Poetry Archives - Page 22 of 25

The Oligarchy Dream

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Apr 082011

By John David Fraser.

Shop shop shop shop till you drop.
Dont ever think, dont ever stop
but wait a minute, here’s a thought.
What are these things that you have bought?
What benefits do they bring?
The hi-tech phones, the diamond rings,
and all the other pointless bling,
they are all tools of mass distraction
to distort true human interaction.

Its BUY BUY BUY, SALE SALE SALE!
75% discount on your thoughts derailed.
Nike trainers, Adidas hat.
Wheres your logo? Whats with that?
I ask what are the deeper meanings?
Behind the scenes there is a scheming.
Something which most neither see nor understand.
The false logos. The hidden hand.

For material life, I’ve heard it say
is but a game of monopoly.
For when our souls leave this plane,
the pieces go back in the box again.

But people do not want to see it seems.
They ignore the truth to feed the meme.
The elitist oligarchy dream
to tear our souls from seam to seam.
Some people say the devil is in the detail.
I say the devil is in the retail

Lament Fer The Northeast

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion No Responses »

Apr 072011

By Bob Smith.

Faar’s the likes o Tammy Mitchell
A provost wi nae falderals
Nae cavortin wi Acsef types
Or big lood moo’d Yankee pals

Provost Mitchell he spak the lingo
O the local North East lan
Ye aye kent fit wis fit
Fin Tammy shook yer haun

Nae mair chiels like Bob Boothby
Or mannies like yon Robert Hughes
Ye micht nae agreed wi their politicks
Be ye kent they’d peyed life’s dues

Jist mealie-mou’d gabbin gadgies
In the political scene the noo
Maist o oor Scottish MSPs
Shud bi on the bliddy Broo

Nae worthies in oor local council
Like Dick Gallagher or Alex Collie
Jist a bunch o maistly fearty fowk
An we greet at aa their folly

Nae muckle fish landed at Aiberdeen
Since the discovery o aa the ile
Nae mony fish market porters
Hiv ye seen noo fer a fyle

Nae chatter o riveters haimmers
Or the soond o tackety boots
Jist the noise o fower bi fowers
Driven bi billies in Armani suits

The young in oor wee villages
Canna afford ti buy a hoose
The reason is ower plain ti see
Incomers hiv bin lit loose

Fowk faa wark miles awa
In the toon o Aiberdeen
Hiv snaffled aa the village hooses
Or as holiday hames they’re teen

Nae mony local shops o ony note
Cos they’ve aa gin ti the wa
Nae langer a leevel playin field
Supermarkets hiv pinched the ba

We eesed ti hae a gweed paper
The P&J wis aye breezy an bright
It’s nae langer kent as impartial
The pages are noo fu o shite

Nae chunce o mince an skirlie
At some funcy restaurant placies
The chef wid look doon his nose
An pull affa funny facies

The reason he wid gie ye
As he whisks up his blancmange
Is ye canna serve up skirlie
Wi a dish o Duck a l’orange

At Pittodrie I watched gweed fitba
Faar players talents war set free
Noo it’s aa blackboard tactics
Wi systems 4-5-1 an 4-3-3

N.E. culture some say is wanein
Bit the Doric it still huds fast
An as lang as we aye spik it
It’ll nae bi in the past

I’m sure ye’ll bi noo hae gethered
I’m haein a wee rant an rail
An if a happen ti lan in jile
Wull somebody please pey ma bail

Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011

Anither Bliddy Hypocrite

Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Mar 302011

By Bob Smith.

Noo oor Widdie he his made ma laach
I think the mannie’s jist made a gaffe
Fin he ranted at thon Chuncellor Dod
Faa I’m sure he thinks an ignorant sod

Chuncellor Dod raised the North Sea tax
Sir Ian thinks iss is maist affa lax
Geordie Osborne shud hae asked the view
O Sir Ian Widd an aa his motley crew

Wi the ile industry Dod’s nae consulted
So Widdie wis maybe a bittie insulted
Seems the chuncellor shud hae first teen heed
O the haill ile industry an aa their creed

A wee bit o a hypocrite ye cwid caa Sir Ian
Aiberdonians thochts they wir sint fleein
Aboot UTG plans Sir Ian, ye ignored oor view
So fit wye shud Dod Osborne tak heed o you

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011

Prood Ti Be A Teuchter

Aberdeenshire, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour Comments Off

Mar 252011

By Bob Smith.

