible, launching them into the art and design worlds.

If the students have been encouraged to think and discover for themselves as well as learning their respective crafts, then the resulting degree show will be a wide-ranging conglomerate of styles, approaches and values.

In cases where students are encouraged to mimic a tutor’s values and styles, to play it safe, and/or to pursue a career in the arts as merely a means to commercial success, the resulting degree show will be about as exciting as a trip to a housewares department of a conservative department store.

Unhappily, with today’s economic situation, all too many UK graduates are going into the arts with money as an end goal and any aesthetic, social, creative, adventurous outcomes are secondary.

alex aitchison 4 poynernookHappily, this year’s graduating students and their work are cause for optimism in the fine arts and design sectors.

Students in design have chosen to tackle social issues; they have embraced technology; they are creating work that challenges, soothes, engages, and even charms.

Alex Aitchison has examined the timely issue of food banks in Aberdeen, one of Scotland’s most prosperous cities (for some).

He explained:

“4 Poynernook Road is a project aimed at removing the illusion that has been created around poverty in Scotland. With programmes such as Benefit Street creating a new ‘poverty porn’ entertainment where people tune in to see “the poor”, the actual effects of poverty are horribly distorted.

“The series of images taken over a period of 4 months this year show the actual life of the volunteers and workers at a Food bank, which livelihood is helping these people. I want this work to start a conversation about the way we view poverty. In a city such as Aberdeen that exists in a wealthy oil bubble, we still have a massive divide between the rich and poor.

“By talking to each other about this and making ourselves more aware of the situation, we can begin to work on creating a better society.”

The resulting photographs bring home the reality of the situation it should be viewed by anyone who would ignore this issue or those who would penalise the poor and arrest those who beg. It definitely should be viewed by those who would avoid paying their fair share of personal or corporate tax so they can see the result of their clever evasions. As such, work like this is essential.

winnie shekOne student created a utilitarian APP for students who need to find accommodation in Aberdeen, an increasingly expensive task.

These and other examples showcased the purpose of design to fill social needs and to bring attention to social problems.

Another design student worked with a manufacturer to enable people to choose their own laminate surface to use on kitchen tables and laminated cabinets.

In an increasingly impersonal, mass-produced IKEA-esque world of home decoration and furnishing, this initiative returns individuality and the power of creation and design to those who want to take an active part in how their personal environment looks.

When an idea such as this is presented to the public, it is easy to think how simple it is, and how easy it must have been to come up with this design concept; to those who understand the process of good design, the work involved will be clear. Good ideas such as this seem simple and natural to the end user; that is one of the criteria for good design.

Lewis CJ AllenThere is of course nothing wrong with designers working to create something people will wish to buy. Winnie Shek designed black and white china and cutlery featuring different cat motifs. This work is at once whimsical, smile-inducing, gentle, fun, and as such offers relief from the problems and issues we all face.

The different endearing designs would not be out of place to the aesthetics of Art Deco, 1930s Western, and even ancient Egypt.

Winnie explained:

“Over the years we have built a strong presence for cats online due to sharing images, videos and blogs about them, etc.  I wanted to provide images that cat fans would enjoy so my repeat pattern images of cats are a reflection of our culture and societies fascination and interest with them. 

“I knew that there was a market there already that provided things for cat lovers but I wanted to try and create something a bit more special.”

The plate I bought for £8 takes the cat motif, and repeats it radiating from the centre, which creates an interesting geometric pattern which is pleasing and interesting above the cat motif itself.

One of the award-winning artists displayed work that is neither social commentary nor practical applied design. Lewis CJ Allen made an exploration of sound, probably best described in his words:

“I see myself primarily as a graphic designer however throughout the course of my honours year I found my work developing down the route of digital illustration and sound art.

“Sound, a leading theme in my work, has always inspired me and this year I aimed to incorporate it in my design work, creating images that inspire a sense of viewership and listenership. … As the climax of the year approached I combined my findings into a final project that considered the fundamental elements of digital sound and digital image – the Digital DNA.

