Aberdeenshire Archives - Page 16 of 23

Grim Reality Of Aberdeenshire Budget Cuts

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Dec 312010

By Cllr Martin Ford, Aberdeenshire Council

Decisions by the Westminster and Scottish governments have left Aberdeenshire Council facing its worst budget cuts ever.

For 2011/12, Aberdeenshire Council has no choice but to make cuts in its budget totalling in excess of £30 million. The Council’s funding from the Scottish Government has been reduced and it has had to agree to freeze the Council Tax. In real terms, allowing for inflation, the Council’s Government grant has been cut by more than five per cent

In fact, Aberdeenshire Council’s position is worse than previously thought.

Unexpectedly, just before Christmas, the Scottish Government advised Aberdeenshire Council that the grant figure it had announced for the Council was wrong. Instead of a grant of £426.988 million for 2011/12, Aberdeenshire would be getting more than half a million pounds less, £426.477 million. The Council will have to cut a further £511,000 from its revenue budget for 2011/12 as a result of the Scottish Government’s revision of its grant funding figures.

There is nothing Aberdeenshire Council can do about the level of funding the Scottish Government decides it is to get, and nothing the Council can do about what will come from its other main source of income, the Council Tax (see: Council Tax freeze and many cuts decided, Aberdeen Voice, 26 November 2010).

The task for Aberdeenshire Council is to minimise the impact of the loss of income it now faces on the public services the Council
provides.

The bulk of the saving required in the 2011/12 revenue budget was decided at the full council meeting on 25 November when cuts and efficiencies totalling almost £27 million were voted through by the Council’s Liberal Democrat/Conservative administration.

I am sure many people do not yet realise how the cuts that have been decided will affect them. Standing in the middle of Newmachar the other day, by the village hall, the breadth of the impact of the cuts really came home to me.

I am appalled at what is being done to really important services – and angry because at least the worst of the cuts could so easily have been avoided

Behind me, in the hall car park, were the recycling skips. A cut of £350,000 in spending on information about and promotion of recycling was one of the administration’s budget cuts voted through on 25 November. Optimistically, the administration’s budget for 2012/13 also includes a £500,000 ‘efficiency saving’ achieved through a reduction in the amount of recyclable material going to landfill.

It seems unlikely, to say the least, that cutting virtually the entire budget dedicated to informing people about the importance of recycling will lead the following year to such a dramatic improvement in the recycling rate.

Newmachar village hall is in School Road, a lit street with, by the village hall, a pavement on one side. In the 2011/12 budget, spending on footway maintenance has been cut by £200,000 and the amount allocated to installing dropped kerbs reduced by 50 per cent. Over £100,000 has been docked from spending on testing and maintaining street lights.

Next to the village hall is New Machar School. Provision of classroom assistants in primary schools is to be significantly reduced over the next two years. Spending on classroom assistants is to be cut by 50 per cent (£1.3 million) during 2011 to 2013 and by a further £0.53 million in later years. Spending on primary visiting specialists will be reduced by £200,000 in 2011/12. School devolved budgets are to be cut.

On the opposite side of the road from the village hall is a grass verge on which is sited a dog-waste bin. The administration’s cuts voted through on 25 November include reducing the funding for dog wardens by a third in 2012/13. In 2011/12, £200,000 is to be saved by reducing grass-verge cutting. The budget for village orderlies – a much appreciated service that certainly helped keep towns and villages tidy through the summer – has been cut completely from next year.

Behind the verge opposite the village hall is the cemetery. Spending on grounds maintenance in burial grounds is to be reduced by £130,000 in 2011/12.

Beyond the cemetery is the play park. Spending on maintenance in parks and open spaces is also to be reduced by £130,000 in 2011/12.

Next to the play park is the library. A saving of £80,000 is to be made in 2011/12 by reducing the opening hours of some Aberdeenshire libraries.

Then there are the cuts that don’t show – unless you are a person who depends on the service that is being cut.

I am appalled at what is being done to really important services – and angry because at least the worst of the cuts could so easily have been avoided, had the Scottish Government allowed councils the freedom to decide on their own Council Tax. A two per cent increase in the Council Tax in Aberdeenshire, that is 44 pence per week for a Band D property, would bring in £2.4 million that could be spent on schools or social work. For the cost of a cheap bar of chocolate, cuts to classroom assistants or social care for children could have been avoided.

The Council still has to find around a further £4 million of savings to balance its budget for 2011/12. I hope the administration will work constructively with opposition councillors through the rest of the budget process to minimise the impact of these further cuts on the most crucial Council services.

