Jan 162015
 
  • Aberdeen Voice wishes to alert readers that the following article contains strong language. It is the considered opinion of the editorial team that the writer’s experiential account and the style in which his views and thoughts are expressed are best served by presenting his contribution as intact and true to the original text as possible.

By Greg Chaos.

Greg (3)When I first visited Uganda in January 2011 it was to do charity work. I was to be looking after children in an orphanage and teaching English and Mathematics at a primary school.
I’d recently split from a long term partner. My job prospects seemed to be disappearing down the toilet quicker than my latest bowel movement; causing perpetual skintness.

I was constantly inebriated because it was only thing I actually enjoyed doing… I needed an escape and I needed to do something with my life. At the time; this was the answer.

I knew about Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill before I left. To me it came across as typical right-wing, nonsense legislation, passed by some idiot in power; which eventually would be quashed. I’d thrown myself into learning everything I could about the country in the 7 weeks between me deciding I was going and getting on the plane.

Despite the Bill, I’d decided to go anyway. Half way through my stay a friend sent me a video which had just aired in the UK, on BBC3. In Uganda my connection was poor and it would have taken me several days to download so I decided against it and watched it when I got home. I was shocked that the nation I’d just been to (and couldn’t wait to go back to) was the source of this homophobic hate. Naturally I thought; “well, they’ve clearly picked the biggest nutters they can find to put into this”.

I’m talking, of course, about BBC3’s ‘World’s Worst Place to be Gay?’ presented by Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills; a gay man himself.

Throughout the next 12 months I would strategically plan to set up my own charity which was to help orphanages and community based projects in Uganda. I had fallen in love with the country. I was going back. I watched ‘The Last King of Scotland’ countless times so I could feel as close as possible to the place again.

But I was going to address the homophobia and I would not be caught dead supporting any cause that was homophobic in any way.

I dedicated all my time to finding out about LGBT in Uganda. All I could find were the troubles. There was nothing online based around meeting anyone and helping any causes. When the penalty is potentially death, it’s understandable that most people don’t have the rainbow flying high.

In January 2012 I returned and immediately noticed a spectacular difference in the place. Perhaps it was because my eyes had been opened and I was seeing past the bullshit, who knows.

One of my first experiences of homophobia was the hostel I was staying at. I had become acquainted with one of the women who worked there. We’d hooked up and I asked her if she fancied going to dinner the next night. Despite her trying to take me to the most expensive restaurant in Kampala, (a fact I found out later on that night), we went to an Irish Bar called Bubbles for some pub grub and a piss up.

GregEquator featIt was my first real chance, so I asked what she thought about the anti-homosexuality bill. She did everything she could not to answer the question. By the sounds of things the staff at the hostel had heard the foreigners complaining enough about the bill to not mention it… or at least to avoid confrontation about it.

She wouldn’t give me an answer. All I got out of her was ‘Jesus this and Jesus that’. The usual sentiments you’d expect from someone who lacks the ability to think for themselves. So I told her straight; “I’m Bisexual, does that bother you?”

After explaining what bisexual meant, she responded with the strangest question I’ve ever been asked about my sexuality.

To this day it still stops me in my tracks when I think about it. She grabbed my hand and said “Well why don’t you change? You can change.”

It took me a few seconds to register. The mixed feelings of outrage, complete shock and then the all-important guilt; which was quickly shaken off and replaced by sheer pride. I asked why I should change and witnessed the bigotry flow like blood from a stab wound. After half an hour of the usual God Nonsense and her ignoring my Atheism, I gave up and told her we should part.

I went to the bar to sink some quick vodkas and smoke a few fags, still trying to shake off the residual shock and rage.

Apparently insulting me wasn’t enough and she came in to find me. Apparently “this date is over, I suggest you go home or do whatever, but leave me alone, I don’t want to see you” wasn’t clear enough. She asked me for money for her taxi home and I’ll let you guess what my final words of the evening were.

After a few days I travelled to the city of Masaka; about 80 miles South West of Kampala.

I had been based here the previous year and was quite familiar with the surroundings. It’s a smaller city with a population of around 75,000, A lot calmer than the some 2 million of Kampala. I met with a friend who had offered me accommodation for a few weeks whilst I set up my charity. His community based projects included libraries and a small local bank for loans to help build local infrastructure. He had even come up with units to harness the natural gases from farmyard dung to be used for cooking stoves.