“By juxtaposing the two subjects to create an aural and visual comparison from code, I directly assert the ideas of identify and beauty in contemporary culture as we are faced with hyper-realistic images that are a hybridisation of fashion, sexualisation and photoshop.”

It is always interesting to visit the painting section of the Gray’s degree show.

catherine smith paintingAs ever, the entire complex was packed with students, proud friends and relatives, visiting business dignitaries and academics. The BP hospitality tent’s occupants had many positive things to say about the works they’d seen; unsurprisingly each had their own favourites.

The wide range of approaches, techniques and messages in the paintings was impressive and a credit to the students and their mentors.

Work by Catherine Smith on the theme of home, memory place and experience translated into highly-evocative, beautifully composed and executed large paintings with an impressive sense of colour and draftsmanship.  In her statement Smith said:

“Just as my house has been built and repaired, my paintings have been constructed and altered in a similar way. The paintings have been ‘cultured’ from a dense collection of memories of my home.

“I have layered these memories in the paintings to convey the traces left on the place. I have painted paths which weave through faded memories which direct you to ones that are bolder.”

The approach to painting taken by Sarah Jamieson was quite a different one. Her soft colours and gentle work is as compelling, but for different reasons. Jamieson wrote:

“My work this session has focused on the idea of place through mapmaking and the language that maps deploy. In my practice I have been exploring the idea of an ever-changing place using organic patterns, subtle colour changes and geometric shapes to represent the terrain.

“I represent the environment of a place through the objects and forms that are found there and what is created represents something about the physical experience of the world.”

caitlin 2Caitlin Hynes presented 2- and 3-d work which seemed to combine elements of George Calder (whimsical pieces), Niki de Sainte Phalle (playful, colourful 3d figures), and Rousseau (evocative, primitive dreamscapes) and world religious iconography from around the globe.

Her work intrigues, enchants, pleases and impresses.

“I have been inspired by the concept of ‘pilgrimage’- a journey which leads us. It leads us to a physical and/or spiritual place, where singular identity can join with others into a group identity, a group of believers. There is comfort and peace in belief and belonging.

“It is important for me to collect and create objects and artefacts, records and traces of my journey, where I have been and where I am going. I value those things that are significant and meaningful, however small or ephemeral.

“I am interested in theatre and costumes. My work is raw and playful and reflects an individual journey, as it happens, in the ‘now’ of this life, and in the belief that when we come together as individuals,  we can create a positive and life giving energy that is greater than ourselves.”

Sarah Jamieson paintingThe opening night was too short; and like this brief review, taking in all the work, mentioning those artists who merit mention, and giving the work the time it deserves was not possible.

But even after the degree show ends, the artists and designers will without doubt continue their work and we shall hear more from them – soon it is hoped.

There is a piece I still remember from the previous degree show – ‘Even Elephants Sometimes Forget’ – a work by Susannah Leake  for children, designed to explain senile dementia issues to them.

This was a gentle, poignant, sensitive and useful example of the art of design.

In a year’s time, some of the work seen tonight will likewise still be remembered.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jul 042014
 

This Saturday offers two great opportunities for animal lovers to enjoy an entertaining day out and help support animal welfare charities into the bargain. With thanks to Suzanne Kelly.

willows-lamb-featWillows Animal Sanctuary invites you, your friends and family to its next Open Day. Willows in Strichen will hold its gala day this Saturday 5th July.

Come join the staff, farm, domestic, exotic and wild animals living at Willows.

There will be loads to do and see, and animals to meet.

All are welcome to come see the animals, meet the staff, and join in the festivities.

The events run from 11:30 am through 4:30pm; they include:

  • Live music,
  • Bottle Stall,
  • Tombola,
  • Plant sale,
  • Lucky ducks,
  • Gift shop,
  • Coffee Shop,
  • Raffle,
  • and Home-bakes.

Jenny Gray of Willows said:-

“We are hoping this will become a popular annual event to raise money for our winter feed.”

Costs for everyone are spiralling upwards, and animal sanctuaries such as Willows must bear the brunt of price increases. They are reliant on donors to keep going.

