Duncan Harley has a review copy of “Scotland’s Future” – the book the Scottish Government don’t want you to read because it’s so awfully longwinded.
The Scottish Government has quite recently published a glossy 649 page guide to Scotland’s Future as a pdf and you can of course order a free hard copy.
If all 7.132 billion of the world wide population ordered a copy of “Scotland’s Future” even the Darien Disaster would appear insignificant in terms of the resultant Scottish national debt and the more recent history of Scotland.
If all 5.295 million of us Scots ordered a copy the English would no doubt be made to pay.
Billed as the answer to all questions regarding the independence debate it’s a riveting read indeed.
This correspondent can however reveal that to date however, few have actually read the longwinded tome.
Mrs Catto of Aberdeen commented:
“I don’t understand why they even published it. It’s too heavy.”
Mr Green from Methlick commented that:
“I can’t even lift the book, never mind understand it.”
Mr Brown from Hamilton said:
“I never asked for this, what is Salmond playing at? As a registered blind person there is no way I will read this.”
Most Scots however should, at the very least, order a few copies so as to tell their grandchildren that they looked hard at the issues and completely understood the way ahead prior to independence.
The White Paper on Scotland’s Future promised much more than either the document or the launch managed to deliver. Scotland’s current First Minister Alex Salmond and his sidekick Nicola Sturgeon MSP launched the white paper with a promise that “every child from age one to starting school is guaranteed 30 hours of provision for 38 weeks of the year.”
Bang on really in terms of independence speak. Bang on really in terms of impressing the world’s press.
A wet squid? A damp banger? Or just a wasted opportunity perhaps. History will no doubt reveal the truth.
Defence of the realm, the Scottish economy, Scottish EEC membership and the issues of tax, social welfare, diplomacy and healthcare are indeed however covered in some detail throughout the length and depth of the book.
On page 236 the slightly embarrassing publication details plans for the defence of Scotland in the event of invasion by a foreign power.
It seems that Scotland will be part of “collective defence arrangements involving the reconfiguring of the defence estate inherited at the point of independence to meet Scotland’s need and the progressive build up of Scotland’s army to a total of fifteen thousand regular troops over the ten years following independence.”
As if the reassurance offered was insufficient, the White Paper goes on to say that units of the Scottish Army will seemingly carry on the names, identities and traditions of Scotland’s regiments, including those “lost in the defence reorganisation of 2006.”
On Macroeconomic Policy we are advised that countries of a similar size to Scotland have enjoyed very low levels of borrowing costs via careful management of public finances. Scotland will seemingly “establish a debt management function.”
Regarding firearms, the white paper advises that the Scottish Government will introduce full powers to introduce airgun legislation. Regarding drug use, the Scottish Government will introduce a drug strategy. Regarding Road Traffic Law, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding gambling, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding broadcasting, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding Channel 4, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the National Lottery, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding culture and heritage, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding international phone charges, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding Royal Mail, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the price of stamps, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding mobile phone charges, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the question of a separate passport for Scottish Nationals, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding citizenship, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding crime and the dialling of 999 for assistance, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding the police, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding justice, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding oil and gas emissions, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding carbon capture and storage, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding farming and food production, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation. Regarding health and safety, the Scottish Government will introduce legislation.
The tome drones on and on about people down the decades wondering about how “a country blessed with such wealth, talent and resources could and should have done more to realise the potential we know exists for everyone.”
“constructive working together will continue after independence” says Alex Salmond in the introductory message.
In truth many of us Scots will have little idea what he means.
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