This man is (and to this today remains), in my mind; a Saint. He rose early every day to teach classes and stayed late every night to run his projects. His pay is meagre and he lives a simple life. The only remaining child of ELEVEN brothers and sisters, his determination is unparalleled. So it greatly pleased me to find out he had absolutely no quarrels with sexual orientation. (In fact he was curious and asked questions on the matter. I actually suspect he may be queer himself). He would come to be the only shoulder close by at one point.

Over the next few weeks my social interactions with the people around me diminished. I would always try and approach the question of the bill and refused to shy away from it as I felt I had done the year previously. Something I felt ashamed about. As the weeks continued I could see I was being taken less seriously because of what I had confessed.

Ugandans do this thing where they laugh and smile profusely when they’re having a serious conversation with someone and believe themselves to be right, even when they’re not.

Greg (5)Whilst doing this the other person in the conversation is usually visually distressed or down hearted. It is, to say the least, infuriating.

I feel that I was probably seeing the better side of it all. These conversations were with men and women who both worked for this man’s charity, so they have probably heard this all before from the foreigners who’ve come across to work for the charity and spoke against the bill in conversation.

I would later turn out to be correct.

After a few weeks I finally relocated to the programme I had worked with the previous year in a village just outside of Masaka. In a room full of cockroaches and with rats running on the rafters above you while you try to sleep; it’s not the nicest in the world, but it’s a bed for the night or 3 weeks… as it turned out.

The owner of this particular orphanage is (as has now been proven) a money grabbing useless bastard. He is out of the closet in every country around the world it would seem, except Uganda; which is why I haven’t mentioned the dickhead’s name. He arrived a few days after I did, returning from America where he had been touring for almost a year.

This former Pastor had been giving sermons at churches and Universities around the States for literally thousands of dollars per session. Sometimes up to five or six times a week, for 11 months. In case you’re not aware, the exchange rate in Uganda is incredibly low. You could live for a year pretty comfortably on a budget of £3-4,000. Easy. That’s nights out, 3 meals a day and rent if you find the right place and strike up a deal.

The children he ‘looks after’ drink dirty water, wear rags and sometimes don’t go to school because he doesn’t pay the bills (despite owning a fucking school as well). They sleep on piss stained mattresses despite the fact I had replaced these a year before. Turns out they were carted off to his school as he could make more money having a boarding section.

In the end I confronted him about all of this and we parted ways. Before doing so I did get the chance to chat with him about the LGBT Rights in Uganda.

Even after divulging my own orientation he wasn’t keen to let anything go, despite his sexuality and the fact that his sermons condoning same sex relationships are plastered all over the internet. He should be commended slightly for his work within LGBT, although he is not known for it in his home country (and would probably be shunned if he was).

The man commands a lot of respect within the community around him because of his work; the orphanage and the school. However these are a complete joke compared to the luxury houses he owns, the cars he drives and the meals he eats. He’s the classic example of the rich not wanting to sacrifice an inch so that those under him can have a better life.

Greg (2)Whilst in the local bar one evening, drinking away my blues with my pal George (the local raging alcoholic with a gammy arm who delivers dirty water for a living, who just happens to not be a homophobe as well) I was confronted by a local man who I already knew had a distaste for mzungus (white people).

He had overheard me talking to George, I assume on the issue of the bill, and had begun to shout at me. But this time it was different. There was no mention of the bible in this man’s rant.

This time it was pure hatred. We tossed words back and forth before the bar owner threw the man out for being too drunk. Roberta (the lady whose house was actually the bar) spoke little English but recognized that the man was on one of his Anti-Mzungu tirades and chucked him out.

His friends weren’t impressed with me either, however on that particular night the choice between drinking and homophobic hate was in the end determined by their thirst and they sat quietly and glared at me. Having had a few drinks (I wasn’t hammered; just tipsy), I was prescribing to the “fuck ‘em” philosophy. It wasn’t until I sobered up that I realized that the quarter mile long walk home in the pitch black would have made me easy pickings.