A new foal, Fern will be one of the stars of the show. Other new additions include a blind lamb and a racehorse.

Willows were approached by a caring lady who lives near Glasgow and asked to help with a blind lamb whose mother died giving birth to her. Willows were able to give her sanctuary here and also to accept another orphan lamb to become her sighted companion. The blind lamb has been checked by a vet and given the all clear. Both lambs have settled in well and are very popular with visitors.

Chief is an ex racehorse who arrived in early March 2014. His owner was desperate to find him a safe home as he had lost his companions one by one as they be-came old and unwell and these losses were making him extremely stressed. He is an absolutely lovely boy who was totally relaxed about being relocated to Willows.

Somehow the new arrivals sense the peaceful atmosphere at Willows Animal Sanctuary and quickly appear as if they have been resident for years!

Also on Saturday, Redwing Riding School will hold its annual show at Blaikewell Farm.

showfieldmap

Click to Enlarge.

Redwing Riding school was opened in 1985 to pay for the maintenance of the growing animal population at Blaikiewell Animal Sanctuary. Blaikewell is a small charity in Deeside, Aberdeenshire, providing a home to over 60 horses and ponies, two Jersey cows, and six pigs as well as cats, dogs and any other animal or bird that needs a safe place.
Redwing Riding School has always been conducted with the welfare of the horses and ponies firmly in first place

There will be prizes for horse and rider in many different events, and a raffle to raise funds for the school and Blaikiewell’s. Anyone wishing to help support the animals at Blaikewell can make a donation via this link.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

 

Jul 042014
 

The Grampian Transport Museum in Alford is preparing to host its first Rides session of the School summer holidays when representatives from the world of commercial vehicles take to the circuit on Thursday 10th July.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA‘Big Stuff Rides’ will give museum visitors the chance to jump in the passenger seats of some interesting and unusual commercial vehicles – including vintage buses from the Aberdeen & District Transport Preservation Trust, recovery vehicles from S.S Walker in Aberdeen and a 1975 Commer Fire Engine which is privately owned by an enthusiast from Aultmore, near Keith.

These ‘rides’ sessions are unique to the Grampian Transport Museum in Alford and offer museum visitors the chance to take to the passenger seat and enjoy laps around the dedicated road circuit at no additional cost, being included in the museums standard admission.

Curator, Mike Ward, is looking forward to summer at the museum.

 “It’s always a great feeling when we reach the summer season. Our unique events programme gets into full swing with events just like these  ‘rides’ sessions, which are always popular with families and youngsters.

“July and August are among our busiest months and once the Big Stuff event has passed we still have the Classic & Vintage Gathering and Fast Car Rides events to look forward to before the end of the July!”

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jun 242014
 

XJ220With thanks to Martyn Smith, Marketing and Events Organiser, Grampian Transport Museum.

Enthusiasts will be heading to Aberdeenshire for the annual Alford SpeedFest, to be thrilled by the largest gathering of rare supercars, exciting performance cars, and historic racing cars in the north east of Scotland.

We are delighted to announce that Park’s Motor Group of Hamilton will be providing a collection of McLaren sports cars, to join the McLaren P1 supercar on display.

These will join iconic names such as Maserati, Lamborghini, Ferrari, Porsche, Lotus, Frazer Nash, Aston Martin, TVR.

SpeedFest is an established flagship event at the Grampian Transport Museum in Alford. SpeedFest generates a lot of excitement and will showcase 120 specially selected and invited cars to make up the best entry list ever seen in the north east. The cars themselves participating actively in the event are made as accessible as possible to the public.

The event is based around the oval road circuit which incorporates the famous Alford Pursuits. As well as seeing the cars put through their paces, families have the chance to join in with fast car rides for the first 150 through the gate before the event gets fully underway.

Organisers James Parker and Nick Livingstone comment ‘With 39 days to go, preparations for Alford SpeedFest14 are well underway. We are beginning collect and prepare some of our exhibits. The ‘Jim Robbins Special’, a 1951 Offenhauser engined Indycar, which was on pole position for the 1955 Indianapolis 500 has arrived, and is currently undergoing its final preparation for the event, where it will be running on track.