Old Susannah’s Dictionary No.17

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Dec 192010

Voice’s Old Susannah tackles more tricky terms with a locally topical taste.

The new cuts are well and truly underway. Aberdeen City council met on Wednesday Dec15 and voted to get cracking on the ‘green lighted’ budget cuts, and the rest will follow as night follows day. Old Susannah is certain this round of cuts will bring as much economic stability and prosperity as the last round of budget cuts did.

Cuts are always hard, but are especially unwelcome at this festive time of year. Please then pause to spare a thought for the forgotten victims of these hard times who have been hit hard. I am of course referring to the City Council officials who this year will not be reimbursed for printing their own Christmas cards to send to friends and constituents. Yes, it’s true – you might not get a card this year showing your councillor, their family and the family pet by a fireplace in full technicolour glory, sincerely wishing you and your family the best for 2011. Quite rightly, some of the councillors have complained that this is a cut too far.

Nothing brought quite as much cheer as a Christmas card showing your happy councillor, except perhaps knowing that your tax money helped to pay for it. There is only so much a hardworking councillor can pay for out of their meagre salaries, so if anyone from Future Choices or the Cyrenians is reading this (or anyone else who feels this cut is unfair), please send your councillor a pound or two. Thank you.

By popular demand Old Susannah has been trying to follow up on various animal cruelty stories previously covered in these pages. Our friend the fox batterer, Donald Forbes, is due in the courts early in 2011; he went back on his original confession to clubbing the fox. He then said he was in mortal danger, and merely swung the club near the fox. Now he’s saying nothing. It remains a mystery how the fox was so badly injured it needed to be put down just from having a club swung near it. Maybe Forbes is not a very good golfer.

Coventry’s Mary Bale still can’t explain why she put a cat into a wheelie bin and left it there for some 15 hours

Seagull – shooting Mervyn New of Marine Subsea is making no comment either. Yours truly sent an email to his company and its head office in Norway (asking about its’ guns at work’ policy); both resulted in ‘delivery failure’ messages. I will call them again soon – no doubt they will want to explain why people run around their offices shooting animals.

It’s understood Mr New faces a charge under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981. He could also face a charge alleging the reckless discharge of a firearm. It’s really a sad day when a man can’t shoot bird chicks from his office window; whatever are we coming to? Finally, Coventry’s Mary Bale still can’t explain why she put a cat into a wheelie bin and left it there for some 15 hours. We are meant to have some sympathy for her – her father was critically ill. Personally, I find that sending flowers or making soup for the ill person is usually more beneficial to them than the cat-in-the-bin method.

Committee: A committee is a group formed with common goals to promote a certain activity and/or result. It is also said that ‘A camel is a horse designed by a committee’. The reason Aberdeen runs as well as it does is its structure of committees. There are about 20 of these highly efficient committees, and countless sub-committees and action groups under them. Some of these groups of dedicated, far-seeing professionals include the ‘Audit and Risk’, ‘Development Management’, and ‘Corporate Policy’ and ‘Performance ‘ committees. There is an ‘Urgent Business’ committee as well.

We might be about 70 million pounds out of budget, but we do have time, money and resources for a ‘taxi consultation group’. Then again, with the money spent by Kate Dean alone on taxis, it’s probably a good idea this group exists. One of my sources confirms that we are still frequently sending taxis instead of using buses to transport school children and adult groups where buses would be far more economical. I am surprised – I thought most adult groups had been done away with.

Kate Dean is such a genius; her diverse talents enable her to successfully do a host of diverse jobs at one time

It is good that we have a Disability Advisory Group. The best advice I can think of for someone with special needs would be to move to somewhere that won’t slash its disability budget, or at least will clear the pavements in winter so you can leave your home. (PS – do bear in mind that ‘Future Choices’ replaced ‘Choices’ which the Council axed. They could, I’m sure, use a donation or two).

But clearly it is the Audit and Risk Management team that we all owe so much to. We could be in an awful mess if we didn’t have people looking after our budget. Risk managers must have been quite busy ensuring the City resolved its equal pay problems so successfully and swiftly. And when one arm of the city council took another branch to court recently over a housing/services dispute – spending yet more taxpayer money in the process, it was great to know that risk managers somewhere made sure the City didn’t waste money or look like a laughing stock.

Old Susannah will have a look at these wonderful committees in more depth soon.

