Sep 182015

Old Susannah’s feeling sheepish about recent events, and has decided not to duck the important questions surrounding recent articles about Northfield Animal Haven.  Rather than going on the lamb or spreading any bull, here are some timely definitions should anyone think she’s chicken. By Suzanne Kelly.

DictionaryIf you’ve been reading the Voice, you may be aware of articles and comments concerning Northfield Animal Haven. Were all of its fundraising appeals transparent and accurate? Did all of the animals it purported to rescue actually exist? Not so much. Now that the dossier of Northfield’s activities has been turned over to the police, it’s time for me to turn myself in.  If Northfield were to be believed – and wny wouldn’t you? – then I have done wrong.

Here are a few related definitions to help unravel the Northfield saga.

Alias: (English noun) A false name, often used with the intent to conceal identity and/or to deceive.

Did you know that Old Susannah is actually an alias, and my name is Suzanne Kelly? Well, it’s worse than that.

“She calls herself SueKelly10 on Twitter”, tweeted Fiona Manclark.

Before you judge me too harshly for this subterfuge, please allow me to explain. ‘Sue’ is a name I’m using to try and throw people from thinking I’m Suzanne. I really am amazed that Fiona figured this out. Alas! I cannot ask her how she sleuthed this one through, she and Northfield have me blocked on Twitter and Facebook.

However, should you wish to ask for her opinions about how Suzanne Kelly has the gall to call herself ‘SueKelly10’, tweet to her at ‘Mummyalfi’. Hope this helps.

As an aside, when I first started writing for Aberdeen Voice (some 400+ pieces ago), I was going to only be known as ‘Old Susannah’ and stay anonymous. I thought that might help give me more distance from people who might not like being investigated.

Alas! While I had said to AV editors that my pen name was going to be ‘Old Susannah’, the first column came out with the heading ‘Old Susannah’s Dictionary Corner – by Suzanne Kelly’. With the cat out of the bag, the decision was pretty much made for me that I’d continue investigating and not care whether people knew my name. After all, what was the worst that could happen?…

Death Threats: (English compound plural noun) To threaten to kill someone or a group of people

In various social media locations, Northfield’s Kelly Cable and her father Eric have stated that Kelly’s had death threats. I suppose this could be from The Vegan Conspiracy (see below), militants, etc. But death threats are very serious. Cable claims these have been reported to the police. There isn’t anything funny about death threats – but it is funny that anyone should issue death threats to someone over the veracity of their interesting farming and fundraising frolics.  Or benefit fraud.

The family must be very upset by this. Death Threats are no joking matter. They are so upset at these death threats that dad Eric wrote on a Facebook Page about me and my articles that he should get an AK-47. But that’s OK, as he also wrote in brackets ‘tongue in cheek’.  He probably only meant he’d like to take me out shooting.

Threats are a tricky thing.  Old Susannah / SueKelly10/ I must work harder to understand when a death threat is a joke or when it’s sinister.

Clearly the threats to Kelly are very real.  In fact, I am quite convinced the death threats are as genuine as the rescue appeal for the six Shetland ponies she recently removed from Go Fund Me. For some reason, some people found the appeal a tad misleading.  It was illustrated with a photo of a cute pony  – rescued years ago in Wales.  The owner of the six ponies has never come forward, we’ve no idea where they are or what they look like.  But because Cable says so, we know that only she was going to be allowed to save them.  Otherwise they would be turned into meat. Kind of like the lambs on the other side of the Cable business, but I digress.

By the way, it’s important to remember that everything that happens because of my exposing Kelly Cable’s methods of operation is my fault and not hers.  I should have just let her continue to rescue animals (though I suspect some are probably more suited to rehoming in a Farmville game than on a real farm). I could have let her take donations, such as the £150 she got from a pensioner.  This generous person wrote in a comment that they couldn’t really afford their donation, but they didn’t want the animals to suffer.   What nefarious knaves would be making death threats? I have a theory…

The Vegan Conspiracy: (extremely modern English compound noun) Shadowy organisation that is trying to get people to stop eating animals

I am supposed to confess that my interest in Northfield’s inventive fundraising is due to my being part of The Vegan Conspiracy. This is mentioned here or there on Facebook by Northfield supporters.  I have a vegan agenda and I have cohorts.  As secret as our cabal is, I’m sure the boys won’t mind me telling you a bit more about our little initiative, The Vegan Conspiracy.