The car has kindly been lent to the event by Mr E. Dean. Butler. The car was last seen in public at the 2011 Goodwood Festival of Speed, where it was driven by the US Formula 1 driver, Eddie Cheever.’

the JIM-ROBBINS-SPECIAL indy carAnother EDB racing car on our track will be the ‘Charles Bang special’ slingshot dragster, which set the US ‘D’ class quarter mile record at 10.35 seconds.

Powered by a flathead V8, this car wowed the crowds at the 2008 Goodwood Festival of Speed, running in a display of vintage dragsters.

Most of the cars were shipped over from the USA, and, although the US has particularly rich pickings as far as drag cars go, the C.B. special made it into the show on its own merits.

Historic racer Chris Williams brings his unique Packard Bentley directly from the Cholmondeley of Power, this beast spits frames from the exhausts of the 1500bhp 42-litre supercharged engine and is more powerful than a Bugatti Veyron. Other key attractions this year include Jimmy McRae’s rally cars, and Richard Pargetter’s fantastic aerobatic display in his Pitts Special.

We are planning a great day for enthusiasts and families with exciting non-stop action on the circuit, and a range of sidestands and activities for families.

Local and national companies are providing support for the event, including Park’s Motor Group, John Clark BMW, Revolutions of Perth, Glack Attack mud run, EDB Racing, Storm Windows, Crosshill Garage.

We thank these companies for their charitable funding contribution for the Grampian Transport Museum.

Alford SpeedFest14
Sun 29 June 2014:  11:00am- 5:00pm
Grampian Transport Museum, Alford, Aberdeenshire AB33 8AE

Adult £10, Child £5, OAP £7, Family £25.
Tickets on the gate: Advance sales (inc. Early Bird fast car rides from May 26; tel GTM 01975 562292)

For further information please email James Parker or Nick Livingstone.
Web: alfordspeedfest.co.uk

Jun 242014
 

There’s a weekend of top punk bands playing next month at The Tunnels. Voice’s Andrew Watson previews this upcoming event.

Oi Polloi

Oi Polloi

‘Freedom of Aberdeen City’ is the area’s summer punk rock festival which is brought to you by DIY promoters Bile Yer Heid and Eck Ruffneck on Friday 4th at 18:00 and Saturday 5th July at 13:00.

Friday’s lineup is Steve Ignorant & Paranoid Visions, Rubella Ballet, Shatterhand, The Cundeez (Dundee) and local noise punks The Obscenities.

Paranoid Visions are Ireland’s most infamous punk bands, and have Steve Ignorant, the vocalist from Crass, guesting on this year’s tour.

Rubella Ballet, who scored a Top Ten hit in the UK Indie Charts, will be playing their first Scottish gig since the early 1980s..

Saturday sees The Mob, Oi Polloi, Hooligan (Dublin), The System (Wigan), Black Light Mutants (Manchester), Battery Humans (Northumberland), Subvision (Fife), Down To Kill (Edinburgh), The Eddies (Dundee), Aberdeen City’s Toxik Ephex, Against All Flags (Inverness/the West Highlands), and Aberdeenshire’s Mark Ayling and Skizofrenik.

The Mob are straight off the back of a USA tour, having recently reformed. The south-west of England melodic punk band have not played Aberdeen since around 1983.

Oi Polloi return to Aberdeen for the first time in three years and have new, original Gaelic-language numbers to play for the punks and skins.

This will be a complete one-off event with many notable and influential political punk rock acts, coming from all corners of England, Ireland and Scotland.

A Friday gig ticket is £15 for five bands, a Saturday gig ticket is £15 for thirteen bands. To see all eighteen bands over the two days duration is only £25. Tickets are available from Cafe Drummond, or from www.bileyerainheid.blogspot.com.

Jun 132014
 

Old Susannah’s news round up of current events local and larger, online and offline. By Suzanne Kelly.