Diversity, Diversification: Diversity refers to a condition of being composed of different elements. Leonardo daVinci was a genius with a wide ranging diversity of talents – sculptor, designer, painter, scientist. It is often said that we have not seen his like again, but in Aberdeen we have our own example. Our very own Kate Dean is such a genius; her diverse talents enable her to successfully do a host of diverse jobs at one time. She was leader of our Council before becoming head of Planning, and it is clear for all to see what talent she’s brought to those roles. But our Kate finds that her role as councillor and head of planning leave enough free time for various Board of Director roles.

The state of Grampian NHS can be attributed to Ms Dean’s presence on the Board. She was, of course, also on the Board of the successful AECC. Of course a few million pounds were needed to keep the AECC afloat, and the auditors prepared a damning report (which the Council had to discuss in secret this week). And the NHS locally may be in a bleak condition, fighting superbugs and parasites, but this could happen to anyone. It is clear that without Kate Dean having such diverse talents and skills, we would not be where we are today. Let’s give thanks where it is due.

In the old days, a worker or a company had to diversify to stay with the times. You don’t see to many coopers and blacksmiths in town these days. The camera and photographic supply giant Kodak saw the digitial age coming and immediately embraced it. They changed their business model from concentrating on making film-producing cameras and supplies to become an online giant for digital products.

However, we don’t want to have to make everyone diversify. Every week there are glaring headlines pertaining to the nuclear industry and the new home building trade screaming ‘JOB LOSSES COMING. Naturally we don’t ever want to stop making nuclear weapons – someone might lose a job. And as long as there are green fields we can build on, let’s not make the builders diversify into any other lines of work. This should be self evident.

Aberdeenshire Council Budget Update

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Dec 182010

By Cllr Martin Ford, Aberdeenshire Council

Last week a key decider of Aberdeenshire Council’s 2011/12 revenue budget became known – the level of grant support the Council will be getting from the Scottish Government.

It is important to remember that Scottish councils depend on the Scottish Government for the vast bulk – around 80 per cent – of the money they need to meet the cost of providing public services.

An overall cut in its funding for local government next year of 2.6 per cent has been promised by the Scottish Government provided councils agree to a Council Tax freeze and other measures – otherwise the cut in grant funding for councils is to be 6.4 per cent.

Aberdeenshire Council has already decided that it will freeze the Council Tax and meet the other terms set by the Scottish Government as conditions for a smaller cut in its grant (see: Council Tax Freeze and Many Cuts Decided, Aberdeen Voice, 26 November 2010).

By enforcing a Council Tax freeze, the Scottish Government has removed from councils any real say over the total amount they have to spend.

In fact, within the overall 2.6 per cent reduction in funding for councils, Aberdeenshire Council has done relatively well. It will receive funding of £427 million from the Scottish Government towards the running costs of council services in the financial year 2011/12.
This is a cut of 1.9 per cent in cash terms – not as bad as expected and not as bad as the 2.6 per cent average reduction in funding councils are facing.

A 1.9 per cent cut in cash terms, though, is a cut of more than 5 per cent in real terms – once inflation and other increases in costs are taken into account. This is a severe cut.

Moreover, as a result of the formula used to distribute funding amongst councils, Aberdeenshire is still receiving a much lower grant per head of population than most councils do. Aberdeenshire Council receives more than 12.5 per cent less than the average amount of funding provided to councils per head of population. And unlike many councils, Aberdeenshire also has to cope with the budgetary pressures that result from having a growing population.

Aberdeenshire Council’s Liberal Democrat/Conservative administration voted through budget cuts and savings totalling almost £27 million at the November full council meeting. Efficiencies and cuts were approved right across the range of public services provided by the Council.

However, the extent of further spending reductions – beyond the £27 million of cuts and savings already voted through – required to achieve a balanced revenue budget for 2011/12 could not be worked out until the Council’s grant settlement became known. The 1.9 per cent cut in the Council’s funding from the Scottish Government means additional savings totalling around £3.5 million will now have to be found.

Council finance officers are still seeking clarification from the Scottish Government regarding some of the conditions that the Council has to comply with in order to avoid the threatened funding cut of 6.4 per cent. There is therefore still some uncertainty about the full financial implications of what the Council will have to do in order to have its funding cut by 1.9 per cent.

So while it is now clear that the Council will have to find additional savings of close to £3.5 million, the exact amount still cannot be calculated.

In total, Aberdeenshire Council will have to cut approximately £30.5 million of spending to balance its revenue budget for 2011/12.

That is going to have a serious impact on Council services and on some service users.

The Council is responsible for deciding exactly what it will cut.
However, it has been put in a position where the total saving required has been decided for it – and for that the Scottish Government must take responsibility.

