Voice’s poetry mannie Bob Smith takes a wee bit of a departure this week, seemingly in the footsteps of Edward Lear, whilst ‘hingin on ticht’ to his native tongue.
| There wis a young loon fae Montrose Faa wore affa bricht coloured hose He wint oot on his bike Wis attacked by a tyke Aat silly young loon fae Montrose . There wis a quine fae Stonehaven Faa wis kent ti be a bit craven She widna ging oot at nicht In case she took fricht Aat daft quine fae Stonehaven . There wis a chiel fae Glen Garry Faa’s job wis drivin a larry He sped doon iss hill Fell foul o the “Auld Bill” Aat feelish chiel fae Glen Garry . There wis a quine fae Portree Faa suddenly wint it ti pee She wint intae lang girss Bit fell doon on her erse Aat misfortnat quine fae Portree . There wis a young loon fae Braemar Faa needed a new motor car He funcied an Alfa Romeo Landed up wi a Mondeo Aat puir young loon fae Braemar . There wis an aul man fae Kintore Faa funcied the local whore Fin he asked fit it cost He wis telt ti get lost Aat randy auld man fae Kintore |
There wis a young chiel fae Ayr As an artist hid considerable flair Ti pint a portrait o his mither He fun iss nae bither Aat talented young chiel fae Ayr . There wis a wifie fae Wick Efter binge drinkin wis maist affa sick She dooned three bottles o wine An still thocht she’d be fine Aat drunken wifie fae Wick . There wis a billie fae Skene At golf wis maist affa keen He missed so mony putts It drove the guy nuts Aat daft gowfin billie fae Skene . There wis a young miss fae Rosehearty Her dress sense wis thocht a bit “tarty” Hemlines up ti her bum Naethin coverin her tum Aat modern young miss fae Rosehearty . There wis a young ned fae Lochcarron Faa wis the local drugs baron Ae nicht he got drunk An lost aa his “skunk” Aat silly young ned fae Lochcarron . There wis an aul hag fae Lumphanan Faa’s fart wis as lood as a cannon Efter denner plus three gins She cwid be heard in Torphins Aat “windy” aul hag fae Lumphanan |
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012