It’s noo weel nigh on fifty ear
Seen I left ma faither’s fairm
Ti gyang an bide in the toon
An there ti chunce ma airm

Bit noo I’m growein auler
Ma myn gings back a fyle
Fin I wis classed a kwintra teuchter
Brocht up in a different style

There’s nae muckle wrang I maun confess
Wi a body faa wis born in the toon
Bit on fowk faa spikkit the Doric
Some ower their noses wid look doon

Noo the jobbie I wis fee’t fer
Hid me spikkin aat bit mair posh
The thingies yer asked ti dee
Fin ye need ti earn some dosh

Bit losh ye nivver forget yer roots
An I still spik in the Doric tongue
An on the odd antrin nicht
A cornkister I hiv sung

So I’m prood ti be a teuchter
Prood ti be an aul kwintra loon
An I’ll stick twa fingers up
Ti them faa wid ding us doon

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2010

Maist Cooncillors Wid Mak Ye Cry

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour Comments Off

Mar 182011

By Bob Smith.

(Ti bi sung ti the melody o “Ghost Riders in the Sky”)

As I gid waakin ower the wye doon bye Union Street
The scene fit I could see wid mak ye bliddy greet
Aathing noo are multiples wi jist the odd local shoppie
Nae ony sma businesses or cafes ained by the Giulianottis

Noo on the scene cams Sir Ian Widd he is a local chiel
Treatin aa the fowk wi disdain as tho they’re bliddy feel
Wi a vision fer UT Gairdens we fin affa hard ti bear
The bonnie trees an shrubbies oot the grun he’d like ti tear

Numpties yi Ohhhh
Numpties yi Yaaaay
Maist cooncillors wid mak ye cry

The Acsef gowks an the cooncillors hiv noo backit iss scheme
Ti cover ower the gairdens an realise oor Widdie’s dream
Despite the public votin no an sayin jist bugger aff
Leave oor bonnie gairdens, yer ideas they are naff

Up pops wee Stewartie Milne wi plans for the Triple Kirks
Sir Ian Widd’s ideas fit in wi his so he thinks we’re stupid birks
A biggin fit’s nae pleasin, jist fu o gless an steel
Aa the architecture roon aboot wid loss it’s great appeal

Numpties yi Ohhhh
Numpties yi Yaaay
Maist cooncillors wid mak ye cry

They’re pluntin trees on Tullos Hill for us aa ti enjoy
Yet cullin o the resident deer iss seems a stupid ploy
Oor cooncillors ti protect the trees winna spend ony dosh
They’re thinkin o the venison steaks, ti bi served ti them as nosh

Oor cooncillors they hiv nae sense, fowk noo think they’re mad
Lossin the grant for the Peacock scheme iss wis maist affa sad
It’s nae the only thing the cooncil’s tint, they’ve lost the plot as weel
Nae wunner Aiberdonians think the haill damn’t lot are feel

Numpties yi Ohhhh
Numpties yi Yaaay
Maist cooncillors wid mak ye cry

Cock-Ups An Muddles Are Aa On The Go

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour Comments Off

Mar 112011

Cock-Ups An Muddles Are Aa On The Go – by Bob Smith.

( Ti bi sung ti the tune o Molly Malone )

In Aiberdeen’s fair toonie
Faar cooncillors are thocht looney
Bides a cooncil convener
Named Aileen Malone
An she wheels oot her spiel
Aboot the Tullos Hill deal
Cryin show us yer money
Or the beasties are gone

Aa on the go
Aa on the go
Cock-ups an Muddles are aa on the go

She got aroon fifty queries
Fits the fate o the deeries?
“Aboot” een fae the city an een fae the shire?
Sayin the rest are nae local
Aboot iss she’s maist vocal
Cryin ti fin oot addresses
I hiv nae desire

Aa on the go
Aa on the go
Cock-ups an Muddles are aa on the go

Noo there’s something I’m sure
She hisna a clue—er
Maybe they cam fae the toon efter aa
Fae Torry or Ellon?
The wifie’s nae tellin
Cryin I’m jist a puir cooncillor
Faa’s back’s ti the wa

Aa on the go
Aa on the go
Cock-ups an Muddles are aa on the go

Oh the wumman’s fair sweatin
At the pelters she’s gettin
Maybe at coontin she’s nae verra gweed
Cooncillor Malone dinna dither
Jist git ti hell thither
Ti buy a new abacus
It’s jist fit ye need

Aa on the go
Aa on the go
Cock-ups an Muddles are aa on the go

Lament For Aiberdeen

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion Comments Off

Mar 032011

By Bob Smith.

