Pollution - Aberdeen Voice

Smithy’s Scribblins No 6 – Aboot Treatin The Earth Weel

May 172013

By Bob Smith.

There is a Native American sayin “Treat the Earth weel. We dinna inherit the Earth fae oor ancestors We borra it fae oor children” Aat bein the case oor affspring are nae gyaan tae be verra happy wis us.

We’re makkin a richt bliddy pig’s erse o lookin efter the planet we aa bide on.

Een o the biggest problems wi hiv is foo we use the lan we bide on.

There his bin huge pressure pit on the Earth’s ecosystems since the Industrial Revolution. Afore aat maist fowk workit in the rural areas bit wi the onset o fit poet William Blake described as the “dark satanic mills” fowk moved intae growen toons an pollution fair belched oot o factory lums and the coal fires o the workers hames.

It is alleged carbon dioxide levels hiv increased by 38% since 1750 an methane levels by 148%.

So aat wis the stairt o oor planet’s problems bit thingies hiv gotten worse ower the past hunner ‘ear an speecially so in the past fifty.

There hiv bin “land grabs” fae the indeginous fowk o various kwintras tae further the interests o big business throwe mair minin, loggin an cattle ranchin, tae name bit three, resultin in the loss o lan fer agricuture so aat the fowk can nae langer feed thersels.

Forests hiv bin cut doon, fowk displaced,the habitats o animals destroyed, aa in the name o so ca’ed progress. The human race is spreadin its tentacles aawye usin up the Earth’s resources at sic a speed the planet hisna hid time tae recover.

Awa back in time fowk jist used fit they nott an leukit efter the natural world, livin side bi side wi the ither inhabitants o the Earth. Nooadays we hiv becum greedy an it’s a race tae see faa can mak the maist dosh an nivver myn if wi leave ahint a trail o destruction in the rush tae achieve economic growth.

As a chiel faa cums fae a fairmin backgrun it pains me tae hae tae write iss next bittie, bit modern intensive fairmin practices hiv,in ma opeenion, contributed tae the pollution o the lan an destruction o habitat fer a puckle birdies an animals.

As far as a can see verra little crap rotation is deen nooadays

A myn on ma faither, nae lang afore he passed awa, sayin he wis gled he wisna stairtin up in fairmin noo as it wis nae langer leukit upon as a wye o life bit mair a business controlled by faceless bunkers, reid tape, an the agri-chemical business.

Noo ma faither did use fertilisers bit he didna like pesticides.

As far as a can see verra little crap rotation is deen nooadays an as a result the grun becums soor an loses its nutrient value hince the reason mair an mair fertilisers hiv tae be used.

Spreadin gweed coo’s shite in its natural form is nae langer a practice widely used. Mair an mair slurry is gyaan on tae the parks an bein in liquid form can leak fae the lan intae ditches an burns an syne intae rivers.

Fairmers hiv ower the past fifty ‘ear pulled up hedgin an knock’t doon dykes tae mak the parks bigger tae accomodate the muckle big tractors an machinery. The hedges an dykes war refuges fer birds an wee beasties.

The loss o roch grassland, loss o mixed fairms, conversion tae arable craps only, an a switch fae spring tae autumn sowin a mak life difficult fer fairmland birds like the teuchat an the laverock.

The bee population is thocht tae be suffrin throwe the use o certin pesticides an yet the fairmers need the bees tae pollenate some o their craps so fit wye div they keep on sprayin? Ae answer is – bigger yields are leukit on as mair important than the birds an the bees.

Noo there is a smatterin o fairmers faa hiv decided tae gyang back tae een or twa o the auld wyes o producin food.There are a helluva lot mair faa need convincin.

A noo cum tae a bit fit wull nae mak me ower popular wi some fowk.

the human population is risin an we need hooses tae accomodate aabody

Reports hiv bin sayin fer ‘ears we are nae able tae feed oorsels in iss kwintra. Nae bliddy wunner, we hap productive lan wi concrete in the form o hoosin and industrial developments an hiv great ribbons o tar criss crossin aawye.

We are telt the human population is risin an we need hooses tae accomodate aabody an fowk need their cars tae get fae A tae B.

Maybe it’s time we aa stairted waakin mair afen an foo aboot bannin bonkin fer a ear or twa? Aat wid fair reduce the need fer sae muckle cars an wid gyang sum wye tae halt a population explosion.

Myn ye, ma suggestion o bannin bonkin micht increase the amunt o wankers gaen aboot.

Tae git back tae bein a bittie mair serious. John Muir, the great Scottish born American naturalist, eence said

“The gross heathenism of civilisation has generally destroyed nature and poetry and all that is spiritual”

We maun aa therefor hae a leuk at fit’s gyaan on in the warld an try tae influence the eens in power aat continued economic growth micht pit in jeopardy the future fer oor affspring.

As lang as the warld an his mither ging aboot consumin ower muckle, the Earth suffers.

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

The Menie Estate: From SSSIs To Bluegrass Country

Aberdeenshire, Environment, Featured, Opinion 9 Responses »

Feb 252013

In this instalment of the Menie Estate Series, Suzanne Kelly considers environmental issues and describes her visit to the course on 16 February 2013.

Our elected officials largely shrugged their collective shoulders when consigning the Menie Coastline and its SSSI sites to history to accommodate Trump International Golf Links Scotland.
It was Aberdeenshire Council’s position that making money outstripped the importance of the Scottish coastal environment for present and future generations of people and wildlife. They did phrase it a little less brashly than that:-

“Aberdeenshire Council supports the proposed development because the economic and social benefits through growing and diversifying the economy are sufficient to outweigh the conflict with national and development plan policies relating to the environment, protected landscapes and new house building.”
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/212607/0067709.pdf

At least a few gestures were made to protect whatever wildlife would survive comprising two 18-hole courses, clubhouse, parking, a 450-room hotel, 950 holiday apartments, 36 ‘golf villas’, 500 houses for sale, accommodation for 400 staff, and all the pollution this would bring.

An environmental advisory board, Menie (Links) Environmental Management Advisory Group, was appointed and Professor William Ritchie made its head. Professor Ritchie has been Director of the Aberdeen Institute for Coastal Science and Management at Aberdeen University since 2002, and he has a long list of credentials.

Surely this would be a pro-active group headed by an experienced leader who would do everything possible to safeguard our environment and enforce any environmental conditions on the site.

Professor Ritchie is listed in the Menie Estate Report to the Scottish Ministers as being ‘in support of the case for the development For Trump International Golf Links Scotland’. (http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/212607/0067709.pdf)

Some would find this hard to credit – that an academic at Aberdeen University would prefer to see a golf course in place of two unique SSSIs which would inevitably be compromised. (Later on in the same report, Ritchie seems to say he is neither for nor against the planning application, which seems contradictory to the contents pages).

Despite claims in the report that Ritchie was on the Trump side of the argument, no doubt he would actively protect what could be protected through his role at the newly-created body, MEMAG.

MEMAG:

MEMAG holds meetings – which, according to minutes, the Trump organisation rarely sends representatives to attend :-

“The group noted that the absence of TIGLS representation at recent MEMAG meetings wasunfortunate but, on a positive note, contact had been made with John Bambury (JB) who is the new LINKS Superintendent.”
http://www.memag.org.uk/Docs/Minutes%20MEMAG%20-%2031May2012%20Website.pdf

Do MEMAG members visit the site regularly? Does MEMAG answer relevant questions in a timely fashion? Does it exercise its authority relevant to the following provisions made in the Report? Among other powers:-

“MEMAG has authority to prevent damaging activities…”
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/212607/0067709.pdf

MEMAG’s own mission statement reads in part:-

“to monitor environmental changes;
“to advise on good practice managerial responses;
“to act as an independent check that developer commitments in relation to the dunes environment would be fulfilled;
“to advise on mitigation and minimisation of environmental impacts; and
“to commence work before site work begins and to continue to advise throughout the operational life of the development.”

