Great, gallus, glaikit, glutt’nous beastie
Man wisnae pit on earth tae feed ye,
Nor wake tae hear yer raucous screechin,
afore day’s brakkin.
I unnerstan yer satisfaction,
yer honest, natural reaction,
that bin-bags are a great attraction,
tae easy snackin,
Ye nest within oor cosy lums,
the bucket mannie seldom comes,
yer numbers grow from sum tae sum,
a plague o oor ain makkin.
The hangin baskets smell so sweet,
up the toon on Union Street,
but in the ootskirts mind yer feet,
and dodge the nappies.
The cooncil cutbacks hurt us sair,
they say we should recycle mair,
but when they’re shitebombed frae the air,
Ah hope they’re happy!