A ‘Cracker’ Of A Ceilidh This Christmas

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Dec 172010

With thanks to Charlie Abel.

Local band Iron Broo are returning to the Culter Club this Saturday for a night of festive fun and dancing.

Their Christmas Ceilidh night has become a popular annual feature in their hectic gig schedule and is a rare opportunity to catch the band in action at a public event. Most of the band’s gigs are private functions, weddings and corporate events; only a small number are open to the public and are often sold out. So don’t miss your chance to hear them.

Tickets have been selling well for the Christmas Ceilidh but there are still some available.

The Iron Broo ceilidh band have exported their particular style of Aberdonian ceilidh music all round the globe. In recent years they have been to Ireland, Netherlands, Latvia, Norway, Spain and even darkest Englandshire. They have also appeared no less than seven times at T in the Park.

“We’ve sailed the seven seas, fought a hundred battles, shed a thousand tears and lifted the spirits of millions …” said the bouzouki man Fred – tongue firmly in cheek.

Their only commercially available CD which was recorded Live at the Moray Ceilidh Club in Elgin is available through out the world on iTunes and is advertised as a best seller by Amazon.

The Culter Club is a private club and has one of the largest dance halls in the Aberdeen area. It also hosts regular dances throughout the year for members and their friends. It is always a risk having a Ceilidh out of the centre of the town but as the Christmas Ceilidh has become a regular event at Culter, there is a real sense of community spirit and the audience span the ages. Many locals brave the snow to make it to the ceilidh every year; and the band have also offered to assist in towing out anyone who happens to get caught in the snow in the car park after the gig!

So forget the forecast, ‘Snow’ good bidin’ at hame, ‘Skate’ on doon and keep warm in style!

There will be the fantastic Iron Broo M&S Christmas Hamper raffle and a special guest Ballroom DJ during the break giving some instruction to some ballroom classics. Iron Broo will also call all the ceilidh dances so even if you have never been to a ceilidh before they promise to have you ‘jiggin’ awa furiously in nae time!’

There will be a bar available for various refreshments.

Christmas Ceilidh
Saturday 18^th December 2010
The Culter Club, Cairn Road, Peterculter. 01224 733578

Doors will be open from 7.30pm and dancing will start around 8pm.

Tickets £10 adults – £4 under 16 – Free to under 6.

Seating reservations available with advance bookings (call Charlie 07802 861390). Tickets also available on the door.

Ticket information is available on their website. (link to:http://www.ironbroo.co.uk/CeilidhGigsNews.html )

Council Tax Freeze and Many Cuts Decided

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Nov 262010

By Councillor Martin Ford.

Yesterday (25th November), Aberdeenshire Council took important decisions about its budget for the financial year 2011/12.

It was one of the worst days I have had as an Aberdeenshire councillor.

First, the Council had to decide whether it would accept Finance Secretary John Swinney’s ‘offer’ of a funding cut of 2.6 per cent (£10.243 million) in return for the Council agreeing to a package of measures including no increase in the Council Tax.

On this the Council was unanimous – because the alternative was so much worse. If the Council refused to comply with the conditions set by Mr Swinney for a 2.6 per cent cut in funding, funding would be cut instead by 6.4 per cent, or £27.093 million.
Faced with losing an additional £16.850 million in grant, the Council effectively had no choice but to agree to meet the requirements for the smaller cut in funding.

Agreeing to freeze the Council Tax is not the same as agreeing with freezing the Council Tax – as several councillors made clear. Enforcing a Council Tax freeze on councils is wrong in principle. The decision as to what balance to strike between raising additional revenue and cutting council services is properly one for councils and not the Scottish Government.

Had Mr Swinney allowed councils to decide on the level of Council Tax next year, some of the cuts to services could have been avoided. In the case of Aberdeenshire, the Band D Council Tax is £1141. A one per cent increase, £11.41 per year or 22 pence per week, would bring in around £1.2 million to help pay for public services.

There is, though, to be no increase in the Council Tax – just a cut in government grant. Although the cut will be 2.6 per cent in cash terms, in real terms, allowing for inflation and cost pressures, the cut is 7.9 per cent. Having made the decision to comply with the conditions set for a 2.6 per cent cut in funding, the second debate at yesterday’s Council meeting was on the cuts that would be required to achieve a balanced budget.

This was a grim experience indeed.

it appears that Aberdeenshire Council has already decided on most of the cuts it will make in next year’s budget

Councillors were provided with a huge list of potential cuts and efficiencies that together were projected to save almost £27 million. The cuts identified ranged from fewer teachers and classroom assistants to reduced opening hours for swimming pools, fewer social work staff, ending grants to voluntary organisations and reducing grounds maintenance.

