Aug 312012
 

By Bob Smith.

I weel myn o the hairst time
Wi its golden quilts o corn
Faither sayin if the wither huds
We’ll get stairted cuttin the morn 

The chatter o the binder blades
As fowk warked till it wis dark
The exasperation on faither’s face
If the knotter it widna wark 

Wi shaifs o corn aneath each airm
Ye set up raws o stooks
If they werna deen jist richt
Ye got lots o funny looks 

Fin the stooks war ready
For them tae be teen in
Again ye warked till the dark
Ti stop afore wid hae been a sin

I myn o faither biggin’ rukks
Ye wid find hard tae match
He took great pride in seein them
Tapp’t aff wi a layer o thatch

I ken the combine it is faister
In the parks it fair flees aroon
Bit ye’ve lost aa the freen’ship
Gyaan aboot fin I wis a loon  

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image Credit © Elaine Andrews

Aug 242012
 

By Bob Smith.

Faa’s at bawlin an greetin
Oot ower a UTG balustrade?
It’s Sir Ian an aa his cohorts
Faa hiv aa iss wailin made 

The cooncillors are aa numpties
The Freens o UTG are as weel
Fer nae littin the ACSEF lot
Git awa wi iss dodgy deal

Aiberdeen’s nae a bonnie place
Says yon Dutchman Leo Koot
He’ll be up stakes an leavin
An “TAQA” wi him nae doot

Wee Stewartie wis fair fizzin
His phizog wid hae turn’t milk soor
Tam Smith he’ll be jinin in
In  fair kickin up a stoor

Mike Shepherd o Freens o UTG
Wull be weerin a smile richt big
An aa the fowk faa helpit him
Wull be deein an Aiberdeen Jig

Noo we’ll hae tae git crackin
Wi  a  better scheme fer UTG
An bring the gairdens up tae scratch
So’s  the green oasis we’ll still see

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Aug 102012
 

By Bob Smith.

The warld’s noo an affa place
Is the spik ye fyles div hear
The planet itsel’s nae tae blame
Jist some fowk fa’s on’t a fear 

Oor warld’s there tae be enjoyed
It’s faar aabody’s born and bred
It keeps us aa fed an wattered
In Aiberdeen or aroon the Med 

Heich snaw capped muntins
Faar ower valleys ye can look
In clear an crystal rivers
Brave fowk can hae a dook 

There’s buttercups an ither flooers
In leys aa ower oor  sphere
Wild animals an bonnie birdies
As weel as aa kines o deer 

Noo aathing’s nae hunky dory
Aat a div ken richt weel
We hiv a puckle greedy fowk
Fa tell lees or try tae steal

Politicians and bunker chiels
They fair div tap ma list
An bliddy big business diddy men
Fa only wint tae full their kist

Tak nae heed o sic buggers
There are fowk far mair genteel
Fa dee a lot o unsung gweed
An dinna parley wi the deil

Lit’s here it for iss warld o oors
An the gweed fowk on iss planet
Ignore the Trumps an their like
Listen tae yer auld Auntie Janet

© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image Credit: Beautiful Alps © Hwee Fuan Tey | Dreamstime.com

Jul 262012
 

By Bob Smith. 

I dinna myn a bittie rain
It fresh’ns aathing up
A haill month’s rain in a day
Fyles noo is bein dumped

Watter rins doon the streets
Drains canna tak the strain
Ony mair sic wachty shooers
Watter’s gurglin back oot again

Flooers are lookin drookit
Heids low wi the wecht
Wi aa the watter fae the sky
The bird bath sees nae fecht

Birdies look a bit bedraiglt
They’re hidin in the trees
Waitin for the sun tae shine
An feathers dry in the breeze

Fin the sun braks throwe again
An stame rises fae the grun
Kids’ll splash throwe the puddles
They’ll be haein lots o fun

Nae doot the morn wull be fine
Birds aa wull tweet and trill
Next wikk o coorse it’ll be pissin doon
O rain maist fowk hiv hid their fill

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
 Image Credit: SKY MOUNTAIN 1 © Alexandru Mitrea | Dreamstime.com

Jul 122012
 

Gubby Plenderleith, our Literary Editor, reports on a find which has rocked Scotland’s literary world.

