By Bob Smith.
| A loon is noo wy’in in 15 steen is his wecht At the age o eleeven Wi obesity is haen a fecht . Some fowk they are ca’en fer Ma an Da ti be teen in han Chairged wi child neglect An as parents shud be banned . Noo ere’s na doot ava His wecht is ower the tap Bit is it the loon’s fowks Fa shud be takkin the rap? . Did they neglect ti tell him Faist food cwid be ti blame? Or did they pile his plate Fan the loon he aet at hame? . Bit chairgin ‘em wi neglect Aat’s takkin things ower far Jist supply him wi a bicycle Ban him fae usin bus an car |
Noo a hiv ma ain theory Aboot foo the loon’s aat size Maybe ower muckle burgers Tapp’t aff wi some French fries . It cwid o coorse aa bi doon Ti a faulty faimily gene Far the loon he his a likin Fer jam tarts an clottit cream . A hope fer the laddie’s sake He manages ti lose wecht An his parents dinna hiv ti Tak on lawyers in a fecht . The nanny state is on the mairch Fit next wull they rail agin? Maybe fat fowk ha’en sex Cos they’re causin an affa din? . We cwid maybe aa bi dee’in Wi losin poonds roon the middle If mannies canna see their willie Fin they gyaang ti hae a piddle |
© Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2014
Photo: Christian Cable/Creative Commons
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