But like the sand dunes, things had shifted by the time MEMAG’s inaugural press release came out. MEMAG’s previous ‘authority to prevent damaging activities’ became:-

“For the avoidance of doubt, MEMAG operates as an advisory body only and will not have the power to veto any proposal or action proposed by TIGLS…”
http://www.memag.org.uk/Docs/MEMAG%20Press%20Relaease%201.4b%20Final.pdf

At the time of writing, MEMAG’s website had no minutes since June 2012, and has not responded to some dozen environmental questions it received from me on 23 January. Residents I have spoken with are not aware of having much or any contact with, or sight of MEMAG personnel visiting the site.

The following observations from my visit of 16 February should ideally be looked at by MEMAG, but perhaps it is time MEMAG itself should be looked at.

Digging the Scene

I walked the site for several hours on 16 February with an Aberdeen Voice photographer. There seemed to me to be work in progress without specific planning approval.
Retrospective permission has been sought after work is completed on this site before, such as for the gigantic earth bunds which block light near the Munro property.

Surely the environmental monitors would step in and halt any further unauthorised work?

At 11am on 16 February I observed three separate sites where earth moving equipment was in operation for work which had not been approved as far as I or the residents knew. Other vehicles on site included a digger parked near the Blairton Burn, which has permission for a bridge, as well as ever-circling IZON security vehicles visible several times on our walk.

The first work in progress is near the parking lot; a digger ( pictured top right ) is levelling out a large rectangular area. I wonder whether it could be for the temporary marquee, which is not yet approved.

Another earth-moving vehicle was digging; I cannot tell what the purpose was. This was on the west side of the course. Finally at the very south of the course a third vehicle was also digging. This might be the area set out for the second, as yet unapproved course.

This second course was announced with some fanfare in the press, but no plans are available for it yet on the council website, and in a phone call, Aberdeenshire Council confirmed they do not have the plans.

These possibly unauthorised works were reported to Aberdeenshire Council’s Planning Department by email and phone from 17 February. Although any unauthorised works can theoretically be stopped immediately, I have yet to receive word as to whether work has stopped, nor do I have any response yet from the council about this work.

The Blue, Blue Grass of Home

Like the pate of a certain bellicose billionaire, the greens of the first course seem to be thinning. In the first case, a subtle, unnoticeable comb-over hairstyle is the answer. In the case of the greens the answer is apparently – blue dye.

My visit on 16 February to the site was prompted by comments from a frequent Balmedie visitor: huge swathes of the green (and a little patch of sand) had been ‘spray-painted’ a blue-green colour.

Mother Nature seems not to be accepting the imposition of this golf course on the coast very well. First, part of the course was washed out to sea in winter storms.

Now the winds are blowing sand (hardly surprisingly) across the turfed areas, which can’t exactly be helping the grass to grow.

The height of the grass on some of the greens above the sand is very short indeed, making it seem that sand is covering the lower parts of the blades of grass. Is it possible that the grass is turning yellow in response to the sand and its proximity to the salt spray from the North Sea, making a dose of blue dye necessary for the appearance of health?

To me, from a distance the colour effect is of a less-than-natural turquoise green coloured grass. On closer inspection it is, to my eyes, violently unnatural. (Note – at no time did we walk on the greens, which would have been contrary to access codes). My personal reaction is that had I been a millionaire golfing tourist, I would not be best pleased to have flown into Aberdeen to look at blue-green dye.

To digress for a moment from the lurid chemicals being used to dye the course – and the questions this raises about what other chemicals may be in use – at the area south of the Blairton Burn, the course is laid out in such a way that the only way to avoid walking on the greens for several yards is on a very narrow, steep sand dune bank. The following excerpt from the Report springs to mind for several reasons:-

“2.1.54 Professor Ritchie thought that the fairway of hole 14 would be 30 - 40 metres away from the coastal dune and was surprised to be told that it scales at 21 metres on T2. …. It remains the applicant’s position that the coastal dunes should not be touched.” - IBID

At the point south of the Blairton Burn the green is only a few meters at best away from the coastal dune. It is as if the movable sand dune system was – moving. While the ‘applicant’ may have asserted that the coastal dunes ‘should not be touched’, arguably they are being planted with Marram grass and otherwise ‘touched’. No doubt this will be of interest to the appointed environmental protectors as well as work at the Blairton Burn area.

Blairton Bridge Burn

The area which eroded into the sea is now being fortified with stone/concrete blocks at the sides of the burn. Rocks are used at the base of some nearby dunes stretching towards the sea. Whether or not this rock installation is on Crown land and meets with Crown approval has yet to be determined.

Perhaps it is time MEMAG visits the course again and considers whether some of it is far too close to the shore, making the course potentially likely to erode into the sea, and making life for people who wish to legally walk around the course difficult if not potentially dangerous.

How Green are Golf Course Greens? The Green Desert

Is a golf course, set in an idyllic countryside setting necessarily a green haven? Not necessarily.

I am unable to confirm reports that burrowing animals were gassed in order to create the course and maintain its smooth contours, but this is the suspicion of some of my sources, and would not be without precedent in the industry. The long list of environmental charities objecting to the development included the SNH and RSPB.

A pool of water visible on the side of the course at both my visits is a rusty brown colour with a sheen on it. This is not a large pool, but if I wonder about what is making it discoloured and oily, perhaps MEMAG should be likewise curious.

Aside from coloured dye, what other chemicals are being used? Are golf courses perfectly safe? There is growing evidence that fertilisers, pesticides and other chemicals may have some serious consequences for wildlife and people.

In their article entitled A Global Perspective on the Environmental Impact of Golf, Kit Wheeler & John Nauright collate some worrying statistics on human health and environmental damage resulting from the creation and maintenance of golf courses. The aims of the article include:-

“… examination of the environmental impacts that accompany projects that fail to take the environment at large into account; to discuss some of the implications for developing countries being targeted by money-hungry developers…”

I recommend reading the paper in full, but here are some excerpts:-

“One of the more obvious, and potentially dangerous, ways a golf course can impact the environment is through the large-scale application of chemicals including fertilizers, insecticides, pesticides and fungicides. These chemicals can be damaging, sometimes even lethal, to organisms that are exposed to them, either in the water, on the ground or even in the air… ”

“Chatterjee’s study published in 1993 stated that an average of 1500 kg of agrochemicals, some of them known carcinogens, are applied to golf courses each year and that 90 per cent of sprayed chemicals end up in the air.[30] A subsequent study by Chamberlain iterated that a typical 18-hole course uses 22,680 kg of dry and liquid chemicals annually.”

and

“It has also been shown that people who spend a good deal of time around [golf courses]… may also be susceptible to the effects of hazardous chemicals. …USGA volatilization studies report that organophosphate insecticides that possess high toxicity and volatility could result in exposure situations that cannot be deemed completely safe as judged by the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)…”
- A Global Perspective on the Environmental Impact of Golf, Kit Wheeler & John Nauright
http://reearth.org/wp-content/images/2008/03/golf_environment.pdf

Golf And A Good Walk Spoiled

Part of the importance of the environment is our legal right to enjoy it.
The post of countryside access officer for the Menie area remains unfilled for some months; this person would be responsible for ensuring people can enjoy the area without security intervention or locked gates (at least two sites have gates which are locked making paths inaccessible to bicycles or people with mobility issues).