Councillors were warned that to make these cuts from the start of the 2011/12 financial year, work had to start immediately. Making staff redundant is not something that can be rushed.

While it was certainly necessary to authorise the Council’s management to continue preparation work so the cuts identified could be implemented if agreed when the Council sets its 2011/12 budget on 10 February, the Council’s Liberal Democrat/Conservative administration went further. Summing up the debate on the cuts options, the Council leader, Cllr Anne Robertson, made clear that agreement to proceed with work on the cuts listed was a decision to make them.

The cuts were approved by a large majority.

On this basis, it appears that Aberdeenshire Council has already decided on most of the cuts it will make in next year’s budget. Depending on the exact grant settlement the Council receives from the Scottish Government, some additional savings will need to be found before budget day in February.

We will find out exactly what the Council will get in grant funding in two weeks time.

March on Saturday 27th November

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Events, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Nov 252010

With thanks to Mark Chapman of PCS Union.

On Saturday 27 November at 11.00, Aberdeen Trades Union Council members, trade unionists and representatives of community groups from throughout Aberdeen will march from St Nicholas Church, Union Street, to an anti-racism rally in Castlegate.

A range of speakers will talk about racism, the anti-public sector cuts campaign and the campaign against privatisation of Royal Mail.

Mark Chapman of the Public and Commercial Services Union (PCS) commented:

“We have recently seen activity by the BNP and National Front in Aberdeen. In a number of cases they have distributed racist literature to children outside city schools. There is no place for these beliefs in our society and Saturday’s march and rally is our opportunity to get this message across. Please join us to send out a clear signal – these people are not welcome in our community.

“Public sector cuts will have a huge effect in and around Aberdeen. With the city council set to make cuts of £127 million, there cannot fail to be a detrimental effect on every member of our community.

“Royal Mail privatisation will also lead to huge job cuts. This is a service that we all rely on and can trust. To privatise it would lead to a less-accountable and far more costly service for users”.

Horrific Scale Of Council Cuts Becomes Clearer

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Nov 192010

By Cllr Martin Ford, Aberdeenshire Council.

Following the announcement on Wednesday (17th November) by Finance Secretary John Swinney of the Scottish Government’s budget proposals, the scale of the cuts required at Aberdeenshire Council has become slightly clearer.

If the Council agrees to freeze the Council Tax and other measures, it will have its government funding cut by around £10 million. If it does not agree to freeze the Council Tax, it will lose around £30 million from its government funding support.

Effectively, Mr Swinney has re-introduced Council Tax capping, with the cap set at no increase at all. Preventing some of the threatened cuts in services by a measured rise in the Council Tax has to all intents and purposes been ruled out – although there is a strong case for taking that option. As it is, that choice has been denied to communities and their elected representatives by a Scottish Government that is showing no respect for local democratic decision-making and is forcing councils to make cuts that could have been avoided.

Freezing the Council Tax is clearly financially unsustainable and, given inflation and rising costs, is effectively a tax cut. A Council Tax freeze as a temporary measure when budgets were rising was one thing. Forcing councils to, in effect, cut local tax when their grant funding is also being reduced is quite another.

Far from reducing the impact of budget cuts arising from decisions at Westminster the Scottish Government is adding cuts of its own.

Mr Swinney’s statement has left a lot of uncertainty surrounding the funding for local government next year. It has provided no basis for forward planning for future years.

Freezing the Council Tax is clearly financially unsustainable and, given inflation and rising costs, is effectively a tax cut

As best it is possible to judge at this stage, taking into account higher costs and other pressures, Aberdeenshire Council is probably going to have to cut around £30 million from its budget for 2011/12.

Some of the savings required can certainly be achieved by finding efficiencies. But with such a huge funding shortfall, cuts in services are, sadly, inevitable.

On Thursday next week (25th November), the Council will start the process of deciding what services to cut. Council finance officers are advising that the Council will need to make savings of almost £17 million by cutting services, with the balance of savings being achieved by efficiencies and increases in charges.

The reduction in the Council’s budget is expected to result in a loss of around 900 full-time equivalent posts. This is almost 10 per cent of the Council’s workforce.

This is not the first time Aberdeenshire Council has had to make cuts in services. But this is far worse than anything I have experienced since I was first elected in 1999. The budget cut required is significantly more. And this time the option of reducing the cuts by increasing income from the Council Tax has been denied to the Council by the Scottish Government. The Council really has very little room for manoeuvre. It gets to decide what to cut, but the scale of the overall cut has been decided for it.