The Scottish literary establishment is charged with anticipation over the announcement this week that a number of previously unknown poems by Scobie McSporran, ‘The Bard of Balmaha’ are to be published next month.
I spoke with Torquil Abercromby, a senior researcher at Freuchie University, who was approached last year by a woman claiming to be McSporran’s great-granddaughter.

He told me:

“She telephoned me completely out of the blue and said that she had a number of the poet’s unpublished works which the family had kept in storage since his death. She wondered whether the University would be interested in reading them.

“To be honest I was a bit sceptical at first.  Here was someone saying they had unpublished works by one of my favourite Scottish poets and asking me whether I’d like to read them. It was all pretty unreal at the time and I wondered if it was one of my students playing some kind of practical joke.”

Happily, Abercromby put aside his initial dubiety and met with the woman who had contacted him. She wishes to remain anonymous.  He was, he told me, bowled over by what she showed him. He was also fearful that unless he acted quickly, she might take these literary jewels elsewhere, and so he lost no time in contacting the University authorities who fortunately were able to make sufficient funding available for the publication of a slim volume.

The resultant book, although limited in size, also contains some notes on McSporran the man, tracing his journey from apprentice shoemaker to running the family business himself, before handing it on to his two sons in order that he could become a full time writer.

This new publication also details some of McSporran’s travels round Scotland, and documents the way in which he summoned up the spirit of the simple man, choosing to write about everyday subjects rather than the more grandiose themes chosen by some of his contemporaries.  His method of achieving this was to take to the road, living the life of a vagabond – a period of his life which, in his later years, McSporran looked back on with great fondness.

Speaking in 1928, a few months before his death, he told the writer Rudyard McGillicuddy that the day he gave up control of the family business for life as a vagrant was the happiest of his life.

As McGillicuddy recorded:

“Scobie was a free spirit who wished to be bound by no man, creed, or obligation.  As for the family business, he told me that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been shoemakers before him and as he himself remarked,’yon’s a lot o’ cobblers.’”

Abercromby is keenly protective of the publication of these works, which he sees as a landmark in the country’s literary landscape. He is extremely reticent to give away too many details of its contents.  Aberdeen Voice is, therefore, exceptionally privileged to have exclusive permission to print two poems which elegantly demonstrate McSporran’s fascination with the everyday topics of the weather, and unrequited love.

IT’S DINGIN’ DOON IN DINGWALL

It’s dingin’ doon in Dingwall
An’ it’s snawin’ up in Skye,
There’s hailstones o’er in Helensbru’
An’ a snell north wind forbye,

But we’re snuggled warm an’ toastie
In oor wee bit heilan’ hame,
So the warld can pass ootside oor door
An’ lea’ us a’ alane!

TO JEAN

Oh dearest Jean, my cushie-doo,
I crave your tender bosy
An’ a kiss frae aff your tender lips,
So warm an’ saft an’ rosy.

I saw you first in Januar,
When the snaw wis oan the dyke –
You were lying at the roadside,
Havin’ fa’en aff yer bike.

But I stopped and helped you oan again
An’ waved a fond goodbye,
As you pedalled aff tae Cowdenbeath,
Your messages to buy.

But that was ower a year ago
An’ I’ve no’ seen you syne,
So maybe it’s a portent,
That you never will be mine.

‘The Sabbath, Sin and Stovies’, a collection of poems by Scobie McSporran, is published by Wanchancy Press on 20th August.

 

Jul 122012
 

By Bob Smith.

Are ye an optimist or pessimist?
Foo dis yer brain aye think?
Hiv ye a maist positive naitur?
Or is negativity yer faavrit drink? 

Is yer warld noo a waefu place?
Is Armageddon jist ower the hill?
Or is there sunshine in yer life?
An iverry day it fits the bill? 

Div ye worry aboot the future?
Or tak ilka day as it cums?
Are dark cloods aye githerin?
His yer face a dose o “the glums”? 

Is yer gless aye haaf teem?
Or is yer gless haaf fu?
Hiv ye a happy ootlook?
Or are ye doon in the moo? 

Tak a wee bittie time fowks
Jist  ti see fit wye ye lean
Is laachter aye yer brither?
Or is gloomy foo yer seen? 