Finally

Failing any dramatic development, this will be the final article in this series, and a final report with recommendations will be issued soon. Considering the way we have made people, the environment, and our own laws bend to the will of one man on a quest for a golf course, it is hard to see what we will ever gain, or whether next generations of people will thank us (or if there will be next generations of wildlife on that stretch of Scottish Coast).

Wheeler & Nauright summed the situation up perfectly:-

“Local communities are routinely excluded from the decision-making processes regarding course development… After losing their battle against developers, local residents often lose their land next. … These types of changes can wreak havoc on rural communities while also exacerbating urban problems of slums, pollution and congestion.”

Perhaps when we are all wealthy as a result of this ‘£1 billion pound’ development we will be wealthy enough to jet off to some unspoilt natural coastal resorts for some fresh air.

Then again, we could simply have realised what we had before Trump came to town.

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Smoke: Are You Sure You Know What’s Safe?

Community, Featured, Information 2 Responses »

Sep 212012

Suzanne Kelly reports on the results of some important research presented at the recent Science Festival.

Aberdeen Science Festival had an amazing array of lectures, talks, trips and cabaret events which thousands of visitors enjoyed.

One of the more important issues covered was the very serious subject of second-hand smoke and its effect on children. I took the opportunity to talk to Dr Stephen Turner ( pictured ) of Aberdeen University and Rachel O’Donnell of ASH Scotland on a promising initiative to attempt to tackle this complex problem.

You smoke, or your partner smokes; you have a couple of children and a cat. No harm in smoking around them in the house – just open a window and the smoke can’t bother them. Can it?

You close the window when you’re done smoking. You don’t smell much smoke and you can’t see any clouds of smoke at all, so there’s no risk to anyone.

The truth is that ANY smoke residue can definitely harm your children and your pets. Smoke that you can see and other chemicals in smoke that you can’t see or smell are injuring kids. About 85% of cigarette smoke is invisible.

You might not believe this to be true, but please remember the old ‘canary in a coal mine’ story. Miners would take canaries down into the mines and if the bird suddenly died, either the oxygen was running out, or there was something dangerous, but invisible and scentless. Things you don’t see can indeed hurt you and your children.

REFRESH is an intervention aimed at reducing the exposure children get to second-hand smoke which was presented during the Aberdeen Science Festival. Dr Stephen Turner and Rachel O’Donnell were available to explain how they worked with smoking families when they did their research. They were not trying to make parents stop smoking, but instead were making people aware what the consequences can be on children’s lives. The full details are written in a paper called ‘REFRESH – reducing families’ exposure to second-hand smoke in the home: a feasibility study.’

Families where young children were living with regular smokers were asked to take part in a study which would measure indoor air quality in their homes. The personalised air quality data were presented to the smoker, then a motivational interview was held and positive solutions were suggested for cleaner, healthier air for the child.

There were about 60 Aberdonian participants in this study with each receiving four visits. At the first meeting a questionnaire was filled in to get a picture of the household members and their smoking habits; saliva samples were taken for chemical testing and monitoring equipment was set up. At the second visit the indoor air quality result was given to half of the households in addition to the motivational interview.

The chart below shows smoke levels in one study household.

Any quantity over 25 micrograms of smoke in a cubic metre of air space is harmful; the higher the figure, the more harm.

When the smoker was asleep, the levels dropped to non-existent. When the smoker lit that first cigarette, the levels went up to between 500 and 950 micrograms of smoke in a cubic metre of air.

Throughout the day, the smoke lingered – even when the smoker assumed the room was clear of smoke.

This came as quite a revelation for the smokers. Here is what some of them had to say:

“Seeing the results made a big difference. It was like a shock because I didn’t realise. Like I don’t sit here and smoke in front of my child, I do it in the kitchen, but for the readings to be high like that when I’m not like anywhere near it, if you know what I mean, it’s like a shock factor to realise what it can do. So I think that’s the best thing that like helped me.”

“I showed them how high it was, and some of them was like – you’re joking? And I was like no…”

“For it (monitoring) to be done in your own home and for you to know that the level of smoke is so high and you’re putting your children at risk of asthma, emphysema, all kinds of things, it’s quite shocking.”

One comment in particular shows the strength of the motivational factor provided by caring about children’s health:

“For me I think my son’s health, that’s my priority. So I would like to think that all mothers would think like that, that their kids come first no matter what. My bad habits shouldn’t be put onto my child. Because I can’t stop smoking doesn’t mean he has to suffer.”

After one month the research team revisited the houses, repeated the air quality measurements and, this time, gave all the households their results. During the month the air quality had not changed in the houses where air quality data was not initially given but air quality had improved by more than one third where the graph was used as part of the initial motivational interview.

personalised measurements of smoke in the home, while shocking, can also be very motivational

The trial was not large, but its results show that a future, large-scale programme would be beneficial. Like everything else, budgetary constraints are a factor. The vast sums that the NHS has to spend treating smoke-related illnesses should be sufficient to show that prevention should be actively pursued as one solution to the smoking issue.

The study has shown that lay people can most definitely engage with science and can understand complex matters when it is presented using clear, audience-appropriate, audience-relevant formats. Crucially, the personalised measurements of smoke in the home, while shocking, can also be very motivational. As the paper concludes:

“…in almost all participating households, indoor air (quality) approached a threshold considered unhealthy, suggesting a need to reduce indoor air (quality) in many households across the UK, and that many people would benefit from such an intervention.”

It seems that this combination of personalised data, positive suggestions and active participation of smokers might be the way to tackle smoke exposure to children. It is hoped this small study won’t be the end of the matter. The research goes on but, in the meantime, parents who smoke can create smoke free homes and smoke free cars to protect their children from the harmful effects of second hand smoke.

Smoking is still a social norm for many families but in the same way as drink driving and not wearing a seat belt are no longer acceptable, in future smoking will be considered as not acceptable by society.

PS for animal lovers - according to Dr Turner, the incidence of feline leukaemia is twice as high in cats that live in a smoker’s home than for cats that live in a smoke free environment.

Comments enabled – see comments box below. Note, all comments will be moderated.

Consumption Without Conscience

Environment, Information No Responses »

May 172012

John Fraser lifts the lid on the worrying social and environmental impact of our ‘must have’ consumer society.

Pandora’s Box – a metaphor for our time.

Are we mature enough as a society to protect our last remaining wildernesses and ecosystems or, are we to be like Epimetheus and not have the foresight to see the true implications of our actions beyond our primitive desires?

A recently released report by the Gaia Foundation on the extractive industries and all that goes with them brings into clear perspective the scale of destruction and almost frenzied rate of extraction going on with total disregard for populations and the environment.

I would like to give just an outline of this report, a feel for what is happening worldwide, what this means for all of us and how we are all connected in one way or another, whether it happens in the North Sea, the Amazon or Africa and what we could do about it.

It is the sheer scale and rate of extraction which is startling and it is increasing year-on-year. These industries are far bigger than most people realise and are growing. We are now entering a new phase where old deposits are being reworked due to the development of new technologies added to a new scale of demand.

For example, in the last ten years, extraction of iron ore has increased by 180%, Cobalt.165%, Lithium 125% and Coal 44%. Prospecting is also more prevalent which means a massive increase in years to come. Enormous industrial wastelands are created, with the accompanying effects on habitat, water and land pollution. Displacement of population follows.

Human rights, mainly but not exclusively those of indigenous peoples, are being ignored. Environmental laws are broken or circumvented.

To produce one ton of copper, 300 tons of waste is created.

Along with this insatiable hunger for the Earth’s resources comes a great need for water, a resource that in some countries is not plentiful. Even now, SE England is suffering drought.

