Poetry Archives - Page 7 of 25

Ode Ti A Gowf Ba’

Creative Writing, Satire and Humour, Sport 2 Responses »

Mar 282014

By Bob Smith.

Noo ye wee fite dimpl’t sphere
Let me mak es verra clear
Gyang doon the middle stracht an true
So’s an affa gweed score a can accrue
.
Nae oot the cup a wint ye spinnin
Sittin on the edge a-grinnin
Thinkin a’m nae gyaan ti drap
Eence mair yer score it wull be crap
.
Doon the fairways ye maan ging
So ma wee hairtie stairts ti sing
Lan’ oan the green near the pin
So anither birdie a can mark in
.
Be ye Titleist or Wilson Staff
Dinna behave like a soddin nyaff
Pick up yer skirts an hae a rin
If a happen ti hit ye ower bliddy thin

Dinna gyaang an try an hide
Jist on the fairways try ti bide
If ye ging duncin left or richt
A widna think aat verra bricht
.
A’m sorry a gid yer heid a dunt
So bide oot the bunkers ye little runt
In ma pooch ye can hae a rest
A’ll noo pit yer brither ti the test
.
Ye’ll nae bide fite fer verra lang
As roon efter roon a lit whang
Sometimes a doot ye micht git lost
Intae the whins ye can git toss’t
.
Puir ba a really lik’t ye fine
Please dinna lie there an pine
Some ither auld goat micht fin ye there
Eence mair some curses ye’ll hae ti bear

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The Sheep Are On Fire

Aberdeen City, Creative Writing No Responses »

Mar 202014

By Bob Smith.

Fae Inverness an Aiberdeen
Doon ti east o Glesga Green
Fitba fans in reid or blue
An fegs they war a motley crew
.
Scarves an flags aa ower the place
Some fowk they wore a sheepie’s face
Dons fans aa decked in new attire
Statin aat “The Sheep Are on Fire”
.
The atmosphere it wis rich braw
Celtic or Rangers nae missed ava
Fans aa oot ti enjoy the game
Yet only ae team wid fin fame
.
Baith teams strode on green sward
90 meenits awa fae their reward
Fa wid win ess ‘eer’s League Cup
An fae its innards git ti sup?
.
The fans war still at fever pitch
Fin Dons they suffered a major glitch
Wee Jonny Hayes lost ti the fray
Nae mair wid Jonny git ti play
.
Only ae team wis tryin ti win
Some fitba tactics they are a sin
Caley Thistle they defendit weel
Frustration Dons fans began ti feel

A huuner and twenty meenits we did get
Yet naebody cwid fin the bliddy net
A penalty shoot oot wi did hae
Nae goals war scored fae open play
.
Up steppit CT’s Billy McKay,
The chiel he wid hae first try
Bit “Clangers” wis an instant hero
An Inverness stairtit wi a zero
.
The Dons wint inti a twa goal lead
As Inverness hairts they did bleed
Adam Rooney hut the winnin strike
Celebrations? Ye’ve nivver seen the like
.
Forty thoosan fans lit oot a roar
Fit wid hae bin heard in Baltimore
The cup wis oors – oh michty me
Fae doots an fears we noo war free
.
Russell Anderson wi een o his hans
Held up the cup tae delirious fans
Growne mannies an wifie’s hid a greet
An geets war liftit aff their feet
.
The sheep are on fire, the sheep are on fire
A Scottish Cup win wis noo the desire
Ti win at Parkheid an syne at Ibrox
Wid hae Weegies teerin oot their locks.

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014.

Doonbeg Coonty Clare

Creative Writing, Satire and Humour 3 Responses »

Feb 212014

By Bob Smith. Ti bi sung ti the melody o “Galway Bay”. Wi Apologies ti Arthur Colahan

If ye ivver nip ower the sea ti Ireland
An meybe doon the wye o Coonty Clare
Ye micht see a mannie on his gowf course
Bawlin bigg a bliddy winfairm if ye dare

As ye sit aroon the peat fire in the gloamin
Watchin Doonbeg gowfers as they play
Thinkin Trumpie micht be here in Eire
Bit foo lang’s the bugger gyaan ti stay

His auld mither she did come fae Scotia
Far his faither cam fae we really dinna ken
A’m sure The Donald wull noo try ti tell us
He wis born in a wee bit Irish but ‘n ben

If the waves crash ower the dunes in Ireland
An flood the greens nearest ti the shore
Ye can bet yer bliddy bottom dollar
Fae Doonbeg ye’re sure ti hear an affa roar

It’s gyaan ti be the greatest there is in Eire
Wi the best in the warld it wull compare
We’ll nae doot hear es spiel fae Donald
Aboot his gowf course ower at Doonbeg Coonty Clare

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014

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Donald O’ The Petted Lip

Creative Writing, Opinion 2 Responses »

Feb 142014

By Bob Smith.