DictionaryNow that summer has arrived, things are heating up, at least in Aberdeen Town Hall, and on Facebook. There are a mere 99 days to go before the referendum on Scotland’s future. I for one will be sad to see the end of the friendly debates, good humoured disagreements, and logical discourse.

One or two interesting memes have made the rounds on Facebook (memes are digital posters, usually pictures and text, trying to prove something, to mislead, or just to promote laughter. Hard to tell with some of them what the desired result is).

More on that later.

Rick Mayall has passed away; an alternative comic who packed a heck of a lot into his 56 years.  The Young Ones, Bottom and The New Statesman were among his great comic works.

If you missed The New Statesman, it followed the life of the fictional MP Alan B’Stard.  B’Stard the MP was elitist, completely dishonest, devious, greedy, self-centred,  egotistical, ambitious beyond his talents, and cared for no one but himself.  As such, it will be hard for any of us today to imagine such an MP  could exist, but it was a hilarious series at the time.

Enjoy some of Mr Mayall’s best moments here.

In a surprising development – literally a development – those nice people at Muse want to move the goal posts on their St Nicholas House project. Actually they don’t want to move the goal posts; they want to move (or remove) bits and  pieces of Provost Skene’s House to make their shiny new office complex even more spectacular and original than it already is.

Provost Skene’s House is after all not as pretty as a glass box, and it’s very inconveniently located. You might think that since 2,500 people all contributed to a public consultation that this is a bit late in the day to start dismantling Provost Skene’s footprint. After all, it’s not as if a public consultation in this city would ever be disregarded.

Of course, there was the biased ‘consultation’ on the short list of 6 designs for Union Terrace Gardens; we were not allowed to vote for leaving the gardens alone.

Then again, there was the consultation for 6 possible routes for the Aberdeen Western Peripheral Route. Tens of thousands of pounds were spent on roadshows displaying the proposals, the public voted on these routes – and then at the end of the day, a brand new route was invented to cut through the greenbelt (what’s left of it) and chosen with no public say.

Then there was the public consultation on planting a tree for every citizen.

The slight problem there was that the city planned in advance to exterminate a herd of deer to plant the trees on a rubbish tip where a previous attempt had failed and cost £43,800, and the city decided  not to burden the public with these minor details during the consultation, and when the fact came out at last, they refused to listen to the 3500 people and community councils that objected.

Sustainable Development refers to building thousands of homes in boring greenbelt land

Yes, a consultation is an important exercise to go through here in Aberdeen. If you do want to comment on Muse’s plans for Provost Skene’s house, I’m sure your views will be listened to (I’m sure this consultation will be different); you can do so here (just put in reference number 140755.

The responsible department is aptly called ‘Planning and Sustainable Development’.

The word ‘Planning’ refers to all the well thought out, expertly organised projects that never deviate from the approved designs (from the council house car garages that were too small to get out of your car if you drove into them to the approval of hundreds of homes by the Haudagain Roundabout).

Sustainable Development refers to building thousands of homes in boring greenbelt land while the city centre disused brown field sites sit empty, adding character to the area. So what if there are no thoughts given to infrastructure and the roads come to a standstill? We will be a sprawling (urban sprawling) metropolis before you know it.

There is the little matter of our air pollution continuing to worsen, our C02 production is increasing, and our health suffering.   But we’ll be making money.

But there is some good news:  Michael Gove is going to punish parents if their children are not ready to learn and don’t show respect!   Result!

Even better, we are going to teach children British Values (perhaps this term will need its own column to be sufficiently defined). It’s hard to understand why young people don’t respect authority figures. A few teachers have turned out to be child abusers, woeful incompetents and/or would-be brainwashers, but that can’t be the cause of any disrespect or mistrust, can it?

Perhaps we could ask some of our MPs why young people have problems respecting authority figures.  We can’t ask UKIP Man Colin Brewer why he recommended putting disabled children down as if they were deformed livestock; he’s passed away.  It would have been nice to get his perspective on respect.