Every full moon, a bunch of hemp-clothing clad, tofu-eating, unshaven, unwashed pagans gather at Torry Battery to advance our inevitable world domination.

The nefarious agenda is to get people to realise that fluffy chicks, fleecy lambs, adorable calves should be petted, loved, given space and not shredded alive and un-anaesthetised on birth for being male (chicks), locked in pens so they can’t move (most other critters), or kept pregnant only to have calves snatched away and be re-impregnated again and again until worn out so we can have milk on our cornflakes.

After we paint ourselves in dayglow paint and dance to Morrissey, we strategise how to get people to be more compassionate and switch from meat and dairy to alternatives.

Alas! as I’m only a vegetarian, I don’t get more than associate membership. But I’m working on it, and one day will be a fully fledged Vegan.  Possibly.

Karma:  (Sanskrit noun) Fate

Happily Northfield’s owners have many friends around them in this difficult time.  Many of these are wishing that karma will get me / comment that ‘ karma’s a bitch’ and so on.  Needless to say, I am quaking in my boots at the idea. How will I be punished for what I’ve done?

It would be foolish of course to suggest that perhaps karma has paid a visit to New Pitsligo, and has started giving what is owed.

Alcoholism: (Modern English noun) A disease; those suffering from it are best ridiculed, outed and mocked

Fiona Manclark has let the world know I’m an alcoholic – so she says – and she and her witnesses have the proof.  These people claim I am often seen ‘falling out’ of  BrewDog.

I’ve a few friends who have this disease; and mocking the afflicted is always a great reminder to them of their weakness.

Some illnesses are quite serious.  Fiona, who has delighted in tweeting and posting about my alleged alcoholism, has now resigned from involvement with Northfield on ill health grounds.  I wish her a speedy recovery.

Also ill, but with nothing funny at all, is Kelly.  She’s let us know her  brain tumour is giving her problems again.  My sympathies.

As with death threats, Old Susannah is not sure which illnesses are to be mocked and which are to be sympathised with.  But I’m working on it.  Clearly alcoholism falls into the mocking category for Ms Manclark.

My lawyer and the entire staff of BrewDog don’t believe I’m an ‘alkie’ and that I should do something about these claims of Fiona’s but that’s a matter for another day.  I’m sure her repeated posts, comments and tweets about my being an alcoholic (and liar  AND keyboard warrior to my shame) were just meant to help me recover from a debilitating disease.  Otherwise, her behaviour might be misconstrued as a brutish, libelous,  ill-thought through attempt at intimidation.

Intimidation: (English noun) The attempt to subdue, silence, cow another person

Eric Cable, likewise, doesn’t want to intimidate me. When he posts on Facebook remarks to the effect he’s found interesting things on the internet, I tremble.  He probably just means he’s found cute looking pony photos to save for future reference or something. I know it’s not about me, but my heart still skips a beat nonetheless.  What if he found something out about me?

Could it be that time I jumped in the Trevi fountain fully clothed? There’s the time I streaked through the Queen of the South v Hearts game last February.  What if he found out that I was Cancer with Leo rising? Does he have the video from that incident with the ACSEF members, the double-sided tape, and AFC’s changing rooms?

We will soon find out. But until then, and probably even after then, I’ll keep doing what I do.

Tally ho!

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[Aberdeen Voice accepts and welcomes contributions from all sides/angles pertaining to any issue. Views and opinions expressed in any article are entirely those of the writer/contributor, and inclusion in our publication does not constitute support or endorsement of these by Aberdeen Voice as an organisation or any of its team members.]

  8 Responses to “Confessions of Old Susannah (A Northfield Special)”

  1. Glad to see you are not Tweeting from your
    police cell as opposed to your politically active undercover ‘veggie cell’ devoted to the trolling of good honest people who wouldn’t ‘flee the fair’

  2. Vegans and veggies, they are all the same. A bit like a working farm and an animal rescue centre. As my uncle Charlie used to say “Neeps – foo’s yer heed!”. I also do a great cake that contains a hacksaw, if ever needed. 🙂

    • Thank you Dorothy – may need that cake yet; but do you have any bulletproof vests?