Trump’s nae deein the Hielan Fling
He’s noo tryin River Dance
Intae his Menie Developmint
Anither dollar he’ll nae advance
.
He’s gyaan ti the Emerald Isle
Doon the wye o Coonty Clare
A feel sorry fer the Irish fowk
His arrogance they’ll hae ti bear
.
His mither bein’ Scottish born
The chiel wis aywis blawin
Wull we noo hear fae him
His faither wis a leprechaun
.
Scotland wull be the losers
The bugger dis rant an roar
Donald jist gie’t a rest
Yer mair than jist a bore

Bi throwin the toys oot the pram
He’s shown his petulant streak
Aa because he lost his case
In front o a Scottish “beak”
.
At Menie wull he pack it in
An leave here wi gweed grace?
Somehoo a dinna think so
Cos the mannie wid lose face
.
Donald o the Menie Estate
Fa’s stock his teen a dip
Noo he micht be kent as
Donald o the petted lip.
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014

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Dinna Dare Growe Aul’

Creative Writing, Opinion No Responses »

Jan 312014

By Bob Smith.

Es growein aul’ tis a pain
Some fowk treat ye wi disdain
If yer noo ower seeventy five
Ye’ve less chunce o steyin alive
.
Ye micht nae be treated fer Big C
Ach ye’ll noo jist hae tae dee
Ye’re a burden tae the NHS
Yer chunces o treatment cwid be less
.
It’s noo a warld fer the young an fit
If yer aul’ yer in the shit
Society wints ye oot the wye
So curl up an bliddy die
.
Leukit upon as bein senile
Nae langer pairt o rank an file
Costs ower muckle fer yer care
Time ye wis plunkit in yer lair

Time fer aul’ buggers tae fecht back
An show the warld we dinna lack
The will tae live an contribute
We hiv mair sinse than some nae doot
.
Maist aulder eens they aye vote
So governmints please tak note
Ignore us an ye’ll fin oot noo
We hiv the power tae turn the screw
.
Seeventy five aat’s noo nae auld
Even tho some fowk are turnin bald
Wi hiv earned the richt tae expect
Society tae treat us wi mair respect.
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014

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Online Shoppin

Creative Writing, Opinion 1 Response »

Jan 242014

By Bob Smith.

Mair fowk it seems are buyin online
Toon cinters noo are in decline
A click on tae ony online store
Aathing seen cams tae yer door
.
Fowk they claim es saves them time
Aboot local shops care nae a dime
As lang as fin they click the moose
The “stuff’s” deliver’t tae their hoose
.
Empty shoppies they’re aa aroon
Some are even bein rugg’t doon
Ither eens struggle tae survive
As yearly profits they tak a dive
.
Money nae langer spint in the toon
Causin city faithers tae hae a froon
Weel kent shoppies they gyaang bust
As fowk embrace es online lust
.
Amazon noo is fair takin ower
Bigger they git the mair the power
Add tae basket ye jist click
As throwe their website ye div flick

They say progess ye canna stop
An es is noo the wye tae shop
High Street shop’s wull be nae mair
As modern shoppers cwidna care
.
As lang’s they git fit they wint
An online orders are nae tint
They’ll click the moose fer ivver mair
On laptop screens they sit an stare
.
Toon cinters seen fu’ o ghosts
Shops an shoppers are aa lost
Online shoppin kills the trade
O local fowk fa war self made
.
So cast yer myn back a fyle
Fin city cinter shops hid style
On streets there wis a bustle
Syne online stores,trade did rustle
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014

Image credit © Alex Kirichenko | Dreamstime Stock Photos
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Flood Weet An Fears

Creative Writing, Environment No Responses »

Jan 162014

By Bob Smith.

