Sep 302011
 

By Bob Smith.

Eence mair oor local “daily”
His cum up wi mair shite
“Is iss Scotland’s maist hated mannie?”
On their front page they did write

A cos a chiel stood his grun
An ti ridicule widna gie in
So some sneaky journalist buggers
Thocht the knife they wid stik in

A puckle fowk they wrote letters
An ti the editor fair pynted oot
They hid nae truck wi hatred
Ower the opposin o the AWPR route

Some 91% o us are supposed ti be
Agin Road Sense an their palaivers
Na Na, it’s 91% o five hunner an een
Faa’s opinion they did favour

Ti the P&J iss winna maitter
Iss wee bit slip o the quill
As lang as Wullie Walton bides hated
An thochts o Road Sense they are ill

The Daily Record an apology gied
Ti Neil Lennon an Celtic FC
Fer usin wirds like “hated”
Allied ti Rangers fecht wi HMRC

Noo jist fit is the difference
Fowk wid  hae the richt ti ask
“Hated” wis used in baith spiels
Yet only ae paper wis teen ti task

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011
Image credit: © Axel Drosta | Dreamstime.com 

 

Jan 282011
 

Its been a ‘trying’ week for Old Susannah as two former political party leaders are ‘court’ up in controversy. As one faces a lengthy term indoors, and the other attempts to shake off the ‘terminator’ tag, Old Suz tackles some tricky terminology.

Apology

(noun) an expression of regret, acknowledging some form of mistake, error or wrong doing..  Examples:  I gave my granny an apology for breaking a piece of her china years ago.  I apologised when I was late for an appointment last week.

Tony Blair has now apologised to everyone at the Chilcot Enquiry into the Iraq War.  He said that he is sorry tens of thousands of people – soldiers, civilian men, women, children, innocent bystanders in short – got killed in the war.  He could not have foreseen that war would lead to any of that.  The one million strong protestors who marched to Hyde Park to protest the war clearly did not have all the facts, and did not know what was really at stake like Tony did; so he was right to ignore them.

This is a democracy after all; he was elected and was able to do what he wanted.  Hans Blix, and other weapons inspectors likewise, were wrong to conclude that Saddam did not have stores of ‘weapons of mass destruction’ (as compared to ‘weapons of mass irritation’ or ‘weapons of a tiny bit of destruction’) and could not attack us in 45 minutes.  Blair had the dossier to prove it, so fair dues.

The UN likewise was misguided: not having any of Blair’s intelligence and intuition.  Blair had promised President Bush ‘we were with you all the way’ some 8 months before the war started, and as we all know, it is important not to break a promise.  Good on you Tony.  Now that is what I call foresight and planning ahead.  I guess if you needed expert guidance at the time, you couldn’t have done any better than listening to Bush, Cheney , Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and the rest of the American experts, who waged this war with no fear of the personal sacrifice it would cost each and every one of them.  To those who say that there are things that are beyond an apology, they are wrong:  this apology will immediately heal all physical and emotional wounds.   The soldier in rehab, the widow, the orphans, those left destitute will find Tony’s ‘sorry’ all the tonic they need.  Apology accepted.

Remorse

(noun) To genuinely regret an action, even to the point of feeling guilt and sadness.

It should be noted that Tony Blair’s apology over the Iraq War has absolutely no remorse in it, and even less sincerity.  He is ‘glad we removed Saddam’.  He would ‘do it again’.  It could be Old Susannah, but I don’t see the remorse in that attitude.  Why this one particular dictator was more important to ‘remove’ than the hundreds of others who blight this world, particularly in Africa and Asia, is in no way connected to then President Bush’s determination to avenge his daddy, whose own war on Iraq was not a great success.

Those who pushed this war on us were not interested in making a profit; any sudden enrichment to their bank balances was coincidental.  A certain former US Chief of Defence might have had a teeny connection to a certain oil company; it could happen to anyone.  He was just in the right place at the right time.  We must remember how the war instantly brought peace, stability, equality and human rights to the region.

For some bizarre reason the jury failed to see that Mr Sheridan is the victim of a massive conspiracy reminiscent of the Davinci Code’s plot

Another important power couple are not feeling much in the way of remorse or regret either:  Mr and Mrs Sheridan, who are having a tough time of it.  For some bizarre reason the jury failed to see that Mr Sheridan is the victim of a massive conspiracy reminiscent of the Davinci Code’s plot.  He angrily denied any wrongdoing; his lovely wife stood by him – and yet somehow people think he might not be telling the truth, and he has cruelly been found him guilty of perjury.  Mrs Sheridan is a model to all us ladies – stand by your man no matter what.  What a lovely woman she must be, and if she’s single-handedly set women’s rights and independence back by 7 to 10 years, so what.  After his angry protestations of innocence and being set up, Mr Sheridan is now pleading for mercy in his sentencing.  I wonder if he is feeling remorse for having brought the lawsuit to ‘clear his name’ which led directly to where he is now.  What’s wrong with a man in power cheating on his wife in sleazy sex clubs then suing newspapers that print the tale?  I guess a shared interest in perjury helps keep this power couple together.

Trade Union

(noun) A Trade Union is a bad, bad thing that costs people jobs, ruins the global economy, and cuts into everyone’s pockets.  Believe it or not, the Unions representing Aberdeen City Council workers have actually rejected the kindly offer of taking a 5% pay cut for its members, who the Council now has no choice but to sack 900 people.

Unions came about to protect the rights of the workers, but things have now moved on, and it’s the poor employer that is suffering.  Through no fault of its own, Aberdeen City Council is being forced to cut jobs by the greedy unions.

The Council might own more real estate, buildings, offices and land than your average king.  The City might have written off millions of pounds in bad debts over the years.  They even might have sold land for a fraction of its value to a few lucky developers.  They could even have introduced a sliding scale for these proposed salary cuts, with the overpaid – I mean higher paid – managers taking a larger than 5% cut, and had smaller cuts for the lower-paid.   But Aberdeen’s not a charity.  If you’re going to work for the City, count yourselves lucky.  Take the cut.  You’ll be getting a brand new desk and chair when you move to Marischal College!  And if you still feel unfairly treated, do keep your stories coming to Old Susannah.   They are getting juicy!