In Scotland we are in the early stages of fracking which requires 1.8 million gallons of water. To frack nickel requires 377 litres/kg, titanium 100 litres/kg, steel 80 litres/kg, aluminium and copper around 40 litres/kg and to top it all, gold 225,000 litres/kg, giving an indication of how much water is required for this type of industry. The accompanying pollution of each locality is a major problem where waste pollutes the air with particulates and water courses with metal-improving chemicals such as cyanide and mercury.

With all land extraction we find deforestation, destruction of natural water courses, top soil removal and in the USA even mountain top removal, which has been linked to 60,000 cases of cancer according to a Financial Times report. The US Environmental Protection Agency contends that 3.93 billion lbs of toxic chemicals were released into the US environment in 2010, up 16% from 2009, and the mining sector was responsible for 41%.

The volume of minerals which can be recovered from rocks has decreased from the early 1900s, copper from 3% to 0.3%. This leads to more expensive mining and a huge increase in waste materials. To produce one ton of copper, 300 tons of waste is created.

In a 2011 report by Pricewaterhouse Cooper, The Game Has Changed, it is stated that the remaining reserves of most minerals have a lifespan of between twelve years for zinc and 53 years for thermal coal. No doubt new reserves will be found but with more contentious implications such as with offshore mining in Greenland and the Arctic. A huge amount could be recovered by recycling, but this does not solve the problem.

A good start would be for people to know the story behind everything we think we need to have.

Just because most of the extraction happens elsewhere we cannot ignore the fact that indigenous peoples are being displaced from traditional lands by lies and brutality and the earth is being laid bare. These minerals are in the products that we use.

The bridges and roads we build use huge volumes of these resources. All electronic goods are a cocktail of metals and plastic. People in South America, Africa, India and many other parts of the world are asking us for our support to save their lands.

The world is now faced with a huge increase in demand for resources as the populations of China, South America and India all want western lifestyles. This is just not possible. A recent Scottish Government report acknowledges that we would need three planet Earths to achieve it. Yet, here in NE Scotland we want to build 28 miles of dual carriageway and a new ’garden’ is to be created with huge quantities of the world’s resources being used up in the process.

What do we really need? And what do we desire to have? Increasingly we need to ask these questions and find the answers. As a world community it will be forced upon us.

A good start would be for people to know the story behind everything we think we need to have. Where do the minerals in our laptops come from? How much concrete and aluminium is it going to take to build that road, ‘create a new garden’? We might be surprised – and maybe, just maybe, we’ll realise that we don’t need a new iPod, or more roads. We’ve managed up to now and with a positive change of outlook we can manage into the future, beginning to respect the earth and its peoples, and be grateful to do with less.

The full Opening Pandora’s Box report by Phillipe Sibaud is at www.gaiafoundation.org.uk

Reclaim Oor Streets

Creative Writing, Featured, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Apr 192012

By Bob Smith.

Lit’s hear it fer the fowk fa waak
Aroon the streets in ivvery toon
Fa’s only wish is ti be free
Fae motor cars aa fleein aroon

Streets faar ye can walk in peace
Nae noise fae larry or car
A toon cinter free o fumes an steer
Faar the motor vehicle’s nae the Tsar

A placie faar the high street shops
Can dee their trade in tranquility
An cafes hiv tables an chairs ootside
Wi fowk enjoyin a coffee or tea

Streets faar kids can waak ti skweel
Nae aye driven in faimily cars
Fowk’ll think there’s mair chunce
O seein aliens fae the planet Mars

Fowk war born wi things caed legs
Bit they’re nae noo used sae muckle
Instead o haen a fyow car free streets
Lit toons aim ti hae a fair puckle

Git fowk back livin in toon cinters
So some widna hae ti drive ti wark
An maybe they cwid enjoy some peace
Like the car free island o Sark

Ye think am livin in a fantasy warld?
Maybe so bit we maun surely try
Ti mak toon streets fowk freenly
Reclaim oor streets shud be the cry
.
.
.
.
©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2012

Picture Credit: Richard Slessor

Old Susannah No. 70 – A Mixed Bag

Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire, Articles, Community, Information, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Mar 152012

Voice’s Old Susannah considers the upcoming council elections, the UTG referendum result, the happenings on Tullos Hill, International Womens Day, blogging beasties and generosity. By Suzanne Kelly

Tally Ho! The May elections are coming, and not a second too soon. Some of our tireless (or is that tiresome?) councillors are packing up and preparing to move on. Let’s hope they bring all of their talents to their new areas.

I hear that there is now a shortage of packing crates at the Fortress of Doom (aka The Townhouse) as heroic councillors get ready to head into the sunset. I hope they don’t let the doors hit them on their way out.

As to the UTG Referendum? Well, I guess that’s it – it has been a totally above-board, fair-and-square contest.

The grapevine would have it that some of the rich and powerful secret members of the Vote for the City Gardens Project are less than pleased it’s cost so very much money to have such a small margin of victory, but they still got the result they wanted, if not the landslide they’d prayed for (or is that ‘paid for’).

In the next few days I’ll write about the dozen or so wee problems that some people have with the referendum and how it was run.

Did you know that over 300 votes arrived just a wee bit too late to be counted? Did you know it would be totally illegal for any of the campaigning organisations to see the register as to how the votes went? No, neither did I until recently. I also have it on very good authority who some of the VFTCGP backers are. Old Susannah is toying with the idea of naming them.

They would be free to deny the association – but why should they want to be secret in the first place, after all, they were the heroes behind the scenes helping us poor souls know how to vote. Who could turn down their promise of 6,500 new permanent jobs or their £122,000,000 flowing into the city each year? Think of all the parties and portraits that would buy! Wow!

(You might be interested to know that PriceWaterhouse Coopers were asked by me if they had intended their projections about money and jobs to be used as the VFTCGP did in its propaganda. PwC might have been expected to say they were delighted, and that they stand behind their projections 100%. However, they said that as the projections were made for a ‘private client’ they can make no comment on them to me. Of course the bills I’ve seen for PwC look like you and I paid for this great work out of our taxes, but there you go).

And other great news from Tullos Hill. HoMalone is having her way, backed up by impartial ‘expert’ C Piper (perhaps related to the CJ Piper firm which was already paid £42,000 for the bang-up job delivered on tree planting to date?). Yes, the gorse is gone, and with it all those annoying butterflies, bees, moths, and insects.

The birds that would have eaten these critters and the small and larger mammals which lived in the gorse are homeless. If only I had an environmental degree, then I could say we’ve interrupted the food chain and interfered with existing biodiversity on Tullos. As it is, I’m not allowed to make any such observation, however obvious.

Any small mammals or deer rendered homeless should apply at Marischal College reception to declare their homeless status. Of course these creatures are likely now to wind up as road kill. Surely not even HoMalone or Ranger Bigboy will dare to claim any roadkill we see now will be due to overpopulation? Well, we’ll see.

Women around the world lack rights and comforts we all take for granted

Some of those animal-loving, meadow-loving radicals will be handing flyers out and collecting signatures on petitions this Saturday at 12:30 in front of Marks & Spencer Union Street. The petitions apparently are to protest the use of school children to plant the 89,000 trees on Tullos.

Ms Malone indicates this will be an educational experience for the little mites, and I’m sure it will.

Having seen the state of the hill, they will learn about cuts, tetanus boosters, chemical pollution, industrial waste, and dead deer. Thank you, Aileen. I do hope she will make it to the hill to plant a few trees herself. That would seem only fair to me.

For the paper petition, further info, and a PDF of the new flyer, visit: http://oldsusannahsjournal.yolasite.com/

Finally, Old Susannah attended two events in the last week which celebrated International Women’s Day, a great Oxfam fundraiser held by Bead Crazy on St Andrew Street. A dozen or so guests were treated to cocktails (thanks for the Black Russians), brownies and beads. Everyone made pieces from recycled materials which was right up my street.