  3. Pretty much sums up the argument on both sides and as a bonus, funny. Respect, Suzan

  4. What a load of utter bollocks in my opinion from the northfield animal haven aka kelly marie cable. All these pleas for donations for money for keeping the animals alive and the ponies that will only go to you (supposedly)- that is if they do actually exist. The duplication of other people’s photos of there animals that have nowt to do with Northfield that would be fraud by false representation. As for Cable’s claim (made elsewhere) stating they don’t have a computer for doing the accounts or a scanner for copying them bull. Kelly’s brother had a large computer shop that built and sold computers in Turriff so I doubt he would not see her without a pc and printer scanner that would be able to do everything to run the place [Note: Northfield certainly seem to have access to computers for creating all their fundraising appeal and using social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter]. Kelly is capable of doing the accounts and knowing how to email them. What is interesting is how would she keep charity donations of feed straw and hay apart from her personal purchases of same items and how much of the haven raises goes towards paying the Mortgage and the household bills. How much does Kelly actually earn and does it cover the running bills of the farm? From what I have read and followed it seems like a lot of deception has gone on and if nothing to hide why has she closed down and removed her fundraising appeals? oh and Suzanne I don’t believe for one minute what’s said about you – they are trying to cloud the waters so people can’t see clearly what is going on with you’re articles of factual accurate and we’ll researched reports thank you

  5. Do you have proof this fundraising money wasn’t used to help animals??

    BTW I hope you know suing someone for being libellous would cost you at least £3000 to even get to the initial hearing stage, and that you’d lose the case imo, calling someone an alcoholic isn’t libellous, it’s that persons opinion of you, rightly or wrongly people are allowed to state opinions on other people.

    If this is a scam great work, I’ve not followed the story so would like to see some evidence of any wrongdoing?

    • ‘Great’ work is high and unexpected praise from Bill Stephens.

      The police are looking into how the money was spent; that’s their area. There were also goods donated via Amazon to do with animal care feeding, etc. I wonder whether these were only used for rescue animals and not for the commercial meat side of the business.

      The deceptions had to do with using images (without permission) of animals who needed no rescue without explaining the (misappropriated) images were for illustration only. Did the six Shetland ponies actually exist? We were told the ponies were destined for the meat trade unless we coughed up £5,000. Two charities said they would rescue the animals without needing to raise £5,000. Then Northfield said the animals’ owners would only let Northfield save them. How logical does it seem to you that this mysterious owner didn’t contact major rescues, only Cable, and would rather have the ponies turned into meat rather than rescued by others? The explanation for this was along the lines that the owner (who has never come forward) decided that there was some sort of unfair vendetta or something against Cable. How an owner so far away (must not be local considering the sums wanted for transport and vets) knew anything about any vendetta is a good question, as is how they’d rather have the animals to be rescued killed if it meant not giving to CAble.

      The Go Fund Me page was misleading in that it made a representation that Northfield was dependent only on the public to keep going. Not true: they didn’t let people know that they also sell animals at market. This alone was upsetting for some donors who would never have contributed to a rescue acting like this.

      Is the past behaviour of the shelter’s operators relevant? I think so – there is a pattern of proven benefit fraud, several cases of borrowing thousands of pounds without repayment, in at least one case Kelly Cable tried to claim her signature on a loan document was a forgery. A forensic handwriting expert proved her claim was untrue.

      As to my intent to take legal action against Fiona Manclark, she’s repeated the claim that I am an alcoholic and a liar over several different social media platforms. If she said ‘I beleive Suzanne is a liar and an alcoholic’ that would be one thing. She says that it is true, she won’t back down or apologise, and that I am an alcoholic and a liar. As I want people to keep coming to me with stories to research, and as I’d rather like my current and future employers to think well of me, action will be taken. I did give her every chance to retract / apologise, so she’s brought this on herself.

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