You have to remember we were only a year removed from the murder of David Kato (the gay rights campaigner and Uganda’s first openly gay man) who was beaten to death with a hammer in his bed. At the very least I would have got my head kicked in and, to be honest; looking back on the situation, the only thing that probably stopped that from happening was that I wasn’t a local.

Had I been, I think it would have only been a matter of time before I was attacked. This all might sound overly dramatic, but I saw the look in those men’s eyes, I don’t think they even knew I was queer, but they did hear my support against the bill and that was enough to get them angry.

After parting ways with the village I had a week to kill before I returned home. I visited a few different projects and did some good work in the time I had left, but by this point my spirit was well and truly broken. It was becoming clear that throwing money into these causes wasn’t going to be the answer because the same problems would arise and the cycle of poverty would simply continue instead of changing for the better.

I was drinking with a guy I’d met the previous year, he knew and had no issues, however this could be linked to me paying for most of his drinks. At £1 a bottle I didn’t really care.

He was a street worker. Basically he’d wait outside the shopping centres and people would come to him looking for a particular fabric or dress or whatever. Instead of them looking for themselves, he’d go and buy items from several different shops. Sometimes travelling as far as Kampala for them. A strange profession but one that fed him.

Greg (6)I met him on the street with two other lads; his friends/co-workers or whatever; and one had said something along the lines of “here’s your boyfriend” in a sarcastic tone.

These two lads must have been about 19 or 20. I shot them a glare to let them know I’d heard them and that the next words from his mouth would hurt.

They shot a glare right back before my friend took me away and it settled on its own. It seemed that throughout all age groups there was hatred.

Before retiring on my last night I spoke just generally about my time in Uganda with the owners of the Hotel I was staying in in Kampala. A German couple, of Indian origins. They’d lived there for a good few years. Every now and again, when you’d walk past their room, the door would be ajar and you’d see their clothes hung up all over the room and one of them lying in bed. They were at that age where they didn’t seem to give a shit anymore.

They’d been together for some 40 years, if I recall. So why they chose to live in Uganda, I will never know. I really should have asked. Every now and again you’d see them in the reception area sitting side by side watching TV; one with a hand on the knee of the other, both with walking sticks. It was a stark contrast to everything I had seen going on around me because after all, these were enemies of the state. They were a Gay Couple.

Footnote:  I have picked out a few of my negative experiences and pieced it together as best as I can. Please understand that every situation I put myself into, excluding the verbal attack in the bar in which I defended myself, I did so as calmly and carefully as possible.

The goal was never to create enemies, it was to create friends and try and show that LGBT is a natural way of life because we are seen as some sort of evil in Uganda. My only aim was to help, not to incite more hatred, and I did it for as long as I could humanly take it.
Please also note that all names and some places have been omitted or changed in order to protect the identities of those in Uganda from their Government.

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Jun 242014
 
paul robertsonport

Paul Robertson

By Paul Robertson.

Pride season is upon us and cosmopolitan cities across the world will shortly be celebrating the contributions of their gay populations – from London to Tel Aviv, from Berlin to Toronto.

This year is as good a year as any to go along to one if you haven’t already ticked that off your list.

It’s not all about half-naked male models gyrating on flamboyantly-decorated floats – although that is a particularly enjoyable aspect.

My personal hope is that when Pride Scotia rides into Edinburgh this year, we will take stock of just how far the LGBT community in Scotland has come – from decriminalisation in 1980 to the passage of a bill allowing gay people to marry just last year.

I hope, also, that we will take a moment to consider what the referendum on independence for Scotland might mean for our community.

Amidst a lively debate on independence, it has been difficult consider just what becoming independent might mean for LGBT people living in Scotland. The announcement this week of a draft Constitution for an independent Scotland provides us with that much awaited opportunity to engage as a community in the debate.

Scotland is no egalitarian utopia. Societal attitudes remain stubbornly conservative in some parts of the country and LGBT people still do face discrimination and homophobia in everyday life.

However many in the LGBT community will be heartened to see that sexual orientation has been named in the draft Constitution as a specific grounds upon which discrimination will be banned. Should Scotland become independent and that constitution adopted – our country would be only the second in the world to provide a constitutional protection for LGBT people. That is of enormous symbolic value.