I’ve turned an old domino into a necklace that says ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’, and a bottle cap into a brooch with an Oxfam fact. Women around the world lack rights and comforts we all take for granted. Thanks to Alex and everyone at Bead Crazy for the event.

Then at the Belmont last Saturday I ran into a collection of women celebrating Women’s day a bit differently. They were all dressed as fairy godmothers, and were collecting wishes from the public as to what people would like to wish for our young girls’ futures. My wishes didn’t include any granite webs or deer culls. Thank you Merlyn and all the other women.

As well as a definition or two, this week I am pleased to announce that Aberdeen Voice has negotiated two new Celebrity Bloggers! They will be featured in this column for the next several weeks.

And now – the first ever Millie & Cattie joint Blog!

“Hi I’m Millie, the Caterpillar!”

“And I’m Cattie the Millipede! We’ve had a horrible, tragic few days: our meadow home was destroyed and many of our friends with it.”

“Yes, sadly that’s true, Cattie. Bulldozers showed up without warning to our Tullos Hill home, and ruined our wildflower and gorse home. We had our rescue quite by chance.”

“That’s right Millie. We were chewing on a Foxglove plant and suddenly it was ripped up and hurled into the air. Sometime later the plant was found by a kindly passerby, and we were all taken to a safe house where we all now live.”

“We were both reluctant to launch this blog, but Old Susannah showed us the coverage Aberdeen was giving to a talking cactus, Morris the Monkey, and Jake the Ghost. So we thought, ‘Why not try it?’ We know Spike the Cactus is very popular, and if people are willing to take voting advice from a monkey and a ghost (no offence), then people should know our story, too.”

“Yes Millie – we have a responsibility to let people know our beautiful home is gone, and an entire generation of moths, butterflies, bees have been wiped out. What will become of some of our larger friends like the birds, small mammals and especially the kindly roe deer is our huge worry now.”

“Agreed Cattie. We are grateful we were saved – we only hope our friends who haven’t been destroyed yet will be spared. Got any lettuce?”

Cattie and Millie will give us an update next week and for the foreseeable future.

Charity: (adjective) state of being generous, donating time or money to those less fortunate.

While our very own local billionaire works selflessly to ensure his lasting granite memorial will bring his family continued and visible dominance over a certain city, a less savvy multi-millionaire has displayed a woeful lack of commonsense.

When it looked as if there would be some public outcry against his web, he calmly threatened to take his ball and go home.

J K Rowling, creator of the Harry Potter saga read the world over, has donated over £100 million to charity in the past year and a bit. Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard hardly anything about her donations. Where were the press cuttings, the headlines, the photos? What did she get in return to show for it?

Ms Rowling has a lot to learn I fear. Not only has she given enough away to nearly pay for the granite web we all long for, she’s dropped way down on the UK’s wealthiest list.

We will remember for quite some time how Sir Ian made his gracious £50 million donation to Aberdeen. As long as we did what he wanted with it, and let unelected entities ‘manage’ our common good land, it was a great gift indeed. When it looked as if there would be some public outcry against his web, he calmly threatened to take his ball and go home. Charity begins at home, and we’re going to take his charity, whatever form it takes, and like it.

Sure, Rowling may have made children all over the world discover the joy of reading, and her books got people to read together in families and groups. Her money may have helped countless people the world over across a wide variety of problems and concerns. She may have made important points about the value of love, courage, kindness and friendship –

But where’s the statue? Alas, if there’s no granite monument and not a ton of press coverage bragging about the money, then the donations might as well never have happened. Shame. Perhaps a great PR firm could help…

One of the more radical points I picked up from these ‘children’s books of Ms Rowling’s ran along the lines of this (I deliberately paraphrase) “One thing the tyrants of this world fear is that one day, one of the people they have oppressed will rise up against them.” Can’t for the life of me think why that particular idea should spring to mind, but there it is.

New Acronyms!

Hooray! We’ve more acronyms in this town than we know what to do with. First it was the ‘Tree for Every Citizen’ scheme or “T’FEC!’ as it is affectionately known in Torry. The tree scheme’s supporters (all 3 of them) are so pleased with their recent successes that they have more plans up their sleeves, or so I hear.

‘Forget Allowing Citizens Anything for Free’ is a brainchild for the coming budget cuts which are in the pipeline, reflecting the service cuts and support staff cuts. It will be called ‘FAC AFF!’ for short.

If this proves successful, phase 2 may be launched. Its working title is Forget Every Citizen Utterly – or ‘FEC U’ for short.

If you want to see these schemes enacted, then don’t rock the boat at the elections, and we will continue on our happy course. See you down at the Granite Web or Monorail station soon!

Next week? – At this rate what our Council will dream up is anyone’s guess…

Eence An Elegant Lady – Noo An Aul Hag

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, History, Information, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Feb 292012

By Bob Smith.

Union Street-eence an elegant lady
Full o verve an flair
Nooadays she’s an aul hag
Faa’s sprootin facial hair

Biggins they war clean an bricht
Maist wi a fine granite wa
Some noo in need o a dicht
Ti wash dirt an stoor awa

Ye hid shoppies o aa descriptions
Sellin different kines o goods
Noo ye’ve git phone shops
Sellin mobiles ti flashy dudes

Fer smairt sartorial elegance
Yon Fred Watt fittit the bill
We’re left wi multi nationals
Faa’s prices wid mak ye ill

We hid bakers an grocers shops
Car showrooms showin their wares
Local baccy shops an fruit merchants
As weel as butchers sellin hares

Shopkeepers eesed aye ti keep
Pavements free o sna an ice
Ask them ti dee aat nooadays
Maist widna tak yer advice

On pavements eence bonnie an clean
There’s tabbies an chuddy aa stuck
Faith ye nivver are affa sure
Fit’s drappit amang iss muck

Biggins up abeen the shops
War clean an used as flats
Nooadays they’re dreich an worn
An mair suited for some bats

The restaurant at the Capitol
Wis famous fer its high tea
Syne ye gid throwe ti the picters
An drooled ower Sandra Dee

Setterday nichts on Union Street
Eesed ti be aa gweed fun
Noo ye’ll git a richt kickin
As yer lyin on the grun

Worst o aa noo is the traffic
The cause o noise an soss
Maist drivin doon Union Street
They jist cudna gie a toss

©Bob Smith “The Poetry Mannie” 2011

Letter To The Sane World – A UTG Overview

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Feb 292012

Shakhaf Barak wrote to a friend highlighting the history behind the current referendum that is dividing the city. He has kindly allowed Voice to use it, almost verbatim as the deadline approaches for voting.

Dear Friend,
Here in Aberdeen there is a bitter referendum taking place, and it could go either way. Over 70,000 people have voted thus far, in a city of barely 212,000 souls, and both sides have reported each other to the police. Central to this story is a 250-year old city centre park, Union Terrace Gardens, and the billionaire oil tycoon seeking to redevelop it.

Union Terrace Gardens are similar to Edinburgh’s Princes Street Gardens, lying in the natural amphitheatre of the Denburn valley, the Denburn being a stream which flows right through the city, underground where it borders the Gardens. Much of Aberdeen’s best architecture was clearly envisaged to overlook this area.

The Gardens are home to a cluster of 260-year old elms trees that once formed part of the Corbie Haugh, a historic wood which ran through the valley. This is among the largest concentration of healthy mature elm trees in Europe, and they are reputed to have escaped Dutch Elm Disease, not only due to their isolation, but also because the pollution of the city has afforded some sort of protection from it.

Both the park and its beautiful Victorian toilets are Grade A-listed, and all of the trees are under preservation orders. Up until as late as 2003, the Gardens formed the centrepiece of Aberdeen’s Britain In Bloom entry, and they were truly stunning, but since then expenditure has all but ceased, and the toilets have been closed for several years.