Turn yer face ti the sun
An shadows ahint ye faa
So says a Maori proverb
A thocht maist affa braw 

So brichten up yer daily life
Think naething is a chore
Pit pessimism in the bin
Lit positivity oot ye roar

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image Credit: © Steve Alvarez | Dreamstime.com

Jul 062012
 

By Bob Smith.

Bunkers noo are in the shit
Some fair div tak the mick
Is yer bunker a couthie chiel
Or jist anither greedy prick
.
Parliament nae langer kens fit’s fit
Tap bunkers noo rule the roost
Weel o coorse we aa div ken
Their bunk balances aa git a boost
.
Lots o siller as a bonus is gien
Ti cyards faa appruved the cheatin
Time ti kick them faar it hurts
Nivver myn their bliddy greetin
Time we hid mair local bunks
Faar ye tauk ti a human face
Nae aye hingin on the phone
Ti be telt yer in seventh place
.
Shut doon the stock exchange
Gie investors back their cash
Crooked traders in “the City”
Wid see their empires crash
.
Stop the swickin aa ower the lan
It’s time tae git aff oor hunkers
An tell the bobbies far ti pit
Thae bunch o bad, mad bunkers

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image Credit: HOLIDAY WITH MONEY© Andy Brown | Dreamstime.com

Jun 282012
 

By Bob Smith.


O Scotland ma Scotland
Iss lan o ma birth
Yer beauty astounds ma
Be it muntin or firth
.
Yer bonnie glens are quairt
Fair rushin are yer burns
Lazy are some rivers
Wi their twists an turns
.
Yer moods they can be varied
Fyles gey roch an weet
Afen saft an gintle
Like an ivver luvin geet
A mervel at yer wildlife
As fin the eagle soars
A watch the seals an wadin birds
As a dander alang yer shores
.
Yer winters  can be affa bleak
Grun happit wi ice an snaw
Bit in simmertime fooivver
There is a magic fit is braw
.
A luv life  here in Scotia
Noo lit there be nae doot
O her  beauty an her grandeur
A wull forivver spoot

 © Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image credit: HIGHLAND COW © Adrian Jones | Dreamstime.com

Jun 142012
 

By Bob Smith.

I bade doon a fairm road
It wis roonaboot twa mile lang
Twistin its wye throwe the widd
Back an fore ti skweel I’d gyang

Fower fairms war on iss road
An a bonnie wee cottage forbye
Richt at the eyn o iss roadie
Wis far oor fairm hame did lye

There wis rodden trees an spruces
An gean trees nae far fae hame
There wis larik trees an beech eens
An sycamore or wis’t a plane?

Throwe the widd an doon the howe
The road wis gey steenie an bumpy
The grocers’ vans hid ti tak their time
Iss made the drivers a bittie grumpy

In winter time the snaw dang doon
Fillin the road up ower the dykes
Fowk fin they cam  fae roon aboot
Fun they cwidna use their bikes

The roadie noo his chynged a bit
Some trees hiv been cut doon
Bit I still gyang in bye the road
Far I waakit fin Iwisa loon

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image Credit: COUNTRY ROAD © Iperl | Dreamstime.com

 

 

Jun 072012
 

By Bob Smith. 

Her Majesty she his bin
Sixty ’ears “on the throne”
She maan hae a sair belly
Littin oot an antrin groan

A gweed laxative ‘tis needed
Ti aise the puir wumman’s woes
Efter sixty ’ears “on the throne”
Ye’d hae ti maximise the dose

Noo am nae an anti royalist
Nor a supporter o the croon
Bit “on the throne” aa iss time
Maan git Her Majesty doon

Raise a gless o Syrup o Figs
As a toast ti Her Majesty
 Efter sixty ’ears “on the throne”
Fae win micht she bide free

A ken richt weel wi iss poem
Een or twa micht nae see reason
An ca upon the powers aat be
Ti hae me jiled fer treason

QueenVictoria micht hae said
We are nae amused
Clap the mannie in irons
Iss canna be excused

So ony mail addressed ti me
An ma trial cwid need fundin
Jist sen it ti “The Poetry Mannie”
C/O The Tower o London 

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image: Creative Commons © Terry Johnston
http://www.flickr.com/photos/powerbooktrance/