A new Scotland that places protection for the rights of all people at its heart will be an achievement that we can all share in, particularly communities like the gay community which has faced such adversity.

LGBT communities around the world continue to struggle for the most basic of rights. Whilst we in Scotland have spent the last years campaigning to have our right to have our love for each other recognised, LGBT people in Uganda or Russia have been struggling to have their right to even live be recognised.

The struggle for basic human rights for all in the world remains the biggest challenge of the 21st century. It is not a fight that can be won with nuclear weapons or military might. It is expressions of soft power, of exemplary commitments to human rights, and of positive engagements with groups and governments that will move societies across the world to recognise the value of each human life.

Yes LGBT Aberdeen PosterFrom our groundbreaking law on equal marriage to our commitment to enshrining the rights of our LGBT Scots in a constitution; I have become convinced that Scotland has an important contribution to make for LGBT people living all over the world.

What would the foreign policy of a new Scotland be focussed on? Bombing Middle East countries or vociferously pursuing the human rights of the world’s marginalised peoples? Supplying dictators with weapons designed to kill and oppress or supplying groups with the resources needed to bring positive change to their societies?

A mould of a new Scotland is emerging and it is one that we can all contribute to shaping.

I believe wholeheartedly that we as an LGBT community should grasp independence with both hands – not just to secure a Constitution that protects us and offers a final confirmatory victory for equality for ourselves – but so that we can strive to secure those rights for others around the world, too.

LGBT people in Aberdeen have the opportunity to engage in this debate at a special event What will independence mean for LGBT rights? being held in Cheerz Bar on Saturday 28 June, 2pm to 4pm.

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Feb 072014
 

By Suzanne Kelly.

February 4, 2014 – BrewDog launches the world’s first protest beer – ‘Hello My Name is Vladimir’.  Within 24 hours the flagship Aberdeen bar had completely sold out of its stock of ‘Vladimir’ both bottled and draft beer. 

“Hello My Name is Vladimir mocks Putin’s discriminatory legislation ahead of the Winter Olympics in Sochi”

Brewdog Vlad sqScottish craft brewery, BrewDog has today launched Hello My Name is Vladimir, a craft beer apparently ‘not for gays’ that carries an image of the Russian premier wearing make up on the label.

The ale is the world’s first ‘protest beer’, aiming to support LGBT communities by undermining the potential of the Winter Olympics to deflect attention from Russia’s recent law banning ‘homosexual propaganda’.

  • 50 per cent of profits from the sale of Hello My Name is Vladimir will be donated directly to charities that represent oppressed minorities around the world.
  •  BrewDog has also sent a case of the limited edition beer to President Putin himself.
  • Hello My Name is Vladimir is a 8.2% ABV double IPA containing Limonnik berries, an ingredient regarded by some Russian hunters to enhance sexual performance in men.
  • As well as claiming the beer is ‘not for gays’, the label carries a garish Warhol-style image of Putin wearing eye shadow and lipstick and suggests the beer ‘may contain traces of sarcasm’.
  • The Putin-inspired double IPA is the latest in a long line of BrewDog beers making an impact during major events. In 2012, the brewer launched Never Mind the Anabolics, a beer laced with steroids, mocking Heineken’s sponsorship of the Olympic Games in London, whilst in 2011 BrewDog’s Royal Virility Performance beer was laced with herbal Viagra to mark the Royal Wedding and ‘take the wheels off the bandwagon’ being ridden by breweries manufacturing saccharine celebratory beers.
  • Hello My Name is Vladimir will be available for £2.89 per bottle in all BrewDog bars and brewdog.com from 4th February 2014.
  • BrewDog is trying to mount global social media pressure on Putin using the dedicated hashtag #NotForGays

James Watt, BrewDog co-founder commented:

Vlad-Label-copy-3“We sincerely hope that when Vladimir Putin is tired from a busy day riding horses with his top off, grappling with burly men on the Judo mat or fishing in his Speedos, he reclines on a velvet chaise longue and has one of his handsome helpers wet his whistle with a glass of Hello My Name is Vladimir.”

“As Hello My Name is Vladimir is clearly marked ‘not for gays’ we should bypass the legislation introduced by Putin outlawing supposed ‘homosexual propaganda’, so Vlad shouldn’t have an issue with it.