In 2008 a local arts organisation, Peacock Visual Arts (PVA) was granted planning permission for an award-winning and sympathetically-designed arts centre to be built into the hillside of the Gardens. This would have meant felling a small number of trees but none of the elms. The design was universally acclaimed and it was hoped that this scheme would help regenerate interest in the Gardens.

Enter Sir Ian Wood, one of Scotland’s richest men, and chief of Wood Group PSN. Sir Ian decided that he’d like to redevelop the Gardens by building a five-storey bunker in their place, whilst covering over the adjoining railway line and urban dual carriageway, with the entire roof of this construction forming a flat civic square at street level. It was not entirely clear what would be installed in the bunker, although speculation was rife to say the least.

He offered the council £50m towards the cost of this project, which was mooted to cost £140m. This was possibly an optimistic figure since Union Square, a similarly sized shopping mall with none of the technical difficulties or prior excavation work, cost £250m to build. The council felt this offer was too good to refuse, but the some members of the public were up in arms.

Sir Ian decided to put the proposal out to public consultation and promised to walk away should the public reject it.

The ‘consultation’ was commissioned by Aberdeen City and Shire Economic Future (ACSEF), a publicly-funded unelected QUANGO, and conducted by The BiG Partnership, Scotland’s largest PR company.

It many ways it resembled a marketing exercise. The bulk of participation was via a website, which asked several questions with a somewhat loaded feel to them. For technical reasons, the question on whether or not to proceed with the plan defaulted to a YES vote.

If, during completion of the questionnaire, any previously-given responses were subsequently amended, this again defaulted back to a YES vote. When the results were released, it became apparent from the comments sections that may people who had intended voting NO had instead been recorded as YES voters.

Over 10,000 people participated in the consultation, and In spite of it’s technical oversights, the public voted against the Civic Square proposal by 54%-46%, a healthy and significant majority. However the PR machine kicked in and somehow spun that the 202,000 people who had not participated possibly represented a silent majority in favour of this scheme.

Critics described it as a cross between Tellytubby Land and a skate park

Sir Ian decided not to walk away, and the project went to a council vote. The council voted in favour of taking the plan forward at the expense of PVA who by that time had 80% of their £20m funding in place. It has subsequently been alleged that some of the PVA funding was diverted into the new project.

The BiG Partnership now re-launched the plans under a new name, The City Garden Project (CGP). It was claimed that the outcome of the public consultation was that the public were broadly in favour of a garden as opposed to a civic square. Any implication that they were actually in favour of preserving the existing gardens was ignored.

The interested parties now felt that the best option was to redevelop the Gardens by building a five-storey bunker in their place whilst covering over the adjoining railway line and urban dual carriageway, with the entire roof of this construction forming a new garden at street level.

The whole thing had an air of déjà vu.

This time it was decided to hold an international design contest, paid for with public money. Six designs were shortlisted from hundreds of entrants. One, The Granite Web, bore a striking resemblance to Civic Square concept, albeit with less concrete and more greenery. Critics described it as a cross between Tellytubby Land and a skate park.

The local press heavily promoted the Granite Web design from the outset of the contest, leading with it on their front page and providing it with more photo coverage than the other designs. It was almost as though it had been ordained.

The public voted, and spoiled ballots aside, all indications were that The Winter Garden design proved the most popular. An independent poll confirmed this and put The Monolith in second place.

Tellingly both of these designs retained much of the topology of the existing Gardens. Word on the street was that The Granite Web was not a popular choice, but we’ll never know for sure, because a decision was taken not to release the results of the so-called public vote to the public.

It was then announced that the winner of the private-public vote would be put forward to the selection panel, along with another design. The self-appointed selection panel consisted of Sir Ian, some other influential people from the oil industry, an architectural consultant on the project payroll, and a councillor who backed the project.

The two designs discussed were the acknowledged public favourite, The Winter Garden, and you’ve guessed it, the joker in the pack, The Granite Web. When the panel announced the result, it should have come as no surprise to anyone that they had chosen The Granite Web, yet there was a shocked silence, and even those had come out in favour of the redevelopment initially appeared bemused if not downright confused.

The original Civic Square was mooted to cost £140m, with £50m coming from Sir Ian, £20m from the private sector, and the rest to be borrowed through a Tax Incremental Funding (TIF) scheme. Any over-run would be covered by the council (read local taxpayer) .

Only £5m of the private sector contribution has materialised thus far, but there has been an announcement that The Granite Web would be significantly less expensive to build than the previously-envisaged, but somewhat less complex, civic square. Sir Ian has offered to personally fund up to £35M of any cost over runs, should they occur.

The TIF proposal cheerfully bends all the guidelines of TIF funding. TIF is intended to be used to redevelop brownfield sites, with the loan being repaid over a 25 year period through increased rates recouped from any businesses setting up in the redeveloped area. The city council had already approved planning permission for two new industrial estates on the outskirts of town, under the business case for the TIF funding, these new estates become part of the TIF zone, so in The Granite Web’s case, sections of the TIF zone are located several miles away from the actual redeveloped area.

The predictions are for 6,500 jobs and £122m annual revenue to the local economy, all based on the new industrial estates, which have no obvious linkage to The Granite Web, operating at full capacity. Even if one were to accept that any new jobs could be somehow attributed to The Granite Web, the figure of 6,500 seems unlikely given that the London Olympics is only projected to create 3,500 jobs.

Either way, the setup feels a bit shaky; the truth is that these jobs and their associated revenue will accrue with or without The Granite Web.

By this time, councillors seemed to be getting edgy and unwilling to green-light the project, so they decided to hold a public referendum. Any group wishing to campaign was required to adhere to an £8,000 spending limit, and for this they were provided with 300 words of text in the voting pack.

The packs went out, but unfortunately some of the Retain lobby’s statements were mangled due to a ‘computer error’. The voting packs were closely followed by a big money public relations mail bombing campaign by The BiG Partnership promoting The Granite Web. Publicity materials went through every letter box, pro Granite Web articles dominated the press, and adverts were played around the clock on the local radio stations.

Apparently this expenditure was permitted by virtue of being funded by an ‘unregistered’, and as yet anonymous, campaign group – whatever that means! I guess it’s a bit like not having to pay tax because your parents never applied for a birth certificate, who knows? By this point, things were becoming surreal to say the least.

The referendum closes on 1 March and it’s a bitter fight that has divided the city. For example, an oil company boss has made a complaint to the police alleging mail hacking and cyber bullying. The police claim they are taking this allegation seriously. There have also been two arrests possibly related to claims of vote-rigging, but ultimately no one was charged.

The town has gone berserk and it’s civil war all over Facebook. It’s as if we’re all experiencing a really, really bad shared dream. I just dread to think what we’ll all be waking up to on Saturday morning.

Ten Reasons To Vote Retain Union Terrace Gardens

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Environment, Featured, Information, Opinion No Responses »

Feb 242012

By Mike Shepherd.

The polling cards are out for the Union Terrace Gardens referendum and you have until March 1 to vote. The hype means you’ll have been bombarded with leaflets, pamphlets, news items and radio adverts.
If ‘connectivity’, a ‘21st century contemporary garden’, or ‘street-level access’ are key factors in deciding your vote, look no further; vote for the City Garden Project.

If you are undecided or swithering then read these very good reasons for voting to retain Union Terrace Gardens.

1. Your vote will preserve the look and feel of the Granite City. Union Terrace Gardens are an integral part of the heritage of Aberdeen. Planned by the same architects who designed the Art Gallery and the frontage of Marischal College, they show an architectural harmony in the city centre which would be destroyed by a modernistic City Garden.