Painful Budget Cuts Unavoidable

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Nov 152010

By Cllr Martin Ford, Aberdeenshire Council

Next February, councils will set their revenue budgets for the financial year 2011/12. It looks certain that the funding councils receive from government will be reduced, leaving councils with no choice but to make painful cuts to a wide range of public services.

Aberdeenshire Council will be no different from other councils in the difficult decisions it will have to take.

The Council’s revenue budget – the budget that pays for the running costs of Council services – is currently £550 million. Around 20 per cent of that comes from the Council Tax, the Council offsets the cost of some services by charging users, but the vast bulk of the Council’s funding comes, in one form or another, from the Scottish Government. Even before the Council Tax freeze, the Council only had control over a small proportion of its income. Now, effectively, the amount the Council has to spend on services is fixed by the grant funding it receives from government. If the Council is given less, it will have to cut its spending accordingly.

One problem for the Council is that, only three months before setting its budget, it still does not know what size of spending cut it will have to make.

Aberdeenshire may have to make savings of anything from £25 to £40 million next year. It could even be more, or less, than that range. Until the Scottish Government makes its decisions, the Council is having to plan for a variety of scenarios.

The position will become clearer when the Scottish Government’s draft budget for 2011/12 is published on Wednesday. The Council will probably have to wait until close to Christmas before it finds out exactly what level of funding it will receive from the Scottish Government next year.

I have been a councillor for eleven years. Setting the Council’s revenue budget is always challenging. There is never enough money to fund all the services the Council would ideally provide. The cost of providing services goes up every year due to price increases (especially, in recent years, for electricity and heating), staff salaries and, in some key areas, more people needing the service. For most of the last ten years, though, the Council has received additional funding from government, but not usually enough to fully cover the increased cost of keeping services running as before.

For the first time in my experience, the Council’s overall budget is set to shrink

Arriving at a balanced budget for the following year required some spending to be cut and savings made even though there was to be a rise in the Council’s total spending.

This year will be different. For the first time in my experience, the Council’s overall budget is set to shrink. Savings (or cuts) will have to be found to offset all the rises in costs since last year, and the Council will have to cut spending to match the reduction in income from government grant. Since the Council has been seeking savings every year already, there are no (or very few) easy options for achieving this.

Personally, I will want to support measures that as far as possible protect education and social services, reduce the Council’s carbon emissions and which accord with sound financial management.

There are a few savings that I think the Council should not find it too difficult to agree. One example is funding for unadopted roads.

The Council will struggle to adequately fund the maintenance of public roads, a clear council responsibility. It can’t afford to contribute towards the cost of maintaning or improving roads it is not responsible for that provide access across private land.

Ending funding contributions to unadopted roads would save the Council £300,000 – a worthwhile saving but only a small fraction of the savings the Council needs to make.

Raising additional tax revenue from those who can afford to pay would be a good start

I hope the Council will use the budget process to acknowledge that it cannot afford what it would have to pay if the Western Peripheral Route was built.

Unfortunately, however, it is difficult to see how the Council will be able to balance its budget without making cuts in education and social work. These are the services which account for the bulk of the Council’s spending. The education budget alone accounts for nearly half of what the Council spends each year.

Cutting education or social work is the last thing I want to do – but the Council cannot spend money it does not have.

It is also true that the UK budget deficit cannot be ignored – reducing it is essential – but there are alternatives to the draconian cuts in public services and welfare the Liberal Democrat/Conservative coalition government has chosen. Raising additional tax revenue from those who can afford to pay would be a good start. The Scottish Government too could use its powers over taxation to reduce the scale of the cuts if it wanted to.

Given the scale of the likely cuts, I believe asking some people to contribute a bit more towards the cost of public services would have been a far better and fairer option.

The Forty Poun’ Froonyal

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Nov 122010

By George Anderson.

In these post credit crunch-times, with predicted belt-tightening likely to bring tears to a glass eye, I wonder whether there might be resurgence of the cheap funerals (known in the patois of the north-east of Scotland as ‘froonyals’) of my youth. A good illustration would be the froonyal of my uncle Chunty in 1968:

Chunty’s family huddle together in the front pew. This is due more to a failure of the chapel radiators than anything related to a group hug. The pews behind the immediate family creak under the combined weight of people to whom Chunty is related through drink. The organist battles his way through a double time version of ‘Abide With Me’.