“He might even invite us to ride bareback with him in the Siberian mountains.”

“It’s been our mission at BrewDog to upend the status quo in whatever form it occurs.

“Whether it’s the stranglehold the mega brewers have had on beer production in Europe over the last 50 years, or in the case of Russia, the sick legislation that discriminates against millions of its citizens.

“Our core beliefs of freedom, integrity and passion drive all our actions. Since we started in 2007, we’ve always striven to strike fear at the heart of the gatekeepers and establishment, the launch of Hello My Name is Vladimir is simply a continuation of that tradition.”

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Feb 082013
 

With thanks to Kenneth Watt.

Barry Black, Aberdeen City Youth Council chair, has welcomed the passage of the Same Sex Marriage Bill through its second Parliamentary reading, allowing same sex couples in England and Wales to marry.

Mr Black wants to see the Scottish version of the Bill passed as soon as possible.

He said,

“I have written to all NE Scotland MSPs urging them to vote for the introduction of same sex marriage when the bill comes before the Scottish Parliament.

“The youth council and Aberdeen’s six MSYPs have been avid campaigners for the Scottish Youth Parliament’s Love Equally campaign. Today is a proud moment for us and a point to reflect on how society is moving forward.

“I am delighted by the vote in Parliament. It is a very positive step forward and it’s great to see the vast majority of MPs support equality for Same Sex Couples. If two consenting adults wish to marry, who is anyone to say no’”

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Jul 262012
 

Aberdeen Voice’s Old Susannah can barely contain her excitement over the Olympics and Tartan Day, and reviews the week’s past local events. By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho!  I guess we’ve all had an exciting week, and with the Olympics upon us and Tartan Day around the corner, you can practically feel the excitement.

I am not sure whether we will need to deploy surface-to-air missiles on top of St Nicholas House to ensure Tartan Day goes without a hitch like they’re doing with the Olympic games (what could go wrong?).  I am not clear as to whether there will be a special ‘Tartan Day’ lane on our main roads for VIPs, either.

But in all seriousness, it should be fun.

There has been so much in the news these last few weeks about morals – people wanting to marry people of the same sex just because they’re in love; people committing moral crimes (like paying in cash for services) and so on; who’s to know what’s moral and what’s not any more?

As well as looking to our community leaders, movie stars and elected officials for guidance through the murky waters of morality, Old Susannah has some advice and of course definitions.

Moral Superiority: (Eng. phrase) – claim of holding a higher set of values and ethics than another person or group (not to be confused with smug, self-righteous, conceited, or small-minded).

Firstly, we are all shocked, angered and saddened by the main news, I’m sure.  Kirsten Stewart, Twilight and Snow White star is not snow-white like the rest of us after all.   Stewart has had a brief encounter with a married film director.

No doubt armies of Twilight fans in thrall to her Twilight co-star, Robert Pattison, will be baying for Stewart to be burned at the stake.  After all, Hollywood is no place for people to have affairs, and a star in a quick fling with a director is without precedent.

I’m sure all of us remember what it was like to be in our late teens and early twenties, and we all remember how responsible we were then, never making any mistakes, never experimenting, and of course always being faithful.

Being as good as we were is just as easy if you’re trying to fit into Hollywood and make your way in life in front of a lens.  Otherwise, there would be one or two examples of child stars who had unhappy, stormy lives.  It is important to remember that what goes on between the people involved is the world’s business, because they are famous.

let’s not forget either that it is OK for a man to cheat, but for a girl to do so is unacceptable

It must be Kristen’s fault, mustn’t it?  Helpless Hollywood director, all on his own, and a worldly twenty-something woman, and all that.  We owe a huge debt of gratitude to US Weekly’s campaigning, morally-superior investigative journalists and the editors who put them on the scent of this crucial news story.

Will Stewart and Pattison get together again?  Will they be happily married and never divorce?  I can barely sleep nights for thinking about it.

Other than that, there is something in the news about a bank scandal, and civilians including children being tortured and killed in a place called Syria.  Will get back to you on that boring stuff some other time, but for now best keep your money in your mattress.  (I have deliberately spared you any lame puns in the ‘Twilight’ vampire vein.  I didn’t think I’d earn your fangs if I wrote anything about what was at stake for Stewart and Pattison, and I didn’t want any hilarious jokes giving anyone a coffin fit.  Bad vampire puns suck).