Floods they are noo frequent
Efter lots o hivvy rains
Mony say ae problem is
Biggin on flood plains
.
Hooses biggit near rivers
Es canna be jist richt
Mony hooses on flood plains
Is nae an idea maist bricht
.
Watter fa’in fae the sky
It needs tae soak awa
Concrete aa ower the lan
Es is nae eese ava

Mair biggins needit is the cry
Tae hoose oor growein masses
Maybe we jist need less fowk
An keep oor meadows an oor grasses
.
The answer’s nae an easy een
A solution it maan be fun
If climate change means mair rain
Fair sweemin wull be the grun.
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014

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Ode Ti Ma Feathered Freens

Creative Writing, Environment No Responses »

Jan 102014

By Bob Smith.

Hullo ti ma feathered freens
As they sit oot in the caul
Aa jist waitin ti be fed
By a fite haired human pal
.
Efter fillin up aa their feeders
An scatterin seed alang the grun
A gyang back ti ma hoose
Ti watch aa naiture’s fun
.
The sparras an the blackies
They swoop doon fairly quick
Syne folla’t by the chaffinches
As throwe the seeds they peck
‘
Starlin’s are at the bird table
Squabblin wi aa their micht
The robin sits on a claes pole
Scauldin aabody in his sicht

The robin tho’ he’s fair itchin’
Ti jine the thrang alow
He flees doon an flutters aboot
His importance he likes ti show
.
The bird bath’s frozen solid
So a sma dishie his ti dee
Five dunnocks try ti hae a bath
Fin there’s room fer only three
.
The craws they sit an ponder
Foo ti get at aa the seed
They try an hing on ti a feeder
Bit they jist spill aa the feed
.
A fair get a lot o enjoyment
As the birds they gyang aboot
In es caul windy wither
They need feedin there’s nae doot

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”
Photos – Bob The Robin by Elaine Andrews
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Gie Peace On Earth A Try

Creative Writing, Environment No Responses »

Jan 022014

By Bob Smith.

Wull wi ivver hae peace on earth
Difference o opeenion causes fechts
Can wi see common sinse prevail
An sort oot wrangs fae richts
.
Nae muckle chunce a sadly feel
Greed an religion pull the strings
The puir struggle tae survive
Heicher prices hiv their fling
.
The warld an his mither are oot there
Buyin up aa they bliddy can
Cos they hiv the cloot tae buy
Goods fae China or Japan
.
Wull wi survive the yammer
Fer mair an mair tae hae
Or hive wi the collective will
Tae lave some fer anither day
.
The economy maan hae priority
Governmints an bunkers aye state
Tryin tae bowster warld economies
His fair hertin’t the greedy trait

Wi hiv the lan wi hiv the sea
Tae produce aneuch fer us aa
Bit big business ca’s the tune
Buy mair an mair they jaw
.
A’ve nae problem wi religion
If yer aye free tae choose
Tae abide bi its doctrines
Or its ideologies tae refuse
.
Spirituality is far mair pleasin
Yer inner sel’ shud hae nae doot
Free yer spirit tae embrace
Fit the planet is aa aboot
.
Fin warld’s resources are near deen
An the planet his nae mair tae gie
Fowk wull roam throweoot the lan
Fechtin ower food an the richt tae be
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2013
Image: Planet Earth ©Foto_jem Dreamstime

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Fin The Win Blaws

Creative Writing, Opinion 2 Responses »

Dec 232013

By Bob Smith.

Am lookin oot the winda
The win it fair dis blaw
Am gled it’s jist rainin
It’s cauld aneuch fer snaw

Win throwe trees is souchin
They’re duncin tae its tune
It widna be aat surprisin
If a fyow war blawn doon

I widna like for fowk ti be
On Ben Macdui’s tap richt noo
They cwid easily be blawn awa
An feenish up in the Lairig Ghru

Bit we shudna stairt complainin
Aboot the vagaries o oor wither
A widna chynge it fer onything
Hurricanes or tornadoes dinna bither

So blaw awa ye blusterie wins
As throwe the leaves ye fussle
Ower yer strength we’ve nae control
Showin us humans ye’ve mair muscle

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie”
Image Credit: Ian Britton. Freefoto.com
http://www.freefoto.com/preview/16-14-55/Fallen-Tree

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