We could have asked Maria Miller, former MP and Culture Secretary for her expert opinion on youth culture – but unfortunately she’s spending more time with her family after deciding to resign, coincidentally she was involved in an expenses fiddle, and allegedly intimidating a journalist.

 this book has something to do with ideas like truth, justice, racial equality and fairness

We could ask elder Statesman Tony Blair to write something up on the matter; after all, his creative writing flair turned a fairly tame dossier into a terrifying call to war, when he did a bit of editing, and told us that Iraq was able to hit us with chemical weapons within 45 minutes (Perhaps I shouldn’t include the Iraq War – look how well that turned out for the Iraqi citizens after all).

Pity no one ever found those weapons of mass destruction that were meant to be pointing at us.

There are, as you can see, plenty of role models to inspire young people to respect authority figures. Let’s punish those parents, and ban a few books while we’re at it. Gove of course has got rid of a few books of late from the curriculum, including some obscure work called To Kill A Mockingbird.

Apparently this book has something to do with ideas like truth, justice, racial equality and fairness. Doubt there is room or need for such a book these days.

Anyway, on with some definitions, based on some memes doing the rounds on Facebook

Simile: (Eng. noun) comparison between equal items – such as ‘breakfast is to morning as lunch is to afternoon’

It’s great when you come across really clever memes using simile for comparing things.  One such meme that has been doing the rounds for at least 15 months is pictured below. The source of this one is difficult to pin down, but surely it can’t be anyone connected with either advertising or the tobacco lobby.

The idea is that putting images of diseases caused by smoking on cigarette packs is exactly the same as putting pictures of animal experiments on cosmetics labels, or obese people on fast food wrappers, or deeds of crooked politicians on tax returns.

As really clever as this might seem at first, alas!  There are just a few problems with the simile being used.

In the first place, if we are to look at cigarettes, cosmetics, fast food and politicians, you might conclude that only one of these things is: a.  always damaging to your health, b.  harms those around you, and c.  has no redeeming health benefits at all.  (No, I don’t mean politicians, I mean cigarettes).

It has been possible for decades to buy cosmetics that aren’t tested on animals, and Europe has pretty much called time on animal experiments for cosmetics (but note – dogs and other animals are often made to inhale tobacco smoke in remarkably cruel, unnecessary experiments).

Moving swiftly along, fast food and alcohol are not instantly harmful (but should be ingested in reasonable quantities), but as the WHO will tell you, all smoke is hazardous not only to the smoker, but those around them. Sorry, this meme may look very clever at first, but it is completely illogical.

Then there are rather more sinister memes. Two London murder victims are compared side by side.

Why was there no monument for one, and for the other all sorts of awards given to the relatives? How unfair this looks at first glance.

The two being compared are murdered black UK citizen Stephen Lawrence, and murdered UK soldier Lee Rigby. Both were innocent of any wrongdoing; both were brutally, senselessly murdered.

How unfair that Lawrence’s memory and family were treated differently – or so you were supposed to think. Happily, the men who executed Rigby were immediately caught and brought to trial. What this little, innocent-looking meme conveniently overlooks is that Lawrence’s family, witnesses and friends were put through hell by the police.

The investigation overlooked vital clues, which were allowed to be destroyed by those implicated. The police spied on and tried to discredit witnesses.

The cover-up that was attempted was thwarted in no small part by the courage and dedication of the Lawrence family. Perhaps the nice people who created this meme just didn’t know about the Lawrence case background? After all, they have a lovely-sounding name, ‘Britain First’.

Britain First: (English proper name) – a social media force known for racism.

The D-Day anniversary came, and with it came stories of heroism, the scale of the human tragedy of battle – and memes from Britain First. Many people shared these memes without checking what group was behind them, and in doing so swelled the Britain First viewing figures and popularity stakes.

Thankfully we now also have on Facebook ‘Exposing Britain First’ – a group combating the propaganda war that Britain First is waging.  Old Susannah finds Britain First using WWII commemorations just a bit confusing: Britain First seems to want us to overlook the small fact their racist, nationalist values are exactly what the soldiers Britain First posts about were fighting against.

Unionist Alliance: (English fictional proper noun) – a supposed group of organisations opposed to Scottish Independence.