Now that we’ve established we are all morally superior to Ms Stewart and her director, let’s not forget either that it is OK for a man to cheat, but for a girl to do so is unacceptable.  I hope Ms Stewart will look to other famous role models in Hollywood and Government for clues as how to be as morally acceptable, faithful and upright as they are in the future.

One last observation, courtesy of the Facebook page of George Takei (something popular with the young people I’m told).  In the Harry Potter saga, when the heroine’s boyfriend leaves her, Hermione goes on a quest to save the world.  In the Twilight saga, when the heroine’s boyfriend leaves her, Bella sits in a chair for three months, doing nothing but crying.  Hmm.

Morally Wrong: (Eng phrase) behaviour or opinions which go against prevailing standards.

Hooray!  The Coalition government is going after those who are ‘morally wrong’ – and they should know all about morals, shouldn’t they?

Exchequer Secretary David Gauke has publicly accused homeowners who give workers cash of helping them avoid tax.  Tax avoidance!  NO!  Our tax system is totally fair, and anyone who is doing jobs for cash is always a morally bankrupt criminal. And the government have more than a little experience with tax avoidance.

  The Government practices what it preaches, and no MPs are guilty of any tax evasion, book-fiddling, or expense padding at all

The Revenue has, after a few expensive meals and hospitality events, waived goodbye to tax which was owed to you and I by Vodaphone, to name but one multinational that hasn’t paid what it owed.  These few settlements made by the government to multinationals of a billion here and a few hundred million there can eventually add up to significant amounts, but nothing like the man who wants £50 for painting your hallway.

Rumour has it that even here in the respectable North East of Scotland, one of our very own billionaires changed some of his employment schemes to keep money offshore and out of the taxman’s pocket.  Wood that I could tell you who I was thinking of.

The Government practices what it preaches, and no MPs are guilty of any tax evasion, book-fiddling, or expense padding at all.  The government needs all the money it can get for worthwhile causes like buying more weaponry.  After we’ve taken care of the defence budget, we can throw a few scraps to the poor (but only the ‘undeserving’ poor of course).

Hopefully, we’ve got all the lazy MS, cancer-stricken, paralysed layabouts back into meaningful work (whether paid or not), so we should probably consider cutting back on social welfare programmes.    It might seem that there is one rule for the rich and powerful, and another for the rest of us, but I’m sure this is just illusory.

I admit that there are people who make a career out of avoiding tax who are involved in the building trade; they should be brought to book, and made to behave like MPs, bankers  and company directors.

Once Scotland is independent, it will all be different, I’m sure.   But remember, if you hire someone to paint your front steps or fix your garden, don’t pay in cash.  Try to pay them with a service in kind instead – let’s see how that would work.

Moral High Ground: (Eng. phrase) The position of superiority of those with codes and values above the prevailing standards in society.

Well, thank heavens for the Westboro Baptist Church!  Where would we be without them.  These followers of Christ (who once apparently had something to do with ‘love one another’ and ‘let he who is without sin cast the first stone’ and other outdated nonsense) are showing us the way.

  These people occupy the moral high ground, because they know what god would have wanted

They nearly came to Aberdeen once to spread the word against immoral behaviour like homosexuality, but they changed their minds.  Old Susannah was so looking forward to greeting them appropriately as well; so were several hundred others.  Perhaps they still will.

These people occupy the moral high ground, because they know what god would have wanted.  They helpfully show up at funerals for servicemen and women who were gay, and create delightful, enlightening events for the mourners, in the true spirit of Christianity of course.

Strangely no mainstream churches seem brave enough to join Westboro on its crusades against gays, blacks, Jewish people and others.  I wonder why.  When I have a chance, I think I’ll ask Westboro about some of its positions; I am starting to wonder if they are a bit racist and homophobic – and I’m not quite able to find the bits in the bible telling me God wants it that way.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little update on what is and isn’t moral, and if you have any questions, just get in touch with Westboro.

Next week:  a romp through Aberdeen’s draft financial accounts – which everyone has the chance to examine until 18 August.

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