This has been written specially for low cost funerals by the Reverend Melrose Nochty himself.

Melrose strides in to the chapel and ascends to the pulpit two steps at a time. At the summit, he signals the organist, Mr Leiper, to pack it in—sharpish like, by throwing a hymn book at his head. Melrose starts talking before the final strangled blasts of air struggle out of the organ pipes.

‘Up ye get,’ he says, and lifts his palms toward the rafters. The congregation scramble to their feet. ‘Dearly beloved, et cetera, et cetera, and et cetera … Matthew, Mark, Luke and John … pearls before swine … Sit doon.’

He fishes an alarm clock out of the dark recesses of his ministerial garments, winds it up, and slams it down on the edge of the pulpit. The congregation sit down.

Melrose is talking faster than an auctioneer at a cattle station in Woolawonga. “Stand up! The Lord may well be my Shepherd, but let’s face it”, he waves a hand toward a plywood casket , “judging by Chunty’s pitiful record of church attendance, it’ll be easier for the Turra Coo to pass through the centre o’ a doughring than for Chunty tae enter the Kindom o’ Heaven.

A thundercloud of Old Testament wrath passes across the Reverend Nochty’s scowling face

Now, sit doon, sit doon for God’s sake. I haven’t got all day.”

From his lofty perch Melrose looks down at the organist’s toupee.

‘Mr Leiper will now play an ex-tremely short extract from the twenty-third Psalm.’ Mr Leiper’s fingers scurry over the keys like mice fleeing a burning barn. Eight bars in, Melrose again signals Mr Leiper to cease and desist, this time by repeatedly banging a hymn book on the edge of the pulpit and shouting ‘All right, that’ll do, this isn’t an organ recital, Mr Leiper.’

Melrose clasps his hands before him and closes his eyes. “Jonah in the belly of the whale…Sermon on the mount… Feeding o the twa thoosan”—’ a voice from the back of the chapel, interrupts.

“Is it nae five thoosan’, minister? The feedin o the five thoosan’?”

A thundercloud of Old Testament wrath passes across the Reverend Nochty’s scowling face. He speaks. “Listen pal, you shouldnae’ even be here. Now sit doon.”

“I am sittin doon!”’

“Well, stand up and then sit doon.”

He pauses, grips the edges of the lectern and looks at the congregation with a measure of contempt normally reserved for the criminally insane. His voice drops an octave. “There’ll be weepin”,’ he says “and there’ll be a fair skelp o wailin’ intae the bargain.” He stabs a finger in the vague direction of the front pews. “An’ by Christ, teeth’ll be gnashed ‘n’ aa! Stand up, sit doon, and pey attention”.

Now it is the widow’s turn to interrupt. “Will ye be much langer?’ she asks. ‘Only, there’s a steen’ cold cert rinnin’ in the three thirty at Perth and the nearest bookie’s fower miles awa.”

Melrose gives her the vees and gathers from the alarm clock that it is time to wind up the service. “Get up and start prayin, real fast”, he says. He lowers his head fast enough to get whiplash. “Oh Lord, please tak’ Chunty tae yer bosom. In yer own hivvenly time, of course, but seener rather than later, if ye dinna mind. I’ve anither three o these to get through afore lowsin’ time.”

He raises his arms and clears his throat. “Ashes tae ashes, stew tae stew, Chunty’s awa, and so are you”, Melrose’s alarm clock goes off, forcing him to raise his voice. ‘Sit doon, stand up, and shove right off.” The congregation do not have to be told twice; there is a stampede through the chapel doors reminiscent of the opening thirty seconds of a Next sale.

Old Susannah’s Dictionary No.12 – Budget Special.

Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Nov 122010

Voice’s Old Susannah tackles more tricky terms with a locally topical taste.

Surfboard, Boogieboard, Waterboard.
All just harmless fun really. No less a person than the former US President, George ‘Dubya’ Bush has explained in his new book that without waterboarding (which really isn’t so bad apparently – it can’t kill you – usually), lives would have been lost*. Sometimes little things like the Geneva Convention, the Bill of Rights, the EU Convention, etc. have to be put to one side. A little torture can be a good thing; and after all, there is a long history supporting its use.

If we hadn’t tortured people in the past, how would we have know for certain that witches flew on broomsticks to meet Satan at black masses, ruined crops and turned people into newts? After just a little torture, thousands confessed to the truth of devil worship. Of course whether or not torture is OK all depends on who is doing the torture: Western torturers good; Eastern ones bad. Glad to have cleared that up. Two mysteries remain: How come no one cracked under (judicious and necessary) torture and said where all those Weapons of Mass Destruction were hidden? Secondly, I’d love to find out how Dubya, who from most accounts can barely read, managed to write a book. This is the man who complained in a speech that more and more of America’s imports were coming from abroad.