2. Your vote will not result in a ghastly modern structure replacing our park. Although described as the City Garden, it is in fact a mixture of buildings, flyovers, underpasses and parkland. The design has a passing resemblance to 1960s-style new town architecture. At one public meeting, someone said that the underpasses in particular were likely to end up as urban no-go areas. I have even heard a supporter of the scheme conceding that it will look dated after about five to ten years.

3. Your vote will stop a multitude of new glass box office blocks being built in the city centre. Council documents show that consideration has been given to plans to build a central business district in the city centre and encourage office block construction. The building of the City Garden Project, “will encourage development in the city centre sooner, and on a bigger scale, than might otherwise be the case without public investment in enabling infrastructure.”

4. Your vote will improve our much-loved park. Jimmy Milne, oilman and MD of Balmoral Group, has said:

“I and many of my business contemporaries, are committed to establishing a fund which will help bring the gardens back to their former glory. Without destroying our heritage, and without putting Aberdeen City further into debt, it would not be difficult to breathe fresh life into the park. Improved access, new planting, cleaning and restoration, park wardens and live events could all be relatively easily and cost effectively achieved.”

5. Your vote will ensure that the mature trees in Union Terrace Gardens will be saved. All 77 trees will be kept, including the twelve elms, some of which are at least 200 years old.

6. Your vote will stop our Council borrowing £70m they can’t afford. Aberdeen City Council, £562m in debt, is being asked to borrow £70m through a risky tax scheme to help fund the City Garden Project. If there is insufficient money to pay back the loan, Council funds will be required to service it.

7. Your vote will avoid significant disruption and pollution in the city centre for the near three years it will take to build the scheme. The technical feasibility study for the project estimates that the equivalent of 3,947 dump trucks of earth and 4,605 dump trucks of granite will be excavated from the Gardens causing ‘large environmental impacts from noise, transport, dust and energy use.’

8. Your vote will avoid the major traffic problems caused by the movement of heavy lifting equipment, dumper trucks and lorries in and out of the city centre. It is estimated that the City Garden will take almost three years to build. It is likely that there will be major traffic problems in the city for much of this time. City centre business will be impacted by this and may never recover.

9. Your vote will avoid much, if not all, of the Council’s cultural activities being displaced to the underground building in the City Garden. The council funds institutions occupying cosy, intimate venues such as the Music Hall, Lemon Tree and Belmont Cinema. A review of council-funded cultural activities will be made with a view to possible relocation to the underground concourse.

10. Your vote will avoid any consideration that the future of the HM Theatre could be in doubt. Two major performance venues will be built in the City Garden only yards from HM Theatre. Councillors have asked if this will have an impact on the future of HM Theatre. No specific assurances have been given.

Aberdeen could change forever if the City Garden is built, and probably not for the better.

We have the chance to keep the leafy, green heart of the Granite City.

VOTE: RETAIN UNION TERRACE GARDENS

Old Susannah No.68 – Untangling The Web

Aberdeen City, Articles, Community, Creative Writing, Environment, Information, Opinion, Satire and Humour No Responses »

Feb 172012

Old Susannah looks at the Granite Web, and the impressive effort it has taken to spin.

By Suzanne Kelly.

Tally Ho! Yet another vibrant and dynamic week in the Granite Web City. Whilst Friends of Union Terrace Gardens, Aberdeen against Austerity, and Democracy Watch engaged in some inexpensive grassroots campaigning by flyer, the mysterious Vote for the CGP group pulled out all the stops and spent, spent, spent.

You could be forgiven for thinking that Northsound is playing City Garden Project commercials non-stop. The Art Gallery has a swish new display showing the Garden plan in its Alice-in-Wonderland perspective and garish colours, and issues of The Granite Web compete in the ugly stakes with the A3 VFTCGP colour flyer sent out before.

News reaches Old Susannah that visitors to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary are being cheered up no end by pro-City Garden Project posters on the walls. There is no escape at work either, as employees of Wood Group (no surprise really), Nautronix, and Taqa all seem to have received lovely e-mails from bosses hinting gently that they should vote for the CGP.

I do find it very touching that employers are looking after their employees so well and giving gentle guidance which puts no pressure on them at all.

Why do I call the VFTCGP members secret? Because I was told in so many words by the BIG Partnership, which does PR for this group and, coincidentally, the artwork for the CGP, that “if the members want to stay secret, it’s up to them.”

But before I return to my Myth-busting busting activities started last week – I only got through the first four of the ten Myths the CGP team say we’re suffering from – condolences to Rangers fans.

Was this one of the top Scottish clubs? Yes.

Will this leave a massive hole in Scottish football? Yes.

Will other sides face similar financial clubs? Looks like it.

I believe one tycoon is still paying some £60,000 of his own money each time his team plays. I do hope this mogul is not getting overly financially stretched. I’d again ask the question if Loirston Loch land – in a Special Area of Conservation – should really be turned into a 21,000 seat football ground with offices and museum in this climate.

Donald’s granny was Scottish. This gives him good cause to call Alex Salmond ‘insane’

Well, I would ask, but the continuous concrete covering of anything green in Aberdeen seems unstoppable. Thankfully, we all have one tireless, gentle campaigner who is not giving up the fight for ‘Scotland’s heritage’. Step forward, Mr Donald Trump.

You might have seen one or two small news items saying that this gentle giant wants to build the galaxy’s greatest golf course on a no-doubt-underused stretch of coastline. He’s got rid of many of the view-blocking trees, but there are horrible plans to build windfarms offshore which could actually be seen by his guests, if you can believe that!

Now, windfarms don’t actually work very efficiently yet. The technology can, and should improve. But I guess we’re all agreed there are few things in life worse than being a rich golfer who might have to look at an offshore wind farm. For those people in favour of this kind of blot on the seascape, I would remind you that you’re forgetting something very important.

Donald’s granny was Scottish. This gives him good cause to call Alex Salmond ‘insane’ for supporting renewable energy. Please try to keep that in mind, thank you.

Finally, it might have been Valentine’s Day this week, but it looks like the May to December romance between Callum McCaig and Aileen ‘Ho’Malone is over. One of them is an over-blown, over-hyped, over-rated, naïve, headline-seeking soul, blissfully unaware that they are dangerously out of their depth. The other is Callum McCaig.

No more will they share a coalition; there will be no more romps on Tullos Hill; there will be no more late-night negotiations. Maybe yet the SNP will change its tune over the ridiculous cull of deer to plant trees that cannot possibly grow on Tullos Hill. Watch this space.

the taxpayers’ side of this great granite garden bargain is to borrow £92m and pay the loan, and its interest, back over decades.

There is certainly a current in that direction, not least fuelled by public anger and the wasting of some £43,800 to date. Still, a break-up is hard to take. Final confirmation of this great bust-up comes in newspaper stories announcing that the coalition is still absolutely fine. I am thinking of offering my condolences to Mrs Robinson, sorry, I mean Aileen.

I’m still thinking on it. PS. Message to Irene – feel better soon!

And now back to debunking the debunking of the Myths. The City Garden Project seems to be the only entity that’s been presented with these Myths, and I commented on the first four last week. Here are a few choice words on the remaining five Myths. Thank you CGP for printing these not-at-all-wild and not-at-all-made-up Myths – we’re all really onside now. Their comments are in bold. Old Susannah’s are in regular type

5. It will cost the taxpayer millions of pounds – FALSE.

Sure. All this happens for free, and you’ve not paid a penny, and you won’t pay a penny. I wonder if the CGP forgot about the £422,000, or probably more, of taxpayers’ money Scottish Enterprise has already spent on this project? And, no doubt, our CGP friends don’t think it matters that some of your city councillors voted to set aside up to £300,000 of your money for legal costs.

