Apr 262012

By Bob Smith.

Fitba fans are noo fleein
Fae the shite they are seein
Played on pitches throwoot the land
Their heids they are scratchin
At fit they are watchin
Coaches beery their heids in the sand
The gemme is noo borin
Fin teams are nae scorin
Nae players git on the scoresheet
Ti fans it’s a scunner
Git forrit they thunner
Some teams try nae ti git beat
Nae goalmouth scrambles
Or quick passin gambles
Haud on ti the ba is the goal
Nae fleein wingers
Fa at crosses war slingers
A striker’s a richt lonely soul
The gemme’s played in midfield
Neither team it dis yield
Ti move faist they nivver aspire
We maun keep possession
Is a coach’s confession
Scorin goalswis eence the desire
The coaches div sing
Results are the thing
So AABODY defends at the back
Strikers noo in defence
Fin things get ower tense
There’s nae bugger left  in attack
If wi dinna concede
The coaches wull plead
Wi micht sneak a goal near the eyn
Fans fin iss a bore
An some they div snore
Tryin hard their seats ti recline
Players they faa ower
Some are a richt shower
Sma contact?- they’re doon on the grun
Chiels clutchin their face
As actors they’re ace
In sic folly the fans fin nae fun
So things maun be changed
In the heids o the deranged
A mair positive style wi shud see
Or I’m feart itherwise
We’ll see the demise
O a gemme eence flowin an free
Attack attack attack
We maun noo bring back
Leave defences ti cope wi attackers
If a goal is lit in
Dinna think it’s a sin
Jist gyaang an score twa crackers
It’s doon ti cost
Some fans are lost
Gweed money is pyed ti watch piss
If the gemme’s poor
Fer 30 minutes plus an oor
Mair and mair wull gie it a miss
A’m gettin lang in the tooth
An fair doon in the mooth
At fit eence wis “the beautiful game”
Lots o matches are crap
Wi tackles ower the tap
Fit we’re seein’s a richt bliddy shame
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012
Image Credit: Ancrum A.F.C football pitch and dugout (Iain Lees) / CC BY-SA 2.0