*I wonder how else lives could have been saved in this situation. Give the UK troops equipment that worked and matched the conditions? Not go to war in the first place? No, can’t think of a thing but torture.

Brief maths quiz:
If you start with a deficit of 52 million pounds, then fail to collect over £15 million owed to you, then start a project for £80 million pounds and contemplate a £140 million pound car park, don’t pay staff correctly by £X million, and announce you want to go into the concert business by buying an exhibition centre which you’ve already spent a minimun of £36 million on, while cutting millions formerly used to support vulnerable, schools and parks then what is the result? The answer, according to a recent Aberdeen City Council is a £9 million pound surplus. That is according to outgoing Sue Bruce in a recent ACC press release.

Press Release.
A press release is a piece of writing sent to newspapers and television, used to call attention to what a wonderful job you are doing. Press Releases are sent in the hope that the media will run your story. Of course accuracy in Press releases is managed by seasoned professionals who take great care to get the facts correct.

The Aberdeen City Council writes press releases religiously – and quite rightly so, with the calibre of their accomplishments. Sadly, the Press and Journal printed (per standard practice) one of the City’s releases which concerned the amount of unpaid council tax. There was a City press release which claimed around £43 million was unclaimed and that one in three households had to be taken to court over unpaid council tax.

The P&J printed these figures, relying on the accuracy of the press release. Naturally, this was a mistake. The higher-ups in the Council read the figures in the news, went ballistic, and went into action. Instead of issuing a new press release stating their mistake, they decided to publicly blame the P&J for getting its sums wrong. This resulted in an editorial by the P&J accusing the Council of being less than generous with the truth. It ended with words along the lines of “… we (the P&J) will accept the blame for our mistakes – Brazen attempts to shift the blame (by the City) we can’t.” Thankfully, it is only about £30 million that the City is owed in Council tax. Easy to misplace the odd £14 million or so; Old Susannah does it all the time. But then again, expect this figure to change in a day or two.

Budget Cuts.
Even though we are rich, everyone needs budget cuts. A budget cut is what you to to preserve what is essential, or in Council-speak, what is a ‘core service’. Core services include running concerts at a loss, making Olympic swimmers, and taking trips.

We all have to budget – how many tens of thousands of pounds do you spend on outfits to wear to important events per year, how much to spend on travel, how much to spend on propping up white elephants (like the AECC). In order to meet our budgets, hard choices must be made. Do you cut grandma’s care support? Junior’s school? Close the backyard swimming pool? Stop giving to the poor? Stop feeding the birds? Of course you do. And our Council budgets wisely as well.

You will be very happy to hear that Sue Bruce announced a £9 million surplus. No doubt this money will be earmarked for the vitally- important Olympic pool: what could be more important than Aberdeen winning an Olympic medal for swimming ? – which seems an absolute certainty. Millions will be saved by closing all the regional swimming pools (particularly the ones which have recently beeen refurbished). One giant Olympic pool is all you and the family need. You’ll also get your exercise just by getting to it – now that the bus fares have risen above inflation rates.

But don’t expect to exercise in the parks any longer – they are getting the axe – possibly literally. All that money spent in the past on blue skies, green grass, clean air, biodiversity, play areas has been done away with. If the parks can’t make money as they are, the sooner they are turned into something profitable the better.

We will not, however face the loss of a single pounds worth of our real estate portfolio, which we cherish and which is the envy of the civilised world. All those boarded up buildings are safe. Rest easy.

Thankfully there is money towards a regional ‘super prison’ – presumably for those who can’t – or won’t pay their council tax. The level of tax has been frozen for a few years – so have many people’s salaries. However, our services such as police, libraries, teachers, services for people with special needs and the elderly have halved. I wonder if we should all apply for a refund, as we’re not getting one half of what we paid for to start with. Just a thought.

At least at the end of it, we have preserved Marischal College. Since its entire interior has been scrapped (including books seen thrown into skips), our brand of ‘preservation’ is akin to the preservation of the taxidermist.

Next week:

No mention of the 9-0 Celtic/Aberdeen Result – that would be unkind. Some people believe the management (S Milne, proprietor) is not investing in the club sufficiently. However, once we have a football/community stadium twice the size of the present AFC home, the crowds will fill it up completely, and the club’s morale will be so boosted it wins lots of silverware.

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