Greet fer oor eence great city
Fer Aiberdonians hae great pity
A toon run by a bunch o eeseless feels
A cooncil in the pooch o business chiels

Greet fer oor eence bonnie toon
Faar we’ve bin brocht roon
Ti a city run bi them aat’s rich
Faar protest they wid like ti ditch

Greet fer democracy twixt Don an Dee
A toon faar the cooncillors boo the knee
Kowtowin ti aa thon Acsef bunch
Fit for? Maybe the odd free lunch?

Greet fer the greenbelt an hae a groan
A briggie ti be biggit near Tillydrone
A fitba stadium fit glowes reid
The Loch o Loirston’ll seen bi deid

Greet fer the green lungs o the toon
Faar UTG’s trees wull be cut doon
Ti be replaced by a rich chiel’s vision
Time we aa treated iss wi derision

Fit’s happenin noo we shud lament
An banish oor cooncillors ti Tashkent
Bit lit us nae get ower doon in the moo
We micht yet dunce ti a jig fae Iron Broo

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”2010

City Deevilment Company

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Feb 252011

By Bob Smith.

Jist hud on a wee meen’tie
Noo fit’s aa iss crap?
A City Development Co.
Ti pit us aa on e map

Maist likely a Deevilment Co
Is fit fowk micht jalouse
Tryin ti sneak throwe ideas
So UTG we wid lose

Awa wi yer cooncil haverins
Dinna listen ti them craw
If private sector’s involved
It’ll be nae eese ava

The heid-bummer o the company
Is ti be a business mannie
We’ll hae ti be richt vigilant
So’s e buggers they ca canny

Transferin assets o oor toon
Am nae happy wi at aa
Iss micht be legalised robbery
O city “treasures” fit are braw

Noo aroon the eyn o April
Aathing micht become mair clear
Aiberdonians afore aat tho’
Shud stan up an bliddy jeer

‘Nigg’les Aroon The Loch

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Feb 182011

By Bob Smith.

Fit a stramash roon Loirston wye
Aboot the Dons new fitba hame
The local fowk are up in airms
Claimin some are nae playin the game

Noo richt awa I maun declare
An interest in aa iss spik
As I masel can be fun
At Pittodrie ilka second wikk

I hiv an interest as weel
In conservation o greenbelt lan
An fir mair than 5 decades
I’ve bin a wildlife fan

Noo aat’s said let’s hae a look
At the argiement for an agin
Tho’ ti build on protected lan
Iss ti me wid be a sin

Fir greenbelt lan it wid seem
Planners dinna hae muckle time
Nivver myn the flora an fauna
Jist cover it wi steen an lime

The Community Cooncil hiv great doots
Aboot the traffic an the parkin
Cloggin up aa the road arteries
Iss scheme they think is barkin

It’s nae surprise yon Stewartie Milne
Is richt ahin aa this caper
Wi lots o his business freens
An the “rag” o a local paper

I’ve hid a wird wi a fyow Dons fans
Faa ken the move is nigh
Maist are nae in favour
O a move oot Loirston wye

Bit losh I’m fair dumfoonert
Fit wye AFC canna upgrade
Aa the stands an ither bitties
Wi a new Main Stand ti be made

The new biggin it’ll glow aa reid
Fin the Dons play nicht matches
It micht be thocht a UFO
An be mentioned in RAF dispatches

The P&J – oh fit a surprise
Think aathing’ll be a bonus
They shud tell us aa the facts
An hae an impartial focus

Noo fowk aa ower the toon
At iss thocht will faa aboot
An impartial view fae the P&J
We’ll nivver hae I doot

Stewartie’s On A Shooglie Peg

Aberdeen City, Articles, Creative Writing, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Feb 042011

By Bob Smith.

Stewartie Milne could be a loser
Dis he ken fit he is deein?
Backin some kittlesome ideas
Lots o fowk are disagreein

He’s weel ti the forefront
Promotin twa SPL tiers o ten
Bit some o his cronies say
Awa back an think again

He’s a freen o yon Trump
So must back use o CPOs
Stewartie min tak great care
Ye micht get a bleedy nose

Wi ACSEF he’s in bed
Wi Sir Ian Widd he cavorts
His the mannie nae sense ava ?
He maun be oot o sorts

The new stadium at Loirston
Is a must the chiel dis spoot
Maist Dons fans are nae convinced
An lots they hiv great doot

So Stewartie jist tak note
Tho’ millions ye micht hae
The fowk faa div oppose ye
They micht yet win the day

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