Old Susannah is still mulling that one over. A billionaire is ‘giving’ Aberdeen £50m, but there isn’t enough money on his side of the fence to pay the legal costs the city will incur? So, rather than getting granny a new wheelchair, or providing 24/7 care at homes which have just announced cuts etc etc, Wood wants your £300,000. But this £722,000, nearly quarter of a million pounds, is small change. we’re going to chop down existing, healthy trees, thus getting rid of wildlife that’s called the trees home for decades, if not centuries

Multiply that figure by ten and you get close to the amount of interest on the loan Aberdeen City Council has to sign for this project to go ahead, according to one of last night’s radio show speakers. Thanks to Original FM (on 105FM) for hosting last night’s debate. Anyway, the taxpayers’ side of this great granite garden bargain is to borrow £92m and pay the loan, and its interest, back over decades.

If the 6500 new jobs don’t come in and we don’t make £122m each year (I can’t wait to see how this happens), if we go over budget, if anything goes wrong – then it will cost us an unknown additional amount of money in repayments. The trams fiasco has reached a cost of nearly one billion pounds.

But this won’t cost you a cent. Honest, guv.

6. Fake, plastic trees – FALSE.

It’s a great Radiohead song but a lousy Myth. It has been suggested that fake plastic trees will be planted in the City Gardens to act as vents for the giant car park underneath. If any fake trees are seen they will be beside the flying pigs. 186 new trees will be planted, some of them mature and many will be Scots Pines.

Old Susannah doesn’t know where to start with this alleged Myth. She does find it reassuring to find that a job in public relations entails so much creative writing talent. I know of no-one who’s heard of plastic trees being part of the plan. However, if we’re building underground, then we’ll need plants with very tiny root systems. Goodbye 250-year old elm trees, one of only a few surviving clusters of elms free from disease, and home to wildlife. In comes progress. Who needs fresh air, wildlife, shade and beauty when you can have ramps?

we’re going to chop down existing, healthy trees, thus getting rid of wildlife that’s called the trees home for decades, if not centuries

My favourite bit is the announcement that the trees stay in the Gardens forever, as wood chip and seating. Well, you can’t say that’s not sensitive to nature. Still, the BIG Partnership’s student placement has managed to make a meal of a non-existent plastic tree myth. Perhaps someone will explain how mature trees are going to be magically planted in the new Gardens?

Where will their roots go, as there is meant to be underground parking? How do we get to have a thriving pine forest in the city centre – something that doesn’t seem possible according to experts including local architects?

If Old Susannah has this right, we’re going to chop down existing, healthy trees, thus getting rid of wildlife that’s called the trees home for decades, if not centuries, plant some new trees, and have the world’s only pine forest in a city centre.

The pines must grow faster than genetically-modified Leylandii hedges if the drawings I’ve seen are correct, and of course, no-one can fault the accuracy of these precision drawings. I like the giant transparent child romping over the flowerbeds best. So, replacing grass and trees with grass, concrete and trees can be done for only £92m. RESULT!

7. It will cost people their jobs – FALSE.

As a result of the project a projected 6500 new jobs are to be created, not taking into account the hundreds of jobs that will come as a result of the construction. In addition, a transformed city centre will breathe new life across the city, helping us become a World Energy City long after oil and gas has run dry in the North Sea. Existing businesses will be retained meaning existing jobs will be safe-guarded.

These 6500 jobs are going to be wonderful! What will they be? Well, for openers we’ve seen how well Union Square has protected high street businesses. Our small high street shops are struggling whilst multinationals got a cheap rent deal in Union Square. But clearly what we need is….more shops. Surely there is nothing we’d rather do than shop, and you can’t have enough shops can you? It’s not as if a glut of shops will ever result in shop closures, price wars and endless sales, especially ‘Going out of business’ sales.

I wonder if there is any reason that a cafe culture has never really taken off in Aberdeen? Could it be that it’s often too cold, too windy or too rainy? Could it be because the City Council consistently refused to allow anyone to run a snack bar or coffee kiosk in the shelter of Union Terrace Gardens? Clearly not. One wave of the granite wand, and just like those convincing concept drawings, we’ll all be sitting outdoors in short-sleeved shirts, drinking decaf mocha lattes while Toto play on the brand new stage, in front of the existing indoor theatre.

Right. The taxpayer is propping up the AECC with extra money since it can’t make enough by holding events. Same for the Lemon Tree. But the new theatre won’t have any problems making a massive profit and creating loads of jobs.

So, ‘how many theatres should a taxpayer prop up?’ is one question.

I for one can’t wait to sit through an outdoor electronic folk music competition in February. But, by winter, this theatre will be an ice rink, thereby competing with the ice rink the city tried to kill off before.

But no, there won’t be any harm to jobs. We’ll need people to cut down the trees and get rid of the wildlife. Then there will be jobs cleaning the graffiti off the Web. Yes, the Web will create more permanent jobs in small Aberdeen than the 2012 Olympics will create in Greater London. Rest as assured as I am on that point.

8. It will be entirely made from concrete – FALSE.

Obviously concrete will be used – would you like to relax, visit an exhibition or attend a concert on top of a cardboard box? The project has been carefully designed so there will be 95% more open, green space with a series of pathways providing access for people through, across and in and out of the gardens. These paths will be made of granite, crushed granite and wood.

By now, Old Susannah is finding the content of the dispelled Myths by BIG just a little bit patronising and smarmy. They thought they had to talk us out of believing in plastic trees. Now they explain that we need to sit on something more robust than a cardboard box. Thanks for that! Appreciated.

So, ‘how many theatres should a taxpayer prop up?’ is one question. ‘How many competing businesses should Scottish Enterprise suggest?’ is quite another. They used to have rules on displacement and suchlike, but these seem to have gone, probably about the same time as your employer started to tell you how to vote.

This project has been carefully designed. Of course it has. More green space, but somehow it manages to have a giant concrete, sorry, granite theatre which takes up some 15% minimum of the existing Gardens. They count the giant granite potato-crisp shaped thingy over the stage as green space.

what if the architects were to give us some drawings showing how these ramps will work safely now rather than later?

Of course it won’t sustain any wildlife, and at best will be a thin wedge of sod over concrete, but if they want to call it green space, fine.

I guess these people call anything green space if they can colour it green with Crayolas on their paper plan.

Looking at the slope of the ramps both up and downwards, I’m wondering how the aged, infirm or wheelchair-bound are going to find this system easier than the current access. The current access could use an additional ramp and you could probably do this for less than £92m as well. For the truly baffled, there is ground level access on the north side, not far from the theatre. This is where vehicles somehow manage to get in.

Clearly there is no other way to ‘relax and visit an exhibition or attend a concert in this town.’ Let’s borrow £92 million and build this beauty.

9. There will be no railings in the Granite Web, people will fall from the paths – FALSE.

Safety will be paramount. The concept design shows the various walkways at different levels but the final design will show how these work safely. And, seriously, do you think any development in a country obsessed with health and safety would get off the ground without proper safety measures?

Our PR work placement is patronising us again. I might be old, but here’s a crazy idea – what if the architects were to give us some drawings showing how these ramps will work safely now rather than later? Are they going to be enclosed, and of course, not at all potential rat traps? Are they going to have fencing that somehow won’t look like Stalag 17? How will wheelchair users go up and down these steep ramps? Details, details.

Well, Old Susannah has run out of space for one week. We will return to normal definitions next week, and take a closer look at who is behind ‘Vote for the City Garden Project’. You will, of course, want to know what businesses are in this group, to make sure you can reward them with your custom. Or not.

Finally, many thanks to those brave business people who have stuck out their necks in favour of saving our city’s only unique, free, green garden.

That’s you, J Milne. It is appreciated.

Older Entries