This meme popped up on Facebook, using what looked like logos from a wide range of groups from the BNP and UKIP through the Conservatives, LibDems and Labour.

It was headed Unionist Alliance.  People saw this and shared it, with suitably outraged comments against Labour for joining this alliance – only it doesn’t exist.

I tracked down the originator, who then told me ‘it was an illustration’ and not a real alliance.

Pity those who saw it didn’t have that information. The Labour Logo was also altered in this odd meme. Labour are looking into it, as may be other parties.

Wimbledon Rules: (Eng. compound noun) – rules for those attending tennis matches on how to dress, act and not to wave banners or flags.

So – what’s wrong with Alex Salmond waving a giant saltire when Cameron can wave a flag at the Olympics?

Alas, they are different events with different rules. So, comparing what’s allowed at Wimbledon with what’s allowed elsewhere isn’t particularly logical.

I guess the creator of this one, who hasn’t answered my messages yet, will let us know if he was in the dark about the Wimbledon rules, widely publicised at the time of Salmond’s social gaffe.

So – be careful what you believe, who’s trying to get you to share their memes, and do look into things before jumping to the conclusions you’re being led to.

Next week: Send in any memes you want to have looked at; there are plenty out there.

  • Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.
Jun 132014
 

By Francis Bay – For seventy-five years Francis Bay’s insightful, anecdotal and uplifting words have warmed the hearts and enriched the lives of generations of devoted readers. The perfect accompaniment as we journey together through the year ahead, he offers both words of comfort and insightful words of wisdom to share faith, hope and love.

bowler 8It was only by chance that I came across Ian. His dear wife had left him with two dogs and taken the children away to another place.

By all accounts he could be heard attending to his needs most early mornings through the party wall. Not that I listened of course.

I met the dogs a few times as they jumped at the gate.

Cute cuddly puppies they were not.

Adult mature licking friendly dogs they were. When let out they would stand on hind legs, paws through fence, tongue licking to find a little affection at the least offer of a pet. Nice dogs as dogs go. Easy to get on with and smart with it.

I never knew their names and they are gone now. In their place is an empty house with a wooden board nailed roughly over the back door to hide the broken glass where someone broke out.

If you peer unannounced through the kitchen window there is dust and rubbish on the floor, mice droppings even. At the back door there is a pile of rusting pet food cans. The shed door lies open and black bags full of old rubbish sit waiting for a collection which may not happen.

If you peer announced the view is just the same.

A broken and rusting silver car sits at the front door. Its tyres flat and bumper resting on the ground suggesting speed bump revenge following a boisterous drive home. Weeds surround it and the unkempt hedge tries to hide the wreckage. It does not work.

A neighbour cut the hedge last year and again this year placing the cuttings in the bin for re-cycling back to the earth. They are still in place and quite uncollected. The council, sadly, require roadside assistance and all wheelie bins must be placed alongside the kerb on the appointed day.

The rules are laid out as plain as parking regulations and the elected councillors have never considered Ian’s needs and never will, unless pressed and even then perhaps not.

The ivy which grew up the back of Ian’s house is dead now. Next door secretly cut it down. At one point it reached into the gutters and roof tiles. Full of insects and nests it posed problems. Now that it is dead and dried up it is a fire hazard.

One January day the police were called. A screaming cat was trapped half way up in the ivy. Too far to jump, it howled for rescue. The police called the feline rescue folk who left some food out but could not tempt it down. Next morning it was gone.

When I met Ian for the first time he seemed a nice lad. When I met him again he seemed just as nice. I met his mum as well. She seemed nice. I asked her to see if Ian was all right. I should have asked her if she was all right perhaps. She said she couldn’t promise to do anything but would try, she hasn’t done much.

Francis, the neighbour down the road has all but given up on Ian’s hedge. Green and tall as it is, it has almost blotted out her daylight. She of course cuts her side but complains about his lack of neighbourliness and who can really blame her.

Ian is not there any more after all and neither are his dogs. Who is there to complain to apart from his dear old mum.

I trust and hope that Ian is all right. We all need neighbours after all.

© Francis Bay 2014. Most rights reserved.